Spirits of the Earth

Even thus far their journey had been far more difficult than he had ever imagined at the onset. Just a few months ago he had bid farewell to his sister back in Ketra and left his homeland for the first time in quite a number of years. Along the way he had realized it was a much-needed change; the world held so much more for him outside the borders of Adela.

It had given him a chance to see sights and observe the people of different lands, but what he'd enjoyed the most was the time he had gotten to spend with Tiraris. While certainly a challenge to accomodate both of their personalities in a single space, they'd been managing to make it work so far. Even with the outbursts they'd had.

Outbursts was almost a mild term in this. It had been frustrating to say the least, to have disappointment at every turn of their true quest right now. Finding a teacher, a mentor for his beloved Tiraris was proving to be seem nearly impossible, but Caden wasn't a quitter, he never had been.

Being supportive was all he could do most days. Tiring as it was, he wouldn't trade all of their time together for the world. He had finally found someone who he knew he was meant to spend the rest of a life together with. She was his other half in so many ways.

The unmasked adoration in his violet eyes shone brightly for her day and night, unchanging even through their seemingly endless trials of rising and then dashed hopes. Over several months they had been through so many mages and healers of all kinds that Caden was beginning to realize firsthand how rare and powerful her magic was.

Now, they were on their way to follow yet another lead, a man they had heard lived in seclusion here in these never-ending hills, a man with some truly special powers of his own. As all the others, he held hope that this could be the one. He wouldn't deny, though, that it felt like a lot of time had been wasted thus far. Still, every so often they had found someone promising but not trained in what they required, and he couldn't help but wonder if the man they sought now might be as well.

Looking to Tiraris, the demon nudged her gently with his shoulder now. "Think this is the one?" he asked cautiously, violet eyes flickering to focus steadily on her face.

Tiraris glanced over to Caden taking in his hopeful expression. 'No Caden. This will not be the one either. But, I am not giving up. I am doing this for you.' She playfully nudged him back harder, a soft smile gracing her lips. "Why?" she teased. "Am I not one enough for you?"

Since they had begun their journey, Tiraris had tried to be more open with Caden. It was still very difficult to let him in. Even with this that was so important to them, she struggled to let him see that she was losing hope. She continued a facade that everything was good and happy between them. But in truth, she was losing control. Each argument, each squabble, each new "teacher" was a testament to her struggle not to lose herself.

Since the night she had told him she was staying, she had tried to become something else. All she managed to do was put on a new mask. Tiraris had never been a big talker or a very happy person. Being with Caden, required such things. Each day was a new day to try. She just hoped that at day's end they would still be together and alive.

Looking ahead of them, Tiraris noticed a tavern. "Want a drink? I want a drink," she told him heading off. 'Gods above, I need one!'

Seizing her hand, he leaned close to give a quick peck on her cheek. "You're all I'll ever want," he answered simply, keeping hold of her hand as they continued on. He got the sense that something was bothering her, though. The way she looked at him now had him feeling like there was something there, something different, but he just couldn't pinpoint it at all.

Is she angry? Is something wrong? Is she hurting? Caden couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he was definitely well aware that there was something on her mind.

As she pulled away to walk ahead, though, he just rolled his eyes at the thought of getting a drink. "Hmm, you don't need it, do you? I can think of a few other things to take the edge off, you know," he said as he got himself back at her side, a hand slipping slyly about her waist and knowing full well he wasn't likely to get very far with it, as always. "Sitting at a bar...amongst all those drunken men and all that noise... so many other ways we could spend our time together, don't you think?"

"Why Caden! Are afraid that your girl is going to drink you under the table? How much does it take a Neqa'el to get drunk anyway?" The gauntlet had been tossed, now it was just a matter of whether Caden would accept the challenge or not.

'I need another job. My very bones are aching for one. If I do not kill something soon, Caden will be next. I cannot afford to lose control. I will not hurt him! I have done enough of that already.'

"It is a bit of tradition for me to come here," she told him nodding to the tavern. "The Dirty Mug and I go way back. They have the strongest liqueur you will ever find. Although Rouge Lizard's Grogshop in Jadenshire comes as a close second. This place is better for people like us though. They cater to stronger stomaches." She winked opening the door and heading to the bar.

'You mean people like you Tiraris. Cutthroat, blood-monger assassin that you are. At least I can pick up a job while I am here. If I can get Caden knocked out I will be in the clear. Better he does not know about this.'

"The strongest, you say? Very interesting... This is going to be a long night if you're aiming to get me drunk, Tiraris," he told her, thoroughly amused by the idea and having a chance to see her relax a bit more as well. "Let's do it, then," he whispered at her ear, slipping his arm away as he followed her inside.

His eyes flickered around the room as they walked. He tensed as he realized that most of the men here were openly staring at her. It took a lot of strength to not openly hiss, but he felt a rumbling growl building as he moved up to follow closer to assert himself as being with her. Violet eyes screamed his growing irritations, a hand coming protectively up to the small of her back as he met pair after pair of eyes. They're staring at her! They're looking at her! Like that! She's mine! Nobody's allowed to look at her that way! I know she's sexy, dammit! She's mine! MINE!

Eyes narrowed dangerously now, Caden pouted as he sat down beside her. "I don't like this place," he grumbled childishly. "Too crowded...

"You know what? You're right. We both need a drink," he said with a sigh as he shifted his gaze to try and catch the barkeep's eye.

Tiraris ignored the wandering eyes of the other patrons. She was more than used to it by now but, listening to Caden she could tell from his growling that he was not. "Behave!" she crooned warningly in his ear. Removing her cloak, she kissed his cheek in appeasement before leaning over the counter.

Wolf-whistles sounded around the room at her displayed rump. Glancing out of the corner of her eye at Caden, she wiggled it slightly to get his reaction as she continued reaching for a bottle of her own special drink and a mug. Slowly straightening with her prizes, she poured Caden a mugful while watching him coyly through her lashes. Pushing the mug towards him, she took a swig straight from the bottle exposing her milky throat. The alcohol left a sweet taste on her tongue but burned all the way down.

Licking her lips she explained about the particular brew. "You see Caden when I said the tavern and I go way back, I meant it. This," she raised the bottle at him, "is made specifically for me. It is a very potent combination of honey, rum, and whiskey, among other things. Gives you one hell of a kick." Eyes twinkling, she shot back another mouthful to the catcalls and amusement of the room.

Every little move she made was carefully watched, those bright eyes still occasionally flickering to glare protectively over her shoulder at the others around the room. No, he didn't like this at all.

His growl didn't quiet at all and only seemed to intensify with each additional observation. Watching her, his brow furrowed in a mixture of 'how could you do this to me?!' and blatant anger at the other people around them. Even as she pushed the mug closer he took it with a tense fist. Reluctantly, he sipped at it, but his mind wasn't on drinking right now. "Popular, aren't ya?" he said coldly as he downed the rest of the mug's contents.

Irritated, Caden set the mug down and snatched her up around her waist, pulling her up onto his lap as he turned to trap her between the bar counter and himself. Arm coiled tightly around her, he lowered his lips to her ear. "Mine ...you're such a flirt."

Tiraris knew she was pushing the limit, but she could not bring herself to stop. Old habits died hard and she was having fun. She smirked as Caden yanked her onto his lap. Just as she was about to reply to him she felt a tug on her hair. Leaning backwards onto the counter she looked upside-down at the person who had done it.

A pair of lips pressed briefly against her own before pulling away again. "Hello Nymph. Haven't seen ya here ina long time. Where ya been? I can see you have already found ya drink, or rather I can taste it," the youthful brogue voice of the bartender said. "Who's Mr. Possessive?" he smirked at Caden.

Still upside-down she replied, "I have been here and there and now I am back." Tiraris felt a little guilty. A kiss that had always been a normal greeting between the two of them now seemed very wrong. Her fun spirit was fading; this mask was not one she wanted to wear again. 'His kisses are nothing like Caden's!' She sat back up properly and took a small sip of her drink. 'Gods above I am a fool! How can Caden love me when I act like this?'

"Well Nymph, I'll leave ya to ya genteelman. Your usual accommodations are available. You know the rules," he told her. Behind her back he gave Caden a leering look of approval before moving on to help the next customer. Tiraris hung her head and moved to get off Caden's lap, bottle still in hand.

Feeling the presence behind her, Caden had looked up just as Tiraris leaned back to look at the man across the bar. Frowning very obviously, he hugged her closer for a moment as he watched them. Seeing him kiss her, fleeting as it was, immediately launched him into a frenzy. Tiraris being between them was the only thing that stopped him from doing something right then and there.

At first he tried to play it cool, let her have her fun, but he scowled for the smirk he was getting. No, he didn't like this guy at all. Caden felt himself beginning to lose it. His hands felt boiling hot as he trembled between human and demon. His fangs were already there, sharp and ready to attack. His eyes had taken on such an animalistic glow.

He was too comfortable with her, far too comfortable. The way he just came up even with them being like they were, the way he kissed her like he wasn't there, the way he talked grated at his every nerve, even if he did know her. And that look he gave? That was it. Finally, he snapped.

Even as Tiraris moved to get off of him he was rising quickly to his feet, dumping her off his lap and letting loose a feral snarl. Without another thought he'd scrambled up and over the bar, snatching the man up by his shirt. Nostrils flared with rage as he struggled to keep his claws from surfacing, the feel of them pushing sharp points to his flesh from the inside almost unbearably, torturously painful in its own right.

"Fucking bastard!" he roared, shoving the man back against bottles along the wall. "Who said you could touch her?!" Raising the man high for a moment, his eyes flickered with thoughts of murder and just how many pieces he could tear him into.

Her eyes flashed as Tiraris heard Caden's growl. She was torn between helping the bartender and just watching. As she moved to step up to the pair she was stopped by a hand on her arm and a voice in her ear. "You Silverd'art? Gots a job for ya." Tiriaris nodded nearly imperceptively, eyes focused forwards. "Meet ya later ta'nigh' after ya done with your toy over there," the stranger told her kissing the back of her neck.

Tiraris threw her elbow back sharply. "Do not touch me again if you want to live to see the job completed," she hissed pulling away from him. "Caden!" she called, sauntering over to the angry demon.

In his fury, Caden completely missed the exchange between the second man and Tiraris. "You're dead!" he snarled, ramming the man against the wall and letting him drop to receive a swift punch to the jaw, his other hand quickly wrapped around his throat.

"NO, PLEASE! NO MORE! I didn't mean anythin' by it, I swear!"

"Sure. Sure. Right, and I'm just supposed to believe you!? I don't think so!" Caden was ready to burst as he stood there, holding the man so tightly in a vice grip, but as he heard her calling to him he turned to look at her with wild eyes.

He was all but transformed. Muscles spasmed visibly in his hands as he struggled to fight the fire within him. "What do you want!?" he screamed, eyes narrowed as she came closer.

Tiraris froze at Caden's harsh tone. For a very brief moment a look of hurt fluttered across her face before she slammed her stoic mask back on. "Nothing Caden," she replied softly. "Just clean up your mess," she hissed striding past him. 'You deserved that you Harlot! You should be the one he tears apart. You cruel heartless monster. You have hurt him again.'

She fought back tears as she raced up the stairs to her usual room. Slamming and locking the door behind her, she slid to the floor pulling her knees in tight. 'Curl monster! Harlot! Murderer! Fair-weather friend!'

Through the floor she could hear the shouting and begging of the bartender. The other patrons were laughing and jeering drunkenly as if this was a usual occurrence. "I am such a little fool," she muttered into her lap. Inside, her magic awoke rumbling under the surface, waiting for a chance to burst forth. "I am a danger to us all."

Through his anger he had almost missed that flash of a change in her, but he had caught enough of it to tell he had messed up. Growling as she walked away from him, he watched her go up the stairs as he dragged the bartender along with him to the end of the bar. Eyes flickering back to the man before him with his pitiful begging and screaming pleas, the demon lifted him up once again and threw him back hard against the wall, finally releasing him. "You're lucky I fucked up. Otherwise, you'd be dead," he warned before racing across the room, up the stairs, and to the room he heard her muttering coming from.

"Tiraris!" he called, voice strained as he grabbed at the door's handle, twisting and turning it every which way. He still fought the hot stinging coursing through his body, a normal reaction for such a violent rejection of his other self. Please, let me in. I'm sorry I yelled. I'm sorry I lost it. I'm sorry I hurt someone. And you. I'm sorry I hurt you.

Pounding on the door, he threw himself repeatedly against it, shaking it in its frame against the lock. It didn't take much of this for him to bend the lock and manage to force the door open. Roughly, he slammed it shut after him as he came inside and immediately went to kneel before her.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Tiraris. Please...forgive me. I didn't mean to get that way...I didn't mean to hurt you... Please..." Caden hung his head, hands reaching so hesitantly for her now as he wanted to hide himself away from her for his outburst.

His eyes still hadn't cooled very much and his hands still ached terribly, shaking violently, but his fangs were gone. A sweaty brow was the trophy of his struggle as he looked at her now with such sadness and regret there. Those bright, violet eyes looking so much like a wounded animal's, he remained there crouched and humbled before his other half.

She growled furiously as she watched Caden break down the door. Inwardly she felt sorry for him, but her magic was boiling too close to the surface to let him be forgiven so easily. She quickly unfolded herself, slinking to her feet. "Stay away from me," she hissed feeling the magic crackle along her skin. Her hands began to feel warm and sweat. Looking down she was surprised to see flames licking her palms and fingertips. 'Now this is new.' Not wishing to worry Caden she kept her shock to herself.

She took a deep breath trying to relax. "I am going to go for a walk. We both need to calm down and that is not going to happen with us in the same room. We both did things we should not have. When I come back we can discuss this civilly. Caden, right now I am so mad that I will probably end up hurting either you or myself. I do not wish to do either."

'Please Caden, let me walk away. Do not force the issue now. My control can only hold so long. Even with my emotions controlled, the magic is still slipping.' Even as she stood waiting for his acknowledgement the fire in her hands began to grow and rise. 'Every day that passes, I get worse. Oh Caden what am I going to do? I do not want to lose you.'

The pain of seeing her this way was excruciating in itself, let alone what he was going through right now. Clenching his teeth, Caden merely nodded for her words. With glazed eyes he looked up but didn't dare look at her face. Instead, he remained there staring off blankly at the wall until she left.

When the door closed, the demon slumped over to drop his head, hair falling along the sides of his face to hide the pain visible there. His eyes did not lose that bright glow and instead it intensified with each passing minute. The aching in his jaw returned gradually until the pressure pinched so much he bit into his cheeks to draw blood. Once the fangs were out again he knew what was to come.

Groaning for the harsh waves of pain that rippled through him, he crawled over to the bed where he clung to one of the legs of the frame. Sitting there, he felt a fine sheen of sweat building all over as he stared down at the floor, still desperately trying to cling to humanity. It was too much for him, though.

With silent tears running down his face, Caden took shallow breaths as he mumbled nonsense to himself. Goddess above...save me. Save me from myself. The pain radiating from his hands was growing to be almost too much, but still he sat in torture.

Muffled crying and whimpers rocked through him, shaking him away from peace more and more each time. An acute sharpness began popping at every little joint in his hands as he hunched there, shaking miserably for the awareness this was all happening in. It happened slowly, painfully and torturous still as he fought with himself every moment. The thin claws that ran flush with his bones had him feeling like his hand broke with every addition, every pop and slip into place.

Finally, they broke through.

Almost translucent white claws sprouted out now from his fingers, the cruel things buried back into his skin just at the knuckles but were long, and sharp as knives at the tips where they stretched another finger's length beyond. They truly were weapons, ones he knew could shred just about anything, but it had been so long since they had surfaced that it was extremely painful to bear them now, involuntary as it was.

Crying still, he began raking his hands along the finely-carved wood, ruining the etchings there as layers easily separated to fall to the floor around him. It wasn't long until his rage of grief took to other things about the room. The dresser. The floor. The walls. The curtains. The door itself. All were slowly and methodically carved into as he tried to contain himself there, tried to force himself to stay in the room and not wreck havoc unconfined.

When he was done, the emotions of the change finally settled into something much calmer and no longer out for blood, Caden again slumped to the floor amidst his wreckage. Still fully transformed, he curled his hands onto himself to keep the claws pointed at his chest and belly instead now, worried as he still kept tensing with the urge to fly from the room and follow after the instincts that pounded loudly in his mind now.

Instead, he was curled up there, head hung to hide his shame for what he had done in the night and what he still was and could not hide. There, he would remain.

Tiraris stormed out the door, letting it slam behind her. Below, the bar became very quiet as she angrily descended the steps. "This be new for ya," the bartender said pointing to her still flaming hands. She glared at him, her eyes seeming to glow with their own sets of flames. It was only when he back away from her challenging glare that she turned her gaze to the customer from early.

Curtly nodding her head to him, she grabbed her discarded cloak and marched out into the night. She did not stop until she felt the flames die back down. A few minutes later, the stranger joined her in the alley. She remained shrouded in the shadow as he informed her of the target, a group of brawny thugs that insisted on preying upon the helpless.

With their location in mind, she took off without discussing payment. 'This should be fun,' she thought, watching the three victims from around the corner of a building. Pulling her cloak tighter about herself, she walked slowly before the group looking nervous. Sure enough they took the bait and grabbed her.

"Where you off to so fast doll. Why don't you stay with us awhile?" The largest of the men pulled her close and nuzzled her hair.

"Let go of me," she hissed, playing the part of a helpless wallflower. In her mind she was far from it. Rapidly she calculated her plan of action and possible consequences. Lustily, the man grabbed her chin and forced his mouth on her own. Furious, Tiraris bit into his lip. She slapped harshly for her efforts and paused to spit blood in the man's face. She felt disgusted with the way they man-handled and groped her. It left a sour taste in her mouth.

Enraged she lashed out at them, freeing herself and unsheathing her sword. Their mocking laughter did not last long as she viciously tore into them. Their begging and screaming appeased her already fragile control. The hot blood splaying onto her was thrilling. It was not the kill that gave her peace but the beauty of the movement and the power she wielded. In her efforts to change for Caden, she had forgotten the reason she became an assassin to begin with. When she could not control her gift, the killing had. In the beginning it had terrified her, now it was just a fact of life.

Sighing she looked at her masterpiece. There was no trace of knowing who the victims were before death. She wiped the blood off herself, wincing as pain bloomed in her lip and side. Running her hands along her abdomen she realized one of them most have gotten a hit in. 'Bruised ribs. I can live with that.' Deciding the injuries were not fatal, she left them to heal naturally.

Much calmer now, Tiraris headed back to Caden. With every step she took she felt more guilty. She could taste the wrongness of the forced kisses and wished desperately for Caden's embrace. 'Forgive me Caden. I do not want to hurt you. I love you too much to continue wasting our time on fighting.'

But, the fight and following massacre had taught her one thing, she needed to kill. It was the only thing she had left to protect Caden from herself with. 'I will not let him die because I lose control. I will not be the cause of another loved one's death.'

He was still for a long time, the soft movements of his shallow breathing the only sign he was alive as he stayed where he was on the floor. As he began to realize it was getting to be quite late now, though, he became worried with what might happen when Tiraris returned.

She'll know I'm such a terrible monster now. I can't hide this... Even if I cleaned it up all the marks would still be there... I am such a fool. How could she ever still love me when she sees what I've done to the place? And what if she's still mad about...oh my... If she is...I'll probably have to leave, won't I?

Whimpering softly to himself, Caden eyed the door cautiously for a few long moments before lifting his head again. Slowly, he raised himself to a crouch and moved himself to the other side of the bed, hiding behind the mattress with his back to the door. Sliding down to sit on the floor, he pulled his knees up to his chest and dangled his clawed hands over them as his head rested against his legs.  

Bones still aching from his violent, but failed rejection, he remained there.

He didn't know really what he thought this might accomplish, if she might not find him pathetically hiding like this. Still, he figured it might delay her a few seconds at least.

Tiraris silently ascended the steps to their room. Pausing outside the door, she tried to judge Caden's mood. When she heard nothing but soft breathing she entered quietly. The room was a wreck. 'I did this. This is my fault. I drove him to this.' The already surfacing guilt took a deep-seated hold upon her heavy heart.

Observing the damage, she tried to locate where Caden was. Her heart pined a mournful cry of shame at seeing him curled up behind the bed. She made her way over to the bed and climbed on top of it, towards the man she loved. Tiraris swung her long legs over the edge of it, onto either side of Caden. Then standing, she pushed the bed away from them and squeezed down behind him.

Her arms came up to wrap around his chest and shoulders, her chest pressed tightly to his back. She held on as if her life depended on it, refusing to let go. Her head came to rest beside his and she breathed in his calming scent.

"I am a very selfish person Caden. I have spent all this time doing whatever I felt like without consideration for you. I have forgotten that I am not alone in this and that this also affects you." Her voice was soft and sad as she poured her apologies out to him. "I have spent a great portion of my life wearing masks. Tonight I put on one that I have not worn in a long time. I find that since I have met you, I no longer wish to wear it. With you I do not need to wear masks. With you, I can just be me. Being in old company made me forget that. I keep hurting you, Caden," she whispered running her fingers along the scar she knew lay beneath his shirt.

"I am not angry with you. I am angry with me, Caden. I do not want to hurt you. Yet the more I try not to, the more I do. I am such a horrible person. What kind of person hurts the one they love? Can you forgive me? Can you forgive my selfishness and childishness?"

She pressed a kiss gently to his collarbone and squeezed him tighter. Her long hair slid over their shoulders and mixed with his own silky locks. "I love you Caden. I am so afraid of losing you. Please forgive me."

Caden heard every little noise as she climbed up and entered the room. Bracing himself for shrieks of anger, he was startled that there was nothing but the sound of her shoes upon the floor. Wincing when he heard the bed creak as weight was placed upon it, he did not dare turn to look. Again, he was startled by the sudden movement of the bed, not expecting that at all. He remained tense for a long time, though, when he felt her hands encircling him and the warmth of her upon his back. A low growl built in his throat for a moment before he gulped it back, feeling absolutely ashamed of what he was and the involuntary action.

Biting his lip, he whined almost imperceptibly as he braced himself for another lash of her anger when he felt her head resting upon his shoulder. I am reduced to this. Cowering from punishment I truly deserve. Why must she taunt me? Why must she be so kind before she strikes me down and shoos me out of her life? As she finally spoke, though, he raised his head just a bit even though her voice was right in his ear.

He let her say her piece, sure it was just a small build up before she shoved him down, but he did listen. The touch at his scar gave him a mild start, but he quickly settled again when he heard her say she wasn't angry with him. Sweet Tiraris....my love...how can you not be angry with me like this? I have done nothing but disregard your wishes tonight. I should have been more understanding. I know it's hard to keep going like this and you're strong. You keep trying even when you hit a wall at every turn, yet you stay with me... If I were you I would just leave. Get out of this while you're still safe and sane and go search alone. You don't need me doing this to you. You don't need me ruining things. It will just keep happening. It will. So why stay?

Caden remained still and quiet for a long time after she finished. He felt so warm on all the places she touched and the little hollow of his collarbone was tingling with awareness as he felt her hair brushing over him. You are too kind to a monster, he thought, silent tears beginning to fall as he pressed his forehead rigidly against his legs still.
 
"For your own sake...please do not feel like you have to say such things to me. You...you are not someone who needs to apologize to someone like me, Miss Silverd'art. If there was anything to forgive, I would forgive you wholeheartedly, but...you have not wronged me.

"Please, go find someone who can help you be happy again. I get you so angry, don't I? Please, don't force yourself for my sake. I want you to be happy. I don't want you to have to deal with this." All was said with a strangled whisper as he raised a hand just barely off his knee for emphasis before letting it fall to flop limply back down again.

"Is this what you truly want Caden?" She asked him, fighting to keep her voice steady. "You want me to leave? You tell me to seek happiness and then tell me to abandon my heart all in the same breath. What do you want? Tell me and I will do it, but I cannot do both. You are my heart. I love you as I have loved no other. When I said I was staying with you for good, I meant it. Do you not want this anymore? Was I wrong in thinking you did?"

Despite her words, Tiraris refused to move. She held on tight. 'This is where I want to be, more than anything. Caden, have I hurt you this badly? Am I the reason you push me away? Do you fear me now?'

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the hand movement and froze. 'He became his true self because of me.' Tiraris knew how much he despised this form. It would not be out of choice that he assumed it. She shifted herself so that she curled into his side and was no longer behind him.

Tiraris took his hand in her own, intertwining them. If he moved he could cut her, but she did not care. 'I would rather die than lose you Caden.' For a while she just looked down at their hands and then she smiled. She leaned down, ignoring the pain in her side, and kissed his hands. "I love you," she told him vehemently. "Please do not send me away. I love you too much to leave."

'Please Caden. I can be better, do not end this now. I promise I will change, just do not make me leave. I love you!'

He didn't miss the obvious heaviness on her heart as she spoke and it had him feeling even worse about what he was doing to her, to them. He lifted his head finally, weariness and sadness clear in his bright eyes as he watched her.

Caden almost flinched when she went for his hand, but he remained as still as he could and just let her do what she wanted; he did not want to hurt her like that and if he so much as twitched his hand he knew he would. Giving a whimper for her kisses and kind words, he clenched his eyes shut for a moment against her pleas. I am such a fool, aren't I? I'm hurting you...yet you stay; you shouldn't have to deal with this kind of thing, Tiraris.

"Why are you touching me? They could hurt you...horribly," he said with a sigh, gesturing with a nod of his head at the claws adorned there upon his hands. Ignoring her questions, Caden turned his head to face her and just stared at her, the only sound he made being his breathing. I love you. I don't want you to go. I want you forever. Always. But I'm afraid you'll come to hate me in time, though, Tiraris. You are so kind and gentle with me now, but you'll eventually figure out you can do much better. Even though...I don't want that to happen. I am so selfish, aren't I?

"Is it so wrong for me to touch the man I love, to hold his hand in mine? I am not glass, Caden; I will not shatter." Tiraris looked him in the eyes, searching as if she could see his soul.

"What are you so afraid of that you have to push me away? Am I that frightening to you? Is it my inability to control my magic that disturbs you so? Is that what this is all about, Caden?" Tiraris sighed as tears began to form. She was helpless to stop them. They burnt paths down her cheeks, drenching her face in saltwater but, she refused to look away from him.

"I am sorry I cannot fix that yet. I am trying. But, please Caden, do not give up on me yet. I will try harder, I promise," she begged him. "Just, just give me some more time. We will find a teacher and I will learn. Then, things can be alright. We will! We will," she whispered squeezing his hands tightly in her own. "Please, please," she sobbed softly. Tiraris leaned over the joined hands, her tears plopping down on them both.

'I love you! This wretched monster that I am loves you. How can you not see? You who are the most beautiful thing I have laid eyes on, has this destructive and abusive creature as a match. Why does Kia hate us so? Why did she pair this unfit match together? I am not worthy of your love. But, selfish thing that I am, I refuse to let another have it. You are mine and I am yours. Please, Caden have faith in me. Believe that I can make this work. Just a little while longer, love. Please.'

"Tiraris, I-" Caden's face fell as she flung herself into more begging and pleading, her words tugging wildly at his heart. The demon just whimpered, the sound growing to a soft groan at the mere idea of her thinking she was the problem. He lifted his head, leaning close to press trembling lips to her forehead.

"Tiraris," he whispered, his own tears only being held back by blinking eyes as he watched her cry and felt her own upon his skin. Look at how much pain she's in...she thinks it's her fault, doesn't she? Oh, love...you are not to blame for any of this.

"I'm not angry with you at all, Tiraris. Love, I...- I know you're trying, I don't want anything more than for you to feel better about all of this. I'm not...giving up," he said, voice husky as tears began to spill forth from his own eyes. "Aren't you mad at me? Aren't you furious for what I've done? Look at me, Tiraris! Look at me! Look at these!" he glanced down briefly to glare at his claws as he opened his mouth to show her his fangs. "These will never change! There will always be times it comes out...and I don't want to hurt you! Don't you understand?!"

"Mad at you? How could I be mad at you for being yourself?" she asked. Tiraris let go of his hands only to cup his face with her own. "If I do not love you for all that you are, how can I expect the same of you? What you are has never bothered me. I have known it from the start; you have not deceived me with it. I was and am well aware of what you are capable of. I am also not afraid of that. Caden, between the two of us, who has hurt the other the most? Me. In spite of your nature, it has always been me who has done the hurting. I know we have had close calls. But, I do not love you any less for it. Can you imagine any other man trying to live me?" She gave a scoffing chuckle. "I would kill them."

'I already have.' Tiraris bowed her head as she recalled her past husbands. Among them had been good men and bad, friends and enemies. Those were deaths she regretted. She had lost people very close to her because of her magic, she hoped Caden would not join them.

"I love you Caden. All of you, fangs, claws, and heart included," she whispered sweetly before kissing him. 'Please understand Caden. I do not want to lose you, not when our time is already running out. Have faith, Caden. Have faith where I cannot, because I cannot do this without you. I love you!'

He didn't like the idea of her blaming herself like this; he felt they'd both done their share with all the little arguments they'd had already. "I don't even want to imagine any other living with you," he growled, though he checked himself quickly as she'd leaned in to kiss him.

Caden was beginning to settle down now, her logic finally breaking through to him as he watched her. Feeling her hands on him, so kind and warm against his cheeks, brought his tears to a halt. Look at yourself... Making her think she has to beg. She is far too gentle with me. She's so...perfect. I can't imagine not having her around anymore...no. No, I don't even want to think about it. It isn't going to happen.

"I love you, too, Tiraris. Everything about you. I'm- ...I'm sorry. I just...thought I could keep a handle on it," he said with a sigh. He gestured with one hand, carefully lifting it to make sure he didn't come near brushing against her by accident. "I didn't want this to happen. I was worried...it might scare you, since you hadn't seen it before," he added sheepishly as he brought his hands down to put his legs between her and his claws, still extremely wary of hurting her.

Tiraris noted what he was doing with his hands, and fought the urge to roll her eyes. 'Caden, I have killed more dangerous things than you. If you only knew.'

"There is nothing to apologize about, love." She reached up and caressed the side of his face, running her fingers through his hair. "This is not something you need to hide or control around me anymore. We are in this together. As my problem is now yours, so too are yours now mine."

'How do I say this? Gods above, I love him! But, will he think I am going too far? Does he feel the same? I know I am his match, but does that mean he is happy with me? Would e have chosen me if he was not forced to?' Her thoughts went round and round in her head while her hands unconsciously fidgeted in her lap.

"Caden," she started hesitantly, licking her lips, "that is what couples do is it not? We trust each other with ourselves. We trust despite differences, because of differences. We share not only dreams but also fears." As her heart pounded in her chest, she moved slowly to press into his side. 'Why do I feel so unsure now? We have been together for months already.'

As she rested against him, she began speaking again. Her gaze faced forward at the gnarled and now clawed wall. "I hoped that in time you would show me this side of you. I am glad I have seen it, even if it is not how you would have wanted it. I would not mind seeing it more, if you want to that is. I know it makes you uncomfortable. I just want you to know, I do not mind. Whatever your decision, I support you in it. I-"

'I support you. I trust you. I believe in you. I am not afraid of you. I will stand by you. I will never leave you.'

"I love you."

"I know it isn't something that needs to be hidden, but...well, I'd still like to think I can control it when I need to. But...it is what couples do, what we should probably work on a bit more." He sighed, happy that she seemed so sincere, and nuzzled his head against her as she adjusted herself.

"I wanted you to see, hoped you would want to see it someday. I just...I wasn't sure if you would like to so soon. But, if you really do like it" -He offered a hopeful smile here- "then I can let it show more. For you...so long as that's what you want," he explained.

Caden felt so much calmer now, having had her talk him down successfully. He couldn't help but notice she seemed a bit preoccupied now, though. "And I love you. I don't ever want to be apart from you, Tiraris... You're so special to me, you know. I...- You make me a very happy man." Reaching a hand carefully toward her and setting it atop one of her own hands, he asked hesitantly, "Something wrong, though? You look very...thoughtful."

"I do like it," she agreed strongly. "But, I do not want you to show it if you do not wish to. I do not want you to be like this just for me, but for us. I love you no matter what form you take."

She snuggled in closer to him closing her eyes. "Of course I do not mind this form. You already knew I liked the purring, was that not hint enough for you? I am the oddball human. Are you not so lucky to have me all to yourself?"

A smile lit up Tirairs' face as he took her hand willingly. "Wrong? No. I am just a little tired. Loving you gets me that way," she teased.

'Liar! You go from telling him that you two need to be more open and then you hide the truth from him. Hypocrite! Some partner you make. Trust? The strongest form is always built of lies, your mother taught you that did she not? Learned your lessons well, Tiraris. He will die because of you. Just watch your mouth little girl. You will drown in your lies and if he catches you, the ending will be so sweet.'

"Do you mind moving to the bed? Or do we have more to discuss in this secret conference of the lovebirds?" she asked him straight-faced. The pain in her side was starting to strongly protest her current position and she could feel the day's travels and the afternoon's fight beginning to take their toll on her.

"Hm, I bet you are," he snorted, glancing back at the bed before looking to her again. "I don't mind, no. I...I don't think it would be good for me to join you until it goes away, though." With a sad smile, he leaned closer to nuzzle against her cheek before he moved away to stand.

"I'm...sorry about the room. I'll find a way to pay for the damage, though," he said with a sigh as he looked about the room. Seeing the deep marks in the walls and furniture and on the floor made him visibly wince.

"Caden D'Andarce either you join me in that bed or I am going to curl up in your lap!" She threatened him. Tiraris began to move herself to make good on her threat. Kneeling over him, she thought better of it and kissed him instead.

Her forehead resting gently against his own, their eyes seeing nothing but the other's she continued, "Do not worry about the room. It has already been paid for a thousand times over. It is actually owner who owes me. Although," she smirked sitting back on her heels, "I do not think we will be welcome again after he sees this." Her eyes danced and she winked at him, moving back in to cuddle into his side. "I have no plans to return here again. I have no reason to, now that I have you."

"You are not very comfy all curled up like that," she informed him sitting up straight again. Tiraris began to poke him in the side and legs trying to get him to uncurl himself. 'I wonder if he is ticklish,' she thought as she prodded his ribs again. 'Now that would be something fun to discover.'

"You know Caden, we never did get to enjoy this evening like we had hoped to. Are you still up to some us time?" she asked hesitantly.

Even as she leaned against him, he stayed where he was for a time. As she started poking at him, though, he grunted and gave a low growl at her persistent prodding. "Why are you poking? Oww... I didn't know I should be concerned with comfort right now," he grumbled with a sigh, though he obliged her somewhat as he stood up to hide what ticklish shudders he could.

Looking down at her now, though, he raised a brow for what she was saying. "Yes, of course. I always am, Tiraris, I just...well, earlier I didn't even give a thought to you wanting any of that since we were arguing." Even though the pain of a forced change had only just begun to dissipate, he still held next to no desire to keep his claws out if he could help it.

Cautiously climbing up onto the bed, he focused himself on the knife-like protrusions now as he plopped himself down with his hands in his lap. Gradually, they slipped away to nothingness and once it was done he flexed his hands to double check that they were well and fully gone. Satisfied, he turned to look at Tiraris cautiously, a nervous smile dancing across his lips as he tried not to give another flash of the fangs he hid behind them.

"So, 'us time'?" he mumbled, leaning back to stretch out now that he knew he was safe from cutting up any blankets, or worse.

Tiraris followed him up onto the bed, watching concernedly as he retracted his claws. She smiled back and moved to sit on his middle. "Does it always hurt?" she asked taking his hand in her own. Tenderly she began to massage his fingers and joints. "It looks so painful."

She paused in her efforts to lean forward and steal a kiss. Feeling a little more adventurous than usual, Tiraris slipped her tongue into his mouth and poked against a fang before nipping at his lip. "Do you realize how important you are to me?" she breathed. Sitting back up she resumed her efforts on his other hand. "What should we do with our time Caden? It seems that I always make demands of you. I think it is time you had a say. We would not want people intimating who wears the trousers in this relationship, would we?"

While he could have easily shoved her off that wasn't even on his mind as she crawled up to sit on him. The massaging, while unexpected, was heavenly. Hardly focusing on her words, his mind was occupied mostly with trying not to purr and muffling what sighs and moans there were for how nice it felt on his aching hands. "Not always, it's really only if I let myself get rusty, ya know? If I don't change for a while then it is more painful. Basically, the more often I do it the more it happens fluidly, but-" He cut himself off as he felt her leaning forward.

Giving a satisfied "hmm," he reciprocated, but it didn't last much longer before he felt her tongue pushing against his teeth and, more specifically, a fang. His breath hitched a bit as his eyes snapped open for the further assault of her own teeth biting at his lip. Caden wasn't sure what to do in the moment, his body frozen as his eyes flickered over her even as she sat back again to continue that delicious massaging. I'll get her back. So strange...she isn't afraid of it. Guess she was being honest about not minding any of it. "Feisty, aren't you?" he said with a chuckle. "And I do...especially with how you're spoiling me now."

At her further question, though, he feigned a scoff of tarnished pride as he rolled his eyes. Ever mischievous, however, he lifted his free hand up to touch along her side, fingers nestling at the curve of her waist. "Hmph, trousers indeed. Well, we hardly ever get time like this... and I had no idea you wanted me to -oh, what's the word?- assert myself more, Tiraris.

"But if that's what my lady wants, then it's what she'll get," he finished with a dark snicker as he sat himself up a bit more, dumping her onto his lap with the movement even as he kept his hand firmly at her waist. "I'd say another kiss would be a nice start," he whispered, his face hovering just a nose from her own now. "No need to be modest, love." That childish, knowing grin was back, her words the only encouragement needed to draw out his playfulness.

"I can do a kiss," she said leaning forward and giving him a peck on the cheek. "How was that? Too modest for you? Perhaps this would be better." Tiraris ran her hands up Caden's sides and under his shirt, her nails lightly dragging against warm skin. Her arms came up and wrapped around his back pulling them closer together.

"You always smell so good to me," she whispered into his hair as she nuzzled into his neck. Playfully she nipped at his neck before blowing cool air on it. From there she kissed up his neck over his jaw and towards his mouth. But, when she reached his full lips, she pulled away again. "What shall I do next?"

Caden grumbled for the little peck she gave, his lips quickly forming a frown for the teasing lightness of it. What she'd done next, however, raised that grumbling to a hissing growl for the unmistakeable feel of nails dangerously close to breaking skin but only leaving little trails of redness along his ribs. And before he'd had much time to react she'd drawn herself closer up on his lap.

A playful pout danced along his lips now as she flipped back to sweetness. Oh, but only for a moment. Another strangled hiss escaped him for her efforts and he finally had hope she might give him something proper but, again, she yanked it away. So cruel to a man. Flip-flopping like that and she thinks she'll get away with it... Hm, I'll show her.

He could feel a light stinging at his neck now from her attention there, but he didn't mind the bittersweetness of it all. "You are such a cruel woman, Tiraris, do you know that?" he said gently at her ear, a hand raised now to comb through her silky hair. "Teasing me like that, where do you think that's going to land you, hm? ...Tiraris likes to flirt with danger." The demon chuckled darkly as he leaned back and claimed her lips up in a hungry kiss, letting his fangs prick at her flesh and his hands run down along her back to hold fast against him.

A soft gasp escaped her lips as she arched into Caden's embrace. "It took you this long to figure that out? I am the girl who kills for a living, danger is my specialty. What am I going to do with you, Caden? Should I keep you for your good looks? Oh, if only Caydence were here. She would tell me what to do."

Tiraris scraped her nails up and down his back, relishing in the growling that was starting to come from Caden. "Although, with my luck Caydence would have favored you over me, again." She pulled away from him, looking forlorn. "No purring?" she asked pouting. Nipping his earlobe she growled, "Now who is teasing whom here?"

The demon merely huffed at the mentioning of the cat, but the teasingly sharp feel of her nails upon him and the nipping at his ear still drove him into more rumbles of growling. "You're worried about the cat? And purring? Sure have your priorities straight, don'tcha?"

Rolling his eyes, he leaned his head against hers, trying to relax enough so he might appease her with a bit of purring, but it refused to churn up so easily right now. "Hmm... So you're wanting to rely upon a little cat to make decisions for you? And about me, no less?" Feigning a look of hurt, he pressed a kiss to her cheek before ducking lowering to nibble at her collarbone.

"What is the matter Caden? Feeling jealous?" she asked before hissing as he bit her collarbone. "How can I properly prioritize with you so close and doing that no less?" For a moment she just sat there, relishing the feeling with her head flung back.

When her brain decided to return for a moment she continued, "no I am not worried about the cat. Besides, if she was here she would have picked you over me anyway. Must be your cat connection," she said playfully, kissing his ear.

"Now Mr. D'Andarce, I do believe I gave you free range over tonight. Are you just going to let me sit here all night and do nothing?" Tiraris nudged his head with her own, challenging him to do something. "Or is this the best you can do?"

"Hmph, cats. They decide who they want to go to, ya know." But he was cut short by her next questions. Far more interesting than cats, I'd say.

Lifting his head from her shoulder, he nuzzled at her neck for a time in silence as he pondered what she was saying. "Hm...'do nothing,' you say," he scoffed, pressing closer to wind himself around and nibble gently at the nape of her neck, but only for a short moment as he was quickly leaning back again to press a kiss to the hollow of her neck. "So impatient, aren't you?

