This hurts me more than it hurts you. [M] [Aeyt!]

[Rhindeer]

Briar bit her lip, a chill going down her spine. No, she really didn't want to leave. It was true she hadn't known Dirk long, and their beginning had been rough and fraught, but she...wasn't quite ready for that to end yet, either. She had to stick around. Had to explore his body a little more. Had to make sure Polly was okay. Had to give him a hard time. That was all, right? Right.

She wasn't yet ready to move on.

But she was scared to stay.

Scared to go.

Fuck this.

She shivered, dropping her eyes to the table. "And if I stay it'll...all just be okay? That what you're saying?"

[Aeytrious]

        "I'm saying that your best chance at not only living, but being happy, is to stay." Rit looked over at Dirk with great fondness in his eyes. "It's easy to say that you'll die for someone, though Dirk would gladly die for you. He would do something even greater, and harder still." Rit looked at Briar with a sad sympathy. "I know it's hard for you to imagine what love is really like, but that boy will love you, and he will live for you. Your life won't be easy. Nothing worth the trouble is ever easy. You'll be happier than you can possibly fathom though. Anything else you want to ask?"

[Rhindeer]

Briar stared at Rit like he had sprouted three heads. She stared long and hard, blinking slowly as his words stirred something strange and foreign in her belly, like she was standing at the edge of a cliff and gazing down at a bottom she couldn't see. It was a scary feeling, but also a head rush, and for a second she couldn't breathe, couldn't figure out what to do with the sensation.

She burst out laughing, the only way she knew to break the tension she felt, though her laughter came out a higher octave than normal. Slightly panicky.

"No fucking way," she said when she could speak again, gasping for air. "That's fucking crazy. You're crazy. We just—how would you know that? We just barely met! There's no goddamn way." And then, sobering, she added, "Fuck. He'd be crazy to feel that. I'm not a good person."

She looked away from Rit, studying her hands. She didn't want to dwell on the subject. She nodded at the charm on the table. "Tell me more about that. The raven guy. How's he supposed to help?"

[Aeytrious]

        I know you can't comprehend it right now Briar," Rit said with somewhat of a grin, "but he will come to love you." He released her hands from their spots on the table, though she was still affixed to her seat, and created a glass of peach schnapps in front of her. "Something to calm your nerves," he said, motioning to the glass.
        "The White Raven is a powerful precognitive. In terms you'd understand, they're a Seer," Rit explained. "The bauble I'm giving you will grant you privilege among the Wayuhina tribe. They will help you with information about possible futures. They may also be able to direct you toward others with your rare ability," Rit continued. "You're not unique in your possession of psychometry, your ability to read the memories of things you touch. There are others like you in the tribes. Dirk will be a great teacher to help you learn to fight and have your own innate skill with weapons and combat, but he can only help you practice your ability so much. You need a proper teacher. What else would you like to know? You can literally ask me anything. There are lots of things I can't tell you or will have to answer you vaguely, but that doesn't mean you can't ask."

[Rhindeer]

He will come to love you.

Briar didn't know what was in the glass, but the moment her hands were free, she chugged half of it down in a few long gulps. Another time and she would have appreciated its sweetness, something she wasn't used to in the alcohol she typically consumed, but right then she was a bit too distracted to even taste. This had to be a joke. Love her? What the fuck?

People didn't love people like her. Not even her own parents had. He would have to be crazy, and she sure as fuck didn't deserve it.

"Yeah fuckin' right," she snorted with a roll of her eyes that she hoped would hide her panic. "Guy's naive as hell but he's not stupid. Sweet little paladin smitten by a fucked up bitch like me? Pfffft. We're just having fun right now. That's all."

Right?

It was a bit difficult to focus on the rest of what he was saying, even though it sounded drastically more important, with her pulse hammering within her ears. Right, psychometry--was that what her curse was called? Tribes. Teacher. Someone could teach her how the hell to control this? She downed the rest of her glass in a few more swigs. She could use like...quadruple the amount of this shit. Getting utterly wasted sounded kind of wonderful. You know, a nice, healthy way to deal with and process all the craziness she felt right now.

