The Journal of Olivia Wayrest

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

The information contained in these pages has been deemed subversive and dangerous by the Order of the Moon. These excerpts remain readable to those with proper clearence from the Order, albiet in censored form. The original copy of the journal they were taken from has since been destroyed.

~Entry 28~

Our mission to Tirial ended in disaster. The entire village had been infected with the curse by the time we arrived, and we were left with no choice but to put them down. One of the afflicted women I euthanized had her child with her and I can't get his screaming out of my head. [Redacted] told me Fyarion would take pity on their souls. It didn't make me feel any better about what I'd done.

I'm not sure if I can do this anymore. I haven't been able to sleep without seeing their faces. I've spoken with Castor about it, and he agrees that we've crossed a line. We're both going to leave the order once we get back to Rillaria. There has to be a better way than this.

~Entry 30~

If Fell's Curse only affects those who use magic, why do we continue using it? There is no cure for the curse. All it would take is one afflicted escaping our notice to doom us as a society.

Wouldn't it be more productive if we moved on from magic and replaced it with something else? Something that won't risk wiping us out? I'm not sure what it'd be, but anything would be better than this. Castor thinks I have a point, but that I should keep my ideas to myself until I have something to show for them.

We've ultimately decided not to leave the Order, at least not yet. The Shaith Temple Archives have records of unorthodox magic encountered by the Order, and I'd be foolish to give that up. It may come in handy.

~Entry 36~

I keep thinking about that little boy. No child should have to live in a world where their mother can be taken from them like that. Yet no matter who I ask, everybody gives me the same answer. "Greater good" is phrase I've come to despise lately.

Made the mistake of telling [redacted] some my ideas. She told me I was delusional. That I needed to find myself, or I'd end up travelling a dark road. Bullshit. I can't believe I trusted her. How can somebody so smart be so close minded?

There's nothing "dark" about any of my ideas. No, what I want is perfectly normal. In our nature as humans, even. When our ancestors got tired of carrying stone slabs everywhere, they invented paper. When they learned that iron could hurt us, they invented bronze. And in the face of an unstoppable curse threatening to destroy us, we will transcend magic itself.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

~Entry 50~

Castor found something of note while searching the archives: a dossier containing research acquired from a rebel group in Connlaoth. Said group was attempting to engineer a mage who could cast in the presence of Adhara. The initial tests were promising, but their research subject was driven insane before the results could be properly analyzed.

If an Adhara's power is to shut off magic within a certain range, then can a power that bypasses this accurately be called "magic"? Some of the notes they took are advanced to the point where they're nearly incomprehensible. It will take time to decipher them all.

~Entry 54~

After spending weeks pouring over the dossier, I think we've finally pieced together what the Connlaothian group actually did. If we're reading this correctly, the researchers apparently believed in some sort of "mirror world". An alternate dimension of sorts, adjacent to our own. Supposedly it's a world of darkness, devoid of light or color. Our shadows are all we can see of the mirror world, and in the mirror world we are the shadows. I'm having trouble visualizing what they're describing, and trying to makes my head hurt.

With this in mind, it's now apparent that what the Connlaothians did involved splicing a man with his mirror world counterpart. Their hope was that he'd be able to traverse both realities freely, and manipulate things in our world by moving them in the other. From what I understand the experiment did work, but fusing the man with his own shadow broke something inside his head. If we were to attempt to replicate this, we'd need to overcome that roadblock first and foremost.

The Connlaothians had their own word for the mirror world: Eigengrou. That's part of why the dossier was so hard to figure out, we couldn't figure out what they were talking about when they used the term. Castor has taken to using the word himself, and I will admit it has a nice ring to it.

~Entry 60~

Upon rereading, the wording the researchers used to describe the test subject's decent into madness was peculiar. It would seem to suggest that merging two sufficiently alien consciouses together caused the memories of both to get tangled somehow. If that's indeed the case, then would a subject with less memories provide better results? An amnesiac, or an infant perhaps?

[Redacted] commented on the amount of time Castor and I have been spending in the temple archives. He didn't seem particularly suspicious, but I could tell he'd likely be watching us from here on out. Castor is leaving on a mission to Featherfall tomorrow, so I'll keep my head down while he's away.

~Entry 73~

The more I think about it, the more I think that we could get that experiment to work. If we used an infant in place of an adult, that should work to counter any memory displacement. Additionally, a child growing up with an unusual condition would learn to cope with it more easily than an adult would. It's the most logical solution.

