This hurts me more than it hurts you. [M] [Aeyt!]

[Rhindeer]

Shit, she was so fucked. There was no way he was going to believe that, like...she didn't believe herself right then! Mentally, she smacked herself for getting caught off guard and babbling, but that silk noose of his was still fresh on her mind and he'd promised to fit her with it again if she tried to escape. And so she braced herself, watching his hands nervously for any sign of that damned ribbon--

Until he just gave her the spade and scooped her up into his arms instead.

Dumbfounded, Briar just gaped at him, her face coloring as she was once again lifted like a swooning damsel, like she weighed nothing. It was so fucking awkward, she didn't think she would ever get used to being manhandled, even if he wasn't touching her directly. She squirmed a little, feeling twitchy and still unsure as to where this was going--she was pretty damned sure her intentions were obvious--except...uh...wow.

He actually bought it. Because this was the ol' pee tree. Was he really that dense? Or was he just waiting to drop the other shoe?

Well, she guessed she wasn't being toootally dishonest. Her bladder was full. Eyes slightly narrowed, she watched him dig a hole for her and then go around to the other side of the tree, and she let out a sigh. So fucking awkward. But what else could she do?

Trying desperately hard to pretend Dirk wasn't on the other side of that tree, Briar hiked up her robe and went to squat over the hole, grimacing at the pressure on her feet.

Except now Dirk was talking.

Briar felt her eye twitch. Okay. Maybe if she didn't say anything, he'd shut up. Just don't pay attention. Just piss and be done with it. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, did a mental plugging of the ears and "lalalalala!"--and then twitched again when he just kept going. Now about her goddamned tattoos, which were about the last thing she wanted to discuss.

"Dick! Will you just shut up?!" she snapped. "I can't pee with you blabbin'! Like, this is already fucking weird enough with you close enough to hear me whizzing! There's no multitasking here, Dicky! I already gotta juggle balancing over a goddamned hole with holes in my feet and try not to get it all down my fucking leg so can you just let me piss in peace for fuck's sake! It's like a bloody dam all up in my lady-parts when you're all there and stuff!"

[Aeytrious]

        Dirk immediately felt guilt for causing Briar distress, and he fully intended to be quiet, as soon as he gave her a tip. "The reason I dig the hole so close to the tree is so you can lean back against it to support yourself," he explained. "Then you don't have to squat oddly. I will be silent now."

[Rhindeer]

...Oh.

Well. Now she felt like an idiot.

At least he'd shut up, though, which meant she could pretend he wasn't there. So after adjusting herself so she could lean against the tree, she focused on pretending very, very hard that she was alone and in privacy, because of all the ridiculous things in the world, she just had to be pee shy.

It took a while, but finally she was able to take care of business. She covered the hole when she was done and stood with a groan, her thighs achy. Leaning against the tree, she peeked around it at Dirk.

"Alright. It's safe," she said, and was annoyed to find she was still blushing. And even more annoyed to find that it wasn't all because she'd had to take care of bathroom business in company--but because said company was stupidly attractive, and that somehow made it fifty times worse.

[Aeytrious]

        Dirk gave Briar a little smile when she peeked at him. He stepped to her, and with a quick, "Ready?" had her back up in his arms. The early morning sun shot through the leaves of the trees like arrows of light. Briars face was still a bit flushed and Dirk smiled again at her.
        "You know," he said softly, "I am not the best at social interaction. Perhaps while I care for you, and attempt to curb your criminal behavior, you could help me learn things. Unconsciously I have started to respond to some things I don't consciously understand. For instance, I find your blush makes me feel happiness. Why is that?"

[Rhindeer]

Goddammit!

A fresh blush bloomed on her cheeks as soon as the words left Dirk's mouth, and Briar shifted uncomfortably in his arms and turned her face away to try to hide it. Her blush made him happy? What the fuck? And why was she all blushing like a stupid maiden now? She squirmed, fidgeting, not knowing how to even begin to address that.

"Means you're fucking weird. I don't know!" she grumbled, hunching her shoulders as the heat traveled to her ears. Cradled in his arms, with the conversation veering to awkward places, she couldn't help but remember all the other times he'd made her blush--and that he'd been doing a fine job of keeping her on her toes in that regard. With his hands on her now, their bodies pressed together, it was hard not to remember how he had felt when there had been less between them.

There had still been the barrier of his gloves, of course, but it was the closest she had gotten to feeling another person's skin against hers.

And the way he'd touched her...

She shivered and pressed her hands gingerly against her belly, grimacing at the odd flutter she felt there. Why was she thinking about this now?!

"Means you like torturing me? That you're awful sadistic?"

