The horse's hooves thundered beneath Redly Treyburn as he made his way towards the Crossroads, where Uthlyn Road crossed the East Road. As the sun rose slowly on the horizon, he turned onto the Uthlyn Road, continuing towards the east. His only stop was at an inn to exchange horses and to speak, briefly, to a young shepherdess leading her flock towards pasture, and then, just as swiftly, he was back on the road riding east.
With his second mount beginning to tire -- not to mention, himself -- Redly was relieved to finally spot the mounted men in the distance bearing the Coleridge colors. It was a welcome sight indeed; the sun had only just settled fully in the sky, just now beginning to burn away the morning dew that continued to cling to the leaves. The rain from the previous day had muddied the ground, helping to muffle the horse's hooves until he was quite close to the group of armed men.
Turning, the Coleridges and their men would see a disheveled, tired-looking man upon an equally tired horse. His rumpled clothes were plain beneath the heavy cloak he wore, and, even among the perfumed smells of the morning, smelled of gun powder. The man was older - somewhere in his mid-40's - with dirty blonde hair and a very distinctive eye patch covering both his left eye and most of a nasty scar on that side of his face. The remaining eye was a clear green, and it looked over the men curiously.
"I'm looking for Lord Gabriel Coleridge. I have a letter for him."
Red bore the traits common to the Treyburn Clan -- but he had been disinherited over 20 years ago. Most of the nobility had forgotten he ever existed; yet, Redly held himself like a gentleman, and, in spite of his common profession, his tone was that of an educated man.
Pushing back his cloak to reveal a pair of pistols on his hip and a flask for gunpowder, he produced a plain piece of paper. It had been folded in three and, upon being opened, held the following note:
Dearest Gabe,
I can not begin to describe my elation for having been found by Lord Trevian Treyburn. He has promised to deliver me safely beneath his guardianship, and this letter, I hope finds you well. I shall be home safely to you soon. The days have not been kindly. I can not wait to be home. I wish for this whole mess to be forgotten. Life has been a nightmare.
Valia
"Lady Coleridge will be traveling north on East Road escorted by Trevian Treyburn," Redly advised as Gabriel finished reading the letter. "He estimated that you would meet around mid-day, if all goes as planned."
The small search party had been moving at a steady march since well before dawn. Eight rode with lances, four with Orchian longbows, and all had swords at their hips, the soldiers were not in plate, but easier to maneuver leather and mail bearing the colors and sigil of Orchy, as well as the Coleridge house crest. Traveling in a box formation, Cyrus and Gabriel rode with their guard on all sides, though they too were lightly armored with swords on their hips. Of course they had dark green quilted doublets over their ringmail, golden rams embroidered on their chests.
Cyrus rode awkwardly, a map partially folded and partially spread out in front of him as he rode hunched in his saddle, making small notions with his pen, taking notes and crossing off locations already searched. None of the soldiers looked at him, there was an obvious tension in the set of his shoulders and he was mumbling darkly to himself as he worked. As the appointed commander of this small unit, they deferred to him above their Lord-heir, and the pressure on him was mounting with every passing day that they didn't find his sister-in-law.
On the other hand, Gabriel who rode beside him was sitting straight in his saddle, staring ahead with unfocused eyes. It was hard to say what he was thinking, since his expression was unreadable. None that rode with him was sure if that was an improvement over the fury, anguish, or despair that had been the alternating emotions predominant in the heir of Orchy since they'd heard about Valia's disappearance.
Imagine their surprise when a lone rider came up behind them and did not simply pass them by. Cyrus turned cold green eyes on Redly, studying him with suspicion at first, then surprise when it was announced there was a letter for Gabriel. The man certainly hadn't been sent by his father, maybe someone nearby had seen or heard something of value and was reporting in to them? Ansgar if only he were that bloody lucky.
Gabriel had remained impassive at the courier's arrival until the letter was offered up. While his brother had not really noticed some things about their unusual letter-bearer, Gabriel noticed everything and took it all in as he accepted the letter and opened it, not sure what he'd find. As soon as his eyes regarded the first line his hands tightened on the piece of paper in his hands, crinkling it and dangerously close to ripping it as his heart lodged itself into his throat.
The note was agonizingly brief and vague, but it was written in Valia's hand, if a bit shakily. He read it over and over again, more or less forgetting Redly was even there as a practical tidal wave of emotions crashed through him. Overwhelming relief that his wife had been found alive and elation that she was finally going to be coming home to him. There was unspeakable rage for those that had taken her, and the burning need to extract punishment on those that had made her life a nightmare as she had written in her own trembling words. Beneath that still was a quaking fear of what state he would find his once vibrant, beautiful lady to be in.
Cyrus and the other men gave a collective gasp when the courier mentioned Lady Coleridge and Revian would be meeting them somewhere on the East Road around mid-day. After all their weeks of searching things would finally be coming to an end. For better or worse. The dark-haired man turned his eyes to his brother, watching him closely, wondering and not knowing what to expect.
Tears made emerald eyes shimmer slightly, but Gabriel remained amazingly calm as he carefully smoothed the damage he'd caused the small note before tenderly refolding it and placing it inside his coat. Everyone was watching him and he was keenly aware of this fact.
