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Had to make this way sooner.

Started by Medievarad, March 30, 2017, 03:25:26 AM

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Medievarad

Hello everyone. You all might've noticed my lacking activity.

This is simply because I am failing to carry on with life. A lot of shit has hit me in a relatively short time. My father died in a car accident. My mother got diagnosed with intestinal cancer. I had to sell the parental home, my computer and the PS3 I got from my dad to pay for both her treatment andand our general survival. Gas, water, all that stuff.

And here we are. Little over a week after the cremation of my mother.

I'm not sure how eloquent I can put this. But I wake up to having nothing. And I go to sleep, hoping there will be no tomorrow for a change. I don't know how I can continue.

I had to make this thread sooner. It took me two PM's of people to do.

Anyhow. Don't expect me to return. Don't get your hopes up and don't wait for me.

KingTyrant

Damn... I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, man... Nobody should have to go through that kind of mental strain. I'd hate to lose both of my parents so close to one another, and lose so much more in the process. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but if you do, you have my support, man. I can't imagine how you're feeling.

I guess this is goodbye... Well, I nor anyone else is going to force you to stay. Just take care of yourself, if nothing else... I know everything sucks right now, but your mom and dad wouldn't have wanted you to fall into despair like this. Just remember that all wounds heal with time, and everything will be alright. We'll miss you, dude.

Rhindeer

Holy shit. :\

I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now; it's definitely not something anyone should have to endure. Just...take all the time you need. We'll still be here for you if you ever want to return, but in the meantime, just take care of yourself. We'll miss you. D8
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Lion

Sorry, to hear this HK. You will be missed sorely man. But it's better to work toward healing yourself and we'll always be here if you ever need us. It was awesome to write with you and hang out, and if you ever change your mind and want to stick around, I'd be happy to pick up right where we left off in our threads.

Don't lose faith in yourself and in life man. Life will kick you even when you're down, and it's important to know if that things can and will get better, even if it doesn't seem like it right away. Your life is not over, and every day is a chance to start again. Please, don't let yourself drown in darkness.




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visualspice

I can't even begin to imagine your pain. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to seek me out.
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JackieCat

I am so sorry you've had to go through something like this, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. Do the very best you can to see the light.  It may be hard to find, but it will be there.   I just hope you take care of yourself, and don't lose hope.
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Nova_Eclipse

...I am so sorry that you're going through all of that, and I understand your reasoning.

As much as it pains me to say it: Goodbye, dude, and I hope that things get better for you, soon.

My heart and hugs go out to you and your family.

Marakai Trin

I'm so sorry man. I can only imagine how you must feel...i tried to send you a pm about this when I got back only to find you couldn't receive them, so I can only hope you see this eventually.

My thoughts go out to you and yours. Take care.

Magyar

I didn't know that you'd left again, or why, until now. I hadn't gone through the farewells page in a while, and I just found yours from months ago...

And I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough with this reply, this message, or my support. In the event that you ever read this, I can serve as a confidant if you ever need one. I loved writing with you and I really do hope that one day you'll come back, even if it's just so I can get in touch with you again.

I live halfway across the world, but honestly man, I'm here for you. I can't know what you've gone through, what you're going through, but I can listen if nothing else. Hit me up, I'll be waiting.

almighyxcavus

Im going to preface this by saying I would kindly not like to be witch hunted if I mess up my wording when I say this.
First and foremost, I express my absolute deepest apologies to you. Unfortunately i am NOT in a position to which I can emphasize with you, everyone on this site as well as your closest friends can offer you MUCH more support than I ever could. The fact that all these people came to support you should be uplifting in itself.
I can say that I have felt that feeling of just complete an utter despair, and not wanting to move on anymore. But fortunately for me I had something to motivate me to stray away from that path: my little sister who is now 5 years old. (Im 18 btw)
You may not have the same opportunities as I did to motivate yourself, but you need to find just one thing anything at all heck it could even be a lamp. Take as long as you possibly need to mourn, if that means never coming back to the site then I think the general consensus is that everyone would be ok with that.
Just promise me and everyone else on this site this much: dont let despair win, dont let the devil (im a catholic so excuse my references if they dont apply) win you over, by letting him win you show weakness, you show that there is absolutely nothing you can do. When that isnt the case, I completely understand that this a tremendously despair ridden time for you. Again please dont take this the wrong way, but no one, especially the amazing people on here want to hear that one of their best friends chose suicide. Life throws us curveballs all the time, and sometimes life quite literally stabs you and steals everything you have.
But it is none other than you that has to face life head on, making life pay for what it did to you, and taking back who you are.
Again, my absolute deepest of apologies for you, I can quite literally only imagine the feeling. Just please for the sake the people you hold the closest to your heart, please I beg please do not choose suicide.
If you ever got to read this, thank you

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