Darkest Night [DragonSong] [M]

[Zero]

"My...mother."

No, that wasn't possible. His mother would never...

Cole could feel his heart fighting to burst right from his chest it was beating so hard. This was just more tricks of his mind. It had to be. Just more things he wanted to hear. What little boy didn't yearn for his mother's care and affection?

There was nothing Cole wouldn't have given for even an ounce of his mother's love. In all his life he could not recall a time she'd been warm or approving of him. She had not comforted him when he cried as a young boy, confused and hurt by the harsh words and hands of his father. Never once could he remember hearing her tell him that she loved him.

Not once.

How could anyone ever love him if his own mother couldn't? Not even he could love himself. It had always been that way since he was old enough to begin forming thoughts and opinions on his very own.

Everything had been about getting just enough approval from his father to keep his hide intact, all the while knowing that every action that brought him closer to a man he didn't even like drove him that much further away from the woman that had given life to him in the first place. It was almost too much to even think about.

Cole felt like his whole world was crumbling as he stood there in that strange dream world with Zahra's hands cupping his face so gently. Aside from the dream embrace from before it was the most affection he felt that he'd received in perhaps his entire life - and from a girl he barely knew.

A girl that had every reason to loath him with all her being...

"Zahra, why?" It felt monumentally important to ask that question. His arms unwound from himself and slowly, hesitantly wrapped around her, giving in to the need for comfort. It was a dream, and it was still wrong, but he couldn't override that human urge for physical contact and closeness with another. "I can't go with you just because of my mother. Would you ever feel safe with me there? Could you ever feel safe with me? Could...anyone?"

That was the real question. Could anyone really ever want a monster?

[DragonSong]

Zahra's eyes widened slightly as his arms came around her and for a moment she had to fight the urge to tense. It wasn't as though she really thought he would hurt her, not here, in this dream, but the impulse was there all the same.

But she managed to repress it and leaned into him slightly. Her hands smoothed down his face and came to settle gently on his back, thumbs rubbing absent circles between his shoulders. She smiled a little tightly.

"I feel safe now," she answered honestly. "I won't pretend it won't be hard for a while. Gods know I can't even say any of these things to you when I'm awake. But I- I want you to come with me. I can't make it out there on my own, I know that, and I won't pretend that's not part of it."

Her smile became a little less forced, softer. "But I do feel safe with you, Cole." At least compared to how she felt without him in the camp. "And I want you to come with me. Please."

[Zero]

It wasn't as if he'd blame her if she did tense up at the hug, but Cole hadn't been able to help it. He just needed that connection, even if only for a few moments. Honestly he expected her to pull away from him, or to push him away. Not even in his own dream could he imagine her returning the gesture, but he relaxed against her as she rubbed little circles against his back.

Cole dropped his head down to her shoulder, just letting himself enjoy it for a few moments as he listened to her speak. Her voice was so soothing, and he wished he could really believe what he heard.

But he couldn't believe it. Refused to believe it.

This was still just a dream. None of it was real and it made no difference once he woke up. All this was just things he either wanted badly or feared, right? It also meant that what he said didn't matter. "I will get you to safety, Zahra. I promise, but I can't promise to go with you. I just can't promise something like that. None of this will matter come morning anyway."

He kind of didn't want to wake up.

[DragonSong]

As his head came to rest on her shoulder she tightened her embrace, sliding one hand up to twine her fingers through his hair, holding him there gently. She leaned into him a little more and sighed quietly as she heard him speak.

Had she really expected anything different, even in a dream?

Zahra twisted her head slightly to almost nuzzle into the embrace. A strange impulse, but one she couldn't seem to ignore. The hand on his back stroked up and down as she pulled herself tight against his chest.

"That's okay," she murmured, playing absently with the ends of his hair. "Even if this isn't real- I have to believe some part of you feels like this. And I'll save you, I promise." Whether you want me to or not.