"Wouldn't it be so easy if I just gave you what you wanted? Am I that nice, Tiraris?" he chuckled as he tilted his head a bit, flicking his tongue lightly at the skin he'd been nibbling before.

"Is there something else you'd rather be doing? Other than 'sitting here'?" he teased, sneaking a few kisses up the front of her neck.

"And what do I want Caden? Do you even know?" she whispered into his ear. Her brow raised in a clear challenge. A soft moan rumbled through her throat under his ministrations. "Something else I would rather be doing?"

Tiraris pulled her head back up, looking at Caden as if in deep thought. "Well I could always go downstairs and drink some more, or," she said putting a finger to her lips in concentration. "I guess I could go sleep. I mean we do have a big day tomorrow."

Quickly, Tiraris rolled out off his lap, laid back, and feigned sleep. The smile curling her lips and the faint giggle broke any illusions of that though. "I know!" she gasped sitting up again beside him. She leaned in until her lips rested against the shell of his ear. "I could go outside and dance under the moon." She nipped his ear, lowering her voice. "Without apparel."

Pulling away, she laid back, flinging her arms up above her head. "Mmm I like that option. What do you think Caden? Did I choose well?" She asked, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.

He frowned at the thought of her going away to drink more, or go downstairs, or leave the room at all. With a snorting scoff at her feigned sleeping, he just watched her with a slightly amused glaze to his eyes as he fought the playful smile that so desperately wanted to bubble over. "I thought I was deciding." As she leaned close, however, his face suddenly fell into something more serious, as if she was confiding some great secret to him.

Rolling his violet eyes, a devilishly toothy grin was surfacing as he gestured a hand to the window just beyond, though it was currently draped by torn curtains. "We have the moon," he informed her, snaking an arm around her even as she laid back against the bed. Turning himself to face her, he moved closer to balance himself above Tiraris, his other hand pressed into a pillow above her head. "Why don't you do a dance here instead? Inside, where it isn't cold... with me."

A deep rumbling laugh slowly bubbled up from within her throat. Tiraris wound her arms and legs around Caden. Her fingers latched into his hair and she used the strength of her body to pull herself flush up against him.

As she opened her mouth to say something more though, the room's door burst open. Groaning, Tiraris allowed herself to drop back onto the bed, although she kept one hand still wrapped close to Caden's scalp. 'We never get a break, do we?'

"What did ya do to me room? Silverd'art!" It was the bartender from earlier and he was furious. His arms flapped about and his mouth opened and closed without making a sound.

"He looks like a fish does he not, love?" Tiraris whispered into Caden's ear, trying to sooth any ruffled feathers. Glaring at the intruder she continued louder now, "Get out Ben. We will be gone by morning. The room is paid for and after tonight you will not be seeing either of us again."

"Ya canna be serious! This room is a wreck. It-"
"It needed remodeling, we took care of the hard part for you," she laughed, smirking cruelly. Her fingernails scraped against Caden's scalp as she played with his hair. "Leave us," she dismissed. She was starting to really lose what little patience she had left.

"I'll just be tellin' your mother you was here then." Tiraris tensed and her eyes widened as the man continued. "They say she'll give ya 100 suns if ya know where her daughter is. I knows where ya goin'. Ya haven' been discrete with ya sources. Everyone knows ya seek a mage. There is only one round these parts, so to him ya go." He laughed gleefully and rubbed his hands together. "Oh, I broughts this for ya." He turned and picked up a bottle from outside the room. Looking indecisively at the pair he placed back on the ground and rolled it towards the bed. "Enjoy your night," he leered moving to leave them.

Tiraris barely took notice of anything after the mention of her mother. Her body remained frozen in shock as her mind flared in fear. 'I cannot go home. Caden cannot meet her! If she finds me...Gods above what am I going to do? She must not find me! I knew coming here was a bad idea. I never should have come to Serendipity or allowed our search to come so close to hom-her. I must have been out of my mind. What if she finds out about Caden? Gods above!'

He was sure he was finally getting somewhere with her, that sly grin ever-present as he lowered himself against her, not that she needed much help. A low growl escaped him for the feel of her hands against his scalp, but it quickly turned into a snarl as his head snapped to glare at the noise from the door opening. The hell...did he not learn his lesson with me the first time? Caden wasn't about to make a fool of himself again, however, and quietly checked his bubbling anger for her efforts. A disappointed groan could not be masked, however.

Glancing between them as she spoke with the man across the room, he couldn't help but notice the peculiar development arising. This man spoke of her mother and of their search. While the latter only got him a solid glare from the demon, the former tidbit of information about her and the supposed reward just had him confused.

She's never talked of her mother... And she's so tense now. What's this about money, though? That's quite a lot just to find out where your daughter is... He knew Tiraris came from a noble family, and one of respectable power and wealth at that, but he found it peculiar all the same.

As Ben left the only sound remaining in the room was the bottle rolling clumsily across the uneven floor to stop atop the rug near the bed. Turning back to face her, his light hair spilling over his shoulders as a look of confusion struck him, he lowered his head to nuzzle at her cheek. "Tiraris? You look...tense. What's wrong? Is it something he said? I'm...sorry he interrupted."

Coming back to her sense, Tiraris smiled tiredly and gave him a quick kiss. Her hands moved from his hair to cup his face. "It is not your fault Caden. We just never seem to win do we? Every time we try to do something we fight or get interrupted. Come here."

She tugged on his hair gently, and began to pull him down beside her on the bed. Tucking herself into his embrace, she slipped her hand under his shirt and began tracing patterns lightly on his stomach. "I guess I am just a little nervous about tomorrow," she finally told him. "What if he is not the one? How many more do we have to see? How many more are there even in existence? Is there even a teacher who can help me? How fruitless is our quest Caden? I do not want to hurt you. Today I lost control. It is only getting worse. How much longer do I have, do we have? We just found each other," she mumbled into his chest.

"Why are things so difficult for us?" Tiraris laughed wryly. "I am sorry. I ruined another night it seems. Do you mind if we just stay like this. I do not think I am up for much else. Today was far more draining than I expected."

'Draining, is that what you call traveling, flirting, fighting, massacring, and then seducing? You need to let him go. If mother finds out you will lose him. It is better if you give him up first. If you break his heart first, he cannot break yours.'

She nuzzled against him, breathing deeply. 'It is too late for that. I love him. We will just have to cross that bridge when we get there. He is mine and I am his. I will not allow it to be any other way. Not even she can get in my way now.'

He wasn't looking so sad now for her reassurances, but he still frowned all the same. Lowering himself to the bed, he brushed his hair from his face as he curled his arms around her. While it was far more than just a pleasant feeling to have her so close, Caden couldn't help but worry for the reasons she was needing to snuggle now.

Listening as she voiced her further concerns, he gave a low hum of understanding as a hand reached up to pet at her hair. "You haven't ruined anything, love, it's alright," he encouraged, ducking low to kiss her head. "I know it's stressful, and...we've been looking for a long time. There are a lot of things we just won't know until it happens." Sighing, he pressed himself closer to her and gave a gentle squeeze.

"We'll keep looking for as long as it takes, or at least I will, Tiraris. It's a process we'll just have to get through, but we will.

"But...what's this about your mother?" he asked hesitantly, unsure of how to approach the obviously sensitive subject. "Wait...you know what, don't tell me if you'd rather not. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Let's just relax, alright?" Sighing heavily, he rubbed at her back, but he had no idea how good it might do now; he knew they'd already had a long day and that it was only the most recent example of many throughout their search.

Tiraris sucked in all the love and comfort she could from Caden's embrace and words. But, with the mention of her mother she could not contain the feeling of panic that engulfed her. Her entire frame began to shake until Caden gave her the choice to not answer. 'This is why I love you so much. If you only knew how good you are to me.'

She nuzzled up closer to him, enjoying the warmth and strength he gave her. "Thank you." She hoped that short phrase could sum up all of her feelings, all the things she just could not say. 'I just hope this can last. He must not meet her, must not even know of her more than he does. She cannot find me. I will not go back to that shell of a life, not when I have you, Caden.'

Smiling up at him, Tiraris removed her hand from his stomach and moved it up to his smooth cheek. "I cannot imagine life without you." She wiggled her body up until their faces were level. Tenderly she kissed him on the lips, trying to convey her fears, her doubts, her anxieties and above all else, her deep love for him. "I love you," she whispered, once more tucking herself securely in his arms. Her eyes began to droop and her breath began to even out as sleep reached out to claim her.

As he'd thought she might, though he'd hoped he might get some small glimpse further into her past, Tiraris's decision was to lay the subject to rest. Soon enough, he felt the beginnings of his purr rumbling in his throat, the comfort of cuddling and just being close trumping the worries he'd had before for her reassurances. "Goes both ways, love," he said softly. Her hand touching at his cheek now, he gave a lazy smile, his eyes half-lidded now as he looked down upon her.
 
His arms loosened around her as she moved up, but he simply readjusted them and continued to hold her in that same close hug. Their kiss was bittersweet, tender but with brief moments of a further intensity. It was like a cloud hanging over them in such a gentle moment, a reminder of things to come that had yet to reveal themselves to their reality.

Those words, though whispered, still rung out in his mind as she settled herself back against him again. Watching her, he couldn't help but notice she seemed tired. I'll let it be for tonight. Things have been difficult, I don't want to add to her stress. With a pronounced yawn and shudder, Caden nuzzled himself as close as he waited for sleep to claim him.

By the time the late morning sun was spilling streaks of light through the shredded curtains the remaining traces of his demon self had receded. Fully human once more, he was bumped down a few notches on the fierceness scale, especially in sleep. His limbs were no longer tucked in neatly as one arm was being used as his pillow and leg dangled off the edge entirely. He made no sound and save for the slight movements of his chest he appeared fairly motionless, actually looking quite at peace for once.

Tiraris fell asleep cocooned in the loving embrace of her soulmate. This is not exactly how she woke up though. Somehow in the night the two of them had shifted positions and sprawled out in their own fashions. Where Caden was hanging off the bed in spots, Tiraris had managed to plant herself firmly in the middle of the bed. Her legs tucked into her body, her right arm cradled her head, and her back faced Caden.

She came to a state of awareness slowly at first until she attempted to stretch and unfurl herself from her ball-like position. Unthinkingly she let out a yelp of pain as her bruised side made itself angrily known. Still caught in the sharp pain and a lack of complete alertness she flailed, she swung her left arm out and behind her as she rolled accidentally bringing it down hard across Caden's middle.

Guiltily, Tiraris peaked up at Caden, hoping she hadn't woken him or startled him too badly. "Gods above!" she cursed, still trying to get up without setting her side pain off again. She hoped that Caden would be too tired to notice what had started the whole flailing act and she could blame it on waking up. 'I could only be so lucky to get such a break.'

The sharp noise that broke their long silence of sleep only stirred his mind a bit, coaxing him closer to break the surface of consciousness. Furrowing his brow a bit, his free arm slumped down to the bed beside him as if to silence it though his hand was entirely relaxed and he began to settle back into the comfort of half-sleep again. At least, he did until sensations of pain reached him.

Grunting, violet eyes snapped open to see her looking up at him, ears clearly picking up her words now. "Nn," he groaned, bringing his arm up to his side as he pushed himself up to sit. "What...was that for?" he asked over a yawn, eyes settling on her still as his vision became clearer and he drew his dangling leg back up to the bed. "You mad or something?" Caden flashed a cheeky smile even though he had no knowledge of what had just happened other than he hurt now. "Or maybe I grabbed you?"

Tiraris snorted. "You wish you had grabbed me. Nice try, love. I am sorry though. I am all stiff; I must have slept funny. I was not expecting the pain and accidentally attacked," she told him winking. "But, since you are awake we can get going now."

'How am I going to get off this bed without him noticing I am hurt?'

"You do know where we are going correct? You were the one to get the directions this time. I really am not in the mood for a day of "just around the corner," Caden."

Deciding she could probably roll off the bed and then push herself up, Tirairs began the slow, painful process of maneuvering her sore body over to the bed's edge. As long as Caden did not intercept her she would be good. 'Please no grabby hands this morning. He is going to kill me after last night.' She snorted again at the thought of a sexually deprived Caden. 'I wonder if because of our relationship this is the longest he has ever gone without it. Now there is a thought!'

Caden didn't really like the idea of leaving so quickly, he wanted to take his sweet, lazy time. Pushing off to sit up, he raised a brow for her complaining about how he followed, or rather didn't follow, directions. "Hey, at least we get there," he whined, pouting as he combed his hair back from his face. Watching her beginning to roll away toward the other side of the bed, however, just had the demon confused.

"Love, you said you were all stiff... C'mere." He quickly moved to crawl after her, grasping her arm gently to try and get her to stop as he knelt beside her now. "Come on, stay a while? Please? I'll give you a massage, don't you think that might help with it?" He definitely was picking up on all of her huffing snorts, but he wasn't quite sure what the reasoning behind it was, or what she was thinking about him at all.

"What's got you so irritated?" he wondered aloud, guessing at the cause of her noises.

"Caden," she whined as he stopped her. 'A massage sounds so nice. If only I knew he would not find the bruise.' Tiraris began to pout as she thought about how much she wanted to just lay in bed with Caden. 'Note to self, make excuse to do this later.'

She was just about persuaded to agree when a flash of realization struck her. "You just want to put your hands on me. I see how it is," she smirked, flopping onto her back. Giving up on getting away, Tiraris groaned crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes looked up at him pleadingly.

"Please Caden," she whined again. "Just think, the sooner we find him, the sooner I learn, the sooner we can," she wiggled her eyebrows up at him, "celebrate." Tiraris looked down, pouting again. "Unless of course you are not interested in me that way."

'As if! Mr. Grabby Hands has yet to prove himself incapable of keeping his hands to himself for more than a day. I just hope this works. I do not know how much longer Caden is going to last with this celibacy.' Tiraris had not forgotten all the stories she knew of her love's promiscuity before they meet. 'It is only a matter of time before he tires of waiting for me. I wish that were not true though.'

Caden's frown deepened for her suggestions, and he slid his hand away as he leaned back to sit beside her when she rolled over. It was true he could hardly wait for the day she allowed them to be more intimate with one another, but he felt he'd been patient thus far and didn't feel like her comments were warranted. "Of course I am, Tiraris," he grumbled, crossing his own arms childishly as he looked down upon her.

"I'm not helping you look just....just for that," he complained, turning his head to the side to look toward the window instead as irritation flickered across his eyes. "And I wasn't offering because of that..., much of a perk as it is. I just wanted to help you." Huffing, he untangled his arms and ran a stiff hand through his hair as he turned to push himself off the other side of the bed.

It was then that he realized he was probably going to get her very upset as the day wore on. She already didn't seem in the best of moods to him and he really wasn't entirely sure where the mage they were looking for lived, though he still remembered the directions vaguely. Today might be a very long day after all, he thought with a heavy sigh as he finally set feet to the cold floor.

'Baby!' her mind screamed. 'What is it with men and wounded pride?' Quietly and stiffly she sat up from her current position as he turned away from her. Just as he was beginning to stand she leaped onto his back. "Silly Caden. I was only teasing," she whispered against his neck.

Tirairs wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. "I love you," she told him, gently biting the juncture of neck and shoulder. "I know you want to help. But, I also know my resolve around you fades so quickly." She nuzzled her head along his jaw like a cat, giggling. "We will never make it out of bed today if I take you up on that offer. I need to stop procrastinating Caden. We need to fix this so we can move on with our lives, so we can have a life. That is not going to happen with us lying in bed all day, no matter how much I want it to be true." She squeezed him tighter. "I love you, Caden. I really do."

Feeling the sudden push at his back, Caden struggled not to topple them both over entirely. With her limbs firmly coiled around him, though, he soon resigned himself to being pulled back down to sit at the edge of the bed. At first, he just scowled and continued to pout, growling for her biting as much as he did like it. Her words softened him up, though, and rather quickly too for her admissions. Well, good, I was beginning to think you didn't want that sort of attention.

"It's not your fault we've been delayed so much," he said with a sigh, raising a hand to her arm as he turned his head to kiss her. "And I love you, too. So much. I'm sorry if it bothers you, but you know I like spending time close to you..., it's been so rare to have anything more than a few kisses or a hug. Not that I'm complaining, I do love it all. Just..." Caden sighed, furrowing his brow for a brief moment before he wiped it away in exchange for a small smile.

"I know... You're right." It did pain him to say it. As much as he didn't want to disappoint her, this was a first for Caden in his adult life. He wasn't used to being so patient, but he knew that he must for her. She was his match, his soulmate, his love for life. He wanted to do it for her.

With another sigh and nod, he leaned his head back against her shoulder to look up at her now. "I guess we should be going, then, right?"

She took a deep inhale, as if drinking in his scent. "Mmm, why do you have to be so irresistable?" Tiraris gave him one more kiss before releasing and falling back onto the bed with a slight grunt. 'How did we get fated for each other? He really is too good for me. He may be the demon but, I am the monster here. He is so patient and all I do is lash out and hurt him.'

Sitting up, she began to braid her silken mane. As her fingers danced, weaving the strands together, her mind focused on a topic much further from the here and now. 'How can he love me? Why am I so cruel? Here I am lying to him and all he wants to do is love me and take care of me. Poor, poor Caden. I pity that you are forever bound to this heartless wretch.'

Tiraris let out a weighty sigh, binding the braid in place. Shuffling over to her amour and bag, she could not help glaring at it for a long minute as if doing so would solve all her problems. The contemplation of wearing it all though, did not take long. "Nope," she exclaimed, giving the breastplate a kick. "Just not going to happen."

Grumbling because her decision meant bedning down, Tiraris quickly jammed it all haphazardly intto her rucksack. Standing wobbly now, she briefly presed her hand to her burning side, before moving back over to Caden. "Ready love?" she asked taking his hand in her own and kissing his inviting lips.

Even as she fell away he kept his head leaned back enough to watch her braid her hair. He was quiet, very still, and curiously observent of the simple action. Seeing her fingers dance along, weaving in and out, he couldn't help but think about how rare moments like this were for them; just being at peace, silent, and together even if they talked of nothing. He wasn't at all sure of what she was thinking about, if anything, but the sigh that broke the moment seemed to have a voice all its own that, to him, spoke in tongues.

As she moved away and went to attend to her things, he sat up, but still watched her. I don't even know what our future holds. I know what I would like, but does she want the same? Will we still be this way every day? She says that she loves me, but will it last for her? She's given up so much to try this with me, to search for a teacher, but how long will she last like this? She gets so frustrated by it all, I know it's difficult to keep doing this...

Finally standing, he eyed the armor as she fussed with it, but something seemed amiss. She seemed...different, somehow. He didn't miss the touch to her side, but he immediately chalked it up to soreness from their travels and a pang of guilt touched his heart at the thought of it, that they might have been pushing too hard for too long. It was strange, to think that and then see her looking happier to give one more kiss, to reach out for him. "Of course," was all he said as he intertwined the fingers of one hand with hers and then reached for his own pack.

Heading out from the tavern, Caden tried to get his bearings of the road, even as they walked along the way he took them not with complete certainty. "I think it's this way," he mumbled, eyeing the hills beyond them. "Probably up there, since it's kind of close... I'd think so, at least..." He just shrugged for this; they'd been searching for so long now that he didn't feel as much urgency now as in the beginning when he saw possibility at every twist and turn.

Tiraris had to bite her tongue to stop herself from barking at Caden. If she had not seen his fading enthusiasm she would have started off again about his lack of directions. 'Look at him. Look how I wear on him. Cruel, cruel fate, what do you do to us? Why do you torture him so?'

Content to just walk in silence, Tiraris leaned her head against Caden's shoulder and squeezed his hand gently. "Then this way we shall go," she stated simply. They did not make it far though before they came upon an aged woman sitting on the side of the road.

"Ye are going the wrong way," the woman called to them.
"What do you know of where we are going grandmother?" Tiraris called back as they got closer.
"What ye seek is not this way. He will be of no help to ye," was the cryptic reply.

Stopping now directly in front of the woman, Tiraris knelt down in front of the woman. "Do you know someone that can help us, help me then?"

The old woman began to laugh to herself. "Ye knows who will help ye. Thy bearer has the answers ye seeks."

What little hope she had been acquiring was quickly squashed in that moment. Her neutral mask quickly slammed back up into place as she rose to her feet. Tiraris' lip curled in disgust. "Let us depart Caden. This old crone is as senile as she is old. She speaks nothing but useless riddles in the hopes of waylaying us."

As Tiraris went on ahead, the crone latched onto Caden's arm. "Beware boy. She needs to see her carrier. Only then will she find answers. Ye will die otherwise. Mark my words," she stated, shaking her gnarled forefinger at him. "Ye will die if ye does not heed me warning." Laughing to herself the woman released Caden and wobbled to her feet, waddling off in the opposite direction.

For him there was an odd tension in their silence, but thankfully it wasn't long before they came across another bump in their journey. He spotted the old woman before she spoke, and for a moment he wondered if she might have been hurt or needed help. But then she called out to them. The wrong way? How would she know? The woman wasn't much help, though, she only continued to tell them they were wrong. What is she even talking about?

Caden furrowed his brow and tightened his grip on Tiraris's hand to lead them away at her own urging. He glanced down to the woman as they went by, but was startled to a stop when he felt her grab him. Now, he was glaring blatantly even as she warned him.

"I won't die. You obviously have no idea who or what I am," he said coldly, snatching his hand away even as she let him go. With sharp eyes he watched her wander away, but he soon was turning to Tiraris instead as he continued to walk along.

"What... what was that?" he asked, just as puzzled as he was angry about being told he might soon die. "I... I don't like this, love. Let's just keep going, okay...?"

"No worries. Lead the way," Tiraris replied, motioning with her hand to the road ahead of them. 'Come what may, Caden. I will not let you die. She is wrong. I will not be your death. I do not need to see my mother. She has nothing of use for me.'

Looking over to her love, Tiraris could see how agitated Caden was. "Do not fret about it. That old crone did not know what she was talking about. She would have said the same thing to any other couple who passed by," she told him rubbing his arm reassuringly. "You did not get rattled by her, did you?

"Did the big scary kitty get frightened by the little old mouse?" Tiraris smiled brightly, teasing Caden to try and ease the tension that grew between them with every step they took. 'How did it come to this? Things seem to go so well for us and then, we end up at the beginning all over again. Will we always be this way? Maybe this is as good as it gets. Is there even another way to be?'

Lead the way he did, but even as they walked along and distanced themselves from the strange little encounter, Caden still couldn't shake it. With a heavy sigh, he looked down at Tiraris when he noticed she herself was watching him. "Maybe so, but-- Eh? Rattled?" For just a moment his eyes flickered to something of mild amusement at her light teasing.

"I'll be alright, don't worry about me," he assured, though he turned his head back to face forward again now. Much as he didn't want to admit it, he was a bit worried about any threat to them now. For him at least, it was a slightly vulnerable time and he didn't really see it changing much anytime soon.

He carried on with few words now, though he certainly wasn't angry with her. He was focused and determined and silently praying that this way he was taking them was the right way. It didn't take long before he caught sight of a denser group of trees just a little ways up ahead. Right before it was a small little hut and what looked like a shed off to the side. A small hope rose in his heart that this was it, as it fit the description of what they'd been looking for, but he kept his eyes trained on the man that looked to be working on something near the shed.

"I think this is it, I think he's who we're looking for..." As he looked down to her again, though, he felt a pang of guilt. It was a mixture of knowing he was probably about to disappoint her again and knowing what she'd already gone through to get even this far. Caden was concerned for her, much as he knew she would probably deny needing his worry, and for a moment it did have him wondering what she thought about him.

They hadn't talked much about the future, what possibilities might be there for them, and he was sure that finding a teacher for her was their major block in that road. Caden still wondered, though. He wondered if her staying for good would truly be for forever. He wondered what she might want for them after she was able to better control her magic.

Tiraris' heart skipped a beat as Caden's lit up. 'I wish he looked that more often. He used to. This is all my fault. He was happy before he met me. Now all he does is worry and argue. I stress him out. He is so unhappy when he is with me. Why do I let this continue? Why do I put him through this?'

"How can I not worry about you? I love you. We are in this together, remember?" she told him giving his hand a tight squeeze. They traveled in relative silence until they reached their destination. Tiraris clutched Caden's hand tightly, reluctantly moving forward. 'Please let this work. I do not want him to have to go through the disappointment yet again. It would kill him.' She squared her shoulders and looked to him. "Moment of truth. Ready?"

"Always am. I'll be right here with you, okay?" Even though she already had his hand grasped so tightly, Caden gave hers a gentle squeeze as he leaned down to press a kiss to her hair. Continuing on, he began to notice more of the details about the place and soon he was able to see that the man at the top of the hill was working in what looked to be a garden.

"Ah, hello," Caden called, his eyes trained carefully on the man as he stopped his work and turned to look at them. "Are you Feichin? Feichin Dunlow?"

"Yes, yes... What can I do for you?" The man approached, meeting them at the start of the little worn path that ran between the garden and the house. The mage could already sense Caden's magic, see the faint aura of the demon, and a small little welcoming smile masked the pleased look in his eyes.

"Ah, good. Um... Caden D'Andarce, sir. And this is my... this is... Tiraris," he began, gesturing with his free hand to her. "We wanted to talk to you about something, we might be interested in employing your services as a mage, but we were hoping to have a word with you first. We have... some very important criteria that must be met, you see."

"Of course. Here, we can talk inside if you'd like to sit down," he offered, gesturing to his hut as he stepped around them to lead the party inside. The house was simply furnished, but the walls were lined with stacks of books everywhere but along the hearth that contained a small fire. There was a simple table surrounded by a few chairs in the center of the room. Feichin took the seat furthest from the fire and Caden gave Tiraris's hand another quick squeeze before he moved away to hold out the chair opposite the mage for her. "Now, what might you need my help with?" he asked, bright green eyes taking in the look of her before turning with particular curiosity to study Caden. Yes, he could sense something from them, but he was trying to work out exactly what it was.

Tiraris was not keen in entering the mage's home. Years of experience taught her to be wary and all of her training was coming into affect. It took everything she had to not employ intimidation tactics to get her way. 'I am different now. I have Caden now. I am giving that life up for him,' she thought. The niggling voice in the back of her head reminding her of the jobs she was still taking was quickly silenced. 'Let the games begin.'

"How do you feel about taking on an apprentice? The kind of help we need is a magic-user familiar with emotion-based magical reactions. Specifically, we need someone who can teach control. If the ability to harness said magic is also possible, then that as well. The magic I am talking about is extremely volatile. To date, it has only been controlled twice. Both times it nearly killed the user; this is unacceptable. Everyday that passes, the magic grows stronger and more unpredictable. It will not be long before it is unstoppable and that must not be allowed to happen. Thus far emotion-based control has been managed. But, that only goes so far. Some emotions are not meant to be contained."

She glanced over at Caden giving him a fleeting smile. Tiraris was well aware of the looks the mage was giving Caden. She intentionally played up the ambiguity of the situation. 'As long as he does not know more than the basics, we are safe. I wonder if he thinks, I am talking about Caden.' She allowed herself to smirk. "Do you find yourself capable of such a task?"

The mage did indeed have his suspicions about Caden. His unusual hair, while not entirely a giveaway, certainly gave him adequate reason to think he was something quite different from human. The woman, too, was particularly striking and he couldn't help but wonder what had them trekking all the way out to his little home. The serious tone she took in presenting their dilemma definitely caught his interest, though.

"Harnessing emotion-based magic... That's something I haven't had too much practice in, but I could certainly do it. An apprentice... now that would be nice to have, I haven't had one in a long time." He glanced to the fire behind them before he brought his gaze back to flicker between the two as Caden took a seat, a wry little smile there as his eyes settled on the demon once again. "It's only been controlled twice... What happens when it isn't under control?" he prodded curiously.

Caden offered an encouraging smile to Tiraris as a protective hand brushed against her knee under the table, but as he felt the mage's gaze upon him his eyes flickered with mild confusion as to why he was being focused on. Thinking it to be the better choice, though, he just cleared his throat and turned his attention back to Tiraris in hopes that the other man might get the hint.

Every instinct in her told her to leave and to leave now. 'He has not worked with it much? How is that supposed to help us? I am volatile enough as it is. I do not need to worsen my condition.' It was only Caden's calming presence and his hand on her knee that kept her still.

"At age six a young child threw a temper tantrum at having a favorite toy taken away. The magical outburst sent a grown man clear across the palace courtyard. Age has not improved the reactions, only strengthened them. The most violent episode destroyed a mansion and killed all inhabitants both inside and within a mile radius of it." Tiraris fell quiet, remembering what had caused the outburst to begin with. 'It is over. He is gone; they all are gone.'

"Will you help or not? We have better things to do then waste time here if you cannot." Tiraris was impatient. She hated this waiting game. 'I want to move on with my life already. I want there to be an us. I do not wish to be the beast anymore. I am ready to be beauty.' A warmth filled her chest as she thought of Caden's smile. 'Well as much beauty as I can be in comparison to his. I hope he realizes how grateful I am for him. Things would be so different if he had not persisted. I would not be happy again without him. I am trying Caden. I promise to try and never stop until we get this right.'

The mage was surprised when Caden was not the one to speak up, but that little, wry smile was there all the same as he listened to Tiraris explain. He realized then that it was she that wanted his help, not the man with the strange glow to him. Feichin was not yet sure exactly, but he knew there was something within Caden as well, something locked away that he could sense the very edges of sneaking out away from him.

Her impatience surprised him and, he figured, that that was something she would need to work on if she was going to follow through with the little arrangement she wanted. "Yes, I think I can work with that. It's all quite impressive, Miss Tiraris. Very explosive magic. I'd say I'd like to see it in action, but I wouldn't want to wind up dead for such a silly thing. You can show me once you've learned more." He wore a pleased smile even as Caden watched him with uncertainty now.

"Just like that?" the demon asked, furrowing his brow a bit. "And what of...payment?" He felt his hand tighten a bit where it rested upon her leg.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry yourselves over it. I wouldn't ask for anything not easily parted with," he explained, though his words definitely held hidden meaning. "You must understand, though... These things take time; it won't be happening overnight. Speaking of which... it would probably be best if you stayed here, if you're going to accept my offer, that is.

"There's a small back room in the shed with a cot. You're more than welcome to stay if you don't mind humble furnishings... I'm sure it would be just enough room for an apprentice." He didn't want to come out and say that what he offered was incredibly small, but he did not lie when he said it would probably only be room enough for Tiraris to stay comfortably, not with Caden. With that, though, the mage rose to his feet and walked around the table to the fire, where he coaxed it higher in a wilder dance.

"Love... This is what you've been waiting for," Caden whispered excitedly, already leaning close to speak directly at her ear. "He can teach you! Do you... do you want us to stay? I'll wait. No matter how long it takes, don't worry about it..." He leaned away only slightly to try and look her in the eye, to show her how optimistic he was now. "I just want to see you happy, love... I would wait forever for that."

Mahogany eyes flashed briefly as the magic crackled along Tiraris' skin. She quickly quelled the irritation only letting it show as a warning to the mage. 'I am not to be trifled with,' it said. 'I am not a toy.' Her attitude though, was very different from that of Caden. She did not share his immediate enthusiasm. Time had taught her to be wary and to guard her heart carefully. False hope only crushed the weak, and she refused to be weak.

"You will have to excuse us," she stated rising gracefully to her feet. "D'Andarce and I have some things to discuss before anything is agreed upon." Taking long strides, Tiraris was soon out the door and well on her way to being out of sight and hearing range before she slowed. Spinning around, she grabbed Caden by the back of the head and kissed him soundly. All of her pent up emotions, her fear and irritation, all went into that one kiss.

Breathing heavily she broke away, resting her forehead on his chest. "Are we doing the right thing Caden? Can we even trust him? I do not like the way he looks at you. He sets my teeth on edge. Maybe I am being too harsh, but I what are we to do? If he is not the one we have wasted time and are crushed once more. If we leave, we will forever question it."

Her eyes pinched close together as she fought an onslaught of tears. "What will you do if we stay? I am sure he will not let you in on the lessons. You will be so bored. Where will you sleep?" Tiraris gave a slight shudder. "I am not staying with him. Where you go, I go. You could not make me stay there without you, even if you tied me to the bed," she vehemently vowed. "Tell me what to do Caden. What you say, I will do. For you I will try." Her mind cruelly cut in, 'even when you yourself do not believe.'

Tiraris gave a mournful sigh. Her thoughts turned sour as she thought of other things. "What are we doing, Caden? How is this ever going to work? Is this the best it will ever get? Will you only ever be able to give me the occasional kiss and embrace for fear of my combusting? How can you even know that I am your match? What if you are wrong?" Her voice rose as she pulled away to look at him. She moved her arms about as she spoke, emphasizing her points. "What if this is not real, or this is all we will ever have? Do you not want a family? Caden, as long as you are tied down to me, there will not be one. How can I bear a child when you cannot even touch me? Is this all it will ever be? I do not think I can live with that. I do not want you to have to try."

She rubbed a hand over her eyes, gritting her teeth and looking to the side. A slow breath rattled between chapped lips as she tried to calm herself enough to fight back the tears. 'He will be just like the rest of them. I cannot lose two friends. I already lost Adalwin to this curse. I cannot lose Caden too. If it means we must spend our days apart then so be it.'

She was so calm in that brief moment, he almost didn't see the streak of emotion that flared up. As she stood, he stared, wide-eyed as she moved to leave. Glancing to the mage, he hummed his agreement to her statement and got up to follow her out. She didn't stop right at the door, though, and he was sure the situation was very dire indeed if she truly wanted privacy in this.

Finally alone, save for the trees surrounding them, he slowed just as she did. She'd been so quiet, though, that he was trying to think of something, anything that he might be able to say. But then she was grabbing him. She was kissing him, too, and he wasn't quite sure at first where she was going with all of this. As she pulled away and rested her head against him, though, he raised his arms up around her to rest lightly at her back.

"Tiraris... this is what we've been searching for, right? Nobody ever said he had to be a perfect person, but if he can help you, he can help you. Trust... you just have to trust him enough to teach you, nothing more, right?" But she carried on, and all he could really do was stand there helplessly for a time as she let things out.

"I'm sure I'll find some way to keep myself busy," he assured. "I would never just leave you here. I'm sure it won't be that bad, Ti--" And then she was off. His face began to fall as her words and questions cut deep to the core, painful now with what she was saying.

He'd certainly thought of most of these things before himself, but it was causing an ache in his chest to hear them from her. As she pulled away and her voice started rising he just let his hands slip back down to his sides while he stared at her. The look in those bright, violet eyes was suddenly quite hurt. Not at her, but himself for knowing he had a part in her questioning him and their relationship.

As she fell quiet again in words, he almost wished she had not. The shaky, heaving breaths as she tried to calm herself, the look on her face as she tried not to cry and how she could not even bring herself to look at him just tugged at his heart all the more. With a quivering lower lip, he hung his head and carefully reached out a hand to her, to press lightly to her arm. "It is real," he whispered, gaze locked upon the ground beyond her as he fought the tears threatening to spill forth. What are you saying? What could you possibly say to her to fix this? She's upset. She's scared. I've given her reason not to trust in us, somehow, haven't I?

"Is it that you don't want me to try or that you don't want us to try?" he choked out, his voice uneven and nostrils flaring as he tried to calm himself from flying off the handle with the burst of emotion he could already feel internally. "All I want is to be with you. If you cannot live with that...then I don't know what to say, but a family is not what's important to me if I cannot make you happy. If... if you don't feel as I do for you, then I can't do anything about that, but I do not doubt that you are my match." He hissed lightly between his teeth at the mere thought of it, of possibly being rejected by her now.

"Tiraris... My soulmate does not tie me down... drag me down, anything. All I care about is your happiness! If I cannot make you happy... If I don't make you happy, then maybe... Maybe I'm not... the... the one for you," he choked out, each word just driving needles into his heart. The hand at her arm slowly fell again as he took a small step away from her to further hang his head. Maybe she does not see in me what I see in her. Such a beautiful person. Nobody's perfect, but I love her so dearly... perhaps I was wrong in thinking she could ever feel so completely the same.

"Much as you might be led to believe about me... it's not about the physical. Touch... is necessary, but I would never push you, Tiraris. I will always respect your wishes. Whatever you may ever want from me, you'd only need to ask and it will be done, but we are real. This is real." But... her affections. Her words. Her love. It can't all be fake, there's no way... what reason would she have? If she will try for me why is she questioning me? If she feels for me, then why do we torture ourselves so?

"I want you to be happy. That is all I want and all I will ever push for. I want you to find someone to help you, to teach you, and this man just may be your ticket to freedom, Tiraris. It would be best for you, I think, if you stayed. You need to stay and learn. Learn the control you want. Then, move on with your life.

"I will not force you, but so far this has been the only promising thing we've found... and don't worry about me. I want you to be comfortable, I know it's a stressful thing and it will probably take a lot out of you... but I will stay as near as I can, as always... if you wish for me to." His rant over, he just stood quietly, unmoving and afraid of looking up to her.

"I do want us to try. You are the closest thing that has brought happiness back into my life. But, it is not you but, me that makes me so unhappy. There is only so much you can do for me when I cannot help myself. I do not want you to have to live your life constantly worrying if you have upset me. That is not a life. That is not what a relationship should be about. I do not want that for us. I want something more. The one who is failing in this relationship is me."

Tiraris pinched the bridge of her nose. 'Is it time to bring this up? No time like the present I guess.' Nodding her head to herself she knelt to the ground, shifting pack from shoulder. A quick search in the bag soon revealed a worn green ribbon holding eight rings. Some were of silver, some of gold, many had precious gems, but Tiraris only valued one of them.

"There are eight rings here. Each given to me by the eight husbands I had. I hated almost all of my husbands. Most marriages I went into reluctantly, only two of them did I do so willingly. This one," she said holding up the simplest ring, one made of twine, "was given to me by my only friend. I married him the morning of my supposed seventh husband but really eighth husband."

Her fingers played with the rings as she remembered the day, the way the light shone in the field, the small thrill of happiness that momentarily soared through her. "My last husband was known for being a womanizer and a drunkard. He married young girls for sexual gratification, then sold them when he was done with them. I did not want that. So Adalwin, our family's stable boy asked me to marry him and I said yes. It was simple, it was stupid, it was special, and it only lasted an hour. Caden, I know you would never push me to do anything I did not want. I know that this is not about sex for you. But, I cannot tell you how much I crave touch, to be held and to be loved. I have never had that and at this moment can never have that."

She threw her hand up showing the wedding bands again. "Eight men are dead because I cannot be touched. Whether I loved them or hated them it did not matter. They are all dead. My last wedding day I married and buried two men all in one day." Another shaky breath escaped past her lips as her chest heaved to draw air in and out of her lungs. "I believe you Caden when you tell me this is real. But, my mind cannot help questioning for how much longer it will last. I cannot bear to lose you. But, how much longer can I live this half-life I created for myself long before I met you? I loved Adalwin, Caden. But, I love you so much more. I love you so much I would do whatever you asked of me. I know you share the same devotion to me. On the same hand though, I fear that which is meant to bring me joy."

A long sigh made it past quivering lips as Tiraris placed the rings back in her rucksack. "We say we love each other but, how much do we know about each other? Time is running out Caden. There is so much to tell. I know so little about you and you even less about me. A relationship cannot be built on half-truths and secrecy. I know this is my fault. I do not ask for fear you will do the same." Tiraris let her head hang as guilt washed over her. "I am selfish. I want your love but refuse all that comes with it, including the need for shared trust. I desire and take but rarely give. When I do, I only steal it back again."

Silence reigned at last on her part. Head down, hand to head, Tiraris watched her thoughts swirl around her head like water in a sewer drain. Gooseflesh rose along the skin of her neck and arms as she posed one final question. "I need to know Caden. Would you have ever desired a family with me? If I had not been damaged and broken, would you have wanted a child with me? Could you still desire one now?"

'Do I even want children? No. With him, yes. No. I will not curse another with this. A little girl with his violet eyes. No! A little boy with his smile, his laughter, his ears, his hair, his purr, his hope. Hope. What a foolish human sentiment. You are human, or at least you were once. Long before you became this monster and lost your way, you were human. I have forgot how to live. He will teach you. Before or after I kill him? Have faith. Faith is no different than hope. Both are useless. Then you will never know. Know what? Why your heart beats only for him. Why only he has ever made that smile dance across your lips and light up your eyes like stars. Better to have faith and hope than to have been consumed by fear. You let terror rule your life, let it destroy the person you once were. Men destroyed her. That was not my doing. She is not gone. She is dead. I buried her when I buried Adalwin. You are not far from home little dove. Fly away home and find her again.'

Her thoughts fell still as she waited tensely for an answer. If Tiraris was open and honest with herself, she did not know which she wanted to hear from him. Both had good points and bad regrets. All she knew is that she loved Caden with all her soul. She meant it when she said she would die for him. He was just as important if not more so to her as she was to him.

It was all he could do to just listen and be patient with her. Flashes of jealousy and blind pride reared their ugly heads as she explained just a glimpse of her past, but even as she assured him that she loved him the most, he also couldn't help but wonder how thing might have been if she'd been able to remain happily married to another and he had found her too late. But it didn't happen that way. Remember that. She's here now.

