The change in his expression was instantaneous—and it gave her the answer before his words did. The regret, the fear, the confusion. He would have had to be a spectacular actor to pull off so many expressions in such a short time, and so convincingly on top of it—and while he was very skilled in a number of areas, Fang somehow doubted his skill there.
Did he...really not understand?
She had desperately hoped she was reading the situation wrong. Hadn't he defended her when Echen had thrown that word in her face? He had nearly slit his throat for that! And there was not one instance, not a single moment in time, when he had ever made her feel lesser. There was not a single moment where he made her feel disrespected or unsafe. When she looked at Spike she saw, and felt, security and affection—and that was why it hurt so, so much.
And yet, deep down, as much as Fang tried to ignore it...insecurity had taken root. The words had stung. The looks had stung. She had been assaulted for it. And though she had made a noble effort to hide it, she was afraid of what people thought of her, and always had been, especially here in a foreign land where she knew she would be judged.
And then...last night happened. And this morning. She indulged in pleasure for pleasure's sake with a Serenian man. More insecurity. More guilt. It all compounded, bubbling under the surface, and no matter how hard she pressed the lid down...eventually the pressure made it boil over.
The coin on the counter had done it. But. His eyes and words were telling a different story?
"No, Fang, I love—"
He cut off. What? He loved what? But then he continued, clarifying...and Fang visibly relaxed, some of the tension easing out of her shoulders as the hurt softened to hope. And then, taking her by surprise once more, he dropped to one knee and took her hand as he begged forgiveness.
That drew the attention of several onlookers who gasped and turned to watch the "proposal", some scandalized, some vibrating with excitement or jealousy or wistfulness over such a romantic display. If they had been nearer, however, they might have noticed that the couple's facial expressions did not match the scene.
Fortunately for Spike, Fang was completely oblivious to the cultural significance. She startled, but only because she hadn't expected him to practically prostrate himself. She gave a quick glance around, hyper-aware of the stares, and gave his hand a little upward tug.
"Of course I forgive you," she whispered. "I...I believe you. I'm just...I'm sorry, I'm a little confused. Ah, get up, Spike, people are staring..."
Biting her lip, gathering her thoughts, she let out a sigh and worried at a lock of her hair, twisting and untwisting it around her finger anxiously. "Why did you throw money on the counter as we left, then? You'd already paid for the room the night before." She shifted her eyes away. "It...it made me think you were paying for...having me."