She turned her head, hesitated, then feathered an almost-not-there kiss to his cheek as the oasis began to fade away around them.

She was waking up.

[Zero]

Even for a dream, the entire situation felt surreal. Cole practically melted into her arms as her fingers curled through his hair. Why couldn't he have this for real? Not necessarily with Zahra, but at all? Of course he knew why, because of who and what he was. The men would have been merciless in their harassment of his weakness, but no woman would be so foolish as to treat him so kindly anyway.

He could feel the dream fading away, the oasis was bleeding out and returning to the void it had emerged from. Cole tried to cling that much more tightly to the woman in his arms, but it was a futile effort.

Even as she disappeared, he could still feel the warmth of her pressed against his chest, even as he stared down at his empty arms. Cole flexed his fingers, as if hoping such a simple action would somehow bring her back. It was a stupid hope. He tried to cling to a false dream, an unrealistic fantasy.

In the tent, Zahra would find that Cole had turned in his sleep and curled himself against her, perhaps subconsciously seeking the same warmth and comfort as his dream self.

[DragonSong]

"Wait-"

Zahra's eyes fluttered opened and she sighed. She may have had a strange control over most dreams, but it seemed she'd been unable to prevent that one from ending. She yawned, opening her eyes properly. "O-oh..."

She almost hadn't noticed how close Cole had curled against her in the night, her arm still around his waist. It was so like the dream, the shared warmth, that it hadn't struck her as odd until she'd forced herself fully into the waking world.

Part of her thought she should pull away, but she hesitated. Gods, she just wanted that contact again, wanted to feel like she could be strong for someone who so obviously needed it...

But it was just a dream. Another sigh and she slid her hand gently up to his shoulder and gave a little shake. "Cole? Wake up, I think it's almost dawn."

[Zero]

No, why did it have to end?

Even the sleeping void was better than the waking world. A fact he was harshly reminded of as his crimson eyes opened groggily. It took several moments for Cole to realize the way they were cuddled against one another, with her hand at his shoulder to wake him.

The realization had him jerk back, scrambling away from her in an almost panic. His stupid dreams had made him wrap himself around her like some creepy pervert.

"S-sorry. I didn't mean to..." It was bad enough that Zahra hated him for all the rest of the things, but at least he hadn't been touching her inappropriately these tense days together. Now he'd gone and made things worse than they already were.

Cole shook his head, trying to clear the dream from his mind, because he wanted to lay back down and just have her hold him some more.

"There won't be any camp breakdown. The girls are already probably being cleaned for market. I have to go take care of a couple things, you just stay here and make sure that you're ready to go as soon as I come back." He wasn't looking at her. This was it. Just a few hours and Zahra would be on her way to a new, better life.

Cole wasn't part of that better world.

[DragonSong]

His sudden withdraw made her start and scramble up, eyes wide. "Oh- wait, Cole, you didn't-"

She snapped her mouth shut and pulled back the hand she'd unconsciously reached after him. He didn't want to be near her, and that was fine. She was the one who'd fallen asleep with her arm around him.

A soft breath and she nodded. "I'll be ready," she murmured, getting to her feet and moving toward her pack. "Cole." She glanced over her shoulder at him. "Be careful?"

[Zero]

There was a soft clenching in his chest when she told him to be careful. For just a moment he wanted to believe she said it out of worry or care for him and his safety. Cole knew that it was really just the fact that without him, she'd never escape. If he wasn't careful, she'd be stuck here forever, and without him to keep her safe.

He gave a stiff nod and slid out of the tent.

Nobody bothered him as he worked, the look on his face was hardly one that said he was open to conversation. He took care of the things that needed taken care of and gathered the few things he needed to make this all work.

It was maybe an hour before he slipped quietly back into the tent with a small pack of his own. Cole pulled a veil from it and offered it to her. "Put this one. Slaves in Essyrn must wear a veil. You'll take it off later, along with that collar. I've got some things for you here. Money and food, mostly. It isn't much, but it's better than you going empty handed and I didn't know what you already had. Are you ready?"