"I suggest, brother, that we don't keep my wife waiting." He managed to speak without his voice faltering much as he wiped his eyes with as much dignity as he could muster.
Rain threatened on the horizon, occasionally reminding the pair of travelers of its looming presence with a thunderclap that seemed to roll out over the landscape. Yet, miraculously, it stayed there, leaving the the travelers in an uncertain sunshine as their horse carried them over the well-traveled road. Both were dressed plainly enough, although the gentleman wore military garb and a family crest beneath his heavy cloak...as well as the glint of weapons.
"It's almost noon," Trevian announced with a glance upwards at the sun. He felt a bit stiff, and he knew it to be tension and stress causing it. He had expected, any moment, to be found by the men who had kidnapped Valia and be forced to flee again...but no attack had come, and it was beginning to grate on his nerves slightly.
"We should be meeting your husband and his men soon," he told her as their horse plodded along. They had, however, gotten a slightly delayed start...
(OOC: Tagging first
@visualspice then
@Moonie !)
Valia shivered and pressed into Trev. Not just from the cold, but the fear of the unknown. She was still terrified what her husband would say to her, even if she was more than elated to see him. All of those things she had gone through... and all of those years of fear, real fear of what could become of her if she had another child...
But she supposed that was all water under the bridge. She could not certainly change the past. Sos he could at least, now, attempt to change herself forthe future. For she knew if she did not, it would kill her, for each day was becoming more and more difficult to bear. And she was only now just waking up tot he realities of just how badly she took for granted all that she had.
"Y-yes," she spoke softly, trembling lightly as she peered around, pink eyes wide.
Gabriel's stomach was tied up in knots and his hands were clammy, despite numerous attempts to wipe them dry on his wool breeches. Anxiety had him chewing on his bottom lip, brow creased softly with worry. The young lord had loosened his collar multiple times, feeling a tightness about his chest.
Valia was alive and they were moving towards each other. Midday and he could have his wife back in his arms again. He was torn between wanting to move faster and slow down. It was insanely frustrating to feel this way. Elation should be his overriding feeling, shouldn't it? He was going to be reunited with his wife at long last.
A hollow, cold comfort. He thought bitterly. The relief he felt to know she was alive was immeasurable, but the idea of being in her presence was unsettling in a way that should never be hinted at. Valia had emotionally checked out of their relationship a long time ago, if she had ever even cared to begin with. Something horrible had happened, but that didn't mean she was going to rush into his open arms now. Why should she? Why wouldn't she? Seven years of marriage, more or less, and he still didn't understand why his wife wouldn't even pretend to love him, despite his unending efforts to win her affection.
Emerald eyes were clouded with pain and uncertainty. Just to see her again would be a cool salve to a burning wound, but to feel her rejection again while he was in such a state of emotional disarray, well, he wasn't sure how well he could take her coldness at a time like this. Unconsciously his hand had risen to his chest and rubbed lightly at the old scar he had gotten protecting Valia from the lash of a whip while they had been runaways.
Thunder cracked overhead, the sky looked like rain and his lips turned down in a scowl. Trevian Treyburn, of all the people in Connlaoth that could have found her, it had to be him. Gabriel's fist tightened on his reins as he thought back to the ball, the way Trevian had been much too close to his wife, the way the man had whispered in her ear, the way she had blushed at whatever he had said...
"How much longer? How much farther before we meet them?" The words came out as a growl as he slammed a balled fist against his leg in frustration. Whether Trevian had saved her or not, he couldn't stand the thought of that womanizing skirt-chaser alone with his wife a second longer than absolutely necessary.
"No longer, look there." Cyrus pointed ahead of them on the road and called a halt. They could just make out the two figures huddled on the lone horse and Cyrus eyed Gabriel cautiously, not sure how his brother would take to Valia being nestled in the saddle with another man right now, no matter who it was.
He didn't have to wait long for his answer. Gabriel kicked his horse in the ribs, spurring the animal to a gallop. Cyrus cursed softly and followed at a trot, but waved for the soldiers to stay behind for now.
"If you're hungry," Trevian suggested in his by-now familiar tone, "We might stop to eat, my lady." He had spent most of the trip talking about nothing at all, that same, soothing tone he had used the previous night to reassure her, while simultaneously allowing her the opportunity to converse, should she wish it. "I've brought a bit of food. Ah, speak of the man himself..."
His eyes caught movement ahead of them, then, soon followed by the sounds of an approaching horse. His smile was immediate as he halted his own horse and swung himself onto the ground. Looking up at the lady whom he had rescued, he offered her a pleasant smile. "See how he hurries to greet you? There's nothing to fear, my lady. And if you should find cause or if you desire anything at all..." With his hands on her waist, he helped her down off the horse gracefully so that she might receive her husband's greeting properly. "...You have but to ask, and I will do all that I can to see it done."
Valia had been so consumed with her thoughts she had almost not noticed the horse approach. Her heart was then in her throat,a nd when Trevian dismounted, she felt fear prickled up her spine and tingle lightly in her finger tips and toes. But then his hand was on her waist, his voice soothing, warm- and a blush touched her cheek after she was drawn down safely to the ground. But she was afraid to walk, afraid to move, remaining in the shadows of the horse as she looked down at the road, and to see the man approach made her heart do so many loops, as well as her stomach, that she feared she might faint dead away. It was then she suddenly clung to Trevian's hand tighter, her own fingers sweaty as she stiffened.