[Aeytrious]

        Lies and deflecting. Briar seemed to do that a lot, and the blush accompanying it told him that she was embarrassed. The expression on her face and the nature of the lies told Dirk that it was likely a shy embarrassment. He wasn't quite sure why she would feel shy, they were only speaking about his emotions. Perhaps emotions were not just talked about. He didn't understand though, and he needed someone to explain things to him. Since he had Briar captive, Dirk thought it might as well be her.
        "Perhaps there is some other way I can coax you to teach me the social skills I lack," Dirk said to Briar. "I could give you that full body massage that I had promised you during our first bath. I even have an oil that warms to soothe your muscles. I also have some silk gloves I could use to prevent skin to skin contact."

[Rhindeer]

If Briar's face could have gotten any redder, she might have had an aneurysm.

She sputtered in shock at his words, mentally flailing, as her mind shot straight to all the unsaid things that massage had entailed. And that had been with coarser gloves. Not silk! And not with oil!

Utterly mortified, she sank her face into both sore hands and just...hid. Oh dear fuck. Past Briar had been very eager about that promised massage. Past Briar had said a lot of things in the heat of the moment, and she couldn't quite remember what she'd said or if she'd agreed. Past Briar had let Dirk's hands wander quiiiiite a lot more than Current, Sane Briar would ever dream of.

So why the fuck did she hesitate to answer him?

Why the fuck did her heart beat faster and stomach flutter in that almost-queasy-but-not-unpleasant way? Especially when she thought of his strong hands, covered in silk, touching her--

She groaned loudly and shook her head. No! No, no, no, fuck no!

But even as she desperately thought it, what came out of her mouth was a muttered, "What? You that desperate to touch a lady?"

[Aeytrious]

        Dirk once again didn't understand that he was being mocked. This lead to him answering honestly. Which probably was the smoothest move he'd ever unintentionally made.
        "I have never touched a woman the way that I touched you," Dirk told Briar. "There is no desperation, but you are the first woman I have ever wanted to touch."

[Rhindeer]

What.

What?

WHAT?

"WHAT?!" Briar blurted, snapping her head up and staring up at him in wide-eyed, red-faced disbelief, her heart beating hummingbird-fast. Ohhh, this was fucking awkward. And if there was one thing Briar didn't do, it was Feelings Talk. Nooope, that was off limits and Dirk was way too obliviously comfortable with just like...saying shit.

She squirmed, both physically and mentally, hyper aware now of what little contact they were making through her robes, his body heat permeating through the fabric. It was starting to get stifling, making her feel itchy--not literally itchy, but in a "getting under your skin" way that had her feeling twitchy and restless. How did people even respond to something like that?! Was this a thing normal people just out and said?

It wasn't like she'd never had someone give her compliments on the streets, but those were always lewd and insincere, catcalls from strangers. She had avoided any meaningful relationships and tended to disappear when things started growing past the surface level.

On a fundamental level, Briar just didn't know how to people.

"Why?! That's just fucking weird, Dick. And anyway, you kinda are touching me so congrats?! Touching a woman! Good job, Dick, you're a virgin no more!"

[Aeytrious]

         Dirk wasn't sure what was wrong, but something was. Briar seemed uncomfortable, and she squirmed a bit in his arms. He compensated by griping her a bit more tightly, and became more aware of Briar's firm and supple body. Why did touching her elicit excitement in him? Whatever it was, it was new. He'd had little prolonged contact with other humans in a one on one environment. Just the one escort job, and that had been a bit different. All he knew, was that touching Briar excited him, and he wanted to touch her more.
        "What does that mean?" Dirk asked. "What is a virgin? I've heard others joke about it, but I have never heard it explained."

[Rhindeer]

Gods be fucking damned, of COURSE he didn't get it!

"Seriously? What are you, twelve?" Briar scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Wait, don't fucking answer that, I know your age. Whatever. It means you haven't fucked yet. Or been fucked. Whatever's your preference. Why are we discussing this? How do you not know this shit?"

[Aeytrious]

        Fucked. Dirk had discovered that that word had many connotations, many uses, but that the prevalent one had to do with intercourse for pleasure. That was true, he had not had sex. For one, he had yet to even be interested in that. Secondly, from his understanding, that required two or more consenting individuals. He's never been in any situation where that would arise. One thing he did know though, was that sex usually required a certain amount of skin to skin contact.
        "I take it that you are a virgin as well," Dirk said to Briar, "since you are unable to make skin to skin contact with people without great discomfort. Perhaps I can help you learn to control that power. That could be how I earn your teaching of social interaction."

[Rhindeer]

If Dirk wasn't so bloody socially awkward--like, how the fuck did he not know this?!--then Briar might have suspected he was coming onto her. All the same, she leveled a dark scowl at him when he brought up her virgin status. Her mocking him had certainly came back to bite her, and she couldn't help but feel sour. Not only was it just a goddamned awkward topic, but it was a sore spot, too, that reminder that she was fucked up and would never be normal in the most basic ways.

She hunched her shoulders. "Pfffft, yeah right. You don't think I've tried? I was born like this. Ya can't just make it go away. What do you care, anyway?"

