The silence that flowed between them was sickeningly long--she felt like leaping at him and pushing him away all in the same movement. What feeling did she truly want to follow? She could feel his feelings, which made her heart leap to her chest and down to the pit of her stomach yet again, but then her old regrets would stop her heart for many seconds before she could breathe again.
She heard him moving around as he spoke, and shut her eyes tighter until he stopped moving about. She peeked very carefully out of one eye as if she would find herself in trouble if he saw her looking at him. He was sitting on both knees--such a vulnerable position. When Satu was a child, she had once knelt like that before her adversaries, awaiting her fate without a struggle.
So, he didn't plan on deserting his trek? Such confidence wasn't found in many Carpathian males nowadays; if anything, she'd found many who'd simply given up, but weren't quite ready for vampirism, so they just held off the feelings of converting and stayed in there sullen states, forever pretending to search, unhappy and cold.
She jumped slightly at his touch, not used to anyone's touch but her brother's. And, naturally, it was only a brother's touch, so she'd never felt this kind of emotion behind such a simple action as stroking someone's hair. She turned to face him, eyelashes dotted with crystal tears, noticing that his face had gotten a little closer. She grabbed an arm of the armchair with her free hand to keep herself controlled and steady--her heart began to beat erratically again, the urge to be held and to hold and coddle him suddenly washing over her.
Her real name? Did she trust him enough? She watched him a moment and saw nothing but sincerity behind him, something she hadn't seen in a long while. She felt another surge of emotions and let go of his sleeve, grasping the other arm of the chair this time. "J--j--" She shook her head. No, her real name, not her second alias! Her entire body began to tremble, fearing what would come from her reckless actions. Each S, A, and M were decorated with a stammering, shaky voice, as if she had just been given a horrible fright. "Satu. Satu Arabelle Mitsumi." Another surge made her lightheaded, unable to think straight for a moment. She found her head close to his, closer than she would've normally liked. She pulled herself away, reminding herself that he was still a stranger, that one kiss meant nothing. Right?