Return to the Wild (Small Wonder!)

[Anonymous]

This was going better than he had expected actually. She was listening to him, and even calling him master. He could really get into this part, that was for sure. She was lucky that he had brought the torch out, because he had no use for it personally. This was all for her benefit actually. He could see in the dark perfectly, while she probably could not.

"Mm, I do love hearing you say that word." Nexus told her as he started to create various lengths of ropes. He wasn't going to suspend her from the pillars, as that would cause too much stress upon her joints, and would also tire her faster. No, for this she would have to be free range to some degree. First off he tied her leash to the pillar before tying the strong half fibre, half metal ropes to the pillars. After all, he couldn't hold onto her forever.

"What do you think?" Nexus said idly as he checked his knots and rope strength carefully. Though they were normal fibre like ropes,.they held a metal core, something for strength even if she managed to cut through the fibre part of the rope. Nexus knew this was a little extreme, but he wasn't going to take any chances with her this time. For poor Niamh, where she thought this was because of her struggle, it was all about revenge. It was about revenge against women, one of them who had broken his heart and threatened his life for three days, squashing all his dreams of a 'happy ending' for him. This was about dominance as well, exerting his will and showing that he was not weak. That was something that had angered him the most. He had let her go. He had pitied her, and he was weak because of it. However, instead of punishing himself, he was going to punish her.

He wondered what was taking her answer so long, as he was done tying up the four lengths of rope, turning to look at her, his arms crossed. He was almost going to count this as a sentence, and the sentence hadn't ended in master. Before he could do anything about it however, she spoke once more, and even called him master thankfully. A pity, he was looking forward to ripping off an article of clothing. Well, she would slip up eventually wouldn't she?

"You will? Oh well I guess I can take your word for it then." Nexus said as he turned around. HAH! Like he would actually believe her and allow her to be untied. She was a fighter, and she hated him. He wasn't going to give her an opening, not like this. He just started to create a rope, not a whip this time, as he had no reason for it. Her leash was tied to the pillar, and it wasn't like she could go too far from him. Nexus turned around, holding the electric rope in his hands carefully, smiling at her.

"It's just too bad that I'm the master and you're the slave. Masters don't listen to slaves. Slaves listen to masters." He stepped forward with the rope, simply flicking it at her like one would flick a whip. He knew that the electricity coursing through it would send her body into another shock, paralysing her muscles and such so he could tie her up to the pillar properly. However, this wasn't meant to do any cosmetic damage, it was simply meant to stun her. This was going to be a fun day.

[Rhindeer]

...He would like hearing her say that word, and the fact that Nexus seemed to be enjoying this so much only disturbed and irritated her all the more. Yet somewhere beneath her fear, Niamh made a silent vow to make the man hate the word "master". He wanted her to say it after every sentence? He loved hearing her say it? Fine. She'd do her part to drive him insane with that word. She'd bloody repeat it every other word just out of spite. Then let's see how much he liked hearing her say it! Those were her bitter thoughts as she watched him create more lengths of rope, though her heart sank when he tied her leash off to the pillar. Dammit...but...it was okay still. It didn't matter if her leash was fastened somewhere. If he came close and untied her hands, she could still do something, and untie herself later.

Wait a minute.

Oh hell! Forget about untying herself later! Her leash was made out of rope, even if the bindings around her arms and ankles were made of wire. Light, why hadn't she thought of this before? Probably because she'd been too panicked to think in their first encounter and in this one, well, her bindings were wire and not rope. Except for the leash, though she had only just recently noticed that fact. Wonderful. That was another thing she needed to work on, her reaction times, because she was just starting to realize just how much she forgot and overlooked when panicked--vital things that would likely cost her not...ugh...no thinking about that right now, just focus on the now...

Taking a deep breath to try and steady her nerves, even though she was still shivering, she glanced towards the torch. It might be enough light. If she just concentrated, drew upon the energy there, she might be able to conjur up the barest bit of fire, just enough to work away at the fibres little by little in a place that Nexus wouldn't notice right away. It was a long shot because it wasn't like it was bright as day in the room and her ability was weak as it was, but it was worth a try.

So, while Nexus was fiddling with more rope, she was doing her best to look afraid and meek--again not something that was difficult, given she really was terrified--while focusing all her energy onto one single task: burning away at the rope threads where the least was tied around her neck, her concentration directed to a place at the back of her neck where her hair covered the rope. It was a good area to work at since Nexus likely wouldn't be able to see it, hidden from view as it was, but it was also tricky because she had to try not to burn herself, too. Eyes downcast and trembling hands clenched, Niamh focused hard, focused on the light in the room, the energy, focused on that one spot on the rope at the back of her neck, and drew upon what meager power she had. It was slow work, but she had to work slow anyway, working on thread at a time. That was pretty much the extent of her ability with fire, anyway, at least without the aid of her staff, but that was all right...she wasn't aiming to burn completely through it because if she did that it would fall off her and then Nexus would know what she'd been doing. No, she just had to sever it enough so that a good yank would tear it the rest of the way, and though it was tedious and tiring, even though she knew it might not work, just having some task to occupy herself with was a little comforting. It made her feel like she was doing something that might, just might, help her.

Unfortunately, she had burned through only a few threads--a feat that was taxing in and of itself; the light source wasn't that great and so it only drained her more--when Nexus answered her, and Niamh paused in her work and looked up in genuine surprise, her concentration disrupted by that new distraction. Wait, what? Seriously? He was going to believe her, just like that? Good...she really had a chance, so long as she didn't screw this up and really planned out her move...though she didn't like the looks of that rope he was creating now. Still, she exhaled loudly and slumped a little, relieved. Okay. This could really work... "Thank you...master," she breathed out shakily, now on her best behavior. For the time being. Just until he untied her.

Which wasn't going to happen. It soon became apparent just what that rope was, and when he spoke...augh! She knew it. He was screwing with her again.

Her eyes widened, and she managed to take an awkward step backwards, the wire biting into her ankles though she didn't notice at the moment. "Nexus, don--!" was all she was able to get out before the rope touched her, movement far too difficult bound as she was for her to react fast enough to dodge. Once again she collapsed as her body seized and spasmed painfully, her vision blanking out for a few seconds as she must have temporarilly passed out. But she was conscious a moment later, if in pain and paralyzed though her muscles twitched as they recovered from the electricity that had surged through them. She coughed and worked desperately to gather her thoughts, though it was hard; it was always so difficult to think after that, like her mind had been fried.

Ah, again...dammit...he was going to pay...when she got free...

[Anonymous]

Nexus couldn't believe how nice it felt to see her relieved, and then dash all hopes as the length of electric rope touched her. Nexus knew how much electricity a human body could stand, and as long as he kept the shock away from her heart, and at a low amperage but high voltage then she would recover afterwards. He caught her afterwards, letting the ropes and wires around her neck and body vanish entirely.

"Ah you'll be fine poppet." Nexus murmured to her as he hauled her over to the pillars. First thing was first, tie up both arms. With the special ropes securely around her arms, she wouldn't be able to move, and it held up her semi-conscious form for the time being. This pleased him, and he was quick to tie her ankles up, just in case she decided to try to knee him in the face. Undamaged he moved away, to pick the torch up.

"Mmm, that is a sight for sore eyes." Nexus commented to himself. His stride was quick to move away from her, setting the torch down so it barely illuminated her. He didn't want her to see too much of what he was doing, lest it take all the fun out of it. Coming up to her he reached a hand out to gently cup her cheek, an almost kind smile upon his harsh face. The harsh fabric of his gloves slowly rubbed up and down the side of her face, his knuckles just barely touching the soft skin.

"First thing is first before we get to all the foreplay. I need a memento." Nexus reached for his belt, finding one of the satchels and opening it. A hand plunged inside which withdrew soon enough a small dagger. The weapon no more bigger than a finger, it looked like a simple multipurpose knife. In this case that was very true. The hand that was upon her cheek left, moving to her hair. He gripped a good lock, then moved the knife up to her head.

It was better to do this when she couldn't resist. With a quick movement, he cut her hair. Sliced right through the lock, getting a nice length. The knife went away, replaced by a piece of wire which he tied the hair up with. Then, as a final insult, and to show nothing was really sacred, he lifted the locked to his nose and sniffed it.

"Ahh, I'll remember you for a very long time." Yes, he was a creep, he was freaky, and he loved to mess with his...victims. He moved around her, going about the pillars till he was at her back. Mm, now  he had to figure out what he wanted to do. He knew he was going to have to brand her...the only question was...where. Where to put his name...where to put the reminder that she was nothing but...his.

"Niamh, I do hope you can talk at this point. I'm going to be very nice. I'm going to let you decide where you want my name on your body. You can pick anywhere you want. Lower back, breasts, leg, thigh, arm, cheek, neck, forehead, hand, stomach, ankle, pretty much wherever you want." Nexus's hand had found itself pulling the dagger out once more from the satchel, twirling it between his hands. After he branded her, that spot would only be touched by his fingers again. He wouldn't dare defile his own name, not when it was upon such a lovely creature.

"So, where do you want?"

[Rhindeer]

Niamh was only vaguely aware of being carried and of her limbs flopping freely when they were suddenly released of the wires binding them, her arms and legs mostly unharmed except for a few thin cuts around her ankles that she could feel stinging. She couldn't move an inch as he hauled her about, not even to grimace as he spoke to her. The damned nickname again...and she'd be fine? That coming from him as he tied her to a pillar? But she couldn't do anything about it, limp and paralyzed as she was, and could only vaguely watch him go about his buisiness.

By the time he was done, she could move just a little, flex her fingers and shift her body slightly, though she was still too weak and out of it to talk or support herself. But even then she could only watch as Nexus moved the torch further away until only a little light was still on her, and with the light some of her power went, as well. But...it was still light in the room. It wasn't completely dark. As long as there was still light, it was okay.

If it was pitch black, that was a different story. At this point, she'd probably lose her head if that torch went out.

Not that she wasn't already on the verge of another panic attack as it was, especially when Nexus returned and started to rub her cheek. Niamh cringed, still too weak to jerk away, and if she had been able to move enough she would have bitten that hand--hard, to take out as much flesh as she could. Unfortunately, she couldn't move well enough to do that yet so all she could do was endure it, hardly breathing, her heartbeat quickening in a budding panic which only increased as he went on talking about...about foreplay and mementos and pulled out a knife, and all this after talking about stabbing her with sharp objects in weird places and cutting off fingers and strips of skin and petting her cheek and...and...

Light, what the hell was he planning? Was he going to kill her? Torture her? Rape her? Sell her into slavery? All of the above? Or was he just messing with her again, trying to scare her? If so, it was working! After all, he'd threatened similar before...he'd threatened to kill her last time, threatened to sell her to drow, threatened to "indulge" himself with her...he'd even choked her. But he'd still let her go in the end without really hurting her too much and certainly without fulfilling any of his threats. He might just do that again...though...this time he seemed to be taking it a lot further.