He felt guilty. To know that she wanted more than he could give her right now. To realize, or think he realized, how much she had been holding herself back. To see that she both desired and feared what they might be able to have together someday. All of it had his mind crashing a huge wave of guilt over him. It was watching her replace the rings that really got his thoughts churning at last, willing him to do anything but stand there stupidly as he was.

Caden realized how cautious he'd been trying to be, and thought he'd probably given her so much reason to question him. It shouldn't be a surprise. I know it's all so risky, but she's worth it. Hearing her call herself selfish, though, had him looking terribly hurt all over again. "You are not. We have things to work on...so many things, but you are not the only one at fault for what we have. It is us. We share it," he whispered, though he, too, fell quiet again to watch her.

He was beginning to realize how focused he'd been all this time on things he'd never had to think about before. To have her there brought out such strange feelings, feelings he hadn't really had to concern himself with to any great extent before. Attachment. Love. Hope for another. Fear for another. To feel that distinctive swelling of his pride, and for something other than meaningless, shallow things.

He knew he'd been fairly blind to their unending cautiousness around each other. He never wanted to admit that. He just kept pushing through whatever life threw at them not even knowing if they might ever make it through. It was a good thing, to be sure, but now he saw how pitiful it probably looked; to not have a clue how things would be and keep going for it anyway.

Her questions now, though, struck him in a way he hadn't expected. The thought of a family had certainly crossed his mind, if fleetingly, but he was well aware, too, of how they had been able to do nothing more than hug or kiss in their months together thus far. It surprised him how he felt a faint melting in his heart now at the thought of one day being able to see her holding a child of theirs in her arms. She would be a good mother... Lots of tough love. I... I don't even know, though. She's never said anything about wanting children. Now she's asking... does that mean she might want that some day...?

Slowly lifting his head more, he looked down upon her for a moment in silence as he mulled over what to say and how he should say it. Their situation was already so delicate, he didn't want to make anything worse than it needed to be. With a light sigh, Caden stepped forward again and lowered himself to crouch before her. The shadows of trees dancing across her hair was beautiful, but that was not what he could see now. She was hurt. She was worried. She didn't know what they should do. Lifting a hand, he brushed fingertips against her hair for a moment before settling his palm down on her shoulder, a small and hopeful smile there beneath terribly sad eyes.

"I'm not sure how it would be, Tiraris. I'm not even entirely sure if my kind could successfully...interbreed. I think... I think it would be a lovely thing, if we could manage it, but a family is not the reason I am here with you. If we wanted to try to have children... I would be very happy, I think, but I would be just as happy to have none at all.

"I could keep you all to myself, that way," he teased lightly, hoping to lighten the mood a bit as he lowered his head now to press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "But we have other things to worry about right now, love. Unless that's something you wanted to talk about right now...?" He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to that, he thought it was cruel enough not being able to touch her, much as he'd wanted to and tried before.

'Look at him. He is afraid of me. He will not even touch me. I did this. I am the one driving him away. Look how quiet he is, how little he addresses. He is going to reject me.' Her breath caught in her throat, flattening her chest as she listened to Caden. 'I never thought of that. The one happiness every woman expects with her husband is a child, and we cannot even have one. I am failure all around. I deny him family. I deny him love. I deny him hope. What is left for him, but my broken shell of existence? This is it,' she thought has he kissed her forehead and then placed a hand on her shoulder.

'And now he will reject me. But, in his own sweet way. I may not have even recognized it if it had not been for this new revelation. This whole time, he has been trying to let me go, and I have clung on. I am destroying him. This is all my fault. Here I was, thinking I was protecting, him when it has been he who is trying to shield me. He just has not found the way to tell me yet, a way that will not get him killed.'

The windows to Tiraris' soul crashed shut, shuttering her eyes from revealing the pain that festered inside her breast. 'I am such a fool! No more. No more.' She rose to her feet fluidly. "There is nothing more to talk of. I will inform the mage he has a new student. And," she paused, brushing her hair behind her ear, before undoing it again. "Perhaps he is right, Caden. Maybe it would be best if I stayed there. I do not think distractions would be good for all parties involved."

Tiraris briefly looked up at Caden, gave him a fleeting smile and turned to head back. Her mind was numb to her surroundings, only focused on the silencing of her heart. 'I will fix this, and then I will end this. Come what may Caden, I promise to not hurt you. I understand now, that means letting you go. Even if you do not quite see it yet, I do. The end is nigh, but it shall be a happy one, for one of us, for you.'

Watching her, he remained silent. He didn't understand what was going on and even thought they might finally be getting somewhere with all of this, but then she was standing up again, not even answering him and shutting him down. Letting his hand slip away, Caden remained where he was as she spoke, confusion flooding his eyes and the beginnings of hurt edging in as well. He didn't understand what he had done or what he hadn't done.

"Distractions. Yeah..." Running a hand through his hair, he brushed it away from his face before rising to his feet once more. A new student, that means she'll stay. But distraction... I guess I should let her have her space for a while, huh? But... I just don't understand, I thought she wanted to talk. She's being... distant, all of a sudden. I hope she isn't upset. Was it something I said?

Watching her head back down to the house, Caden followed quietly, leaving plenty of space between them now. It was evident enough to him that she didn't want to talk anymore, but it was causing an ache in his chest to not know what had just happened or why. "Hey... Tiraris?" he called as they broke the tree line, his hands stuffed in his pockets and head bowed. "If you're going to stay, can we please talk? I'd like to at least know how this is going to work..." It was a sad attempt at best, but it was all he had in his current state, and even this he was not entirely sure would not upset her somehow.

Tiraris allowed her steps to slow to a stop as Caden called after. She let out a soft, weary sigh before turning to face him. "What do you want to talk about, love?" As she looked at him, Tiraris realized she wanted nothing more than to run into the shelter of his arms. She wanted to share in his warmth, to run her fingers along his ears and through his hair, to kiss him and never stop.

'I must be strong. He does not want that from me. I am nothing more than a passing fancy, a pestilence on what could have been a truly beautiful relationship. Gods above, I wish you had not cursed me so. I would have liked a chance with him. He is good man; I just wish I could have been a good woman to match.'

Inching his way closer, he stopped a respectable distance from her though he still did not lift his head at all. Caden thought the sighing was fairly telling now, with what few words they were sharing. She's upset with me, isn't she?

Twisting his hands around in his pockets, he stared at the ground as he pondered how to ask her. "You said that you're staying... but you didn't say if we both should stay. I know this is important to you, but... did you want me to be here, too?" It was something he hadn't given much thought to before, what would happen once they found a teacher for her. He assumed that deciding to be with him meant that they could stick together, but he wasn't sure if controlling her magic was something she wanted to conquer by herself.

'Do I want him to stay? Yes! No! Where would he stay? He does not deserve to constantly wait around for me. He will be a distraction. You already have so little time with him, why are you wasting it by sending him away. The sooner I learn the more time I have in safety with him. The more time I waste with him without the teachings, the more dangerous I become. It is better this way. He is safer this way.'

Looking at Caden's forlorn expression almost broke Tiraris' resolve. 'But how do I tell him that? How do I make him understand. You do not.' The tall woman shrugged her shoulders loosely. "What do you want, Caden? Is there anything even for you to do here? I cannot spend time with you when I am trying to learn. It could kill us both if I get frustrated over the lessons not working out." She shrugged again. "It is up to you, Caden. I am not going to make the choice for you," she said sounding thoroughly defeated.

It was what he expected now, but why he hadn't seen it before was a mystery to him. Perhaps I was too hopeful, thinking she would want me to be here for her. I would... I want to be, but when she says it like that... if she spent more time with me that would be more time that she wouldn't be able to learn. She's dedicated. She'll do it, I know, I just... The thought of being separated from her again had his heart dropping into his stomach.

Caden stood tensely now, no longer fidgeting as he made up his mind on what he was going to do. "I see what you mean... There really isn't much for me to do here. I guess... I guess I could go back into town for a little while, yeah? I could check in...maybe every week or so until you finish, otherwise you could come get me..." Every word hurt to speak, but instead of sounding strained he forced it to be dry, void of emotion.

His mind made up, he stepped forward again to walk by her and around the hut to go back toward the road, though he could not lift his sad eyes to her now. "Good luck... and goodbye for now, Tiraris. I... I'll be back sooner than you know it... I love you."

Caden's goodbye had torn a hole in Tiraris' heart that only got bigger as the weeks went on. True to her word she had slept in the small side room and obeyed the mage's instructions. Controlling her agitation and longing became more difficult and more distracting with each passing day.

'How is it, that even with you so far from me Caden, you still haunt and distract me? I thought your leaving was supposed to prevent that, not ensure it! I miss you more with each heartbeat. Oh Caden, I miss you so much. Our brief meetings only makes it worse, knowing you will walk away and I must endure without you. How will I ever survive this for the long term? If I can barely survive a week, how will I live through years of this? Will I even live long enough for it to become more than an unbearable ache?'

The familiar crackle along her skin was the telltale warning sign that she was losing control again. "It comes faster everyday," she muttered morosely, viciously ripping up blades of grass with both hands. She could practically hear the chastisements already. 'I should not let him distract me so. How can I protect him from myself if I do not learn. That was the point! Will this ever end?'

He felt bad for lying to her, but only a little. Staying in the woods near the mage's home wasn't exactly ideal and did such horrible things for his back, but he didn't care, it was all worth it to him. The day he'd "left" he'd known he wouldn't be able to stand it and by nightfall had returned to hide out and watch her progress from afar. It was almost as bad as being away entirely, this seeing but not being able to approach.

Being away from her in any capacity was becoming his personal hell. It caused physical pain and every day grew to be more and more of a struggle to maintain boundaries, but her wrath was not something he wished to have upon himself.

It had been just over a week again, but Caden took the long way around through the woods to get to the road so that it appeared like his approach was from town like it should have been. As he got closer and could now make out each individual area again on the property, he gave a sigh to see that Tiraris was still where he'd left her, plucking at the grass. Raising an arm to wave in the hopes of catching her eye, the demon called out her name with a sad little smile and a heavy hollowness in his heart to know that this was doomed to be fleeting, as always.

Tiraris looked up at the sound of her name and nearly smiled. 'He is here!' Every instinct within her told her to get up and run to him. Instead she stay put and bobbed her head at him before closing her eyes in concentration. 'I have to let go of this attachment. I am already on edge. He could get hurt if I lose control.'

She calmed her breathing, forcing her heart to slow and began the exercise again. Palm outstretched in front of her, the assassin let her magic crackle along her skin. When she came to the point where she felt she could control it, she let it move out to form in the palm of her hand. The crisp electrical hum sang in her ears and grated on her nerves.

The crunch of feet on earth, distracted Tiraris. Loosing control, the electrical currents lashed outward seeking the closest target. Struggling to reign the massive arcs of light, she was able to pull them in until formed a sort of cage around her that got tighter and tighter around her with each breath. At the last moment it retracted back within her, leaving Tiraris tired and out of breath. "You still distract me," she muttered darkly to herself.

His heart skipped a beat to see her looking at him, and his body tensed with excited anticipation that perhaps she might come to meet him. She did not, though, and his face fell a bit to see her remain where she was, to see her close her eyes as if he wasn't even there. Caden glanced briefly to the hut as he continued to make his way up the path, but his eyes couldn't stray from her for long.

The flashes of light caused him to wince, and for a moment he stopped, but only a moment. "Tiraris?" With eyes fixed upon her and the crackling light encircling her, Caden continued forward as calmly as possible. Closer to her when it all disappeared, his sensitive ears definitely picked up upon her muttered words. Stopping a couple of feet away from her, he just hung his head and stared at his feet instead of looking up to her. "Do I really?" But he left it at that for a time, quiet as he contemplated what else he could say.

It had been a long time since they'd spoken, he thought; a week or more was far too much for him, but he wasn't so sure now that she'd missed him all that much. "How have you been?" he asked simply, if a bit tense as he stood there fighting the urge to go to her. I miss her so much. There's no...intimacy. Not even a hug or kind word, it's always work, work, work ... I wish I could make her happy in all of this, but I know she has to learn on her own.

She gave him a weary smile, leaning back with her hands before. Her back arched up as she stretched stiff muscles. "Of course you do! But, only because I love you so much." Tiraris winced and then sighed when her back gave a loud pop as it realigned. "How can you expect any woman to focus with your demigod physique so close and enticing?" she teased, bringing up old memories.

Tiraris' humor died with his next question. "Alright. It all wears on you. Progress is so slow, I wonder if it is worth it at all. So much wasted time." Groaning, she laid back into the sweet-smelling grass. A cool breeze helped to calm her frazzled nerves. Unfocused eyes watched the clouds crawl across the sky. "What have you been up to?"

His eyes followed every movement: the arching back, the stretching. Yes, she looked really good sitting out like she was now. The initial sore feeling was forgotten as appreciative, violet eyes roamed over her. Demigod...physique. So she hasn't stopped liking me...I think. Right? I mean, that's what she means, right? It doesn't matter, she's talking to me and that's all that matters...for now.

"Of course it's worth it," he began slowly, eyes finally seeming to find her own, a knowing, wolfish grin lighting his face for the first time in...well, a long time. Stepping closer, he folded himself down to sit beside her, perpendicular to her lying form. "Things will change, you just have to keep working at it, love. But me? I..." Caden wasn't sure how he was going to come up with a lie for this, she hadn't been asking him this in previous times, so he was rather shocked that she was interested in things away from the now.

Slowly, he reached out a limp hand to brush against her own. "Just been mucking around, really. Missing you... Mostly missing you," he admitted, which was the honest truth even though he wasn't going to indulge her with any details about where he'd truly been. "Did he say anything about how long it'll take? ...how long do you think it will take?"

Her head turned to face him. Tiraris hesitantly moved her hand to latch on to his own. "I miss you too," she admitted softly. Frustrated, she shook here head bringing her gaze back up to the sky. "No, he has not said. Many days I wonder if he really knows what he is doing. The way he looks at me Caden...nevermind," she finished, shrugging her shoulders.

For a moment she just continued to stare up at the clouds. "I do not know, Caden. I just do not know. The tasks he has me doing seem to stress the magic more than control it. But, then I can not tell if displays like you just saw are because of the passing days or what he is having me do." She gave his hand a tight squeeze, letting go when an electrical spark fired through her.

"Sorry!" she apologized, crossing her arms over her stomach in defeat. "It is getting worse, is it not? I did not used to do that. I did not used to hurt you when I touched you. Caden, what is wrong with me?" Despair rushed through her.

"The clouds are pretty today. I have not cloud-watched since I was a little girl. That one looks like a dragon," she told him, pointing up at a one of the clouds. A faint smile tugged at her lips and she looked over at him from the corner of her eye. 'I am sorry, Caden. I wish things were different for us. I wish you did not have to stay away or live fearful that every time you come to see me I will either rip your head off in anger or blow you up by accident. I wish, I wish.'

The way he looked at her? Caden wasn't sure he wanted to know the details behind this, but the mere thought had a low growl beginning unconsciously in his throat. He was about to respond, about to try and soothe her worries when he felt a sparking, stinging jolt pass between their hands. It tingled along his arm and an odd mix of emotions coursed through him with it.

His hand still smarting, he let fingers fall limply to brush the grass beside her now instead as she closed herself off from contact in folding her arms. He felt a bit bad for that, though, and wasn't sure if it was truly unwanted or if she was just afraid of it repeating. "Nothing's wrong with you," he tried to assure her, smiling sadly. It was one filled with regret for their seeming inability now to be close in much capacity. Tiraris's topic changed rather quickly, though, and the demon glanced up to the sky where she was pointing.

"Clouds." Caden had been hoping they could have done something else together. Even taking a walk would have been better than sitting there unable to be as near as he wished to be, he thought. Uncurling his legs, he scooted over to lay beside her in a gesture of defeat. "I guess so. A dragon. How about... that one over there? It kind of looks like a house, yeah?" he asked, fairly sure now that he wasn't going to get to actually talk about anything very serious with her now.

"Yeah," she sighed, falling silent. Tiraris wished she could enjoy this quiet moment more. Yet, there was so much left unsaid, so much that was riding on her right now. 'I see him so little and this is how I spend the time? I wish I could touch him. With so much to say and so little time, what can we talk about? I do not want to argue but, this silence cannot be good for us. It feels like with every time we meet we become so much further apart.'

She tried to smile, turning her head back to him. "Caden?" Tiraris hesitantly called to him. "Did you-or I mean, what...nevermind." Her face fell as she gave up, unable to express the questions on her mind. 'So much for trying to talk to him. Nice Tiraris, very nice! I just want to talk to him, how can that be so difficult?'

Steeling herself, she tried again. "What were your aspirations before you meant me? What were your hopes and dreams? What did you want out of life?" On her stomach, Tiraris' hands clenched nervously as she waited for his reply. 'Please see I am trying, Caden. Please see that. I really do love you. I just want things to be safe between us. I want a future, with you!'

Despite how things had ended on their arrival, Tiraris was trying to be more open, to give as much as she took. But, it was more difficult than she ever imagined. For every thing said there were a thousand more left unsaid. 'Whatever it is you dream Caden, I will make it come true. Somehow, I will make you happy again. I will see that you smile like you used to instead of looking so incredibly sad. I will fix this. I promise!'

The calmness of just lying there with only the sound of the wind running  through the valley was nice, if sparking a bit of discomfort. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with it, but he was beginning to feel the heaviness of unspoken things around them. Even feeling that was better than fighting, though; anything was better than fighting again when they already had so little time together as of late.

For Caden, it had been so difficult to remain even marginally distant. Now that they were close, though, he found himself not wanting to break through the outer shell once again. He'd already been shocked in greeting and he'd seen yet another display of her magic. He wasn't out seeking to die today. She had settled them into such a simple and humble task that he'd begun to wonder if it might be some unconscious gesture that she needed a serious break from the reality of her training. From what he'd seen, she'd been fairly uneasy in his "absences". It was she that broke their silence, though.

Turning his head when she called to him, he studied her face curiously as she fumbled for words. It was unlike her, he thought, and, being so close, he hadn't missed the change in her expression. "Did I...?" he prompted, unsure of where she'd been going with it. Tiraris's real questions gave him pause, though.

It wasn't unlike her to jump quickly between playful and serious and all around, but what she was asking now was something he'd thought might come up sometime later, or even never, but certainly not now during her training. "Me?" Of course, he knew it was for him.

Caden watched her face for a moment longer before he turned his head to look up at the sky as a hand came up to brush his hair over one shoulder instead of letting it fan out like it had been. The reasoning behind it was unknown, other than curiosity, but he felt she deserved to know whatever she wished to know of him. "Just keep living like I was, I suppose. Trying to avoid my family, too, much as that wasn't and still isn't working. For a long time I really hated my sister... Truly hated her. My parents I just... I'm not really sure. When we all sort of...diverged, I was much younger and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Ever. So I just...went with whatever came my way. For a long time." It wasn't lost on him that he'd kept his family history fairly veiled and always vague in his wordings. He still didn't much enjoy talking about them, much as they were all very much family by blood.

"I'm sure you already know quite a bit about me, or at least what was going on before we met. That's how I lived for a long time. For the thrill. For titles and fame -or infamy-, and I had to. My sister already stirs up enough dust on her own for us -my family- so I suppose my only real aspiration before we met was to lie lower than she was and not get hunted, jailed, or killed.

"But dreams... I wasn't even sure if it could still happen. Us, I mean. Matches are rare. I'd already decided that if it ever happened, if I ever found mine, that I would just want to have a full life with them; you, now. What that means for us... I just want to live as long and fulfilled of a life as we can together. Probably not much of a 'dream', but it's all I want, now. I've thought about where it might land us. What it might lead to. I guess...things are different now. I actually care about what happens, you know?" Caden took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a long moment, realizing just how much he'd said by now, how long he'd been talking. It beat tense, silent and aimless cloud-watching in his book, that was for sure.

"We've never really talked about this... okay, never. Um...what about you?" his voice was suddenly cautious, though he made sure to clarify, "Now, I mean. Is there anything you're hoping for? What do you want out of your future? Or anything you've sort of... always wanted, hm?"

'No dreams? You really do not need me, do you Caden? Maybe I should not try for this. You would do better without me dragging you down. You were happy before me. You say I am your match and yet, when I see your face I do not know what to believe. You are not happy with me, that much I know. I want to see you happy again, Caden. How do I do that? How do I make you smile and laugh? I know you used to be so playful before you met me. Now you are nothing but on edge. This is all my fault. I wish I knew what to do to fix this.'

"Me," she sighed wearily. "I do not have dreams anymore. Not in a long time at least. When I was a little girl," a faint smile lit up her face, "I was a spoiled little brat and I knew it. I had everything I could ever want. I was the doll in the dollhouse and mistook the outside world as the one pretending. I never realized how wrong I was, until I tried to get married. I had lived a life confusing my mother's dreams for my own. Each marriage was a failure and a mark against me. Then, I figured it out. It was not me, it was her. I lost hope with the death of my seventh husband. I gave up dreaming with the death of my eighth."

Tiraris slowly sat up and faced Caden. She refused to look at him but, began to hesitantly play with the hair on his shoulder. As she spoke she weaved it around her fingers and into braids that she would just as quickly undo. "When I, killed, my eighth husband I stopped being song-weaver and became soul-stealer. I was no longer Tiraris, but Terror. The woman I was died, and the woman I became was born."

Finally, she looked over to Caden albeit, sadly. "When I am with you, I start remembering what I used to be. I miss that. The mask I have worn so long is finally falling. It is slow and painful, but I think the end will be beautiful."

She licked her lips nervously, but refused to move her gaze. "So what do I dream of, Caden? I dream of you. For the first time in my life, I do not feel like being selfish. All I want is to see you happy again. It kills me to see how I torture you like this. But," she trailed off giving a long sigh. "I do not know any other way. But, I am trying because I love you. I do Caden, love you. I really do."

Sharing a teary smile, Tiraris leaned over to give her love a kiss. Her hair pooled around them like a red sunset and her smiled widened. 'Our own little world.' With closed eyes she gently pressed her lips against his. An intense spark of pain raced through her and along her lips, sending her head shooting back in surprise. Gasping, she brought her hand up to rub her tender skin. Her face looked so vulnerable as she danced on the verge of tears. 'I am a blight on his life. He would do so better without me. All I do is hurt him.'

The picture she painted of her younger self was saddening to hear. It also did to remind him that he knew so little of her still except her character and what he'd gathered on his own as well as what she'd chosen to tell him thus far. It was a peculiar situation to be in, for sure, especially when he himself wanted to share more personal things with her and found himself unable to go through with it when the opportunity was presented. Thinking on it brought him back to their most recent outburst. Her words then rang so true to him.

Their relationship could not stand forever if they refused to patch the holes their secrecy with one another kept open. That was there problem, he thought. There were not just small cracks and rough edges, no, there were also gaping holes that they had constantly been tip-toeing around all these months. Partial stories. Partial thoughts and affections shared. At least on his part, he knew he had to work on these things if he ever had a shot at being together with her for good and actually feel secure in knowing she knew all but still chose to be there.

It bothered him to see himself so hesitant to be forthcoming with her, but it was not missed upon him that Tiraris shared just as little as he. The cycle needed to be broken, somehow, but just how to do it was something he wasn't sure he was ready to face. It was desperately wanted, though. To share with her. To know she was just as open. For him it was a matter of who would take the leap first as opposed to constantly switching around who dipped a foot in the murky depths. Was it even safe for them? What would happen when they did? Would it be anything good or something they both might regret?

Listening to her now, though, she sounded so sad even though she spoke of what she hoped for. It was ironic to him that Tiraris wanted parts of her past back, to return to a place where she could be happy while he could not move away from his fast enough and most of what he was going through was new. It stung to hear her say what she did. He didn't think she tortured him, but it pained his heart to know that she knew just how unhappy he was with their current situation. He knew he saw things differently, but to what degree he did not yet realize.

It had been nice, however, to feel her fiddling with his hair; such a comforting thing with her when he could not stand any other coming near it. Watching as she leaned in now, though, he hadn't missed the tears that seemed to pool in her eyes. "I know... It's okay," he whispered, trying to offer some small reassurance for the apology he felt from her words. Hoping to finally have a quiet, relatively peaceful moment with her, though, he'd soon closed his eyes and gave a brief smile as the light coming through his lids was shuttered by the curtaining effect of her hair. The moment was so bittersweet. Literally.

It was so tender, but only for the briefest time before he was feeling the searing pain zapping him. This time it wasn't just a spark but something much larger, as if her magic could not handle being disturbed in the slightest by him. Fingers immediately flew to his mouth, touching hesitantly at the now extremely sensitive flesh, his eyes snapping open to see her back above him now and looking terribly sad. "Tiraris," he mumbled forlornly, his voice kept low as the stinging of his mouth kept him from really speaking properly. With fingers still poking at the different sore spots along his lips, jaw, and neck he slowly rose to sit himself up, if hunched over a bit now.

"Uh... That wasn't supposed to happen, was it?" Caden tried to smile for her, forcing his lips to curl even though the slightest movement still hurt. "I'm sorry, love... I am very curious, though. Why do you think that you 'torture' me? Is there something that I'm doing to make you think that? Do I really look all that bad off?" Finally lowering his hand, not wanting to worry her with persisting to touch, he reached out to her now instead. It hovered just at her upper arm for a moment before light fingertips brushed down along the length of her arm instead. Violet eyes flickered as he searched her face, wondering if he was doing more harm than good.

Still holding her lips, Tiraris shook her head as she tried to fight back the tears. "You call that," she pointed at his lip, "pleasant? I am hurting you, Caden. It is not just emotional now. It is becoming physical. Your actions are not what make me believe I am torturing you, love. I am not stupid. You used to smile a lot when I first met you. Yet, every week that goes by those smiles get less and less, until now they are even rarer than my own."

Hissing, she flinched away from him. Expecting pain, she was surprised when none came. Tiraris hesitantly settled into his light touch, casting nervous glances at their joined arms. She was waiting for her arm to suddenly burst into flame or self-combust from his touch. "I know Caden. You cannot hide it from me," she finally stated looking away from their arms to his eyes.

"I know how much us being apart kills you because I feel the same. Every time we see each other is more painful than the last. I never know if I can let you go again. You never know if it will be the last time you ever have to walk away. Every time I see you I want to beg you not to leave, to let me give up because I cannot stand the separation any longer. But, in my heart I know I must continue so that we can have a future together. It is just so hard Caden. I do not think I am getting any better. My power is stronger and my control is weaker. What good is teacher if the student does not learn?"

Tiraris let out another sigh and pulled a grumpy face. "I just-I feel-you know?" Her own incoherency made her chuckle. "I have come to far to fail. I just do not know what to do anymore. I feel so very much on edge all the time, especially with you gone. But, having you near makes me nervous I will," she waved her hand to his face again, "hurt you again. I know you are big and tough, Caden. But, how good does it make me look to force you into being that just so you can survive kissing your match?" She shook her head and flailed her hands in a sign of defeat. "I-I do not know anymore. I just do not know."

The increasing rarity of his smiles was something he himself hadn't noticed, but he had to fight the disappointment from learning this critical tidbit of information about her -that she noticed something like that about him and was bothered by it- from showing on his face. At least, he tried to fight it. He didn't like that it upset her so much, but he knew, too, that it wasn't just the lack of smiles, but their underlying problems.

He hadn't expected the shying away. Even though every touch had caused some sort of shock and pain, it made him feel just that much more hollow inside. She ended up bouncing back, though, and that helped, but he was unendingly cautious as his hand finally made its way down to gently clasp her own hand now before letting it fall altogether. He hissed in sharply for her statement, thinking at first that he'd definitely been found out, but either she wasn't going to expose him yet or didn't know what he'd been up to.

Caden felt guilty hearing her speak of "seeing" each other, or rather, the lack of seeing one another. He knew he couldn't blame his behavior on much of anything more than simply being territorial. He could have been good. He could have stayed away, a week wasn't going to kill him. Hell, a month wouldn't do the job. If it ever wore on, though... well, he wasn't sure he wanted to think about that. Instead of focusing on the mentioning of time, he zeroed in on the real issue at hand. "You can't give up," he barked, eyes narrowing just the slightest for the idea.

He knew if she ever did then they could say without a shadow of a doubt that months of their lives had been wasted. Wasted on searching. Wasted on trying. Wasted on arguing and fighting and being unhappy with their situation. Wasted what days there might have been peace for them. "I'm not going to deny that this is hard, Tiraris, but you have to do it! Maybe it's all part of the process. Maybe it's just how it has to be done."

Sighing, Caden reached back to lean against his hands. Closing his eyes for a moment, he focused on just the movements of air as he breathed and remained that way, body locked tensely, for a time. "I know it's a concern of yours, but I'm tired of hearing how worried you are of hurting me. I'm not fragile. I probably wouldn't be able to completely defend myself from your magic, especially as it is now, but I am not helpless. You know what I am, I know you do, but I don't think you understand just what I've gone through." It occurred to him as he spoke, though, that any mention of it had been brief and not detailed and that any knowledge she didn't have wasn't her fault, but his. Caden didn't care, though. At least, not right now.

"Magic is powerful, both good and bad. I know... And as far as kissing you..." he finally opened his eyes again and adjusted himself to lean on one arm as he raised a hand to poke at his chest where his scar was hidden under clothing, "I don't care and you aren't forcing me to be anything. You've done worse than zap me, love, and of your own choosing, too. But, don't forget I've seen it used for good as well."

Lowering his hand, he flopped back into the grass again, just staring up at the sky now, teeth gnashing together as he mulled over the crudeness of his language. "Love... I'm sorry. Things are just... hard, like you say. But I refuse to give up or see you give up. If you leave it partially done then you'll never know what will become of it. Unless it's a matter of...needing a break. Though, I don't know how good that would be for your studies... I don't know, either.

The choice is really yours. This is your life. Your magic, body, mind and heart. Do what makes you happy." Caden was blatantly disregarding the heated statements he'd made about not letting her leave and just how much he'd been contradicting himself, but all he said harbored his feelings on the matter. If she gave up, he knew there would be little he could do to help her on his own. Support her, sure, but there were wounds he could not heal and damage he could not undo.

"I'm sorry this is so stressful," he finally offered after another dip into silence. "Nothing worth attaining is ever going to be instantaneous or easy, love. It's up to you, though, to decide what you want." The presence of the mage peeking through a window from the hut at them went entirely unnoticed behind him, as did the pleased gleam in the man's eyes as Caden's own were trained upon Tiraris.

"Would you like me to come around more? Or maybe just...stay?"

Tiraris had been willing to hold her tongue up until the point that Caden reminded her of the scar that marred his perfect body. He practically through it in her face that she had injured him before. She felt her heart breaking and tears quickly welled up in her eyes. Her lowered and her hair closed around her face like a silken curtain, hiding the tears that were close to falling.

'What do you know about how hard this is? How can I understand about you Caden when you refuse to talk about the past? We spend so much time living moment to moment and talking about an impossible future that we never bring up the past. How can we expect to go further forward when we ignore our roots? How can you just make statements like these and just lay back down like it is nothing? You remind me of how badly I have hurt you and then just leave it like that? I do not understand you. I wonder if I still want to.'

"Do what makes me happy?" she asked angrily, her voice hiding the tears that fell. "How can I when I can no longer remember what being happy means? I know Caden that this is not going to be easy or instantaneous. I am not a fool but, that does not make it any easier for me suffer through it. Telling myself that is a very different matter than living it on a constant basis. You cannot put this pressure on me alone. This concerns both our futures. Unless this is your way of saying you are done with me, you need to help me in this too. Caden, I cannot always make all the decisions, especially not when they affect us both. I cannot always be strong. Yet, I feel like every time I try to open up to you, you do this. Are we in this together, or not? Do you, or do you not want a future with me in it?"

Growling, she burst onto her feet again and crossed her arms turning her back to him. The tears were falling so hard now that her body began to shake from the effort to keep them silent. "No, Caden. I do not think it is a good idea if you stay. Then we are just at the beginning again." Tiraris threw up her hands and bit her lip. "I do not know! I just do not know." She turned and faced him, her face red from crying. "Caden I-" she stopped, looking up and placing her hand over her mouth as she just openly sobbed.

She no longer cared if he saw. She was done being strong. She was done caring anymore. Yet, as her gaze raised she caught that of another. The mage was watching them. For reasons unknown to her this man made her uncomfortable. If he had not been her teacher, she would have killed him already. But, whatever knowledge he had about her gift was enough to keep him alive, for now.

Remaining where he was, Caden refused to react as she bowed her head. Even when she stood, too, in such a burst of anger, he laid there just staring at the grass. Things were being stressed, the tension on the line so, so very dangerous right now. It was hardly any time at all before the next trigger tripped.

All in a rush, Caden scrambled to his feet. For the briefest moment his expression faltered for the obvious tears upon her face and the sharp noise of her sobs but that wasn't going to stop him now. Things needed to be said. Things needed to be made clear. His brows narrowed as he stood unmoving. Still arms hung at his sides but he made no move to touch her yet, and he just stared. "We're going to have problems if you keep questioning what I've already committed myself to a thousand times over. Do I really give you reasons to say such things? Have I not already stayed at your side these months?"

He thought he knew what she was getting at but his mind was already clouded with his anger that he was ignoring it, for now. "I've had it, Tiraris. This is utter bullshit." He held her by her shoulders as he closed the space between them, his arms coiling around her tightly, possessively. His head pressed against hers despite however much she might struggle. "I don't want to hear another word of this crap. I've given you so much of myself! I've tried! I hate all this fighting with you!

"You can't just ignore what's been done! Hurt me all you want. Make me suffer. Do whatever you want to me! Tell me anything! Ask me anything! Nothing would ever kill me as quickly as not having you anymore. I'm not leaving. I'm never leaving! But we need to fix this! You need to stay here! Learn, dammit! I'm not going to stand here with you after all this time just to let you fail!" Despite his best efforts, he could feel his fangs poking at his tongue now, and his eyes had already changed from the much softer ones of a human to the wilder, brighter ones of the demon.

Every word he spoke cut her more deeply than the last. On the one hand, this was what she had asked for. Tiraris had wanted Caden to more vocal and aggressive about what he felt and desired. Yet, on the other hand she could not help but feel crushed by his attitude.

His caging embrace brought forth no reaction from her, save to make her sob harder. Fire surged through her veins demanding blood but, her heart would not allow her to harm him again. 'As he is fond of reminding me, I have done enough of that already,' she thought as her body shook from the effort of containing it all.

"Of all the flaws I have, of which I admit there are many, at least I can say that I do not share yours." Tiraris' voice hardly rose above a whisper, her tone carrying a weary bite to it. "At least when my loved one tries to talk to me I actually listen and focus on the important part instead of the poorly phrased one." She gave a defeated sigh and shook her head. "I am not going to argue with you right now Caden. I have a lesson to finish. Perhaps when we are both being more rational, we can better discuss this."

Leaning up, Tiraris pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek before turning to pull away. 'You are an idiot Caden! I am not talking about leaving and I am not questioning your support. I am tired of you pointing out that I have brought you pain. I love you and have never wished to hurt you, not even when I did.'

He knew she was crying, but his temper was rearing its ugly head, boiling up inside of him even as he tried to keep it calm. "Rational? We need to sort this out now." But she persisted, pulling away and ready to go off again like this was not happening with them right now. The kiss felt so fake, light, and like she was just trying to placate him. It was acknowledgement and abandonment all in one.

At first, his arms were slipping away from her."What are you talking about?! I want to talk. I'm trying to talk about this, and I'm not focusing on any one thing!

"How can you ask to talk later? Rational? Really? We're talking about it already and we should talk about it now! There's no reason for all of this running away from it. You keep running away from me. Kiss me and run away. Send me off again so you don't have to talk to me for a week. No. We are going to talk about it. Now. Right now." He, of course, had nothing to back him up besides his anger. No better time than the present? No. It wasn't reasonable to expect anything good to come of it now that they'd both become so heated.

Now, he was reaching for her again, hands already trembling with the threat of his claws burning just at the surface. "If you won't talk to me, then I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried. I really have. I give you what I can and you just hide yourself away with it all, like I don't deserve to hear what you have to say. I'm tired of it." He wasn't seeing how big of a tantrum he was throwing, but his voice had gradually been turning more throaty, a growl snaking under his breath.

Tiraris did not miss the cues Caden was giving. She took shallow breaths trying to stay calm even as her beloved threw a temper tantrum that bordered on mania. His growling tone, shaking hands, and pointed teeth all warned her of just how close to danger she really was.

His arms raised out towards her though, did not entice her to run back to him. Rubbing her face wearily, she held her ground. "What do you want me to say, Caden? What do you want to hear? We go round and round in these never-ending circles. I do not know why, maybe it is out of fear, or maybe it just does not feel right at the time. I do not know. But, Caden please. I am so tired of fighting. I am begging you, just do not start this now. Please," she begged looking up at him with watery eyes.

"Caden I do want to talk. I agree we need to talk. But, I just do not know what to say. What do you need me to say that you think I am not saying?" Tiraris let out a small huff air and let her head fall down to her chest. "I am afraid. Is that what you want to hear, Caden? Do you want to hear how I am afraid and feel so alone even with you at my side? I feel like I am doing this on my own and that I cannot ask you for help. I do not know how. I cannot just go from being so incredibly independent to fully relying on another in a matter of a few short months. Damn it Caden, I said I was trying and that this was a problem before! I have been saying this all along and you have yet to do anything to help me with it. I do not know what to say to you; I do not know what I can say to you!"

She fell silent once more, shaking from the effort of containing the magic. The tears continued to fall but, anger was quickly rising in her heart. Tiraris hated this back and forth cycle of arguments they always seemed to have. She was tired of it all and tired moreso of not knowing what to do to prevent them. Each breath she took was taken slower and shorter than the previous until she was nearly not breathing at all. Her control was holding for now, but who knew how much longer she could continue this.

It wasn't that there was anything in particular he wanted. Just the smallest thing would have been enough for him. They could have talked of anything, easy or touchy in this, but all he really wanted to know was that she would stay through the end, that she would keep going. Her words just kept cutting at him, to hear some of her fears voiced, to hear that she felt alone nearly sent him over the edge right there.

Caden wasn't angry about her saying these things at all but rather knowing how little use he was to her in this. "I never had any expectations for you to rely upon me, " he growled as he took a slow step toward her, his lips parted slightly to accomodate his fangs and fists balled tightly at his sides. "And being independent doesn't mean you have to go along without any support either." Seeing how tense she was, though, and taking note of her shallow breathing, he took yet another step closer while watching the tears continue to streak down along her cheeks.

"We cannot keep going on like this," he said slowly, lowering his eyes as he felt the pinpricking pops all along his left hand, which he quickly unfurled again so as not to impale his hand as the claws appeared there. Holding it up for her, fingers splayed wide to display them for a moment, Caden just shook his head in disgust with himself before snatching his hand back down as he turned away. At first he was angled for the woods and the mage's hut, but he quickly corrected himself and pivoted again to brush past Tiraris, wordless save for the persistent growl under his breath, so he could head back toward the road.

Every step he took forward was warily observed but, Tiraris was not about to back down. "Caden you are missing what I am trying to say. I want support. I want to be able to rely on you. But I do not know how. I-" she fell silent as the soft pops of his claws coming through interrupted her. She wanted to reach out and take his hand in her own when he showed it to her, but he was quick to hide it.

'Caden, what am I doing to you? This is all my fault. I am dragging you to the brink and holding you over it all the while saying "it is okay, just let go." I am a fool.' She watched him turn away from her for only a brief moment before she was right on his heels.

"Caden. Caden, please," she begged reaching out for him. "Please do not go, not yet. I want to talk!" Her hands finally latched onto him, one grabbing his elbow and the other pressing against his chest. However, it would be a move Tiraris would regret for years to come, for as she touched him the thin control she had over her magic, fractured.

Strong, painful waves of crackling energy ripped up from her core and out through her arms. She gasped sharply as the pain of the contact she made with Caden became unbearable. As quickly as she could, Tiraris let her arms fall away. Sobbing in horror at what she had done, she dropped gracelessly to her knees. Rocking back and forth she loudly bawled her eyes out, clutching her arms to chest. She could not even form intelligible words to plead forgiveness from the one she loved.

ooc: [Warning: Some graphic content ahead.]
ic:

Her pleas reached his ears, but the demon was already determined not to let this take a turn for the worst, as he feared it was about to. He footsteps behind him had him tensing up and as she felt her hands grip him he was just beginning to turn his head to look at her when it happened. Time seemed to slow down.

The initial jolts of pain were the worst. Rippling shockwaves of heat, of splitting pain slammed through his body at every point they touched. His arm felt as if it were on fire and an unusually familiar bubbling heat felt as if his very skin was boiling. The air around them crackled and his ears were full of sizzling, popping noise as well as the rest of himself instinctively changed to demon form even as it was yet to be free from her grasp.

A hum rang in his ears even as it was over as he stood for the briefest moment. His face twisted into three things: excruciating pain, a blaze of anger at her sobbing, and then a more understanding frown to realize that it was all just accidental. Those things flickering over his expression was all he had time for, though, as he crumbled to the ground, his body shaking as wave after wave of phantom pains ripped through him as the entire right side of his body felt like it was splitting open in a million places.

