He felt like he was going to pass out with how the silence dragged, with how Fletcher started and stopped repeatedly. The laughter threw him through a loop and he felt his knees weaken further in preparation of the crushing blow. But what came was the grin he'd come to love so much. Theo nodded sadly along. Of course he thought Fletcher didn't want him. Hadn't the man made that clear? That he loved him but wouldn't have him like this?
A strangled sob broke from his throat before he could clap his hand over his mouth in a vice like grip over his own jaw. Tears soaked his hand as he lost his war with his own emotions.
"I want you," he garbled, dropping his hand away and choking on his own words. "Everything, Jack. Your best days, your worst days, whatever you will give me I am greedy for and more. I...I've already lost everything once. I'm terrified of what will happen to you. Or how much you'll resent me for all this. I don't know what will become of all this. I just know I can't...I can't live without it. I need you. And I know I'm a curse and I'll drag you down with me and it'll break us both but I've never desired to be such a selfish, greedy bastard more than now. I'm sorry and I'm not and...I want this. With all my being I want this. I don't make all the right choices or know how to keep up with you. I sting you when I don't mean to but, I want to be your shelter and strength as you are mine. I want to support you as much at your worst as your best. I want you to...want this too. And if that means all I get are scraps and am left waiting in the wings forever...so be it."
A strangled sob broke from his throat before he could clap his hand over his mouth in a vice like grip over his own jaw. Tears soaked his hand as he lost his war with his own emotions.
"I want you," he garbled, dropping his hand away and choking on his own words. "Everything, Jack. Your best days, your worst days, whatever you will give me I am greedy for and more. I...I've already lost everything once. I'm terrified of what will happen to you. Or how much you'll resent me for all this. I don't know what will become of all this. I just know I can't...I can't live without it. I need you. And I know I'm a curse and I'll drag you down with me and it'll break us both but I've never desired to be such a selfish, greedy bastard more than now. I'm sorry and I'm not and...I want this. With all my being I want this. I don't make all the right choices or know how to keep up with you. I sting you when I don't mean to but, I want to be your shelter and strength as you are mine. I want to support you as much at your worst as your best. I want you to...want this too. And if that means all I get are scraps and am left waiting in the wings forever...so be it."