In Constant Search of the Right Kind of Attention

[DragonSong]

"But I should have been there," Kitty whimpered. She held him as tight as she dared, not wanting to hurt him but desperately needing the reassurance of contact. "I should have been with you, I should have..."

There were a lot of things she should have done. But she hadn't, and now here they were.

She whimpered quietly and tilted her head into his touch as he wiped the tears away, catching his hand before he could pull it away and pressing her lips to his knuckles. She was just so glad he was alive.

"...I'm sorry about Philo," she whispered after a moment. It didn't matter if she meant it or not, it didn't matter that she would have traded all three of their lives for Atiq's in a heartbeat. "But we--we can't go anywhere, Atiq. Not yet. You shouldn't move, you're really hurt and Wayrin said you can't--"

As if speaking his name had summoned him, the other shifter came cautiously out of the foliage, holding a green, leafy bundle in the crook of his arm. He paused when he realized that Atiq had woken, looking from the human to the panther.

"...I see your human is awake, Melisandre."

Kitty winced. A part of her still couldn't believe she'd told him her real name. Trying to keep her voice clipped and even, she asked quickly, "You said you could help him."

Wayrin nodded and slid a few steps closer, eyeing Atiq warily. "I can, but it'll hurt," he warned, eyes hard and mouth a tight line.

[DaGlobster]

He didn't scold her or judge her. Atiq didn't know what would've changed if she was there or if that would've only made it more tragic. They were alive now and that is what mattered.

"Me too. I don't know what I'm going to tell his sister..." Atiq murmured, holding her for comfort in a way that made him feel extremely vulnerable, like he was clinging to her for life itself.

"I just want to go home and lay in bed," he confessed, smiling even a little bit through the tears as the hand she was kissing cupped her head so he could lean in and give her a kiss on the forehead. And before he could say much else, the bushes rustled and Atiq tensed, which relaxed when he saw a humanoid form.

Then Wayrin stepped out and he was... confused. He'd called her Melisandre, that... she'd only told that name to him! Regardless, the surprise seemed to disarm him and he looked to Kitty.

"Who is this? He... do you know each other?" he asked, looking from Kitty to this stranger. He didn't trust him, something about Wayrim seemed familiar, something in his eyes... WAIT A MINUTE! The realization dawned on Atiq's eyes as soon as he saw the spotted ears and tail.

"You! It's you!" Atiq scowled, and pointed at him. The immediate knowledge that he was a cat-shifter took a backseat to the recognition in Atiq's eyes.

"You tried to kill me, you whoreson! And you hurt Kitty! What the hell are you doing here?" He growled, too weak to yell but not delirious enough to just trust him outright.

[DragonSong]

Wayrin growled immediately, ears pressing back to his head and tail lashing, fur puffed out. Kitty scrambled to put herself between them, curling her lip at Wayrin with snarled, "Back off, he's hurt!" before she turned to Atiq and her expression softened instantly.

"Atiq, it's okay," she tried to assure him, grabbing for his hand again, her other hand bracing gently against his shoulder. "It's okay, really, I promise." She tried to keep her voice calm and soothing, though guilt and worry twisted in her gut.

She never should have kept this from him.

"He helped me save you," she murmured, meeting her friend's eyes and holding his gaze, hoping he could read the truth on her face. "Before, when he attacked you--he was protecting his territory. He didn't mean to hurt me; there was so much happening, so many smells from the wagon, he didn't even realize what I was until I shifted, and then I attacked him."

The jaguar snorted, eyes still narrowed as he glared at Atiq. "She's got fire for a house pet, I'll give her that," he muttered. Kitty glowered at him, but before she could say anything he continued, "And I'm perfectly content to let you bleed out in the jungle. I don't have to help, so if you'd rather I leave, I will."

"Wayrin, don't, please." Kitty looked up at him imploringly, the glower changing to earnest desperation in a heartbeat. Much as she wished she could take care of Atiq on her own, she knew she couldn't.

[DaGlobster]

He hated seeing Kitty beg on her behalf. But Wayrim had a bundle of herbs in his arms and Atiq wasn't stupid or naive enough to deny that his chances were very slim without help. Kitty could protect him but that'd only prolong his death.

"Alright, alright," he said finally, reaching up to take Kitty's hand.

"That was your territory, fine. Give me enough time and I might forgive you for what you did to my sister," he said, squeezing her hand.

"Look, let's... let's start again. My name is Atiq. Thank you for agreeing to help me, you've done a lot already and, well... Kitty trusts you, it seems," and he finally looked up to meet his eyes.