Then again, he hadn't actually done anything yet but tie her up...just like before...

She just didn't know...that was the problem.

Niamh's thoughts were snapped back to the present, however, when Nexus moved his hand to grip some of her hair before cutting it with his knife. And then he sniffed it and tied it off. A chill ran down her spine, the hairs on the back of her neck raising, and she pulled at her bindings, feeling a bit stronger now. Oh no...Goddess...she knew what that meant in some cultures, the whole hair thing. In some cultures she'd heard of, it was a sign of possession. Some people believed that if you possessed a part of someone it gave you power over them...and then there were those heathen witches that used stuff like that in their spells to manipulate and harm people. Niamh didn't know if any of that stuff was actually true, but it made her feel kind of sick to know Nexus had done that...but she also knew that kind of magic had no power over her...she belonged to no one but Mother Sun, she was her daughter, she had faith, she would be protected...

Even though she was so scared. And even more so when Nexus moved out of her line of vision and just kept on talking...and...what?! His name on her...no way! And of course the perverted bastard would pick places like that! She clenched her hands into fists and pulled hard at her bindings.

"Nowhere!" Niamh snapped, before jerking a little and tacking on a quick "master" at the end. And then she jerked again, shuddering a little. Yeah, right, like he'd take that for an answer, though she hoped he wasn't serious. Still, serious or not, she knew that if she <I>didn't choose, he'd probably just go ahead and choose a place for himself, and she likely wouldn't like what he chose. "I...I mean, one second, lemme think...master." But she was already thinking about it, mind working frantically. Anywhere, huh? Very well then. If she was going to have his name on her, she was going to make sure it wasn't in a nice spot, and certainly not in a visible place. Of course, she would also be sure to get rid of his name once she was free, even if that meant carving her own skin to get rid of the mark--she was not going to just leave his name there. Oh no, she was far too superstitious for that and it was already bad enough that he'd taken a lock of her hair.

Her first thought was her bottom because then she could sit on him, but then she remembered her pants would have to be lowered for that to work and there was just no way in hell that was happening. Her next idea was the sole of her foot so she could walk on him, but then that would also be bad because she wouldn't be able to walk or run without limping afterwards, and she needed to be able to run unhindered if a chance to escape presented itself.

Finally, she gave a slight snort and leaned her head back against the pillar, and she couldn't help the sudden nervous laugh that escaped her. That was the stress talking, no doubt. "Fine, master. My armpit, master. Put your name there, master. I'll think of you whenever I sweat, master. It's fitting, master. Don't you agree, master? Master, master, master, master, master, master, master! Don't you ever get sick of it, master? I know I'm sick of it, master. Oh Light, it doesn't even sound like a real word anymore...master." Another nervous laugh, only this one was shakey and faint and all too forced, and her voice sounded oddly thick near the end.

Honestly, babbling away like that was what was keeping her calm when all she really wanted to do at this point was, well, cry. Her vision was already slightly blurred much to her dismay, her eyes moist, but she blinked stubbornly and stared down at the ground. "...Why are you doing this...?" she muttered quietly, turning her head slightly. She did not like not being able to see him, and it unnerved her all the more knowing that he was behind her somewhere.

[Anonymous]

Nexus idly wondered if she had been listening to him the entire time. The first time he had asked her something he didn't listen, so why is it she expected him to comply this time? Was something different about this time? It couldn't be, it seemed exactly the same at this point. He just smiled to himself, ignoring her chattering ways of repeating the word master. Though he really did like to hear her say it, she was going overkill on the word. Well, that was slightly...disconcerting for him. He did so love that word after all.

However, something that really seemed to make him smile was the fact that she was nervously laughing and trying to cover up her fear. At least, that's what he believed. He didn't much like the idea of putting it on her armpit though, the smell wasn't going to be very pleasant after all. Such horrid sweat mixed with blood, it was going to hurt his senses if he smelled it for too long. Besides...he wasn't going to listen to her suggestion anyways.

"I hope you realize that I'm not taking anything you say into consideration. Remember, you're the one calling me master, which makes you the slave." He told her finally as he moved in close to her, pressing himself up against her. Thankfully she was pretty much suspended between the two pillars, allowing him access to her front or her side, with her arms splayed upwards and her legs splayed somewhat outwards as well. Ah he never could have planned everything to go this smoothly.

One hand was around her waist, his thumb just in the hem of her pants, moving slowly along the waistline as he hummed darkly into her ear. He was thinking, thinking of where to mark the poor girl's flesh for his own pleasure. So many spots...so many choices...One that wouldn't get in the way of a whip or a shackle...one that would be hard to remove by yourself...Ah. The lower lumbar area, near the pelvis and the coccyx. Yes. That would be a perfect spot.

"Now if you move my poppet...this is going to hurt more. So If I were you, I would stand very...very still." He told her as he moved away slightly. The hand that was at the hem of her pants moved around to the back, to pull down the back of her pants slightly. He smirked as he let the dagger press against her soft flesh. Both eyes were looking down as he slowly drew the dagger along her flesh. He moved it slowly, slicing the flesh, letting the blood flow freely. Ah...

"Mm, that is such a sweet smell my dear poppet."  He was done carving his initials into her skin, just two letters: NS.

He wasn't really sure how deep it was, he knew that it would scar at least, even a little bit. He lifted the tip of the dagger to his lips, sucking off the blood. Mmm, he did so love that taste. His hand travelled to her wound, dragging his fingers across and smearing the blood onto his fingers. Like before he lifted the fingers to his mouth, his tongue extending to lick the blood clean from his fingers.

"I might just keep you to drink your blood instead...Nah, that wouldn't be fair to all the lovely orifices you have." He didn't answer her question though as to why he was doing this though, he simply stayed quiet about it, he didn't say a thing to it.

[Rhindeer]

She didn't think he would have liked that idea.

"Then why did you even ask, master?" Niamh managed to demand, summoning up some of her remaining courage even if her eyes were moist and her slightly strained voice shook, because she really was forcing the words out at this point. She had to keep talking. She couldn't break. She was no pushover, she never had been...it was just...she didn't know what to do or what she could do. Goddess, she'd never felt so trapped...but she just had to try and stay calm. If she lost it, it was over. She just had to remember that. Light, this was so hard... "It seems pointless, master, if you're just going to do your own thing anyway, master. Why even bother, master? Why even--"

At that point she cut off with a sharp gasp, almost a yelp, as he pressed against her, her blood going cold and body going stiff, her blue eyes widening. For a moment she didn't even know how to react, breath catching in her throat which had tightened almost painfully. And then his hand was at her waist, thumb just inside the hem of her breeches, and the panic suddenly took hold as she felt his thumb moving against her skin. She jerked her body forward as much as she could, desperately trying to move away from him. She didn't like him being that close, didn't like him touching her. Oh Goddess, oh Goddess...all this time she had been walking a very fine line between calm, rational thinking and outright panic, wavering over the line onto either side now and then, but now it all finally sank in as he hummed into her ear, as she thrashed as much as her bindings would allow, not that she could move much at all with the way she was bound. Oh Goddess, oh Goddess...

"Nexus...please don't..." Niamh hardly heard a word of what he was saying, just something about it hurting if she moved, but she couldn't help but move as his hand went to her back and started to pull the back of her pants down some. No, no, no...her skin crawled and she tried to jerk to the side a bit, to shake him off, and then she finally did yelp when she felt the dagger there, felt it begin to cut. Ah! Bastard! Bastard! She jerked forward at the pain, wincing and biting down on her lip, and the tears that she had managed to hold back up until now finally began to fall. It wasn't so much that it hurt...it did, yes. A lot, too, and he was cutting so slowly. But she was used to pain to some extent, having grown up as an active child who was also a clutz; she'd felt worse...broken arms hurt far worse. No, it was just the helplessness she felt...that someone else was doing this to her, that she couldn't stop it for once, that she couldn't move...

That he was enjoying this so much, licking her blood from the knife when it was over, running his fingers over the throbbing, stinging wound after so he could lick up more of her blood, which she could feel trickling down her skin...she flinched at his touch and drew a shuddering breath, shoulders shaking and head lowered so he couldn't see her face. Stop it, stop it, stop it...

And what he said next made her jerk her head back up. Keep her? Drink her blood? Orifices? Oh no...no, no, no...she shook her head, swallowing back a sob so that it turned into a hiccup. Oh no...think Niamh...stop it, Niamh...stop panicking and think! Use your damned head!

She clenched her eyes shut, more tears escaping from beneath her eyelids, and let her body slump defeatedly, this time not even attempting to hold in the sob that racked her. She really was exhausted. There was no acting there. Emotionally and physically she was spent. This whole thing had done a nuber on her mind, and her body? Well, all that struggling and those two shocks were certainly taxing. "Oh fine...go...go ahead...my fluids are bad, any...anyway..." she said softly, shuddering on another sob. "I don't care anymore...y-you're just gonna do what you want anyway...you're just gonna keep hunting me...so drink up...at least then I know you'll get what I have...Light, why are you doing this...?" she asked, still softly crying.

That was a blatant lie. There was nothing wrong with her blood. But already she was formulating a story in her head, just in case that made him curious as to what she was going on about. It was worth a try.

She would try anything at this point.

[Anonymous]

"Because I wanted to see if you learnt anything." Nexus told her with a gentle shrugging of his shoulders. Ah he did so love to be a jerk, he couldn't really be sure why. He noted the strain in her voice, but she was smart still and said master, that was always good. She hadn't been broken yet...he would know. A person who was forced to call a person master would stop such actions when they were broken, when they gave up. That is what he wanted to hear. When she didn't call him master.

He was getting a little excited as she tried to escape him, his touch, the pain as the dagger had slid across her skin. He had to keep himself calm, after all...he had days. He wanted this to last, just as all his sessions did. Nexus needed it to last, or else he would feel like it had been all for nothing. He did like it when she started crying, tears streaming down her face. He was going to be strong however this time, he didn't care if she was crying anymore. It didn't matter to him.

His knife went away, back into the satchel to disappear for the time being. All he had to do now was to enjoy some other things like whipping her and the like. He was going to draw more fluids, whether it was to be blood, tears, or some rather sweet juices he didn't care. However, something was strange however, she was speaking again. Her fluids were bad were they?

"I'm not sure I told you this my dear but I can't be poisoned. I can't be given a disease, and I can't get sick." Nexus told her with a chuckle. He'd eaten things that had some very bad blood, and some very bad poisons to them. He had been completely unharmed, didn't even get a sniffle or a teary eye. However, he decided to indulge her slightly into his reasoning.

