Maybe This Time [Possible M]

[DragonSong]

All in all, the training session didn't go half bad. There were a few close calls between the cadets, dragons either misreading or not receiving cues and nearly bumping into each other, but they all managed to correct their flight patterns in time to avoid mishap.

Of course, when they landed, all Ambrose focused on was their flaws. Azalea dropped her head and took the bombardment of criticism with the ease of long practice; she was used to this. She didn't bother to glance at the other trainees, not particularly caring how they might react.

For the first time though, she realized that perhaps she should be offering her partner a little compassion in a moment like this. She'd only ever had partners who'd trained to be dragonriders, never a footsoldier. She had no idea how Dexten might be feeling, or how he might react to Ambrose.

Shifting her stance slightly, she curled her neck back and surreptitiously nudged her rider's leg. She didn't say anything, not sure if she should, but blinked her amethyst eyes up at him in her friendliest manner.

[Paladienne]

Daxten listened to the criticisms directed at him with stoic patience born of years of being an older brother and months of training to be a footsoldier. No matter what happened, no matter what was said, you couldn't let your emotions show on your face. Not in front of a superior officer. No matter how angry you were, no matter how offended you were, no matter how bad they made you feel, you held it in until you were dismissed. Daxten knew that better than anyone. That was how he'd survived being...

He tensed, his entire body becoming as taut as a drawn bow.

The memories slithered back into the depths of his mind, but their poison was still firmly inside him, waiting for the moment he dropped his guard. Daxten knew he would likely have nightmares tonight, but he had no one to blame but himself. It was he who couldn't get past what had happened. He who couldn't move on. He didn't know why. He didn't know how.

He jumped when something brushed against his leg. A curse escaped him in a soft rush of breath before he could stop it. He almost kicked at the something in retaliation, but then he realized that the something was Azalea. She was watching him, her amethyst eyes filled with kindness. She was trying to comfort him, he realized. And he realized that she could likely feel the tenseness in his body, but she couldn't understand why he was so tense. She would assume it was because he was being yelled at, being criticized for not knowing anything, for not having the proper training as a dragon rider and what did he think he was doing there, and for now, Daxten decided he was content with letting her believe that. Maybe one day he would tell her.

Maybe.

He reached out then and placed his palm on her neck, letting the warmth of his skin melt into her chilly scales. He said nothing, hoping the gesture was enough to assure Azalea that he was just fine. That he would be okay. Somehow.

It was then that Daxten realized something, something that perhaps he'd realized on a fundamental level before, and only now had decided to acknowledge. Having Azalea with him, being focused on her and her success, gave him something to focus on. She gave him something to do. To be. She was his chance to undo the sins of his past and, perhaps, his chance to find forgiveness. Not forgiveness from those who'd been with him, but forgiveness from himself, for being too weak, too young, too innocent to understand the working of the world around him and for being unable to do anything about it.

Then, not caring about anyone else's opinions besides the dragoness upon whose back he sat, Daxten leaned forward until he was practically flat against her neck and wrapped his arms as far around as he could. He closed his eyes tight and pressed his face against her scales, and gave Azalea the hardest, tightest hug he could manage.

[DragonSong]

Azalea froze, the sudden touch as unexpected as it was...well, strangely nice. She was unsure how to react; they weren't really drawing attention, at least not yet, and it wasn't like it was unexpected for riders and dragons to become close-- but she and Daxten had only known each other a few hours! Not to mention it wasn't usually standard protocol for such displays of affection to happen during a training routine.

But after a few moments of hesitation, she curved her neck back around and laid her cheek against Daxten's side for a brief moment, the closest she could come to returning the hug in their current position. A strange spark of-- of something like protectiveness, maybe real affection, bubbled up in her chest.

Maybe this could really work.

The dragoness untwisted her neck as Ambrose jumped into his next round of orders. After that, the day continued in a fairly predictable pattern: the cadets were put through their paces, called back to the ground to be told everything they'd done wrong, every so often take a break for water, rinse and repeat.

