Theo blushed and looked horrified trying to sputter and back pedal even as Fletcher joked. He listened intently and it all certainly made sense. Restarting your life became more exhausting each time you did it and at some point it started to seem less worth it in his experience. 

He stared up at his bodyguard, eyes intense with sincerity despite the dark flush still lingering in his cheeks. "I really want you to be happy. Pirate, bodyguard, or otherwise. You're not one of my books. You're real."

"...why do you stay on land then? There's plenty of ships you can have. Plenty more that would have you. If your heart longs for it that much, what stops you? Or...is it him?"

Theo couldn't ask if he was the reason. He was too afraid to know the answer, to be that which Fletcher resented most, to be what he considered least. It was hard to say what would hurt more; being the reason someone didn't get to do what they most desired or meaning nothing to them. 

He shrugged slightly and moved onto the next box full of frilly, girly baby clothes. "I imagine when you have a traumatic life event you try to bury it all away and eventually you just forget it ever existed. Except when you're my mother everything troubles your nerves and so everything must be buried."

Theo pointed to each of the open boxes. "A daughter you never actually had. A Yule ruined by a sickly son. A mass exodus of servants over a rumored family scandal. I think if it was me it would just all be crates and crates of books. All because I ran out of shelf space in the entire house for more.

"What would your dragon hoard be?"

"Why don't you sit and take a break," Theo offered gently. "I know it's a lot of dust and you're probably not used to all the pollen and plants and things with you not being from around here. I'll start going through this mess first."

He sighed and plopped down on the ground, opening the first box in front of him. A flurry of moths shot into his face making him cough and shake his head. Theo shoved the box aside and went for another one instead, albeit a bit more hesitantly. When nothing happened, he began to more fully unpack.

Broken baubles, garlands made of dried orange slices and cranberries, candle holders, and a box of gnawed on candles all came out reverently one by one. Theo chuckled softly as a metal tin came out next and he gave it a shake. A whooshing sound came from within and his face fell some. He placed it back down with the other things and moved onto a worn collection of nutcrackers.

"I haven't seen these things in a very, very long time. I didn't realize we even still had them. Starting to wonder if Mother is a pack rat rather than a noblewoman. Rat in a dress." He snorted and looked to Fletcher, as if to judge how they were doing in terms of dinging each other with accidental emotional bumps and scrapes.

He snorted and entered first before waving his hand in dismissal. "We all have our moments. I doubt either of them are too partial to my fiance either way. But, aye might be wise.

"Can you help move the ones on that shelf into the hall while I get these? This place has been such a wreck since—" Theo caught himself and shook his head, dragging out more things into the hall to sort through. "Mother and her nerves: the reason nothing gets thrown away. Hopefully she doesn't catch me doing this."

The nobleman also cast a concerned look at the slight to his future bride, his eyes anxiously looking to the other two before his shoulders relaxed some. He worried still that people would begin to talk. As much as he wanted to break ties with Edwina, he needed it to be on his terms and not hers. She had to be the one found at fault so as to protect him and all he was responsible for.

He nodded his head and trudged back up the flights of stairs and down the hall to the storage room. "It'll be good to get rid of everything though I guess," he spoke abruptly. "Not like they're going to suddenly have a second child." 

Theo glanced up as Fletcher re-entered but looked away just as quickly in time to catch Kenna's look. It seemed that he was not the only one aware of what Fletcher had gone and done. It did cause the nobleman to wonder though not only how many people knew, but also how long it had been going on for. Was it something he should be concerned about? His heart said yes but it was such an unreliable decision-maker and he could not bring himself to trust it. And if he said anything, would Fletcher even listen? It wasn't Theo's business. But they were friends so maybe it was?

Aneisha slapped the flat of her hand down on the table several times, the vibration catching Theo's attention where he still leaned up against it. 

"Where's your head at?" She signed. "Jack asked you if there's more to bring down."