"So please, help us."

[DragonSong]

Kitty squeezed his hand back automatically, holding tight, but for some reason her chest tightened uncomfortably when he spoke. Sister. That was...well, it wasn't really wrong, was it? They'd grown up together after all, yet they were closer than just "childhood friends" might indicate.

Still, somehow it made her...uncomfortable. She wasn't entirely sure why, but she had a sneaking suspicion--but it wasn't exactly the time or the place to address that just now.

Wayrin, oddly, seemed similarly put off by Atiq's words, though for a different reason. Ignoring the human entirely, he met Kitty's eyes and demanded, incredulous, "He calls you Kitty?"

The panther shifter felt a strange combination of defensiveness and shame that she didn't understand wash through her. "It's my name," she snapped back.

"It's the name of a pet," the jaguar snarled. He finally did look to Atiq, just long enough to curl his lip and scoff, "Sister my ass."

Kitty growled at him, shifting again so she was crouched over Atiq protectively, as though worried Wayrin might suddenly pounce. One hand braced next to his hip with her legs on the other side of him, holding her body across his lap without quite touching, her back to his chest so she couldn't see his face.

She knew her nickname could be considered...condescending, but it had never felt that way. When she and Atiq met--well, when his parents had bought her for him, she always assumed she was a birthday present--they'd both been so young that not even she could pronounce her full name properly. She could still remember the tiny boy Atiq had been, utterly delighted the first time she'd shifted in front of him, stroking her silky fur, still kitten-soft then, and calling her "Kitty". She'd liked the name, and it had stuck.

She'd never felt ashamed of it before.

"If you're not going to help, just give me the herbs and I'll do it myself," Kitty finally snapped, ears pinned flat to her skull.

Wayrin scoffed again, but he knelt a few feet from them and started laying his bundle out on the jungle floor. "Would you even know what to do with them, Kitty?"

She winced, growl swelling louder, but didn't answer. She figured all three of them knew that she wouldn't, there was no point digging this hole deeper. "Just...help him. Please."

The jaguar glanced up, met and held her eyes. Then some of the posturing seemed to bleed from his stance and he sighed, nodding. "Alright. See if you can get him comfortable--well, as much as you can. I only know enough herblore to keep infection at bay, I'm not going to be able to do a thing for his broken bones. And this is gonna sting like all hells."

[DaGlobster]

"I don't need to defend us from your ignorance," Atiq said, not willing to fully back down on the issue, and he looked away. He sighed, and sat up under his own power. "Not broken, but... I'm definitely messed up, Wayrim. I know we disagree, but..."

He slipped off one of his leather gloves and bit down on it, meeting Wayrim's eyes.

"'C'mon then," he mumbled.

[DragonSong]

"Atiq, don't--!"

Kitty tried to protest him sitting up on his own, but by the time she managed to scramble out of her protective crouch and reach out to help him he'd already managed it. She frowned, but managed to bite back a sharp reprimand.

She was still near sick with worry for him, and a small, logical part of her brain knew it was putting her more on edge than perhaps she should be.

The other shifter just huffed out a breath as he knelt cautiously in front of Atiq and began sorting through the herbs he'd found. "We don't have the right supplies to make a poultice," he said, meeting Kitty's eyes be refusing to look Atiq in the face, "but we can wrap these under the bandaging to prevent infection. Try to crumple the leaves a little so the pulp comes out, like this."

He showed her, and Kitty followed his instructions as best she could. The best they could do for "bandaging" was longer, thinner leaves that Waryin had scrounged up, which the two shifters used to tie the medicinal plants into place and stop the bleeding as best they could manage.

Kitty winced with every motion, constantly glancing up into Atiq's face, worried that she was hurting him, though she knew it had to be done.

[DaGlobster]

Oh it hurt, but aside from that this situation was something he wasn't too unfamiliar with. He'd been in a similar state after that run in with the lion that put his hunting trips to a brief end, but he'd been able to at least walk away from that one...

He hissed through his teeth when they got to stuffing the makeshift bandages with those healing herbs, and he couldn't help but think that the new scars he was going to have were going to look pretty badass, all things considered.

The hardest part was the look on Kitty's face the whole time, the poor girl looked almost queasy, so he was quick to meet her eyes. Her hands were busy, so when she leaned in to work on his wounds he laid a hand on her leg, giving her a stroke and a smile.

"It'll be okay, Meli," he said, a name he used only when he was being serious or knew she needed comfort.

"We'll be back in the estate before you know it. We just need to find the others, wherever they are..."