A strangled growl was the first sound that broke through as he slumped over onto his non-injured side. Looking down at himself he could feel the blood but the mess of obliterated flesh, the torn muscle, the notch of exposed bone near his elbow was immediately covered as he snatched the sleeve of his shirt closer around himself cover and hide what had just been done to him. The right side of his chest was a mess of puffy, burnt skin that radiated out from a center where her palm had been just moments ago, but that too was something he tried to cover up with what parts of his shirt were untarnished. Had it really been all that fast? Had it only been that short length of time and not the excruciating minutes he'd thought it had to have been? Yes. Just those few, critical moments had marred him now forever.

Right now he wasn't thinking about the future. He wasn't thinking about the additional scarring that would be left for this now. All he could hear was her sobs behind him and all at once he was desperately trying to roll over onto his back so he might see her. That, too, was a mistake, though, as moving at all increased the burning sensations and pinpricking pain tenfold. Finally flopping down, though, his face was tense with pain of both physical and emotional varieties as he looked upon his match with such an odd mixture of sorrow and understanding in his eyes.

Caden could not bring himself to speak, though, the very act of beginning that leaving him hissing in every shaky, shallow breath and groaning for the throbbing zaps that still reverberated in his mind to manifest with every movement he dared to make. Shaking his head slowly, he clenched his eyes shut as he forced himself to sit up a bit. With his torso twisted so that his injured side was turned away from her, he reached out yet again for her. "I'm okay," was what he could muster to whisper, albeit shakily still while trembling fingers reached to brush the ends of her hair. "It's okay, love."

Tiraris shook her head frantically from side to side even as she pressed her forearms closer to her chest. "No you are not Caden. You cannot be alright! I am so sorry. I did not mean to, honest. Here let me see. I need to know how bad it is. Please Caden, I am so sorry. I know it must hurt."

'It has to hurt, Caden. You cannot lie to me when my own hands are red and raw from it. Gods above, what do I do to you? How you must hate me for things like this. I warned you I am dangerous, a monster and yet you continually insist you are strong enough for me. I hope that is true love. I certainly hope that I have been mistaken about this matter, for both our sakes and sanities.'

Her hands reached out to touch him and then recoiled backwards when she realized what she was doing. 'I just keep hurting him. If I touch him again I could kill him. I must not all ow that to happen.' She dropped her hands into her lap, wincing only slightly as the tender flesh was jostled about.

"I wish I could help you Caden. I am sorry that I am so useless and that I cannot even control the magic. I will try harder, I promise. I will not let this happen again!" Tiraris' expression was both pained and hopeful. While she had no idea to what extent she had harmed the cat demon, she did know that she had caused him pain and discomfort. This incident was enough break her heart and make her hate herself more. 'I swear to you Caden, if I cannot fix this then I will end this! I will not see you suffer again. You have done too much of that already for me. I am so sorry Caden, so sorry.'

"Tiraris, please. I'm really alright," Caden pleaded even as he brought his injured arm more closely against himself and kept his front angled away from her to try and keep her from seeing anything, especially the blood he still felt seeping down his shirt as it begun to stick uncomfortably to his skin. Seeing her reach for him, though, another twinge of pain tugged at his chest at the reminder of how this had just happened. He wasn't going to turn her away, though. He never wanted to do that to her.

"I promise I'm okay, you're not useless. I shouldn't have-" He was cut off by the presence he saw just beyond up the hill.

The mage stood there with crossed arms for a moment, just watching them before he stormed down to the injured pair. "What do you think you're doing?! Making her waste it on you! How am I supposed to work with her if you're constantly coming by?!"

Caden narrowed his eyes and just shook his head before turning with an apologetic frown to Tiraris. "I'm sorry, love. I... Don't worry about me, just focus on your training," he urged as he very carefully got to his feet, desperate to still keep her from seeing as he dizzily made his way back toward the road yet again, swaying just a bit as he went along. Feeling Feichin's eyes upon him still, he was just as desperate to get away now, to hide so he could actually get a good look at what had just happened without her learning the extent of the damage he already knew would be there.

Tiraris made to beg further when she was silenced by Caden's distracted gaze. Looking behind her she was infuriated to see her teacher. His chastisizing her love quickly stop the flow of her tears as fury took their place.

She nodded to Caden and rose as he did. The assassin was not as observant as usual and never caught the way the cat demon wobbled about on his return to town. She was far more focused on how angry her teacher was making her. Turning on her heel, Tiraris let an older manisfestation of her rage show through.

A coating of large red and orange flames wreathed her body as she glared the other man down. The blaze whipped out like silk on the wind towards the mage before recoiling back into Tiraris. "He is my partner in this life. If you wish to live long enough to meet your own, then I suggest you watch how you treat him," she growled out between clenched teeth.

Not waiting for a response, Tiraris stormed past him and back into the small house. Her hands burned, reminding her of the pain she had not only caused herself but, Caden too. Kicking the door shut, she settled herself down on the tiny uncomfortable cot and went about nursing not only her hands but her heart as well.

'I need to get out of here. I am far too on edge to continue on like this. I almost killed Caden several times today. That is more than usual and I fear this is only getting worse. My promise to him will stand; I will continue to learn but, I need to get out of here. Tonight, tonight I will go and see if there is any prey that needs hunting. I feel like a caged beast here. If I go at night then I can probably avoid running into Caden. After today's ordeal he will probably rest. This is so trying for both of us. If I can just calm down and stay that way I can probably advance farther in my studies. I can do this, she nodded her head decisively. "I can do this. I will do this, for Caden."

Every step he took was wobbly at best and once he'd gotten far enough away that he no longer cared how he might look from afar and practically dragged himself off to the woods once he was at a safe enough distance. This time, though, he wasn't strong enough to make it all the way back the round-about way to the mage's house and ended up staying pretty much along the road's edge just barely within the trees. Without his pack there was nothing he could tend to his injuries with now besides what parts of his shirt hadn't been burned already. He wasn't scared of looking at the damage, but he knew it was severe as he sat himself down among the leaves scattered upon the ground.

Peeling off his shirt elicited another wave of pain, even through what numbness had struck him by now. The whole right side of it was ruined, but not as much as his flesh. The surges crashing through him wouldn't allow him to change forms back, so he was also stuck trying not to further injure himself by way of self-impalement as tried to get a look at the already swollen sections to see how bad it really was.

Catching a flash of some bone among the raw and red wreckage all along his arm and torso, he groaned and just laid himself back, teeth gnashing every now and then as he tried to ride it out. Everything hurt right now, even his good side. Though he'd never gone into shock in his life, he was pretty sure that this had a good chance of sending him that way soon if nothing was going to get better. He was a demon, yes, but something this critical was still going to take a long time to heal on its own, he thought.

Remembering the bright anger of the mage just had his fangs grinding. Caden didn't like how he'd yelled especially seeing what had just happened, but his thoughts quickly turned to Tiraris. The tears he'd seen, all of their arguing and how horribly mortified she'd looked not that long ago. Much as things had been both of their faults, he knew he'd ignored a lot of her emotion today and cut right to the point that they weren't ready for. He could acknowledge this much, but not much else was really coherent now as he fought to keep himself as calm, still, and collected as he could be laying there with gaping holes in him. Even as the sun was setting he couldn't bring himself to alter his position but, once fully under the cloak of night, his mind had calmed enough to allow himself to retract the dagger-like claws.

The coming of night made Tiraris calm as the promise of a return to familiar ways whispered on the wind. She heard the mage come inside not long after her but ignored him and his doings. She had no interest in him for now. Deeming it at last dark enough, she quickly shimmied her way up and out of the room's tiny, drafty window.

The moment her feet hit the ground, Tiraris was off, running along the edge of the forest like a fish through the sea. The thrill of the impending hunt, the cold wind robbing her of breath and tugging at her hair, and the snap of her muscles as they remembered old ways brought a slow unheeded smile to her lips. 'It has been too long, far too long. Sorry dearest-' Her feet faltered slightly as she tought of Caden and how this would constitute as a betrayal to the silent promise she had made him. 'No! No apologies, this night is mine.'

Aquiring a trotting pace, Tirais diverge further from the treeline and close to a familiar house on the outskirts of town. "I wondered when you would come crawling back to me," a velvety voice whispered from her right. She whipped her head in the direction and dropped into a crouch. "You're getting sloppy, Tir. Mage got you spooked?"

Tiraris recognized this man as a figure from her past. The pair had run into each other on occassion over the years but, it had been several since she had last seen him. Flowing easily back into a perfect posture that most noble's would envy, her smile turned to a smirk as she approached him.

"Roderick." The two clasped forearms and kissed each other's cheeks. "You know I cannot stay away long."

He smirked back, glancing past her shoulder to the woods behind her before looking back down at her. Leaning close, he brushed his fingers through her hair and whispered in her ear. "What brings you here little songbird? Mommy dearest has been looking for you."

"Why else do I always return? Leave mother out of this. I do not care what she has to say," she replied, cocking her head to the side to pull her crimson strands from his grasp. "What is the news on the streets?"

"That you got yourself a new pet. Did you know that your little barn cat has been skulking about?"
"What are you talking about? Have you seen him in town? Is he causing problems?"
"You mean you haven't noticed? He's been a lot closer to home Tir. Poor thing is besotted, me thinks. Although," Roderick smirked, running his hands up and down her arms, "I must say I'm impressed. Your powers have gotten stronger love. That was a most impressive light display you offered today. You didn't used to be strong enough to do one display of magic let alone the three of the magnitude I observed today."

Tiraris' nostrils flared, whether it was at his words or his actions, Roderick could not quite decide. "You have been spying on me. I thought I told you to keep away from me."

"As you have said before dearest, how can I stay away for long?" His entire expression was that of a man so in love that he was physically hurting. A long figered hand came up to cup her cheek and trace her lips with his thumb. "Do you remember?"

Swooping in Roderick tried to steal a kiss but, Tiraris was quicker. His lips grazed her cheek just as she pulled away. "I remember," she wishpered back sweetly. 'I remember the screams of your passing and I remember the horror of knowing you lived again. I remember the first time you told me you loved me and I remember how superficial it sounded. I remember thinking three times' a charm and I remember being proven wrong. Aye Roderick, I remember. Probably better than you, I remember.'

Tiraris smiled and bid her former husband goodbye. She never saw the smirk he sent into the woods or the way his eyes glowed in challenge before he disappeared inside his home. Instead she was more focused on furiously wiping the kiss off her cheek and rubbing her hand on her pants, as if doing so earsed the action from her memory. More sedately than how she left, she jogged back to the mage's house and back through the window. Her last thought as sleep claimed her was of the future she wanted to create.

A few hours had not been nearly enough time to even begin to ease the pain. In fact, he reckoned it'd gotten worse since the argument earlier in the day. At least he couldn't directly look at it anymore, but because he was fairly glued to his little spot in the woods he was so much more aware of things. Every little move, even breathing, hurt. His hearing was so acutely aware of his surroundings now, though he really didn't think he had much reason to worry of something attacking a him in a semi-demon form, at least not physically. Emotionally? Yes, that was another issue entirely.

Those footfalls were so familiar to him by now that Caden was willing to bet it was Tiraris he could hear coming down the path. For a moment he readied himself to call out to her, to muster up the required strength, but he didn't understand why she might come to him now when he'd just been sent away. That was just it, though. She wasn't coming this far out of her way for him. It was the footsteps that tipped him off yet again; she was going right by him. He hadn't expected that at all. Still, the whole situation seemed so odd considering how violently the mage had reacted to her being distracted before. Has she killed him? he wondered. Hearing a stranger's voice in the distance was all it took to tip him off, though.

It was male and foreign to him, yet the owner seemed so familiar with Tiraris and her situation, from the sound of things. Unendingly curious, Caden collected himself enough to drag himself closer so that the voices he was hearing might be just that much clearer.

There were greetings and a name now to place to the voice. Trying to look through the brush at the exchange in the distance, though, he was startled to hear something he hadn't at all expected. It was a tongue he did not recognize, and it frightened him to realize that it appeared to be spoken by both of them.

Most of the conversation went entirely over his head, but what words he could catch from them were not at all to his liking. Return? Wait...her mother? ... She knows him. 'Dearest'? No, there has to be something wrong... She's not saying anything against it! What are you doing, Tir?!

His face had long since fallen. There was something here he didn't understand, couldn't even begin to understand. It was a mystery to him, a total secret. Who knew how long these...meetings, whatever they were, had been going on? Thinking back, he wondered about her now; all the time she'd had mostly to herself with him just watching at the sideline: what was really going on? Were things really as uneventful as they'd seemed?

Most of what he could gather from their exchange was that they had a past of some sort, that the two had been getting together previously in some manner. Raising himself up a bit with his good arm, he looked out upon them, or at least Roderick's back that he could see. It got him wondering. How much did he truly know of her? What other important details had yet to be mentioned?

All Caden could see was this stranger leaning in closer when he was already much too close in his opinion. Then, she was leaving. What had happened? What had they really just talked about? He so desperately sought the answers to these and so much more. Of course he wasn't powerless. He could have gone over, he could have forced himself back up,  but he would have been a fool to go to them when he already wasn't supposed to be there in the first place. Something else was catching his eye now, though, even moreso than the blur of her going back down the road again he so sorely wanted to approach and demand answers from right now: the eery smile of Roderick and the way his eyes flashed bright even in the darkness. All too soon, though, he was gone.

There would be no confrontation, at least between the two of them this night. Much as he wanted to, he wasn't strong enough yet. It burned to even think about it, to merely contemplate moving any more than he already had done. His eyes followed Tir as far as he could, though, and he was disappointed to not hear any more speech from her now.

He thought it so odd, that short encounter, but right now it was not within his power to do anything about it. It would have been the bullish thing to be cocky but now he wasn't willing to take the chance of being killed right then and there for the mere thrill of provoking the stranger. He also wasn't going to chance anything when he already felt so crushed and constricted in his thoughts on their situation and what current ability he had to change anything. No, he would wait for at least his wounds to heal for a little while, get himself patched up somehow even if he would have to manage such a large undertaking on his own.

As Tiraris slept soundly, hobbling footsteps were softly crunching their way towards Caden. "I knew I'd find ye here," a gravelly voice sounded in the night. "Ah there," the old crone groaned as she sank to her knees beside the demon. "Me old knees aren't quite what they used to be." The woman winked at Caden, giving him a bit of a toothless grin.

"She did quite the number on ye didn't she. Warned ye she would give ye trouble. But, do ye listen? No! Ye never were one to listen past ye own primal desires. Not that I mind." Winking again, she reached into a sack beside and began to pull out a various array of dried plants and small ceramic pots.

A mortar and pestle began to grind together everything together under the care of the woman's wizened, tremoring hands. "Now ye just lay still and ol' Heilwig'll fix ye in a jiff! Jus' need ta see the damage she did this time." Pulling the shirt away from the wound, she grimaced and shook her head. "Foolish child," she muttered under her breath.

Fully engrossed in her work, the woman began scooping up handfuls of the thick paste and smearing its black grit up and down Caden's injuries. When the concoction would get too thick she would spit into it to moisten it before continuing once more. "There now. Le's jus' check an' make sure tha's the last of it." Smiling once more, the crone moved quickly despite her age and slipped her hand down the front of Caden's pants.

Caden had been wide awake. Really, he had no other option than to be as he couldn't really find any comfortable position to sleep in as he was right now. The voice of the old woman startled him enough to have him scrambling to try and get himself up and moving, but that just wasn't going to happen right now. As the crone made herself visible, though, he realized he knew her, or rather remembered her from just a few weeks prior. Yes, the woman that had gotten him so angry with her riddles.

"What do you want?" he asked, settling himself back down for the flare of fire in his side. She talked about his injuries, but how she knew of their incident he didn't know, or perhaps she was just bluffing entirely. He could not say for sure. He did have it in him, though, to give her a look for her insinuations. "Heilwig...?" Somehow, that name sounded familiar to him. Very familiar. Where had he heard that before?

Eyeing her cautiously as she mixed her concoction, Caden visibly flinched as it was applied to his wounds, groaning as the stuff burned and irritated before any soothing came about. "Why are you helping me? I got hurt, yeah, but how would- Hey! NO! No, no, no, no, NO!" Caden's face went from grey to stark white in a matter of seconds as he flung his free arm over to wrap firmly around the woman's wrist. Eyes bugging, he continued to yell, "Don't even! She never-! I didn't-! There's absolutely no reason for you to worry about any of that!"

Caden's eyes were wide and unblinking as he snatched her away from him, namely his pants. He would have liked to think he wasn't entirely defenseless. "Don't do that! I have... I have someone, um, what was your- ... Heilwig..." Setting her hand aside, he rolled back flat onto his back in a sorry attempt at regaining some sense of comfort with his current injuries. "Ouch... You know, that name... It's really unique. I think I once knew a woman by that...or maybe it was just similar... But why are you trying to help me? Why do this?" he asked, gesturing to the mortar and whatever might have remained. "If you...acknowledge that I should have listened to you, then why come to me now, hm?"

Heilwig pouted as her hand was caught in Caden's grasp, but she did relent. Smiling secretively, she went about putting away some of her herbs and taking out others. "Seems someone is forgettin' past conquests," she smirked. "I'll be fair though and remind ye that back in me youth I had curly waves of vermillion hair and according to ye an ass that put the moon to shame."

Standing up, the old crone turned and wiggled her rear in Caden's direction, winked over her shoulder and hobbled over to one of the pine trees. "You just try and relax dearie, I'll make something to help ye feel better. As for why I help ye, call it for ol' times sake."

It did not take her long to gather what she needed. Pulling out a waterskin and filling a jug with its contents, Heilwig added the pine needles and a small, green, serrated-edge leaf. "There now," she tutted, handing him the mixture, "drink this, it should help ye feel better."

Another toothless smiled was offered as a reassurance but, it was more likely to scare Caden than make him feel more comfortable. 'One way or another Heilwig'll get ye to relax Caden D'Andarce. I needs ye to listen and you're more likely to do so after the catnip takes affect. Oh yes, ye always did enjoy that a great deal.' She sat, observing him and waiting for him to drink so she could begin discussing more pertinent topics such as Tiraris.

For a moment, Caden's face was entirely blanking for her words. A past conquest? He was usually very careful about clearly severing past connections, but he had no idea she even still lived and it had been...well, a very, very long time since he'd last seen her if she really was who she said she was and he was remembering correctly. Though, he wasn't going to count on the latter entirely in his current state.

"Relax? How is a man supposed to relax when this" -he gestured to his damaged half with his good hand- "just happened?" The prospect of something to make him feel better, though, got his attention; even if it was just empty words, he didn't think it could get much worse for him at this point.

"Fine," he called over, resting his head back down in the grass again before continuing on snidely, "So long as you can keep your hands to yourself." Caden kept his eyes on her anyway as she added things, though. He couldn't be too careful at this point, but unbeknownst to him he was about to get hit with something he hadn't experienced in years: catnip.

When she returned he took the jug cautiously and leaned his head up to sniff at it just to make sure that there wasn't any more obvious poisons in the concoction.  Glancing over to her once more after she sat by him and nodded before taking a swig from the skin. It had a familiar taste, but he had yet to recognize it and kept on drinking. It was going to hit in just a few minutes, but he'd already had plenty to get milder versions of the reactions it always triggered in him. Thinking back to their first meeting as of late, though, he found he was getting curious all over again. "So, how do you know about...us? Or, how do you know her? Tiraris? You said some things, and most were not all that nice. You said... You said that I'm going to die. Why? If you are...her you know well enough how long I have lived."

The old woman sat patiently, waiting for the drink to take proper affect. Until then she was more than willing to give a bit of background that would later lead into exactly what she wanted to discuss, Tiraris' magic. "I know many things, as many as ye has forgotten it seems. Tirry is well known 'bout these parts, caused quite the series of scandals in her youth, she did. She nearly puts ye to shame in that department for creatin' a name of oneself. Knew her mother and father personally, her real father that is, knew him quite well, since he was a babe in fact."

She paused eyeing Caden up before shaking her head. "Finish the tea dearie, you'll get no betters without it." Deeming him capable of following her instructions she continued. "It is not ye's life expectancy that concerns me but rather the potency of thy lovely's magic. She'll kill ye. She proved herself quite capable of that tonight. Look at yeself Caden!" A gnarled finger pointed at the injured side. "Imagine what she will be capable of in a month, a few weeks, a day. Her temper is legendary here. I'll bet me teeth this ain't the first blow she's dealt ye, nor will it be the last. Ye wants to live, ye needs to listen to me! Can ye do that?"

The demon narrowed his eyes as he couldn't really do much else at this point, stuck as he was. He didn't like hearing about how dangerous Tiraris was; he already knew and just chose to ignore it for the most part. Still, he couldn't fault the woman in her accuracy, especially since she claimed to know her, or at least about her. Finishing his tea, he flopped a tired arm down into the grass as the mixture began to work its way into his system; it was already too late for him to change the outcome.

 "I don't care if she hurts me if that's what has to happen. It isn't her fault that she has to deal with these things. Say..., how do you know her, though? Her famil-" That was when he felt the familiar warm, bubbly feeling in his chest. All in a rush he lifted the jug to his face again, pressing his cheek against it as he took a few big whiffs. Then, he turned wide, wild eyes on Heilwig. He couldn't bring himself to speak further at first, too shocked that she'd done what she just had to him.

Internally, he was very conflicted. His throat trembled with the onset of his purring, the slight movements tickling the sensitive parts of his side in a mildly uncomfortable way. This was really more for his hypersensitivity, though; he was so aware now of all the things around them. Caden felt every heartbeat, felt the slight rushing of blood through his body as it was moved along. He felt every light prickling of grass against his back and every gust of wind along his skin. Looking up at Heilwig, his eyes were already extremely dilated and his purring picked up in volume at the sight of a potential attention-giver. Even the light pulling at his hair as he turned his head was causing a pleasant tingling along his skalp. At the same time, though, having ingested most of it was getting him feeling all mellow, but the former effects were definitely overpowering any of that at this point.

"You... Give me more," he begged, holding out the jug to her as he pleaded, "I haven't had- in...years- I want more!" With his good elbow he tried to turn himself, desperately trying to inch his way closer to her, pathetically tilting his head towards her in a sorry attempt at getting pet.

A smile broke out on her face as the catnip began to take stronger effect on Caden. "Oh there, there dearie," she cooed patting him on the head and taking the jug from him. "Just give me a minute and you can have more, I promise."

Moving with a speed and grace that only came from years of working her craft, Heilwig had a new mixture ready for the purring demon in no time. Unbeknownst to him, she had substituted a rare purple flower in place of the catnip, ensuring that within the hour he would be forced into a healing sleep. 'He won't heal on his own, poor dear is always too worried 'bout her. But, he's good for her, that's what counts.'

Slowly and carefully the old woman picked her way back to Caden's head. Sitting down, she commanded him to lay back so that his head rested in her lap. Fingers, warped with age gently began to comb through violet locks and scrape pleasantly against his scalp. "Now, if ye wants the drink, ye needs to listen to me good and well. If ye sips it slowly and pays extra attention to me warnings, ye can have it now."

Not intending to keep it from him, she firmly pressed the jug into his hand. "Now listen and listen well Caden D'Andarce, this will save both of ye's lives. her magic is strong, stronger than even that of her teacher. He is of no benefit to her and only destroys what control she has. Ye must convince her to leave. Ye understand? She must not continue! Her bearer knows where to find the teacher. She keeps asking for ye to lead, now is yer chance boy! Tell her what to do, tell her to go to the real song-weaver. Ye must do it! Ye must promise! If she is to live, if ye loves her, ye must save her and guide her to her true teacher. Only then may there be a chance for peace for ye both. No other way is there but this. Doth ye understand? Doth ye accept?"

Caden could only nod enthusiastically, his eyes trained on her as she went about preparing more for him. He had not a thought that he was being tricked into something else entirely, well-meaning as it would be. He listened to her, though. He didn't even care that she was touching his hair and, in fact, it felt amazing as he settled himself down for the attention.

For every request he just replied with short "mhm"s and "uh-huh"s. It was mindless, his eyes continually wandering to the jug he wanted back until she gave it to him. When she did, he went right back to drinking what he thought would be something to prolong his current state, as inappropriate as that probably was with how injured he was at present.

As much as he tried to pay close attention to her, though, Caden was much more focused on how good it felt to feel all warm and fuzzy again. "Convince her...okay. Yeah, I understand. Peace... This is my chance, huh? Okay. Alright. Yeah, I'll do it," he agreed, no longer caring much for the details of how she fit into their lives now.

"Will I get any more?" he asked hesitantly, looking forlornly at the small amount remaining of his drink.

"Aye ye greedy thing. Ye can have more. But, this is it! Any more and ye'll be hurtin' yeself. Can'ts be having that now can we?" Heilwig ran a soothing hand over Caden's good shoulder and gave it a friendly squeeze. Thankfully she had had the foresight to take her pack with her when she had got up and would not have to deal with the cat demon having a fit at being moved.

Halfway through making the tea she found herself unsure of her next move. 'Do I add more of the passion flower? What quantity is needed to knock out of his kind? He isn't out yet. Could too much kill 'im? It's addictive but me doubts he'll have to worry 'bout that.' Her decision was made for her when her shaking hands accidentally released the entire flower into the jug. Wrinkled, pockmarked features paled as ancient eyes watched the flower dissolve. 'That answers that question.'

Heilwig leaned down and gave Caden the jug. Her lips came to rest beside a delicate ear. "Heed mine words demon. They mean ye life," she warned, already knowing that his attention was elsewhere. Sighing she placed a parting kiss to his brow, reminding him to rest and that she would be back soon. In truth the crone had no intention of returning. She knew better to be here when he woke, he would be far, far beyond unhappy. 'Next time me see her, Heilwig'll give her lots of catnip. She deserves a break and he needs a good cuddle.' A faint cackle muffled itself behind the healer's hand as she made her way back home. "They're in for quite the surprise!"

He wasn't going to deny that he was greedy, but he also wasn't about to admit to it when he couldn't hope to settle his thoughts on any one thing for more than a moment now. Even with the second mixture already getting into his system, he wasn't feeling it yet. What comfort he could have gotten from how careful she was being with him, he hardly noticed. He was fixated upon the jug, though, until it was returned to him. As soon as it was, he was back to drinking again.

"Mhm," he hummed for her warning, not much caring anymore that everything was beginning to blend together. Nothing bothered him now: the pain, the attention, nothing; He was drowning, yet floating. To her parting words, he just hummed more acknowledgement, refusing to bring the sweet poison from his lips. He didn't care when he was moved, just went along with things, but he found that once she was gone and he kept on drinking something was changing.

He slowed his pace, for once but far too late, and breathed in a big gulp of air that practically split his side. Yet, it wasn't hurting. Alarmed, he lifted his head and looked down at himself. Even with the salve coating his skin he felt nothing. In fact, everything was slowly beginning to feel dulled. His heightened senses from the catnip? Disappearing. What increased sensitivity he'd gained before was rapidly dropping away now to an almost numbness.

It didn't help that he'd gulped down everything far too quickly. A whopping dose of the flower was hitting him now and he didn't even know it. As he threw back the rest of the stuff, he found he couldn't even feel the cool liquid upon his tongue now.

Setting down the little jug in the grass was more like flopping his arm down and hoping he didn't smash the thing to bits. Everything felt heavy. He couldn't keep his eyes open no matter how hard he tried. And, finally, just there in the grass, Caden was forcefully thrust into sleep. It was deep and the more the flower was taken in the deeper it pushed him down. His mind was locking him in, refusing to let him surface. And he wouldn't surface. Not for a long time yet.

As she promised, Tiraris kept up with her studies under the mage and worked hard to learn control over her magic. It was trying work and often left her feeling more and more drained and less in control. But, she was starting to see progress, her outbursts were less and less. The fact that when they did occur they were several tens of times more powerful was lost on her.

The first week that Caden did not show just served to remind her that she needed to work harder. 'He is probably letting me have some space so that I can get through this quicker. I did tell him that he is a distraction.'

Week two came and still no violet-eyed cat demon. 'Really Caden? I give you a little shock and this is how you shun me? Jump off a cliff!' It was more worry and concern mixed with irritation and not anger that drove her to believe such biting thoughts.

However, there was no excuse for his not showing by the third week. The weak, hard-earned control she had acquired over the past two months was lost. Her hurt and rage roared out of her literally. As she screamed a wave of fire spat out, consuming the clearing around her. By the time it settled the entire swatch of land was scorched.

Grabbing up her sword and armor, Tiraris stormed past the mage and did not return for the next week. Instead she visited Roderick during the night again. Their pleasantries were exchanged in a much more biting manner. What playfulness she had felt on their last visit was currently being drowned in the desire to spill blood.

Roderick was quick to give the assassin what she wanted, a handful of different challenging jobs that were sure to keep her busy for a time. Much blood was spilled that week as Tiraris took her anger out on anyone who got in her way.

By the time a red sun rose on week four, she was feeling much calmer but no less filled with rage. Week four was spent meditating and waiting. This would be Caden's last chance. If he did not show this week then she was leaving and never returning to him again. But, if he did return, he was in for a world of hurt. The woman with eyes and hair the color of blood was seething beneath the surface, waiting to explode.

It certainly wasn't a normal sleep, but it felt like one to Caden. He hadn't had any dreams. He hadn't awoken for anyone passing on the road just beyond or the rains coming in that had washed away the salve in the later weeks. Yet, the moment he finally coming to he was distinctly aware of something wet pressing against his face and a raspy tongue against his neck. His nose was filled with a terribly musky smell as well.

Groaning, narrowed his brows and swatted at the thing only to find his hand dully thumping against thick fur. Wet, thick fur. Sopping wet. Pulling a face, his eyes shot open as he heard the snuffling whines and felt the rooting of the nose still pressed against him. "...dog?" Yes, a dog. A wet dog that didn't seem to want to take up any space other than the one directly adjacent to his face. To top it all off, it was still raining.

What clothes remained on him were soaked but oddly enough he felt very warm even as icy droplets fell from the leaves above. His hair was soaked as well, well and truly plastered to him. Everything was sore, though. Every movement took something out of what little reserves he still had, and he felt horrible. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tear into something, bust down a few trees...among other things.

Pushing himself up to force the dog away, though, Caden looked up to what sky he could see through the branches. "I don't remember it being so...cloudy. They're so dark." He wasn't even aware of how long he'd been out for. It felt like just another day, or night, he wasn't sure by what he could see of the sky just yet.

What details he remembered right now were fuzzy at best. The words of Heilwig were mostly lost upon him right now and he'd be lucky if he could later recall more later. One thing he could remember, though, was her silent promise to return to him and he couldn't help but notice she wasn't there, unless she'd somehow turned into a dog in his sleep. The jug was still there, though, and it triggered something in him enough to remember how wonderful he'd felt before he was out.

There wasn't pain, though, not outright at least. Everything within him was sore now from going from minimal use to finally up-and-running again, and as he worked his way up to stand he found his joint were terribly stiff as well. Looking down at himself, though, he was stunned to see that the bloody mess of before was gone. Instead, a mess of haphazard scars streaked across his skin visible even in what dim light there was. He noticed his arm first, a well-defined dimple was set at the heart where there had once been exposed bone. His gaze flickering over to his chest and side, too, where a mess of jagged streaks blazed across and down to his waist on the right side.

Caden's chest felt tight as the sight of it forced him into manual breathing mode and, in panic, he looked accusingly at the dog. "How did this happen?! She was just here! Did she...did she use some kind of healing magic or something, mutt? Huh?! Did she?!" Of course the dog didn't answer, though, just wagged its tail to flick even more water on him. "Eugh... Go back to your master, I need to get inside," the demon complained, turning toward what buildings he could see on the outskirts of town. Problem was, he pack was still back near the mage's home. By now most of its contents were probably ruined or soaking wet, but he didn't realize just how long they'd sat there yet.

Heading into town, he returned to the tavern they'd stayed at before, being the only place he remembered being familiar with, and snuck his way up the stairs. Picking a random door, he cautiously went into a room that, luckily for him, was currently unoccupied. On the dresser was a dagger and slung across the back of a chair was a cloak with water still dripping off the back and hood. Sucking in a breath, he waited for a moment, just listening to the silence before he was certain he was safe to be stealing from here. He hoped whoever's stuff this was they were downstairs and preferably drinking.

He took it upon himself to finish what he'd come for. Rummaging through the knapsack by the bed he found a roll of clothes tucked away that he all too hastily changed into. He tucked the dagger into the belt and then shook out what water he could before pulling on the cloak as well. Though it wouldn't do to keep his hair dry from the rain outside, he still brought the hood up as he exited the room, if only to hide those distinctive violet locks, and quickly made his way back downstairs. Without a moment's pause as he hit the landing, he was out the door and right back into the cloudy darkness again.

He was back on the road again, back down the path he knew by now would take him to the mage, to Tiraris. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain this, how he'd managed to heal in just a day or so, or so he thought for now. Something felt off, though, and wrong as he finally rounded the last bend and could see the hut up the hill. Things felt so distant and unfamiliar even in the rain and he couldn't explain it. Approaching the door felt off and as he stood at the entry he hesitated to look behind him at all the way he'd come before reaching up to firmly knock against it a few times. "Tir? Love, are you there?" he called.

The footsteps approaching the door had been enough for Tiraris to recognize them as Caden's and to move away from the house's shadows to approach him from behind. "Love?" she hissed. A dagger firmly embedded itself in the door to the left of the demon's head.

"You have been gone five weeks and that is the first thing you can think to say to me? Do not think for a minute," another dagger flung into the soft wood on the opposite side of his head, "that I will let you come crawling back here like nothing has happened! You are despicable. I hate you! I do not know why I listened to you. You do not give a damn about me! Promise to support me, then abandon me. How stupid do you think I am? How long did you think you could get away with it before I would figure it out?"

Her nostrils were flaring and her chest was heaving as the anger bubbled within her. "Sure pull the wool over her eyes, Tiraris will never notice. She is far too in love to care. Well not this time!" She raced towards him, clapping her hands down hard on his collar bones, thumbs moving to press on his adam's apple. "Who is she Caden? Who is the little tavern whore that has kept you locked away all this time? Hmm? You could not get it from me so you went somewhere else. Tell me!" Tiraris was screeching now as she drove her clenched fists into his shoulders.

As soon as he'd turned his back on the road, she was there. No, he hadn't expected that. The singing of the metal was dulled by the humid air, but his eyes went directly to the dagger beside his head before he turned slowly to look over his shoulder again before turning around completely to press his head against the door. The screaming was startling and very confusing; Caden just didn't understand why she was so upset, but what was this all about? Five weeks? Abandon her? Figure it out? Yes, the demon was drawing a huge blank on all of this, entirely unaware of how long he'd been gone.

"Tir? Hey, calm down," he pleaded, his eyes flickering to all the signs of her bubbling rage as he held out a hand to her. "Wait, what are you talking about?!" But she already had him, though, the bite of her fingers digging in reached him even through the clothes and his
brows narrowed dangerously as her yelling rose to full-on screeching as she continued to find ways to punish him.

Eyes widening, his hands finally flew up to push her back and out into the rain before giving her a heavy shove. "What is wrong with you?!" he demanded. "It hasn't been 'five weeks' and I have no idea what you're talking about! Nothing! Stop trying to hurt me!

"...And I haven't had anything since we met!" he growled, shaking his head again for how, he felt, she was digging at his sore spot.

Tiraris stumbled back and slipped, landing flat on her back in the mud. The squelch her body made as she sat up only served to infuriate her further. "Calm down? Calm down! You idiot! It has too been five weeks. Five weeks without you and you just show up like it has only been a day or even a few hours! Where in the gods' names have you been if you do not know how much time has passed? You reek of dog and filth. Perhaps you have not been bedding women but that does not mean you have not been hanging around them."

Incensed and weaponless, she had taken to throwing chunks of mud at him. "Is this what I drive you to, drinking? If you cannot face it then tell me about it, do not just go wallow in your self-pity and make me worry needlessly for you! I cannot believe I wasted even a single moment of thought on you!"

The rain was pouring harder, further flooding the supersaturated clearing that Tiraris had managed to burn on week three. It took her a few tries but she finally struggled to a standing position, her bare feet sliding in the giving earth as she continued to hurl mud with perfect aim. "I hate you! You are worse than a barn cat with the way you grovel for affection and then crap on the person who dares care."

Watching her tumble into the mud had him regretting pushing her, but she had been hurting him, too, so he wouldn't say it was unjustified. Her words only did to further confuse him, though, what with the way she kept going on about it being five weeks since he'd last turned up. Saying that he smelled and that he'd been with other women wasn't helping the situation either, and he just wasn't grasping why she was so upset with him. Then, she started throwing mud at him.

The first hit him right in the chest and even as he moved around he couldn't seem to find any spot she couldn't reach as she continued to scream at him, throwing even more claims in his face and he just didn't have any idea what he could say right now that would make a lick of sense to the both of them. As she stood he just watched how she slid around, thinking her quite ill-prepared for not having any armor or shoes or weapons besides those blasted daggers...but, then again, that was probably fantastic for him right now.

This was the last straw, though. She was saying she hated him, again, and he couldn't help but think it might really be true now. She wouldn't stop with the insults, though, and there was no inkling of a lost puppy in his eyes anymore as he stared her down. Fists at his sides and eyes narrowed against the rain and her, Caden had had quite enough by now.

Lunging for her and slipping along in the mud as he went, the demon tackled Tiraris and tried to do his best to keep her down. "I have no idea what you're talking about! I just woke up! I just-" Little things were coming back now, little reminders of his condition, of brief memories before he went out. For a few moments he was vulnerable, totally off-guard, and his expression had fallen. There had to be a reason she kept at it. Maybe she was exaggerating, but it would explain why he felt so weird when he'd woken up all the way up until now.

"I haven't been anywhere," he tried again. "There was the woman again...what was her name? I felt all...amazing inside, she gave me- And then it was different and I felt all weird and loopy and... Is it possible to sleep for...however long I've been away?" he offered, thinking the words ridiculous as soon as they'd left his mouth.

His moment of weakness was her moment of strength. Small hands came up caked with mud to yank on his pristine violet locks of hair and force Caden underneath her. With all the training of her assassin days, Tiraris drove her knees down on top of his arms and wrapped her tensed fingers around his throat.

"You lying sack of shit!" she screeched, grabbing him up and slamming his head back down with a sticky plop. "You just woke up! You said you were not with a woman and now you say you were. Nor is this the first time you have seen her for you have just admitted that you saw her again."

Infuriated, Tiraris let go long enough to scoop up more mud and shove it over the demon's mouth and nose. "Oh I bet she was amazing! Just you wait Caden D'Andarce, I warned you before that I would castrate you. Consider now my cashing in. You are vile and disgusting! I cannot believe I let myself be trapped in by your lies. You are a monster!" Her fingers tightened further as she truly tried to choke him. It was an unexpected miracle that her rage was not amplifying and fueling her magic which lay peacefully dormant within her core.

By the time he realized what was happening it was far too late and he had an angry, red-haired, wild woman pulling on him and pinning him quite securely to the slick, sticky mud. All those little protests went entirely ignored as she pressed him in and latched onto his throat. When his head was slammed back down again he was dizzy and all he could do was frantically push at her wherever his hands could manage to reach. Those efforts even seemed fairly fruitless, though, as his mud-coated hands failed to grasp her time and time again.

"Tir, wait!" he pleaded wheezily before she was smearing mud along his face, the thick stuff getting into his nose making an already difficult job of breathing even harder as she continued to try and choke him. At this point his hair was effectively ruined for the day, a fact he would usually lament, but it was too far beyond saving at the moment and he had a livid woman still trying to kill him. An observation he found peculiar to note but would not have time to reflect upon until later, though, was that his right arm barely felt the crushing force of her upon it as his left did. Though, he supposed he should be thankful it did not sing with the pain it had before.

For all her cruel words and threats he felt his heart sinking even with the lack of oxygen in his body right now. Under her vice grip he was growing red-faced and could only splutter whenever he tried to bring in a, quite literally, strangled breath. He no longer cared that they were in the mud and was bucking wildly, trying anything he could to shake her or get her to loosen up. "-ir! PLEASE! -ust wait! I...-EXPLAIN!" he screamed, albeit weakly. Twisting and turning, he tried to throw her and he finally landed himself quite firmly on his healed side to immediately jumped back from her. Lifting a hand to press against his burning throat, he coughed against the pouring rain, struggling for a moment to regain his breath. "You're taking this all wrong!" he begged, violet eyes narrowed against the rainwater threatening to drip into them from his eyelashes.

Tiraris let out a cry of frustration as she was knocked to her side and Caden was scrambling away from her. Scuttling to a crouched position, she also tried to regroup. She eyed him warily, unsure of what to do as he began to plead with her. Nails dug into the tender flesh of her palm as she curled and unfurled her fingers in and out of fists.

"You have one minute to explain everything and I mean everything Caden D'Andarce. After which I will castrate you with my bare hands. Your minute begins now." As she spoke, Tiraris was trying to calm her anger long enough to listen. But, even her heart rebelled against her and demanded blood. 'He better have a damn good reason for leaving me like this and showing up like that. Otherwise I will not be responsible for my actions.'

