One More Look at the Ghost [MorningStar!] [M]

[Rhindeer]

It was difficult to make sense of the passing of time down in the brig where there were no windows to tell night from day, and the next few days came with their own unique challenges. But the worst was behind them, and slowly the big anxieties were replaced with mundane anxieties: her first experience with seasickness during one rougher day (thank goddess for Spike's medicine!), the struggles of maintaining modesty in quarters that did not allow it (oh, how she had struggled to hold her bladder until her body made the decision for her, and it was either suck it up and use the pot or embarrass herself even more), and then the more simple challenge of staying entertained within a space with only four walls and a cot.

That part wasn't so hard, though. She talked to Spike when she wasn't feeling ill or resting--and she even, at one point, got to speak with a spirit that appeared down there with them, and gently send them on their way.

But through even the small, awkward challenges, as strange as it was, she came out of it trusting Spike all the more and feeling more comfortable around him, like she could lower her guard and truly relax. It was strange how four plain walls and a cot became a place of security and safety rather than ever feeling like a prison. But even if it was a prison, Spike made for a wonderful cellmate, and she even found herself offering to share the cot with him so he wouldn't have to lay on the floorboards.

Fortunately for the both of them, while she did have more nightmares, she only had one where she thrashed.

But suddenly, right when things had settled into an odd sort of familiar routine, it was over. They landed in Serendipity--

And the future, once more, became a giant question mark.

Walking beside Spike, a robe pulled over her clothes to take off some of the chill, Fang stared at the town stretching out ahead of them with wide eyes, the many buildings with architecture she had only seen in books. It was a beautiful night with clear skies and different stars than she was used to, the smells, the plants, the trees...none of them were familiar at all, all of them new species. Even the insect she swatted off her neck was new!

She stared at the crushed creature in her hand, wincing at the smear of her own blood in her hand and whispering an apology, and quickly brushed it off. Then she squeezed in closer to Spike, hooking an arm around his. "Well," she said wryly, hiding her nerves as best as she could behind a laugh. "At least our nations have that in common. All the bugs want to eat you."

[MorningStar]

Stepping off the docks into the labyrinthine streets of Serendipity, Spike instinctively drew the hood of his coat over his head, a subtle shield against prying eyes from a past he wished to keep concealed. The night sky above Serendipity unfolded like an expansive canvas, stars shimmering with a muted brilliance, casting an ethereal glow upon the city's diverse architecture.

The buildings, each with its own unique design, stood as silent witnesses to countless stories. Their facades painted an intricate tapestry against the inky darkness, a testament to the city's rich history and vibrant present. The distant sound of waves crashing against the docks provided a rhythmic backdrop, a soothing melody that echoed through the narrow cobblestone streets.

As they traversed the winding pathways, a certain warmth enveloped Spike, both from the layers of his coat and the comforting presence of Fang. Against the chilly night air, her figure pressed against his, offering a shared shield against the wind. It felt like a good start to what waited on them in the foreign land for Fang.

And then she squashed a bug. And then she apologized to it. And he smiled. "You're so cute," he said without thinking of the weight, and then pointed in the direction of an inn - something he knew from experience was a little more private than the tavern they stayed at previously. "Let's stay there tonight, I'll take you to Maya in the morning."

[Rhindeer]

She was...cute?

Fang laughed at that, leaning her head against him as they walked. "You're too kind, but I'm a complete and total wreck!" she said. Another time and she have been more flustered, but over the past week (oh goddess, had it really been so long) she had grown a little more used to it, a little more comfortable, and right then she found it more funny than anything with her hair all greasy and skin salty. She had managed to wash herself a little on board the ship, with cold salt water, but that left much to be desired when she valued proper daily baths.

And then Spike said the most beautiful words she had ever heard uttered, pointing ahead at a quaint building out of storybook.

"Oh Inima, that sounds wonderful! I was certain we'd have to walk a lot more!" Fang sighed, perking up hopefully. "Do they have baths there? I am SO crusty and I'm sure I smell like seaweed! But, ahem, less selfishly...good idea, Spike. We owe it to Maya to be mentally fresh for her. She deserves our full attention and I'm not sure I could give that to her right now."