It took time to convince Castor that it was a good idea, but we finally came to an agreement. In order to avoid undue suspicion, we will make the test subject ourselves. Kidnapping would be too risky, and the ethics of such a act would be dubious. We shouldn't have to worry about any nearby parents loosing sleep over never seeing their child again, should our experiment not work as intended. If this child is only brought into existance for the explicit purpose of testing my theory, then we can avoid any unneccisary pain. I only want what's best.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

~Entry 90~

I've started to gain weight. I think it finally might be happening! If I begin show any more signs, I'll tender my resignation with the Order. Castor made a copy of the dossier using a dupliquill, so I'll be able to study it more thoroughly in my downtime.

One thing we'll need to settle on is a name. I'd like our subject's name to be meaningful, but Castor insists we name the child after one of his grandparents. Needless to say, a compromise will need to be reached.

~Entry 177~

Sebastian has arrived! Childbirth was harder than I anticipated, but it worked out in the end. Castor is more proud than I've ever seen him. I'm proud too, but I can't let it show now. This was only the first step.

We'll give Sebastian a few days to settle in, and then we'll conduct the experiment. It's nothing short of a miracle that were able to gather all the spell components without raising any suspicion, but we should have the circle fully prepared by the end of the week.

~Entry 184~

Sebastian did not survive the splice. His body wasn't strong enough to handle the shock of the two souls merging, and we lost him. I'm having a hard time processing this. Castor tries to stay strong, but I can tell he's devestated too. We were so close.

For a split second, right before we lost him, I was able to see it. Eigengrou is real, and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. No matter what we've lost, we can not lose faith in our project. We'll make another subject, let it incubate longer this time. The future of humanity is depending on us.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

~Entry 271~

Subject 2 has been born. The child is healthy, and arrived without complications. This time, we will give the subject six months to grow before attempting the splice. We aren't letting ourselves get attached this time. If we do not stay vigilant, our emotions will detroy us.

~Entry 325~

Subject 2 has survived the soul merge. We are tenatively labeling this attempt a success, but the child remains in a weakened state. We are trying our damndest to keep her alive, but she's struggling. Castor has taken to calling her Cecilia, though I don't think we should be naming her until her health stablizes. This still has a chance of going south.

I got a much better look at Eigengrou this time. It's a world devoid of color and light, but at the same time it's vibrant and alive. I could see everything so vividly, like shadows on a pitch black canvas. This place is the answer to everything, I just know it.

~Entry 349~

Cecilia's heath has finally improved, and she shows no signs of the insanity the original subject experienced. She still recognizes us as her parents, and will cry out to us when she wants attention. The girl is also beginning to display signs of having powers: She keeps pulling her star mobile off the ceiling using it's shadow. Castor insists that she's grabbed him by his shadow as well, but I haven't experienced this yet.

When I look into Cecilia's eyes, I can see Eigengrou again. They're like windows into the other world. Into her world. I could get lost in them forever if I wanted to. Castor seems to find her eyes more unnerving than anything, though I'm sure he'll work past it. How somebody could find Eigengrou anything other than beautiful is lost on me.

~Entry 351~

We have conducted a few additional tests, and have discovered that Cecilia's powers are not picked up by any of the conventional ways of detecting magic. Runes meant to set off an alarm when spells are cast remain silent in her presence. Casting "Detect Arcana" or any of it's varients show no traces of residual magic on her. She is, for all intents and purposes, completely mundane.

It's almost hard to believe, but we actually did it. Cecilia has transcended magic in it's entirety. Our daughter will never have to fear Fell's Curse may someday cast it's shadow upon her. She will never have to worry that she'll one day be stolen from us. And when the world sees what we've done, they will follow us into a new golden age. We will all be children of Eigengrou.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was the last entry written before Olivia's arrest. Acting on a tip from a neighbor, the Order raided the Wayrest household and took the family into custody. Olivia and her husband Castor were charged with use of dark magic, crimes against Fyarion, and child abuse. Both have been locked away in Serendipity's highest security prison.

After much deliberation, it was decided that the infant Cecilia would be given a new name and hidden away from her extended family. The Wayrests have been told that the child was put down as an act of mercy. Until the true nature of her condition can be assessed, Cecilia will be given a second chance at life.