When he invited her to ask more questions, she pointed at the empty glass. "First of all, got more of that?" she asked. "Second, uh...shitballs. I don't know." She scrubbed a hand through her hair, leaning her arm on the table with her hand coming to rest along her temple, massaging it. She probably had a lot of questions, but they all flew right out of her head the moment she was put on the spot. And she still felt like she was losing her mind, like maybe this was some crazy mental breakdown? She was probably overdue for one of those.

She threw her hands up. "Fine, what the fuck. Why's the sky blue? Where's Alba's parents? What happens after ya die? Are my parents still alive? Will I ever get to ride a dragon?"

[Aeytrious]

        With no more than a thought Briar's glass was refilled and a bottle of peach schnapps appeared on the table in front of her. "The sky is blue because two gasses that make up the air, oxygen and nitrogen, act like a lamp shade surrounding the earth. When the sun shines through the lamp shade, all the light is filtered out except for the blue light, which is what we get to see and the reason the sky looks blue." Rit figured Briar probably wouldn't understand any more of a complex explanation with light refraction involved and so he tried to keep it simple. "Alba's parents were killed by the bandits that had her, but her very kindly grandmother can be found in Ketra, her name is Sel'nerra. After you die you go wherever your creator decides. Your parents are indeed alive. And yes, you will be riding a dragon. Not too far into the future either."
        Rit stood back up and walked closer to Briar, a chair appeared near her and he sat. At this point she seemed much more amenable so he freed her from any restrictions and she was able to move freely. He looked at her seriously before he continued.
        "I know it's hard to believe but you're not a bad person," Rit knew she'd scoff but he needed to at least plant the seed. "You were dealt some shit cards. The Goddess that created you wanted you to struggle. For one thing struggles are more interesting than a simple happy life where nothing goes wrong. For another struggles make stronger characters. You are strong and you're interesting. You're damaged, yes, and you have a sensitive vulnerable core that you cover with briars to protect, but you are so much more. You have the chance here to grow. To become even stronger. To find happiness and adventure. He will come to love you and you will also learn to love yourself. It's gonna take a while but you're gonna get there." He stood and walked away from Briar, the chair disappearing as if it had never been there. He returned to his other seat and sat back down.
        "If you can manage to hold that self loathing in check for a bit I'm willing to answer one more question for you. You have a practically all knowing being here. Make it a good one."

[Rhindeer]

Briar really liked the part where Rit answered all her nonsense, and not-so-nonsense, questions. That part was useful! Like the shit about Alba--good to know, now they had a lead and could figure out what to do with her. The sky stuff she didn't quite understand, and the bit about her parents was both relieving and disappointing, and the dragon thing? She really wanted to circle back to the dragon thing because was he fucking serious? She'd get to ride a dragon? Whaaaat? When? How?!

The dragon thing almost made the parent thing sting less.

That was all great, though! She could spit out questions all day! Sure, not everything he said made sense, but as long as they were playing questions and answers, they weren't talking about other things. Uncomfortable things. Like the previous topics about, uh, love and shit or whatever.

Which was why her heart sank when Rit moved closer to her and even brought out a fucking chair, because that the sort of thing people did when things were about to get real.

And he read her like a goddamned book.

Briar chugged her second glass of the booze as he spoke, and did everything in her power to look anywhere but at him. This was even less enjoyable and uncomfortable than the Dirk conversation, and she clutched the glass between her hands tight enough she was surprised she didn't crack it. She snorted at his assessment, shaking her head. "Sensitive? Yeah fucking right, I'm not sensitive," she mumbled under her breath, shoulders hunching as she tried not to physically squirm. And of fucking course he had to circle right the hell back around to love and shit, just to make it even more awkward because why not?

Her cheeks were red by the time Rit packed up his chair and moved away again, though the color was hidden as she had slowly sank her face into one hand during his heart to heart. When he invited her to ask one last question, she cracked her fingers open enough to peer through them at Rit, and shook her head. Make it a good one, he said. No pressure.