[MorningStar]

Spike's brow furrowed in confusion at Fang's response. "Crusty?" he muttered to himself, unintentionally voicing his puzzlement.

He leaned in with caution and gave her a curious sniff. Perhaps a bit crusty. Feeling it a tad unfair, Spike hesitated before reluctantly taking a brief whiff of his own scent. The face he made revealed that, indeed, personal hygiene was a shared concern.

"There are baths, yes," he said, just as much for himself as it was for her. "They are attached to the rooms at this inn."

[Rhindeer]

"H-hey!" Fang laughed, swatting lightly at his arm when he SNIFFED her! Her face went red with embarrassment, but then...he sniffed himself, too.

She snorted, biting her lip to hold in some of her mirth. "Yes, crusty! It's been days!" she said, perhaps a bit dramatically. "And you're no fresher!" she added with a teasing smile and a playful nudge. 

"I hardly feel human anymore, I feel like...like...oh! Like a whale. You know how whales get all covered in barnacles, have you ever seen that? That's how I feel. It must drive them crazy, poor things, and them with no arms to scratch."

She was walking faster now, nearly dragging Spike along for once. The goal was in sight, though, and she simply could not wait.

[MorningStar]

Fang was saying some strange things this evening, but Spike found himself enjoying it nonetheless.

"Whales?" Spike asked, his voice soft, as he found himself practically being dragged behind Fang. Observing her figure from behind, his eyes traced her form more liberally than he would readily admit. After a moment of contemplation, he couldn't help but comment, "But you don't look like a whale..."

They arrived at the inn soon after, the jingle of a bell announcing their entrance as they opened the door. The cozy ambiance enveloped them, a welcoming retreat from the chilly night outside. The desk clerk greeted them with a warm smile, his eyes, however, lingering on Fang with subtle speculation. After a few moments of observation, he cleared his throat, determined to cast aside any biases he may have harbored toward a foreigner.

"Staying the night?" he asked, his tone shifting to a neutral professionalism as he extended the offer.

Spike fished around in his coat until he found the crumpled bills, which he then slid across the counter toward the desk clerk. "Yes, one room, please," he said with a nod, the transaction sealing their temporary refuge for the night. The clerk efficiently processed the payment and the room key exchanged hands.

[Rhindeer]

Fang sputtered, choking on a laugh. She didn't look like a whale?! Oh Inima. "I should hope not! Why would I look like a whale?"

Her confidence only wavered when they actually reached the inn, her pace slowing as she once more let Spike take the lead from here. Because as they entered the building, she quickly realized a few obvious things: she had zero idea of how things worked here. Simple, basic things. The currency in her coin purse was Thanati. Would they even accept that here? The greetings were different, maybe even the way you asked for a room was different. She didn't want to offend anyone—and as her eyes fell on the clerk, a fresh wave of insecurity washed over her, the trauma of the ride over still so fresh.

What if he was judging her? Thinking she was just a...a...

She lowered her eyes and looked at the ground as Spike secured them a room. Wait, A room? Singular? She snapped a look up at him, but said nothing because...well, it made sense. They'd shared a room this long already so why not save money?

And, admittedly, the idea of being in a room alone after the last time...it made her stomach twist with an unexpected wave of anxiety.

No, no, it made sense.

Up the stairs they went and into a room that, like the tavern, had only one bed. Because of course it did. But unlike the one at the sketchy tavern, the bed was bigger, the room was much larger, had there was another door inside it that lead somewhere. Everything also looked to be of a much better quality as well. The bedding looked plush, the pillows fluffy and new, and there was even a set of chairs and a table to sit at near a window.

With a sigh of relief, Fang carefully laid her sword atop the table and slung her bag down into a chair. "Sweet Inima," she breathed. "It's almost like I'm back home. This is fancy!" she said, swinging around to beam up at Spike.

[MorningStar]

Spike carefully arranged his belongings in the chair opposite Fang's, offering her a gentle smile in response to her use of the term "fancy."

