A noble's pain (open)

[Anonymous]

'There was something....something red. A shirt? Nah nah nah. Not a shirt. It was a necklace. That's right, yeah. A red ruby necklace. Shaped like a heart and on a very long silver chain. That's what he had given her for her 'birthday'. Tennamar had always been one of her favorite past lovers, though she didn't remember much of him. It was almost as if she remembered him from a good book she had read long ago. That was how most of her memories of her past lives were. She knew that she had lived them, but most of the time it didn't seem like it was. Tennamar and her had never went as far as marriage, she remembered. Something had happened that prevented it. What was it again? She use to know, in her last life she knew. Oh wait, that's right. She was killed by an assassin. After so many deaths it no longer bothered her that she could remember dying.'[/color]

Hatshepsut was broken out of her memories by someone coming up to her and saying hello. She said 'hi' politely back, but it was without emotion or feeling. There was a glass of wine in her hand, she realized and so took a drink of it. The cool liquid danced on her tongue before she swallowed it. Thank the gods for alcohol, sometimes it was the only thing that kept her calm during these long balls that was held at the castle every so often. Being the noble woman that she was, she felt required to go to them though she would have rather been at home or helping in the orphanage. She would have to deal with it for now and besides, she looked radiant. She was wearing one of her better dresses, a beautiful mahogany and gold assemble that favored her nicely shaped body. It was modest though and covered all of her skin and even sported a high neck. The colors went very well with her light gray skin and the darker markings that showed on her face and hands.

Her bright pink eyes roamed around the room, looking at everything and nothing. She couldn't even remember why this ball had been thrown. Perhaps a marriage of some noble couple or another? She didn't really care, she just wanted to do her part which was show up and then leave. Somehow though, she had slipped into thinking about one of her past lives and had lost track of the time. She'd yet to really mingle and figured she should do so before she could take her leave of this place. The small orchestra was starting to play now and pairs were moving out onto the ballroom floor for dancing. Oh how she loved to dance, but there was never anyone for her to dance with. People seemed almost intimidated by her, especially if they knew of her many lives. There was always next time for dancing. She started walking around the room and speaking to people, it wouldn't do for her to appear rude.

[Anonymous]

Bronwen, too, felt out of place at the ball. There was no one for her to dance with, either. But unlike Hatshepsut, she didn't care if she appeared rude. She was too upset to care. The music and dancing were bringing back memories of the ball where she and Cadfan had met, and she had tears rolling down her cheeks as she realized that it didn't really matter what she did, she would never forget him. Perhaps it would have been better for her to leave, but she had promised her father she would go, if only for a little while. Earlier that day, she had been quite angry.

"Elian will get your estate when you die, so what does that leave me, father? Cadfan is dead, and though it is not my own fault, I am no longer a virgin, either. I may as well be garbage, at least here."

"I know, Bronwen," her father had said, keenly aware of the attitudes of the majority of men when it came to marrying a girl who had been raped, "but we've just got to try to find you someone. Otherwise, you are useless to me."

He hadn't meant useless as a daughter. Bronwen knew that. How could he, when it was she who had sat by him when he had a cold and rubbed his head with a cold cloth to keep the fever down last week? He had meant that she was useless to him as a nobleman who wanted to forge an alliance with another noble family. Still, it had stung. And that was why, even though she personally thought that to find a good man, she needed to get out of Serendipity, where the memories of Cadfan haunted her, she had stayed and agreed to go to this ball. But beyond tonight, Bronwen didn't know at the moment where her future would lead her.

[Anonymous]

Hatshepsut had talked to many people now and she was actually starting to enjoy herself some. She always forgot how much she enjoyed talking to some of her fellow nobles. There were a few that she couldn't stand to be around. The really snobbish, better-than-you nobles that would rather spit on your face than say hello. She wished all those nobles would jump off a cliff, but alas that was not going to happen. Thankfully there were more nobles that were decent people that she enjoyed being around.

She was making her way over to talk to one of the noble women that she was better friends with, when she noticed a very sad looking girl sitting off by herself. Hatshepsut just couldn't stand to see anyone sad, especially not such a pretty young thing like that. She switched her direction and headed over to the sad girl. She didn't recognize her, probably one of the daughters of a nobleman here. She sure didn't seem enthused to be here, hopefully Hatshepsut could cheer her up some. "Hello there. I couldn't help but notice how sad you looked. Is there anything I can do to help?"