He stalked around the pillars to get the torch. He grabbed it once more, sauntering over to her and coming to stop five feet in front of her. He reached with his free hand to his coat and shirt collars, pulling them away to show the strange cruel marks upon his neck. The skin was scarred and seemed as if it had been chaffed and burned by a rope of some sort.

"This is why. Look upon it, and that's all you know for now. Maybe if you're a nice little girl I'll tell you more." Nexus explained as he let his collar go back up to his neck, hiding the painful scar. The torch was tossed away, clattering behind him to roughly the same place as before.

"You shouldn't concern yourself with why either...You should concern yourself with ending those sentences with master." Maybe he was going to force her to say that word until it literally meant nothing. He didn't care at this point. He had to get revenge upon her, he had to torture her and make her into a mindless being. He began to create something between his hands, a black whip, one with a slightly barbed tip. Nexus wanted it to hurt when it was dragged along that flesh of hers. He wanted the whip to cause her stinging pain whenever it raked across her flesh.

He kept it coiled as he started his way around her once more to get to her backside. He knew his skill with the whip was rather good, and he wondered if he good make a large letter N on her back with it. He'd just have to try and find out wouldn't he? The whip uncoiled in his hand and he grasped it carefully. Then he cracked the whip once, not at her yet, only to make the noise to see hear the noise. Ahh, he did so love that noise...it was such a great sound in his ears.

"Now, every time the whip cracks along your body, I want you to count. Who knows, you might get let out for good behaviour." Nexus told her as let the whip fall to his side for a moment before he cracked the whip. This time it was right at her, to bright it down in a vertical line across her back. Oh he couldn't wait to have the smell of more blood in the air. Mm...that might drive him wild.

[Rhindeer]

Niamh actually stared at Nexus, her sobs quieting for a moment in her surprise, though tears still dripped off her chin. What? Well, scratch that plan. He couldn't get poisoned or catch diseases or even get sick? Dammit. There went that bluff...

Still Niamh remained slumped where she was, biting down on her bottom lip to keep from cursing out loud. Great. Just great. She didn't know what else to do then...pretending to be diseased seemed to be a good option, a good last ditch effort since the effects of a disease couldn't always be seen and a person could look perfectly healthy even while carrying something deadly. But that had just been dashed away...pretending to give up hadn't worked, fighting back hadn't worked, crying hadn't worked...Goddess, nothing was working! And he was definitely taking this a lot further than before...he hadn't drawn blood that other time, not with a knife at least, her falling on her own didn't count. He had mostly been all talk...but now he was acting. Her lower back stung beneath her breeches, blood sticking to the fabric, and...she didn't know anymore. He wasn't listening to her this time. Last time, a few times she'd thought she'd seen him look at her with concern almost. But this time...

Nothing. No emotion. Just...enjoyment.

Niamh didn't know what to say after that. She could only watch him as he retrieved the torch, glad for the light, and she sniffled a little, still trembling as she fought to control her sobs, and she blinked a little to clear her vision when he returned and pulled his collar down, revealing a hideous scar. And...and that was supposed to explain why he was doing this to her...?

It made no damned sense!

"...W-what? I...I didn't give you that scar!" she said, straightening a little and shaking her head to toss the bangs out of her face, though her hair was sticking slightly where her cheeks were damp with tears. "That makes no sense...you...you're doing this because...because of something I didn't do..." Ah damn, she wished whoever had attempted that hadn't botched the job, though. And don't concern herself with why? Knowing why was important, though! She wanted to know why he seemed so obsessed with her, why he was threatening her, why he was keeping her here as his prisoner, why...just...why! It was better to have a reasoning behind it than to just be...hurt for no reason, just because someone feels like it. Well, not really better, but just...not so pointless. If she knew why, his reasoning behind it, maybe she could think of a way to get him to stop.

...And then it suddenly hit her.

Oh no...

It might be that <I>she didn't do it. But that one of the other Lumenari had, somewhere in the past. So now he was punishing her for it. That's why he had been stalking her. Why he had been so obsessed with asking her about her faith, questioning her, why he asked her all those questions. The Lumenari were responsible. And now...

She listened to what he said next in a slight daze, her pulse quickening and breath coming in soft, shuddering pants. That was what this was about. It made sense...oh Goddess of Light...

She was gonna die. He was gonna torture her.

Nexus brought out the whip, and panic gripped Niamh. She began to struggle more, her efforts weaker from exhaustion and the ropes chaffing her skin, but she didn't care. Her struggles redoubled when he walked around her, disappearing behind her and out of her line of vision. "Nexus..." she began, throat choked with sobs again as she didn't even try to repress them. And then the whip cracked somewhere behind her and she screeched and flinched, eyes clenching shut. It didn't hit her, though...but the sound took her off guard, and she shivered uncontrollably. Oh Goddess...oh Goddess...even as he spoke she was apologizing, only catching bits and pieces of what he said, just enough to know what he said. "Nexus...please, I'm sorry...Goddess...I'm so sorry for what they did to you..."

And then the whip cracked again, but this time she felt it score along her back, something sharp raking across her back, which exploded in pain. A sharp cry left her, cut off short by her raw sobs, and she thrashed all the more. But she wasn't done talking. No, she just wanted him to stop, whatever it took, she just wanted him to stop. "O-one..." she managed to choke out, coughing, her voice growing hoarse from crying. Light, how many times was he going to hit her?! In any case, she was going to count. He was probably lying again, but she had to grasp at any chance she was offered, even if it was fake. "Please...stop...Nexus...I...I don't know who did that...which band...but...but I'm sorry...I apologize for them...on their behalf...please Nexus...please don't...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

Had their last encounter shaken her faith? Well, this was an obvious answer: yes. He had certainly shaken her faith enough for her to apologize to a heathen for something she thought her organization did but that she didn't personally do. Something that would be perfectly right and good and honorable by her faith...

[Anonymous]

She didn't seem to like the fact he couldn't get poisoned. He didn't know if it was a bluff or a truth at this point, nor did he care. All he knew is that she hated him for it, and it made him feel really nice to say the least. That probably help to mostly improve his mood to some small degree.

Oddly, he wondered what moved through her mind at this time, after he had cut her, shown her the scars around his neck, and threatened her with things worse then death. Oh he wished he were a telepath at this point. Too bad for him really...though he was smiling for most of the time. He even liked it for the fact that she was having a hard time figuring everything out. No, it was true, she didn't do this to him...not her personally. She was innocent, she had just been arrogant at the wrong time and place. She had asserted her dominance in Ketra, which drove him to want to train her, to tame her, and to break her...He wanted to make her...his, to have her fear something. It was working. Oh how it was working. So what if he enjoyed it though, that was just a perk right?

Nexus noted her breath had become stranger, ragged and short...he hadn't a clue what it meant at this point, but it really didn't matter to him.

"For...what they did to me?" He asked her with a small chuckle. She thought that a bunch of people had done something to him? Oh that was classic...that was oh so classic. He just smiled as he gripped the whip tighter. His fist was shaking as he looked down to it, then both eyes looked up to her back. She had said one...that was good indeed. He was rather proud of it.

"I was...I was so young. I fell in love with a young Drow woman." He watched her carefully before he snapped the whip across her back once more, more of a diagonal line. The whip crack made his whole being shiver in anticipation.

"Your people didn't do anything. She did. Eighteen years old...and I was sure I was in love. However...she betrayed me. She hung me in a tree with a rope that wouldn't let me die. Oh no. I stayed on the brink of death for THREE DAYS. Three whole days. The noose tore my neck, as it was inlaid with sharp metal spikes. However I couldn't die." Nexus told her as he slashed the whip again with a loud cracking noise. It was another vertical line. There, a large letter N now lay in her back.

"She tortured me, pained me, hurt me, broke me...I vowed never again..." He coiled the whip up and moved forward to her, dropping the whip to the floor. He was behind her again, pressing up against her, his arm around her waist again, his chin upon her shoulder with his lips near her ears.

"Then I saw you when I came here. You were so arrogant...so strong...so brave...I knew I had to have you. I had to break you..." Nexus was slightly obsessed and slightly insane to say the least. His motives were revenge, and devotion to his Goddess.

"My life has been about three things...self indulgence, righting wrongs, and wronging false rights. Every time I fulfil another duty...I'm allowed to indulge my perverse ways. Well, I've been saving my time now, allowing my indulgences to go unheeded for the time being..." His voice was whisper quiet as he spoke into her ear, explaining a bit of his life to her, and his reasons. Nexus decided it was about time to tell her some things. After all, he got to whip her and was going to have a lot of fun with her, this would somewhat help her.

His free hand came up to her face, to slowly feel along her cheek, along the tears, wiping them away as best he could. He felt a little sorry for her but...he was going to enjoy her no matter how he felt.

"Do you understand...?"

[Rhindeer]

Her next opportunity presented itself soon enough.

Nexus started to talk about himself.

It may not have seemed like much of an opportunity at all, but Niamh grasped desperately at it. If he talked about himself, shared his reasonings...she could do something with it, it would give her some power over him, maybe...just maybe. She could try and empathize and, in turn, maybe get him to empathize with her. If she could find something they had in common, something she could relate to and that he could also relate back to in turn, she might have a chance. Back stinging horribly, she did her best to listen even as she cried, even though her mind was wild with panic. She had to calm down...if she played the game right...Light, this could very well be her last chance...she was exhausted as it was, it was hard to think...

"A...a d-drow...?" she choked out, then cried out loudly again as the whip snapped against her skin for a second time, her back arching as though to try and bend away from the whip that sliced through her skin. Another sob racked her body, shoulders convulsing, and her body slumped again as her new wounds stung and throbbed and warm blood trickled free to stain the back of her ripped shirt and breeches. For a moment she couldn't speak, but she finally managed to find her voice, to work moisture back into her mouth, and she did her best to ignore the nauseous feeling in her stomach. "...T-two..." Only two...ah! No, think, go back to thinking. Drow...drow woman...she had to remember that detail. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, gasping for air as she listened to him continue, muscles taut as she waited for more blows. Drow woman...he was in love..betrayed...gave him that scar...he was eighteen...eighteen when it happened...okay, they had two things in common...she could use this, she could--

Another scream tore free as she was struck a third time, and once again she slumped and panted when it was over, hanging her head and letting the ropes support her completely, wrists aching. "...Th...three..." Niamh couldn't see the design he'd made, but for now she didn't care. She fought to clear her mind, even though it was foggy with fear, and listened as he continued. She'd let him speak without interrupting...she needed to hear his story, all of it, so she could know where to go, what to say, even as she waited queasily for the next blow.

Which didn't come.