"It's not bad. Knox would often put me up here when..." He halted, avoiding delving into the details of his past. "Well, you know."

As he scanned the room, he noticed the bathroom door slightly ajar and gestured towards it. "Why don't you take a bath first? I can wait."

"Oh, I hope you don't mind the one room," he added quickly, "I didn't want to.. well, you know."

Did she know? He seemed to mention it frequently. He resolved to use the time while she was in the tub to work on improving every aspect of himself. That should be doable, right?

[Rhindeer]

The first "you know" she understood. Knox, then? Was that a friend or employer? She chose not to ask; the "you know" seemed to imply he didn't want to go there.

Fang slipped into the room Spike indicated when he mentioned "bath", quite happy to take him up on his generosity. From the other side of the door, she was still able to hear him clearly as he spoke—and it was the second "you know" that she actually didn't know.

"Oh?" she said as she started to undress, nose wrinkling as she flung the grungy clothes to the floor. "I do? What do I know?"

Turning toward the tub, more than ready to enjoy a soak and scrub off days of ick, she suddenly froze, staring blankly at what she saw.

"Uhhh...well...I can tell you one thing I don't know," she started, stepping into the tub to get a better look at the knobs staring right back at her. "How...how do you...? What are all these things?" 

Reaching forward, she twisted one curiously—and then shrieked in surprise when icy water came blasting out full force, pouring onto her feet and splashing up her legs. She squealed again, jumping back and nearly slipping, grabbing onto the wall for support. "SPIKE! WHAT DID I DO?! How do I make it STOP?!"

[MorningStar]

I do? What do I know?

In another life Spike might have been good with his words, but not this life. He hadn't even had the proper time to "improve" himself before she was already bringing attention to it - something he decided to pretend he would hear.

But then she screamed.

A wave of frantic concern surged through him, fearing something terrible had transpired in the bathroom. Without a second thought, he rushed in to "rescue" Fang, only to encounter an unexpected obstacle – a slippery pile of dirty clothes she had casually discarded to the floor. His urgency collided with the laws of physics as he promptly slipped on the laundry-induced hazard.

In a spectacular display of misfortune, Spike found himself careening toward the tub. Desperate to regain balance, he reflexively grabbed for the wall, but his flailing attempt at support went awry. Instead of the wall, his hand inadvertently found Fang's shoulder, the intimate contact leading to an unintended, gravity-fueled tango.

The scene unfolded in a whirl of chaos – Spike's back collided with the cold porcelain surface of the tub, his hands grab from something - anything - which lead to Fang being brought down on top of him.

With a wince, he leaned his head back in the tub, eyes closed, completely given up on the situation, and said breathlessly, "turn the other knob."

[Rhindeer]

It all happened so fast, and yet somehow also in slow motion.

The door burst open and in came Spike, practically flying toward her, and Fang yelped for a reason that had nothing to do with cold water.

She didn't have time to react, no time to duck or cover herself before he grabbed her. The world spun, there was a crash as Spike collided with the wall, and then suddenly they were falling, falling, and—thud! Sometime during the chaos she had clenched her eyes shut tight and tensed up, quite prepared for this to end badly, but as she laid there in stunned silence, she realized she was still in one piece, nothing hurt, and she was sprawled upon something soft and yielding instead of cold, hard porcelain.

And still the icy water was rushing into the tub, which was now slowly filling because sometime during the tussle one of them had kicked the stopper.

Disoriented and cold, goosebumps pebbling her skin as she shivered, Fang cracked her eyes open as the cushion beneath her spoke.

A cushion named Spike.

A jolt went through her and she gasped.

"Spike!" Eyes wide with horror, she sat up quickly and looked him over, hands rushing to cup his face and check his head for blood. "Oh no, oh no, are you okay?! Are you hurt? What in Inima's name happened?!" she got out in a rush, for the moment, at least, too distracted to realize...she was kind of straddling him. Naked. With everything on display and all physical signs pointing to the fact that she was freezing.

