Not Quite The Adventure of a Lifetime... (Zombie!)

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

"This is going to be so cool!"

Hoss trekked through the forest, a smile on her face. Tales of an horrendous beast had sprung up in the surrounding villages- a beast the locals dubbed "Featherjaw". Said beast was becoming a menace- and therefore, in Hoss's mind, it had to be evil. And if it was evil... Then it was Hoss's job to kill it.

"Oh my god, this will be epic!" the teenager thought excitedly. "First, I'm gonna rush it with my axe and slice it's legs of! Then I'll shoot it a bunch of times, and then I'll cut it in half!"

Suddenly, Hoss heard it- an unearthly howl in the distance. It had to be the beast. Exhilarated, Hoss ran in the direction the noise came from...

...Only to stumble into a clearing and find the beast already dead. The corpse was massive, at least fifteen feet tall. Fresh wounds from some sort of weapon covered it's body- Featherjaw hadn't gone down without a fight.

Hoss narrowed her eyes, pouting. Slowly she began to circle the monster's body, until she finally spotted another person standing nearby. Did they slay this beast?

"Hey! What gives?" Hoss yelled angrily, storming towards the figure. "That was supposed to be my kill!"

[Zombie]

The sleepy little farm hamlet had been peaceful and what most people would have called idyllic. Goats and sheep bleated in their pastures, dogs had barked almost lazily while children played in the streets. None of the houses or businesses had fallen into disrepair and an overall air of serenity had enveloped the villlage. She'd chosen the hamlet as a resting place during her travels; it had been meant as nothing more than a momentary respite- a quick visit to the tiny tavern for a quick meal and drink before she'd be on her way again. Despite being on the receiving end of some rather puzzled and distrustful stares as she entered said tavern, the strange wanderer wasn't treated hostilely- the barkeep had been wise enough not to turn down a paying customer's coin, even if that customer was an outsider and a rather odd one at that. She hadn't gone out of her way to cause any trouble; in fact, she had simply ordered a bowl of stew and tankard of cheap whiskey for herself, shrugged and ordered a round of ale for the seven or eight other patrons there and had engaged a few of them in a game of daggers.

Liquor and a friendly-competitive game were known for loosening tongues quite nicely- and the hunters were all too willing to gossip about the hamlet's latest troubles. It sounded as though this village and several others in the immediate vicinity had been beset by a ferocious beast that they'd named "Featherjaw," explaining that it had been taking precious livestock and had even killed a trapper or two. It was little more than a troubling nuisence, but neither the people of this village nor the next had been able to deal with it- and if it were allowed to continue roaming freely, that would spell certain doom for the locals. There was, of course, a bounty on the creature's head; nothing extravagant, but an offer of enough coinage to keep the mercenary's pouches lined for a week longer. She had paid attention to their tales and warnings, had signaled her acceptance of the job and the fact that when she returned, she'd bring the beast's head to the village elder. It sounded like a simple enough job and that alone was something that she was quite looking forward to.

That was why the large, colorless woman had been striding through the shadows of the forest for the past few hours, following a trail the likes of which she'd never seen before; Perendi knew all too well that there were strange beasts that roamed the lands- but she couldn't have hoped to ever make sense of the vague footprints. It hand't been an easy trail to follow- and partway through her excursion through the forest, she paused and cocked her head, hearing a most peculiar sound. A resounding howl that had carried far and wide through the forest; causing her to redouble her speed. Once she'd finally caught up with the gigantic creature, the one-eyed mercenary's mouth had fallen open in surprise: it had been a truly magnificent creature, massive, powerful and incredibly dangerous. She'd pulled her war-hammer from its harness cross her back before she'd deactivated her feathered cloak; swinging that weapon at the beast's massive side before it had the chance to land the first blow.

The fight had been long, tiring and Perendi herself had not escaped unscathed: though she'd managed to break the creature's legs, shatter its ribs and bring it low enough to deliver a simple, clean killing blow between the eyes, she had ended up a bit roughed up as well. A set of new lacerations from Featherjaw's claws adorned her cheek, her left forearm would doubtlessly be bruised from the beast's jaws: it had landed a bite that would likely have severed her lower arm cleanly, if it weren't for the chain-enforced bracer she wore- and the leather armor beneath. Its tail had lashed across the middle of her back with the ferocity of a barbed whip. None of those injuries were life-threatening though; they and the others she'd sustained during the skirmish would either bruise or bleed for a little while and be fairly sore, maybe a few more scars would be added to her collection once the gashes and lacerations closed up, but it wasn't anything she believed she'd need to concern herself over.

