"I believe you." Theo stepped back into him and pulled him close. "I believe you and I trust you. We will do this and we will do it together. Just...don't be reckless. And in turn I'll be more mindful in my interactions with her. We have each other right? Neither of us are alone to do this without the other anymore. I'm here to help support you and you're here to help me figure out what you can help with."

He gave him another squeeze and rubbed his arms. "And I hope it never comes to it but...I'm glad there's somewhere safe for you."

Theo gave a slight side eye of mischief though. "They may night kiss your behind though. That's my privilege and I'm not sharing it."

He sighed tiredly and allowed Fletcher to step away from him, his hands dropping to his sides. When he spoke it was with complete calmness filled with traces "And I'm asking you not to do it for me. I'm saying that it makes me feel worse than if you had cheated willingly. I mean, would you be alright if I slept with Edwina and said it was for your sake? That I wanted nothing to do with it but it was the fastest way I could protect you? That my heart belongs to you but I haven't body freely for your sake to another?

"It doesn't feel good to me. Not for that matter does outing you and putting you at that risk. This house is dangerous enough as it is. One wrong word and my father will see you gone and your life made hell. I will not survive it Jack. I will not survive you being driven apart from me. That is how deeply I care for you. Is it truly so awful of me to feel jealous and afraid for you over such a thing?"

He shook the other man slightly with a frown. "Why do you get to say you are undeserving but I don't? Why don't get to yourself down and I'm not? Do not speak poorly of my beloved. You hurt my heart when you do."

His hands slid down to take Fletcher's and hold them close. "I do get it. I think I've just spent so much time burying myself that I accept even these closeted moments without question or trying to long for more. But I do long for more. And I do understand how you feel...it is how I feel about...about you gathering information from Neal using certain...methods."

Theo looked back at him horrified, dropping his hands to the other man's shoulders. "Of course not," he replied in complete shock and incredulity.

"You learned to sign for me. I did not ask you to. We were not already as we are. You did it simply because it was part of my life and it is important to me.

"She meanwhile had to be asked. She does it for show and clout to put on a performance for her poor, deaf fiancé. She cannot even be bothered to learn or improve on her own. She makes the same basic mistakes and uses every opportunity to turn it to her advantage.

"Of course it's upsetting to you. All you've done and I go and teach a woman who hates me and flirts...flirts in the same room as me as if I have not eyes instead of ears. And I didn't even consider how it must feel for you."

His brow furrowed and he bit his own lip anxiously. "Do I truly come off as the type to be so cruel to you? Do I condescend and patronize you like my father?" He asked not accusingly but in deep fear and concern of the answer. "Am I him?"

He hung his head some in shame but nodded at Fletcher's words. He was right. He needed to be better. He needed to trust. Out of everyone Fletcher had never betrayed him, had never done him wrong, and had always advocated for him. If anyone was going to stay, believe in him, maybe even love him, it would be Fletcher.

His expression softened further and unconsciously he reached up to cup Fletcher's cheeks. "Oh my heart you're right and I didn't consider. I won't teach her further. She's terrible anyway so our conversations are not at risk but I can see how our special thing could be irritating to watch for you. I too was left feeling uncomfortable watching the two of them or having to touch her in ways I only want to touch you. Can you forgive me for my thoughtlessness?"

He nodded in understanding and carefully stepped in closer to wrap his arms around Fletcher and nuzzle against the side of his head. Something still felt off. Was it because of what had been overheard? Theo sighed and squeezed a bit tighter. 

"I had no idea, I'm sorry. I just was thinking out loud. Everything is silent to my ears but sometimes my head gets too loud. I'm sorry I let my anxieties and worries get out to you before I was ready to discuss them properly with you. It has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you. Just...I know something is bothering you and I don't know maybe it's just because you're tired or too much time posturing but...I was just trying to sort out my own stuff before dumping it all on you. Give you some space. Give me some space so I'm not just this neurotic Pretty Boy."

Theo pulled back enough to look at Fletcher proper. "As for you, you're clever, kind, gentle, have your own wicked and bawdy sense of humor, have the most heartbreakingly beautiful smile, and you out of everyone in the whole world make me feel like I'm—" he choked up and had to take a moment to try and blink away tears. "Like I could maybe be enough. Like I'm not a broken discard. Like when you say you aren't going anywhere, you out of everyone will actually keep to your word and stay because you said you would."

The more Fletcher talked the more his cheeks flushed and eyes widened. He could be heard? How long had that been a thing? Was he that loud? Had he been failing to regulate his volume all this time? Were the walls that thin? What else had others heard? What else had he let slip? Could the guards hear him outside the room?

Had Elijah known?

Theo fought to bury the thought so he could focus on Fletcher instead. "I mean...you still have an eye," he laughed nervously. He was completely overwhelmed with emotion though and once more was fighting off tears. 

"Can I—" Theo cut off his whisper and made all manner of distressed faces before switching to sign. "Is it safe? Can I have a hug? I have so many questions. I'm so sorry."

Theo squeaked seeing the door open but his face lit up a bit to see his love standing in his doorway. He popped up out of bed, tossing the covers off and moving further into the room.

"A walk would be lovely...if you're not too tired that is. Don't have to drag me with you."

He wobbled some looking very much like he wanted to step in but holding back out of safety and uncertainty.