Bringing in ragged breaths, he laid fairly motionless for what time he was afforded as she gathered herself and gave her final ultimatum that promised punishment whether or not he cooperated. He definitely didn't want to mess this up. Yet, he was still not entirely aware of everything that had happened and really could only speak for what his panicked mind could recall right now.

Still trying to get his breath, he ran a muddied hand over his neck and hair only to find himself thoroughly coated in the stuff. At least the rain would help with that, soaked as he already was, but he was going to try his best to tell her while still omitting the fact that he'd been injured so badly as well as what he remembered of her exchange with the stranger. "Look, all I remember is... That old woman from before...on the road? The one that warned us? She found me and helped me out the day I left; I was stuck out in the woods because I managed to fall and get myself hurt pretty bad. All she did was help me, gave me some stuff to ease the pain, I guess. And then..., and then I don't know what she put in it, but before I knew it I was out. I guess...I've been sleeping. Sleeping since then, and look, I know it doesn't sound very likely, but nothing else happened.

"I woke up to a damn dog in my face and I wanted to get back to you and apologize for what had happened. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'd been gone, I swear," he begged, finally able to get up to his knees. "If I had known... If I had been able to do anything about it, I would have. I'm sorry this happened." Honestly, he was still having a hard time grasping that he might have actually been asleep for five weeks. If he ever saw Heilwig again...she would have a lot of explaining to do.

Images played through Tiraris' mind as she listened to Caden's recounting of the past five weeks. She remembered the crone from before and wondered what she said to him, if anything.

The assassin waited until he fell silent before adding her voice to the conversation. "You are lying to me Caden. I do not appreciate that. You fell? May I remind you that it is you who is constantly telling me that you are not fragile and that I am not capable of truly harming you. By this logic a fall could do nothing to you. If however, I was to believe this I can tell you right now that any herbs that would be used to heal you from a fall would not have the strength and potency to put an newborn infant to sleep let alone a full grown Neqa'el for five weeks!"

She shook her head, viewing him in disgust. "I am done with you," she finally exclaimed. Turning, Tiraris tried to rise to her feet only to sleep and fall back down in the mud. Again and again she would try to kept up only to eventually fall back down after a few steps. The last time she gave up and stayed down. The rain poured down harder, washing away the mud on her face and arms, but overall making her feel as grimy on the outside as she did on the inside. 'Gods above, why did I think he would be different?'

He winced for how effortlessly she saw through his lies, but he knew he deserved it. Still, he wasn't sure exactly how he was going to explain that, actually, he'd been in agonizing pain and unable to move because of it. Caden just sat and watched her with wide, sad eyes as she tried to leave, though. He reached a hand out to her as she kept falling back to the sticky mud sucking her up, and he tried to move closer after her.

How was he going to explain this, though? How was he going to tell her that she'd hurt him? How was he going to explain that he wasn't resentful, even? He didn't even want to know what she was going to do if she saw the scarring as he had before, dim as the lighting was with the rain coming down like that. Clambering up to a crouch, though, he made a quick decision that he hadn't wanted to make so soon, what with all the trouble he'd gone through to acquire clothing to cover himself. "You're smarter than me. You're right. It wasn't a fall... I'm sorry."

Caden hesitantly reached to unclasp the hook at the neck of the cloak, as if taking things off neatly would prevent them from being further saturated by the rainwater. Setting it aside, he reached behind himself to pull the stolen tunic up over his head, though he was slow about pulling his arms out of the protective cover of the longer sleeves. Finally bare-chested, though, he felt particularly vulnerable in a way he never had before as he straightened up his torso enough to look down at himself, to show her what he'd refused to the day of her outbursts.

Mud ran down from his hair, but he wasn't paying any attention to it anymore. He could only stare at her, eyes pleading that she would not be able to make out the worst of the jagged lines dancing across his skin. "She was helping with this," was all he said, pressing a hand into the mud to steady himself as he finally got back to his feet.

Incensed that he was still trying to lie to her, Tiraris snatched up another fistful of mud and turned to pelt it at him. However, she froze the moment she caught sight of his bare chest and the scarring that lay upon it. The mudball fell from her hand with a dull splat. Everything in her mind became very still and quiet.

She stared in silence before rising to approach him. Every movement she made was slow as her eyes never left their target. At the last moment she slipped, landing on her knees before him. Tiraris made no move to rise. Her hand came up to gently run across the injuries like a lover's caress. Inch by tiny inch fingers moved up from side to chest.

'What happened? What did this?' played through her mind. 'This is no animal's doing. What could cause such damage? He always says he is so strong. If this is true, what manner of being could do this?' Her hand came to rest over his heart, fingers splayed. Something caught her eye, something clicked in her mind and she rose to her feet. Placing her hand again over his heart her other bumped against the scarring on his arm and then she understood what she was seeing.

The marks all branched out from where her hand rested, radiating from worse to better. 'This is where it started.' she thought as a flash of memory momentarily blinded her. The chasing after him, the touching him, the pain, she remembered it all now. 'This is my doing. My magic did this to him; I did this to him. I am the monster that nearly killed him and left him to die in the woods like some animal.'

Deadened inside, her hands dropped away from him uselessly. Shamed and guilty, Tiraris began to walk away. She could not bear to see the proof of her own incompetence any longer. Her arms came to wrap about her as she fought the accusing tears. The once stoic assassin was torn; one half of her demanded that she turn right back around and beg his forgiveness, to embrace him and never let go, while deep within the mask of what she had once became directed her to flee, to hide, to disappear and never return.

She had made it a total of three steps away from him before she broke down and started crying. Her legs refused to carry her further and the only pride she could take in the matter was the silence and stillness with which the damning tears came. 'I cannot go forward and yet, I cannot go back. Damn me! Damn my birth and damn the monster that I have become!'

Caden waited. He stood very still and just waited as she came back. He wasn't very sure of what her expression told him, for he was quite sure he hadn't seen her like this before. When she slipped and fell, he reached a hand down for her, but she wasn't making any move to stand so he just bowed his head and watched as her hands moved up along the scars.

Not quite sure what to say to her, he remained silent as she did what she would. Even as she stood up his eyes followed her, though, still unsure of what to think of how lost she seemed for a reaction to this. Perhaps, he hoped, she couldn't really see how much there was. Perhaps she wouldn't think it a big deal and they could just accept it had happened and move on with their lives. Perhaps she wouldn't even realize what had happened, but that, he knew, was a longshot. He hoped that she might forgive him for trying to keep it from her initially and understand that it didn't bother him, much as he knew he'd said very little about it yet. He hoped the most, though, that she would not reject him because of it.

He just stood there anticipating her saying something, anything. An unsure hand came up to touch her arm, but as soon as her hands dropped so did his own. Not a word had been said and he now was unsure if he'd made the right decision. His eyes followed her movements as she went away, the way she pulled her arms around herself. The idea that this might have deeply bothered her now entered the forefront of his thinking.

Thinking this all had offended Tiraris, the soaked shirt he still clutched tightly was pulled back on only to cover the expansive marks again before he followed. Stepping carefully through the mud did nothing for his footing as the saturated ground all around them had him constantly wobbling and faltering as he went along. She'd stopped quite abruptly, though, and so he was thankful for not having to go traipsing through the whole field after her.

Stopping directly behind her, he brought his hands up to hold her arms. It wasn't hesitant, but he also refused to hold tightly enough to hold her against her will right now. "Love," he tried at her ear, "Please, can we talk? Look, I'm sorry I lied, I shouldn't have done that, but please?"

Her eyes slammed shut at the sound of his voice ringing in her ear. But, she could feel her resolve quickly ebbing away, weakening under his soft words and kind touch. "What is there to talk of? I hurt you, you lied to me. There is nothing to talk about. There is no trust left, no reason to continue. I am just going to keep hurting you and now I do not know if I can trust you. Now I will be forced to question your every statement for truth and lie just as you will probably judge my every action for a possible strike. It cannot go on like this Caden. Just let it lie, let it go, let it be done."

'How many times must I hear my heart break when I am with you? How many more times will it happen without you? Gods above Caden, I love you! But, still you drive me to the edge and back. How I must do the same to you a thousandfold. How you must despise me for it. My trust is as fragile as my control. It is better this way. It has to be. I cannot-I must not-but I will not!'

She emotionally threw his arms off her. What she had decided would be a step forward and away from him turned into a step to the side and towards him. She had to but look at him and her decision was obliterated by the pain in her heart. Tiraris let out a sobbing hiccup as she threw herself back into his arms. It did not matter now that this had happened before or that it was likely to happen again. It did not matter that her heart and mind were in conflict over the right choice. All that mattered was him and now. What she had decided could wait until later. For now she needed him, and him she would have.

He should have been furious. He should have been tearing into her for this, yet he did not and could not. Instead, her words got him tense and kept him frozen in place. What hope he'd had of this blowing over was crushed as she continued to cut into this already sore wound. Even amongst these raw, blunt rejections of him his face persisted in holding onto that look of a man so in love he could not bring himself to hate. Though his frown was deep and unmoving, his eyes held a mixture of fear, sadness and the sometimes slightly confusing love for her.

As much as he didn't want to just let this go now, he knew he had to. What happened when she turned around only did to pleasantly surprise him and, as he expected of himself, he found he could do nothing but bring his arms back around her. All that really mattered to him right now was comforting her and keeping her close.

Caden kept his arms tightly around her now, wrapping snugly to keep her close as he set his head atop hers. "Tiraris... I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, I'd thought it'd be easier if you didn't see it. I guess...I should've just told you when it happened, but I didn't want you to worry and I didn't want to upset you," he pleaded quietly, burrowing his messy face into her soaked hair.

"Shh," Tiraris silenced quietly. "No more words. Not now Caden. Later we can talk. For now just hold onto the silence." Her tears began to subside as she just clung to him. There was peace and hope in his embrace, something she had been forgetting over the past two months since she started her lessons. She brought her hand up to card long fingers through Caden's hair. The way it tangled and clumped in her hands reminded her of how muddy and wet they both were.

Part of her was begging Tiraris not to let go of Caden, not for anything. The other part was telling her to try and fix their current state, that it might help them both settle down. 'I owe him this much. We both have been through so much. If what he says is true then he could use a rest.' Having made up her mind, she slowly began to walk them through the muddy field and into the trees. At last they came to part of the nearby stream that was not completely waterlogged with storm water. A natural dam had formed from a fallen tree that had fallen sometime during the heaviest part of the storm.

She brought them to a seat beside the water and just continued to cling to Caden in silence for a while. Taking a deep breath, she let him go and pushed him to lay back so that his head rested on the bank of the shore and his hair trailed out in the water. "Relax," she whispered, running her hand up across his chest and neck as she waded out into the water. Tiraris sat in the shallow water and began gently combing her fingers through his hands, lazily watching the clear water turn dark as the mud was washed out of his hair off her. She took great care in her work, not letting anything else distract her from the simple task.

"I could understand not telling me at the time, Caden," she finally spoke, breaking her silence. "But, I do not understand why you felt you had to lie to me about it later. I thought you trusted me." Her words were not accusing, but did express her vulnerability and her fear. They had hurt each other deeply, perhaps now they could heal, or at least that is what she hoped.

Thankful that she'd stopped screaming at him, Caden obeyed and continued to hold onto her. He honestly wasn't exactly sure what to make of this situation now: Was she mad? Was she serious about anything that she'd said? He hoped they could figure things out when things settled down more; making decisions after such a violent, charged outburst between them wasn't exactly his ideal right now. It seemed, though, that Tiraris was willing to let things calm down for now, and as she moved along and away back towards the woods he remained with her every step of the way.

The silence was at least better than getting more threats slung in his face, but he was more than a little surprised that she wanted him to sit down. Looking out at their surroundings, Caden was pleased to find that the trees along the stream shielded them enough so that they were receiving next to nothing compared to the pelting they'd gotten from the rain out in the open. He, too, remained silent, though. He was both content to not speak and slightly fearful of its outcome right now.

When she began pushing at him the demon just stared at her with questioning eyes before obliging this silent request and settling himself down along the bank. Tilting his head back to look up at her and just watch as she waded into the shallows, he frowned for a moment at the thought of her remaining so chilled in wet, mucky clothing. She seemed to only have one request, though, and a simple one at that, so he did his best to try and calm those racing thoughts swirling as well as his pounding heart.

Her ministrations were comforting enough, but just lying there only served to remind him of how muddied he was and how much it made his skin crawl. Reaching a hand out, he splashed a few lazy scoops of water over his face to try and get the worst of the grit from his eyes and nose while she spoke again. Shivering a little, he angled his head to the side a bit more now to look her properly in the eye as he tried to figure out how to word an acceptable answer when she'd reacted so violently not that long ago.

"I do trust you, Tiraris. I didn't think it should have been a priority for you right now with your training and all, so I thought it would have been best to wait until it was necessary to know. You shouldn't have to worry about me right now, I should be taking care of my own problems and, yet, here we are again." Averting his eyes now, Caden made a point of fiddling with his clothes, trying to feign that they bothered him somehow to bide some time.

"My judgment isn't the best," he continued, biting at his lip a bit as he still wondered if five weeks was an exaggeration or the painful truth even though he didn't like either, "And..., about being away... It all happened so quickly. I promise you I would have never chosen to stay away for that long."

Reaching out for her, trying to brush fingers against her arm, Caden turned over a bit so he might look at her properly; he needed to know, needed something for all the questions swirling around in his head. "Was it really five weeks? ...what's happened? Are you alright? How are you feeling with your...magic, now?" He tried to leave out his excitement over being this close already for this long and not, well, having a repeat of their last meeting yet. The hopeful side of him he'd been nurturing since meeting her wanted to celebrate this realization, but he could not know just yet how safe they truly were.

"Caden, you and I are a team," she said softly, combing her fingers through his hair. "If you had been in my place and hurt me, would you not also want to know what you had done? Would you not also deem it very important? Caden if I had known I could have helped you. These woods are filled with flora that could have eased the pain and healed the damage. But, I guess you did not need me to figure that out."

Tiraris sighed tiredly, letting her hands fall and splash lightly in the water. "Come join me love. We should probably get the mud off." Slowly, as if each move could have a terrible consequence, the assassin rose up in the water and waded deeper. "It is warm from the rainfall we have been getting, I guess.

She stopped at last when water lapped at her waist. Her toes wiggled in the rocky bottom as she stared down at them over her crossed arms. She was feeling incredibly vulnerable and kept her back to the shore so she could briefly hide this weakness from Caden. "Aye, five weeks you have been gone. Perhaps I could not have provided you with as good of care. But, I would still like to think I would have worried less. Then again, I might have worried more knowing you were hurt and I could not help you. Quite a conundrum is it not?"

Tiraris chuckled bitterly, choosing to ignore his questions concerning the past five weeks. 'I may not lie to you Caden but I will not tell you what happened.' Then because she realized it had been so long since she had last said it she whispered, "I love you." Louder she continued, "I am sorry for being cruel earlier. I should have listened to you first. That was wrong of me. I am sorry."

She did have a point and a good one at that. How would he feel if he found she was keeping things from him? Horrible. Betrayed. Angry. Heartbroken. So, how could he have expected this to not happen with her? They definitely weren't going to make progress if he refused to change what he filtered to her. Really, he shouldn't have anything that went unsaid between them, but she was so different from everyone else. Tiraris deserved to know and the idea that she would have helped back then kicked a sick, churning feeling into gear in his gut for having excluded her then.

Nothing was ever just that simple, though. There had been the mage. There had been her magic, constantly crackling and rearing its head. Caden knew he could not have guaranteed his condition's improvement under those circumstances and under what resources she might have been able to accumulate. Would he have died? Would he have been worse off than now or better or the same? One could not tell, really, and anything at this point would have been pure speculation, but he felt guilty for knowing he had not allowed her a chance.

At her beckoning he sat up slowly and shook his right arm a bit, still surprised by the odd sense of touch it left him with no matter what he'd tried thus far. Standing as he watched her wade out, the demon pondered the likelihood of her getting angry again and trying to drown him but, ultimately, decided the desire to be close with her now even after the encounter they'd just had would override everything right about now. Following her out, he brought himself to a stop directly behind her and to the left a little as he listened to her speak, words hinting at worries he had not been made aware that she'd had before. The edge to that laughter wasn't missed, however.

With strained, weary eyes he leaned closer little by little. Finally setting his head gently upon her shoulder, he brought his hands up to hold her arm and pull at her shirt for emphasis. "Mud," he reminded her before slipping his arm around her middle to bring himself nearer. Not really realizing the emotion she wore on her face, Caden nestled his head against her to place a kiss at the bend where neck and shoulder met. Despite their dirtied, soaked clothes and the fact that they were standing quite thoroughly in the stream, he was determined to not have her feeling any worse than she'd already expressed just a short time ago.

"It would be wrong and hypocritical of me to hold a grudge, you know, so I'm not going to," he told her, keeping his voice low at her ear. It wasn't lost on him that she'd gone around some of his questions, but he wasn't going to bother her about it when he thought he had a more favorable situation within reach right now.

"Why don't we wash our hands of this?" he asked with a cheeky little smile for its double meaning. "We need a bath, and this water is perfect as perfect can get right now."

Bringing the hand at her arm down to scoop up a handful of water, though, his smile widened at the thought that had just occurred to him. "You know, it would probably be easier if we washed our clothes separately," he suggested while watching water droplets falling through his fingers.

For a moment she thought things would be calm and just blow by. But, Caden being himself was not about to give up such an opportunity. 'Is that all he ever thinks about? Way to pay attention to your very emotionally fragile girl right now Caden.'

Like a deflating skin she let out a long slow breath and pulled away from him. "Do whatever your heart desires Caden. Although I do not understand your fascination with cleaning your brand new clothes," she said turning to give him a pointed look. "It is not like they are not going to just get dirty all over again." Her eyes spoke to him telling him of her suspicions as the the clothes origin. 'He could have bought clothes. With what money? Unless he has been working we do not have a lot at the moment, especially if he has been staying in inns all this time.'

Head down, Tiraris began splashing water on her arms and trying to get the much out from underneath her nails. Her heart was slowly closing off to him again and she lamented the fact. 'Why does he always do this? How can he not see that I am hurting? It would not kill you to tell him. We are only going to fight again, it is probably better off that he does not know. He is not going to like that you are withholding this from him. Well I did not like that he lied to me. He was only trying to protect you. And I am only trying to protect me too.'

On her hip she could feel the beginning stings of awareness from a dogbite she had recieved during her assasination spree. 'Probably best he does not know about that either. He would be furious with me. You were furious with him, it is only fair. You should tell him. I will not! He would not approve, besides that was the last time. That is what you have been telling yourself for the last five times. Give it up Tir, it is a part of who you are. You will always be Silverd'art the deadly assassin. Caden would understand. No he would not! He sees me as this pretty little thing with a magic problem, he does not see the cold-blooded killer. He came pretty close to understanding that well enough today. You nearly succeeded in strangling him.'

Angry at where her thoughts were growing, Tiraris scrubbed harder at her skin. Her nails dug angerily into tender flesh, leaving bright red streaks in their wake. At last she gave into her frustration and slapped her fists down in the water creating a wave that came back up to splash her in the face. 'I am such a fool.' Questions danced on the tip of her tongue, anything to get Caden's attention. But, her self-loathing prevented her from speaking.

He was more than a little disappointed when he felt her pulling away from him. The separation served as a reminder of how distant they'd been. The corners of his lips turning down at the attention she paid to his clothes. Stolen or not, he knew it probably seemed odd to just turn up with things he'd never owned before. Turning towards her, though, Caden realized that there was something different about her right now.

She'd gone from screaming at him to being silent in such a short span of time. Now, there were hardly any words at all, and the way she kept her eyes down made him feel like she was purposefully keeping her distance right now. Looking over, he could see the marks from the crude way she was going about washing. If this was really how he might be greeted after being away for such a long time he was sure he wasn't going to last for very long. Thinking on this, he remembered tidbits of what he'd seen before when she'd met the stranger near the woods. The thing was, he had already decided he thought he wasn't a stranger to her, speaking a language foreign to him with her.

Could that have been it? Caden wasn't sure what was bothering her, exactly, but he thought what he'd been a witness to so many weeks ago might have been contributing to the wall that seemed to be forming between them.

He knew she was aggressive, competitive and independent, but she'd gotten particularly so since their arrival in town. Thinking he was making some connections now the demon began to seriously ponder the possibility that she'd gotten tired of him. Was all of it, right now, just a face she was putting on? Were the words coming out now just lies? Meaningless things to placate him? How long had it been going on? His brows furrowed at the thought that, perhaps, she'd continued to visit that man in his absence in what ample free time she'd probably had in five weeks.

Taking the necessary steps to stand before Tiraris as she made that big splash, Caden relaxed his features in favor of a more calm front, though he did wince at the way it ended up hitting her. She'd only just stopped attacking him and he didn't feel like being on her bad side so soon again. "I stole these clothes," he offered, not missing a beat as he reached to put a hand to her shoulder. "The other ones got burned, and my pack got left here.

"...Does my affection offend you? Would you rather I not try to be close right now?" he asked with a somber tone tinged with mild confusion over her seeming desperation for a hug earlier and how now she seemed different.

Tiraris tearfully shook her head. A soft "no" managed to croak its way past her lips before she gave up and let her chin drop to her chest. She was mentally berating herself for being so cruel and confusing to Caden. 'Look how you confuse him! Why he stays is a mystery. Do you love him or not? Do you even care you heartless thing?'

The louder the hate-filled accusations became in her mind the deeper she dug her nails into her own flesh. "I am a monster for putting you through this over and over again," she spoke unknowingly. She wanted nothing more than for the earth to swallow her up, to disappear forever and never hurt him again. 'How many more times will I hurt him before it is too much? How many before I lose him forever? We are neither of us as strong as we pretend to be. Every time I have tried to tell him, he has refused to hear it. It is useless to try anymore. But, is it useless to try for this anymore? The training goes nowhere.'

A wave of guilt overtook her as Tiraris remembered that she had abandoned several weeks of training in her worry and later anger. 'Of course it will not work when I do not try for it.' Sad red eyes glanced up to see Caden behind the fringe of her hair. 'Oh love, I want nothing more than for you to hold me and never let go. After so long a separation I want you to stay forever and ever. But, would you even want? Would you care?'

Caden wasn't entirely sure what he was seeing right now. He wasn't sure if the moisture he caught a glimpse of was just water or tears again, but at this point he didn't want to make any more mistakes and tried to be as careful as he could in his approach of this. As she dropped her head again he raised his other hand up to cup her cheek while hunching over to try and look at her better. He wasn't sure if her answer had been for one of his questions or both, but he knew she didn't need that question right now.

A concerned look took over his features now at the words that fell soft upon his ears. Shaking his head, his frown deepened as he didn't understand how, to him, stressful times between them would equate to her being a monster. He was aware that this definitely wasn't the first time she'd called herself that, either, but he was pretty sure right now that they both could use some time to calm down and bring things back to reality.

"You aren't a monster. I'm not exactly sure what you think you're putting me through, Tir, but- Hey, come on, stop doing that." Lowering the hand at her shoulder to instead lie atop her own, he sighed at the marks that persisted on her skin.

"I'm just trying to understand, but maybe-" Maybe I should just leave that for later... The look in her eyes left him fairly speechless now, though. Blinking and just standing there stupidly, he wasn't sure he quite knew how to express to her what he was thinking or feeling right now.

After a long pause he continued, admitting, "I don't think I'm as good at this as I thought, but if there's something you want to be different I'll do my best to change. I don't want to keep upsetting you like this." Cautiously, unsure if she might welcome more attention at this point or try and distance herself again, Caden moved his hands to her shoulders as he leaned in to place a kiss to her forehead.

"Now, please... Tell me what you want, what might help you feel any better." The only thing he could think of that might comfort her right now was going to lie down for a bit, maybe get himself purring, even, but he wasn't sure the likelihood of that happening or even helping right now. Their clothes were soaked and he, at least, had nothing to change into. He wasn't entirely sure he was even relaxed enough to get it going, and he wasn't sure if she even wanted to after everything that had already happened in their short time back together again.

The assassin shuddered under his gentle platonic kiss. She did not resist or pull away, more focused on the lump in her throat that prevented her from speaking. "What I want to be different you cannot change," Tiraris finally spoke, a small hitch appearing the end of her words. Swallowing and inhaling sharply she continued. "I am my own problem, my worst fear, and my greatest enemy.

"I want you so badly but, I cannot trust myself." Her hand slid up under his tunic to rest on the heavy scarring beneath. "I have already hurt you so badly because I foolishly tried to trust myself." She raised her eyes up to search out his own. "Nothing but a monster hurts the one she loves. Like mother, like daughter," she muttered, dropping her hand away.

"He teaches me to be strong, yet the stronger it becomes the more dangerous I become. This is only getting worse Caden. I can do incredible things effortlessly, but I feel no closer to the end than when I started."

Continuous swallowing would not get rid of the lump in her throat now. She struggled and failed to hold back chocked sobs. Her chest ached from both the effort and the number she was doing on her crushed heart. "What do I want?" Tiraris paused and held is gaze. "You. But we should not always have what we want. I am-I am so tired Caden. Tired of fighting, tired of failing, and especially I am tired of hurting you."

She shrugged her shoulders and blinked out a few more tears. "This is what happens when beauty falls in love with the beast, he gets hurt. Again and again she will hurt him until in the end, there is nothing left but blood and tears. You have been gone five weeks due to an injury I caused. When you come back I nearly kill you. Who is comforting whom here? Better yet, who should be comforting whom?"

Tiraris laughed hysterically, shaking her head. "I told you all I do is take," she muttered before letting her head fall forward onto his chest. The tears were unstoppable now as they fell on them and between them to the water below. 'And the circle starts anew.'

It felt like a big weight had been placed upon his heart at the thoughts she was presenting now. True he had heard much of it before some way or another, but he still did not agree with most of what she was saying. It was pretty clear to him that she didn't have much confidence in herself right now: Her abilities, her magic. He didn't know what he could even say to her, really. What he wanted to say against her claims could easily be refuted and shut down by her, but there was something he still wanted to make clear no matter what she might tell him.

"You are not a monster. You are not some horrible person." It felt warm where she touched along his scarring, but Caden was willing to sacrifice that for something else right now. Pushing down on her elbow to get her hand away, he moved quickly without another word about all of this and grabbed Tiraris up in a tight hug, burying his face against her neck. Holding her fast, he stayed like that for a few moments, just trying to calm his, yet again, racing heart as he breathed slowly. Then, he bent down enough to pull her up from the water and put her over his shoulder before turning and heading back towards the bank.

"I'll carry you properly once we get out," he explained, not wanting another huge argument over how he was carrying her, "But I think it's pretty clear we need a rest, love."

His arms encircling her had Tiraris tensing. "Caden," she tried protesting, but made no move to pull away. She was just beginning to relax into the embrace when he suddenly picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "Caden D'Andarce! You put me down this instant," she screeched.

Her fists beat weakly against his back as the assassin tried to free herself. In one last attempt, Tiraris raised her upper body up and placed her hands on his shoulder's, pushing away as hard as she could. Yet, it was not enough. Sighing, she gave up and draped herself back over him.

"And pray tell, where are we going for this so called rest?" Tiraris was not angry with Caden but very upset with herself. She wanted nothing more than to be curled up in his arms. However, her mind would not let it be. Over and over it jabbed at her, demanding her to leave.

'Have you not hurt him enough? Let him go Tiraris! Quit being selfish; you hurt him, this is not about you. Can I not feel guilt? It is your own damn fault! Have your pity-party once he is gone. You are constantly torturing him like this. If you are not trying to physically hurt him then you are sending him through an emotional tidal wave. Congratulations, you are just like your mother! You are a monster through and through. I am a monster.'

Through her struggling he just held onto her, determined now to do what he'd already set his mind to. The light blows to his back were surprising in the lack of strength she showed; he had fully expected to receive at least something that stung so he was entirely happy to just keep going along. She seemed to recognize, though, that she wasn't going to get away and that just made it that much easier on him.

He hadn't thought through where exactly they were going to go. Town was too far away to go back in the rain right now, he thought. The mage hadn't been very receptive to his being there on his last visit, and he didn't want to be around anyone else right now either. He figured, though, that the shed by the garden might be shelter enough with the back room it contained.

Once he'd gotten them into ankle-deep water he finally lowered her down from his shoulder to hold her with one arm under her shoulders and the other under her knees. Problem was, he was distinctly aware of overall weakness that persisted, particularly in his newly-recovered arm. He figured, though, that he'd probably just need to put himself to work more, regain the tone he'd lost from effectively being dead to the world for over a month. Carrying her, though, was a task he was not willing to give up after not being allowed to do so in..., well, a very long time.

"The shed," was all he said in answer, knowing he wasn't going to take no for an answer right now without another fight. Caden remained fairly quiet as he walked them back out of the woods. When he reached the shed's door he remained stubborn, refusing to put her down as he worked to get the door open and step through without jostling her too much. Altogether it was very shoddy and patched-up inside; the faint sounds of dripping water were like clinks of metal against metal to his ears, but he didn't care.

Heading off toward the side room, though, the room was very dark even with its window because of the storm. He could make out a bedroll along the wall that was very small but would at least do for some cushion. Stepping through the doorway and shutting it up behind them with his foot, Caden walked carefully in the barely even dim room to finally set her down beside it.

They were amongst a lot of odds and ends mostly kept along the other wall, but the room was already very small and was hardly something to properly fit two people let alone one. "This'll have to do," he said softly, looking out the window at the accumulating droplets. Scuffing his foot against the ground for a moment, though, was all the time he wasted as he moved to sit beside her. "I want you to have it," he tried to explain, gesturing with his hand. "Why don't you just lie down... Relax a bit? I'm sure you'll feel much better, love."

Tiraris listened to the sound of the rain plinking off the leaking roof in silence. She did not fight Caden but nor did she help him. A sadness clouded her mind, skewing her judgement. 'He is punishing me for hurting him. This is as bad a place as he can stand to be in. He would surly put me somewhere worse if he knew I would actually stay.'

Confused eyes questioned him with the words she would not speak but, Tiraris did as she was told and slowly laid back onto the thin amount of cushioning. Her eyes closed in compliance as she curled up into one corner, trying to make herself as small as possible. Hot tears silent coursed down her face the longer she laid there. Mildew and musk permeated her nose as the rain continued to leak into the room and soak through old wood.

She tried desperately to keep her breathing soft as she squeezed her eyes shut tighter, praying that Caden would not be able to see in the coming darkness. 'Please do not let him see. I do not want him more upset with me. This is all my fault. I should have listened, I never should have done that. I always hurt him. Monster, monster, monster! He is only being this nice and not worse because he actually has to stay with me. Next time my punishment will be so much worse. I am sorry Caden. Sorry, sorry, sorry.'

Once she'd gotten herself settled he adjusted himself to instead sit beside her. Watching her curl up tighter with her back to him, though, had Caden wondering if he'd done wrong by her, if he should have just stayed outside with her. Sitting on the floor made him heavily aware of how his clothes were sticking to him and how generally icky it felt right now, but his main focus was making sure she was going to be alright. Right now he wasn't so sure about the status on that.

The silence felt eerie to him. "Hey..." Scooting as close as he could without actually sitting on the bedroll, Caden reached his hands out for her, setting them lightly on her shoulders. "Can I give you a rub? Would that...help any?" he asked cautiously, still unsure if he was making the right gestures in his offer as he gave a gentle squeeze for emphasis. Those eyes were wide and unsure and he was thankful it was dark enough that it might not be visible, but he could've sworn he caught a flash of moisture upon her cheek.

"And...what did you mean about being your own enemy, love?" He wanted to pry about so much more, ask those questions he was desperate to know the answers to, but he would wait.

Her head turned slightly to stare  at his hand resting on her. Slowly she began to raise her hand before she let it drop away again without touching him. Wordlessly she shook her head. 'I am fine Caden. Do not make it worse. This is how you want me. I promise not to make it more disgusting and difficult for you. I promise.'

She let out a heavy sigh and licked her lips to buy time before speaking. When at last she did, Tiraris' voice came out sounding thick soft from the tears she held back. "I get in my own way. I destroy what I want knowing that I cannot have it. I am a self-fulfilling prophecy. Everything I want, I lose." The assassin shrugged her shoulders and fell into a tense silence.

She'd said no without a word, but Caden wasn't satisfied with that. Brushing his hair back over his shoulders where it had fallen forward before replacing his hands to her. As she spoke he began a slow, cautious palpation in his uncertainty if this was the right decision still before beginning a gentle kneading instead. Listening to her, though, wasn't making sense to him, or at least his perspective.

"But...you said you still wanted me..., right? You haven't destroyed me or lost me, you know. I'm not going to leave, love." He was trying his best to comfort her, unsure of what she needed right now. "Hey... I know I'm waterlogged, but...could I lie down with you? Just for a little while? We haven't shared a bed since you started your training," he explained, hoping she wouldn't take it in a way other than the, mostly, innocent manner he meant it.

"I do want you, Caden!" she said vehemently, some spirit returning back to her for a moment. Tiraris sat up to face him. "But, I do keep hurting you. Maybe not all at once yet, little by little I destroy you." She ran first her right hand along his scar over his heart before joining it with her left running across the newer and more extensive scars that lined it.

She sighed sadly, letting her shoulders droop in defeat as she pulled her hands back into her lap and dropped her head. "You do not have to leave for me to lose you. You do not have to be dead for me to destroy you," she mumbled under her breath.Tiraris nearly swore that she was feeling her heart breaking all over again.

'Again?' her mind questioned. 'Why must the circle continue this way?' Resigned to her fate, Tiraris raised her head back up and let Caden see her as she was, a broken woman on the edge of losing everything to her insecurity and stupidity. Silently she watched him just letting the tears fall without shame.

Then she hesitantly raised her hands up to cup both of his cheeks. For a moment Tiraris wanted nothing more than to kiss him but deemed herself too foul to sully him in such a way. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. "I do want you," she finally repeated.

Releasing her as she sat up, he lowered his chin and looked down at her hands touching at his chest. That frown was returning for her words, though. Watching her drop her hands away, he tried to look her in the eye now. Everything she was saying just didn't make sense to him; his heart refused to let him lose hope or faith and had been since he'd found his match and soulmate in life. Caden knew that there was a chance for their happiness yet, just in knowing he had not been outright rejected by her. Finding it, though, was something he never thought would be an easy or simple task.

After she'd stopped talking he took a few moments to collect his thoughts; he was still unsure what he might be able to say to maybe help her see how he viewed things, if only for a moment. Staring at her, though, he could see the sadness there, the tears, the shadowed distance that clouded her eyes. It gave him pause and made him wonder if what he'd noticed before had also been tears.

He was more than a little surprised when she finally reached out to him, though, and thought it best to stay quiet lest she have something else to say, vulnerable as she looked to him right now. At the added contact, though, he was more than happy to have an excuse to scoot up closer to her like some puppy eager to climb up onto her lap and receive whatever affection she might offer. For this, he remained quiet still. It surprised him, though, when she made no move to kiss and instead just leaned her forehead against his own. Still searching her eyes, though, he was even less sure of what he should do now.

After another pause and glance down at her arms, he tried a little smile and tilted his head to brush noses with her, if momentarily, as he loosely encircled her in his arms. "It doesn't bother or scare me, you know, your magic. The...well, you know; they don't bother me.

"Pain is a part of life. It happens. It has to happen, and I'm not afraid of it. No matter what...I'll always be me. All I ask is that you not be afraid of us, love." He knew he was taking a shot in the dark about what might be bothering her, but he hoped he was right or at least close and he hoped that the weather had something to do with the seeming dampening of her abilities right now. Chancing a move, he let his arms drop a bit lower to rest snugly around her waist instead while leaning to press a kiss to her lips. The idea of asking his question again was something he deemed quite dangerous right now, their situation seeming so delicate.

"So, I'm something you want. That makes one thing you'll never destroy, Tiraris," he whispered upon tilting his head just enough to barely break that contact and offer that smile again. "...I love you. And..., nothing's going to happen to me that I can't bounce back from, okay?"

A faint smile played across her lips as Caden brushed noses with him. Before she could stop herself she returned the gesture. But, the smile quickly faded once more as he spoke. "It bothers me." Tiraris let her hands fall back down again and snaked them up under his shirt. "It is a reminder to me of more than I hurt the man I love more than anything else in this world, including myself. It reminds me of other things."

She tried to pull away and just shook her head sadly after he kissed her. "I love you too. But, Caden please do not make me any such promises. They never end well when they concern me. Even the most honest and sure man becomes a liar and a fraud when he promises me something. I love you too much to let that happen to you."

Her eyes stared into his, as she lost herself in him. 'I need to tell him. I need to leave. He made the promise, now it is time to ensure it never becomes what it did for Adalwin. I will not lose them both the way I lost both my fathers. Caden is wrong. He does not wish to understand just simply does not know. Either way I do know and now I must fix it.'

But, as she looked at him, she knew that she could not. No matter how many times she told herself to walk away, her body always went running towards him. Even now she was moving forward to curl up in his arms. "Caden," she spoke hesitantly, her voice sounding like that of a child, soft and insecure. "Could we go back to the house? I can get rid of the annoyance for a while and then-," she trailed off and shook her head. "Nevermind, it was stupid anyway. Sorry for suggesting it, just ignore it."

It was what he'd been hoping for, roughly, though the idea of kicking out the mage after their last encounter left him feeling a bit raw and shamed still. He wanted that more than anything right now, though, and was willing to chance just about anything despite her repeated efforts to lead him away from making promises, even ones he deemed very small in the grand scheme of things. The thing was, he felt he could keep those promises.

No matter how much she might ever plead otherwise, he knew what he wanted and he knew he would endure whatever might be necessary, for her. He felt he'd already been through a lot, but even that didn't faze him. For now, though, he was willing to set it aside and not let it get to him; goddess knew he'd had enough flare-ups of his temper with her lately. It was also something fairly trivial compared to everything else going on right now, so he could wait.

Some quiet time with her was probably going to do wonder s for his stress levels, but he couldn't help but keep hold of a small hope in the back of his mind that it might go on to become something more...intimate. Even if it was just kisses while they cuddled, he wanted so desperately anything he could get at this point. "No. Please, no, it's alright," Caden tried to assure her while rubbing a hand along her back as he adjusted his arms to hold her closer. "I want to, I just didn't think he would be too happy with us if we disturbed him.

"Could I...carry you over?" he asked, a clear tone of hopefulness betraying the composure he'd tried to hold onto. He was all too eager to accommodate any potential for some close quality time, and he continued with, "It'd keep you from getting your feet all muddy again."

"I do not care what he thinks," she spat, snuggling closer to Caden. "We are not children to be scolded for our choices." She breathed deeply, relaxing back against him as his scent soothed her. A true gentle smile lit up her face. Tilting her head up to kiss his chin she whispered her response to his idea. "I would like that."

Tiraris closed her eyes and encircled her arms around his neck. Her head nuzzled into his shoulder as she just listened to his heartbeat and breath. "I have missed you so much." In a moment of vulnerability she let her hand move up to trace his cheek. "Next time, please let me help. It would be a much better punishment than this."

The fire was back within her, he thought, if only a small flicker of a flame. He was glad to see some spark back in her, however short-lived it might be in their constant state of back-and-forth. This was already more than he'd thought he would get in a day anytime soon, though, and he couldn't help but think he'd hit some marvelous stroke of luck. Here she was, actually choosing to be affectionate, and they could finally, for once, agree on something.

Caden wasn't about to question this further, though, and pulled her up closer in his arms and against his chest when the opportunity presented itself. Problem was, her words were bittersweet yet again, but he figured it was a safer bet right now to just ignore what she said about punishment that he didn't feel she deserved in the slightest. It wasn't her fault that she couldn't entirely control her magic and he would take that belief to his grave; nothing she ever said about it was going to sway him, but he couldn't fault her in trying to ease his own worries, skewed as it seemed to him. They were a team and in this life together. Caden knew that he wasn't going to drag her down with him if he could ever help it.

Adjusting his legs beneath them, he hoisted them up together and peered out the window only to see that it was still raining, though not as much as before. "I missed you, too. Now, come on," he said as he carried her back out to the door and just stood there in the doorway for a moment before stepping back out into the rain to cross over to the mage's home. He was still pretty sure the mage wasn't going to take kindly to the proposal or, rather, demand, especially with a pair of daggers in his door.

Pushing the door open with his foot, though, he cleared his throat as he crossed the threshold to see Feichin standing there by the fire. With one look their way he was dead certain he was right about him not being very happy to have him back.

"Ah. I thought you were dead. Good thing you aren't, she's been moody as anything. Refuses everything. Sets fire to my land." Sighing, he turned to face them and crossed his arms loosely over his chest. "I don't recall hearing any knocking, though... Is there a reason you're tracking a dirty puddle through my home?"

Caden narrowed his eyes and shook his head, the beginnings of a low growl he was trying to hold back dragging through his throat as he, reluctantly, lowered his arms to let Tiraris down. "I don't want any trouble," was all he said in warning, though he tried to keep the annoyance of seeing him again like this out of his voice as he glanced down at her.

Tiraris was incredibly displeased with the mage's resistance to meet her wishes. Years of being an assassin could not bleed out the blue-blood that flowed through her veins. What she wanted, Tiraris received.