This was the moment she had dreaded, she had wanted. This was the moment that would determine the future that would heal her, or help her spiral back into despair. This was the moment she could finally take in her husband without the selfish wall of vanity to get into the way- and just be herself.
THough if there was any cue for it, she might have missed it, as she remained simply frozen as the thunder of horses came barreling their way.
Gabriel was out of the saddle even before his horse had come to a complete stop. Ansgar, this was it. There she was, just feet in front of him, his emerald eyes were practically devouring her, roaming over her form searchingly. His chest was almost too tight for him to even breath. His eyes narrowed sharply when they found Valia's hand clutching to Trevian's as if in fear. He wanted to be angry with Trevian, but instead he found his heart aching. Was she afraid of him?
Every part of him ached to just rush forward and grab her, to pull her tightly into his arms and never let her go again. Another part of him was afraid that she would push him away, or become more frightened. What the hell had they done to his beautiful, wild, pushy woman? Valia did not cower in fear away from anything!
Cyrus had caught up and sat straight in his saddle, watching the reunion with a critical eye, but also scanning around them for any unwelcome interlopers. This was a private affair, and even his men stayed back. Valia always had been explosive and unpredictable, not one of the soldiers wanted to be on the wrong end of her temper.
"Valia..." Gabriel pleaded softly, tears shimmering in his green eyes as he held his arms out to her invitingly.
At his gesture, at his tone, at those tears she felt she might nearly collapse, but the open arms was more than enough of an invitation and she wasn't sure how it happened, the moment crossing between Trevian's side and into her husband's arms was like a blur. And then there she was, clinging to him, sobbing against him and finding her tongue useless. Gods, he felt so good, so warm, so protective,a nd the same familiar smell she had grown accustomed too was almost too much. Had she not already been sobbing , it would have set her off, but instead, she was in an even deeper frenzy of sobs and tears. But somewhere in the middle of her crying, she whispered,
"I'm sorry."
Trevian was almost holding his breath as she hesitated -- but, then, her fear was forgotten, and she was safely in her husband's arms. His expression was softened by the touching scene before him, but he wore an open smile.
He did love a happy ending...
His eyes moved towards Cyrus, then settled on his horse, deliberately turning away from the pair as he petted the side of the horse's neck. It wasn't much privacy -- but he had promised he would stay, just in case she needed something. (Even though he rather doubted she would.)
(OOC: You two do your thing, and you can give me a holler if you need Trev again -- otherwise, I'm completely comfortable with you guys hand-waving Trev and moving on, because both of you, I think, have a pretty fair understanding of his character/motivation!)
As soon as Valia moved into his arms, Gabriel engulfed her in a tight embrace, burying his face in her beautiful golden hair as she clung to him. The pitiful sounds of her sobs broke his heart and his hands rubbed slowly up and down her back in a soothing gesture as he cried silently into her hair, revealing in the feel of her in his arms, despite the circumstances, or perhaps with a greater appreciation because of the circumstances.
"I was so scared I had lost you forever." The words were choked out of him, barely holding back his own sobs, but forcing himself to be strong for her now, when she needed him so desperately. His hand cupped the back of her head as he let her cry against his chest, his lips moving to kiss the top of her head lovingly, not quite able to believe she as there, finally, alive and safe. "I'm so sorry, Valia. I've failed you as a husband. I should have protected you, but I wasn't even there. You kept pushing me away but I should have tried harder. I should have stayed by your side even when you didn't want me there."
Valia's tears wet into his shoulder, her voice coming out in chokes and sobs. She couldn't even reply in the moment if shew wanted to, she simply clung to him tightly. When finally her tears had settled, her emotions calming down enough for her to speak, she whispered against his body,
"Do not blame yourself. This is my fault. All my fault, and if I wasn't so stupid, so stubborn... none of this would ever have happened."
Gabriel simply held her patiently, continuing to rub at her back gently while she worked to calm herself enough to finally speak. When she did he shook his head and pressed another soft kiss to the top of her head. "If you weren't my beautiful, wild, wonderful, stubborn goddess we would never have gotten married, we wouldn't have our gorgeous little boy waiting at home for us, and my life would be empty and cold."
He raised a hand to lovingly brush her cheek with his fingertips before gently lifting her chin enough that he could kiss her forehead before whispering softly to her. "Don't apologize for being you, because you are the woman I fell in love with, the woman I still fall in love with over and over again."
Valia choked on more sobs, clinging tightly to her husband and keeping her face buried against him.
"I want to go home," she whimpered.
And she wanted to forget about this, all of this, and just be held in his arms and told everything would be okay.
"Whatever you want, my love." Gabriel spoke softly before lifting her up and placing her in his waiting saddle. Even the brief moment she was out of his arms made him anxious, so he was quick to leap into the saddle behind her, cradling her in his arms.
"We're going to the palace, Valia. Your sister will want to see you and know you're safe now. We'll take a carriage home from there. Okay?" His wife had never much liked horses, he remembered their first wild ride away from Highheart well, and the long trip back to Orchy would be more comfortable in a carriage, for both of them. Especially given the weather, he thought as thunder rolled overhead again.