[Anonymous]

"I don't know if there's anything anyone can do," sniffled Bronwen. "But you may try. First things first. I'm Bronwen Fyeffion, daughter of Lord Evan Fyeffion. When I was fifteen, I fell in love with a fellow noble, Lord Cadfan Seamus. But two years later, on the day before we were to be married, he went swimming and was drowned. Not long after that, my father tried to arrange a marriage for me, but the young man was so enamored with my beauty that he decided to take my virginity. Defenseless, I was raped. My father apologized for his error in judgement and realized that as vulnerable as I  had become, the choice of who to marry should be up to me, since I had chosen so well the first time. But even he admits that he's getting a little desperate to forge an alliance with some noble family. He said that if I did not wed, I was useless to him, so I agreed to go to this ball. But I'm not having a very good time because it was at a ball just like this that I met Cadfan."

[Anonymous]

Hatshepsut listened intently as the young woman explained her problems to her. "It is a pleasure to meet you Bronwen Fyeffion. My name is Hatshepsut Kiwat, I have been a noble woman for many many generations." She said to her kindly. Hatshepsut had heard of the name Cadfan Seamus and knew of his family. Living as long as she had she knew practically every noble family that there was and even some that were no longer.

"I heard when it happened and attended his wake, though you probably do not remember seeing me there." She said sympathetically. It had been a very tragic accident and at such a horrible time. She remember seeing Bronwen at the wake and how extremely sad she was. It wasn't usual for a daughter of a nobleman to marry a man she actually loved. Hatshepsut was lucky, she no longer had to marry to keep her wealth going. Her 'family' had been around so long she had the pleasure of being able to do whatever she wished.

A small fire of anger welled up in the pit of her stomach. She hated men who thought they could take what they wanted, when they wanted it. In all her life times, mainly the earliest ones, she had been raped on a few occasions. It was not something one forgot about so easily, so it had to be even more horrible for Bronwen who did not have the pleasure of being able to live another life and forgetting the ordeal. Now she could really understand the poor girl's problem. For a girl in a noble family her job was to be married to another family that would be profitable. It was hard on a regular basis, but trying to marry off a girl that had already had her virginity taken was much harder.

Though her fathers word were harsh, she understood perfectly what he meant and it seemed as if Bronwen did as well. "I'm so sorry for you, my dear. You are very courageous to even be here today." She said, laying a comforting arm on Bronwen's shoulders. Her mind started working then, she wanted to help this poor girl, but she wasn't exactly sure how. Then it hit her, "I know we just met and all, but I am a fairly powerful noblewoman who knows quite a lot of people. What if I helped you find a husband? I good husband, one that doesn't care about such trivial things. Besides it wasn't your fault you were raped, why should you be the one to pay for it?"

As odd as it was, Hatshepsut was still a virgin herself, but she knew what sex was like. Another one of the odd side effects of dying, but never staying dead. She had yet to be married this life time or even have a boyfriend. In fact she wasn't interested in men yet, she was still young. So technically she was still a virgin, but in her past lives she had been married and had slept with men. From those lives she remembers what sex is like even without having it yet.

(sorry. I got a bit carried away.)

[Anonymous]

(OOC: Nah, I like long posts!)

"Hatshepsut Kawit. I don't think I remember seeing you before, but it is nice to know you were there at Cadfan's funeral." Somehow, that comforted Bronwen and didn't make seeing a new face so strange. "I miss him so much. It's hard. He would have taken me no matter what happened, I know he would have, and now, well, look at me." It was difficult not to burst into tears again. Bronwen knew she must be a mess after sitting here crying all night.

Bronwen listened to Hatshepsut's words, but they didn't really sink in until she'd had a little time to calm down. "You... you think I'm brave for being here? Well, thank you, but I didn't really feel that I had a choice."

Hatshepsut's next words were almost enough to make her eyes pop out of her head, though.

"Everyone always says how sorry they are, but no one's ever actually offered to help me until now. You're sure you wouldn't mind? I'd love your help. It will placate my father, for sure, and who knows, if I find love in the process, I could be off his hands quite soon. Thank you for offering."

[Anonymous]

"Shush now, love. No need for tears. You are very brave for coming here. Especially being so young." Hatshepsut said, brushing Bronwen's beautiful blond hair with her hand. She felt so sorry for the poor thing. She knew what it was like to be in a bad situation, so she was going to do everything she could to make things better for her.

This new goal in her life made Hatshepsut a little less depressed. Lately she had been feeling very...tired. Tired of life itself, though she knew that dying would solve nothing, she'd just come back to life again in another young body. At least now she had something to occupy her time and who knows, perhaps she'd find her own love eventually.

"Of course I wouldn't mind. I want to help you. In fact I might know of someone off the bat. I'll have to talk to his family first of course." She said in a hopeful voice.