Angrily she elbowed Caden away from her and marched forward to the other man. Snatching up a rucksack she violently thrust it into his front before grabbing him by the shoulder and dragging him to the door. "We are out of food. Go get some," she demanded harshly. "You will not be expected back until tomorrow. Do not disappoint." Red eyes glared in warning just before she threw the man out and removed her daggers from the door. Tiraris cast one more fierce look towards the mage, flipping the blades in hand before slamming the door and bolting it shut.

With a sigh she leaned back against the door. The smile of before was beginning to return as she looked towards Caden. She bit her lip and giggled. "You are going to get sick in those clothes. Strip, now!" Tiraris raised her brow in challenge before leaving him to his own devices so that she could change out of her drenched clothes as well. 'This is a really bad idea, Tir! Too bad, I can always threaten castration if it gets out of hand,' she chuckled to herself.

Thankfully, she was just as irritated if not more so and Caden had to do nothing more than step aside and watch her work. The mage was visibly annoyed with how he was being pushed around, but he really had no qualms with leaving, except for the weather; it would only do to help him in the end, he thought.

Caden, though, kept a keen eye on the knives in her hand every moment they were back in her possession. Even her smile wasn't holding his attention enough that he wasn't constantly glancing down at them. It took him more than a few moments to process what she was saying. The raised brow only added to his uncertainty as he watched her padding away. Did she just ask me to...strip? I bet this is some cruel punishment for payback; I'm drenched and I have nothing to wear and she wants me to — Wait..., so is she.

"Okay..." Looking off toward the doorway, he began to seriously ponder his chances. He wasn't rushed, but he wasn't taking his time either as he peeled his clothes from where they stuck on his body. Even the fire didn't help with the chill, though, his hair leaving icy droplets all over his shoulders, chest and back as he laid out the clothes near it. He wasn't bothered in the slightest by his nakedness, though, and, when he was done, crossed right over to peek his head around the frame at her. That didn't last for long. It only took him a moment's pondering longer before he was crossing the small room to quickly snatch her up around her middle. "You should wait. We haven't had any time to ourselves in a while," he said at her ear, pressing his head against her wet hair in silent pleading.

The assassin squealed uncharacteristically as her naked torso was pressed against Caden's cool flesh. "Really now. You just could not wait, could you? So tell me dearest," she turned around in his grip to face him, "if I am to wait, is that to wait to get undressed or to wait to get redressed?" Tiraris smirked as she looked down at her state of dress. Her wet tunic had been thrown into a corner while her pants continued to remain plastered to her drenched body.

"You could have dried off at least," she remarked, dancing out of his arms again. "Go, out. I am cold and want to change. You can hold me to your heart's content afterwards." Turning away from him she rolled her eyes. She did not wait to see if he left before letting her pants drop and walking naked as the day she was born to retrieve her pack from under the cot. "I swear Caden," she began muttering, "if I did not know better I would say you were not a cat demon but a dog." A soft white nightgown was retrieved and quickly yanked down over her form so that she could return to him once more.

He couldn't really explain himself without sounding like a sleaze, so he wasn't going to. A clear frown of disappointment was there, though, as she got away and tried to drive him off as well. Her lack of dedication to it, though, only got him stepping back a few steps to lean against the wall as he watched her continue going about her business. That, he felt, was the best decision he'd made in a long while, to get to see her naked and rather uncaring about her state of dress were it not for the chill the water left.

Lounging there just admiring the view, he sincerely hoped this wasn't the only glimpse he'd get today. The nightgown was pulled on far too soon whether or not she was cold, in his mind. All he could do was chuckle for her muttered comments, though, as he crossed the room again to head back out where it was warm. "I'm sure both are just as wily," he offered with the beginnings of a cheeky smile teasing at the corners of his mouth.

Reaching out for her, he secured an arm firmly about her waist to pull her into another hug. "I'm still going to hold you. But, you know, that thing isn't doing you much good for drying off." Caden quirked a brow as he looked down at the flowy thing, trying to grasp how she might be more comfortable with that on causing unnecessary friction when, in his mind, skin-to-skin was the way to go and would be much warmer, not to mention advantageous to his current goal.

"So, here's your choice: you take it off and we go lay by the fire, on the furs, or you take it off and we go lie down in bed for a while..."

"Wily?" she repeated, "more like horny. I swear you are just as bad as any other man I have ever met." Tiraris rolled her eyes and thumped him on the chest as he caught her. The look she gave him spoke louder than any words could have. 'Really?' it asked. 'What kind of fool do you take me for?'

Tiraris crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot. "How about I give you a choice: we go sit by the fire and I contemplate taking it off or I go sit by the fire and you go sit outside in the rain, both of us naked? How does that sound love?" The challenging brow rose again as the assassin stared her down. It felt good to be in such a playful mood and she was not going to stop until she won.

Caden wasn't about to argue the truth, but that didn't mean he thought it was unjustified. He'd been good. He'd been fairly patient and would continue to be. Still, he was always going to try. He was not human, he knew, but he would never deny that he had limits and that they had already been pushed beyond what he'd ever thought they would be since meeting her, in more ways than one.

The look she was giving him was more amusing than anything right now, serious as he figured she was. Her counteroffer wasn't very appealing. At all. But, he figured he might be able to get away with something if he played his cards right. "Well, as appealing as another bath sounds right now, I think we'll stay inside," he resigned, tilting his head to look down behind her as he brought his hand back around her waist, drumming lightly against her as it rounded onto her back where he let it rest again. But I will find a way to get that thing off of you.

"Let's go get settled, then," he said before continuing on further into the room to the hearth so he could pull the furs together in a pile before it. He would feign defeat for now, let her have her little moment of self-pride, but he was determined not to walk away with nothing.

Tiraris waited until the last moment to strike. The moment Caden had finished setting up the furs she sauntered her way over to him and passionately kissed him. A leg went up to wrap behind his and with a twist, she removed his center of gravity, sending them both to the fur-covered floor.

Having expected the fall, she easily caught herself on her hands and knees, hovering over him. Gently settling down like a cat on top of him, Tiraris playfully scrunched her nose at him before leaning close to his ear. "Still sore with me?"

Hands more practiced with holding a sword than anything else traced unseen patterns on his chest and up Caden's neck to his ears. But, every time she came close, the assassin would pull her hands away and start all over again at a slower pace. However, she soon grew bored and impatient with it and laid down on him fully, resting her head in the crook of his neck, placing the occasional lazy kiss or nip there.

He hadn't expected her to be, well, right there when he turned around. Eyes widening slightly, he'd moved to try and say something to her. The words were lost the moment she went in for the kill, figuratively, and he was all too eager to wrap himself up in it and return the gesture. She was doing a damn good job of making it difficult to think straight, though. As much as he'd missed any form of closeness with her, it was moments like this that he craved. Mostly, at least.

Being sent to the floor, at least like this, was definitely not what he'd had in mind with that leg creeping up along his own. Tiraris, however, seemed to be all too pleased with their current situation. Their quick flip from the earlier mood was a welcome surprise and he was definitely bent on keeping things like this for as long as possible.

It was nice to see her actually smiling again, but, unfortunately, Caden was too focused on other things to truly admire it. The teasing question was not lost on him, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to even think about attempting to form even a short response with how aware he was of every little place they were touching, the way her fingers danced across his skin. No, he was too busy letting his own hands wander, roaming down her back and along her sides. It could hardly be called gentle, though, as his movements became increasingly possessive, hands clinging and grabbing at her by the time she'd settled down atop him rather than the caress he'd started with.

A short, grunting huff forced its way up from his throat at the realization that she was going to keep up her teasing touches. Instinct was telling him not to let her have even a sense of having an upper hand on him. It told him that she shouldn't be allowed to do what she was doing, too, but he would be a liar if he said he didn't like it. So, Caden decided to just let her have her way in this, much as she'd already asserted herself, and shifted his focus back to fiddling with the blasted nightgown he hadn't wanted on her in the first place.

"This is coming off," was all he said under his breath as hands braced against her outer thighs. It felt so...well, foreign, especially with his own state of undress. He couldn't help but hope that they might finally be making more progress and that he might finally get what had successfully eluded him for well over half a year already. Getting rid of the flimsy barrier was up first on his list. Working his hands further up beneath it, the demon tilted his head to look over at her, eyes baring visibly dilated pupils. He swallowed hard against the tightness in his throat of another growl rising as he began to tug at the offending clothing even more.

Tiraris chuckled and bit the juncuture of neck and shoulder a bit harder. Soothing licks followed to tenderally mitigate the pain. "That is what you think. Now stop it!" She sat up, pressing her hands against his chest as she stared down at him.

"Mm, shall we play a game Caden, dear? It has been so long since last we played. Perhaps a different game? A touch for a correct answer? The loss of a turn for a wrong answer?" The assassin tilted her head in question. "What do you think love, or do you fear you will lose?"

Smirking she raised her hands up and stretched, arching her back in a teasing manner before settling back to laying over him. "It is not a shame to lose, dearest. I will still love you. Probably is better this way, afterall a woman always gets what she wants." Tiraris laughed again, ruffling Caden's hair. 'And what do you want Tir? Do you even know?'

A sharp hiss escaped him at the unexpected pressure. The licks, though, only did to remind him of the stinging at first. He couldn't say he was at all disappointed with his current situation, even with her resistance, as he saw it. What she posed in her questions, though, was not what he'd had in mind at first.

"You're mine, so what's in it for me?" The way she kept picking at him did indeed spark up that competitiveness again, though. Caden liked the idea, but he was pretty sure it was going to go in his favor since there wasn't much that could be easily verified by her. He was forgetting, though, how easy he was to read when he was like this.

"I won't lose, so how can I be afraid of losing? What kind of...topics did you have in mind?" He was wary of the fact she was already making it clear she would, eventually, get what she wanted. That hardly ever seemed to go well for him, so he figured he would need to be very cautious with how he went about this. At the least, though, he would humor her; he wasn't going to deny her when she seemed to be returning to a better mood.

"Would telling you the enjoyment of the moment be enough for you, you insufferable man?" She kissed him passionately, temporarily distracted from the task at hand. "You dearest will lose. Already you eat out of the palm of my hand, the game is half-won from the start."

Tiraris scuttled away off Caden quickly to sit a small distance away from him on the furs. "It would not be very different than the game we played when we first met. Surely you remember the fun of that. Please," she resorted to begging. Her face took on a child's tearful pout as her shoulders slumped and she sighed. "I just-we never get time together and, I thought it would be fun. Please?"

Caden was surprised by how forward she was being now, but he figured it would be best to use this to his advantage while it lasted. "Hmph. Half-won," he scoffed. She always seemed so good at reminding him of things his pride hadn't entirely gotten over yet. While he knew it was true, that he would honestly do whatever she wanted or needed of him, he still didn't like being reminded that she knew enough of it to exploit it.

The moment she escaped from him had him immediately turning over, reaching out to snatch her back over, but then he let his hand drop and rest at her hip instead as she continued speaking. All the while, he started inching his way closer and his attention was glued to the piece of clothing "separating" her from him, in his eyes.

He hadn't needed all the begging and pleading, but his sore pride told him she deserved a little discomfort and delay from the instant gratification she might have received. It was the least he could do, in his mind, to keep quiet and let her have to say her piece to "convince" him for everything she'd already but him through like this.

"Alright, fine, we can play. I decide the rules this time, though." He still had the hope that it might develop into something more, but he honestly liked the idea of getting to spend some time with her like this; he'd enjoyed their game before, until they were interrupted and she threw him out, literally. "But don't hurl pillows at me this time, please. And I'm going to add another rule: If you get something wrong I get to ask another question and you get no reward on that turn. Fair? Yeah, I think so, too," he said with a grin, not realizing that he was already backing himself into a corner as well. "Ladies first, love."

Her expression quickly turned from pouting to ecstatic joy at his agreement. His rules did nothing to dampen her spirits, instead making her smile broadly in joy. "Well if I must, I must. Although do not think for a second I do not see what you are trying to do here Caden D'Andarce. You just want the first touch because you think I will lose. Just for that I will not give you the very easy question I had planned for you."

Leaning back on one hand, Tiraris brought the other up to her face to rub at her jaw. "What to do, what to do. Not too hard of a question to start or you will be sore, but nothing too easy since you are playing rough. Hmm." A slow smile crawled its way across the assassin's face as she pieced together a perfect starting question.

"Nothing too hard and nothing too simple. Tell my Caden, where did we first meet?" Tiraris let her other hand fall behind her as well so that she leaned back on both her hands and stared him down in playful challenge.

"It's hard to hide something from you, so why bother?" he teased, eyes glancing up only occasionally and when absolutely necessary to make eye contact as she spoke. He didn't actually care whether he got an easy question or not, but he still faked a frown anyway for her benefit.

"Eh? Really, where?" he started with a chuckle, finally bringing his gaze up to eye her suspiciously for the variety of answers he could give for that while still, technically, being correct. It was all a matter of how much he wanted to irritate her right now, and it was worth noting that she was in an exceptionally better mood now. "We met in Ketra, how could I ever forget? I had to chase you or you wouldn't have even given me the time of day. But, now..." he trailed off, reaching his hand down further to grasp the hem of her nightgown, which he promptly resumed tugging it up to her midriff as a wide, devilish grin spread across his features.

"I want this off, you tease me too much," he grumbled while pushing himself up off the fur-covered floor to scoot himself over right beside her. "Now..., nothing too tricky from me; why don't you tell me about your favorite place, and why? Well, at least that you've ever traveled to, of course." Putting a hand on her arm in a feeble attempt at holding her down, Caden pulled the offending article up again and, this time, got it over her head and off to sling it down towards their feet, that wide, boyish grin still firmly in place.

For a moment Tiraris found herself wrapped up in a wave of nostalgia. Clean, crisp water on her tongue, soft yellow-green longrass tickling her chin, a horse's whinny and a boy's laughter assaulted her senses. Then in the blink of an eye the past was firmly locked away once more. 'Maybe this was not such a good idea after all. I am playing with fire and am sure to be burned.'

Realization struck her suddenly and a victorious smirk creeped its way across her lips. Choosing to ignore her current state of dress, or rather lack thereof, in the face of victory. "Oh Caden, how do you always manage to do that to yourself?" she cooed in sympathy. "You cheated by asking two questions and therefore forfeit one turn to me. I get to ask you two questions. After the seond you may make one move provided you have not lied and have answered correctly. Now to answer your question, I chose to answer the why part. My favorite place was that because it was a place of safety and magic for me once."

Winking, the assassin crawled down beside Caden's body, stopping at his feet. She looked up at him and leaned forward. At the last moment she snatched up her nightgown and yanked it over her head. Settling back down, Tiraris firmly tucked the material underneath her, preventing Caden from removing it without damaging it or doing it in two turns.

"My first question which remember is your forfeited one is also a serious one. Hypothetically speaking if we could have children, would you want them?" her face was a perfect mask of indifference, learned and practiced over the years. While it was a question she had voiced before in the past, she felt it better to repeat it in a less emotional and hostile environment versus in the midst of one of their heated discussions.

The smirk returned as she introduced her second question. "Would you still love me Caden, if I made good on my threat to castrate you?" She quietly chuckled, waiting for his reaction. All the while her eyes told of what might happen if he he attempted damaging her clothing.

Waiting in silent anticipation, he watched her curiously. There was something off about her, about the way she looked. He didn't think she looked upset, but it was gone before he could really pinpoint it. "Huh? Do what?" He was oblivious to his blunder, at first, too pleased to finally have what he wanted. At least, for the meantime. As soon as it sunk in that he'd done something wrong he felt like just throwing them all out entirely. He knew she would just make him absolutely miserable if he asked for that, though. Groaning and rolling his eyes for what she was saying now, he heaved a heavy sigh and decided to just cut his losses and let her have her way.

Caden was irked that he wasn't going to receive the answer to the question he'd most wanted to know about, but even what she did give wasn't at all what he'd expected or wanted either. It just added to his frustration that she'd put the nightgown back on instead of try anything with him, and made him pause for a moment to consider whether or not she wanted this sort of thing at all. Tiraris's own first question just added to his confusion and the stoic expression upon her face just piled on the mixed signals he was perceiving.

It was disheartening, to him, that she might ask such a thing with so little emotion present. He couldn't tell at all what her own hopes leaned towards. Of course, this was the second time she'd asked about this sort of thing so he couldn't help but wonder if she might ever want such a thing for them. Her second question, however, just dashed whatever small hope he'd begun to have that they might have a relatively normal time together for once. Even though she'd refused to answer both of his questions, he figured it'd be better to be nice and just answer both of her own.

"I would still love you, but that would make me very miserable because I wouldn't want to be around someone who voluntarily chooses to do such a thing, especially to someone they've claimed to have feelings for," he grumbled and flopped over onto his back to think on her other question, all the while making no move at all to reach out to her again and, instead, pulled a fur across himself as he glared at his still sopping clothes nearby.

Caden refused to look over at her now, but he was quiet anyway as he tried to think of a way to answer her question and do it justice. He was still very wary of this subject, even if posed hypothetically, because the last time they'd talked about it she'd entirely shut down on him; he didn't want that happening again. "But children... The short answer would be yes, but there are other factors that go into it to consider."

He definitely didn't want to end up having a proper family to support and no way of going about it. His skills were, he thought, highly specialized and little sought-after because of their usually dark nature. He would do what he had to, of course, but at the same time he'd lived so long as a bachelor that he wasn't sure how easily things might fall into place for him.

"I guess it's my turn, then. Well..., I want to know how you feel about our situation right now. Do you like traveling and moving around so much like this?"

The smile washed itself off her face as she watched Caden's seeming rejection of her. For a moment she almost reached out and touched him before she remembered the game. 'Caden, Caden, Caden, what am I going to do with you?' Her eyes watched him sadly as she became more depressed by the pouting he was displaying.

'Screw the game,' she finally decided. Tiraris lifted Caden's fur blanket and slipped underneath it with him, spooning up against his side. She wrapped her arm over his torso and rested her head on his shoulder. "Caden if you do not want to play the game then you could have just said. I will not be mad either way. I just thought that we would have fun. We have not spent timing together in so long unless we are fighting with each other. I love you very much, I do not want to see you suffer and pout because you feel that is the only way I will be happy. Does that make sense?"

Her voice was soft and weak with defeat. It hurt her to know that she had made him unhappy, again. "I forfeit the game to you Caden," she told him with a sigh. "But, to answer your question, I do not know. Honestly I am happy wherever you are whether that is on the road, in an inn or at home. I have never lived in one place for very long since I was a child. That kind of life is what I associate with family and not with me."

Tiraris sighed again and nuzzled her cheek into him. "Did I ever tell you the reason why I hate my mother? No, I do not think I did. I used to believe that it was because she forced me into being something that I was not. Then I got older and I realized that that was not the truth. She forced me into believing that she had changed me when I was the same all along. I hate her for destroying every principle I ever believed in. I hate her for her lies and her infidelity. She used me as a weapon and a tool to achieve her own goals. When her perfect doll refused, she did not know what to do with herself."

Unconsciously, her fingers were beginning to trace larger and larger patterns on his chest as she quietly shared a very private but important piece of her past with the man she loved. "When I left I swore that I would never have children so that I would never be like her. I hate children They are loud and noisy and messy. They only get in the way of things. Yet, when I am with you I suddenly want something I always swore I would do without. I begin to wonder what a life would be like with your children, our children. What would they look like? Would I be a good mother? Then I remember what I am. No life I give a child would be normal. I have enough to last tens of lifetimes but what good is that when-my mother thought money was everything, I know better."

Her hand stilled as she shook her head to push away the thoughts running through her head. "Nevermind, do not listen to me. I am just being silly. Me a mother?" Tiraris snorted and sat up, placing her back to Caden. 'I will not be my mother because I will never be a mother.'

Glancing over at her as she snuggled closer, he couldn't fight the urge to bring his own arm around to set lightly at her shoulder. He was irritated, yes, but it both surprised and saddened him to see her suggesting they give up so early and to think that her idea of fun was bringing up castration again, though he hadn't caught on to her true meaning by it at all. Even more, it got him a bit more cranky to think that she thought he was only acting like he was to make her happy. He decided, though, to just stay quiet and listen now as she carried on.

A blank expression took hold of him as he listened to her now. It was something new and a reminder of how little he truly knew of her, how little they'd shared even thus far with each other. Looking down at the hand gliding across his skin, his brows narrowed in that mixture of emotions he was feeling now both for what he was feeling and what he was hearing.

It made him sad to think she might have wanted a life like that, been open to the possibility one day. The way he saw things, though, this was just her way of trying to let him down gently, and the way she seemed to scoff at the idea just sealed it for him. He'd known it hadn't been very likely at all, especially in their near future with their non-existant sex life, but he'd still kept that small hope that one day they might have a nicer, quieter life where they might have even been able to try. It was true, though, that he couldn't imagine whatever sort of life they would be able to offer would be any sort of normal; even in childhood he assumed there would be problems with the obvious difference in lineage from that of normal humans with the fae in her blood and his own, unique ancestry.

As she turned away from him he adjusted his hand to let her move, but he couldn't hide the disappointment in his face as he slipped his hand from her arm entirely. "I didn't think you were being silly... Thank you for telling me, it really does mean a lot, you know." Pushing himself to sit up instead now, Caden glanced between her and the fire a few times, unsure of what he should do now that she'd both opened up and closed herself off again in such a short span of time.

Caden wanted to say something more on the subject, tell her he wanted to be supportive of her in whatever she might ever decide, tell her how much he wanted to try talking about some of these things for a change, but he also didn't want to ruin what bit of calm they'd finally managed to scrap together. "Tiraris? I didn't want to stop our game, you know. Can we...keep going? It's still your turn to ask," he urged, feeling a bit guilty now about having been so grumpy even though he'd felt it was entirely justifiable. It had just been for fun, he tried to convince himself, and it wasn't ill-intentioned, but he'd still had trouble trying to get over it considering the very real threats that had been made previously.

"If you wish to continue you our game we can. Although, I think I will only continue aggravating you. Perhaps it is better if we just talk. We never get to do that and it seems that we are more prone that than silly games." Tiraris let her head fall forward into her hands. "It is up to you love. I have no preference."

'Liar!' her mind cried. 'You want to talk. You want to spill your heart out to him. You want to and you and are afraid! Always the same story. You will never get anywhere in life because you are forever living in fear!' Tiraris massaged at her temples, hoping to sooth out where her thoughts were going.

Trying a small smile again and relaxing enough to rid himself of the prominent crease in his brow, Caden reached his hand around her middle in an attempt at hugging her closer again. "No, come on!" he pleaded playfully. "Let's keep going, it isn't silly. I actually like that game, it keeps me thinking.

"And you don't aggravate me with it," he tried to clarify, nuzzling against her hair. Caden didn't understand what she was trying to tell him, though, despite the clear reasoning she'd given. In all honesty he thought she was just trying to be polite and not rock the boat again by shooting for the tamer choice of conversation.

Tiraris melted into his embrace, feeling safe and protected as ever in his arms. She leaned back to rest against him fully, allowing her head to drop back onto his shoulder. Inside she mentally sighed. 'I am a coward. I want to talk but I will say nothing. Yet, on the other hand I always get my own way. Why should I continue when he never gets to do what he wants? Because he must know this and this is one of the first times where you both may be calm enough to go from start to finish. I cannot.'

"Very well then my question is-no," she interrupted herself in mid-sentence, changing her mind. "No I do not wish to play this game any longer. I want to talk Caden. Playing the game gets us nowhere but frustrated. It is time we really knew more about each other and not in the middle of a fight. I do not wish to lose this chance when we get so few of them."

She realized then how demanding she sounded. In some ways it was a return to a role she once held, the bratty noble's daughter who would not take no for an answer. However, Tiraris also saw it as her crushing out Caden's will to do what he wanted to do. 'I always get my way. But, that cannot be healthy for a relationship. Again I take and give nothing in return. Such a pathetic woman I am, a shrew like my mother before me.'

Slowly the assassin disentangled herself from his arms to turn around. She moved to straddle his legs, pressing close to him once more in another embrace. "I leave the choice of what we do to you. But, whatever it may be I am not leaving from this spot even if I have to forfeit a hundred turns in the game," she informed him, clinging tight.

He'd just been getting comfortable and settled-in again with her not a moment before she was flipping everything onto its head again. "No?" he sighed, a bit confused with her seeming openness one minute and changing her mind the next. He couldn't really help the twinge of soreness he felt by her wording; it had him thinking she thought they were just going to continue to fight and argue as much as they always had, which he'd never liked but had yet to find a solution to all of their issues.

Just as quickly as she'd accepted closeness in his own way, though, she was gone, at least figuratively, and he laid there just staring at her, blinking at her in silence at the contradictions she'd just posed. Caden really wasn't quite sure what he should've done by this point. She'd left it up to him and claimed not to have a preference, and then she'd said she hadn't wanted to play any more games at all. Now they were back to where they'd been before, with him needing to make the choice, and he was worried now that what he offered might continue to get rejected.

"That's alright, you can stay there," he started slowly, the words not entirely confident even with her lying on him again. It was an odd feeling to have, to be unsure of whether or not it was actually a good thing to have his loved one there like this now. "We can just...talk. Um, is there anything you particularly wanted to know?" He immediately questioned the soundness in his decision to ask such a thing, though, with how uncertain she seemed to him lately, especially now.

"Never mind," he corrected quickly, a flash of a cheery smile trying to cover up whatever apprehensiveness might have been there. "So..., the place we were before? The tavern? Is it really the only place to get your special drink? You really like it that much?"

The tension between them was almost palpable. 'Did I make a wrong choice? He seems so-I do not even know how to describe it. Caden, what am I doing to you? Maybe we should have just played. I am a fool. I never should have wanted my own way. I always do this to him. I always win and we both suffer.'

She was just about to say something when he changed his mind and asked her a question. Unbalanced by the seeming non sequitor. The smile was somewhat reassuring but a part of her still recalled the nervous tension surrounding him and wondered what to do. Tiraris slid back off him to lay spooning his side again, one leg slung across his as her arm encircled him and head was pillowed by his chest.

"Yes it is the only place to get it. That particular alcohol has an extra potency because of me. I was in a sour mood the first time I went to The Dirty Mug and was drinking like a fish. I was reckless and joined in drinking bets. Never lost once. They kept making the drinks stronger and mixing more and more things together until I out-drank everyone even the town drunk."

Tiraris chuckled slightly at the memory. "I liked it and when I returned I asked for it to be made again. Every time I came back I always went back for that drink. They finally just made it specially for me, using it for the whipper-snappers that decided they were big and tough. The establishment talked of how it was a drink made for a little lady and how no man could last past three drinks. Still holds true today. They call it Scarlet's Poison after me. It is a legend all of its own."

The assassin pulled the furs closer around them and nuzzled closer, listening to the crackling fire in silence. "Is there anything else you would like to ask Caden? You can ask me anything, I will answer. I think I am ready for you to know me," she chuckled teasingly, "to know what you are getting yourself into."

He'd thought he'd been clear enough, though in his state it probably couldn't be said for sure. He was fairly certain he wasn't going to get anything he wanted, which he was fine with but just felt like kicking himself for getting his hopes up again. It had already been a very long day for him and it really took most of the self-control he had left to just bite his tongue and not voice his unhappiness about things he felt were very petty in their current circumstances.

Her story, at least, was intriguing having not heard the whole thing before. He wasn't quite sure what to say of it besides a short, "Huh, that's impressive," though, and he felt a bit guilty for that and jealous as well. It felt weird to not even be as enthusiastic about something as she was, even if marginally. He realized, then, that he would have much preferred some nice quiet time to feeling this sort of disconnect.

"I'm actually not too sure right now," he admitted, averting his gaze to stare at the fire instead even as he brought his arm around to hug her close again. "Unless you have something you'd like to talk about, maybe we could just stay like this? I... I always miss the little moments. We don't really have them anymore."

"I miss the quiet moments too," she replied softly. Her hand ran gently up and down his chest as she just enjoyed the silence of the moment. 'How do I always do this to him? He looks so unhappy and I know it is about me. What am I doing? Is he-I mean could he-would he? I do not know. I want to-he would never. Right?'

Tiraris bit her lip hard as she fought with her indecision. 'Courage you spineless coward!' Resolved to try she turned her head to feather kisses across his neck and jaw. "Caden would you-I mean do you want-could we-" The assassin's uncertainty was disconcerting even to herself. It was so unlike her to stumble across her words and not know exactly what to say.

Her hand lowered from his chest to his stomach. "I love you," she whispered, letting all of her emotion come out in those three words. "If you wish to, I think I am ready for-" Tiraris stopped as she blushed heavily and buried her face in neck and out of sight. "We do not have to. We can just enjoy the moment if you want. I want to do what you want to, whatever that is."

'Poor Caden, the mixed signals I must be sending him. But, I really-maybe I am ready. Only one way to find out. My control is getting better, he should be safe. Is he even interested? I told him no earlier and now I-I am so stupid! Why do I this? I never should have said anything. Now he does not know what to think. Oh Caden, I love you so much, if you only knew.'

Caden honestly hadn't been paying much attention to her nervous fidgeting until he felt the light contact traveling across his skin and heard the surprising uncertainty in the words spoken at his ear. It was the movement of her hand down to his belly that had him tensing up in realization even as she continued on with her fluttering chatter. It was never spoken plainly, but he did not need that to understand.

He was very still. He was quiet and fairly motionless. It felt like some cruel trick of fate to think, now, that she would ask about something he'd sorely wanted for them since...well, day one. It had not been love he'd first been conquered by, but lust. To him this was just a painful reminder of that, of the fact that he'd tried to be so patient thus far and that he would continue to do so if need be. "If you'd said that a half hour ago I would have jumped at the chance," he said sadly and then winced, "...no pun intended, honest." As soon as she hid her face, though, Caden figured he'd lost his opportunity with the words that followed.

In all honesty he wasn't sure now whether or not she was sincere or saying it just to say it and actually wanted him to decline. He thought it was the former, prayed and hoped that it was. There was a momentary brightness in his eyes but it faded just as quickly as he lay there feeling rather crestfallen at the idea of choosing the ultimate wrong and possibly destroying her trust and faith in him for good. Reaching down for her hand, he brushed fingers atop it before taking it up in his grasp to bring back up to hold. "How about when things settle down... You did once say that you wanted to wait until your lessons with your magic were sorted out before we...tried anything," he encouraged, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I don't want you pushing yourself too far before you even know where you can go with it. But..., you actually want to?" he asked with a raised brow for the seemingly sudden switch in attitude. It only occurred to him after the words had left his mouth, though, how dense he probably seemed to ask such a question of his lover.

Tiraris raised her upper body slightly, moving to allow Caden to see the serious and truth in her eyes. "I know you would have love. It is why I honor you so much for your restraint and patience. Yes Caden, I do want to. I was afraid before, but not now. I have come far in my lessons, I can do incredible things now. Is it not you who always tells me that you can handle me, that you are not fragile and will not break? If this is what you desire then we can wait. I will not push just as you have not pushed me."

She leaned down and kissed him slowly before pulling away enough to speak against his lips. "I love you and can think of no other man or demon that I would want to share everything that I am with. My heart, my body, my very soul are yours for the taking, they always have been. Please take care of them, for I am lost without you."

It was nice to have a bit of acknowledgement, but about this subject? He couldn't deny that it still made him tense. As much as he appreciated her still holding his promise in high-esteem it was also a very real worry of his that he might let her down more than he already had. There was no secret now about the condition he'd been in several times before already.

He could not ignore how it felt, though, to have her there and being so kind to him. It was practically criminal how easily she distracted him with her sweet actions and words that teased out that tight feeling in his chest all over again. It was so tempting, too, so very, very tempting to just take what he'd been wanting, what was being dangled in front of him right now.

Reaching his arms around to hug her close against him, Caden seriously wondered if he'd ever get this chance again. A torn look crossed his face before he leaned in to claim her lips up in another kiss. He kept it brief, though, much as he didn't want to, and whispered to her in return, "I want you more than I could ever say with words, love. I am not afraid of dying, but I would be a fool to be reckless with what life I have left with you.

"I want it all and anything..., anything you want I will do, but, if I may, love... We need to be absolutely sure about everything we can control, wouldn't you agree? Wouldn't you want to check before we try something?" It was very upsetting for him to grasp what he was proposing to keep giving up, but he would be an absolute liar if he'd have suggested anything to the contrary.

His embrace, his kiss, it was all a sugar-coated lie. 'He does not want me. After all his hounding after me he not only does not want me, he does not trust me. And when will be sure Caden? We will never know if we do not try. How can one even "test" it as you say without doing it? You say you want but then you cower away. That too is my fault. It is always is my fault is it not? I damage you, destroy you. You are so right Caden, time is running out. Your recklessness is that you continue to stay.'

Tiraris did not say a single word in response to Caden. She was too hurt, too angry, too rejected to do so. She laid against his body, absorbing his warmth. There was an amount of pride that swelled within her for her control, she had not screamed or argued, she did not flee or tense. The assassin known for her temper and skill had remained seemingly still and complacent despite the war raging within her.

What he hadn't expected at all was getting no response from her at all. The look on his face slowly fell to one of uncertainty, shame and disappointment after it'd gone on a few moments too long to be comfortable. He wanted to be supportive, but right now he was at a complete loss of what to do with her. Caden was confused, to put it lightly.

He wondered if he'd made the wrong choice, if being honest hadn't been the correct answer. It saddened him to even think of all the reasons she might not be speaking now and he was sure none of them were good by the look on her face. The beginnings of heartbreak was the best way to describe how he felt inside in that moment when he realized something had gone wrong, that there seemed to be an ominous air about them now; this sensitive subject he'd tried so hard to preserve was, he felt, crumbling in his hands with each passing moment it carried on.

Yet, in those hands, he clung to her tighter. Turning his head a bit to look down at the fur he'd already gone ahead and dropped, Caden leaned up to sit them up properly as he took the time to readjust himself to be more comfortable. Settling back down, though, he refused to have any less than one arm securely around her waist at all times. "Tiraris?" he finally tried. "...What do you think...? About that?"

He carried on anyway, though, staring at her just trying to catch her eye for any little thing. "As long as you're still alright even with knowing the risks... And you're okay with my being rusty and all," he trailed off, giving her another squeeze as he gradually tipped himself over onto his side to try and bring her down.

She kept still and silent watching and waiting to see what he would do. Tiraris allowed herself to be lowered down and smiled encouragingly when he talked of continuing. 'Does this mean he does want me? But, what if he is right? What if I hurt him again? No! No Tir you are going to have faith for once. You are going to believe yourself and trust that you will not harm him. Believe Tir, believe.'

Words would could not describe what she wanted and what she was feeling. Her acknowledgement of his desire was to take Caden's hands in her own and slip them under her nightgown and over her chest. She smiled nervously up at him as she let go and raised her arms above her head, inviting him to remove the thin bit of cloth that separated them.

"I would not know if you are rusty or not, love. It would not matter to me either. You are and always will be the only man or demon for me. Caden you will forever be my first and only lover, you could be the worst in the world and I would still think you the best, for you are my heart and soul." Snaking her arms up, Tiraris latched onto Caden's neck and pulled him flush against her for a passionate kiss.

It had become almost too easy for him to forget; as desperately as he'd wanted his chance with her he'd still often forgotten that she lacked experience where her marriages had been numerous. All that spoke for now was her actions, that smile. The mere fact that she'd offered to allow him more of what he'd been craving... Well, the nightgown's encore hadn't lasted for long as he'd pulled it off of her yet again now. As soon as it was gone, though, his hands were settled back down against her skin fingertips first to trace back down along her shoulders.

He hadn't lasted very long before his hands began to roam again, though, far too tempted already and finally with full permission. Her words, while appreciated, were gradually being tuned out except for a few key words as the realization further sunk in that he was finally getting this opportunity after months and months of, mostly, patience. Had he had the proper time to reflect he might have even had some small celebration, but now was not and never would be the time for matters of such...urgency, to him.

He hummed briefly in acknowledgement of her kind, heartfelt words as whatever he would have blurted out and strung together would not have been nearly as comprehensible nor flattering. Instead, Caden focused his attention on the pressure first at his neck and then his lips and...well, then all bets were off.

With white knuckles he grabbed at her and held on as if his own life depended on copping a feel in such a rare instance. What feelings that had been fluctuating before were now ringing clear in his head, eyes wholly focused on the movements along the smooth column of her neck once he took a moment of brief disconnect; his hands ventured further down, one hooking a leg by the underside of her knee to pull her closer around him.

Now that he'd gotten his foot in the door, so to speak, he was eager yet a bit hesitant to move along too quickly now that it'd been made easier for him. So, he took his time trailing kisses down along her neck and sneaking in the occasional nip while letting a hand tease fluttering fingertips up along her thigh. It was high time, he thought, that she feel just a bit of what she'd brought unto him. "You better tell me soon if you don't want anymore, love," he whispered in warning between shallow breaths. Or she won't be able to blame me for what I've done.

The emotions coursing through Tiraris were amazing to her. Fear, love, anticipation, lust, the list went on and on. All the while she clung tighter Caden, her anchor to reality in the midst of the raging tide that sought to pull her under and make her lose herself in it.

Her hands grappled to hold Caden closer. Every contact of skin on skin was not enough, she wanted more. She sighed and mewled under his every touch, unused to the sensations he brought to her. For once in her life when the assassin dug her nails into flesh it was not out of defense or anger, for once when her teeth latched on to nip and bite it was out of passion.

Tiraris growled at Caden's hesitation. Later when the moment would be over she would reflect on it and love him more but right now as her body shivered under his every caress and kiss, her mind was clouded by other things. She bit him gently close to the jugular, not even bothering to sooth it as she raised her head to his ear.

"If you even think of stopping now I will castrate you!" she threatened harshly before claiming his lips as her own once more. She pressed closer to him, craving what she had been denying them both for months. The thought of her magic going awry was from her mind as the couple consummated their love for each other. Yet, just beneath the surface a new manifestation of her magic was forming, building, and waiting to be released.

He hadn't been expecting the bite, even though he should have, having already gone back to his previous work, but it did give him a moment's pause and elicited a sharp hiss as he raised his head to look her in the eye. The chuckle at her threat was muffled as he smiled and leaned into their kiss again. He kept it fairly short in his eagerness to get back to his prior tasks. In this, he wasn't shy at all.

If he could have gotten away with it at some point he probably would have done a little victory dance. The end of a personal marathon in his adult life was right within his grasp, so near. He didn't think he would be able to let it go this time and, honestly, was ecstatic that she seemed to finally want the same. Now the thought of something going wrong with her magic was far from his mind. Instead, he focused what attention he had left on her and only her.

There were cycles of frenzy and calm, movements both trembling and smooth in traces down along her body. He was having a hard time keeping his hands or lips in any one place for more than a moment, but he took particular care in turning Tiraris over onto her back. There, he did his best to pin her down and took his sweet time leaving a trail of kisses down from her chest to stomach between ragged puffs for breath and a low growling in his throat.

To say the least, he was feeling terribly possessive. It raged through his mind more than ever that she was his. That was something Caden was fully prepared to take advantage of, but even he could not and would not deny that the same went for him of her.

Faster and faster she was falling into the sea of love and lust that Caden was dragging her willing into. Her breath escaped her in tiny huffs as she struggled to hold on to her sanity. Yet, with every brush of his skin on hers she sank deeper into the haze of insanity.

Pinned beneath him and weak as a kitten from his sweet torture, Tiraris had no way to get what she wanted. Her head shook from side to side and her body rocked as she tried to force him to hurry up. "Caden," she growled deeply in warning. "Quit it! I am yours always and forever. This will not be our last time for this, so hurry up and get started. Do not delay what has already been pushed off for far too long. You are killing me," she mewled out at the end, bucking and pouting in impatience.

"I am yours and you are mine. Unless you want to lose me to someone else I suggest you hurry up and claim the prize you have been denied for all the circles you have run." The assassin smirked and twisted her wrists, breaking her arms free at last to latch onto him. "You cannot win this one dearest. Give in, give up, and enjoy it." A husky laugh rumbled up from her chest and tickled against her throat on its way out. "Or are you not demon enough?"

It startled Caden that there was any protest at all. Slowly raising his head, the frustration was obvious both in her tone and actions, but he could only smirk at her eagerness now. How fitting it was, he thought, that now their usual roles were reversed. The way she was trying to lure him in more was something he entirely saw in himself and he didn't struggle to keep her arms when she broke away. Instead, he latched a hand at her waist as he laid himself down atop her to sandwich her down instead and let the other roam freely wherever he pleased.

"I will enjoy it," he whispered against her neck between a series of kisses there as he tried to calm himself down enough to continue coherently, "But, you're not seeing that I like this." He raised a brow in teasing question with the reminder as he lifted his head to nuzzle against her jaw.

"What's your hurry? I like it..., do you really want it so bad now?" he snickered.

"Beast," she barked, pulling him closer still. "You are going to be the death of me. My control only lasts so long Caden. I am afraid to lose myself in you." Her tongue flicked out to lick the tip of his ear. "Can you live with that? Can you handle being forever mine and having me as yours forever? Once I let go there is no turning back."