[Aeytrious]

        Dirk's expression was not one of amusement. He could understand from Briar's tone that she did not believe that he had any good reason to care. This annoyed Dirk slightly. It was new to him, this feeling of annoyance. There were many feelings he was just starting to understand.
        "I care because it's one of the most basic parts of being human."

[Rhindeer]

Something jolted inside her, small and twisting, as Dirk spoke. That...was not the answer she had been expecting. She wasn't sure what answer she had been expecting, but definitely not that.

She knew he cared. She knew he cared that she was a criminal, and cared not to see her harm anymore people through said criminal activities. He cared about "reforming" her, molding her into a good and proper member of society. Ha.

This, however? This was edging more toward like...caring about her personally?

Another awkward squirm. This was...weird and new. And making weird Feelings stir inside her, feeling she didn't think she liked. Dangerous ones. Soft ones. It had been a long fucking time since anyone had cared about her on a personal level--and some sick, hurt part of her thought that, maybe, it had never even been the case at all. How could it be, when her own mother had--

Briar clamped the thoughts back. Stupid, soft thoughts.

"Oh, so what? It's a fucking human obligation to give a shit?"

[Aeytrious]

        "Haha! Of course not!" Dirk found Briars statement so absurd, he couldn't help but be shocked into letting out an amused laugh. It was not often that he felt the effects of humor. The cultural experience required was not part of his upbringing. "It is human to grow attached to others, and it's a normal human response to care for those you've grown attached to. We have not known each other more than a few days, but I have already grown to care for your well being."

[Rhindeer]

Briar actually jumped, startled both by his laugh and the fact that he even could laugh. He was always so damned serious and earnest and oblivious to her jokes that she'd begun to think he didn't have a funny bone in him--and now it was at her expense.

More startling than the laugher, however, was that it sounded good coming from him--and looked good on him.

Too bad he was laughing at her.

Briar jerked her eyes away from his face and returned to staring at his chest, her cheeks flaming anew. Both at being the source of his amusement, and because he'd just admitted...attachment. Seriously? To her? What the fuck?

She sputtered for a moment, at a loss for what to say, before she finally found her words. "Wha...but...why? I've been a fucking bitch to you! I'm a goddamned thief! You're not supposed to give a shit! What the hell's wrong with you?!"

[Aeytrious]

        "Perhaps I don't understand" Dirk said, pausing in his return to their camp. "Isn't it normal to form bonds of attachment to people you spend time with? Is there something wrong with that? Perhaps I shouldn't feel fondness for a violent person, but I do." He paused, even in carrying Briar, reflecting on himself for a moment.
        "I may not be able to understand the subtleties of complex emotions and social interactions, but the basics are simple. Joy, anger, sadness, fear. These are so simple even I comprehend. I've seen your anger, and understood it. I saw your fear, and I regretted causing it. I see and sense your sadness, a reflection of my own loneliness that I want to understand. Your joy, I have not seen, and I want to. For reasons I don't understand, I want to be the source of it."
        Dirk held Briars gaze as he spoke, and when he'd finished, held it a bit longer. When his eyes broke from hers, he continued on their walk back. There was a nice breeze drifting through the trees.
        "You're also the first person to ever cause the feeling of desire in me," from their conversation Dirk had finally understood the excitement he got from being close to her. He just didn't know what he was supposed to do with that feeling.

[Rhindeer]

Briar's face was a kaleidoscope of expression: irrate confusion, boggled curiosity, stunned silence, blushing bafflement. The only common thread was sheer surprise, first at his simpleness despite his obvious knowledge, then at...at...

Everything else that came out of his mouth!

Her mouth fell open though no sound came out of it, because she found she couldn't find the words--much less breathe. She'd forgotten to do so as her mind went whirling, trying to register everything he'd just spilled, make sense of it. Goddamn him, but it seemed he was trying to give her a heart attack, because her pulse hadn't stopped racing since he'd begun carrying her, and it stuttered a little at his words.

Was he...was that...?

Had he just...

Was that a confession? Was he confessing to her? That he...desired her?

What...

Her lungs started to ache and she let her breath out in an audible whoosh. Her body felt tense, muscles tight enough that she could she was trembling slightly with a weird, giddy sort of energy, her stomach doing that awful twisting thing that wasn't quite nausea but was something more...pleasant? Excited? This...this was way outside her range. She could recognize flirting when she saw it--she wasn't oblivious--but THIS?

"W-wow," was all she said when she could finally find breath to speak. "You just...wow. That...that was sure a lot of words you just went and said." She fixed her stare firmly on her wrapped hands and forced out a laugh. "Boy, you sure picked the wrong fucking girl, though. Pfffft, bad luck, Dick, picking the criminal that can't be touched!"

[Aeytrious]

        "Not being able to make skin contact, and not being able to touch you at all, are very separate ideas," Dirk replied with a matter of fact tone. "I also said that I would help you with your power. I don't currently have magic, since Rit took what he gave me away after training, but I remember the lessons."