By the time the sun was dipping toward the horizon, Azalea was well and truly exhausted. The heat had even managed to bleach some of the chill from her scales, and her breath didn't fog the air with every pant. Thankfully, they were dismissed, and the cluster of pairs split away to go about their own business for the remainder of the evening.

Dragging in a weary breath, Azalea lay down carefully near the edge of the courtyard and huffed a large sigh. She craned her neck back to look at her rider, cocking her head to the side. "So. How you holding up?"

[Paladienne]

Daxten undid the rope tying him to her back, and slid from Azalea's shoulders. He was exhausted and sore in places that he didn't even know he could be sore in. He tugged at the rope that had served as her harness, untying knots and pulling it free. He could already see frayed spots where her scales had nearly rubbed through the first layer of rope. He dropped the rope on the ground by her side, then settled on the ground against her foreleg, tilting his head back to look at her.

"I'm doing okay," he answered her, "I think."

He closed his eyes and rested his head back against her scales. "I've never done anything like this before. I trained as a soldier, not a dragon rider. In that, I'm used to the hard work and the constant movement. And the yelling. I'm definitely used to the yelling." Daxten chuckled softly. "But... I guess I'm doing okay. It's gonna take a bit to get used to, and this is only day one, after all."

He opened his eyes then to meet her gaze, reaching up to stroke the scales beneath her chin. "What about you? What do you think? I could tell Ambrose was going after you specifically on some drills, as if you didn't know what you were doing."

[DragonSong]

Azalea rumbled quietly and settled herself down beside him, shifting so he was leaned almost against her whithers rather than her foreleg. "He always does that," she replied, rolling her wings back in a draconic shrug. "Seems to think I'll forget my basics between partners." She snorted and rolled her eyes. Clearly there was no love lost between her and the lieutenant.

"We need a saddle," she sighed abruptly after a moment, letting her head flop down to rest on her crossed forepaws. "They're not like hand-me-downs, y'know, gotta be tailored for a specific rider and dragon. We can probably get by with the spares in training for a week or so, but beyond that..."

She huffed. Tilting her head so she could fix Daxten with one eye, she offered, "I think there's a blacksmith that's supposed to be good with rush orders in the city. We've got half a day's leave in two days, we could take a look?"

This was...nice. Talking. Planning. Making the assumption that their partnership would last long enough to be worth invested time and money into a custom saddle. She just hoped she didn't seem too eager.

[Paladienne]

"Well, just between you and me," Daxten said, lowering his voice so she was the only one who could hear, "I think he's a jerk. He's a little worse than the drill instructor I had when I was in training to be a soldier. He makes me feel like he's looking down his nose at me, you know?"

A saddle. He'd thought about it briefly, when he'd gone to the supply shed to get the rope to serve as a harness for them. Daxten grimaced slightly, wondering how much a custom-made saddle would cost. "I hope they're not too expensive. Or maybe I'll have to figure out how to barter for one." He turned his head to look at Azalea, seeing his reflection in her eye. "I don't have much money. It's not like you get paid for training, you know?"

He rested his head against her scales, enjoying the cool sensation against his skin. "But... yeah, we can go take a look. We're going to need proper gear if we're gonna do this, right? If we're gonna be a team." Daxten cracked a smile. "Besides, I'd like to see the look on Ambrose's face when we show up for training with a proper saddle on your back. I dunno about you, Azalea, but I'd like to make him eat his words."

[DragonSong]

"Oh, we get a little money to outfit ourselves!" Azalea laughed, giving herself a little shake and fluttering her wings before settling them to her sides again. "We've just gotta check in with the quartermaster before we leave."

A soft chuckle rumbled through her chest and she twisted her head around to look at him as he rested against her side. "After going through the same routine half a dozen times and him still acting like I don't know what I'm doing? Yeah, I wouldn't mind if he shut up a little," she growled, though the glint to her amethyst eyes lessened the threat of the noise somewhat.