Tiraris chuckled throatily, arching her head back to allow him more access to the pale column of her neck. "I love you but, right now I only want to kill you so that I can go back to loving you." A gasp and a shiver interrupted her from continuing for a few tense moments more. "Oh how you must have hated me all these celibate months. How the tables have turned and how I love you all the more for it. Kiss me," she demanded as she always seemed to do around him.

Her hand snaked behind his head and pulled it close. Nails raked harshly against his scalp as fingers tugged at the silken strands. Even from her place on the floor the assassin was still in the fight for control, a fight she knew she had no chance of winning. 'Does not mean I will not go down fighting. More enjoyable that way anyway'

While he knew her control was fairly unpredictable that wasn't going to stop him from trying to push the limits. That was easy for him to do, though, considering he had very little to go by with her thus far. For all she seemed to have to say, though, he had next to nothing in return but that knowing smile as he let her keep going on while he appreciated the view of her quivering movements. "Fine, but I don't think you'll have luck like you've been having anymore," he replied with a chuckle before wincing and moving under her hands at the position of danger she threatened his precious hair with.

"Be nice," he warned as he lowered his face closer to her. It was only to brush lips with her, though, testing whatever he might be able to get away with in continuing to tease her somehow. After another dart at her he finally kissed her proper again. All the while, though, he made no effort to hide the fact that he was trying to wedge his knee between her legs.

He soon discovered, though, that he no longer wished to take his time with his goal being so near. His hands grew greedy yet again as he made good on his efforts to press her against the floor. Breaking away to hover just a hairsbreadth above and breathing in a light, panting manner now, Caden took to nibbling lightly at her lower lip. From there, he worked his way back around to follow her jawline up to her ear in a merciless teasing for just a small bit of further payback.

If she could have Tiraris would have purred at finally getting closer to what she wanted, what they both wanted. Her resistance was minimal, more for show than actual strength. This was not a fight to the death but a mock show of power, something she was whole-heartedly giving up to Caden.

His pants and caresses were coming stronger and made a warmth of pride ignite within her chest. 'He is like this because of me. I do this to him, I make him pant with desire. From now on I will be the only one to make him this way. All mine and yet at the same time all yours.'

Tiraris widened her legs, allowing Caden to fall in between them. Her grip loosed on his head, fingers trailing down to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. Then in a final act of submission, the assassin who never lost, raised her arms above her head and opened herself up for attack. Eyes shining with the purest of loves told of how she was only meant for him. Full lips parted to break any last barriers of hesitation. "I love you, Caden," and then she smiled. 'I love him. I really do'

The smallest acknowledgement was all he'd needed, but he'd received much more than that. It'd been so easy to lose himself, so easy to give in to what he'd been craving for months. As much as he'd been wanting to savor their time together that had proven to be difficult in the moment. Now that it was over, though, he didn't regret it one bit.

Nestling himself down to spoon her with a lazy arm draped across her, the demon couldn't help the plastered grin on his face as he breathed gently against her neck. Despite the changed eyes and visible fangs, though, a steady purring persisted. Caden had so many reasons to smile, even with the still-stinging marks littered across his skin. There was no way he was going to pass up her earlier admission now and he fully intended on taking advantage of the promise.

He heaved a big, happy sigh before pressing his lips to her neck again and nuzzling against the bend where neck and shoulder met. "How're you feeling now, love?" he asked in a low voice, blind to the easy opening he was offering to his pride in his current state.

A pleased hum reverberated up from the pale column of her throat as Tiraris laid her head back on Caden's shoulder. "You know, an assassin is quick and precise in her movements. She is as quiet as the beat of butterfly's wing and as calm as the surface of a pond on a summer day."

Long limbs raised overhead as she stretched and snuggled closer to him. Rolling to her back she continued, "yet with you I was none of those things." Soft, sweet laughter peeled from her throat. "You wore me out," she bemoaned.

Tiraris smiled as she listened to him. "I love it when you purr. It is just so sexy, especially when you look like this." Her thumb came up to trace the edges of his face, his jaw, his lips, the ridge of his brow, the bridge of his nose. "Kiss me?"

It was so nice to hear her laughter again and see her relatively care-free for once. Perking up at her praise, Caden watched her hand's movements with a pleased, hazy look in his eyes. Adjusting himself against her and lowering his head, though, he couldn't help the thoughts and wonderings running through his mind now as the steady hum of his purring became a bit louder.

"You know... You said that wasn't going to be the only time we'd have together, Tiraris," he began as he lifted his hand to trace fingertips across her stomach and then down along her side to let it rest at her hip. He obliged her with a brief kiss before lifting his head enough again to continue, "And I want more... Can we go for seconds, love?"

Hoping to evade an impulsive "no", he immediately sealed that question with another kiss.

The teasing movement of his fingers skimming over the flesh of her stomach sent pleasant fluttering feelings through Tiraris. The lower the hand the went, the stronger they became until she instinctively crunched her abdomen in on itself to avoid the tickling sensation. A painful wince was quickly masked as a firm blink.

"Insatiable beast!" The pain of her first time was still lingering and only accentuated through his every touch. "Besides," she continued, eying him with dancing eyes, "did no one ever tell you? After you do," the assassin waved her hand dismissively "that you have cuddle time."

She was trying to distract him. The last thing Tiraris wanted was for Caden to know that she was hurting and his insistence was making that difficult to hide. While his second kiss had been enticing she would not succumb to the temptation. Some things Tiraris would just not do and right now admitting pain to her love was on the top of that list. 'Right next to castrating him,' she mused with a chuckle.

He took her sudden movements as simple adjustments and, therefore, didn't think anything of it or suspect anything at all. What he did pay attention to was her easy deflection of his question. Hunkering down and breathing against her neck for a few moments as he thought, he wondered if she was truly as tired as she'd claimed. He figured, though, that it probably wasn't worth the energy spent to think about it and he should just enjoy their finally peaceful time together and oblige some of her needs.

"Of course. I'd just thought that maybe it wasn't, you know, done, but I want that, too." And he did. Caden was all too eager to pull her in bask in her warmth, and that's exactly what he did. With his arm firmly wrapped around her, though, he was thoroughly convinced the vibrations in his throat couldn't get much worse.

Licking his lips a few times to try and get it to settle down a bit made no noticeable difference to him, but he knew he could at least be thankful that she enjoyed it and didn't find it a nuisance. Despite his eagerness, he was surprised to realize how off he felt himself. Perhaps, he thought, he just felt weak still from that unfortunately long sleep holding him dormant, but he wasn't accustomed to feeling...well, this tired.

It really has been a while. Guess it'll take some time to work out the kinks, he tried to reason with himself, though his expression quickly turned to one of questioning at the seemingly unprovoked sound of a giggle and his still less-than-innocent wants at the moment. A small hope began to form again that she might still be in a good mood for a little while and that they still might have a chance at a second go after a break. "What's got you laughing?" he wondered aloud, nudging and kissing at her neck a bit at skin he thought might be tender by now.

"Caden you are incorrigible!" Tiraris pressed her hands gently on his shoulders in mock protest while she secretly enjoyed his kisses. "You just cannot bear the idea of going three seconds without it can you? I said we would do this more, that did not mean immediately after."

She rolled her eyes and nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck and shoulder. "I was just thinking about you," the assassin replied. 'If I tell him he will either get really upset again or think it is another reason to jump me. Oh Caden, I love you but you drive me insane sometimes.'

Tiraris listened to his purring right next to her ear and smiled as she pressed closer. She thought of the way his eyes and teeth had changed and began to wonder some things. "Caden," she began hesitantly, "how much control do you have over this." The woman ran her fingers across his throat and up over his lips and under his eyes. "You changed during...I liked it."

The assassin sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "My beautiful demon, I have missed you very much love. I am sorry for being so cruel to you these past few months. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for loving me and claiming this lost shell of a woman."

The added little uptick in his mood reflected well enough in his expression just for hearing that she was thinking about him. Hoping he might have done something she found amusing, he was all too eager to hear more from her. He didn't quite understand the hesitancy in her voice, though, and he had to consider her words and be wondrously aware of carefully and gently she seemed to be with her touching as she continued on.

Caden gave a snorting huff but not much further acknowledgement of her last statement as he knew he would continue to despise it no matter how it was worded. "Well, you're mine and you aren't cruel... Mine, and nobody else's," he snickered, still trying to keep the mood light. He'd decided he still wasn't quite sure what Tiraris might have been implying, if anything, by her words. He did know that he could really only explain it the way he experienced it.

"But about my control..., if you're really curious... I would think I have some. I can do it whenever I want for the most part, but there have been times where it's just...happened. Kind of forced to, I guess, but those are pretty rare," he explained.

"I had hoped I could have kept a handle on it, it's hardly ever happened before like this... But why did you...like it, though? For the novelty?" Silently, he also hoped he hadn't been scaring her with it, even though she'd never said anything like that before. Still, he thought their current calmness and close hugging and cuddling spoke volumes for whatever would go unsaid.

"Novelty is not the word I would have used," she replied, swinging one leg over top of Caden and rolling them so she was leaning over him. "Do you really think that I could really settle for something so plain an ordinary as a normal human? I like it because it is you, because I know I can get as good as I give."

Her hand trailed along his collarbone where numerous red bite marks shone starkly on his pale skin. "Who else but you could keep up with my temper and my strength? I like it because your eyes glow in the heat of passion, because you hold nothing back, because I know that when I am with you it is only me that you look at like this. This is why I like you no matter your form. Your losing control just means I am the one that brought you to feeling like this and that Caden, is the power I like having over you."

Tiraris fell silent for a bit as she brushed kisses along his jaw and nipped his ear. Slowly she made her way over to the other ear where she whispered an admission. "For the power I have over you is but a small fraction of that which you hold me with. Caden D'Andarce the Neqa'el who has captivated my heart long ago is the only one who will ever be able to come close to controlling me. Careful now love, you hold a ball of fire in your hands, do not get burnt because when I am with you I always burn brightest."

Rolling with her and flopping down onto his back, Caden's smile grew wider again the more she continued on with this sort of talk. Her touches only did to remind him of how unexpectedly strong she'd been in leaving her marks, but that had been a pleasant surprise more than anything. It was something he was used to associating with himself in claiming territory, but it seemed that she was just as eager to keep ahold of him as he was of her and he liked that.

He liked that she knew and was willing to acknowledge what she did to him and vice versa, and that he was more sure than ever that she might actually be willing to acknowledge their more...intimate needs. Or at least his. The affection she showered on him now just did to further increase the intensity of the purring. As she started nipping at him again he just brought his arms more tightly around her, ready to be playful once more, but his face grew more serious at the sound of her voice at his ear.

Whatever true warning her words might have held was mostly lost on him for the sweetness she was affording him now. The tough assassin admitting she loved him like this was more than he'd needed and would have asked for, and there was a particular softness in his eyes for it. It was even more evidence that he need not try as hard as he had been if she liked him the way he was.

He was going to pass up another opportunity, though, and slowly pressed a few kisses to her exposed neck. "I don't think I could ever control you, per se, love, you're too strong for that. I do know what you mean, though, I think... Actually, I'm not thinking very straight right now," he admitted with a low chuckle before going in again for more kisses, letting the tips of his fangs graze against her skin whenever he thought he could get away with it.

"You know I would do anything for you, right? If there was ever a thing you needed or wanted..., you only need to ask. And...well, I really meant it about staying for life. I guess we have a rougher road than others, but I have no idea where I would be without you. Probably still floating around spending my days doing this or that... What does such an accomplished lady see in me, hm?" he wondered.

Soft hissing breaths escaped the assassin's lips at ever playful nip her lover took at her neck as she in turn returned his low chuckle with one of her own. "Lady? Hardly! When have you ever seen me do something becoming of a lady?"

Tiraris sat up, pressing the palms of her hands flat on Caden'ss chest, she smirked lustily. "Would a lady tease her man? Would she mark and claim him as her own? Could she even take as much pleasure in love-making as I do? I do not thinks so. Ladies are demure little birds, waiting to be eaten alive. I rather think myself," she looked up in consideration, her ample chest unconsciously being thrust further into Caden's line of sight.

"I do not know. What would you consider me to be Caden? Surely I am not a bird as well? Perhaps a wolf or fox? A creature of the night that much is certain." She chuckled and lowered down once more to steal another kiss. "What am I besides eternally yours, Caden?"

"Little birds, eaten alive," he repeated slowly, still hung up on her admission of enjoying what they'd just done. As she raised herself up he found his eyes drawn straight up to her chest. A grin caught somewhere between sheepish and wolfish quivered at his mouth. Staring up at her, he honestly wasn't paying much attention to her words now as he watched every little movement of her breasts while his hands began a slow trail up the sides of her thighs.

He thought he might be able to just glide his hands on up with no trouble at all, but realizing he was being spoken to gave him pause and immediately halted the purring. Hearing his name, he stopped his hands at her hips and blinked stupidly for a long, silent moment as she kissed him and he tried to remember what they'd been talking about.

"Um. What-what you are?" he asked again, taking the opportunity to drum his fingers lightly against her where they were. "Well, definitely something powerful, yet sexy..." Clearing his throat, he tried to act like he'd been paying attention the whole time as he continued, "Maybe...a wolf. Or a panther..., but you have the right hair for a fox," he pondered, sacrificing a hand to reach up and run fingers through that unmistakeable red hair.

"What...do you think, love? I think I quite like a fox; beautiful and graceful, yet brutal when it needs to be."

"Mmm do that again," she commented, referring to his hand running through her hair. It sent delicious tingles up and down her spine, lulling her into a sedate state-of-mind. "A fox?" Tiraris kissed Caden's nose before lowering her lips to his ear. "If we are going on the basis of hair would that not then make you a peacock?" She tugged playfully on his lavender locks.

The assassin continued to kiss his neck and shoulder slowly when she was forced to shift her weight due to the pain it was bringing her knees. The sudden movement though had her pushing her upper torso above Caden's as her fingertips pressed tightly into his shoulders. She gritted her teeth against the pain in her lower abdomen as she took shallow breathes.

Knowing that hiding it any longer was no longer a possibility, Tiraris smiled tightly down at Caden. "Seems round two is going to have to wait a while. You have broken me, you naughty boy." A playful wink and a chuckle revealed no malice or anger towards her lover, just pure love and adoration.

He was happy to oblige her, to do it again and again until the motion was tugging out a louder purr from him. It was just as pleasing to know that she was getting better at going right for the weak spots he favored. And, somehow, he still never minded at all no matter how much she messed with his hair. Even her playful tugging wasn't bothering him in the least. "A peacock?" he squawked, his eyes bugging momentarily before a chuckle rumbled its way up and he once again relaxed under her touches.

"I guess so. I stick out a bit too much for my own good..., but as long as I'm still impressing my mate, I don't care." His pleased, toothy grin couldn't be budged as he slid his hands up along Tiraris's back even as she crawled further up. He didn't see the tight jaw of gritted teeth, but he did feel her hands and hear that shallow breathing. All he could think was that it meant she wanted more as much as he did, that maybe she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud, but his hopes were crushed again all too soon.

"You're that tired already?" he asked, surprised as he searched her face further confirmation of this. Not willing to give up the contact they'd built up, Caden brought his arms around her to hug her close as he leaned to try and sit them up. "Are you sure you don't want to just...try?" His voice was just a little too hopeful, that proud smile now swapped for something gentler that tried to be more encouraging.

"I promise I'll be good," he vowed with a teasing ring to it. "Or would you rather just, um, well..., you know." Caden realized pretty quick that he was losing his momentum on this and that, unfortunately, he would have to accept defeat for now. The shine in his eyes wasn't so bright anymore, but he was still willing to cling to any shred of hope he might have. "Is there anything else you'd rather do, love? Or...anything I could get you?"

An ember of warmth invaded Tiraris' heart at Caden's calling her his mate. It always seemed to make her feel like she was queen of the world. 'Not that I even remotely desire being that.' However, his continued begging for more quickly deflated that feeling.

Pushing him back hard against the floor. "No means no you insatiable beast!" she growled out clenching her legs close together against the pain. "Just shut up and enjoy the after-sex cuddles. It will be something new for you. I promise it will not kill you." The assassin rolled her eyes and laid back down a top her lover and pulled a fur blanket around them.

Quieter now she explained to him as best as she could, hoping it would not upset him. "Caden I love you but, as unimpressive as I may have titled you several months ago, you are still a big boy. I am a bit sore which is why if you come anywhere near me with that again for a while, I may have to make good on our age old threat. Please do not make me do that dearest. I like my new toy and would hate to have it taken away from me," she pouted, looking up at him with big pleading eyes.

Cuddling close, Tiraris rested her head back down on his chest and listened to the soothing beat of his heart. "If you are truly inclined to do something though, you could tell me something. I do not know what but something. I want to listen to your voice."

With a muffled "Oof!" as he was forced back down, Caden momentarily bared his teeth out of instinct before his brain finally worked enough to tell him he wasn't in a fight, that he wasn't injured or in under any real threat at all. Finally settling down and allowing himself to relax, her insistence on this was something he wasn't used to, but he did know she loved some good cuddling. For her words, he was willing to make a compromise for now.

Bringing his arms tighter around her, he nuzzled against her hair in brief, silent apology in their silence before she decided to speak again. Quickly realizing just what she was talking about, his expression jumped from entirely satisfied to concerned and back again in a matter of seconds. "Alright, fair enough," he agreed for the pleading look in those bright eyes.

The hints she gave was all the encouragement he needed to think he should attempt to still please her somehow. His more high-strung excitement was quickly dwindling now that he knew he had no chance to further them sexually. If all she wanted was to hear his voice, he could certainly give her that, though. "How about a little story, then... Long ago, there was a man who made the mountains his home. He was quick and cunning, usually, and strong and smart, too. He was rarely happy, though.

"He drank his nights away with whatever money he scraped together and gambled quite a lot. At least he was fairly good at it, but he always managed to make more enemies than friends with the way that he played. For a long time coming it would be unfortunate for him that he'd gone and cheated the wrong witch a few too many times. A spell was cast as punishment for his deceit. What became of him after that was even sadder than before.

"He became such a sorry excuse for a living being. Even the few things that gave him joy before hardly gave the bit of a rise that they had before. He was ruined for most any enjoyment in his life for many, many years. The man didn't know the details of what had happened to him, only that something had. For decades he continued to walk the mountain paths just barely living any life worth living; it was like a lot of his emotions were just locked away during that time and he was getting by on whatever instincts spurred him to... But I guess I could tell you the rest some other time, I don't want to spoil this." Punctuating the last comment with a gentle hand stroking down the length of her hair, Caden gave a brief hum as he rested his cheek against Tiraris's.

It pleased her immensely that he was playing along and even going so far as to tell her a story to please her. Content to just lay there and listen, Tiraris hung onto every word that he spoke. Each rise and fall of his voice, each syllable drew her in more until she was completely trapped within the lure of the story.

The content too gave her pause and made her think about her own life and the lives of many others she had encountered over time. 'Lonely, drinking, doing things for the thrill of it, is that not how we both were Caden? I know I was. I would drink the town dry and if I was still standing, walk to the next one to do it all over again. Then, I met you. Then, I realized I could have a life other than the one I was living. I realized I could be happy.'

Smiling softly, the assassin nuzzled her head against him and continued to listen until he trailed off. "Hey," she grunted, poking him in the arm repeatedly. "You cannot just end it like that! No fair!" Sitting up slightly, to look at him, Tiraris glared before softening the gaze and kissing him.

"I love you, Caden D'Andarce, more than life itself. Would you please continue? Or does it upset you too much? I was liking it. I guess I am not one for really happy tales." She shrugged weakly and laid back down, hiding her face in his shoulder. 'Stupid, stupid, stupid! How many moments do you get like this together? Not enough! Why do you always ruin it!'

"No fair?" he chuckled at the sight of her glare. He didn't really need much convincing, but it was nice to see her caring enough to ask even if it was something he thought was mostly sad.

"It doesn't upset me, no. I'll keep going," he assured, bringing his hand up to stroke her hair again for her comments. He figured he shouldn't be particularly worried about her wanting to know more even if it wasn't happy since they seemed, at least to him, to be out of their angry, depressing rut for now. "Well, he carried on like that for a long time, until he met her in his travels. She was young, but incredibly strong and, once they'd gotten to know each other, always gave him a run for his money... He realized that there was something different about her and, eventually, was able to see that he loved her. He thought that she was the reason he was feeling better and was having an easier time of being his usual self again.

"For years they carried on in that nice little balance they had. He got her to agree to move home with him, up on that mountain, and they were happy for many more years to come. They had children, two boys a few years apart, but then she became unhappy. With their boys, what little money of his kept running dry, and there was hardly much they could live off of their land with, but he kept them fed, at least. She wasn't happy living that way, though, depending on him, depending on what little he could hunt and barter for. Even though she was well past her prime for marriage, she eventually left him to take care of the two boys while she left to go back to her relatives in her homeland.

"She wiped herself clean of those years of her youth and he only ever saw her once or twice after that, in passing. He was back to his emptiness, though, that spell a heavy weight on his heart well past the heartbreak and burdens he was left with. He raised those boys as a shell, and even hollower than before with each passing year." At this point, Caden had moved to continuing that gentle stroking of her hair and along her shoulders, his face a bit somber.

"He could have easily shoved them off onto someone else or let them fend for themselves -they were definitely old enough-, but he continued to raise the boys without their mother. He would tell them much later that, at first, it was only their resemblances to her that kept him going, that he had thought so much of being selfish and leaving them for some other life. The eldest could see, though, in what rare moments his father had, that there was still something there from the time their mother had still been there, that their father did care, if mostly silently.

"The man kept his word to himself and stayed with his children, but there was a day that something in him broke. He was unreachable and would not utter a word. The eldest did what he could for his father, but nothing would bring him out, nothing got him to speak or brought the light back to his eyes ever again. It was months later that word finally reached the small villages below the mountain, that she had died and was already settled in the ground. It was the youngest son that heard it. When he brought the news home..., his father finally spoke the first words he'd uttered in that long, silent time, and the last words they would hear. 'I'm going for a walk,' he'd said.

"And he did. He went for a walk straight to that city where he'd met her. He walked straight the spot he was told she was buried at, and sat beside her for the rest of his days. He never returned to his sons. He never moved. He never ate the food or drank the water brought to him as he sat day and night beside her, they were told. He finally succumbed to sleep, though, and laid down right there, still refusing to move off the land. On the fifth night he finally drank some water, but on the eighth day he died. The boys never saw their father again, he was long buried by the time they'd even gotten word of the strange man that refused to move or speak.

"The brothers went to their mother's family..., but they were rejected for their illegitimacy... But that time has long-since passed," Caden finished, offering a slightly sad, gentle smile as he kissed at her temples. "The spell...the curse has lived on in the man's family, but no one has ever been so crippled by it as he was... Does that satisfy your curiosity?" he teased gently.

Tiraris' guilt was assuaged by Caden's continuance of the account as well as his soothing petting of her crimson locks. 'Of course, a woman. Cannot have a story without a woman changing things.' She smiled, hugging close but remaining otherwise still and silent. 'She sounds like me. Is this us? Oh, no, we have not had children, yet. Not us then. Yet, it sounds so real, like a story he has been told many times before, a story that was once someone's life.'

At last the story came to an end and the assassin had to admit, if only to herself, that she did feel sad at its close. "Aye," she replied softly, sitting up fully. "I am satisfied." For a while she stared into the dying flames of the fire in contemplation before at last sliding off Caden to sit beside him.

"I would do the same," she finally spoke. "Should you die before me I would wait at your grave to join you." Her eyes slid over to his face briefly and then returned to the hearth. Tiraris licked her dry lips as she tried to find the right way to say what she wanted. It took her a few attempts but at last she continued again.

"The story, it is about your family. The curse is your curse. The old man a great grandfather of yours somewhere along the line. It sounded too real to be anything but truth. Time dilutes things makes edges dull and memories fade. Yet, this was no far off tale. It was real, was it not?" The assassin refused to look at the man she loved. She feared that if she did she would never learn the answer she sought, that she would fall into the pool of his gaze and happily sink, never to return from love's embrace.

As she sat up, Caden slipped his hands down along her arms to rest lightly over her own hands for a moment before letting them fall away as she moved off of him. Looking up at her and glancing between her face and the fire she persisted in staring at, or what little was left of it, Caden wondered for a while if he'd made a mistake in telling her even that much of what he knew.

What she did eventually say brought another sad smile to his face knowing that whenever that time came they would both take care to do the same for the other, much as he didn't like thinking about it. He was surprised that she continued on, though, even asking about what he'd just told her. "The story... Yeah, you have it right," he said, albeit nervously as he wasn't sure where she might've been going with that.

"Yes, it is our curse..., and it was and is real, unfortunately... He was my grandfather. It was my father that told me his story," he admitted. "Or what he knows and remembers of it, at least." Pushing himself up to sit, Caden reached out to brush her hair over her shoulder as he looked on to the dying flames again.

"I know I haven't told you much of my past or what our curse means for me..., but if there's ever anything specific you'd like to know you only need to ask," he offered. "I can tell you what I know, at least, if that means anything for us."

Her eyes finally drew away from the fire as he touched her hair. Sadness reflected in his pair as they watched each other. At last Tiraris leaned into and nuzzled her head against his neck, leaving little kisses along the warm surface. "Curse or no curse, magic or no magic, we love each other?" It came off sounding like a question even though that was not her intention.

Tiraris rested her forehead against Caden's shoulder, still avoiding his gaze. "I want to know. There is so much we do not know about each other, our pasts," she smiled slightly, "our dreams. That is what being together is about, learning and growing together. I am not afraid nor am I naive or foolish enough to believe things will not be hard, that we will not fight, that we will always be happy all the time. I do want to know but, when you feel you are ready to tell me. You have always been so patient with me Caden. I too shall wait for you."

As she sat there, Tiraris became more and more aware of her nakedness. She felt completely exposed and vulnerable. It was not a feeling that she was accustomed to after having spent so many years as an assassin. Part of her screamed at her to move, to flee, to escape, to fight, while another part demanded her stillness, her silence, her closeness to the love of her life. Still unsure about the conflicted war her heart and mind were waging within her, she whispered the three words she always swore she would never say and seemed to say constantly to Caden. "I love you."

He found himself following her with his eyes, even going so far as to tilt his head to keep watching her as she drew closer. Apparently, their affections hadn't hit a wall after all, and a twitch of a smile kept growing for each little touch or kiss. Reaching out to her, Caden tried to bring her in closer for a warm hug as he listened to her. "Yes, of course," he tried to assure her, uncertain as to why her words weren't really sounding so solid. "I love you very much. Nothing's changing for me."

As she kept going, though, he fell silent and just listened to her, let her get out whatever it was she was wanting to say. It surprised him that she wasn't jumping at the chance he was offering, that she was so mellow right now. At first, he was at a loss for what to say to really get his message across, but he made himself just sit there with her and wait. Caden was also very still, only moving his hand along her back in what he hoped might be a fairly soothing pattern. Again, those words.

It always had something within him melting to hear her being sweet, to see her being so honest. Whether she realized how it affected him to have her reassurances he did not know, but that was something he couldn't really see himself asking about either way. "If we are not ready, then we're not, but I am ready to tell you. I think you've been patient enough in waiting this long. We don't have to talk about anything now, if you don't want to, but the invitation is still there whenever you might feel comfortable enough, Tiraris." Adjusting his arms, he glanced down at the discarded fur covers and then up to the bits left in the hearth that were beginning to smolder. He wondered, briefly, if she was cold even though she didn't feel it to him.

"Was there anything you wanted to know right now?" he coaxed again, unsure if he should leave it and let her decide or keep pushing if she was just hesitant. "Or..., would you rather do something else entirely, get it off your mind? We could always...," he trailed off, glancing back towards the small alcove that was her room here, remembering the small bed that had been there. "take things elsewhere. Take a nap, maybe..."

"If you are ready, then I am ready." The woman grabbed one of the few chairs in the room behind her and dragged it up close behind Caden. She climbed up into the chair and let her long legs fall on other side of him as she went to work combing her fingers through his hair and massaging his shoulders.

Tiraris leaned forward and pressed close to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed his head. "Caden, love? If you really are sure then I would like to ask a few questions. Answer what you want, I will not force you on this matter. But," kissing his ear she sat up and resumed her efforts, "I would like to know more about the curse. You told me about the mates but, is there more? Is the curse being the Neqa'el? Or was your grandfather already one? Who was the witch? Is the curse something to be broken? Is it even something worth breaking?"

Worriedly she worked harder at kneading his neck and shoulders, letting her long hair slip over her shoulders and down over his. 'Easy does it Tir. He gives you a sun and you take the bloody fortune. Let the man have a chance woman! What if I asked too much? Is he just humoring me? Gods above, I am such a fool!'

Watching her as she brought her chair over, Caden adjusted himself hesitantly, unsure at first what she was going to do until she'd made her intentions clear. It was so soothing and relaxing to feel her fingertips teasing his skalp, running through his hair and then the warmth that came of her kneading against his shoulders. He was silent as she spoke and offered up her questions. Of all the times he could have opened up to her about this he figured now was the best opportunity he'd have for a long while.

"We...-- I'm actually not too sure. My grandfather was a Neqa'el. We don't know much of how it works, but my uncle and father are Neqa'el and our mother is...mostly the same. Our kind's history goes much deeper than us, of course, but we have always been fairly few and far between. We know of a few clans, but we -or at least my father- isn't well received by some of them anymore," he chuckled sadly.

"I haven't really gotten close enough to any of the other families to really know if they have anything similar, but it is in ours. I'm not sure if it might carry on if my sister had children..., but if it's still like it was with my father, any children of mine will probably have it, too. What details we might have known about our curse that my father or uncle don't know died with my grandfather, but the witch... Perhaps he sought revenge on our kind for something... I doubt he still lives unless he's been using the help of magic all these years." Tilting his head to look back, Caden smiled sadly up at her.

"All my father ever told us about it that the witch said was that the curse was a punishment for my grandfather's greed. He would only ever be happy with one partner, should he ever find them, and that their death would not get rid of his torment if he failed to. He told his sons that he never took it seriously until he was living it. By then...I think it was too late." He fell silent for a time, leaning his head back against her as he dug through what he remembered of his childhood, what he remembered of his father and mother and the talks they had had about what afflicted their family.

Unfortunately for Caden, neither he nor his sister knew all the things there were to know that they would have appreciated about their history, about their lineage, about the curse they carry on. "I don't know if it can be broken," he finally began again, staring down at his arm where her hair overlapped some of his own. "If it could be, I don't know what would be required to change it, right now. Would you want to try and find a way to break it? Would you...not want children if they had to deal with that? I don't think I'll ever be able to promise that it wouldn't affect them," he regretfully admitted with a set frown. Caden wasn't really liking where his thoughts were going, either, hating that he would probably never be able to give his partner in life something easy and without much stress.

Tiraris nodded her head slowly as she listened, just trying to take it all in and process it in her mind. She knew things would not be easy for them but, she was feeling confident that this too was something they could overcome in time. The woman smiled down fondly at Caden as she ran her fingers through his hair and brushed against his ears.

"It is not a promise I want you to make," she replied, leaning forward to kiss his lips. Hovering there she continued, "if the time is right and we want children, then we will have them. I want to be the bearer of your brood." She kissed him again. "I love you and everything that makes you, you." Another kiss punctuated the statement. "As for breaking it, we will cross that bridge when we get there. For now we are happy and w are together, that is all that matters to me right now. As long as we have each other things will turn out alright. I believe in us.

"Now," Tiraris stopped to give him one more long kiss, "thank you for sharing that with me love. I know that was difficult for you and that you were uncomfortable about it. In turn I ask you, is there anything you wish to ask me? Or would you rather do something else?" The assassin sat back in the chair again and resumed her gentle touches as she watched the dying firelight bounce off Caden's lavender-colored hair.

Shivering slightly for the continued touching, Caden remained where he was through her kisses. There was something different about it all, now. Just a few hours prior she was upset and, even if not entirely seriously, trying to kill him. It was so easy for them to go from entirely unhappy to a state of calm in such a short period of time. He wasn't complaining about it now, he loved being with her like this and able to just relax and talk, but it did intrigue him and get a little thought running in the back of his mind about when this might come to a crashing end for them all over again.

For now, though, he was more than willing to just enjoy it, especially when he kept getting those odd little bursts of warmth in his chest and stomach. He wasn't getting choked up or anything, but really hearing that she wanted to be the mother of his children sparked a particular sense of pride in him. He still wasn't entirely seeing how silly it was for him to put his time into worrying about trivial things when Tiraris seemed perfectly content with how they were. He didn't know if that was all true or not, but all he could do was accept what she was saying.

"If you want to talk about it more, ever, I wouldn't mind. It wasn't uncomfortable, there are just so many things I could say or get into, especially about my immediate family; I have been alive for a few human lifetimes, after all." Caden finally rolled his head to one side to face forward again before continuing, "I guess just...how's the training going? You seemed very okay today. Do you think you're...done?"

The assassin snorted and chuckled. "Nice Caden, make me sound like the little baby you have robbed from the cradle. Dirty old man, you!" But, then he was going to more serious things and Tiraris froze in place, glad that her love could not see the blank look on her face.

She ran her sweaty palms across her thighs as she pursued her lips and tried to think of a response. Yet, words failed her. Honesty was key however, none of her normal words of twisting the truth would come to her. At last she was forced to go with a minimal answer; the less said the better. "No," was all she answered him with before she got up from the chair and stretched.

Smiling she dropped down into his lap so that she was facing him and wrapper her arms around the back of his neck. "What did I do to deserve you? You spoil me rotten." Tiraris dropped her head forward tiredly and buried it in the crook of his neck. "Carry me?" she asked softly. "We can sleep in the big boy bed instead of that shitty cot he gave me." A slow chuckle danced from her lips as she clung tighter. "Promise me something Caden. Promise to never let me go."

Caden didn't notice her nervousness with how he was sitting, but the sudden silence was a bit unnerving after asking a question where she was usually so sensitive about the subject. He'd been getting ready to say something when she finally gave her brief reply and got up. It wasn't a few moments later, though, that she was back down on his lap. Staring at her as he felt her arms brushing against his neck, the demon was very tempted to move so he might be able to drop down again with her. He knew it wasn't likely to work, however, and she'd already reminded him of her threats of castration far more than he was really comfortable with, let alone in a day.

For now, though, she seemed fairly content with what they already had going and was already keeping up her sweetness. "Believe me," he chuckled, "I don't spoil you nearly enough." Caden didn't think she needed reminding of all of their travels on the road, but her question did to easily distract him from it. "Carry you?" While sleeping sounded absolutely perfect right about now it still wasn't the only thing on his mind. He thought he might still have a chance later, if he kept at it, but he was still wary of what he'd already been told about her soreness. Whether it was entirely true or not he didn't know, but to him it was worth figuring out, even if all it meant was trying to soothe her.

"Sure...the big boy bed," he answered slowly, furrowing his brow and averting his gaze to look off towards the door that led to the other room. He didn't like letting her jabs slide, but, unfortunately for him, by the looks of it she was tired and ready for some rest. Her next words caught him a bit off guard, though, as he held one arm beneath her while the other was used to help him stand them up.

He didn't know why the thought even entered her mind, if he'd maybe given her some reason to think he would leave. It took him a few moments to get his thoughts around to the idea that she might just be wanting some reassurance after the things that they'd talked about. To him, that didn't seem like such a big deal, but if that was what she wanted he wanted to give that to her. Taking them across the room, he didn't bother to take down the clothes that were still hung up to dry and just carried on to the mage's room. It wasn't much bigger than Tiraris's, but she was right about the bed looking much more comfortable.

As he closed the door to bring darkness around them and took the necessary steps to cross the room, Caden bent her ear to whisper, "I won't let you go. I'll always be here." Sitting down on the edge of the bed he reached up to stroke her hair with one hand, watching with that same gleam of hope in his eyes from before. "Are you sure you're ready for bed?"

She clung tightly to him as they moved about and entered the intimate darkness the room. It was colder than the main room without a fire burning in its hearth but, she was oblivious to the chill. Tiraris pressed herself closer to Caden and fought back tears that she did not understand. "Not tired," she whispered into the darkness that seemed to want to reach out and steal him from her.

"Caden I-" she pulled back slightly to look at him but could see nothing. "I-I want to." Tiraris felt incredibly shy and insecure in that moment. Most of all she felt terrified, terrified that he would leave her, that he did not want her now that he had what he been after, that she could satisfy him, that she would never be good enough.

Her hands moved to flutter up and down his arms before dropping to rest between their laps. "Can we do something different? I want to do that but I want to try something. Is that alright with you?"

The timidness and hesitation he heard in her voice, if it had even been that, was so rare for her. 'Want to'? What does she want? he wondered, his brow furrowing briefly as he tried to work out if they were actually talking about the same thing. He knew was he was hoping for, of course, but she was so quiet now that he wished he had candlelight to see her face.

As he felt her hands running along his skin, his eyes flickered in clueless search for something he could not see. Her questions seemed so..., well, unusual for her; Caden was more accustomed to her just taking what she wanted and doing whatever she would where questions were oftentimes, he felt, simply out of regard for his presence and his opinion wasn't much wanted. Now, things really seemed different, that she was asking his permission. He had an idea about what she might've been up to, but he would let her carry on without trying to embarrass them both.

"Love, we can do whatever you want and try whatever you want, I won't mind at all," Caden tried to assure her, smiling, to hear that she still wanted it after so firmly saying she wouldn't not that long ago -though he'd forgotten it might be difficult to even see it in the dark-, as he leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. A hand brushed lightly up her back before splaying out warmly against her to ride the curve of her shoulder. "Here..., let's lie down?" he asked, moving his other arm back to scoot them up past the edge so he could swing his legs up more comfortably. He couldn't believe she might actually be going for this again after all of his hints and asking, but he was trying very hard not to come off as too eager for anything now that he thought it was within reach.

She knew it was going to be painful; she knew that she would probably have trouble walking in the morning; and she knew that the mage would have quite a few things to say to her come morning. yet, all of this knowledge was obsolete in comparison to her want, her need for Caden's closeness. Tiraris did not know why, whether it was lust, his story, her own fears brought to light, or just female emotions. In truth, she did not care either. For in the caging, blinding darkness of the room, Tiraris' only desire was to be held, to be loved, to be safe. She wanted the things only Caden had ever been able to provide.

Laying down so that they were chest to chest, the woman so well known in her line of work for her cruelty, rained gentle kisses on his skin. There was none of the scrambling and biting of before. The desperation was different now. Each touch was new and electrifying as the dark enhanced what her eyes could not see.

"I want to be in control this time," she finally spoke, a hint of pleading in her tone. "May I?" Tiraris was worried about rejection. Here she was so new to all this and wanting so much to please him, to love him. She needed him yes, but like a child seeking approval she too wondered if she was making a mistake, if she would do something stupid that would make him not want her anymore. "Please, may I?"

Easing himself back, Caden was definitely surprised to see that she had actually followed after him. There was no way he was going to lie about how nice it felt to still have her warmth so removed from the fire. Her kisses were so soft and easy now, carrying on how affectionate she'd been before.

At first he found himself just watching her, watching whatever movements he could catch or whatever dim light bounced off of her hair. Still keeping his hands pressed firmly against her he made another pass at letting them roam along her body, grazing fingers along the curves of her back, dipping down to her waist and hips. It was then that he heard her. In the deafening silence only broken but the sounds of their movements her voice thundered in his head. Caden laid there just staring at her as she continued to ask. When it was finally punctuated with a "please" he hurriedly nodded his head and hummed. "Yes, I didn't know you wanted anything like that," he admitted in a whisper even as he tried to turn them over onto their sides.

"Is this new? Or were you wanting that all along?" he asked, feeling quite guilty all of a sudden for the thought.

Her cheek brushed softly against his as she nuzzled close and hunkered down, preventing him from rolling them to as he had intended. "How could you know," she brushed his hair away from his neck, "when I did not tell you? I do not expect you to know my mind love, only my heart. New? I guess, maybe."

She fell silent, just breathing small puffs of air on his neck and listening to his own breathing in turn. "I just want to take care of you the way you do me. I just want to make love to you, give you all that I am, cherish you, savor you, worship you." Tiraris blushed heavily and was thankful for the very dark that she feared. For while it might swallow up Caden and forever keep him from her, in this moment it protected her embarrassment from being seen by him.

"I love you. I just want to show you. At the moment, this is the only way I can. Let me love you Caden. Let me make you feel as warm and euphoric as you make me." Her hands were moving again. One slipped under his head and tangled loosely in his soft hair while the other ran down his chest. 'Let me hold on so that I may never lose you. Let me keep you from the darkness that wishes to claim you. Let me protect what is finally mine to call my own. Let me love you.'

He couldn't really say he was unhappy with the way things were going, what with the way she was reenforcing what she wanted. Remaining quiet and just listening to what she had to say, though, Caden frowned to hear that she thought it was the only way to make him happy, or so he believed right now. "Tir, wait," he insisted softly as he felt her fingers winding into his hair, teasing at his skalp.

"Um. Love, is something wrong?" he cringed, trying to assure her, "I just want us to enjoy our time together, I don't want to be worshiped when we do something out of love..." Bringing a hand up to cup her face, his expression was rather worried and contemplative now even with the darkness, thinking she might be wanting it for the wrong reasons.

"It's not the only way you show me... Do we need to talk?" he asked, his concern finally outweighing his desire to have her again.