Instead, she heard something drop to the floor and then he was against her again, holding her from behind as her back ached and burned all the more from the contact, and her body went rigid, a shiver running up and down her spine as he rested his chin on her shoulder and spoke into her ear. Keep calm...keep your head...just listen to him. He wanted to break her for being strong...? Light, he was insane...no! Just listen...don't think about how close he is, about...about everything. But it was hard when all she wanted to do was just scream or close her eyes and have everything just...go away.

Indulgances...oh great...so he was holding out and now he was just going to take it all out  on her? Just bloody--no, don't panic! She inhaled raggedly as he touched her cheek, closing her eyes tightly as he wiped away the tears, but more tears would only replace them soon enough.

And then it finally came. Her chance to speak.

"I...I do understand..." she said quietly, eyes still tightly closed. She didn't want to look at him, couldn't bring herself to. But what she was about to say, what she had formulated in her head based on the details he had given...well, they oddly weren't lies at all.

Which she might have preferred. Yet this was also better, because if she was lying, there was always the chance that he could tell. And if she had to lie, she had to make things up, which always took longer anyway. No, oddly enough, this came naturally. It just made sense.

"I also see th-that...We...we're a lot...a lot alike, then...aren't we, Nexus...?" Niamh asked quietly, drawing another trembling breath. She hadn't liked that part at all, saying they were alike. They weren't really, no, they weren't alike at all. But some of their circumstances were, there was no doubting that. "I...I don't like drow, either...they...they're bad...can't be trusted..I'm not surprised that...that you'd get backstabbed..." Another deep breath, and a soft hiccup as she repressed another sob stubbornly. She turned her head away from him, fists clenched above her head. "I'm eighteen now...and...and you're...you're hurting me...just like she did to you...when you were eighteen...you were strong then, too...and she...tried to break you, too...like you're trying to break me...for being strong..."

She swallowed, blinking back tears. "Will you...will you do it for three days, too...? Like she did to you? So you can...so you can be just like her...? Like the one you hate..."

Finally, even though his touch made her uneasy, made her sick and afraid, she allowed herself to slump again, muscles loosening. "I'm sorry..."

[Anonymous]

Nexus knew the one thing he shouldn't have done was open his mouth. He never should have given this woman the opportunity to know about himself. He should have kept his mouth shut and just said nothing, just continued to whip her and then take pleasure in her body. That's what he SHOULD have done...instead...he decided to talk, to let her know why he was this way. It was probably the worst thing he could have done.

He did like the fact that she was flinching, that always was a bonus. She even seemed to shiver, that had just been nice. To feel her entire body become racked with disgust from his touch perhaps? That could have been it indeed...Whatever it was...it was quite quite nice.

"That's good. I knew I had picked a smart one." Nexus commented quietly. His eyes stared straight ahead toward the torch light, something they could just barely see at this point. He shouldn't listen to her...shouldn't hear what she had to say, but then she opened her mouth and spoke, which got his attention.

"Excuse me?"

He decided to listen to her reasoning. Hm...He didn't mind Drow anymore, the incident had occurred many centuries ago but...then again, here he was with a woman tied up in a warehouse whipping and carving his initials into her skin. Maybe he disliked the Drow more than he knew? It was hard to say. He kept listening to her, and what she said finally...made him gasp as his presence from hugging her body was gone.

He had moved away from her, taken a step back from her as his arms crossed. Holy Vec...she was right. Was he no better than the Drow then...? Possibly. He came to move around the front of her again, to look her in the face instead. She even apologized to him. He thought about letting her go, cutting those bindings, and even offering aid to her...

"Touching. Very touching Niamh...You know a young girl tried this sort of thing before on me too. Actually she was about nineteen by Drow standards too. Said that I was no better than her." Slowly he lifted up his shirt, to show her a scar on his abdomen, on the left side of his rib cage.

"That's what happened when I showed weakness for her. She stabbed me good in the side. After that I tortured her and killed her, then my friend Carthax resurrected her and we made her body do many horrible things. Carthax even did a few interesting acts to the body as well." Nexus let go of his shirt, letting it fall down back to his waist. Ah, Carthax always was the strong one.

Slowly though Nexus sat down, his arms crossed as he watched her. To show compassion for her...or to continue with his original plan. It was hard to say...very hard to say indeed.

"If I let you go...in two days time I'll come looking for you. I don't know why, but I will. I'll hunt you down, and I'll fight my way through whatever guards you may have. Why? I can't say. I just know I will. I'll hound your every step...be in every shadow, amongst every crowd you see..." Nexus told her calmly, his eyes now fixed upon her body, examining her from this angle now. He should just get it all over with, all this frustration, all the pent up anger...as well as some other pent up emotions.

"There would be no where you can hide from me. I'll find you. You'll grow old...but I won't. Eventually you'll slip up. I think it's best that this happens now, while your still young and able to take such punishment." Had her words gone unheeded in his mind? Perhaps...but actually...he was stalling for time, until he could think of what he wanted to do about her.

Nexus only wished he could figure out why he hated her so much, and yet...why he couldn't leave her be. That strong will of hers did have something to do with it yes but...there were other things. He wasn't torturing her...he was molding her into something new. Something he could use, something he might actually want. The only trouble was that pesky mortality part. He didn't much like the idea of her growing old, no, that thought frightened him a little bit.

"I wonder how to turn a human into an immortal." He spoke out loud as he watched Niamh carefully, thoughts running through his mind. Ah if Carthax was here, making her into an Undead would be a snap. However, he didn't have Carthax here...so he would have to look into a different matter. He needed more time...

[Rhindeer]

Niamh hadn't actually expected that to work. Nothing else had worked so far, so why should that? She was basically just grasping at straws at this point...but apparently that one straw had solid ground beneath it. Or something like that.

He actually listened to her as she spoke, or he was at least quiet throughout it, and then when he suddenly gasped and pulled away (much to her relief), she knew he'd heard everything and that it had impacted him to some degree--though she had no idea if it was for the better or for the worse, all she knew was that it was a reaction. After all, she was still treading on very instable ground, and one wrong move would mean the end. So all she could do was wait, tensing up again. She may have said the wrong thing...she may have pissed him off by saying that and then the situation would be only worse in that case, not that it could get much worse as it was. He already seemed bent on doing things to her. But still, there was always that possibility that she'd gotten through to him. Maybe.

A maybe was better than a definite no, though, and she was actually so surprised by this turn of events that her sobs quieted a bit, even though she was still shaking, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

Ahaha...right, she was praying that she'd gotten through to a psychopathic heathen. That was rich.

Finally, though, Nexus came around to stand before her instead of behind her, which was also something of a relief because the light in the room seemed to have gotten dimmer and the combination of the darkness and him being out of her line of sight was just...nerve-wracking. Taking a deep breath and biting her lip to stiffle her crying, she raised her eyes just a little to look up at him before looking away again. She couldn't read his expression in the faint light, didn't know if she had made a good move or a bad one yet, and the anticipation was always the worst. Her heart hammered away in her chest as she waited, praying silently and deseperately for strength and guidance...and hoping that she hadn't been deserted for what she was now doing, and for what she was about to do if this worked.

Finally, though, Nexus spoke.

And what he said made bile rise in her throat, though she quickly swallowed it back. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap...she'd said the wrong thing...the drow woman had done the same thing...she was dead, it was over, he was probably pissed now! She watched in horror as he lifted his shirt to show off the scar, eyes widening, but she quickly took another trembling breath and bit back the panic. Talk!

"Is...is it so surprising that she stabbed you?" she said, working to steady her voice as she looked at the scar. But only a little. She didn't want to sound too "strong" since that seemed to be part of his obsession, to break her. She shook her head, blinking to try and clear her vision. "She's a drow...and she deserved that..." No, Niamh didn't have any love for drow. But at the same time, she really did want to ask Nexus what he'd expected. He had tortured the drow woman, hadn't he? So was he really so surprised that she'd stabbed him afterward? Had he really expected her to just go off on her merry way like nothing had happened? Light, but she fantasized about stabbing the man once she was free!

Of course, she said nothing of that. She had to keep walking that fine line, had to keep sympathizing with him. "But Nexus...I'm not a drow, and...and I can't hurt you...you have my weapons..." And then, just for him, just to try and seem even weaker, she swallowed some of her pride and added in with a low, shuddering sigh, "And...and even if I did...you're still stronger...you still have your ropes...you can still...Light, Nexus, you've caught me twice...I can't...I..." Another shudder, and more tears blinked free. Thank Goddess she really was scared; she wasn't like those women that could produce tears at will!

Hopefully this was still working. Nexus was at least no longer whipping her, or threatening her. Instead, he was sitting down in front of her now, seeming somehow less threatening that way. But still Niamh was praying in her mind. Let this work...

A small spark of hope came and went just like that as he spoke. If he let her go...he seemed to be considering it for a moment, seemed to be--and there it went, hope was once again extinguished. If he let her go he'd just stalk her. Again. Even when she got old. Even if she was around a lot of people. Good Goddess, what was wrong with him? Why her? She'd only met him that one time when he'd gone psycho on her and now he was going to commit himself to hounding her for the rest of her life?! It was like something out of a really fucked up nightmare...but the constant pain in her back, the feel of blood drying and crusting along her skin, told her this was all too real.

It still felt surreal, though. Kind of. Just...things like this didn't happen to her.

And punishment? For what?! She'd never done anything to him! She'd only been trying to get away from him!

This was insane...ah...maybe she really was being punished for something...maybe she'd done something horrible in another life and was being punished for it now...

Dammit...

And his talk of immortals and mortals...oh Goddess, what was he planning...?

Augh! No time to worry. She had to just keep talking, had to figure out how she could play him. Light she'd sunk low over the past few weeks...she was trying to bargain with a heathen. But...but hopefully Mother Sun would understand. She was no use to Her dead, after all. Right? In any case, she'd be sure to atone for this afterwards--not to mention she'd never speak a word of it to anyone else.

"Ah...I...I see...alright, then...don't let me go..." Niamh could hardly believe she was saying that, but she did, even if she wanted nothing more than to be let go, even if she was more than willing to take her chances and be stalked by him two days later. Maybe he was bluffing. But in any case, he wouldn't be able to deal with all the Lumenari...would he? Still, be this as it may, she also knew that if she begged to be released, his ears would close to her immedietely. He wouldn't listen to her. To him, she'd probably be just like that drow woman if she did that, and then she'd lose any sympathy she might have gained.

She was hoping she'd gained some sympathy.

"Like you said...you'll just follow me if you do..." But she also didn't want to sound too much like she was pulling a bad attempt at reverse psychology. "Nexus, I want to be free...I want to go home so badly...that's all I want now...I don't want to hurt you, I just wanna go home...but...but not if it means being scared for the rest of my life..." She swallowed, buying some time so she could think of where she was going with this, carefully planning her words. "I...I didn't hurt you, Nexus...the other woman did...I don't understand why you're punishing me for what someone else did...you don't understand why you'd follow me...so..."