It was chilly weather, he tugged his cloak free and wrapped it around her snugly. Between the heavy cloak and being tucked against his torso, he thought she might be warm enough for now. He turned his attention to Trevian for a moment, scowling softly. "Lord Trevian Treyburn, my family owes you a steep debt. I...thank you. My father will wish to see you and your brother in Orchy as honored guests in our home so that he might also be able to thank you in person."
Trevian glanced over his shoulder, then turned to him with a slight bow. "We were just glad to be able to help, my Lord. Lady Coleridge is a brave woman. It was my honor to escort her to her rightful place."
(OOC: Short... But I'm sleepy and stuff!)
Gabe wasn't the only one who felt anxious the second she was left alone. She felt a mild spike of panic spike through her, but then the second he was on the saddle behind her, she leaned into him in hopes it would stop her shivering. Although at the idea of returning to the Grand Duke's Palace, she outwardly cringed. The last thing she wanted to do was to be paraded around after such an event, but instead of answering him, she nestled in against him, tears wetting her eyes.
With his wife nestled so close it was hard to miss the way she cringed against him at the mention of the palace. Strange, he had thought that Valia would be eager to see her sister again. He'd begged her for the longest time to come home and she had refused, staying at the palace with her sister was where he'd thought she would want to be.
"I would argue, but now isn't the time nor is this the place. It's time we were all where we belonged - at home with our families. Ansgar favor you, Lord Treyburn." Gabriel managed to give a faint nod before guiding his horse to turn back towards his waiting men. Cyrus also gave a Trevian a nod before following his brother.
As they approached the formation of soldiers Gabriel tilted his head down to speak softly to the beauty cradled against him. "Do you not want to go to the palace, Valia? We don't have to. I can send a messenger to let your sister know you're safe and on your way home. I find a carriage for you somewhere else. Just tell me what you want, my love."
Valia clung to him, for she knew not what else to do, tears still fresh in her eyes as they wavered.
"I just want to go home. I want this nightmare to be over."
"Alright." Gabriel said gently as he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head and squeezed her lightly in his arms. Right now he didn't think he could feel close enough to her no matter how snugly he held her. The soldiers on horseback closed in around them protectively as they came near, all of them giving Valia curious glances until a sharp look from two pairs of angry green eyes had them looking anywhere but at his lady.
"We're going home, boys. Look sharp, I want to make good time and I sure as hell don't want any surprises." Cyrus barked the order, to the surprise of his men, as they had expected to go to Reajh first. No one questioned it. Each and every one of the had volunteered for this, but they were all eager to be home with their own families. They turned along to road to head back towards Orchy.
Gabriel let the reins rest on his saddle, freeing up both hands to gently smooth and caress over Valia's back and hair through the thick layers between them. The gesture was meant to comfort and warm, though he wasn't sure if it was for her or him. She was frightened and miserable and it was driving him mad to see her like this. He wanted to bring her peace and security and comfort.
His face nuzzled against her beautiful golden hair as he murmured softly to her. "I love you, Valia. Please don't be afraid anymore. I've got you now and I will die before I let anyone hurt you again. The nightmare is over."
She hoped beyond hope that he was right. That this nightmare was truly over and that life could resume as it always had been. But even that seemed like a night mare, as she timidly shook her head, swallowing the knot within her throat and being too petrified to even speak. The words would have came out sounding choked anyways, and the sooner she could get home, the better.
To get as far away from this place and to be somewhere safe, and to be somewhere that was hers....
And she truly never thought she'd miss her son as much as she did. She'd hug him for forever, the second he was in her arms again.
How he wished that she would talk to him. Gabriel sighed softly, not knowing what else to say to put her mind at ease, all he could do was hold her and hope that would be enough. Seeing her this upset really unnerved him. Raging Valia, bratty Valia, demanding Valia, those he could handle, this pitiful state of terror was breaking his heart.
"Rodrick, go to Reajh, inform the Grand Duchess that her sister is safe and on her way home with us, then return to your home and family." The soldier broke away from the group and rode away hastily. Gabriel addressed his brother then. "We'll ride until dusk, then stop at the nearest Lord's estate for the night. It is too dangerous to travel at night, and I would find a carriage to transport my wife home in as much comfort as can be managed."
Valia remained quietly pressed against her husband's side. She was doing all she could to fight off the tears that threatened, but no matter how hard she tried, she was both elated and terrified. Yes, she was safely in her husband's arms... but they were so very far away from their home. At the mention to stay the night at another nobleman's, she found his arm suddenly and clung to it in a hug. It was partially so she knew he was there, as a comforting measure. It was also because she wanted to let him know she needed him, and badly. Even if she was silent, her actions were at least speaking volumes for her.
The way she clung to him was pitiful. Gabriel shifted in the saddle, arms hugging Valia tightly to his chest. He could still sense her terror, and though he wished he could take away all the negative emotions raging through her, wished he could erase all the pain that she had been through, he knew that he might never undo all the harm that was done to her.
"I know you want to go home, my love, I'll get you there as fast as I can, but I'm right here, you're not leaving my side. Not now. Not ever." He murmured softly to her, trying to be reassuring as he held her close.
