[Sitting happily on Tarlaka's desk, a carefully hand-written letter on crisp, formal white paper.]
Yo.
I'm cold. And, you know what that meeeeaaaans! I was thinking I might come over to your shiny castle for a visit some time soon. Ya know, check the place out, hang out in the garden, get some lovin'? Eh? Eh?
Anyway! On a more serious note... Wait, I don't have a serious note. But, how's the kid, that cute little thing. If it were here, I would give it a hug. I love its giggle. At least it's more friendly to me than you are. Did I tell you I love you? I miss you lots?
I'll be back from my business trip soon. Who the bloody hell goes down the ARCTIC for this kind of job?! Not that I mind, but, you know, it is COLD down here. Very COLD. I think I might need some help WARMING UP. And, since you're so good at that, I think I'll stop by for a visit when I get back! Don't get too excited waiting for meeee~!
Lotsa (COLD) love,
Sebastian.
PS: I need that cheque.
((Pseudonym's brain on caffeine at 4am. ))