With a deep breath, she sat up straight and let her hand fall away. "Uh, alright then. Huh. Um. Shit. I don't even fucking know."

No, that was a flat out lie.

She rubbed the back of her neck, shrugging uncomfortably, and looked away. "Alright. So. My peoples' faith. Is there any truth at all to any of it?"

[Aeytrious]

        "Most of it is complete and utter bullshit," Rit replied. This hadn't been a question Briar was very likely to ask, but it was a definite possibility. "They're right that you'll grow more powerful, but that takes practice and training, not purity. The gift you have is rare but not unique, and definitely not a sign of divinity. The biggest problem with their religion is that most everyone actually believes it. The founder was a charlatan that manipulated and used people creating a cult to follow and worship him. He was just a man. Not divine at all. I'm sorry. I know that's not what you wanted to hear. At least you know that your people actually believe and that their behavior wasn't just sadism." He let the words hang in the air for a moment before continuing on. "Take a moment, and when you're ready, I'll restart time."

[Rhindeer]

A long stretch of silence followed Rit’s words. Then, finally, Briar laughed, short and bitter.

“I figured as much,” she said with a shake of her head, smiling a smile that didn’t touch her eyes. “Not like I ever believed that garbage. Fuck ‘em.”

But she had believed. At least a little, at least for a time, and then even when she hadn’t believed because she knew in her heart she was just a girl and not divine—even then, she had held onto the belief that, at the very least, she was special. At least special enough that it made sense to endure what she did.

Now she had come to find out that it was everything she had guessed and worse. She wasn’t special at all. Her ability wasn’t even unique.

Deep down, she had always held onto the notion that it all, at least, meant something. That it wasn’t all for nothing. But Rit had just confirmed that it was absolutely meaningless and always had been. Her people believed, but it was all one hundred percent bullshit, down to the last detail.

Drawing a deep breath, she steeled herself again, locked it all down, and looked back to Rit. “Go ahead. Do your time shenanigans.”

[Aeytrious]

        Rit assumed the exact position he had been in when he froze time, and restarted it with no more than a thought. He slipped right into the motions he'd been in the middle of before, without showing any sign that anything had happened at all. Briar however was not in the same position and also had a new glass and bottle of booze in front of her. Dirk had grown quite accustomed to Rit's time stopping so the changes didn't go unnoticed. He leaned toward Briar and put his hand on hers.
        "Is everything okay?"

[Rhindeer]

It was a strange sensation, watching everything start again. Strange and almost deafening, the abrupt return of birdsong and rustling leaves like a clap in her ears after the stillness and silence, and she was still gaining her bearings when she felt a hand on hers.

Briar jumped, but sucked in a breath when she saw it was just Dirk. Of course. Who else would it be? He hadn't moved.

She let her breath out slowly and forced herself to relax, mustering up a weak smile. "Yeah. It's fine. Why wouldn't it be?"

[Aeytrious]

        "Your position changed, the expression on your face, your mood. How long did he freeze time for?" Dirk set down the fork that was still in his other hand and fully turned toward Briar. "From what little I remember of my quite distant past, I know that what Rit does is not normal. I'm sure it was likely shocking for you. I empathize. I probably wouldn't understand but if you desire a companion to listen to your thoughts and feelings, I'm always available to you."

[Rhindeer]

Briar thought she had gotten herself under control. She wasn't okay, not by any definition of the word, but she thought she was passable enough not to show it. Goddamn Dirk was too goddamn perceptive, though, and his questions and genuine concern were not helping. She still wasn't used to his earnestness and care and pure unadulterated empathy, even about things he couldn't necessarily relate to. It wasn't something she was used to, and so she didn't know how she was supposed to even react to it.

She didn't like how vulnerable it made her feel while everything was still so fresh and raw.

She didn't like that, strangely, it made her eyes burn in a weird way and throat tighten painfully.