At his words, she melted into him, closing her eyes and trying to fight off trembles and tears. But it was difficult, so very difficult. And all she could find herself doing and saying was whispering a course, "Thank you," from her lips as a few salty tears slid down her pink, flushed cheeks.
"You don't have to hold it in, Valia." Gabriel said softly.
The next few hours were a blur for Gabriel. He held Valia close at all times, softly murmuring assurances from time to time and occasionally rubbing her back soothingly as they rode steadily towards Orchy. The sun had begun to set, casting long shadows across the ground. They turned off the main road towards an estate, it belonged to Lord Lorcan.
One of the men had ridden ahead, so they were expected. Gabriel pulled to a stop in front of the manor, a stableman stepped up to take the reins. He slid out of the saddle, pulling Valia down into his arms and carrying her bridal style into the house. It wasn't home, but it would have to do for now. A maid showed them up to a room, an enormous four poster bed took up much of the space, with a nice fire already going in the fireplace.
Finally safely behind closed doors, with some measure of privacy, he moved to the bed and gently set Valia down. "They'll bring up our things and supper shortly. Would you like for me to order a hot bath drawn for you, my love? It might make you feel better." He offered gently.
Valia remained numb most of the ride to the estate, but internally, her heart beat was anxiously hammering away inside her chest, and her skin had grown clammy and pale. So the second they were off of the road, it offered her some relief, and while Gabriel carried her inside, she buried herself against him, to keep herself from noticing any of the prying eyes of those around them.
Once they were in their private room, and she, resting upon the bed, she remained there a moment, simply staring around and gave a light nod when he inquired about a bath. Yes... it certainly would make her feel better. It usually did.
Gabriel pressed a soft kiss to Valia's forehead before walking to the door and opening slightly to flag down a passing maid. Quietly he made his requests before carefully closing the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. He was exhausted, and he couldn't even being to imagine how his poor, abused wife must feel right now, but he wasn't worried about himself, only about her.
Returning to the bed he sat down next to Valia and pulled her into his lap, holding her fiercely, he finally let himself really cry. Indeed, he didn't merely cry, Gabriel sobbed as his head rested against her shoulder, his body trembling with the release of all the pent up tension he had been filled with for so long. Everything had been spiraling out of control since Valia had first started pushing him away from her, when she had been taken it had completely overwhelmed him, and now she was here and he wasn't even sure how he should be feeling.
"Don't ever leave me again, please. I don't know what I did to make you stay away, but I'll fix it. I'll fix it, I promise. Anything to make you stay."
It was at her husband's sobbing that she had begun to realize so much about him- and about herself. How ignorant she was before... before, well all of that. To think, how rotten and stubborn and unrealizing she was of all the good things they shared. And as he wept, she simply clung to him, her own body too numb in the moment for tears.
But towards the end a few did fall, slipping down her cheek in hot, salty trails.
"Oh, Gabe..." she began, her voice croaky and dry from their long journey here. "It was not your fault. It was never your fault. I just... I don't know how it all had begun, but I was too prideful to go back once it started. But I was so afraid, so very afraid...." And it was here, she found herself beginning to weep, tears wetting his shoulder as she clung onto him.
"Our son.. I think it started with the birth of our son. The first time I truly thought I was to die." Her lips trembled at how foolish she was, but it was terrifying,- it truly was. And she was thankful to be alive. It just seemed so much easier to push him away, to keep them from ever making love- to forbid herself ot ever be in that sort of danger before.
But then...
Here she was, having gone through something she believed to be far, far worse than that. And how she was to explain that to him?
"Oh, Gabe.. I just wish I could have told you sooner. How I was being so foolish, and why.. I just... It was so difficult. I never thought I could be so afraid, so weak.... and in the end, it was more than myself I hurt, but you... " And hten she choked on a sob, thinking to their son. "And our son." She placed a hand ove rher lips, whihc were trembling once more as tears streamd down from her eyes.
All Gabriel could manage to do was cling to his wife, to sob out all the anguish, the pain, the heartache, the fear that had consumed him. They were sobs of relief as well. She was here, he was going to take her home, and they were going to work this all out. He refused to lose her.
So she spoke and he listened, rocking them both gently as his ever elusive and unfathomable wife finally, after all these years, shared what was going on. By the time Valia's voice broke as she choked back a sob Gabriel had managed to quiet himself to a slow flow of silent tears. His mind was trying to work over what he'd been told, and he felt confused and hurt by what he'd learned. Six years they had lost in time that could have been spent making their marriage strong, and for what? Valia's pride?
He should be resentful of that. He really should. However he couldn't find it in himself to resent his beautiful bride. Gabriel held her tighter. "Valia you should have told me sooner. I love you and I'm your husband, you can tell me anything. I didn't realize how afraid you've been all this time..."
Gabriel felt his chest tighten painfully at the thought of her living in fear for years. Afraid of him. That hurt more than words could even say. "I wish you would have told me. I won't say that I understand how afraid you were when you gave birth to Tyler, only a mother could understand what you went through, but Valia..."
Oh Ansgar, he didn't know what to say! She needed him to say something, he knew that. "Tyler is the light of my life. Our son is beautiful, he's so smart, and sweet. You gave him to me Valia, I hadn't realized I could love you more than I already had, but when he was born I couldn't imagine my life without either of you. These years apart have been killing me.