[Paladienne]

"Oh, really? We do?" Daxten seemed surprised that they would pay their trainees, but then this was a different division of the military. The footsoldiers had been supplied with equipment during training, and had only received their first pay after they had graduated to real soldiers. He supposed that dragon riders were different in that regard, then, for obvious reasons. Still, he wasn't going to argue. "That's kind of neat."

He closed his eyes and relaxed some, sighing softly. "Then we'll just have to do our best, right? Show him what we're made of. Show him how capable we are." Daxten opened his eyes and tilted his head back, offering her a smile. "Should we get cleaned up then? I still have to learn how to properly take care of you, I guess, if that's something you want. And I guess we should get something to eat."

As if to accentuate his comment, his stomach rumbled. Daxten's cheeks heated and he looked away, feeling a little embarrassed.

[DragonSong]

"Well, sure." Azalea shrugged in response to his apparent surprise that they would be given a stipend to outfit themselves. "It's not like with foot soldiers, really-- you can't just keep reusing training gear. Dragonrider saddles have to be tailored to specific dragons and their partners, if you want them to work best."

When his stomach rumbled, she chuckled quietly, the sound rumbling low in her chest, and lowered her head to nudge the center of his chest almost playfully. "C'mon, let's get you something to eat. We can stop by the quartermaster's after."

She didn't comment about him learning to care for her. That still felt...odd. She knew most dragons in the military allowed their human partners to supplement the communal grooming and such that some of her kind practiced, but she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it. It just seemed...a little strange, she supposed.

[Paladienne]

Daxten sensed some kind of uncomfortableness coming from Azalea when he mentioned taking care of her. Did the riders not take care of their dragons? Did they not care for their partners? He wasn't sure, and he wasn't going to press. She wasn't used to it, he felt, and he couldn't blame her, considering her past. He didn't want to be like her past partners, though. He wanted to be different.

Finally, he pushed himself to his feet and stretched. His muscles protested the movement, feeling tight and stiff, but after a minute they relaxed enough to become a dull ache rather than a pointed throb.

"Well, I guess you'd better show me around here, then. Find the mess hall, or whatever it is. We'll eat, we'll go by the quartermaster's, and then with the rest of our day, we'll go explore the town and find the blacksmith and see if we can't work out a deal with him."

Daxten patted Azalea's snout, rubbing his thumb on the scales between her nostrils.

[DragonSong]

Azalea shorted quietly and resisted the almost instinctive urge to yank her head back. She would have to get used to this kind of contact, after all.

"Um, mess is just that way." She raised her head and nodded back over the barracks. "There's not really much room for a dragon to fit though, we normally just hunt for our meals in the woods outside the city." She shuffled a front paw a little awkwardly and cleared her throat, glancing away.

"I'm sure one of the other trainees would be happy to show you around the mess, and I can just...go hunt. Or, um..." She cleared her throat again, exhaling a small cloud of ice crystals. "If-- if you wanted, you could...come with me? Might be easier to stop by the quartermaster's on our way out that way, though..."

[Paladienne]

Daxten blinked at her words, confused. She wanted him to go hunting with her? He'd assumed that the mess hall would have been built to accommodate both the trainees and their dragons, but he realized now that would've been stupid, considering dragons were too big and ate too much, and if what Azalea was suggesting was true, then dragons could take care of themselves with minimal interference and aid from the humans they chose to have ride them. He looked away from her as his cheeks flushed, ashamed that he'd assumed so much. Wasn't that what had gotten him into trouble in the first place? Assuming that they would be safe? That their mission was an easy one and that nothing would happen to them?

He squeezed his eyes shut.

When he opened them, he looked up at Azalea and smiled. "Yeah, I could go with you, if you want. I haven't been hunting in a long time. I... I can go get my bow from my quarters, if you don't mind waiting a little longer. And then we can go stop by the quartermaster's before we go. Is that all right?"