What had been concerning though, had been the fact that she'd thought on more than one occasion, she'd heard the odd twig snap, though nothing had shown itself. Perhaps this Featherjaw had a mate somewhere nearby? She'd have to be watchful and wary while she sheathed her war-hammer again, crouching near the defeated beast as she began trying to decide how to best deliver it to the hamlet's elder. She carried neither sword nor axe and it would take quite a while to remove Featherjaw's head with her baselard; she'd just have to truss the beast and drag it back whole. Maybe the villagers would end up eating it? She didn't know and really couldn't say she cared either way.

---

A rather irritated-sounding voice pulled her from her thoughts as Perendi rose from her crouch again, shaking her head in disagreement at the newcomer's statement. This had been her job after all. The smaller figure began moving toward her, seemingly intent on... something. What though, remained to be seen. One arm lifted, fingers grasping the haft of her hammer as she extended her other hand straight out in the usually well-understood motion for "no" or "stop." She had no way of knowing if the other individual would understand why she was glowering or what the gesture meant, though; she was a bit winded still, a little tired and didn't want to have to fight another person for her kill. But at the same time, she wasn't going to give in and let someone else take the reward money she'd been promised.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Upon getting closer to the figure, Hoss hesitated. Something was wrong- this person was wrong. Was it a person at all? Hoss narrowed her eyes, pulling her battleaxe from the tattoo on her back. "She's gotta be evil." was the girl's first thought. "Only villains look like that!"

"Yeah, but remember the lastest Falk Firebeard book?" came her second thought. "How Falk encountered the villagers cursed to look like devils? Maybe it's like that!" The teenager's head began to hurt. "Bad guys don't kill other bad guys, right? Why slay the monster?

"Hey." Hoss said, pointing at the person accusatorily. "You're a bad guy, yeah? Why did you kill Featherjaw? Was it for a dark ritual or somethin'?" It was worth asking, at least.

[Zombie]

When the distance between both was swallowed enough that Perendi could get a decent look at the other individual, her eye widened, eyebrow arching in surprise. Unless she's just small, she's a child! She thought; the newcomer was a young-looking redhead, cute in the strange way that a little puppy was and far more scantily-clad than any fighter should have been. Something was quite strange about this predicament; no one so young should have been proclaiming that the monster should have been her kill. As far as the mercenary was concerned, the girl should have been at home somewhere, enjoying the remainder of her childhood, without a care in the world.

Unaware of whether the girl would understand her attempts at communication or not, she shrugged and shifted her stance, lifting her arms so her hands could dance in a series of swift, complex signs and gestures that, if the other could comprehend their meaning, would illustrate: "Go home, kid. You shouldn't be out here on your own." Her expression as she attempted to communicate such a sentiment was warm, open and curious: "What are you trying to do, anyway?"

However, as the girl pulled a battleaxe out of... Shit, did she just take that out of her own skin? the shadowy mercenary slid one foot behind the other and flexed her knees, reaching over her shoulder to unsheath her war-hammer, falling into a defensive stance. She wasn't going to throw the first strike, but it didn't mean she'd stand there and allow herself to be sliced up a little by a strange girl with an axe-- far from it. She smiled wryly, lightly gripping her hammer's shaft in one hand while the girl began questioning her. It all depends on what your definition of a bad guy is. Rather than trying to sign that thought, she would simply shrug and shake her head slightly, though not outright denying the possibility that she might have been a villain: "What's your idea of a bad guy?" Was the unspoken question.

As the girl continued to question her, Perendi reached for a rope twice; simply to truss Featherjaw up with, but changed her mind both times. It would have been much easier to try and communicate with at least one hand free, rather than waving a coiled length of rope around like some sort of idiot. She would pull a silver coin out of her pouch and flip it into the air as a means of answering the girl's first question: "I killed Featherjaw because I need the money and the villagers wanted it gone." A negating shake of her head was given in reply to the question about the monster's death being part of some sort of ritual; her smile growing a bit wider. If nothing else, this teen was certainly curious- a trait that could not be faulted by any stretch of the imagination.