"I'm sorry," he signed and spoke aloud before continuing to speak only. "Honestly, probably. I wasn't exactly thorough or organized in my explorations. I should probably just drag them out into the hall and go through them that way. You can send Tiff up if you think the dust and boredom will bother you though."

It took Theo a moment to understand the ashen horror upon Fletcher's face. Only once the man had stumbled past him, practically running out the door did it finally click into place. Ashley was dead. He'd died in the road to highwaymen. And Fletcher still blamed himself for something that was entirely Theodore's fault. 

"Aneisha why don't you pack these things up for yourself to send home and get to cleaning the rest. I'm sure Kenna would very much like the use of her kitchen back.

"I'll be right back," he added, quietly stepping out to see where Fletcher had disappeared to. Theo rounded a corner in time to see his bodyguard downing liquid courage from his flask and instead of confronting him, decided upon a quiet retreat.

The man clearly wanted and needed privacy and Theo found himself with no desire to rush him out of it. With Orz dead, it was not as if there was any real physical threat to Theo anymore anyway. Fletcher could drink on the job and the young master of the house would wisely keep his mouth shut to others on the matter. Yet, in the back of his mind a small niggling feeling worked through his thoughts. Fletcher was not doing well at all if he'd started drinking on the job. 

Theo's eyes slid back to the present. He'd missed the ongoing conversation again. How was it that it happened more and more these days? He would just start to fade and retreat back into his mind, his eyes glazing over only to be startled back into focus by a waving hand or banging fist. The Baroness had been on a rant for weeks now about his current rudeness. The only saving grace was that he'd been able to use his 'feelings' for Edwina as an excuse for being so distracted of late.

He looked over at the doll in Aneisha's hand and Fletcher's attempt to redirect. "I think your sister would like the one in the blue dress better. You mentioned once she likes blue."

Aneisha paused and looked to the other doll. "You're right. I didn't realize you remembered that. I think my brothers would like the stick-horses."

"Then they are yours...provided Smuggler Jack doesn't decide to expand into horse thievery so he can become a highwayman on us."

The young woman giggled. "Does Captain Neish need to defend her horses?"

Why did his words feel like such a balm? It was like a hug they couldn't physically engage in being told that Fletcher was refusing to leave his side. Theo tried not to think too hard on how much it contrasted the last man he had professed to love, how Elijah had left after swearing to forever remain at his side in unwavering loyalty. But, with Fletcher it felt more real and less like obligation. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes that he blamed on the dust as he considered the notion that his bodyguard might also leave him. It wasn't like he hadn't heard the words before. But when Fletcher said them it felt like a promise, a declaration; and if all they ever had was friendship then Theo decided he could accept those few scraps of affection for not being alone.

He plopped the crate down on the counter, earning a frown from Kenna as dust puffed up around him making him sneeze delicately. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he quietly apologized and called for Aneisha.

"I thought you could pick through these and take some to gift to your siblings? The rest I want to donate to the orphanage after having you clean them all up. You can throw away anything beyond help though. I know most of this is likely absolutely filthy at this point from neglect and I'm so sorry."

The scullery maid's eyes lit up as she all but pounced on the box and began dragging out the dusty contents. Sack balls, carved wooden animals, a pair of stick horses, dolls in near perfect condition, a wooden recorder, a jar of small thin discs of different colors, and a string of bells were all removed one by one with various expressions of amusement and curiosity from Aneisha.

"You played with dolls?" She asked in surprise. Theo's eyes were focused instead though on the last item. He brushed his thumb against one of the bells with an expression of nostalgia and melancholy. The maid wiggled one of the dolls with its pressed clothes and like-new form at Fletcher in amusement as if to ask 'can you believe this?'

Theo remained inside for quite some time, the only sounds from in the room being the quiet drag or thump as things were shifted about or a more solid thud followed by quiet cursing. When he did finally emerge, there was dust on his clothes, especially on his knees and where he had wiped dirty hands on his rear, a cobweb in his hair, and a redness about his eyes. 