[Anonymous]

Bronwen tried to stop crying, but she couldn't help it. Hatshepsut was being so nice, and her gentle stroking of her hair reminded Bronwen that she had never had a mother to stroke her hair. What would Bronwen's deceased mother have said if she knew that her daughter had been violated?

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "If your family has been around for generations, then perhaps some of them would know that my mother died right after I was born. I don't have a mother...and it's my own fault because my birth killed her... and you're so nice...and it makes me wonder if my own mother would have said the same things you are saying now."

When she finally managed to stop crying, though, Bronwen looked at Hatshepsut with hope in her eyes. "You know someone already? Is he here?"

[Anonymous]

Hatshepsut laughed softly, "I do remember that sweetie, but I'm the only one in my family. It's been that way for generations. Except the few times I've decided to marry into another family, but for the most part I've kept the Kawit name." She explained and hoped that it didn't confuse the girl. She didn't need to be confused right now. "Shush now, none of that. Child birth is very dangerous in and of itself. Do not think it's your fault. Your mother loved you very much and she would do anything within her power to make you feel better." Through her many lives, Hatshepsut had yet to experience the joys and horrors of childbirth or raising children. She did want to, but so far she had had no reason to. In truth she was a little afraid to have kids, it was the one and only thing that made her nervous. Perhaps this life would be the one where she'd finally have a child of her own. She'd have to find a husband first.

She quickly scanned the room to see if the young man she was thinking of was here. Ah, over in the corner of the room she saw him with a few of his peers. "Yes, he is here. Let me go get him. You stay right here and don't you fret." Hatshepsut said as she patted Bronwen on the hand, then she walked over to where the young man was. She quickly explained to the young man what was going on and then led him back over to Bronwen.

He was a very attractive young man with blue black hair and a fairly well shaped body. "Bronwen Fyeffion, I'd like for you to meet Gideon Caradoc." She said introducing him. She really hoped that the two of them would hit it off.

[Anonymous]

Bronwen wiped her eyes, then studied the young man Hatshepsut had led her way. For lack of a better word, he was beautiful. He had the most captivating eyes she had ever seen, which were green like a pine tree, and his hair was so black it was almost blue. His body was also nicely shaped. She tried not to act as if she'd been crying. She hoped her voice didn't show how upset she'd been earlier.

"Hello," she whispered shyly. (How could a woman who had been raped be anything but shy?) "It's nice to meet you, Gideon."

[Anonymous]

Gideon was a bit confused to say the least. He was use to his mother going around at balls trying to find suitable women for him to marry. Normally though all the women she found had something about them that just made them undesirable. He remembered one in particular. The lady was very beautiful, but she was also very stuck on herself. Gideon did not find her suitable in the least. However he had never been approach by another noblewoman saying she wanted him to meet a lady. The fact that it was Lady Hatshepsut only made it weirder.

Gideon had always been intrigued by Lady Hatshepsut and had even entertained the notion of the two of them being together. She was young, but something about her was so ancient as well. Her beauty was what really intrigued him. Her light gray skin with odd tribal markings and those stunning pink eyes captivated him. Something told him though that Lady Hatshepsut and him would never work out, so he kept his fantasies as just fantasies.

He happily followed Hatshepsut to this woman she wanted him to meet. Lady Bronwen was a very pretty thing with lovely blond hair. She had to be around his age he assumed. She appeared to be very sad for some reason which struck a soft spot with Gideon. He took one of Lady Bronwen's hands and bent down to lay a tender kiss on the top of it. "The pleasure is all mine, Lady Bronwen." He spoke with a bit of an accent (think british), his family had sent him to spend a few years as a child in another country where he picked up that accent from. For some reason he'd never been able to loose it.

[Anonymous]

Bronwen's heart pounded when he kissed her hand. Cadfan had never done that, on their first meeting anyway, and he had certainly never had an accent. If he had, Bronwen would have been even more in love with him than she was, but now, for this man she had just met, these characteristicsmade Bronwen's heart skip a beat, and endeared Gideon to her right away.

"Where do you hail from, Lord Gideon, and why have I not seen you before?" she wanted to know. "I'm from... here..." she said lamely. Bronwen was clearly inexperienced, not having had to date for almost four years.

[Anonymous]

Hatshepsut could tell that the girl was already interested in Lord Gideon. That was a good sign and a small smile crept over her face. At least she had seemed to help Bronwen a little. That at least made her feel a little better. Maybe things would really work out for these two. It would be beneficial for them both. She needed to be married for her father's sake and he needed to be married for his own sake, plus it wouldn't hurt if the two of them actually fell in love.