A finger would be pointed at the girl, followed by a pointed look downward at the creature's corpse, then another shrug: "Why were you after Featherjaw?"

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Hoss watched the person in confusion as they waved their arms about, seemingly in an attempt to mime something. The girl scrunched her nose. "What? She wants to play charades now?" she thought, lips pursed. "Ugh, I fuckin' hate this game! I always lose!"

The being pointed at her, and Hoss instinctively tensed. "What? What the fuck d'you want? Use your damn words!" she said angrily. She crossed her arms, axe resting on her shoulder. "I'm a hero, y'know! You'd better speak up if y'know what's good for you!"

"This isn't good! If the village finds out I couldn't keep my promise, they'll think I'm a fake! I needed this kill!"

[Zombie]

Things had taken a rather interesting turn in a matter of minutes- and not for the better, either. At first, she'd thought the girl had just been confused; but as soon as the girl visibly tensed and began spitting vitriol in her direction, Perendi shook her head and heaved a sigh that would have sounded more akin to a snake's hiss of annoyance than anything else. Dragging her free hand through her hair, her eye narrowed in a combination of confusion and annoyance at the anger in the girl's voice. Shit, I'm just got going to get through to her, Perendi thought frustratedly; she was of half the mind to just continue trussing Featherjaw up, activating her cloak and dragging the creature away that way. Maybe it was the fact that the redhead was just a girl, or perhaps there was something about her attitude that kept the voluntary mute's feet rooted to the spot for the time being.

Head raising at a proud angle, she woulld shift the grip she had on her warhammer, roll her shoulders and widen her stance just in case the peculiar creature decided to charge her; a teasingly challenging little smile curving her lips. The hand she'd been gesticulating with would then form a sign she was pretty sure was at least somewhat universal: she flipped her the bird. Though Perendi would have been quite content to remain mostly silent for as long as she possibly could, the girl was making it incredibly difficult on her. Perhaps she would have simply continued attempting to communicate through all other means, but the girl's statement about being a hero struck a chord with her. Drawing a deep breath and swallowing thickly several times, her mouth would open and shut twice or thrice before she actually spoke.

"There are no heroes." The reluctant voice that voiced those words was probably far from pleasant: a low-pitched alto, gravely and raspy, overlaid with the heavy rust of disuse, though those words were laced with a faint hint of tired-seeming humor. As soon as she'd spoken those words, the liquid shadows that flowed just beneath the surface of her skin would darken and shift; some of them seemingly moving to close around her throat, which spasmed violently as her airway slowly began to constrict, an all-too-familiar copper tang flooding her mouth as she gagged and coughed, forcing herself to breathe shallowly through flared nostrils as bright pinpoints of white light swam in front of her eye. Turning her head to spit out a mouthful of blackened-crimson blood, she used her hammer to support herself.

Go home; this is no place for angels, Was a thought that she'd try to communicate; shaking her head again and making a "shooing" motion with one hand. All children, no matter how close to adulthood they may have been, were too innocent (regardless of how foul their mouths may have been) to try and play hero, as far as she was concerned. Once she finally regained her breath again, she would rest her warhammer at her side and go back to attempting to bind Featherjaw's limbs; though her back was to the girl, she wasn't ignoring her- far from it.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

"There are no heroes."

The word's echoed in Hoss's mind, and the girl clenched her fists. How did she process what she'd been told? It certainly wasn't true- what about the heroes she read books about? Was the person delusional? Was she an evildoer trying to lead Hoss off the path of good? A cynic who needed to be taught a lesson?

"They had trouble speaking..." a small voice in the back of her mind said. "What if they're injured from the fight?" Her eyes widened- Featherjaw having left a person in such a horrible state wasn't something she'd thought possible!

"Hey." Hoss said, her voice noticeably softer. "D'you need help with fixin' that? I have medicine in my thigh..."

"I'll show you! I'll prove heroes exist!"

[Zombie]

Perendi didn't fancy herself an evildoer (though she certainly wasn't above comitting evil acts- for the right price and reason) and wasn't exactly a cynic, she just didn't believe in the concept of absolute good and evil, or even permanent enemies. Just as today's enemy could become tomorrow's ally, there were far too many variables to consider to think in absolutes. After all, a "hero" in one person's eyes could be the most nefarious villain alive to someone else and vice versa. Unfortunately, silently communicating such a thought wasn't exactly an easy feat and rather than even attempting to do so, the ash woman simply offered a careless shrug.