They only had one shot at this.

[DragonSong]

It didn't take Zahra long to secure her flute and bow- they were the only things she really cared about keeping with her- and once she had she found herself clutching her pack to her chest, pacing anxious circles around the inside of the tent.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when Cole entered the tent, completely on edge. she had to take a breath to calm herself before she nodded at him. "I'm ready." Her voice only shook a little bit, which she supposed was something.

She glanced at the entrance to the tent- then suddenly found herself darting forward to wrap her arms around Cole in a brief, tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered, pulling back quickly.

Another breath and she nodded again, more firmly this time, as she took the veil and secured it over her face.

[Zero]

Everything froze and the breath left him in that moment,Cole could practically feel the tension radiating through him as she hugged him, that quiet whispered thanks twisting his gut like a coal poker.

"I told you not to thank me." He said quietly as she pulled back. With a shuddering breath to steel himself, Cole grabbed her hand and pulled her with him as he left the tent again.

His face was a mask of indifference as they strode through the camp purposely. Cole acted as if it was the most natural thing for them to be doing as they headed for the perimeter of camp. The girls were no longer in sight, but the guards watched them lazily.

"Didn't think you were going into town, Cole." One of them drawled in boredom.

"Not to sell slaves, but it ain't against the rules to go for myself. There's some things I want to pick up while we're in town." He gestured at Zahra with a snicker. "Don't even have to carry it back this time."

The nearby men laughed. "I heard about you getting yourself a pretty little pet. Didn't think you'd ever take one for yourself."

"Yeah, well I liked the way her ass jiggled when I slapped it." That comment brought a chorus of laughter from them, and the primary one threw his thumb over his shoulder in a gesture to the city.

"Get going. Everyone wants to enjoy the few days we'll be here. Most are probably sloshed on cheap booze already. The ones not working anyway." He chuckled again.

Cole pulled Zahra along and let out a relieved sigh when they were finally out of earshot. They entered the city proper and he pulled her through the throngs of dark-skinned people as quickly as he could. When he thought it was safe he ducked into an alley and turned to her. His hands moved to her neck and easily found the mechanism that secured her collar, allowing it to spring open as he pulled it carefully from her throat.

"Take off your veil. When we leave this alley you're no longer a slave. We'll get you to the trade caravans heading north and set up your passage." It was all he could do.

[DragonSong]

Zahra squeaked quietly when Cole pulled her out of the tent, then ducked her head and fell easily into the role of a terrified slave. A part of her hated how well she'd learned to play the part, but she held no illusions about what would have happened to her if she hadn't.

Losing a little dignity was nothing compared to that.

She winced at the coarse jokes Cole exchanged with the guards, only half acting. She still had a hard time believing there were really people in the world who thought like that.

Still, she was nearly vibrating with anxiety when they finally entered the city. It was her first time in Essyrn, and she should have been curious, maybe a little excited, but all she could feel was the terror of them being caught. Not just terror for her now, but for Cole too, for what they would do to him if they found out he'd tried to help her-

No. No, it was going to be okay. They would get out of this. She drew in a shivering breath as Cole pulled her into the alley. The collar clicked free from around her throat and she gasped quietly, reaching up with shaking fingers to loose the veil and lightly touch the now exposed skin.

She didn't think anything had ever felt so good.

"Cole." She grabbed for his arm, eyes searching his face. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. What could she say that would convince him to come with her? "Cole, I... You..."

[Zero]

It was surprising, but when she grabbed his arm Cole didn't pull away. Honestly he wasn't sure if he would have been capable of it. Hard as he'd tried, the previous dreams of Zahra, of the way she'd held and comforted him, were still fresh and bright in his mind. It was impossible to push them out of his thoughts, and he couldn't stop part of him for yearning for it to all be real.