"Perhaps I should let the two of you get better aquainted. I'll be around if you need me darling." Hatshepsut said giving Bronwen a pat on the shoulder and then gave Gideon a little nudge with her elbow and a wink before walking off to get something to drink. They didn't need her there, listening to everything they said.

"Thank you Lady Hatshepsut." Gideon said politely, winking back. "Me? Well I was born here, but I spent a lot of time in a small nation way to the south as a child. Which is where this awful accent is from, I just can't seem to get rid of it. Though most people say they like it. I think they are just being nice. Let us get something to drink and then we can find a quiet corner to sit and talk in." He said, taking her by the arm and escorting her to the drink table. "I'm not sure why we have never met. I know I would remember someone as strikingly beautiful such as yourself, Lady Bronwen." Gideon was a gentleman through and through and a noble one at that.

[Anonymous]

Bronwen blushed. "Thank you for thinking I'm beautiful. I mean, I never thought someone would say that and mean it nicely again after... well never mind." Bronwen's eyes clouded a bit more, but she followed him to the refreshment table. "As for your accent, my lord, it is not horrible. Why, I would think myself that it would be just the thing to win a lady. Most women I know simply flip for that kind of thing." Bronwen hoped he could not hear her heart beating as she said this. It was so loud in her own ears! She went to get some light punch (not being the kind of girl to drink alcohol unless it was an emergency) and then waited for him to find a quiet spot where they could talk.

[Anonymous]

"No need for thanks, m'lady. I never say anything I do not mean." He said again giving her a very warm smile. He could tell she was a very sweet girl, perhaps a bit naive, but then again maybe not. She just seemed so innocent to him. He grabbed himself a glass of wine and then led them to a quiet corner, but one that was still in plain view of all so it would not cause vicious rumors. He would feel very bad if something he did would spread slanderous talk about this woman he just met.

He giggled a bit at what she said about his accent. "Well I thank you for the comment, most of my friends find it pretty funny though. Of course they are not women flipping over me either. Not that I have many girls 'flipping' over me as you say. Please though, what was you going to say?" He asked, noticing that she had left off in the middle of her sentence.

[Anonymous]

(OOC: I'm going to have the (NPC) rapist show up in a couple of posts and they can take it outside. ;))

His voice was so gentle that Bronwen felt she had to answer him.  She had to whisper, though, so that no one would know this secret but she and Gideon.
"I thought that no one would ever say I was beautiful and mean it nicely again, after..." Bronwen took a deep breath. "After the rape..." She looked at the ground. "You see, I don't know if Lady Hatshepsut has told you, but when I was fifteen, I fell in love with a young man who I would have married if he had not drowned when I was seventeen. Not long after my fiance died, my father tried to arrange a marriage for me, but the young man raped me instead. Now my father is so desperate to marry me off that he sent me here." She quietly started to cry again. It just wasn't fair. Here was a young man who might turn out to be perfect for her, and he had asked for her secret almost right away.

If Bronwen might have been able to see her future, she would not have worried so much, but when Cadfan died, her magic had died, too.

[Anonymous]

Gideon, though a gentleman, was like most men and did not know what to do with a crying girl. At first he sat there and just looked at her while listening politely. He did not expect Bronwen was going to tell him that she had been raped by a betrothed. "I'm so sorry, m'lady. I had no idea..." he said, rather lamely patting her on the shoulder. A part of him was very enraged that any man would take advantage of such a lovely young woman. It was tragic indeed, but he couldn't say he knew exactly how she felt. Being a male himself he didn't have to worry about such things.

"I'm sure that was terrible for you. No man should force himself on a woman, not even if she is his intended. Just because a noblewoman's place if normally to be married to best suitor that doesn't mean they are possessions to be used however the man wants." He stated, getting a bit preachy. He did understand her father's side. She was his daughter and it was his duty to find her a husband that would better both families. Is that what Lady Hatshepsut had in mind then? She needed to be wed and so did he, so he would see where she would think of him.

He couldn't say the thought bothered him. Of course he wanted to know Bronwen a little better first and of course both families would have to agree to the arrangement. He would have been a liar if he said that her not being a virgin didn't bother him. For a nobleman it was a privilege and a right to have a virgin bride. So he could see why she had not been married yet. It wasn't her fault though and he would never hold it against her. "Do not cry m'lady. It's breaking my heart to see you upset. You'll be married and soon I'm sure." He said, trying to calm her down. Where was Hatshepsut when he needed her?

(sounds good to me. Want Gideon to challenge him to a duel? ^_^)

[Anonymous]

(OOC: Yep! Here he comes!)