"I want more beautiful children with you Valia, but if you don't want them I would never try to make you go through that again. If you had just told me we would have been careful to prevent it and I would have simply been grateful that Ansgar blessed us with such a wonderful little boy."
He pulled back enough to gaze down at his wife, and he lifted a hand to her chin to gently make sure she was looking at his eyes, which were full of love and longing. "That same wonderful little boy that is waiting at home for us to return, and who loves you unconditionally. He has missed you very much, but he will just be happy to have you home. We will just be happy to have you home."
Valia couldn't speak. She was too wracked with emotions that her entire body just shook with sobs. She held him fiercely, not wanting to let go, and just let herself cry and cry. She wanted to be home, she wanted to be free- and soon, well, after all of this madness, these feelings, this confusion and guilt would subside...
Perhaps then... life can be as it should. And she could only pray that it would.
Oh, God bless her wonderful husband. What did she ever do to deserve someone like that?
Such patience.. such virtue...
Like her reasonable and patient mother had been....
Gabriel sighed softly as he cradled his sobbing wife in his lap, all he could really do was let her cry. Hopefully her tears would help her release all the negative emotions and thoughts going through her mind right now. He wished he could do more, but he was at a loss as to what more he could do except be there, loving and supportive, while she worked through everything that troubled her heart.
He pulled her gently down with him as he leaned back, laying with her against his chest, arms wrapped protectively around her as his lips found her forehead and kissed her again. They had been reunited for hours now, though it was mostly spent on horseback, and Gabriel had kissed her many times - on the top of her head or her forehead - but so far he had avoided taking her sweet lips in a kiss. Right now he wasn't sure if she would welcome it. He didn't know what had been done to her while she'd been held captive. Although he could guess and just that thought was enough for him to hold her tighter.
By the time Valia calmed, the bath had been ready, and once the servants had all gone and left she and her husband alone again,s he grew strangely quiet. Even her tears had long since ceased as she awkwardly peered over at the bath, then down at herself.
Never before had she felt so self conscious, especially before her husband. But what would he say to seeing her body again? And to see it in such disarray? She almost wished she had decided to forego the bath, as she bit her top teeth into her lower lip nervously, nearly drawing blood.
Gabriel had stayed quiet, just laying with Valia in his arms, hardly giving the servants that prepared the bath for his wife a second glance. The maids made as little noise as possible, barely even looking at the occupants of the room as they went about their duties. Once everything was ready and the maids gone he looked at the steaming bath with a touch of longing. One of the first times they had made love Valia had rode him vigorously in a tub, how wonderful things had been back then, despite his wife's generally haughty attitude.
His saddlebags had been left in a pile by the door, he sighed softly and kissed the top of Valia's head again. Gabriel was a little surprised by her hesitation, he'd thought she'd have been eager to get into the tub after a long day sitting on a horse, especially considering all the stress she'd been under. He caught her biting her bottom lip and frowned softly as he reached a hand up and let his thumb trace over her lips admiringly.
"You've nothing to worry about, Valia." He thought he knew what was bothering her now, and he felt a little trepidation to see the condition of her body, but not because he thought anything could make him find her less breath-taking, but because he wasn't sure how badly his temper might flare to see what damage might have been done. He replaced his thumb with his lips, kissing her softly. "You're the most beautiful woman in the world to my eyes, nothing will change that, my love."
Despite being glad these advances were her husband's, it did not stop her from flinching back.
"Please.. Gabriel...." she was feeling suffocated, and more paranoid the nearer he got. She clutched onto her clothing, tears threatening in her eyes.
"I.... I just think I need some time alone."
And for him not to see the marks, the bruises, or any of it, just yet.
That flinch might as well have been a kick in the gut. Gabriel felt a thick lump in his throat that he tried to swallow down as he pulled back from his wife. He'd avoided kissing her for exactly this reason. He shouldn't have tried yet. It was just so hard to have her there and still not be able to shower her in all the love she deserved. If she didn't want him there wasn't anything he could do about it.
Gabriel had to turn his eyes away from her as he sat up, he was trying to school his face into something neutral, but the flash of hurt in those green eyes had been impossible to conceal. "Of course. You've had a rough time."
What about what he'd been through for years because of her? No, that was selfish and wrong for him to think. She'd been through hell at the hands of her kidnappers. He couldn't appreciate just how hard everything was on her right now. Maybe it was best to give her a little space while she sorted through it all.
He stood from the bed, there was a defeated slump to his shoulders as he walked over to the door and knelt down to rummage in his bags. He pulled a pink silk nightgown and matching robe from his luggage. Walking back to the bed he laid them out for her. "I brought you a dress from home too, you know, for when we found you. I thought you might want them...your hair brush, some of your perfume, a few other items..."
Gabriel still wasn't looking at her, he kept his eyes down as he pointed back to the bag. "Just, whatever is there in the bag is for you. Enjoy your bath, darling." He shuffled out of the room without another word, and without looking at her again.
