Sazha was in immense pain, as she crawled across the ground towards lucian and then scooped up. He didnt listen to her. He had scooped her up and started running, which now had endangered hs life. She couldnt believe it. Even though he could have died, he didnt leve her behind, and had rescued her from her primary tormentor in her life. The forest was blurry now. The amount of punishment she had taken at the hands of the slaver and torturer had taken it's toll, and her vision becme blurry, her head becoming light.
But , the fresh burns on her back, the fresh lashes from the whipp, were forcing her to remain concious. the immense pain of each movement of her carrier's body causing the muscles in her back to move beneath the wounds, ached groans and whimpers of pain escaping her lips. She was starting to heal up, form her earlier wounds from the battle with the goblins nd ogres, except the organ damage. the magic had done enough tissue damage to slow it to a crawl,. As for the wounds from the whip, it was designed to hinder healing factors, and the wounds on her back were not healing. A feeling of uselessness washed over Sazha.
I am useless...useless and broken...i couldnt even fight that bastard...i was so afraid, so full of fear, that i let it control me! ME! I am not supposed to fear. fear is a weakness! ....i guess thats why im going to die...i showed a weakness and now the universe is finally going to make me pay for everything...my weakness, my fear, will be my death.Within her mind, alongside this inner monologue, her emotions were showing through, and over the connection between her and lucian, who ahd probably heard her thoughts as well. The first feeling was disgust. Disgust at herself and how weakshe was, how very frail, weak, and pathetic she
was.It disgusted her that she had been afraid. She had been trained and disciplined to not feel fear. and never before had she given into it. Why? Why now did she give into her fear at that moment?
The next feeling that washed over her, was hopelessness. She had to be saved by someone. With all her powers and abilities, she still needed to be saved. Had she gone soft in her months of traveling and whistful wandering? What had allowed her to become so weak that she had been beaten by the one man she truly WANTED to kill? She began to think. to run things thoruhg her mind. She WAS hopeless. she had slipped up. she had allowed herself to be put intoa position in which she had to be saved. She was no longer independent and strong. she ws weak, and hopeless, pathetic.
at this realization, tears began to fall from her eyes, and she sniffled, between pained groans. She was a broken, useless tool now, in her mind. Maimed and injured and unable to protect someone she had grown attached too.What use was she? How could she possibly be able to help Lucian, if she were a broken tool? She couldn't. Broken tools were not used. They were thrown away and replaced. She knew this was a fundamental truth. She began to now, give up.
Give up on trying to breathe, trying to stay concious. She began to go limp. Her emotions and feeling would wsh over lucian, as she began to let go. she hoped that maybe, he wouldnt be bothered if she passed.
Lucian...im useless now...i hope...that you will not cast me away and just leave my body int he forest...please..at least bury me...She was fully convinced that her only option was death. and she slowly began to allow herslef to accept it.