He nodded to Fletcher as he exited looking hesitant to say something but very much like there was something deeply on his mind. An overflowing crate with old toys in it pull at his frame as he held it firmly by the handles in front of himself.

"I need to bring this downstairs for donation," he finally said before turning to walk back down the hall.  The silence from him was as heavy in the air as it was upon his shoulders. They did not get far though before he abruptly stopped and turned his head to look at his bodyguard. 

"I don't know how to rely on others...it's not stubbornness. Not intentionally at least. I'm sorry."

"...I know you said as winter progresses you will be more likely to snap and bite even at me. But throwing my past choices in my face is rather unfair of you Jack. No one is asking you to prove anything. I know how much you hate her."

Another crate was moved and searched through, this one slammed down more emphatically than the last. "Thank you for informing me of your conversation and her intentions." He lowered his voice and paused in what he was doing to look at Fletcher intently. "...I know you care. But you said not to do this. You can't be angry with me trying to respect that...anymore than I can be jealous I suppose."

He leaned forward on his hands looking incredibly worn and drawn. "I don't know how to hold these pieces and not drop things. I have to get rid of her. But I need her as my fiance. I can't leave, but you can't stay. It's like I can't think fast enough. I thought she was vapid and instead she's a viper. Just one more person to guard against and now I have to be worried about not being guarded enough."

Theo sighed and shook his head again.

Theo scowled mightily, jealousy written all over his face before he could rein it in at the idea of using Fletcher to get to her. "I don't want you hunting him either. I don't want you risking anything more. You're already more involved than I know you want to be and I'm sorry."

He huffed and shifted a box out of his way to look at the one beneath it as if keeping busy would help keep him from doing something he promised he wouldn't. "Is it freedom though, Jack? It's just the same cage with a new keeper. One who is likely far more insidious and dangerous. Or are you telling me if our roles were reversed you'd truly be considering this for yourself?"

His brow wobbled slightly as if to agree on being unable to blame her for her interest but he wisely kept his mouth shut. He sighed and leaned back against a dusty stack of boxes, clearly trying to process all the information into a cohesive conclusion. 

"Alright, next time then you are required to shadow me or else your job is at risk. My safety is key." He raised a brow as if to ask if that was okay while placing the plate on one of the shelves and crossing his arms over his chest with a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry for leaving her with you. I will be sure not to do so again. And now I have to figure out a way to end things with her at fault. God why did you have to be right? I should have proposed to a little bookworm."

He couldn't help himself; Theo snorted but sat up properly and looked out the window in thought. "Can't call something feral no matter how friendly it is, a pet. You could have made excuses for needing to tail me everywhere. Next time we sic her on Niles."

Somewhere to talk. The music room was too easily eavesdropped on or barged in on. Theo shook his head. "Mother wanted me examine the remaining Yule decorations and create an inventory list for Father's budget approval. I suppose with Lady Edwina gone I don't have any more excuses to avoid it."

Theo sighed and crawled back up to his feet. He swiped the plate of snacks and motioned with his head for Fletcher to follow him upstairs. Instead of going down the hall towards their rooms, he turned left and headed off to a lesser used storage room.

"Should be okay here. Are you alright?"

"It is indeed," she replied smugly. "So be sure to be discreet when you pass on my message to your master regarding my proposition. Unless you have a better one of course?"

Edwina winked and rose from her seat as Theo and Kifes came in the door. "My apologies Theodore dearest. I don't know where my head is at. I simply forgot that I have a dress fitting appointment this afternoon. You don't mind do you dear?" She rushed in and kisses his cheek making him blush deeply as she made her excuses and left him there stunned. 

Theo looked to Kifes as if asking if he was insane and missed something before glancing to Fletcher. Now what?

"I guess you can just put the tray down and close the door on your way out. It seems the lady will no longer be needing refreshment. But do take a pastry on your way out. I know how you like Kenna's almond ones," he teased softly as the other man chuckles but obeyed. Only once the door was closed did Theo allow himself dramatically to sink to his knees and lay on the floor facedown with a deeply exasperated groan.