Niamh lowered her head a little, staring down at the ground before closing her eyes again, eyelashes spiked together with moisture. It was the best sort of bow she could manage bound up as she was. "Please...please don't hurt me until you at least know why you're doing all this...please...then...if you figure it out...and if I'm deserving...well...then I guess I'll deserve it..."

Actually, she wanted to ask him not to hurt her at all, but again she didn't think that would go over well. Besides, if this worked the way she was going for...she could maybe start to earn his trust. Hopefully it would take him a while to figure out why. And hopefully by then he wouldn't want to hurt her anymore. She'd already gotten him to stop. He was listening now. She'd already made her way past some of his defenses it seemed. She just had to keep going.

All assuming this even worked. All assuming he even listened to begin with.

[Anonymous]

As Nexus sat there he began to think hard, running through his memories. His parents had never loved him...they treated him as dirt, like he was nothing, a child unwanted. His life after that hadn't been too great either...Not until he had met Carthax of course. Nexus would admit that Carthax and he had spent some time together in a more romantic way, but hadn't gotten into it too much before...well the Drow woman had come along. Then after that they started to drift away, which got to a problem. Nexus had been surprised she had spoken to him afterwards, after he showed her the wound as well.

Was he surprised the Drow woman had stabbed him? Yes. Very much so. He had been young, in love, and thought she loved him back. That wasn't really the case, she had simply used him and then...tried to kill him. He smirked when she said the Drow deserved it, which she did for that matter. He smirk turned to a smile as he looked downwards to the ground, his eyes closing. That did nothing. He could still see. He didn't want to even get into his mind either, he knew that it would hold no refuge for him.

"You've power. You've got lots of power though. Lots of powerful friends, and entire group of people devoted. If I were to let you go, you'd go back to them, and they would find out. Then they would be after me...and I might be in trouble. I can take on a few, but an entire religion would be a problem. That and who knows if your Goddess is real, and she might take revenge on me..." Nexus shook his head. No. He couldn't let her go now, not after all this...it would be bad. Very bad. He might end up with a lot more trouble than he wanted.

"Don't let you go? Well, alright, I can handle not letting you go then." Well that settled it didn't it? She didn't want to be let go. he almost believed that he had done something right and broken her. Of course that didn't seem to be the case did it, after she spoke once more and he shook his head.

"Why let you go and be free when you're here already? Too much trouble of letting you go just to capture you again." Slowly Nexus got to his feet and watched her darkly, a scowl coming to his face as he watched her.

"Don't lie to me either. I know you want to hurt me. I know you'd love to just carve my flesh up, beat me, drag me behind horses, throw me off a cliff, that sort of thing. Don't ever lie to me!" Nexus hated it when people told bold faced lies, right at him to. He couldn't...bring himself to let her go this time...or could he? Nexus wasn't sure what he wanted to do, or how to go about it. Part of him wanted to let her go...while the other part wanted her here, wanted her to stay where she was.

"Part of my problem is no one really likes me you know. I have...three true friends. One of them I've known since I was young...the other two are just like me...cursed...not as sadistic as I but...they are like me. The only way for me to have people like me is to break their minds and will, to make them into slaves. Their minds so twisted and changed that they see me as the only person who will look after them, and who will...like them. " Nexus reached his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it slowly. Yes. That was the only way. He had tried normal courtship...a few times...and with disastrous results.

"No, you didn't hurt me Niamh. I've been the only one to hurt someone...you...and I can't stop. I've got to make you mine. I don't know why. I have to though. It's the only way. You don't deserve it but...I have to." Nexus said to her as he approached, his hand going to her cheek and he smiled, his eyes looking a little crazy as he watched her carefully. Nexus wasn't really insane...just he had been alone and used to his dominant will for so long he couldn't...really do anything else. He was in...well a rut to say the least.

He kept his hand on her cheek, his eyes closed now. Gods. This was the worst decision ever wasn't it? He had to choose between breaking the woman's will, spirit, and mind...and just letting her go free. That second option did not apply though...No...If he let her go, who knows what would happen.

"Hm, if I let you go Niamh, you have to wonder. What would happen to the next girl? What if I let you go, and that was it? I just moved on to a new person. What would happen to her? I bet you could live with that on your shoulders and conscience. After all, it's not like your the one whipping her, cutting her, burning her. No. You'd be safe. Who knows, she'd probably be a heathen. It's alright to hurt heathens isn't it?" He wanted to know her honest opinion on that. Nexus needed to know...because his actions were probably going to be decided that. Probably.

[Rhindeer]

He thought she had power, and all while she felt so damned powerless. But...was he seriously afraid of her group? Her people? For some reason, Niamh liked hearing that. It didn't exactly make her feel empowered because that was kind of hard to feel when you were scared to tears and strung up with a back that was bleeding because you'd just been whipped and carved into, and all after being shocked and threatened and dragged around. No...it was just that he admitted that her religion wa powerful, and he was afraid of her Goddess' power. That was slightly comforting; it made her feel like Mother Sun was still with her, even in this dark place. She was still protecting her. She hadn't abandoned her. Especially not when this heathen was obviously wary of Her.

But she didn't say anything, and no expression flickered across her face. Her head was still bowed, bangs in her tear-stained face. She had expected him to say he wouldn't let her go, though. After all, he'd already made it clear that he planned on stalking her and...and who knew what. But it wasn't over yet. It really wasn't. So far, everything was still going as planned, not that she had much of a plan at all. Niamh was making it all up as she went and just praying to Mother Sun that it worked.

When she finally opened her eyes again and looked up, Nexus was rising to his feet, and she jerked a little when she saw the dark look that had settled across his face. Her heart leaped into her throat. She'd said something wrong...she'd blown it...and that became clear when he started to speak. Niamh flinched and shied back away from him as much as the ropes would allow, pulse pounding in her ears. Oh no...oh no...he'd caught the lie...and it was true, she did want to hurt him...but...but she couldn't be honest about that, either! Like that would go over! She shook her head quickly, averting her eyes, and spoke up quickly, desperately. "I-I'm sorry Nexus...I won't do it again, I'm sorry...!"

She really thought she'd blown what might have been a rare chance...but then he continued talking.

And telling her more about himself.

Maybe the stress and exhaustion was kicking it yet again, but she suddenly had the overwhelming urge to laugh, nervously at that but still laughter. But the urge quickly passed because, well, that also wouldn't go over well she didn't think. No one liked him...ahah...she lowered her head again, hiding her face behind her hair. Wow. Did he...did he seriously not know the reason no one liked him?! Ah, maybe that whole torturing and threatening and breaking and enslaving and stalking people thing had something to do with it! Maybe just a little!

Niamh looked up again when she heard him approach her, and when he touched her cheek again, it took all her willpower to keep from pulling sharply away. Instead, she tensed and stubbornly forced herself to remain still, even though his touch made her skin crawl, even though she hated it, didn't want to be touched by him. She met his eyes briefly before she had to look away again, not liking his expression. But she was still all the same, her mind working quickly. No one liked him...for obvious reasons. But it bothered him. Okay. She could work with this. And part of working with it would be to not act repulsed even though she wanted to. It took a lot of self control, but she supposed it helped that she was tired. She just didn't really have the energy to struggle anymore.

"Nexus...maybe...maybe people would like you if you...you know...didn't try and hurt them..." Niamh said quietly, trying to block out the other things he had said, about having to hurt her, about making her his. He was so crazy...Goddess she was in a mess... "I mean...a slave isn't really a friend...it's mindless...has no choice. A friend is...well...someone who wants to be with you...right...? I mean...having slaves...it can't be too satisfying..." She was pretty proud of how calm she sounded now, somehow managing to push the sense of claustrophobia, disgust, and pain towards the back of her mind for now as she focused on her new mission. It was still there, looming over her, but she wasn't panicking anymore.

She had something to focus on now.

"Nexus...if you promise not to hurt me...I can try and be your friend...but I can't if you hurt me...I can't like you if you threaten me...people can't like people that they're afraid of...it doesn't work that way..." She drew in a deep breath. "But you...you have to be nice..." She didn't think that would work, but it was worth a shot. If he was lonely...it couldn't hurt to play into that. "I mean...you're not going to let me go...right? If...if that's the case...if this is what I'm going to have to live with...I...well...I would at least like to get to know you...and I would rather not be a slave..." It would be hard to escape if she was badly hurt and kept tied up like this. And she really wanted desperately to be untied. She had to keep relating to him and just, well...playing the game. That was all this was. A game. A deadly game.

And then came something she dreaded.

He was trying to toy with her conscience...but...it was a valid point. Goddess...she would have to find a way to stop him. To gain his trust and, well...before she escaped, she would have to be sure that he wouldn't be able to stalk her again, or stalk anyone else. She couldn't wish that fate on anyone, and she didn't think she'd be able to sleep easy knowing he could still be out there. But as to that question...

That...was a loaded question if there ever was one. Crap. He was a heathen, after all. Yet...well...strangely enough it was a question that she could answer honestly, now that she thought about it...

And that fact scared her even more. Goddess forgive her for what she was about to say.

"No..." she began slowly, voice a little hoarse. "It's...no, it's not okay to hurt anyone...sometimes it's necessary...but...but no...I don't think it's okay..." And then she gave a convulsive shudder and jerked her head away from his hand, closing her eyes tight. She was trying not to cry again, and honestly, it was annoying her a bit. She never cried usually, but with the situation she was in, could she really be blamed for it? In any case, it was starting to give her a lovely sinus headache that could join all the other aches and pains and stinging wounds she had on her now. And it was making her even more drained. She could have probably passed out and slept solidly at this point--if she wouldn't also be afraid of sleeping.

"I've really sunk low...no, Nexus...it's not okay...I...oh Goddess. Nexus...we...we would threaten some of the heathens this way...like...like what you've done to me...I saw it when it was actually carried out. I never did it...I only helped fight when we were attacked. I'm still new to the group...so I wouldn't be involved in that...but...I was still there, and...and I didn't care...they were heathens, we gave them their chance...but..." She shook her head and exhaled loudly. "I couldn't do that again...I couldn't watch it...not after...not after actually feeling it..."

It was a painful and humbling thing to confess. She'd never had much empathy before for heathens. She pitied them and felt sorry for them, yes, but when they rejected Mother Sun, well, they dug their own graves as far as she had been concerned. But now...no, she could never watch a heathen getting whipped again, or anything like that; she didn't think she could be a part of that anymore. Not after finding out just what that felt like, the terror, pain, humilation, and helplessness...seeing that would only make her remember everything again. Maybe she'd just had it easy all her life, raised proud and rather spoiled as a pretty only child that had been doted on by her parents. As a result, she'd always been arrogant, and it didn't help her ego that she had been born with such a pale complexion, something that was highly valued in her culture, something she had always been praised for.