"I said not to thank me, sweetling." Risking her ire, since they were about to say goodbye forever shortly anyway, Cole brought his hand up and brushed this thumb over her cheek in a gesture so full of affection that it surprised even him. "I wish I had met you in another life."

The words were a hoarse whisper and he closed his eyes, looking away in shame and dropping his hand with a sigh. He had only this life. There wasn't another life for him to claim.

"We should hurry." He said briskly, trying to brush away the moment as nothing.

"What's the rush?" Came the rather jaunty voice of Jarvis, who was now blocking the exit to the alley as he sauntered towards them. "You know, I knew you were up to something from the moment you brought that little bitch into camp. Got you wrapped around her little finger, eh? I can't wait to tell everyone. They're going to beat the piss out of your worthless ass, and let you watch every single one of the boys fuck that little cunt of yours before they kill you."

Cole's blood had turned to ice and all the hair had raised on his flesh at the first lilt of that voice. Of all the people to follow them, it had to be the very worst. Except maybe his father. He turned with a snarl, red eyes blazing as the chill was replaced with rage.

"Shut your damn mouth, Jarvis. I was getting fucking sick to death of you anyway, but now I guess I'll have to kill you on principle." Cole was going to die either way now.

Jarvis just laughed and pulled two daggers from his belt. "I'm going to get to go first. I can already tell how sweet and juicy that little peach is going to be. I've wanted her since you dragged her home. Should have just let me have a turn you greedy little shit."

[DragonSong]

Zahra's heart actually skipped a bit when his thumb brushed over her cheek and she stared up into his eyes, unconsciously leaning after his touch when he dropped his hand.

The dreams were fresh in her mind as well, and it took a good deal of will power not to reach for him again, to pull him in and just hold him for a moment. "Cole, I-"

Her voice was cut off by another, one that made her blood run cold and terror grip her heart. She whimpered, pressing back against the wall of the alley as her eyes darted from Cole to Jarvis and back, then away, looking for an escape.

She clenched her eyes shut against the human's threats, all too vivid images of what he described bursting into her mind. Oh gods oh gods oh gods, help me, please, I can't, help please please-

No.

Her eyes snapped open as something like fire rushed through her, just for a moment. No more. She was not going to just let this happen. With a quiet sound that was almost a growl, she found herself suddenly standing in front of Cole, arms spread slightly as she tried to use her tiny self as a shield.

"Touch him and I'll k-kill you." Her voice shook, the stutter was clearly present, but she'd said it. She'd done something. She wouldn't be the victim in this, not anymore. If she was going to die, she was going down fighting damnit.

And she wouldn't let him hurt Cole, not while she could stop it.

[Zero]

Jarvis practically roared with laughter at that. He actually doubled up for a moment.

Cole on the other hand, well his heart had jumped into his throat when she'd put herself in front of him. He pulled her back and moved in front of her protectively. "Stay behind me, sweetling. I can take him."

That made his laughter die down quickly. "Aww, this is too sweet. The little lovebirds wanting to throw themselves in front of each other. You're both stupid."

Cole moved his hands behind his back and pulled out the knives that were tucked there but kept his hands - and the blades - hidden behind him as he stepped forward. "You're a disgusting crook that would put a knife in the back of his mother if it got him something. I've always hated you, but even I underestimated how much of a vicious dick you are."

"I'm smart. I look out for me, myself, and I. Fuck anyone else." Jarvis smirked, then lunged forward, slashing one dagger at Cole's face and attempting to stab him in the side with the other.

It was a really fast movement, but Cole ducked out of the way of both strikes and rammed his shoulder into the larger man. Both of them went sprawling in the dust and sand, grappling with each other as they attempted to gain the upper hand. It was truly a life or death struggle, with both men intent on killing the other.