"How bad you going to murder me for this one?"

"Well that's my point. The staff all seem to adore him. He's really just that that then. Poor thing. Our wedding night will be truly awkward then. Unless of course you can give him some advice, man to man that is. You seem the type to know how to steal all the pretty girl's hearts," she commented with a small smirk, her eyes running up and down him appreciatively. 

"Truthfully I don't mind if he has someone else as long as I know about it. If I may be candid there is already someone else in my own heart. The problem is my family simply does not approve of the union. I had hoped if he had someone we could negotiate a way to balance our own happinesses. But, this may be most unfortunate. What a shame."

Seemingly undeterred, Edwina yanked the chair right out from his feet and promptly sat down in it, leaning in conspiratorially towards him. "Well you see Mr. Daw, Theodore tends to be what we'd call a bit of a recluse in society. So any girlfriends I have to discuss this with know him even less than I do. You on the other hand are quite close with your Young Master, having to be constantly at his side as it is. So I would assume you'd know him far better than all the rest. Or am I mistaken about the staff my future husband keeps?"

Soft, pillowy lips that tasted like honey suddenly pressed into his own and Theo could do nothing but freeze. Once his initial shock was over he immediately retreated from the piano bench looking completely scandalized as he touched his own lips. 

"Lady Edwina! Please we are not married yet. It isn't proper!"

"Oh but we are betrothed. Besides it's just us!"

"It is certainly not just us. Mr. Daw is here—"

"Well he won't tell anyone, will you Mr. Daw? You're rooting for us. You don't mind if we lovebirds get a little kiss in now and again?"

Theo snorted before resorting to coughing to try and hide what he'd done. Lovebirds indeed. If the poor girl only knew how truly uninterested he was in her and how very much he desired the other man in the room instead.

"Allow me to procure you some refreshment Lady Edwina. I believe  there's some warm, mulled cider and some mince pies I can convince cook to relinquish early if we're careful about it." He offered a playful wink while heading for the door. "I'll just leave you here with...Mr...Daw."

It was as he said it that he realized what he had done and yet had left himself with no way out of it. Fletcher was about to be the latest victim of her incessant chattering. He offered them both an apologetic smile that had her giggling and shooing Theo along. 

"Oh take your time my dear. I'm sure Mr. Daw and I can find much to entertain ourselves with in your absence."

Theo lingered a moment longer before making his hurried exit. Edwina however took the absence as an opportunity to immediately set upon Fletcher.

"He's rather cute in a shy, bookish kind of way. Your master is perfectly sweet but I had hoped in time he'd be more open to being bold. Is there another lady? A maid or something? I mean I'd thought we'd be much further along and yet he can hardly manage to kiss my hand."

"Oh, yes!" Edwina cried excitedly. She pressed a kiss to Theo's cheek before sliding to sit beside him on the bench. Despite his attempts to move over for her she still managed to glue herself to his side  when he found himself with no more room to escape. Her fingers came down poised over the ivory keys before beginning to bang out a piece. 

It was slower than it should have been and hard to recognize as the rambunctious Yule song it was but, it was still a slight bit better than some of the more snotty arrogant students Theo taught. His leg bounced with each odd note she played. Then after a breath he gently joined her an octave lower, matching her tempo easily. 

Edwina stopped to watch him then gently placed a hand on his arm and waited for his attention. "How do you do that? I haven't figured it out will you show me?"

Nodding Theo explained in quiet tones and then tried to correct her as she tried to replicate it. Eventually he stood and moved behind her, placing his hands overtop hers while guiding her through the notes. Edwina could only turn her head and look at him in smitten awe while the nobleman's kept his focus on the music instead. "Just like that," he murmured, turning his head to look at her and realizing nearly too late that she looked seconds away from leaning in and kissing him.