[MorningStar]

Spike found himself lost in a daze, the embarrassment of what just happened, paired with the ache in his back, stuck firmly in his mind. "I'm fine," he said, disoriented, "I'm-" he cut off, reality crashing in. Her hands gently cradled his face, and as his focus sharpened, he realized the position they were in. Fang was straddling him, her skin reacting to the cold water but still exuding a smooth and teasing allure. The curves of her hips and figure hovered above him, and her full breasts, now just above his chest, cast a spell of mesmerizing proximity.

Spike's expression morphed into a mix of surprise, vulnerability, and desire. Caught in the spellbinding allure, he couldn't restrain himself any longer. "Fang, you... I..." he began to say, but the words dissolved as he abruptly placed a hand on her cheek and initiated a hungry kiss.

[Rhindeer]

What.

What.

WHAT?

One moment, Fang was peering at him in concern, hoping to Inima he hadn't given himself a concussion.

The next, his mouth was on hers—and it was not the chaste kiss of before when they were playing husband and wife. It was needy, hungry, stealing the air from her lungs as the moment hung frozen in time and she forgot what breathing even was.

Her heart raced, a strange flutter made her belly tighten, and the blood rushed to her face despite the freezing cold—a cold she had forgotten even existed.

Oh my goddess, oh my goddess, oh my goddess, Spike was kissing her.

And then...

She was kissing him.

She didn't know when exactly she had started to feel it. She had spent a lifetime ignoring those kinds of feelings because they weren't for her, and she hadn't really been the object of them, cloistered away in the Temple around people she saw as family. Don't get attached, she always told herself, and though sex wasn't forbidden to her if it produced a child, she didn't see the draw. When had she started to see Spike as...more? She had started to look at him more, started to subtly invite his touch more and not shirk it when he got too close, but this? This? Really?

She cupped his face and leaned into him, her own lips soft and uncertain against his own as she really didn't know what she was doing. She was, as she'd admitted before, woefully inexperienced. Finally, though, she pulled away with a shiver, her cheeks flushed as she stared at him with wide green eyes as though surprised at herself.

"Wh...what...what was that for...?" she finally got out breathlessly, a tremble in her voice.

[MorningStar]

Spike found himself in uncharted territory, navigating the complexities of romance, intimacy, sex, and the sheer presence of a woman. A lifetime of training had conditioned him to steer clear of such distractions, deeming them a potential weakness. It was a creed he never questioned, never truly comprehended until now. In Fang's company, he faced a vulnerability that defied his past convictions. Her influence stirred unfamiliar feelings, and he found himself embracing this newfound weakness with a desire to cherish it. The realization dawned on him that the strength of connection and the depth of emotion could be a force more profound than any training could prepare him for.

And then, the kiss was interrupted, and it seemed that Fang was just as "new" at this, just as vulnerable, as he was. His face was hot, but his body was soaking wet from the cold rising water, and his chest was heaving in and out as his heart beat like a drum.

"Because," he whispered, shifting to a more upright position, his chest pressed against hers, "you make me weak." Another breath punctuated the admission, and a hand delicately traced her cheek. "And I can't hold myself back any longer."

Spike reignited the kiss with unrestrained passion, oblivious to the fact that the neglected bathtub, now filled to the brim, spilled over onto the floor in a cascade of water.

[Rhindeer]

The water sloshed over the edge as Spike sat up, but the only thing Fang noticed was his eyes as she peered into them, searching them in wonder and confusion alike as his hand traced her cheek. She made him...weak? Oh. That sounded familiar, she thought as she threw her arms around his neck and melted into him, one hand loosely curling into the hair at his nape.

But before the pieces could click into place, his mouth was on hers again—and goddess, suddenly nothing else mattered. The world stopped as an electric thrill went through her, a little sound of pleasure escaping her that made her face burn all the hotter. This was different, new, unexplored territory that was as scary as it was thrilling—

And yet there was no one she would rather explore it with.

"You...you make me feel things I shouldn't," she murmured against his lips when she came up for air, before giving them an experimental nibble; goddess, why did he taste so good? "We...we shouldn't...I shouldn't..."

It was as though she were trying to convince herself—and she was losing the battle, the protests unconvincing to her own ears, as though she was only saying them just to say she'd tried. 