That hadn't changed much. She was still proud. But...this had also humbled her. It was hard to feel superior when you were at someone else's mercy and were basically begging to be spared.

"I couldn't wish this on the lowliest heathen..."

[Anonymous]

Nexus didn't truly fear Niamh. He feared her organization and what they held. If she had just been a simple woman, without the backing of an entire cult, he wouldn't be afraid, but he was. There was no telling what they might do, and no idea whether the Goddess was real or not. Still, he hadn't seen hide nor hair of any God or Goddess in this realm, so he was starting to believe that he was safe for the time being. That helped to bolster his confidence a little bit.

He was rather pleased with the fact that she was truly afraid of him, afraid of what he might do to her. It was nice to see her flinch, to try and escape his gaze, and the scared apology. Made him feel strong, powerful, in control of the situation. Nexus knew there was a power struggle at this point, she was trying to do something, whether it be lull him into a false sense of security, or to get him to stop his ways. He however, wanted the exact opposite, he wanted to continue, wanted to keep doing what he was doing.

He knew her ultimate goal was to escape from this place, away from him.

After his hand touched her cheek, he could feel the tension, her body seizing up. Not from fear. He knew what it a body felt like when it stopped moving out of fear. This was something different but completely familiar. It was disgust. Something he was quite used to wherever he went. People expected him to be like this, after all, he was cursed. So he had slipped into a mindset, instead of being nice, he might as well be how they want him to be.

"Really? I never would have guessed that much Niamh, thank you." His tone was scathing and mocking as he watched her, his eyes glaring just slightly at her. "Only one man wanted to truly be around me. Only because he was just as sick and twisted as I am. No person would want to hang around me. I'm a degraded filthy excuse for a conscious being. I love it too. I love pain, I love watching people in pain. I love the feel of a whip as it cracks through the air. The smell of blood seeping from a new wound. The screams of pain as they echo from the mouth." Nexus shuddered at that point, from excitement more than anything. Ah it felt good to have all those things happen...really it did....

"A slave is the only type of person who can handle such things. Some willingly, some not so much." He actually enjoyed this. Enjoyed listening to her try to bargain, try to change his mind, try to alter him even though she was the one all tied up. Someone had said that the master was never in control, but the slave. Nexus made sure he was always in control, even when it didn't really seem like it.

"I can't make that promise Niamh. You know I can't." Nexus told her, avoiding his gaze. He couldn't promise such a thing, it was against his beliefs really. As psychotic as he may have been, he had beliefs, and he had a religion of sorts too...His dealt with justice however. Funny wasn't it?

"Really...You don't think it's okay?" He couldn't tell if she was lying, as she jerked her head away from his hand. When someone lied there was ways to tell. Heartbeat, muscle responses, pheromones even...but he couldn't tell at this point. She might even have been telling the truth. A bit of a stretch and a surprise really. She continued to talk...continued to speak...and he smirked. She had sunk low? Not in the least to him. Hm, she even said that she wouldn't wish this on the lowliest of heathens.

"You've not sunk low. Blinded perhaps by promises of a Goddess that may not exist...but you've not sunk. Look at me...I'm scum. There isn't anything lower than I. Getting off on hurt, pain, death, torture...enjoying it for that matter. Gods I do so love it. Life dealt a harsh hand to me, so I've dealt that hand back to other people. One thousand four hundred and seventy one years have I done this. I've...tortured so many people...at least more than five hundred. I've lost count. Every time though...it's always there. The excitement...the lust...the power. It never grows old, just like me." He stepped away from her, to sit down once more in front of her. He took his hat off, placing it beside him, undid his coat, letting it fall away behind him to the ground, and then just watched her.

"Tell me about your life growing up. If we're to try a friendship, might as well start with our lives..." Nexus did...want a friend. He wanted someone who wouldn't be repulsed by his touch, maybe even someone he could hold. The appeal was stronger than his desire to hurt at this point. He would hear her out, might even cut her loose...to some degree. He couldn't risk letting her go. No...she was stuck with him now. There was no way for her to escape him.

[Rhindeer]

Well...at least Nexus was honest, she supposed. Oh jeez...he knew he was fucked up. He wasn't one of those crazies that thought they were perfectly normal and just didn't know any better. He knew he was scum. And he liked it. That made this even worse...way, way worse, and Niamh could feel herself growing paler as he spoke. He enjoyed all this way too much, even shuddering...and that made her swallow loudly. What the hell could she say to that?! She couldn't agree with him, that was for certain. She...well...oh Light. How to handle this...praise him for it? What <I>could she do to convince him not to act out his, ah, desires on her? This was hard. She couldn't understand where he was coming from at all...

"O-okay...then...then don't promise anything...I don't need promises, they can be broken, anyway...right?" She really had NO idea what she was saying or trying to do at this point. She was running out of ideas, and it felt like her plan was crumbling fast. "I...I won't ask you to make any promises...okay? I mean...after all...you're the master, I'm the slave..." A weak smile was offered there. "But...can I ask you to please try and hear me out? Humor me a little, give me a chance? Ah...well...it...it might be a fun game for you, too. You like games, right? It...it can be a trial in control, or...or something like that..." Niamh was more than aware of the power struggle that was occuring--Nexus wasn't the only one with a dominant personality, and she had a lot of pride. She sure didn't want to submit, not to anyone, especially not to heathen scum. But bending a little, or at least pretending to bend, was a hell of a lot better than being snapped in two.

Niamh did, however, take offense at what he said soon after. Blinded? Goddess that may not exist? It was he that was blind, filthy heathen! But she bit her tongue; she was in no position to say anything on that matter, not when she was trying to bargain or at least appeal to what empathy he may or may not have. She wanted to agree with him, too...that he was scum, disgusting, lower than low...but again she only listened, even if her stomach began to knot at what he said. He'd...been alive that long and done this that many times...

Light help her...he'd probably heard this same thing that many times at least...he was going to torture her...he probably did the same thing every time...he was probably only humoring her now, toying with her. He probably enjoyed this part, too...he probably knew what she was doing...probably enjoyed listening to the victim try and outwit the "master"...

She closed her eyes again, working to remain calm and strong, to ignore the horrible pain in her back, to ignore how the ropes chaffed, how her arms were getting sore from holding the position for so long, how one hand felt a bit tingly like it was starting to fall asleep. Just stay calm. Even if he was just toying with her, this was all she had left. Giving up would be the worst thing to do, and she'd never been one to give up. Ever. She was a fighter.

Luckily, Nexus spoke up before she had a chance to try and think of something, anything, that she could possibly say to all that. Or, at least, something that wouldn't just come out as a squeak. Five hundred people or more...no, no, don't think about it!

"My...my life...?" Niamh asked, finally opening her eyes again--and she was surprised to find him sitting and, well...looking pretty comfortable, the bastard. Friendship...he...was he going to humor her? She exhaled slowly and said a silent prayer, then moved her eyes to his face, though she was careful to look just a little off to the side. He was something like a feral animal...it was never good to look an animal directly in the eyes.

"Alright..." That she could do. It was easy enough and would be something of a nice distraction. Besides, Nexus, despite what he'd been talking about, hadn't made any other moves to injure her and was currently just sitting there. His gaze was disconcerting, because it always had made her uncomfortable to be stared at, and especially by an insane heathen, but at the same time...he was sitting down and she was standing, if only because of the ropes at this point--she was exhausted. Sure she was tied up, but he was still below her. Lower than her. That was fitting. Okay, maybe she had lied a little...she could wish all that on the lowliest heathen, because that was him.

But she just nodded and cleared her throat. Best not to wait too long before talking, lest he lose interest. She had to keep him interested in <I>words. "Well...ah...I'm afraid if you like stories, it's, um, not very exciting." She'd be sure to draw it out, though. As long as she was talking and he was listening, that meant he'd be less likely to do anything. She hoped. "Anyway...the beginning I guess. I'm from Solis...it's a kingdom in the desert. I don't have a large family, I'm an only child, and, well...I guess my life has been pretty normal...oh, ahaha, I take that back, maybe it hasn't so much. I grew up around a lot of boys and it drove my parents crazy, heh. Always, you know, catching snakes and stuff instead of playing with dolls, broke my arm once falling out of a tree...yeah...never been too graceful. You might have noticed. And then there was the time I got a busted lip fighting with this one kid, Cyrus. Mom was so mad...thought I'd get a scar there...but he'd started it, he'd pulled my hair...yeah...dad always joked that he could have sworn he'd had a girl, not a boy..."

Niamh knew she was rambling, turning her focus inward to all those memories. And they were happy memories. Just...Light, she missed them...she missed home...

"So...I guess we did have our fights, but nothing big. Well, I mean, they were big sometimes, but not...you know? Nothing surprising...where I come from, there are expectations for girls. For boys, too, they have similar expectations. Girls...well...we're supposed to get married or become priestesses, to serve Mother Sun by serving Her directly in Her temple or by creating more children for Her. My parents, they wanted me to get married. Said it'd be a waste for me to just sit around in a temple, especially with my looks. I'm very light...this is very valued...anyone would want me, I could marry into a good family." Yeah, Nexus had asked to hear about her life growing up. So he was sure as hell going to get it all. But at this point she was actually enjoying it...it was like a sort of escape, the only escape she had right now, and she was becoming calmer as she recalled everything.

Damn...it was kind of weird. To think of where she'd come from and how she'd ended up here...

"Well...I wasn't interested..." Niamh had never liked the idea of being owned by someone. That's what marriage had always seemed like to her; light or not, she'd still have to become a proper Solisi woman, and that would mean giving up a lot more than she wanted to. "So...I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I considered being a priestess; they didn't just sit around in temples, the priests and priestesses had a lot of freedoms outside the temple and were very respected. But it was still too restricting...I studied in a temple for a little bit, though, mostly just to escape my parents' badgering, and, well...that's when I learned about the Lumenari, just last year when I was seventeen. One group was there recruiting at the time, and...it got my interest. They travelled. I'd always wanted to see the world. And they spread the Living Sun's message. There were men and women among them, some priests and priestesses too...all equals, all friends...I was sold.

"I knew it would be dangerous...they didn't sugarcoat it...but..." Niamh shook her head, pausing a moment to collect herself. Those happy memories were suddenly turning rather painful. "I guess I probably shouldn't have joined...heh...you know...I was so stupid. I never told my parents goodbye. Heh. Can you believe that. I wrote a note so they wouldn't think I'd been kidnapped--funny, huh?--and I gave the note to a friend to give to them, but I didn't even see them before I went. We'd had a fight the night before. I was still angry with them. But I figured it wouldn't matter, I'd just be home again in a few months, since the Lumenari stopped back in Solis periodically. No sweat. Well, those few months turned into a year...which...well..."