If she wasn't willing to wait, Daxten would just go try to find food on his own, and then he'd await her return. But... he found himself actually enjoying the idea of going with her to hunt. There was no better way for them to get to know each other, after all, than to spend time with one another and do things together. Besides that, if they made it through the training and were ordained in full, then they would be sent on missions together where they would have to hunt for their own food, among other things. It was a perfect opportunity to see how well they could actually work together, even though they'd only been together for a matter of hours.

[DragonSong]

A breath of relief whooshed from her lungs and she narrowed her eyes at him gratefully, tilting her head and fluttering her wings in what she hoped was understood as an expression of happiness.

"Yeah, I don't mind waiting," she replied quickly. Folding her wings a little tighter to her sides, almost prim, she settled back on her haunches and nodded her head toward the barracks. "You go on, I'll just wait here."

She was quiet a moment longer, then rather abruptly snaked her head out to give his shoulder a quick, companionable nudge with her snout. "...Thanks."

[Paladienne]

Daxten smiled as she prodded his shoulder with her snout, and he gave her a light pat in return. Then he was running off toward his quarters, feeling lighter than he'd felt in a long time. He didn't know if it was because he'd found in Azalea a friend that didn't judge him - granted, she didn't know his past yet, and if Daxten had his way, she wouldn't find out until he was ready to tell her - or if because it was easy to let go of the things that plagued him with constant nightmares around her. There was just something about her, and Daxten didn't know if it was because she was a dragon and not a human. Either way, Daxten pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and ignored them. He could deal with them later.

Maybe.

Daxten dashed into his quarters and slid to a stop beside his bed, grabbing his quiver and his bow, ensuring that he had extra bowstrings stored in his quiver in case the one he used to string his bow broke at any time. He strung it quickly before he exited his quarters, running back to rejoin Azalea. He skipped to a stop in front of her, his chest heaving for breath as he panted from the exertion. He gave her a bright smile and saluted her with the bow as he slung the quiver over his shoulder, securing it in place.

"Ready when you are, Azalea," Daxten said with a light tone.

[DragonSong]

Azalea didn't have much to do besides curl up and wait when Daxten ran off to gather his things, though she found herself narrowing her eyes and tilting her head slightly in the dragon equivalent of an almost fond smile.

Maybe this can really work.

Sure, Dax was inexperienced inasmuch as being a dragon rider was concerned, but maybe that was why this felt different-- good different. He didn't have the same expectations of her that she'd sensed from her previous partners. He just took what she said at face value and left it at that.

She winced a bit as a small pang of guilt clenched in her stomach, but she quickly shook it away. It's not like I'm really lying or anything, she told herself firmly. I just...don't tell them everything. Not like it's hurting anyone.

She was jerked from her thoughts by Daxten's call and lifted her head, rising gracefully to her feet.

"Alright, let's get moving then." She stretched out one foreleg and lowered her front half slightly so he could more easily climb up onto her back.

[Paladienne]

Daxten hesitated for a heartbeat, but moved to climb onto Azalea's back as quickly as he could. He moved gently for all his speed, careful not to pull on her scales or push them in awkward positions with his feet. When he was settled, he took a moment to situate his equipment so it wouldn't be poking him in the side or banging him in the head or bouncing against Azalea when she moved.

"I'm ready when you are," he said, offering her a smile. He trusted her to take them to the proper place, to see the quartermaster, and then to where she wanted to hunt. He'd never actually been out of the grounds since his return, and as much as he was eager, he was also extremely nervous. But he trusted Azalea. He had to.

As they headed toward the quartermaster's, Daxten asked, "Do you have anywhere particular you like to hunt?"

[DragonSong]

"There's a strip of the Draconi that's less than an hour's flight from here, normally has some good game," Azalea told him lightly in response. She glanced back at him over her shoulder and added, "If you're too hungry to wait though there's plenty of game just outside the city. Not as fun to hunt, but much faster."

The quartermaster's office was on the other side of the training grounds, but by skirting close to the wall Azalea could get them there without really drawing any attention. They did draw a few looks as they passed the dining hall, most of the trainee riders choosing to relax just outside and enjoy their meals near their dragon partners, but she didn't pay them much attention.

