Deep in the Kishahn Jungle -this time-, not far from one of the five World Trees the druids here -this here- called the Great Oaks, in a -sometimes- rarely found clearing, away from prying eyes -mostly-, a battle was fought -maybe- that decided -or perhaps not- the fate of the universe. Such is the way with time. Things don't always happen the same everywhen. In that version of that now in that version of that place, things would happen that way -kinda- if they happened at all.
A lone figure stood waiting, impatiently, for someone or something that was apparently later than expected. Between his light absorbing silvery-gray cloak and his light bending black armor, it's hard to keep your eyes on him, if you were present to lay your eyes on him in the first place that is. He fidgets a bit, tapping his toe, and glances up to check the light of the sun. The ground suddenly begins to shake. The quake, rather intense, even toppled nearby trees, and a large boulder cracked letting forth a stream of water. The man seemed completely unfazed, as if he didn't feel the tremors. Ominously dark clouds rapidly filled the sky, lightning flashed, thunder clapped, and a heavy deluge began to fall. Again the man seemed unfazed. The heavy downpour seemed as if it was bending around him. But that couldn't be so, could it? Perhaps it was a trick of the light?
Between the rolling ground and the downpour, nobody for miles would be having a pleasant time, but the man stood, now motionless, through it all. It continued steadily for an hour, the new stream, and the rain, flooded the clearing. As the water level rose, an on looker would have trouble not noticing that the man rose with it. At first glance his feet appeared to be firmly planted on the ground. But as that was no longer ground but the surface of the rising water level, that couldn't be possible. Faster than it all began, the quake and the rain stopped. A large bolt of lightning split the air and struck nine meters in front of the lone figure. He was undaunted.
A vertical slash of light appeared at the spot where the bolt struck and extended six meters into the air. Something inside the light pried at it, attempting to widen it, and in a moment succeeded. Giant tentacles pushed their way out and widened the portal more. Soon it was as wide as it was tall, and a giant monster began to push its way through. Its bulbous face, with three eyes, and a maw filled with razor sharp teeth, swiveled around, viewing the scene as it struggled to get through. It quickly spotted the man and paused in its writhing.
"You're late!", the man called to it. "Other mes' have already finished this encounter. I may have all the time in the world, but I still value punctuality."
The creature, not pleased with the beratement, let out a roar at the man. "Bow to me mortal, for I have come to devour this world, and all the others in this puny universe. You are nothing in the path of Mr'latipla. I will honor you with being devoured first."
"Really?", the man said sarcastically and with a smirk. With feigned enthusiam he continued, "You promise? I always wanted to be the first to be devoured by an arrogant being that believes itself superior to all other lifeforms in the multiverse." The man lifted his legs into the air and floated in front of the creature in a prostrate position. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" The man then began to laugh and roll around in the air. "You galactic destroyers are all so cliché. Did you really think I would subjugate myself to you? And whats with the tentacles? Can't any of you evolve to have arms and legs, why are you always monstrous."
The monster, Mr'latipla, first looked confused, then stunned, and finally angry. It began to slap its tentacles against the water and the trees in the area. "You dare mock me!? I am Mr'latipla, destroyer of worlds, devourer of universes, I am God!"
That seemed to upset the man, as he stopped his laughing and rolling about and stood in the air before the beast. "I caught your name the first time, not that it matters, and the narrator is right. That did piss me off. You are not God, perhaps A god. Little g though, not big g. I know a thing or two about the big g God. He's way cooler than you. Too busy to deal with you, that's why I'm here." The man walked forward as if up invisible stairs. "It would be nice if I could just unplug your big window and cut you in half, end this quick and easy. But as this isn't that universe I'll have to do it the hard way. Lets make it interesting for the readers." And with that he dashed forward, a beautiful bastard sword appearing in his right hand, and a eerie white sickle in his left.
Mr'latipla swung at the man with all his tentacles, battering him with suckers and barbs. As fast as the man was, dodging and twisting, spinning through the air, hacking at the appendages, some were able to strike him. He let go of his sword and it began to dance and spin around him, slashing at the reaching tentacles. He drew another sword from under his cloak and began to hack his way to the eyes of the beast. As a clear shot presented itself he threw his sickle like a boomerang. It slashed across one of the giant eyes, and returned to the man, now half blood red. Between the dancing sword and his own slashes, he was getting covered in black ichor, ichor that was beginning to smoke.
Between the burning, poisonous ichor, and the barbs on the tentacles, the battle was taking its toll and the man was slowing. He threw his sickle at another of the eyes, but on its return the monster Mr'latipla knocked it out of its flight. Now separated from his dancing sword, by several severed tentacles, and his sickle lying who knew where, the man had only his simple steel short sword. He ran toward the maw of the beast, heedless of the damage he was sustaining from the many blows, and the looming danger of the maw itself.
"You promised to devour me first, here's your chance!" The man let out a war cry as he dove into the maw, past its razor sharp teeth. Mr'latipla began to laugh at the foolishness of the man, and at its own success, but soon grew very still. After a moment it began to writhe intensely and let out a hideous scream. It began to uproot trees and even smashed the nearby boulder to dust, plugging up the new stream. Then the creature was still again. The man cut his way out of the beast, and stumbled away, falling to hands and knees, as it, and its severed parts, began to smoke and burn with black flames. The portal winked out of existence now that Mr'latipla was no longer willing it open.
Covered in the black ichor, and the slimy purple guts of his newly slain foe, he crawled to the dying stream. The battle had knocked away most of the water in the area, and he hated waking up in a mess. No luck this time, he didn't have the strength to clean up. He turned to face the jungle nearby and gave a weak wave.
"I don't know who's out there this time, or how, or why you happened to find this place today. I know you've been watching since before the quake started. At least you didn't try to help this time. Others did, will, and most die." He laid down, rolling onto his back. "Well come out then", he called, "No reason not to come ask your questions. Have your curiosity satisfied. But hurry, this me won't be alive much longer." With that he let out a long sigh, and waited. Soon this horrible mortal pain would end -hopefully-.