The look from her husband was not lost on her, and it only helped cement the knot in her belly and throat. With a nod, and a half-muttered, "Thank you," she waited until he was long gone before letting a few hot tears slip down her cheeks as she began to undress. And it was a difficult thing to do. Without a maid or husband to help her loosen the lace, it took her a frustratingly long time, but eventually she worked herself free and carelessly let the dress drop onto the floor. And she was at wits end by that time,a nd covering herself, despite being alone, she slipped into the bath and it was at that moment, where she was mostly submerged in waters that she began to weep.
Gabriel stood there just outside the door for several minutes, just feeling lost, confused, and hurt. Finally he slumped against the wall and slid down to the floor, not really having the energy for much else. All the emotional stress was catching up to him, sapping the strength from his limbs as he huddled there by her door. Being this far from her right now was difficult, but he wanted to follow her wishes. All he'd wanted was a kiss.
People passed him in the hall as they went about their business, but he looked at none of them, and none of them seemed to pay him any mind. Probably a good thing, he wasn't in the mood to deal with people prying into things that weren't their business. He thought he could hear Valia crying through the door, which only set him further on edge as he sulked. He should be in there to wipe away her tears, but she didn't want him, though he didn't understand what he had done wrong now.
A deep sense of resignation was coiled in his stomach. There marriage was so different, they had been so passionate there at the beginning. Gabriel had expected their relationship would change as time passed, as children were born, but this was so very different than anything he had ever imagined. Gabriel eventually dozed off in his uncomfortable position guarding Valia's door.
Valia spent an enormous amount of time bathing. She herself could have fallen asleep, but was lulled back into the world of despair as the remains of her tears clung to her eyes and she eventually stepped out of the bath. It took some effort, but she eventually dried herself and wrapped her hair in a towel, or as much of it as she could, and moved about to slip into the pink dress her husband had brought.
But the pain from her wounds sustained from her kidnapping... coupled with the fact this dress was far more complex than the one she had been borrowing..s he could hardly tie herself in. After a time, she finally relented into seeking the help from her husband, and was surprised whens he pened the door and found him laying there, asleep, beside the door.
Gabriel had no idea how long he had been slumped there in a fitful doze, but the door creaking slightly as it opened roused him enough to drag his green eyes open. Peering up to see Valia standing over him, causing his breath to catch in his throat, which made him swallow thickly. Even with her hair wrapped up in a towel and her dress not properly laced she was breath-taking, maybe it was because of her slightly disheveled appearance. Though he wondered why she'd gone after her dress instead of her nightgown and robe.
He groaned softly as he shifted stiffly, his body ached. Too many days in the saddle and an uncomfortable position there on the floor was to blame for that, no doubt. Sitting up fully he rubbed at his eyes a moment before dragging himself to his feet. With a sigh he ushered her back into their room and shut the door. Valia was safe with him now, but he still didn't want her out in the open, or anyone else around her, or staring at her. Right now he felt too protective, was still wound too tight.
"I imagine you want help lacing up." Dutifully he moved around the back of her, fingers gently going to work tightening her dress for her. With an effort he even managed not to touch her in any other way, merely lacing the dress as if he wasn't dying to hold her.
Valia nodded and moved in with him back inside the room and turned away from him, sweeping her hair off and over her shoulder so it was not in the way. It was a silly thing for her to want to get back into her dress, but she felt too vulnerable to want to slip into a night gown. And her dress...
She hoped she'd feel more like herself in it. But even as her husband moved to lace her up tight, she felt more hot tears resurface, blurring her eyes.
"I always loved this dress." When he'd packed to come after Valia, he'd taken great care to bring anything he could think of to make her return home more comfortable, including the beautiful pink dress she was in now.
There was a knock at the door as Gabriel was finishing with the last laces, they didn't wait for an answer, a maid entered carrying a covered tray. Once their meal was placed on a stand, the servant left without a word.
Stepping away he moved to the tray and removed the cover to reveal roasted pork, baked potatoes, and rolls. "Come try to eat a little something, Valia."
When Gabriel left her side, she felt herself tense and though he was only gone from her for but a moment and hadn't even left the room, the fear was still too intense and too fresh that when he returned, her hands found his as she clung to him and slowly shook her head.
"I.. I don't know if I could eat," she told him softly, tears threatening to fall.
The way she grabbed to his hands broke his heart as Gabriel could practically feel her terror, like a horrible infection spreading and choking the room. His emotions were everywhere, hurt because of her pain, enraged because of her pain, the desire to comfort her battling with his burning need to go out and find who had hurt her and make them scream for mercy only to deny them it.
He squeezed her hands softly, looking down into her tearful pink eyes, his own emeralds were stormy and troubled. "It's okay, you'll eat when you're ready. Valia..." He almost choked on his own words as he gazed down at her beautiful, haunted face. "Please tell me what to do...I need to do something...I want to hold you and never let you go. I want to storm out of here and bring the hammer of Ansgar's justice down on the vile filth that dared to touch you..."
Gabriel wasn't the only one at wits end, and when he implored her, she did the only thing she could think of as she clung to him unwittingly.
"Oh, Gabriel!" she cried, burying herself against him as she clung to him tightly. "I want nothing more than all of those things. For those vile and despicable men to suffer, and for you, you to hold me and never let me go."
Instantly his arms were around her as Valia clung to him, holding her close against his chest as he kissed the top of her head as he buried his face in her golden hair. "I will make them pay, Valia. I swear to you, they will beg for death before the end, and I will deny them that merciful release, death is a peace they don't deserve."