[DragonSong]

Once the bandaging was done Wayrin got quickly to his feet and moved away from them, the tip of his tail twitching with either wariness or irritation--even Kitty wasn't quite sure which. She watched him for a moment, hands pausing as she finished tying off the last leafy bandage.

Then Atiq had laid his hand on her leg and she started slightly, jerking her head around to look at him. Her ears flickered back against her skull at his use of her name--her proper name--and her tail curled in tight against her thigh, inadvertently brushing his fingertips for a moment.

"Right..." She tried for a smile and leaned in to nuzzle his cheek gently as she finished with the last makeshift bandage. "We'll find them. But first you need to get better, okay?"

Honestly, she didn't give a single fuck about the surviving members of the expedition. All she cared about was Atiq. But she knew it just wasn't in him to leave Ghedi and Jalai behind, not if there was a chance they might still be alive. So she would stay out here, with him, and do everything they could.

But only once he was at least partially recovered.

Almost in answer to her thoughts, Wayrin suddenly commented from where he stood with his back to the large tree, "If he makes it through the night, we can keep moving with him tomorrow. I can...I know a proper healer we could get him to."

[DaGlobster]

[I just realized I've been spelling Wayrin's name wrong for like... several posts in a row. I'm sorry for any consternation that may have caused  :-X ]


"I will," Atiq said, and then he looked to Wayrin.

Wayrin was a wild shifter, and Atiq had a certain way with animals. Nothing magical or special, just sort of intuition he'd built working with animals and monsters the world over. He knew that creatures of the wild could detect more than even the world's most skilled conversationalist and he'd learned how to truly keep his cool around them.

Or maybe Wayrin could still tell that he was absolutely terrified on the inside. Mangled like he was, in the middle of unforgiving territory during one of the most dangerous times of the year. He was trying to act tough and confident for Kitty's sake, knowing that if he was scared then she must've been absolutely besides herself. Maybe Wayrin could also tell that Atiq wasn't quite ready to relax around him just yet.

"Not Gedhi," he murmured, holding her close. Now that he'd been conscious for long enough, the weight of what had just happened was starting to set in.

"But Jalai and Pilho. What's left of him... Gedhi stole an egg, must've found it when he ran off during the hunt," he continued, wanting to tell someone, anyone.

"...You know the rest."

Then he relaxed, feeling his burden lifted just a little. Well, it seemed simple enough. Just make it through the night, right?

"So, we're staying here for the night? If we go to the cart, we can find weapons and supplies. How... how far away did we go?"

He looked up at Wayrin.

"Where are we? and where is this... healer?"

[DragonSong]

[Lol it's totally fine, I figured it was just an honest mistake haha; and it's not a particularly big deal anyway ^.^]



Kitty nuzzled into the curve of his neck, trying to be comforting, as he held her a little closer. But when he told her what had happened, why the animal had attacked...

Her head jerked up, pupils narrowed to tiny slits and a low growl thrumming in her throat. "He what?" The growl was even in her voice when she spoke, echoing beneath the words, though she didn't seem entirely aware of it. This, all of this, Atiq being hurt, his friend's death--it was all that idiot's fault?

She was going to tear him apart.

Kitty didn't even realize that she'd pushed away from Atiq and gotten to her feet until a foreign hand came down gently on her shoulder. She jerked around, snarling, to find Wayrin looking at her, one eyebrow raised. He looked...almost impressed. Amused, but impressed.

"Easy, housepet," he muttered, squeezing her shoulder lightly, but firmly enough to show that he could force her to calm down if he needed to. For some reason, rather than just riling the predator in her more, that actually snapped her back to her senses a bit. "Save it for later," the other shifter told her before he removed his hand.

"I--" Kitty blinked, and finally seemed to realize what she'd just done. Her eyes widened a bit, pupils returning to a more human shape, and she glanced down at Atiq, stricken.

Before she could say anything, Wayrin spoke again--to Atiq, this time, his evident distaste for the human either ignored or fading slightly. "No point going back to your cart now. By the time we got back out here it would be passed dawn, so unless you want to sleep by day and travel at night--not something I typically recommend for something like you--we're better off waiting out the night and continuing on tomorrow." He glanced away into the jungle, apparently considering, then added, "We're a little less than a full day's journey from the closest outpost. In your condition...I'd say we'd get there just after nightfall tomorrow, if we leave at dawn."

[DaGlobster]

Atiq narrowed his eyes at Wayrin behind his back when he called Kitty "housepet", clearly still not completely comfortable with him around Kitty. There was something in the way he glanced at her, but yet Atiq realized more and more that if he wanted to make it back home, Wayrin was going to be critical to that.