She offered Nexus a strange, unreadable smile then. Or maybe it wasn't so unreadable--it was just empty. Goddess she felt tired...and sick...and who knows what else. But she wouldn't cry anymore. She'd decided she wouldn't cry, no matter how much she hurt right now. Maybe she just didn't have anymore tears, or maybe she was just too drained to even bother. "I guess you know the rest. I'll never see them again, now. I shouldn't have been so damned selfish...hah, really stupid of me, huh? Light, I was so stupid..."

[Anonymous]

Of course Nexus knew that he was crazy and messed up. He understood that in a reasonable society his ways weren't accepted by a lot of people. That was find by him. He didn't want to be accepted all that much. Not by society. Just a few people would be so nice...Who knew how that was going to go. He did so like to see her shaking for some reason, though it seemed she was starting to...well, calming down wasn't the right word. Becoming exhausted.

"Right. Promises are just words, but I'll do my best." He liked to hear her say that he was the master, but it was an empty set of words. They held no real meaning to her, she was just saying them to please him, which was rather smart of her. She even mentioned something about it being a trial in control, and that was rather true. Ahh..control. He couldn't live without such control.

"Yes. Your life." He told her with a gentle smile upon his lips. She seemed to like the fact that he was giving this a try. He was being nicer than he usually was, he must have really wanted a friend...or just wanted to crush her dreams before her eyes.

He enjoyed listening to her life actually, it was interesting. It was different from his own life, which he would share soon enough. Her life had sounded a little easy...and she right about her looks. She did have beauty, which maybe he wanted to ruin a little bit. Her skin was quite beautiful...it wasn't abnormal to him, but her people might have found it so. It made sense to him. He was more interested in her talk of her religion and she got started with it. Ah, his was a much better story when it came to how he found his religion out. He'd get to that of course.

"I told you that I won't kill you. You'll see them eventually. You just have to...escape your religion. That can be a hassle and a half of course." He chuckled gently as he lay back, his hands behind his head. I guess it was his time to share. She deserved to know didn't she?

"I was born to a small town to a rather nice couple I'm told. The Pantheon had decided they wanted a small group of people who could travel to other realms and preform menial tasks for them. I was one of the unlucky bastards." Nexus laughed, it was a strange laugh to say the least. It had a sort of...pain to it.

"I never felt the sun upon my face till I was at least six. I never actually saw the world with my own eyes until I was...Must have been ten or so. Anyways, the school I went to really didn't like me...mainly because I was one of the smartest children in the school. I had a knowledge they couldn't comprehend, I seemed to surpass some of the adults...My father decided to fix me when I was ten." His head shook as his eyes closed, but of course that didn't stop him from seeing. It never did.

"He beat me into a coma. I awoke several months later to find my family was...gone. My father was dead, and my mother worked for the King. I removed my blindfold and entered the world. The Shaman was kind enough to take me in...but he seemed to fear me still. It wasn't till I was sixteen when I met this strange kid named Carthax Feratul. Turns out the creepy kid was a noble, and we spent some hours in the dungeons and such." Nexus passed a hand across his face, wiping the hair from his face now that it was free. Ah, those were some good times.

"Then there was the incident with the Drow woman...After hunting her for a year and torturing her for three or four days...she died, Carthax and I did some mean things to her but...anyways. We grew apart over the next few years. Carthax went insane and started to make an army for a Dark God. I wandered...came upon the Temple of Arkhanan, the father God of my realm. There was a monk within who revealed my destiny, my reason...my purpose for being. The Gods wanted me to explore realms and worlds..." Nexus sat up, looking at her, no emotion on his face. The Gods had given him this life...made him like this. He didn't truly blame him, but he did hate them sometimes.

"I stayed in my realm for a time, learning the ways of the Goddess who had truly made me. She was the Hanging Goddess...Feris, Goddess of Judgement. I spent some years with that woman, learning of why I was created, and what she wanted me to do. She was one of the greatest women I had met...one who didn't betray me." Ah, he did so love that Goddess. She was a physical being, not like Niamh's living sun. Heh heh, he wondered how that might go over with her.

"I left my realm after...to do my job. Explore...and to right wrongs..That sort of thing. I found some interesting people...but they would die...Even immortals that I met. If I died...I would simply go back to my realm and wake up with the Goddess standing over me. I was allowed to indulge my desires as long as I did my job here and there...Killing...torturing...hunting...things that hurt people...and actually things that helped and freed people from slavery..." He went quiet for a moment, standing up to reach into his satchel. He removed from it a long noose of some sort, one that glowed white and blue. He came up to Niamh, wrapping the noose around her neck. She would feel the wounds on her back close up, not so much disappearing, they would scar over but they would stop hurting. She also wouldn't feel the strain of the ropes so much.

"The same noose that kept me alive for three days will keep you alive now. I can't let you go, I can't cut you free...but I can ease your pain as best I can for now." Nexus...being nice? Even he found this a little out of character. He didn't care at this point. He was having a crisis...one of conscience for that matter. Urgh. This didn't have to be so difficult and yet...yet it was. He hated it. He hated himself, and he hated her.

"Tell me when you want to sleep...You might be able to convince me to tie you up in a fitting position for sleeping." He said finally as he headed away from her, his back turned to look toward the torch that was still giving off light. Ugh. The light.

[Rhindeer]

Whether or not Niamh survived this, that wasn't really the extent of the reasons why she might never get to see her home again now. Truthfully, she wasn't just afraid of Nexus at this point--she was, she was terrified of him the most, but part of her was also horrified by what she had done and what she was doing. Bargaining, reasoning, with the worst of heathens, allowing her faith to be shaken. If anyone found out about this...it would be bad. It wasn't like she would tell anyone, but it also wasn't like she didn't have a guilty conscience, too...it was going to be hard even after she was free, that was certain. If she was ever freed.

And it wasn't like his terms made it any easier. Escape her religion? She'd grow wings and fly first. Wonderful that he seemed to find that so amusing, though she did have to admit she was relieved that he apparently didn't plan on killing her, at the very least; there was no hope of escape if you were dead. In any case, Niamh didn't say anything to that, only looked away. He really didn't understand...but how could he? He was a heathen, the kind that couldn't be saved, didn't want to be saved, didn't deserve to be saved. But...it was okay. She'd learned something else now--he wanted her to escape her religion, and she was more than willing to pretend.

Frowning down at Nexus as he got nice and comfortable down there on the ground--bastard--she slumped tiredly but forced herself to listen intently as he told his story, prepared to take in every detail. It was important. There might be something else in there that she could use.

And as she listened, well...she would have been lying if she said his story didn't surprise her.

Niamh didn't like the parts that involved this..."pantheon" of his, all that talk of false gods and the like. In fact, her mind immedietely went to reject that information as though programed to do so, which in a way it was. She had been taught to reject other gods, to view them as false, the creations of heathens that sought to reject Mother Sun in favor of their own desires and wants. But she forced her ears to remain open; after all, he honestly believed this stuff...thus it was a part of him, and a part of what she was challenged to work with. Hopefully she would be forgiven for this...but right now she couldn't be too worried about that when she had more immediete concerns.

There were parts in his story where...she might have actually felt sympathy for him if he hadn't done what he had to her. A father that beat him, family that abandoned him...all when he was young...drow woman who tortured him, hanging out with an insane guy...well...that did explain some things. Kind of. It didn't excuse anything he'd done, not by a long shot, but...well...she supposed she could see how that would royally screw someone up. But she also couldn't feel sympathy. Not when he enjoyed it. Not when he knew he was messed up and yet he said himself that he loved it. Not when she had to worry about what he was going to do to her. She could understand, kind of...but not forgive. Maybe she did feel some sympathy...she didn't know. This was just so draining.

And then it was back to his goddess...a goddess of Justice?!

How?! He claimed to follow a goddess of justice so...so how was this just?

Not that she actually believed it was a goddess. It sounded like it was just a woman, and heathens did often have powerful leaders in their cults, leaders that they looked to as gods even if they were flesh and blood. But she still held her tongue wisely and continued to listen, unable to help but stare at him at what he said. Killing, torturing, hunting...and freeing people from slavery? Thrown randomly right in there just like that? Like there was no difference between all those things? What the...?

Ooh...her head was really starting to hurt...she had nothing. She had no idea what to say. Her mind had gone oddly blank after processing everything, and now she just had a headache in addition to everything else. It made no sense. No sense at all. It was like he was one big walking contradiction. How the hell did HE go around just...doing gratuitous torture and then...righting wrongs...how did that work?

This was so confusing.

And it only got even <I>more confusing.

Quiet herself, eyelids drooping a little, Niamh watched him get up and go to his satchel...and then she snapped wide awake when he pulled out a weird noose and started to approach her with it, that panicked sensation returning. After all, while he said he wouldn't kill her, he'd made no promise not to torture her, and he might now have something else in mind. Her mouth went dry as he wrapped the thing around her neck, throat tightening even though she wasn't actually being choked, and then...

A sharp gasp left her when she felt her wounds suddenly close up, the pain vanishing, even the strain from the ropes lessening. It wasn't a gasp of pain at all, just of, well...surprise. She'd never actually been healed before, and that he was healing her, ah, yeah. That was kind of the last thing she expected from him. And as for what he was saying...

What?

It was an oddly eerie thing to learn, that he was healing her with the same rope that had tortured and healed him, and maybe it was just because she was really, really tired, but her mind just couldn't seem to properly process what Nexus was <I>saying. He'd injured her! He'd cut her and whipped her and shocked her and tied her up! He was the one torturing her! And now...he was healing her. And talking about easing her pain...like it was someone else who had done this to her and he was just the good doctor come to patch her up. If that noose hadn't been easing all her aches and pains, she would have probably had a migraine by this point. Ah...wait...well, maybe it did make sense. He was going to torture and heal her, just as was done to him. Or...or...oh hell, she couldn't even think anymore. Sighing, she closed her eyes and tilted her head back briefly before staring up toward the ceiling.

Maybe she was just going crazy. This whole thing was so crazy, it was plausible. Being shocked twice...maybe it had done something to her head.

"I, uh...think I wanna try sleeping now...if you don't mind, Nexus..." she said very quietly. She didn't think she'd actually be able to sleep, stressed as she was, and she didn't want to even think about what he could try to do to her while she was sleeping. Then again...there really wasn't much she could do about that even when she was awake, and she tended to sleep lightly; she'd wake up if he tried something, and...and then what? Well, she just had to pray he wouldn't. Ah, yeah, in any case she was sure that even if she did manage to drift off there would be a number of nightmares waiting for her to make what sleep she did get restless. But, sleep also offered another one of those temporary mental escapes, and she was also hoping that maybe if she went to sleep she'd wake up back at camp.