Tiraris was not about to give up so easily. The hand on his chest moved back up to press lightly on his lips. "Shh, love. Words can wait. This is what I want. You. Me. We. Us. Unless, this is not what you want. I can stop if you ask me to. Although, I thought that you wanted this as well."

She kissed him deeply and slowly. "Seems I am no good with words, Caden," the woman whispered against his lips. "Nothing is wrong; I am sorry I made you think there was. I just, I wanted to share my love with you. If I am displeasing to you then I will stop. What do you want Caden? Tell me, and I will do what you ask of me. Whatever it is, I will do it, just as I know you would do the same for me."

Bracing herself for a rejection she sat up, resting her palms on his chest to support herself as she stared down at him in the darkness. Within her chest her heart beat louder and louder like a drum signaling the end. 'Or is it the beginning? What do you want, Caden? What do you want?'

He kept his eyes trained upon her as she spoke. A brow was slowly raised in anticipation of her faltering in what she was saying, and he was satisfied enough when he realized she seemed sincere and was finally able to relax a bit more. She seemed tense, though, to him. It still left the slightest temporary creases of a frown in his features to not be sure of his own confirmation that she was alright, that there wasn't something else he was missing. It only did to further complicate things that he still wanted this with her.

Ultimately, he knew it was really all he could do to go with his gut. Trusting her now in this was more important than speculating a thing she was already denying. He thought they had gone through enough that day and questioning a good thing... Well, it just wasn't his usual self. His old self, at least. Things were changing and he wasn't quite sure all of it was for the better.

"All I wanted right now was knowing that it's honest. We can do whatever you want to do. If you want to try something, we can try it. And I believe you, I just wanted to be sure; there's no fun in it if I'm the only one having a good time," he explained with a smirk as he tried to move so that he could lean up enough to steal another kiss with the dark surrounding them. A hand lifted to trace fingertips in a lazy pattern down along her arm as he asked, "So, why don't you show me?"

A sigh of relief escaped her lips as Caden agreed to her request. 'So he did not reject me after all.' Smiling in the dark she leaned forward, finding the middle to let their lips meet briefly. "Thank you, love," she whispered against them before pulling away once more.

Tiraris exhaled slowly, a nervous smile twitching at her lips as she just ran her hands back and forth over Caden's chest. 'Yes, both of us enjoy it. Of course! Really Caden, all that matters right now to me is you. Thank you for letting me love you.'

She felt very shy and unsure of herself as she adjusted their positions a bit until she was satisfied. Taking his hands in her own and interlacing her their fingers together she leaned forward to kiss him as she settled back down.

Her movements were slow and precise. Like in her work, she was careful and exacting, no move was made unnecessarily. She was doing everything in her power to make this time special for them, to cast away the darkness, to claim Caden as her own.

Their second time around was very different than their first. Tiraris was not as feral in her approach to love-making. It was much more raw and emotional this time around as she gave up every part of herself up to him. As she had expected it was painful, but still she persisted. She would not stop until they were down, until she was exhausted and spent from the effort.

"I love you," she cried, feeling tears begin to slide down her face in those final moments. "I love you. I love you I love you I love you." Her body was shaking from the effort as she at last relaxed and fell forward to lay once more across Caden's chest. "Thank you," she whispered once more hugging him close. "I love you."

From there he fell quiet as even his eyes strained a bit for the darkness. Nerves were on fire everywhere they touched and it was so different for him to not be the one in control. The way she held onto him had Caden baring his fangs as things progressed; everything about it was going against his instincts but still left him not wanting to change a thing.

His senses were going crazy with it all. Everything was so different from earlier yet still so nice in its own way. Tiraris was doing all the work this time, but it was still so intimate and caused such strong feelings and reactions from him. For every breath she took a growl from the back of his throat would echo. Her words were clear, but every noise made had him gripping her hands tighter and soon clawing to latch onto her hips instead. Leaning to rock with her through the rest had him working up a sheen of sweat for all the effort after going such a long time without.

Falling back with her as she laid against him, Caden's knuckles were turning white with the absurd effort he was still putting up to hold her close just as she was with him. His lips trembled as he finally felt he could begin to settle properly when more words reached his ears. A smile was there as he leaned his head enough to nuzzle against her cheek and along her jaw. Full of an understanding and appreciation for what she had done for them, he breathed a sigh of happiness for once.

"Thank you," he insisted while adjusting his hands to splay against her shoulders instead. "And I love you, too... Can we just stay like this for a while?" he pleaded softly, keeping his eyes just barely lidded. "You've defeated me for now," he teased, licking his lips as he tried to will his fangs to retract as some consolation for the purring he felt would begin again soon as those telltale rumblings were already surfacing.

She nuzzled close, sated and exhausted from their efforts. The darkness had been dispelled for now, although she knew it would return again one day. For now though she was content enough to press kisses to her lover's lips and occasionally sneak her tongue into his mouth to run against his fangs.

But, soon enough even that became too much effort as the need for rest became stronger. Tiraris shivered lightly and tried to curl closer around Caden. "It got cold," she commented quietly, breaking the stillness of the room. Tiredly, she felt her eyes droop until at last they closed. Her breath slowed and she nearly fell asleep as she imagined what it would feel like to lay here with Caden all night, bathed in the warmth and light of a roaring fire.

The assassin had nearly dozed off when a loud pop sounding from near the foot of the bed and a bright light pierced the darkness of the room. Startled, she sat up and glanced behind her, her eyes widening at the sight before her. "Caden? Tell me I am not imagining that," she whispered in disbelief as she stared at a roaring fire.

Her heart beat fast and strong within her chest as she continued to stare open-mouthed. "Caden?" A slow smile curled her lips and she chuckled hysterically. "I think I did that." The laughter came a bit louder now and she turned to look at him. There was a mischievous look in her eyes but, if one looked closely the slight fear could also be noted there. 'Did I really do that? Does this mean it is over? Am I at last free?'

From where she rested he could feel her heartbeat, but Caden was even more aware of the breaths she took. Watching and waiting, he fully expected her to fall asleep. Reflecting as he brought his arms around her, though, he couldn't help but wonder how long this peace might last. He had gotten what he'd been wanting for so long, but it was icing on the cake to just be there with her. It wasn't what he'd expected at all from it, yet there they were.

Settling into the rhythms of their breathing, he even took to purring for a while. At least, until he heard the noise. Partially lidded eyes snapped open only to see a glow forming around her. Puzzled, his immediate thought was that the mage had returned. He was ready to spring into action to preserve their peace, but before he could do anything he heard her speak. "...you see it, too!?" But that was when he heard more pops and crackling that piqued his interest enough to lean over to look around her where his eyes met the mass of fire.

Alarmed, Caden curled up closer to the head of the bed and tried to pull her along with him. "You did that? How? What is that? A spirit? How did you do that? ...don't set the house on fire," he pleaded, trying to keep a lid on his panic and instincts screaming at him to flee from the seemingly untethered flame.

"Caden, my magic! I was cold and then there was fire. I mean I cannot believe it!" Tiraris was on the verge of bouncing up and down in excitement and at first did not notice her loves nervousness. "Oh, of course Caden." Closing her eyes in concentration, the assassin sent tendrils of magic out towards the roaring fire and demanded that it settle.

Like a whip cracking against the back of a great beast the fire recoiled down to a gentle blaze, bending instantly under her will. "Caden!" she squealed uncharacteristically, now bouncing up and down and hugging him close. "Did you see? At last!" Her cries and exclamations were verging on hysterical. After decades of fighting her magic and trying to control it, she was finally on the road to freedom.

Feeling jubliant, Tiraris pulled Caden's face close and kissed him thoroughly. "You know what this means do you not? Oh Caden I...I do not even know what to say. Should I try testing it some more? What do I do? Caden?"

Her excitement was clear, but Caden was having trouble reciprocating as he didn't fully understand what she thought was going on. Watching as the flames settled to a warm glow, though, he was beginning to realize that she really was controlling it. Her squealing and cries had him diverting his attention, eyes shifting back and forth between the seemingly unpredictable fire and his mate's uncharacteristic burst of excitement.

"I saw, I saw!" he assured, chuckling at how she bounced about like a child who'd just had a beloved toy returned to them. Caden did not, however, understand what she thought of it. "...what does it mean, love?" he asked curiously, hoping she wasn't setting her hopes too high. "Well, let's not make such quick assumptions... I don't want you to be disappointed if it doesn't work for anything else, but... If you would really like to I wouldn't mind you testing it some other way," he agreed, wanting to support her despite what skepticism he held about how much they could trust the magic right now.

Tiraris rested her head lightly against Caden's, looking deeply into his magenta eyes with her crimson pair. All of her love for him poured into that look, her fear and her hope. For a moment she just stayed there, silent and peaceful. The assassin was hellbent on memorizing this moment, her first thread of hope in what felt like centuries. She was overjoyed that she was able to share it with someone. It was not just anyone either. It was him, the love of her life.

Her lips curled into a warm smile. "Do you trust me?" she whispered, her voice as fluttery as the fire crackling before them. Like a cat, Tiraris nuzzled her face against his, rubbing their noses together gently, her eyes never leaving his. Her hands came up to cup his face as she sweetly kissed him once more. "Do you trust me?"

He could see there was a particular calm about her, even within her excitement, but his face still stood in a stark contrast of bewilderment. Her happiness was matched with confusion, as he wasn't even sure the occasion; Caden did not yet understand the good news in this particular instance of her magic as he had grown to think of fire plus Tiraris to equal anger, frustration, and pain.

But the pain did not come.

Wary eyes remained upon the glowing fire nonetheless as his instincts grappled with the idea of focusing as she asked more of him yet. All of her affection and touches left him conflicted as he still struggled to keep his attention upon her. "Trust you? Of course I do," he finally spluttered out, a sincere, if nervous, smile there as he tried to guess what she wanted with him. "Why do you ask, though?"

Tiraris continued to smile, feeling as if she would burst at her seems from the roiling sea of emotion dancing within her. Yet for the first time in her life she actually felt as if she had some control over this. For the first time she felt alive and human, when before she had been an empty shell, a demon of the shadows.

"Because silly, I want to share something with you. I want to try something but, I do not want to frighten or startle you. I do not want to hurt you...again." She sobered briefly as she lowered her hands to trace the scars she had already bestowed upon him in her anger. The fresher scars did not hide the old and it dampened her spirits some to see the destruction she had wreaked on this former temple of perfection.

"Will you let me try Caden? I feel so different now than from before. So much emotion, so much love is bubbling up from my soul it seems and yet I feel so much more in control than I ever have in my entire existence. Even as an innocent child I never felt this free. May I share this with you, love? May I share my happiness and my relief with you? May I prove myself at last free?"

"You won't hurt me," he insisted, confused as to what exactly she was getting at now. He was both anxious and apprehensive, and he didn't really understand what all the fuss was about, other than that something had changed. Her own explanation, though, caught his attention easily enough.

"Free?" Caden narrowed his eyes and immediately took to gathering her up in a tight hug. "Love, please... we've had a nice night, can't we just leave it at that? I don't want you to hurt yourself or get upset over...that right now. Haven't you had enough for one day? I know I'm exhausted," he tried, desperate to coax her away from the touchy subject right now. He didn't understand what she was thinking about or what she was feeling in the moment, but he knew from their past experiences that moments where her magic came into play had been fairly dark for the most part.

The flames within the hearth died low in response to Tiraris' disappointment. In her euphoria she had not understood her mate's confusion and wary attitude to her newly discovered control. Despite his assurances that he trusted her, she could not help feeling much like a small child being humored even as Caden pulled her close.

"As you wish love," the assassin sighed as she allowed her head to rest against his shoulder and chest. Shivering slightly from a chill brought on by their previous activities and the lack of heat coming from the hearth, Tiraris curled up tighter in Caden's embrace.

She took in that quiet moment, deep in thought. So many things would change come morning, some many things already had. For the first time in her life, the former noblewoman felt powerful and in control of her life. Before she had always been her mother's doll or her employer's sword and scapegoat. Now she was her own woman. She had love and now a chance at life. For the first time since childhood she allowed herself to wholeheartedly hope and believe that she had a chance, that they had a chance.

Squinting up at the man holding her and smirking, the assassin quickly switched moods from disappointed to playful. "Exhausted already?" she drawled. In truth she was as well and already feeling the strains of pain from using muscles in completely new and different ways. But, any chance to teasingly harass Caden was going to be taken. "And here I thought you had unbridled stamina. Those girls in Ketra must be too easy to please then."

All he felt was guilt to see her enthusiasm wilt. She was quiet, too, and he desperately wanted to know what she was thinking about as he lied there idly stroking her back. That ended rather quickly, though, as Tiraris began with her playful questioning.

Caden frowned and sighed for his manhood being on the line, even jokingly. Tilting his head to kiss the top of her head, he shrugged and returned offhandedly, "They were, but be patient with me if you can stand it anymore." A gradual twitching at his lips as he fought a smirk was evident, but he was feeling far too lazy to do much else or move. "Besides, it's only fair to give me a chance to train, get back in the ways of things, hm? Or are you intent upon stretching out all of your teasing?

"Does it make you happy to see me worried over this?" he asked, pouring on all the pitiful looks he could muster.

"Whoever said I was fair, love? I have gone far longer without than you. Does that not give me the right to train more? Better yet, what if I want to keep ahead of you. I cannot expect to win once you catch up," she laughing quietly. "You know those puppy eyes do not work on me. I much prefer cats to dogs, Caden."

Tiraris straightened some and nipped at her mate's ear and neck. There was no way they were going to be undergoing round three in the very near future, but that was not going to stop her from continuing to tease him at every turn. After all, what else were loved ones for?

"Should you not be more concerned for my inexperience? It is your job to please me for the rest of your life and I have a lot of catching up to do in comparison. Is that not right?"

"Puppy eyes!?" he explained with feigned hurt. "There's not one thing about me that's like a puppy! I was trying my hand at kitten eyes, but apparently that doesn't work either," he resigned with a sigh and smile. On one hand it was nice to hear her speak of such things like she was, but on the other it was concerning for him, in his arrogance and childishness, to think about the idea of his partner possibly becoming better than him. No, that just wouldn't do. Not yet, at least. In his eyes he was the king, and quite used to that idea and didn't really want to change anything about that particular ideal.

"Believe me, love, I would love nothing more than to fill your life with happiness and fulfillment, but I think it would be unfair to say you have "catching up" to do," Caden tried to explain. "Your life has been different from my own. There are things I could say the exact same thing about for myself, but these things take time. I won't argue, though, that that is my job from now on. In any way you need."

His smile now had grown warm and affectionate as he thought of what he hoped their lives would hold for them someday. Petting her hair, his attention was drawn to the hearth again. "You know... If you really want to try I wouldn't mind watching the fire. If it's small. It has to be, I don't want you getting hurt or burning the house down. Or the bed."

Tiraris chuckled in response. "Gods above, of course not the bed," she jested, winking at Caden and hugging him close. "Are you sure though? You had expressed sincere concern and reservation before, I do not wish to push you into humoring me. I love you too much for that."

Fingers that were accustomed to breaking windpipes, now gently caressed the soft column of his throat, moving upward to trace his jaw and brow. "You are too beautiful for me too mar anymore of this perfection. I have done enough of that already," the assassin lamented. "I only wish I could fill your life in turn with happiness and fulfillment, Caden. I do not think I will be able to do so for much longer though. You surpass me in so many ways, how could I ever hope to compare, to match? Out of the two of us Caden, I think you got the short end of the stick. You got stuck with me. You got stuck with me."

The red-haired woman sighed and settled against her mate. The five words repeated in her head over and over, her underlying fear driving them home into the empty space of self-loathing that her mother had left open and festering for over twenty years. All she wanted to do was prove herself, yet Tiraris felt like every chance she got to do so, she managed to fail. She could not control her magic, she could not take care of Caden, she could not keep herself from hurting him, she could not do so many things that she expected of herself and it was killing her. This woman who had prided herself in having so much control of her life was breaking down with the realization that she did not have any control after all.

Caden watched her movements curiously, perplexed that she wasn't seizing the opportunity now for all of her excitement before. He frowned slightly at the ideas she presented now, as much as they had been playful and joking. "Tir there is no need to think yourself inferior. I'd like to think myself the best one for you now, but please believe me when I say that I don't now and never will feel like I am stuck with you," he tried to assure.

"I will always worry for your safety, love, but if you feel confident in your abilities then I want to know it and witness what it is you are eager about. Please, go ahead, but remember...small. Very small. Keep it so small that you could hold it in your hand if you needed to."

"You are the best!" Tiraris exclaimed sitting up just enough to look down at him. "You are my rock, without you I am nothing." The cold-hearted assassin had softened greatly in the arms of her love so much so that even she could not understand why she had changed so much, only that she liked how he made her feel and she did not want to be without it for even a second.

"If you are really sure I can try something, small." She smiled weakly and nodded her head slightly and say up fully, letting her back rest against the head headboard as she reached a hand out to the fire, gently beckoning a tendril into the air and to her fingertips where it danced around and between her fingers like a silken ribbon.

From the corner of her eye she nervously peeked out to gauge Caden's reaction before covering her hand with her other one and trapping the fire inside. She smiled slightly as it licked and tickled her palms before squeezing out from between her clasped hands in the form of palm-sized tiger that pawed at her knuckles and chased its tail before leaping up to her should and nuzzling her cheek.

It took her breath away and made her giggle quietly to watch its antics as it acquired a bit of its own mind. She chased it across her arm for a bit before finally holding it out on her palm in front of Caden. "Do you like it?"

Caden stared at the fire licking out between her fingers, the sight of it causing his mind to scream at him that he should run away and get away from it before it burned the whole place down. But...he had to trust her. He had to trust that she knew what she was doing with it.

The shape of the flame took him aback once it emerged. It looked...like a cat. A wild one. He was definitely startled, but his gut told him to stay, to watch and see what happened. He sat there tensed up and watched, not even noticing her eyeing him until she held it out and spoke.

"Huh? Oh... It's pretty... How did you do that...?" he ventured curiously. "Why is it not....burning you? Or the bed? Or you? Or your hair? Or your skin? Or you?"

It was a great relief to her that he had not screamed or recoiled from her in fear or hatred. She would not be able to take rejection from him now, not when she had come so far and worked so hard. He was truly the one that made her fight on and stand so tall. Without him she would wither and give up, turning back to her bitter and lonely ways.

A gentle smile curved her lips as she watched him fully now. Tiraris could see his tension and wished she could reach out and soothe it away but in turn she feared startling him more. She did laugh softly when he questioned her though, finding his surprise and concerns for her endearing.

"Magic, my love. It's magic." Her eyes crinkled in joy as she gazed upon him with complete love for him. In her hand the tiger shifted its form becoming flames again briefly before taking a new one entirely. The fire split in two becoming a man and a woman each. Although their figures blurred and wavered as flames often do and there were no definite features making them no more than bright silhouettes, they still seemed to have a life of their own as the man bowed and the woman curtsied before beginning a slow dance in the center of the assassin's palm.

Tears welled in Tiraris' eyes as she gazed upon the sight. It symbolized everything she had ever wanted all in one single moment. Love, family, control of her magic, all of this and more she had deemed impossible and now with Caden beside her, she had the unthinkable.

She did not ever realize the tears that were falling down her face until she heard the faint sizzle of the flames as the saltwater fell and steamed in the dancing pair's path. "I love you Caden."

Caden simply watched the flames flickering in her palm, the shifting forms drawing him in like a moth to a light even though he'd already been burned once already. As he stared at them he found himself smiling, even thinking the figures cute, but he had no idea how much they meant to her.

It had a strange, soothing effect on him, though, to watch her magic in a controlled state. He didn't see the tears at first, even though they were of joy, but he found himself with a dark reminder in the back of his thoughts of the damage this same fire had done, both to the land and himself. It was only natural for him to wonder, solemnly, how long it might last like that.

The sizzle startled him and he visibly jumped at the sound and sight of it disturbing the flames, but he looked up at her at the sound of her voice. He smiled sadly and moved to put his arms around her shoulders in a light hug. "I love you, too. You are so precious to me," he whispered at her ear as he gave her a squeeze.

"This is good, right? Good tears? You're making progress! This is wonderful," he reminded her, trying so desperately to be encouraging to his love.

"The best of tears," she whispered even as her eyes flooded further, raining buckets of saltwater down her face. She did not mean to and even as she tried to stop them, they just seemed to flow faster. Tiraris squeezed her hand into a fist and felt the flames extinguished. Opening it once more revealed an unscathed palm.

For a moment she stared at it in disbelief before throwing her arms tightly around her love's shoulders and clinging to him as if her life depended on it. "Twenty-six years of enduring this cursed life and at last I am close to my deliverance. I am so much closer to the end now Caden. Gods above," she whispered in awe, the realization still sinking in, "I am almost there."

She squeezed tighter, turning her head to presses loving kisses to his cheek his lips, his eyes, anywhere she could. Each touch was not enough. Tiraris was a woman starved of attention and love and she craved more. "Oh Caden," she sighed breathlessly, "I love you and I am never letting go of you. Never," Tiraris pulled him close, her lips brushing against his teasingly, "ever."

Leaning back a bit to look her in the face, the demon nodded encouragingly. "It's really great to see such progress. I have faith in you, love, and I always will," he reminded her, though he was cut short by the pleasant warmth of another hug from her. Her kisses were like little sparks racing across his skin. Wrapping his arms more firmly around her, he rested his forehead against hers to nuzzle noses with her. "So, does that mean I'm stuck with you?" he teased, grinning fiendishly as he tried to fight back laughter.

"I mean where to next, my love? There's no point in staying here any longer if you've...mastered your magic, right?" It was more of a hope than anything, he was all but certain she would want to stay if only to continue to confirm what she'd seen tonight just a while longer.

Tiraris growled in a mock-anger. "What is this I hear? You do not wish to be stuck with me now? Too bad. You are mine," she informed her lover possessively, clinging all the more tightly to him. Her fingers gently traced over his brow into his hair before pulling him into a loving kiss.

"Seriously though love, you and I both know I need to stay here for a while longer. As soon as we can prove that I have indeed achieved mastery then we can be out of here in a heartbeat. Cross my heart and everything," the assassin beamed, following the action over her bare chest.

"You know if you are good though," came her musings as she looked at him through squinted eyes, "I just might be able to convince him to let you stay here from now on. But you have to be really good. Think you can handle that?"

He chuckled at her momentary playfulness and went along with it to sink them into a kiss. That lighthearted playfulness was short-lived, though. Caden was disappointed by what he was hearing, but at the same time he knew it was not right to drag her away from her training at the first sign of success. "I know," he agreed, though begrudgingly as she seemed to have the better end of this deal of theirs.

"Have I not been good enough already?" he wondered, squeezing her close in a hug he wished would never have to end. "Is the lovely Lady Tir displeased with the lowly squire Caden?" he teased, trying to keep the mood light despite his sadness and selfish desires. "Has he not been...handling his duties well enough yet?"

"Mmm," she purred, eying him critically. "You are a rather lousy squire if you really want to go there. I believe there are other duties that would require some more handling, if he is willing to redeem himself."

Tiraris smiled deviously while lowering her head to nuzzle at her mate's neck. "Perhaps he would be willing to further assist in his Lady's matters though as she is in serious need of something to warm her bed at night. It simply gets far too cold to get a good night's sleep in and you know how she requires her beauty sleep, do you not squire?"

Caden laughed heartily, knowing she'd essentially cornered him in his own game. "Oh I do know, Lady Tir," he answered playfully. "I know well how scary she can be if she does not get her beauty sleep. But I will do anything to redeem myself in my Lady's eyes," he assured her.

"As long as I can whisk her away soon," he mumbled against her skin as he pulled her in closer. "We've been here a long time."

Her fingers carded lovingly through his hair as she left a trail of kisses from his ear to the corner of his mouth. "Aye my love, we have been apart far too long. It should not be too much longer though. I cannot thank you enough for being so patient with me."

The statement was punctuated with a passionate kiss before she continued her soft whispering and butterfly kisses. "I will always be yours to take away dearest heart. Forever yours," Tiraris told him emphatically, embracing him closer as their body heat mingled together once more.

"Of course," he chuckled, amused and happy for her affections. "Being impatient would get me nowhere...so I'm happy to wait. Just not for too long," he teased, hugging her tight while he could and savoring the moment. He hated feeling greedy, craving even more affection and closeness with her even as she gave so much of herself, made herself vulnerable in front of him.

Her bare caresses practically made him purr as he nuzzled against her cheek and jaw. "The day can't come soon enough," he mourned, smiling softly for he knew it would not do to rush her when it all seemed so close, almost within reach. "But one day this will be a distant memory, you know? We're bound for greater things, so don't you worry. Take all the time you need. We'll get through this, you're already so close," he admired, relieved with what he had already seen but not wanting to put too much faith in it in case there were more setbacks.

"I cannot wait for that day, although these greater things you speak of," she said smiling and running her fingers through his hair. "I am not exactly sure I know what you mean. Care to elaborate on what great designs you speculate we are meant for?"

Her lips moves to kiss his temple as Tiraris gripped him tighter to herself in a warm embrace. She was content to just lay there with him and do nothing as long as he held her close. All she could think about was their future together. She was finally starting to believe it was possible to have one together, a real future like every other couple she knew. It made her heart beat fast and her breath catch in her throat at the very idea of it, but Tiraris was hopeful.

The demon thought on how to explain his vision to her, choosing careful words and hoping she did not feel that it was all required of them. "I can just see us living together... Happy little life and all. Somewhere quiet and homey. Maybe one day I could build us a home even, have a place to make our own and all," he shrugged, thinking his ideas too grand.

"Unless you would prefer a more mobile life. Where you go I would follow," he explained, not wanting her to feel obligated to go along with his ideas. Slowly lifting a hand he caressed her cheek, thumbing at the ridge of her jaw. "Can be anywhere you want to be."

Tiraris smiled faintly but warmly. The idea of a quaint little life was secretly a dream of hers that she had never believed possible. She had nearly forgotten her hopes of such a life in her efforts to drown out the hurts of her past. With her control over her magic growing with each passing day at last she felt she could once more dream of such wonderful things.

Instinctively, she nuzzled into his touch before moving closer to bury her face in his chest. "I would like that very much. Wherever you are is where I belong Caden but...I believe a place to call our won would be perfect," she told him hesitantly, feeling shy in the face of such big future plans.

"You seem uncertain, love," he murmured, petting at her hair gently as he tried to hide his misjudged disappointment. "I'll always be open to change with you, though. I'm lost when you aren't happy." Caden intertwined their legs more intricately, content with remaining close for the time being. It was certainly more than he'd gotten in recent times and he was going to cherish every moment he was allowed to be near.

"I," she hesitated again though her face glowed with excitement. "I have never been able to plan for a future like this Caden. It is all so new and wonderful to me. It is all I ever wanted to have someone like you to spend the rest of my days with."

Tiraris squeezed him tightly nuzzling into his warmth as she listened to the steady beat of his heart. "I thought I had lost this dream so long ago and would surely never have it back. You have brought me so much light, my love. I do not know where I would be without you. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we do it together." She smiled and leaned up to kiss his jaw. "I love you, so very much," she whispered softly as if to speak any louder would be to lose him and awaken from a dream.

"And I love you so, my darling, but please get used to it. I intend to keep you happy and dreaming as long as I'm able. Or as long as you'll allow me," he snickered, taking the moment of such warmth to hold her close and tight. "Feel free to remind me as often as you like, though. The Goddess knows I've been longing to hear it.

"And when are we to leave together? Would he feel abandoned if we left soon? Though I wouldn't blame him, I'm sure you're a model student," he praised gently. "Especially when you can do that."

She hummed softly against him in pleasure. "Have I made you suffer terribly my love? I am so very sorry. I should have been better to you. My poor mate," Tiraris murmured sadly, smoothing her palm over his chest repeatedly as if to soothe them both.

Leaning in to kiss, she pulled back in excitement. "Hopefully soon. Once he sees this I am sure the training will be close to an end at last. Then we can go home. Home," she repeated with a choking sigh, "oh does that not sound wonderful Caden? Our own home for just the two of us. I cannot wait!"

"It's yours as soon as we can manage it," he promised. "But I won't be stealing you away until he agrees, much as I'd like to. I have suffered terribly without you." He kissed her cheek quickly with a chuckle so she might not fret over his jesting. The demon stretched as much as his scars permitted before resettling his arms around her to hold her closely before giving a possessive squeeze.

"Or I might do it anyway if you allow me to stay for too long, love," he warned her with a playful growl. "Shall I get out of your hair before I'm too much of a temptation for you?"

Tiraris pouted at his jest but nuzzled in closer against him all the same, wishing she could bury herself into his embrace. "Dare leave me and I promise you I shall truly give you something to suffer for," she told him, squeezing tightly as if afraid he would jump up and leave her right then and there. "This is my night and he can sod off for all I care. I will take all the tempting I want and there is nothing he can do about it." She wriggled atop him slightly, her face displaying her pride and determination at having her mate finally within her arms, consequences be damned. "The longer he keeps me here the more I long to leave and start our lives. It will be soon now. It has to be," she breathed. "Right?"

"Well you certainly are not his prisoner," Caden scoffed. "I say we leave when you want to. If that's now then why not now, hm?" It made perfect sense to him. Why should she need permission when it was her own life and destiny in the balance? The mage had no part in it besides that of teacher and if his job was finished why prolong the inevitable?

"We should leave soon," he declared, hugging her fiercely for all her wiggling. "Very soon. As soon as you can be packed. Well...that can wait for the morning, I suppose. If it must."

"Not until morning!" she laughed, squirming about more as if to escape. "I do not fancy running about in the dark with you after such a perfect evening. You can run me ragged tomorrow. Besides," Tiraris paused to yawn before settling once more, "I highly doubt he will be all that pleased to find us shacked up in his bed naked as the moon. Well," she teased while fighting the urge to giggle, "at least I doubt he would be happy to find you in such a state."

Caden frowned, immediately grumpy at the thought of the mage being blessed with a glimpse of his lover in such a state. He adjusted his arms around her, as if he could even manage to cover her up properly. "I don't really care what he thinks of me when he's keeping you locked away here," he grumbled, knowing full well that was not what was going on between them. It made it easier for the demon to have someone to blame for his unhappiness.

"You should rest for tomorrow," he prompted her, lifting one hand to stroke along her hair and back.

She sighed, snuggling easily into her lover's arms. "How can I get a wink of sleep with you beside me like this? I fear if I sleep I shall awaken from the dream to realize my bed is empty and my sheets cold for you were not there to begin with. Would you break my heart so to realize such a thing when I can hold onto you the whole night long and basic in the beauty of such dreamy fantasies?" Tiraris smiled up at him impishly, her eyes dancing in the firelight.

"Well who am I to deny you your fantasies?" he teased, chuckling softly. "What if I promise to stay? Would that not be enough to put your mind at ease? You don't trust me enough to not be just a figment in a dream?"

"I do not trust myself, if I am being completely honest," Tiraris replied easily. "But I suppose if you promise to stay and never leave me then I suppose I can manage to rough out the night and sleep a little." Kissing his throat a few times, she finally allowed herself to settle down though, the covers pulled up warmly about them both and her person firmly ensconced in the safety and comfort of her lover's arms. "I love you, Caden," she whispered against his skin, meaning it more deeply than anything she had ever felt or said in her entire life.

Relieved that she was finally agreeing to rest he stroked a tender hand along her back a few more times as he spoke his assurances, "Of course I promise, love. Rest and sleep. We will deal with the morning when it comes and you will see that your worries are only that."

The demon hardly slept himself that night, though, too fearful of losing her to the dark or to her tutor's wrath. The man had hardly seemed more than startled once he'd returned to the cottage in the morning to find the pair there, though Caden growled softly for the way his eyes had lingered upon Tir's body even shrouded as they were.

They exchanged tense stares but the human eventually left them in the peace of their privacy to go elsewhere in his home, much to Caden's relief.

Tiraris slept the most peaceful she had in a long time while wrapped in the arms of her lover again. It was good to be held by him again especially after such an intimate evening. No nightmares and no dreams plagued her as she was comforted by his pleasing scent and warmth. It was for this reason that when she woke, slowly and contently, that she was unwilling to disturb the peace of the moment by starting their day.

She was awake when her teacher entered the shack and found them both 'asleep' in his bed. She also felt the way her lover tensed and growled beside her in warning. Tiraris was hard-pressed to not laugh or smile which would have given her away. Only when she believed to have heard the doors close and the men to walk away did she finally let on she had been awake all along. "Took him long enough to leave," she whispered, nuzzling Caden's chest in hopes of soothing his ruffled feathers.

A little startled by her voice he looked down with a playful glare to see her awake. "I think he saw something he liked," he mumbled, arms tightening possessively around her. The gentle moment of affection definitely had its intended effect, though. The demon sighed, unable to hold onto his irritation with something much better right in front of him.

"Can you trust now, love?"

"I know I do," she purred back as she snuggled up and pressed a tender kiss to his lips. "I think it might pay to have a few repeat nights though just to ensure my trust is well-founded. Did you sleep well, lover?" Tiraris smiled brightly as she continued to nuzzle against her mate and pepper his face with kisses. "I dreamed of you, you know."

Ignoring her question in favor of her much more interesting comment about dreams her squeezed her close and looked at her with playful interest. "Did you now? Whatever about? Hopefully all good things. I can't imagine what else you could have dreamed." Caden stole a few kisses when she came a bit too close but otherwise allowed her to shower him with her affections.

Tiraris trailed her fingers lightly over Caden's chest in a manner meant to be soothing to them both. "Tell me, Caden," she spoke softly to him, "are dreams like wishes in that to speak them aloud would be to see that they do not come true? For if that is the case then I dare not speak for my dreams were far too lovely to be false and untrue."

"That's a bit silly, don't you think?" Caden rolled his eyes and flashed a playful smile but was content to remain where he was with the comfort of her soothing touch.

"Dreams are dreams. Wishes are wishes. I think it's as simple as that." He allowed a hand to slide up her back to gently pet at her hair in distracted contentment. "You can tell me anything and they could still come true. The dream sprites are not going to come along and steal them from you for daring to speak to your mate," he teased lightly.

"So you'll slay the dream sprites for me to protect my precious dreams should they decide to turn against us?" Her eyes danced with mirth as she snuggled in tightly against him. His warmth was a balm to her soul that she did not realize how desperately she had needed all the years she had lived without. Now being in the safety of Caden's arms without judgement or ego made her realize all the more what love truly was meant to be. In a softer voice Tiraris whispered a bit unsurely, "I dreamed of a small house and children. I dreamed you held me as you do now though I was round with a child on the way. I dreamed you showered me in kisses as if to drown me with your love. It was a good dream."

For a moment the demon took on a very serious look, his eyes losing a bit of their normal, playful shine as his thoughts wandered to the very place he'd been wanting to take her to; his home, rebuilt with their eventual family in mind and plenty of room to grow. With her magic seemingly under control it seemed a possible dream to dream and really not too far off in their future.

Humoring her, Caden leaned closer to brush a few kisses across her forehead and cheeks, a distracted hand brushing feather light touches lower away from her hair and down along her back instead. "Tir... Love, is that a future you want?" He couldn't help the hopeful lift in his voice, but damn if it didn't make him feel uncomfortably vulnerable.

"I mean I have nothing against wandering the world with you," he assured with a chuckle. Truthfully if he was to continue doing it at all he preferred that happen by her side. Nothing was the same without her, nothing ever would be again. It would be too painful to not be at her side.

"Of course I do," Tiraris replied, an expression of pained worry spreading across her face. "Is it not also something you want? I mean I thought...," she swallowed thickly against the lump in her throat. "We could still travel if that is what you would want. I am not opposed to that."

She hated how her insecurities reared their ugly heads just when everything seemed to be getting better. Tiraris was all but deaf to the hopeful tone that had crept into her mate's voice as thoughts of his rejection of her dreams hung over her head like a massive noose.

Caden just shook his head, hugging her close and quite surprised that she seemed to be trying to brush it off. "I do want that, you'd just...never really spoken of it. I wanted to make sure. If it's something you want I think we can make it work," he assured her softly. "I would love to have a home with you. And children when we can."

Tiraris instantly relaxed in his arms. His assurances was all she needed to hear to know that all would be well and that their future was bright. "It is all I have ever dreamed of since I was a small child. At last I have a chance at that happiness and with you of all people, someone I love more than life itself. How did I get so lucky as to find you, Caden?" She stared into his lives with pure, unadulterated love before leaning in to give him a loving kiss. "Home and children sounds wonderful."

Caden just rolled his eyes, not entirely brushing off her declarations but not quite wanting to believe that he could be so lucky for her to love him as much as he loved her. That was surely a trap of weakness he'd never be able to recover from once he went down that path as much as he knew his love wouldn't waver. "Then that's what we'll have. We can discuss specifics once you're free of this place. Fair enough?"

She sighed softly her heart feeling a bit heavy. "Then shall we get up and pack and be on our way? I do not wish to spend another moment more here than is necessary. I want my life, the life I did not believe possible, I want it now and I want it with you, lover."

Tiraris leaned up enough to kiss him again, her hand clutching tightly to his shoulder. "I love you.  I do not know if you even believe me when I say that, but I do. I will say it every day all day until the gods themselves beg for me to stop and even then I shall not stop loving you."

Squeezing him close and nuzzling against his warm skin she hummed softly. "Take me home, Caden? I want to go home now."

Caden tensed at her sudden eagerness to leave. Of course he wanted to, but he was afraid of what might happen if her moment of control was just that, a moment.

"I'd love to, Tir. I mean that, I really do, but-" He sighed, feeling his heart sink as he tried to think of a way of phrasing his thoughts without breaking her heart or her newfound hopes. "Shouldn't you wait for your master? See if he thinks you're really ready?"

Tiraris flinched at Caden's words but remained within his arms. "I don't trust him," she whispered tensely. "I don't think he'll let me go. Maybe I've learned some things from him. I just don't know Caden. He pushes me more and more as if intentionally goading me into losing control. After I-after what happened to you he...I think it pleased him."

With tears in her eyes Tiraris clung tighter to her mate. Guilt washed over her as her hand pressed lightly to the scars she had given him. "I hate I did this to you." She quietly sniffled as she tried to hide how upset she was from him. "Caden I'm afraid of him. We can find someone else if we're really worried about my magic but not him. Please don't make me stay with him and without you any longer."

Caden's blood ran cold. This was her school, she shouldn't have felt a prisoner to it or her teacher but...she did. "It wasn't your fault," he tried to assure her, rubbing a hand gently along her back in hopes it might reassure her he'd meant it.

"If you truly don't feel safe here we will leave. I want to take care of you and we'll go anywhere we need to get the training you need. I won't make you stay, love," he murmured, tilting his head to kiss her temple. "I just want to help. Would you still like to go tonight? Before it gets too late? Maybe we can head into town and stay there instead. Home would...be too far in one trip." The demon was only thinking of his own dwelling, of course.

She shuddered in his arms as he attempted to soothe her with his gentle touch. Tiraris felt unworthy of his love and affection after the horrible things she had done to him. "I want to leave," she breathed against his skin. "I cannot stay here any longer. Please take me away. Town can be fine, we will figure out the rest from there. I just do not want to be here when he returns. Please, my love I beg you," she pleaded, clinging to him tightly while fighting back further tears.

"Then we leave," he murmured gently, brushing back her hair with a doting smile. "Don't fret, please. And don't beg. You aren't a prisoner here. Let's get your things and then we'll be gone."

Even saying that didn't make Caden release her, though. He so desperately wanted to take the time to comfort her properly, yet he knew she was not comfortable staying where they were. "Can we discuss this more...at an inn perhaps?"

The moment the words left his mouth, spoken with such surety and confidence, Tiraris knew that all would be well. Come what may, her mate would protect her and care for her through it all. She melted against him feeling suddenly boneless and exhausted despite her driving urge to flee. A few more moments would not hurt if it meant staying in his arms a little longer.

"Thank you, my love," the woman sighed in relief, pressing loving kisses to his heated skin. "Anywhere is fine as long as it is not here. That is all I ask of you. I promise to ask no more. Whisk me away from here and hold me close. I do not wish to ever be apart from you again for as long as you will have me."

Caden couldn't help but grin for her sincerity. Despite the circumstances, he was ecstatic that she was expressing her feelings so openly. "Don't be so quick to say you'll ask no more, I'm sure you'll think of something eventually," he teased.

Once he managed to pry himself away from her and out of bed he set to work gathering their few belongings and shrugging himself back into his scattered clothing while tossing her own at her feet so she might dress at her leisure. After everything they'd been through recently it was probably for the best that they were leaving this place behind.

On the road he didn't care that they traveled in darkness but he did keep his good arm wrapped loosely around her waist. He knew the way between the closest town and the mage's home quite well having made the trip a few times during her stay. He didn't stop until they reached the inn he'd stayed at through her early days in training and let a room for them.

He was fairly quiet, only muttering about how it had been a comfortable stay in the past until they'd reached the privacy of their temporary quarters. He quickly let his bag fall off his shoulder, squeezing her close against his side in a half-hug and burying his nose against her hair with a tired, but content sigh. "I hope this is best for you," he murmured, concerned but hoping his words wouldn't alarm her into a panic.