When they reached their destination, she bent her forelegs to lower her front half toward the ground and cleared her throat raspily, trying to grab the quartermaster's attention from outside.

[Paladienne]

"Hey, wherever you wanna go, that's fine by me. I just don't want you deciding I look tasty or anything." Daxten replied with the hint of a smile, inviting her to join in on his little joke. His smile faltered a moment later, uncertain if he really had just insulted her by suggesting that she might find him a tasty snack. Still, he didn't quite know how to recover from that, so he just looked down at his lap, as if he found the scales of her neck extremely interesting. Then he said, "I'm fine with anything. I have no preferences. I trust you to make a good choice."

Daxten fell quiet again after that. He said nothing as Azalea carried him toward the quartermaster's office. He didn't even glance up to meet the gazes of his fellow trainees as they stared at him. Getting their approval wasn't why he was here. Trying to make a good impression with them wasn't why he was with Azalea now. Still, he wasn't sure how she exactly felt about him, especially after he'd basically just accused her of being a man-eater.

He shifted his weight as she bent forward, his eyes finally lifting as she made that strange sound in her throat. When there was movement inside the building, Daxten turned his gaze onto the sudden form of the quartermaster. His mouth suddenly felt dry, and he was uncertain as to what to say when the quartermaster's eyes focused on him and lingered. Daxten stiffened under that gaze, feeling as though he were being measured and found lacking somehow.

Then the quartermaster's eyes went back to Azalea, and he chuckled, "This new one of yours is mute, eh, Azalea? What is it you need?"

[DragonSong]

Azalea had to admit she was a little taken aback by the joke, though she was more befuddled by the way Daxten suddenly sank into silence. Assuming he just didn't feel like talking, she kept quiet herself until they reached the quartermaster.

She offered the older man a dip of her head and a slight narrowing of her eyes, a dragon's polite smile. "We need funds for a new saddle," she told him evenly. She shifted her weight a bit between her hips, not quite sure why Daxten still didn't speak.

[Paladienne]

"Funds for a new saddle, eh?" The quartermaster smirked, his eyes flicking from Azalea to Daxten, who remained silent upon her back. "And what say you, boy? You gonna let Azalea here talk for you?"

Daxten stiffened, his eyes narrowing slightly as he stared back at the quartermaster. "No."

"No? Then why's she asking for something for you, eh? Speak up, boy. What is it you need?"

Daxten swallowed hard, feeling a spike of anger. Yet, he also felt shame. He should have been the one to ask, considering the saddle was more for him than Azalea. She would be perfectly fine without a saddle; he was the one who needed a better way to keep himself on her back when she went through her maneuvers. He ducked his head and closed his eyes tight. "I..." he swallowed hard and lifted his head, opening his eyes to look at the quartermaster. "We need funds for a new saddle."

"What was that?" the quartermaster said, cupping his hand by his ear. "What did you say? I'm old, boy. Speak up!"

Daxten's face flushed bright crimson. Was the quartermaster making fun of him? Why? Because of how he'd reacted to the man? He looked away from the quartermaster and tightened his fingers into a fist. He took a deep breath and faced the quartermaster again, his voice almost snappish as he said, "We need funds for a new saddle!"

The quartermaster chuckled. "So you do have a voice." He turned his attention back to Azalea. "You've got a good one this time."

He returned to his office and pulled a sack of coins from his desk, along with a voucher. He tucked the voucher into the sack of coins, then returned to the pair outside. Reaching up, he deposited the bag into Daxten's hand. Before Daxten could pull away, the quartermaster grabbed his wrist, holding it in an iron grip. Daxten stiffened, staring wide-eyed at the quartermaster.

"That will get you what you need," the quartermaster said, still holding tight to Daxten. "You take care of her, you hear? You're partners now." He released Daxten then and turned to Azalea, smiling. "And you take care of him."

Daxten pulled his arm back and held the pouch close to his chest, staring at the quartermaster as the man returned inside to his office for the last time. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and looked toward Azalea. "He's a weird one, isn't he?"