Inima forgive her, she'd tried.

Her shivering grew a little more violent, the heat building in her core warring with the ice of the tub. She leaned into him, pressed her lips against his ear. "But...I don't care," she whispered. "I...I want this. I—oh!"

She jerked back, staring at the watery mess growing in the room. "The water!" 

[MorningStar]

As Fang's pleading whispers danced into Spike's ears, an electric surge coursed through his body, compelling him to trace the delicate curve of her neck with his lips. Sensation rippled through him, and he felt a noticeable reaction, a sudden stiffness inside his pants. The intoxication continued until her mention of the water snapped him back to reality, prompting a breathy laugh into the warmth of her neck. "The," a kiss on her neck, "water," another on her ear, "right," and he reached behind her to turn off the flow by twisting the knob.

Ever determined, Spike bent his knees, propping himself up, and gracefully rose to his feet. Scooping Fang up in his arms, he carefully stepped out of the tub, water droplets glistening on their entwined bodies. The bedroom welcomed them back, and he gently laid her down on the bed, the plushness providing a luxurious backdrop. With fluidity, Spike removed his shirt, revealing the sculpted contours of his physique in the dim glow of the room, rejoining her on the bed as he began working on his belt.

"I want this too," he whispered into her ear, his hand exploring the wet contours of her naked form. "I want you," he confessed with a breath, and suddenly his pants were kicked to the floor.

[Rhindeer]

Fang's head was a buzz of frantic excitement and nerves all tumbling together, but Spike's lips quieted some of it. A pleasant chill followed the path of his mouth along her neck and she arched into him as his warm breath tickled her skin, her own gasp catching on a whimper when she felt something stiffen and strain between her legs where she was straddling him. Only his clothes separated them, and only the bath water hid the slick heat building between her thighs.

Oh goddess, was this really happening? Were they really doing this?

It hardly felt real.

But it was real enough when he scooped her up, her arms flying around his neck to cling to him, her heart beating so hard it almost hurt. And soon he had laid her on the bed, her hair a wet and disheveled mess, the water soaking into the blankets, but like so many other things that detail had faded into background noise. She watched Spike as he peeled off his shirt, revealing scar and skin she ached to caress, before she trailed a look down his body as he worked his belt—and her breath hitched. Suddenly she felt too vulnerable, too exposed, laying there like that. For some reason it had been easier to forget her own nudity with Spike's body shielding her, as strange as that was, and with a bright blush she started to grab for the covers, ready to shimmy underneath.

Spike was quicker, joining her on the bed, and soon his heat was covering her as his whisper and his hand caressed her skin. A shiver that had nothing to do with the cold went through her, making her squirm, and she swallowed hard when she heard the rustle of fabric and the thump as they hit the floor. Instinctively she looked—and got an eyeful of what those pants had been hiding and what biology texts failed to show.

Gasping, she snapped her eyes back up to his face, her own cheeks flushed, and she desperately sought to hide the small rush of embarrassed panic and insecurity behind a fierce, needy kiss, her hand on the back of his neck to pull him in, her breasts brushing against his bare chest and making the fire within her burn ever brighter.

Oh Inima, what was she doing?! No amount of dirty poetry read in secret or skimmed biology texts had prepared her for flesh and blood reality. Trembling with nerves and desire alike—for this, for him—she broke the kiss to meet his eyes.

"T-tell me what to do," she whispered. "I, um...I'm sorry, I'm not really sure what...I mean, I'm not completely dumb, I've read, er, things, but I've never—" Deep breath, calm down, don't overthink. "I want this to be good for you, too, and I know I won't be the best, but I'd like to try of course!"

[MorningStar]

Spike's face burned with intensity as he leaned over her, fervently seeking solace in her lips, tracing the delicate contours of her neck, and tenderly caressing and kissing her breasts. In the midst of this passionate exchange, he adeptly positioned himself over her, ready to deepen the connection between them. Ready to take her.

"You've read things?" he asked teasingly, his smile carrying a mix of warmth and nerves. "I've read things too. But this? This is.. new.. for me too. Let's do this together."