Her shoulders hunched and she shook her head fiercely. "I said it's fine," she said, forcing the words past the lump in her throat. She was afraid to say more, afraid her fear might tumble out with the words, or that she might choke up, or both. And if any of those things happened, it would be so goddamned embarrassing. Not here with an audience. Screw that.

"It was just fucking weird, is all. Felt like fucking forever." Her eyes flicked to the raven talisman on the table, and she curled a hand over it quickly, though likely not fast enough for Dirk to have missed it. "It's nothing. My head just bloody hurts."

Axieva stared at the three of them, a big glob of blood plopping onto the table as she chewed slowly, her attention more on Rit, Dirk, and Briar than on eating at this point. She had also noticed the very obvious change in Briar's position and mood, and she was also quite familiar with the odd things Rit could do. There was an undercurrent of drama coursing through their meal now, and they now had her undivided attention.

[Aeytrious]

        Dirk was unsure of how to proceed. He had gathered from watching the interactions of others that he should be emotionally available. He had learned through his brief experience with Briar, that she was stubborn and bull headed, and if he pressed her she was likely to just get angry. So he figured it was probably best if he just let it go.
        "Well if you change your mind," Dirk let the sentence hang, unfinished, the implication obvious. He didn't know what to do or say now though. He took a bite of his mash covered in that bright colored egg yolk, and Rit chimed in to fill the empty space.
        "So tell us about your trip from Essyrn to Hyoite. I'm sure Axieva would love to hear about the desert, and what you thought of her homeland."

[Rhindeer]

Hmm. Axieva finished her chunk of meat and then lowered her head to the table so she could lap up the puddle of blood left behind. She had never really been taught table manners--never had a need for them, and would probably scoff if anyone tried. Why shouldn't she lick up the remainders of her meal? What was the alternative, let it go to waste?

Briar, meanwhile, had stooped her brooding just long enough to watch the peryton start noisily licking at the table, her eyebrows rising. Ooookay then...that was...something else, alright.

"Later," Briar said to Dirk, voice curt. She pushed her food around on its plate, just to give herself something else to focus on that wasn't the peryton tonguing up blood, or the worst news she had received in years. Her other hand rested in her lap, thumb worrying over the talisman.

Fortunately, Rit spoke up to change the mood a little. Maybe not for Briar, but Axieva perked right up, ears raised curiously as she licked blood off her teeth. "You went to Hyoite?" she asked Dirk in her native tongue, head cocked. "When? Did you see...any of me? My kind?"

[Aeytrious]

        Dirk couldn't help but smile at Axieva's excitement. He finished a bite of the chicken pot pie Rit had conjured for Briar. It was really good. Peppery and savory with crunchy vegetable bits and tender meat, and the gravy was so delicious. Still licking his lips he responded, "I didn't see any peryton while I was there. With how fierce they are, I'm not sure that would have been good for me." He took a swig of his soda before continuing. I met some human tribes, but I didn't stay long. The woman I was guiding had very specific requests so we found her a local guide and I returned shortly after." He took a bite of something that looked like thick worms or tentacles in a dark bloody looking sauce, that was in a bowl next to his eggs and 'potatoes' that he'd called space breakfast.
        "Essyrn was very interesting though. All those hills of sand in most areas, but the hoodoos were amazing and beautiful. They reminded me of that place you took me called the Grand Canyon."

[Rhindeer]

Briar had no idea how Dirk could eat that shit. Just the sight of those wormy, bloody tentacles made her want to gag--for she had never seen a noodle before and had no idea what he was eating. Considering the lineup of...weird and colorful ingredients, and considering Axieva eating literal raw meat and blood, it could really be anything as far as she was concerned.

Axieva fluffed her wings a little, grinning and flashing her sharp teeth, before continuing still her her native tongue. "No, it wouldn't be good for you. They'd probably try to eat you, stringy as you'd be." As though to demonstrate, she poked his bicep. "Too much muscle, not much fat. If you ever do meet one, though, tell them my name. Tell them that you're mine."

Briar arched her brows.

"They will let you be, then."