However, it was the mention of an outpost that truly got his attention. He reached back out for Kitty, and though she'd stood away from Atiq he was able to brush his fingers against hers before sitting back against the tree with a pained sigh.

"You're right, we should rest..." Atiq finally conceded, and he allowed himself to truly relax where he sat. "This outpost... we can't be that close to any Essyrni ones, we're in the middle of the delta. This place, is... there are more of you? Your kind, that is?" He said, truly curious.

Because that had been something he'd wondered ever since he was a child. Where exactly was Kitty from?

[DragonSong]

The moment his fingers brushed hers, Kitty turned from the other shifter to kneel by Atiq's side again, one hand on his shoulder to help settle him back against the roots of the tree, a low purr that couldn't be heard but could still be felt thrumming through her whole body. She didn't even consciously realize she was doing it; Atiq's nanny back in Essyrn had called it a "healing purr", noted that it was something she'd seen cats do when they were hurt in an effort to comfort themselves or their partners.

Wayrin watched them, expression stony, though no longer quite condemning. He seemed to be considered how to answer.

"...I suppose you'll just have to see tomorrow," he said finally, once more turning to put his back to the two of them. "Melisandre? Tidure nyenyek, istri'suri."

Kitty went very, very still. Why...why do I know that? Where have a heard that?

The young panther wasn't doing it consciously, but she was simply too overwhelmed to think about the implications of everything Wayrin was saying. About the idea that there were more of them, that they had things like outposts out in the jungle, about...about any of it. Even that strange-familiar language.

She had been so small when she was taken from her mother, when Atiq's parents gave her to him. But...but she thought...

"...Dahn kamu, ma'prajuriit."

Wayrin stiffened, jerking his head back around to look at her with wide eyes. Clearly, he hadn't been expecting her to respond. Kitty just stared back at him; she wasn't entirely sure what she'd said, but she knew it meant something. Maybe something important. She could--she could almost remember, could remember hearing the exchange between two adults when she was so, so small. 

The jaguar and the panther stared at one another for a long moment. Then, slowly, he smiled, dipped his head, and turned to move back into the shadow of the trees. "I will keep watch. Rest with your human, istri'suri."

Not "housepet". Not anymore.

Kitty licked her lips and looked back to Atiq, wide eyed. "We...you should sleep," she murmured, stroking her fingers absently through his by now rather tangled curls. She curved her body beside his and rested her head on his uninjured shoulder, hoping he would listen and rest, trying to ignore the strange fluttering in her stomach, the way she could still feel Wayrin's eyes on them.

And trying to forget that she somehow knew that istri'suri meant "princess".

[DaGlobster]

The purr is what helped him start to succumb to sweet sleep. He'd been fairly out of it already, what with his injuries and lack of sleep. The return of Wayrin (and Atiq's temporary fit of rage at seeing him) had caused his adrenaline and alertness to spike only to start crashing back down, as that had also been the last of his energy.

He held Kitty close, arms around her and hands gently stroking, finding that he didn't care how it looked, that he just wanted her close to him. He didn't catch all that much of their words, and even if he wanted to ask Kitty about the strange words she'd spoken with Wayrin right then and there he didn't have the strength.

They were alone, then. When Kitty asked him to get some sleep, he smiled at her, cracking his eyes open so he could stroke her face and hug her tighter, almost like they were children again.

"I will..." he murmured, and turned his head so he could rest it against hers and kiss her goodnight on the forehead

"Just... stay close to me, Meli. Please, I... I don't want to be alone again..." he whispered, still terrified by how close he'd come to death.

[DragonSong]

"Shh, shh." She nuzzled into his temple, still dancing her fingers lightly through his hair where she could. "You're not alone, Atiq, I'm here. I won't leave you alone again, I promise. Not ever."

The warmth of his hand against her cheek was both comforting and heart-wrenching in a way that she didn't know how to explain. She allowed him to pull her in as close as he could manage, trying to be careful of his injuries but more than willing to become a tangle of limbs on the jungle floor, even her tail stretched out to lay gently over his hip: like kittens sleeping in a messy pile.

"I'm here," she repeated softly as she felt his breathing begin to even out, and her own mind traveled swiftly into sleep.



It wasn't the sunlight that woke her the next morning, though the flash of bright gold through cracked eyelids at first made her think it was. Then the gold shuffled back, resolving itself into the form of a large, spotted, clearly exasperated cat.