[DragonSong]

"Cole, don't-" Her voice cut off as she realized how ridiculous it was for her to tell him not to fight. He had to. If he didn't, they were both dead.

Or she'd wish she was dead.

Any boldness she'd had drained away and she flinched back, keeping herself tucked behind Cole's back, wide eyes flicking from his blades to Jarvis.

Then the human launched himself forward and she cried out, skittering back instinctively. Another cry that she couldn't seem to hold in tore out of her as both men went rolling through the dust, fighting viciously.

Oh gods. She's always hated the fainting maidens that stood by while the men fought in her mother's old stories, but now... She couldn't do anything. Even if she'd had a weapon other than her bow, throwing herself into the fray was more likely to be a liability to Cole than anything else. All she could do was dart awkwardly around them, praying silently.

[Zero]

First Cole was on top of Jarvis, fighting to sink one of his knives into the man's throat, then then they would roll and wrestle for a moment before Cole was the one pinned and fighting to keep himself from being stabbed to death. They went back and forth like that viciously, and as they fought smears of blood were left behind, although it was hard to say who was bleeding or not.

There were no more insults, no talking or taunting, just grunts, snarls, and heavy breathing. It was over surprisingly quickly actually, despite it probably looking like it went on forever to their single observer.

Cole pushed Jarvis off him, the man was gurgling and clawing at his own throat where an angry gash poured out crimson liquid. Although it only lasted for a few moments. Jarvis grew still and became lifeless as he bled out.

He didn't looked at him. Really couldn't look at him. Cole had always hated him, but the man had been part of the group.

And he had killed him.

Cole stumbled to his feet. Blood was oozing slowly through a gash in his leather armor on his side, and he put a hand there with a grimace. There was a nick on his cheek that trickled a small line of blood but he ignored it.

"Time to go." He rasped, collecting his knives and tucking them away. The guards or his own men would find Jarvis soon enough. Cole needed to have Zahra well on her way before then.

[DragonSong]

A soft scream caught in Zahra's throat when she saw the flash of a blade and a spray of crimson. Whoever had been cut was going to bleed out, she knew that, and for one heart-stopping moment she thought it was Cole.

Relief flooded her when the drow shoved the dying human off of him, followed immediately by guilt at the relief.

She was relieved that someone was dead.

A horrifying, monstrous someone, but still a person.

But she didn't have time to dwell on it. In a matter of moments Cole was on his feet and telling her they had to go. She grabbed for his arm again, trying to slip around to his side. "You're hurt, let me see." Her voice was weak and shaky as she tried to focus. Healing. She could- she could manage healing. Just one thing at a time.

But they had to move. Right, they had to move. She looked up at Cole's face, eyes wide and tears gathering in them. "Oh stars, Cole- I'm sorry, I-" Her throat tightened up and she pressed her hand to the wound in his side, trying to staunch the bleeding a little.

[Zero]

Cole tried to side step her, not wanting her to look at the wound. He didn't know that she knew anything about healing. It wasn't something he'd learned about her in their handful of days and nights together. Plus there was a dead body in the alley with them and he didn't want to have to answer questions about how it got there.

"There's no time, sweetling. I'll take care of it later." He insisted, looking down at her tiredly as she looked up at him with those tearful eyes. "I'll be okay. It's just a rib tickler. I've had worse scratches."

He pulled her hand away, squeezing it gently. Blood was smeared between their palms, but it couldn't be helped. It wasn't like Cole wasn't used to being hurt. Injuries were common when they raided caravans and villages.

[DragonSong]

"B-but-" Zahra swallowed a protest and forced herself to nod. She knew they had to move, but she felt shivery and weak.

She gave her head a sharp shake in an attempt to collect herself. "Okay," she whispered. Her eyes flickered to the body and away quickly. She took a deep breath. "C'mon..." Uncaring of the blood smeared over their skin, she squeezed his hand in hers.

"We need to g-get to the caravan. Then I can look at you, okay?"