Then again, she might just not get any sleep anyway if she was going to remain tied up. Position fitting for sleep? Oh jeez...was he just going to keep her tied up the whole time...? If he...if he did that...she'd never be able to...

But even as she was thinking that, she really was fighting to keep her eyes open, her entire body limp against the ropes. "Thank you...by the way...I think..." she heard herself mumble, and she immedietely wanted to take that back. Oh...she really was going crazy. Thanking him when he was just repairing the damage he'd done. Yet...it couldn't hurt, could it? It was all part of the charade. Her mind was working funny right now, anyway. Always did when she was on the verge of passing out for the night. Or day. She didn't even know what it was anymore, having lost all concept of time in here. It felt like a long time had passed, but with her luck it had probably only been a few hours.

"Oh Light...Nexus...you confuse me..." Niamh muttered then, more to herself than anything as he turned away, her own eyes closing. "Just thought you should know."

[Anonymous]

Nexus knew that he was a little odd. A sadistic psychopath who worked for the Goddess of Justice. It was so strange to hear, and yet...on his world it was quite normal. Righting wrongs sometimes meant freeing nations, killing people, torturing, degrading, and other sick and low acts that could be preformed. He did them though, because he was meant to.

He just smiled though as he shook his head, more to himself. She seemed to have been really confused as he relayed all this information to her. He even noted the slight change whenever he talked of the Gods of his homeland. He would have to clear that bit up for her. She might not believe that he really worked for a Goddess or the like. All he had to go on was words though...

The gasp from her wounds healing made him smile, even just a little bit. However, it seemed that she couldn't comprehend that he was healing her, after beating her and whipping her. Ah. Confusion was so nice when it happened to other people. He didn't expect her to really stay anything about it. Nexus noted she just sighed and closed her eyes. Heh.

"In a moment I'll let you sleep." He told her softly, his back still facing her. His eyes had rolled about in their sockets, to focus on her. He turned around though, his eyes staying locked on where she was. He nodded when she thanked him...and then...she said something that made him smile. She admitted that he confused her.

"Picture this in your mind Niamh. Your life has been shit. You've been kicked, taken down, and made to feel that your existence was wrong, and you should never be. That you're a mistake, an accident, that you shouldn't be. Then...one day you come across a temple, where you meet a monk who tells you that you were meant to be. You meet a Goddess, a woman who came from the very heavens, a being of infinite power who literally rips your entire being apart, leaving nothing but your soul to hang in the air." He started to pace back and forth as he spoke, trying to put everything into perspective, and tell her about when he had met the Goddess of Justice.

"This is a being who literally created Justice in your realm. She literally control balance and order. Not a simple person posing as a messenger of a Goddess, but an actual Goddess. Now, imagine what would happen if that Goddess says your life was meant to be, and that she created you, and made you as you are." His feet didn't move as he shifted to look at her, his face somber, though his eyes held a sadness in them.

"Imagine hearing that the Gods themselves had MADE your life like that. The Drow...My Father...Carthax...It was all meant to be. You feel small, insignificant. Here you are in the presence of the very being who had willed you to be, and willed your life to be complete hell." Nexus might have been crying if he wasn't so good at keeping his calm. He didn't feel calm inside, but his exterior was soft and gentle for the time being.

"Then the Goddess tells you that your soul will never rest. Never. You will be in her personal three man army forever. You're told your job, that you are to right wrongs, any way that you can. That means you have to do things that would make normal people go insane. You don't though. Oh no. You love it. You love it because you were created to love it. You want to keep doing it because it feels grand, and it makes you feel alive." Nexus took a deep breath as his eyes closed shut tight. He was trying to stop himself from seeing but he couldn't. He would never stop. He would see everything, and he would love and hate every moment of it.

"You work for her, and soon she doesn't have to even give you orders. You know exactly what you have to do. You seek out people who have wronged, just so you can right them, so you can feel alive, so you can feel whole. You know that you should in turn be punished for what you do, but every time you die, you come back. I can never stop what I do. I don't want to stop what I do, but every time I do it...I love it...and I hate myself." Slowly Nexus raised his hand to the bridge of his nose, to rub it softly. He did hate himself, but he enjoyed it. It was the hardest thing to describe to people. They could never understand him, because he was so...different.

"I am a paradox, created by a Goddess to do her bidding and loathe but love every second of it."

[Rhindeer]

Ugh...in a moment. Who knew how long a "moment" would be. But honestly, at this point, Niamh couldn't complain even if she were in a position to complain, which she wasn't. But at this point, she was just grateful that her pain and discomfort had been eased, and that he was only talking right now. Nexus seemed calmer right now, like some weird change had come over him. He'd been so vicious earlier, cruel, frightening, but now he was all gentle smiles and soft words. It...it was pretty unnerving, how he seemed able to go from one extreme to the next so unexpectedly, and she knew this just meant that she had to tread lightly. After all, he'd also been gentle in his mannerisms...while whipping her and carving into her. Oh jeez...he was unpredictable, and that was bad. There was no telling when he'd suddenly switch gears from calmly conversing to calmly cutting.

Luckily, for the time being, he wasn't done talking.

It seemed he was trying to clear up her confusion, finally facing her again, and she shifted a little to try and get more comfortable and keep herself awake. Even with the noose easing the strain (and healing device or not, having a hangman's noose around you was pretty creepy) it still wasn't very comfortable; she still felt claustrophobic, and the lack of light and closed-in space of the warehouse wasn't helping. It probably wouldn't be much longer before she caved and tried to convince Nexus to bring the torch closer, and to untie her so she could sleep...but that might be pushing her luck, and her luck was terrible.

In any case, Nexus' explanation...was unexpected. Another time and she might not have been able to really imagine something like that; after all, she'd had a comfortable, happy, sheltered life for the most part, and while there had been rough patches, and while she'd been in some stressful and even frightening situations after joining the Lumenari, life had still been good to her and she'd had a lot to be thankful for, a lot of friends, a lot of people she cared for and who cared for her. She'd always been an optimist, she had no reason not to be. Life, however, was pretty shitty right now, so it really wasn't too much of a stretch to picture all that.

The Goddess stuff, however, was another story...but...the way he was talking about her...suddenly it didn't sound like he was talking about some heathen cult leader. People like that couldn't tear someone apart to leave their soul hanging in the air...unless that was a figure of speech. Because how could it be an actual Goddess? Mother Sun was the only--wait...

She remembered something Nexus had said before, something she had tried to forget because it was blasphemous and yet it made sense. About the other worlds that were out there, about there being different deities to rule over each world, about...about something she'd even thought of, about how the scriptures never explicitly stated that there weren't other Gods, just that Mother Sun was the Creator, that other Gods were false. The scriptures never said anything about other worlds...never mentioned them at all. What if...what if She had created other Gods and Goddesses, but they had started to lead Her children away from Her? That was why they were bad...false...because they, a creation, were being worshipped instead of the true creator.

It made sense...but it also sounded like a dangerous thought to have, to even acknowledge the possibility of other deities. It was something she'd had in her head for a while after escaping Nexus, something that had tortured her. She'd tried so hard to forget about her new ideas, but now they'd been nudged to the surface again. Niamh swallowed. But he might also be lying still. He was a heathen...he couldn't be trusted...he was trying to lead her astray. There was no reason to believe this other Goddess existed...right...?

Yet could even a heathen feign sadness? At least...that's what she thought she saw there, and even if his voice was calm, his words gave him away. It...it was weird. Maybe she was just imagining things. This was a man that was making her life hell, terrifying her...

She should not be able to see where he was coming from. She shouldn't. But it all made sense...a little. The idea that he was made to do this. It didn't make it right, but it at least made a little sense, and that was at least better than all of this being for nothing...if that made any sense, which it probably didn't. Light, she was still confused. He loved it. Yet he hated it. Loved it because he was meant to do it. Hated it because he was meant to do it. Hated himself for doing what he loved. Niamh also closed her eyes then as Nexus called himself a paradox...which, well, she agreed with. It made no sense, it was sick and it was frightening because...because it meant there was really no way around it. To love and hate something...how did you escape that? How did it even work?

"Your Goddess...she sounds cruel," she said slowly, opening her eyes, before giving a start and shaking her head. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant...I mean...I don't know...I guess I just don't see how--"

Suddenly she stopped.

...Holy Mother. Maybe it did make sense.

It was like what she did.

Niamh loved being a part of the Lumenari. She loved the adventure, the travels, what she got to see. She liked spreading the Living Sun's message to the unfortunate heathens that had yet to be saved. But she didn't like what happened when they rejected the message, when people were killed as a result because they refused to save themselves. Heathens or not, they were still living beings; it wasn't like she enjoyed what happened. But she watched it anyway because they had made their choice, and she fought when they fought back. She'd killed before. It wasn't fun, it wasn't pleasant, but it was what she had to do, what they all had to do. It was why the Living Sun had formed the Lumenari to begin with. It was their duty, to follow Her word. So, she did it. She trusted the Living Sun. She trusted Her word. Simple as that.

Light...

Finally Niamh opened her eyes again, her face blank. She couldn't believe this...and she felt even more tired now, yet also a little more awake, restless. It made sense. To do what you did because it was your duty...but to hate it in turn because...because...

Because deep down you also had a conscience?

Ahaha...yeah, right. Like Nexus had a conscience.

Drawing a deep breath, Niamh once again looked away, off toward the torchlight. "I think I understand..." she said quietly, clenching and unclenching her clammy fists nervously. Then she forced out the next set of words. She was loath to admit it, but she also knew it might help. Establishing similarities was one more step toward making a connection of some sort, right? And she wanted to make that connection. If she could do that, she might be able to save herself. "We...we may have something else in common, after all..."

But all his talk about justice had brought on another thought about a possibility that might make all of this in vain anyway. Nexus' apparent duty, if all of what he said was true. Without expanding upon her revelation, she only swallowed hard and looked down, afraid of the answer to what she was about to ask. "Nexus...am I being punished?"

A memory had flashed in her mind. It was of that first encounter with Nexus, right before he'd let her go, right when he'd asked if she was sorry. Sorry for what she'd done to the heathens. She'd answered no, and he'd let her go...and then he'd caught her again. He followed a Goddess of Justice, even if that Goddess was false, he still believed this. He was a heathen. If she looked at it from his point of view...her people killed his kind, and she was part of it all, she'd assisted with it, she'd watched it. By his...oh Goddess...by his views, he...he was probably enacting justice on her. For killing his kind.

And if that was the case...well...from what he'd said, she would be screwed.