Kitty groaned and turned her face into Atiq's neck.

"None of that, istri'suri." Wayrin had shifted back to his humanoid form, evidently. He reached out to prod her shoulder, trying to herd her to her feet. "C'mon, we're burning daylight. The human has a better chance of surviving if we can get him there by nightfall."

That was enough to snap her properly awake. With a halfhearted growl for the other shifter--which only earned an amused huff in return--she twisted where she lay and tried to sit up a bit, one hand on her friend's cheek.

"Atiq? We have to get up now. Can you stand?"

[DaGlobster]

Atiq startled awake, no longer in a dreamless void.

"Y-yeah, I'm up. I'm awake," he said, rising a bit on his elbows to match Kitty's movements. Normally he'd be more conscious of their very familiar cuddling around a stranger but somehow he didn't quite have it in him.

Because even then, he was remembering the past day's events. The attack on the camp, his near death, Kitty...

He glanced up at her, reassured to have her close, always there for him so he wouldn't feel alone. And he couldn't help but pass his gaze over her lips for a moment, remembering how surreal he felt in that moment.

Just as quickly, he looked to Wayrin, for fear of blushing.

"I can walk," he said, and he motioned for Kitty to give him some space. The rest had done wonders, even though his chest was still in pain and he still felt all the bangs and bruises from before.

He patted himself down to see what he had, happy to see his large knife had survived intact and remained in its sheath. Apart from that though, much else.

Shit...

[DragonSong]

Though it only lasted a moment, Kitty was so hyper aware of her friend's current state—worried he may be hiding how hurt he was—that she actually did notice the way his eyes lingered on her mouth for a moment. Atiq may have avoided blushing by turning his attention to Wayrin, but she didn't quite manage it, ducking her head in an attempt to hide the flush even as she got to her feet.

She moved to place herself at Atiq's side again, slipping under his uninjured arm to act as a crutch despite his assertion that he could walk.

Wayrin watched them with a furrowed brow, but he didn't say anything. He just shrugged and turned to start heading into the trees. "Keep up, housepet."

Kitty glared at his back. "Housepet" again. "What happened to princess?" she muttered to herself as she started to follow, careful to keep herself tucked against Atiq's side.

Wayrin's ears twitched, a clear indication that he'd heard her, but he didn't react.

[DaGlobster]

Despite the situation Atiq managed a little laugh at Kitty's consternation about how Wayrin addressed her. Once he got to his feet and managed to stay steady, he seemed to be in brighter spirits. Maybe it was the blood loss, or maybe it was because it happened just as he was coming back from the grasp of death, but he couldn't shake that memory.

No, no time for distractions. Instead, he forged on with Kitty's help. He didn't want to mention how Wayrin's persistent watching gave him second thoughts about his willingness to help, or how he looked at Kitty...

"Where we're going, is... are there more of your people?" Atiq asked.

[DragonSong]

Wayrin didn't answer for several long moments--long enough that Kitty began to think that the silence was his answer.

Then he huffed out a sharp breath and jerked his head in a single, sharp nod. "Yes."

No further information was forthcoming. Just that. Just the confirmation.

Kitty glared at his back. "And...they'll help us?" she prodded, not bothering to keep the exasperation or wariness from her voice.

"They'll help you," Wayrin replied easily enough. He held up a hand to stop them, glanced around at the greenery of the jungle, then nodded to himself and continued forward again. Kitty's ears and nose twitched, trying to figure out what had stalled him.

She couldn't sense anything. She may have the panther's instincts, but she'd been raised in Essyrn. Her skills were dull. It occurred to her, rather abruptly, that Atiq probably wasn't the only one who owed his life to the other shifter; if she'd been out here on her own, she had no idea how long she'd last.

A thought she kept very firmly to herself.

"Well, if they'll help me, then they'll help Atiq." She said it firmly, as though it wasn't a question.

Wayrin scoffed and muttered something in that strange-familiar language under his breath. "You can hope, istri'suri."

Kitty's hackles raised, though she couldn't explain why. "Oh, now you're calling me that again?" she snapped, harsh and irritated and confused.

Wayrin paused, just long enough to look back at her for a long, tense moment of silence. Then he continued on again without another word.

[DaGlobster]

Atiq was confused, to say the least. He caught the tone and what had happened but he was perplexed by the words, by how Kitty seemed to be expecting it.

"What is that word?" said Atiq, mostly curious but also a little indignant on Kitty's part. He'd asked it to nobody in particular but then looked to Kitty and spoke much lower.

"What does it mean?"