Lifting her easily into his arms, Gabriel carried her to the bed and laid down, still cradling her in his arms, letting her rest on top of him. "All this time without you has been hell on me, but not anymore. You're the light that chases out all the shadows, that purges all my demons, and I'm not letting you go again. I don't care how mad you are at me, we'll stay together and work it out. No more running, promise me."
Although numbed from the Hell she had been through, nothing could pull her eyes away from those of the fire within her husband's. The long lost look of hope and love sparked within their depths, and the lady only found herself able to utter the whispered, hoarse words of,
"I promise."
Gabriel desperately hoped she meant it when she uttered those two little words. He couldn't take losing her again. Still, she had promised and for now that was enough. Relaxing further he held her gently against him as he closed his eyes with a weary sigh. That small nap in the hall hadn't really eased him much.
Hands moved gently and slowly up and down Valia's back, almost as much for his comfort and reassurance as for hers. His voice was soft and exhausted. "I'm so tired, Valia. So tired...I haven't been myself since you left."
Valia whimpered softly and nestled in against him.
"Then let us rest together," she whispered tiredly. For she still felt so weak and wanted to simply hide away from all the world.
Gabriel didn't say another word, merely held her gently as his eyes closed, one hand lightly stroking down her back in a soothing gesture. In just a few minutes the gentle caress would stop as he breathed deeply and evenly, sleeping peacefully for the first time in a long time. The lines of strain in his face even relaxed a little.
It took Valia even longer to succumb to the world of slumber, but soon her eyes were growing heavy and she too, had drifted off to sleep. It was a peaceful brief, however temporary, for hours later, when she awoke and it was dark, and felt herself confined in the arms of her husband, she let out a sudden cry of alarm and began to writhe furiously.
"Let go of me! No! Stop it I!-" And then in the midst of her struggling, she managed to recognize her husband's face as her pink eyes widened. "G-.. gabriel!?"
And slowly she blinked and found herself in tears as she clung to him, sobbing so hard her entire body shook.
The moment Valia began to struggle Gabriel was awake, green eyes snapping open in momentary alarm, until he realized what was wrong. He lifted a hand to cup her face gently, looking down into her eyes as she cried out in fear. He didn't speak, letting her come to realization that she was safe and it was his arms around her now.
"Shh, my love, they can't hurt you now." He murmured softly as she clung to him, her sobs tore at his heart, but all he could do was be patient and allow her to work out all the poisonous emotions that had tormented her during her captivity. Tenderly he placed a kiss on the top of her head, holding her gently so that she could escape now that she was calm, if she wanted. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
"Gods, it was a dream, just a dream," she choked out between sobs. "Gods.." she trembled, clinging to him tight. "If only all of it had been a dream," she whispered, tears still streaming down her face.
Gabriel felt tears burn his eyes as he nuzzled his face in her beautiful hair. His voice was heavy with sleep and raw from emotion as he spoke softly to her, trying to calm her again. "I wish I could take it all away, Valia. I would have gladly suffered in your place. I...can't undo what they did, Ansgar do I wish I could, but we're going to be okay. I promise. Somehow I will ease all those horrible things."
Tears continued to fall as she clung to her husband. Her head was pressed so closely to him she could feel his warmth, and hear his heart. She could say nothing to that as she remained in his embrace, but after a long while she simply whispered, "By Angsar's name, Gabriel. I'd be lost without you." And she hugged him back, tight.
Gabriel held Valia, rocking them both gently as she cried in his arms. Life had been hell for both of them, but they were together now, and that was what was important to him. Just having her in his arms again, having her needing and wanting him again, soothed his mind and soul greatly.
"I'll always be there for you Valia. As long as I live, you can never really be lost, because I will always find you." He murmured softly while brushing his lips against the top of her head.
Tears still streamed down her face as she whimpered and curled up against her husband, as close as she could get. She never felt as vulnerable as she had now. She thought giving birth was the worst thing in her life, and before that- it was being pregnant, but now this? This was something she felt so torn about because she felt so abused...
but in the heat of the moment, she felt guilty for having ever enjoyed any of it.
And just thinking about it maybe her choke on a sob as she buried her face against him.
"Gods... Gabriel.." she spoke hotly against him, her body shaking from tears. "I'm so sorry. If only I hadn't have been so foolish..."
but she couldn't finish that thought as a few more hot tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Valia, whatever foolish thing you've done, or think you've done, it's over. I forgive you, for all of it. For the years you pushed me away, for leaving the palace alone, for whatever else you think you did wrong. It doesn't matter now. All that matters to me right now is that you're alive and with me now." Gabriel didn't know everything that happened, and he honestly didn't need to know. Valia had suffered, that was more than enough for him to want to destroy her kidnappers in the worst possible ways.
Valia just held him, and held him tight. By Angsar's name- how did she get such a wonderfully perfect husband? Tears still continued to fall as she sobbed and trembled against him, before she closed her eyes and whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too." Gabriel murmured, holding her as fiercely as she clung to him. He still couldn't fully believe that after all this time she was there in his arms now. He was afraid that it was some twisted dream that he would awaken from to find that she was still gone.