Drawing close for one final kiss, he eased himself into her, sensing her envelop him with a tight, wet warmth that ignited a yearning ache within him. Acting on instinct, he initiated a rhythmic thrusting motion, one hand on her hip for guidance while the other cradled the side of her face. As the gradual tempo gained momentum, the resounding echo of their skin colliding reverberated against the walls. The intoxicating scent of her and her sex lingering on him heightened his arousal, sending him into a frenzy of desire. His head arched back with a pant, and as his gaze fixed onto hers, a thumb traced her lip, a silent plea for the connection, the intimacy, the present moment that he craved and yearned for.

Was he doing this right? He didn't know. It certainly felt right, and it certainly felt good.

[Rhindeer]

Little whimpers escaped her as he kissed her, first her lips and then her neck and breasts, the feeling lingering like fire even when he withdrew. She was so distracted, so overwhelmed with new sensations and mounting desire, that she hardly noticed him shift his body over hers, her legs spreading instinctively to let him in, until he was speaking.

Fang's breath hitched as she felt his cock settle against her, body tensing with nerves. Her hands caressed up his scarred back to settle tightly on his shoulders, and for a moment she thought he meant to take her right then. Should she tell him to slow down? Her heart was ready, but was her body? But the growing ache between her legs and her racing heart had different ideas, so she only laughed softly, breathlessly at his tease, only pulled him in tighter at his confession. It was surprising to her; he could have had anyone he wanted, but...

In some ways, it was also reassuring that he was just as clueless as she was. "Okay," she murmured, lips brushing against his—right before he locked their mouths together.

And took her.

Fang's sharp cry was muffled against his mouth as he slowly filled her, her body stretching to accommodate him, and she bucked up against him in surprise and dug her nails into his back, which only helped him slide in deeper.

Oh goddess, it hurt. She was slick with arousal, but her tension and smaller body weren't helping—and at the end of the day, it was her first time, and his, with neither of them really knowing what they were doing beyond a surface level. She cried out against him as he began to move, slowly at first, then quicker, harder, and she buried her face against his neck as her moans and whimpers filled the room, some pained, some coming with surprising spikes of pleasure mixed in with the discomfort. Oh Inima, she knew it could be like this, she'd heard from other women that the first time could be painful, but even though she knew that, even though she anticipated it even, she couldn't help but worry—

Was Inima punishing her for wanting him?

No, no, no, it was normal, it was nothing, and what did they say? It got better after that? But even knowing that, it still surprised her, still threw her, but she didn't want Spike to know—he was doing nothing wrong, and she wanted him. For a little bit, she was able to hide it with her face pressed against his shoulder and her mouth muffled against his skin, but then he pulled back.

And traced her lip so tenderly.

And she felt like an utter failure.

She stared up at him, biting her lip hard to keep from whimpering, then turned her face away when she felt her eyes burn with tears.

[MorningStar]

As Spike moved over her, within her, his hands ventured across her body, uncertain yet driven by an unyielding desire to persist. Exploring her legs, hips, stomach, and breasts, his touch lingered.

Mesmerized, he pondered the allure of the human form. What was it about her breasts? Just skin - just big, soft, bouncy skin, yet an irresistible fascination beckoned him to explore further. As an overwhelming urge to taste them took hold, he leaned in, contemplating burying his face in her cleavage. However, his gaze met hers, a sudden realization arresting his movements. His other hand, cradling her face, continued its tender exploration, fingers tracing her lips. The subtle turn of her face beneath his touch signaled his attention as he felt it beneath his palm and..

Was she crying?

Was she in pain?!

Spike jolted off her like a cat on a hot tin roof, somersaulting to the floor in a slapstick display of agility. Bouncing back up, he dashed to the side of the bed, where her teary gaze was fixed. Somewhere in his hurried stride, he managed to trip over something but recovered with flourish, resuming his worried stance.

"Fang! Are you okay? Any you injured?" he blurted out, his hands cupping her cheeks in a way that screamed 'overly dramatic concern.' "What happened? Did I hurt you? Was I bad at it?!"