"It's not just that," said Bronwen, still sniffling. "I would like to marry someone that I love, or at least someone that I have hope of loving. Do you know how hard that's going to be? To find someone who would be willing not only to marry me, but to love me with all of their being? I already found someone like that once, but he's gone. And though I know that I deserve to be loved, regardless of the loss of my virginity, to find someone like that twice seems impossible." She wiped her eyes and looked at Gideon dejectedly to see what he thought of that. But there was even more she hadn't told him, because it wasn't the kind of thing you told someone you were just getting to know.  She hadn't told him that the person who raped her was still after her. Perhaps she should have told him, but without her magic working, Bronwen could not have seen what was going to happen next.

"Loss of your virginity?" piped up someone's voice. "Hah, I was merely staking my claim to you, my love. We would have been married anyway. And although your father and his guards kept me from taking your life when you tried to escape, they're not here now, are they, Bronwen Fyeffion?"

Bronwen was at first confused. "No," she said to the voice," almost not realizing that it was him. It couldn't be him. What would he be doing here? The last time she had seen twenty-five year old Arthur Mortimer, her father had barked at him that he was no longer allowed near her.  Then she thought about it. He was a nobleman, just like everyone else here. Why wouldn't he be here after all?

She went dead white.

"Don't fill this young man's head with lies," Arthur continued to whisper, right by her ear. How had he gotten right by her ear without her noticing?  "You know you want me. You've wanted me since Cadfan Seamus died, or rather, since I killed him to get to you. That's right, I killed him, and I'm not afraid to admit it. And do you know why? Because no one cares, Bronwen. No one cares about it, and no one cares about you.  You've wanted me for years, and I'm the only one who'll have you anyway. You're useless now, Bronwen. A worthless throwaway that only a brothel would take. "

It was true that at one time, Bronwen had been friends with Arthur, but that was a long time ago, before she and Cadfan had even met. And while she had struggled for a time over which one she should choose, when Cadfan whispered his words of love in her ear, she knew he meant them. But while Arthur was a nice young man (or had been), he was not the best at being romantic. Cadfan had won her heart, fair and square.
Why couldn't Arthur get over that? Instead, once Cadfan was dead, he'd tried to take her for himself, the only way he knew how, even though he knew he'd be getting her as his wife anyway.

And now he might take her again, but this time she might not come back alive.

Bronwen felt like an idiot, but there was no time. There was barely even time to explain to Gideon who it was.

"This is Arthur Mortimer. He's the person who-"

No more words would come out, even though Bronwen was still moving her lips.

She tried to scream for help...for Hatshepsut...for anyone.
But she couldn't even make noise anymore; that was how scared she was. She could only hope beyond hope that someone would understand what was going on as Bronwen toppled out of her chair and everything around her went black.

[Anonymous]

"I understand that perfectly. I mean marriage for us nobles is suppose to also better our families, but it doesn't hurt if we actually care for the people we are to marry either. I know you'll find that one day. Don't worry about it." Gideon said trying to cheer her up some more.

After he had said that some man came up to them. Immediately Gideon could tell that the man was not a very honorable gentleman. Then when he started speaking Gideon could feel his face grow hot from anger. Who did this young pup think he was to dishonor a noble lady as such? Putting an end to the conversation and to stick up for Bronwen's honor, Gideon stood up and moved in between them.

"I suggest, sir, that you apologize now. Or I will be forced to call insult by you towards this fair maiden." Gideon, like most noblemen, wore a dress dagger on his belt. His hand went to lay on the top of the hilt to show this Arthur that he meant business.

Hatshepsut had saw Bronwen go pale white when a man she didn't recognize walk up to the two of them. She had been keeping an eye on Gideon and her from a distance, but when this new stranger started approaching she headed over to see what was up. Hatshepsut had only managed to hear the last part of the conversation and Gideon's call of insult. "I back Sir Gideon's call of insult. Apologize or measures will be taken." She said going to stand by Bronwen.

[Anonymous]

"You don't know who you're dealing with," Arthur warned, and he too put his hand on his sword. "Furthermore, I don't even know who you are, but you don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't insulting her. I was telling the truth. Let's make this interesting. If you want to protect her that badly, I will challenge you to a duel. Winner has permission to court said young lady, whether she likes it or not."

Bronwen, who now lay on the floor after fainting, came to after a minute and tried to get up. She was still deathly pale, but she wanted to get out of here so she wouldn't have to be around Arthur anymore. But she was too weak to do anything other than raise her head. Someone would have to help her to where she could get some air. She started to cry quietly, not even noticing that Hatshepsut was there. All she could think was that there was probably no way anyone could beat Arthur Mortimer in a duel.