Once Featherjaw's limbs were bound together and a makeshift handle tied from that same rope between the bipedal beast's ankles, she would turn again as the girl spoke. Though Featherjaw had given her something of a once-over, the lacerations, bruises and aches weren't anything she'd concern herself with; she'd honestly expected the creature to put up more of a fight, especially since she hadn't seen its kind before. Though she assumed (possibly erroneously- it could simply have rarely dealt with humankind before) it had been a young monster, if such was the case, it was odd that a parent wasn't nearby.

Unsure of whether it would be of any use or not, she would shake her head at the girl's surprisingly kind and entirely unexpected answer, flashing a smile at her before moving to close the distance a foot or two more. Kneeling again, she would use a finger to write in the dirt: ~Thank you for the offer, but no. I've been this way for years, it's why I don't talk and I don't think there's a cure. What do you mean by having medicine in your thigh, though?~ The last part was what she was most curious about. While she'd heard tales about certain people being able to carve compartments into their own skin to hide objects within -and though it was probably completely wrong, she thought magical constructs had to have hidden storage areas- she wasn't sure what the girl meant.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Hoss was a little offended that the beast hunter continued to tie up what should have been her prey, but she ignored it. "It's not important now." she thought bitterly. "She killed it fair and square, and it wouldn't be very heroic if I stole it."

The girl knelt down to get a better look at the person's writing, and a wave of understanding washed over her. "Ohhhhhh!" she said, nodding slowly. "You're one of those silent heroes, like the main character of Vick Dreamslayer and the Nightmares! That explains everything!" She stood back up, smiling. "Check this out!"

Hoss lifted her battleaxe to shoulderblade, sliding it into her back. Left in it's place was a large tattoo, as if the the weapon had turned to ink upon touching her skin. The girl beamed. "Isn't it awesome? I'm like one of those magic bags, the ones that hold all the stuff!" Reaching into her hip, the teenager pulled a roll of parchment and a stick of charcoal from another tattoo and tossed them to the mute hunter. "There! That's easier than waving your arms around, yeah?"

[Zombie]

Perendi was still a bit confused about why Hoss had decided to keep hanging around; sure, the girl had already tried to lay claim to Featherjaw, but she hadn't tried to explain -or even back up- the claim as to why the huge, feathered-and-scaled monstrosity was supposed to have been hers. She'd also been told to leave in no uncertain terms, but had instead decided to remain where she was: the teen was a strange one, Perendi had to give her that much at least; but so far, she hadn't seemed to be anything but a little bristly, maybe even sort of confused, neither of which were any real reasons to try and chase her off in earnest. There could have always also been the possibility that she was lost, or that there might have been more to her choosing to stay than just being frustrated about not being the one to land the kill.

She moved back a few paces so Hoss could read what she'd scrawled into the dirt; blinking that solitary eye and shaking her head in negation when the girl proclaimed her to be a silent hero like a character in one of her books. She did flash a lopsided smile at the mention of 'Vick Dreamslayer and the Nightmares,' though- she'd admit to having read and enjoyed it herself a few times, when she'd had the rare opportunity to just relax and read. Though it might have been aimed at entertaining far younger people than herself, the horrific, nightmarish beasts that the hero had set out against to vanquish had been written in a very believable manner, as had the final battle scene. Still, she'd rejoin the girl again and begin writing in the dirt once more: ~Vick Dreamslayer's author is very skilled! No. I'm no hero; never was, never will be.~  The last part was scrawled as a simple statement; there was no bitterness or resentment in her rather amused expression.

She woud finally re-sheath her war-hammer in its sling across her back; lifting her head so she could look up at the girl again, jaws falling slack in surprise when she watched her seem to push the battleaxe back into her back, a tattoo left in its wake. Holy shit, that's impressive! She thought, not understanding how such a feat was possible. She could only nod, grinning quite broadly, when the girl proclaimed herself to be like a bag of holding; that seemed to be a reasonable comparison, even if the shadowy warrior didn't understand the details behind it.

Catching the roll of parchment and charcoal, she would quickly write: ~Damn, that is very impressive! How are you able to do anything like that? And what's with you and heroes, anyway~