His shoulders drooped some but Theo offered a tired, friendly smile before entering his room. Part of him had hoped Fletcher would join him and they could get some more alone time together in. Truthfully though he was exhausted and heart-heavy.

He changed out of his sash and over robe before collapsing into his bed. The blankets were pulled up over his chin and he stared out the window at the sun filtering through the tree leaves.

How was it that even though he wanted her gone, he was still so badly stung by it all? And then there was Fletcher. Was the game too much? Was he already having second thoughts? Was he angry with Theo or just holding distance? Could Theo himself even keep up with all of this? Should he?

He wanted to. 

The man told him to be greedy and he was but he'd seen the coldness from Fletcher and found himself unsure if it was an act or his fault or both. He wanted to run up to the other door and slip in. To crawl into his lover's arms and melt. To get up to mischief and be reassured.

But he stayed put. A sigh fell from his lips as he rolled onto his back and he stared up at the canopy.

"You're fucking this up, Theodore. What are you doing? You don't deserve him. You really don't. You're just hurting him.

"He said be greedy. You're supposed to trust him like you've asked him to trust you. He's an adult making adult decisions. He thinks it's worth it then it's worth it right? He's confident, experienced, worldly...

"Then what am I?" Theo groaned and sighed to himself rubbing at his face. He growled and chucked a pillow off the bed. "She drives me crazy. Can't stand her!"

He glanced and caught Fletcher's words and nodded slightly, looking utterly distracted by his own thoughts. Quietly, Theo led them both back up to his room. 

"I think I may lay down, if you desire to rest in your room or switch shifts for the rest of the afternoon and evening I understand. I know training Mr. Truckett and monitoring my safety are doubly taxing for you right now."

"She is, isn't she," he replied. "Seems to really make it her business to get to know all the staff personally. Commendable really."

His voice however held none of the pride that should have accompanied statements. Theo just looked worn.

"Also if you truly wish to learn sign language I would suggest not taking too much stock in what she teaches you. For all her earnestness, she's not very good at it and tends to be more focused on other things.

"If there's nothing you feel the need to report at this time and no questions I think I'm going to retire for the afternoon. Thank you for your good work today Mr. Truckett."

Theo did his best to ignore it all. He was numb to these games, to these fake people, to everyone leaving him in the end. When he glanced and saw their closeness, he had to close his eyes again and just lose himself in the playing. The plan was working. The rest did not matter. His feelings were not warranted here. He did not matter for this to work.

And so he played for hours and hours on end. It was only when Edwina came to wish him goodbye with a kiss to the cheek that made him flinch in surprise that he finally stopped with a discordant crash of notes. He apologized profusely and embraced her warmly before waving her off and sliding back into his seat. 

Unlike Fletcher he did not slump and instead remained cautious given the presence of their additional "guard."

"Do you think the job is doable for you, Mr. Truckett? Or is this beyond your abilities? There's no shame if it is. I know the games we play are very taxing here."

Theo furrowed his brow in concern but decided against pushing the issue. Instead he chose to sit down at his piano to play. While Neal worked his magic, Theo played his. He picked something soft and soulful to play, a piece that spoke of gentle hope. It was hardly fitting for the time of year but was less mournful than some of the things he had been playing of late. He kept his fingers light upon the keys so as to not derail the conversations around him. But with his back to Fletcher he was kept from staring at the man for better or for worse.

Was he sick? His coat still needed repairing or replacing now with the damaged warming charms upon it. Add the drinking and the having barely slept the night before and of course Fletcher had caught some nasty humor that sought to settle into his lungs and bones. He would have to remember later to order up some tea for drinking and herbs for burning to help the man fight it out of his system before it could take deeper root.

To the side, Edwina continued her lessons. She relaxed quickly in the other man's presence and seemed completely unbothered by the fact that her fiancé was not only right there but deaf to her advances. In fact she took Theo's bait easily and was soon making jokes and lightly touching Neal with a sense of companionship. She shoved his shoulder or tapped his hand, laughed too loud or too long and continuously leaned in towards him as if hanging on his every word. 

"No, not at all. Why don't you come sit by me and I'll show you the letters. You...can read normally yes?"

Theo bit his tongue and closed his eyes for a moment to not have to process the conversation happening in front of him. When he reopened them it was to see all eyes on Fletcher and the man in the throes of another coughing fit.

"Are you...alright? Would you like some water?"

"I should hope so," he replied. "It is meant to be my main language. Now Mr. Truckett see that you learn well unlike Mr. Daw here. Lady Obower is practically a master at this point in her skills. It would be beneficial to me if my staff could actually communicate with me properly after all."

"Oh Teddy," she simpered, "wouldn't you rather keep it just our little thing?"

"And hurt poor Mr. Truckett's feelings? Of course not my dear. He looks like he's actually pay you plenty mind in his lessons unlike some people."

"Aneisha has been doing it for years. Perhaps your guards should train in it," he teased lightly before turning to a blushing Edwina. "Your food my lady." Theo bowed and swept an arm as if it was him that had made and carried it all up making the woman giggle. 

"Thank you," she signed back making him smile wider and more genuine. He took a seat at a small table with her where they could sit and talk.

While the pair signed in silly conversation, his eyes could not help but watch as Neal moved about the room again before taking a seat near Fletcher. He could not watch long and instead focused on gently redirected Edwina's hands into the correct positions for the words she was trying to say. His touch lingered as he smiled tenderly at her. 

"You're improving. You could teach, Mr. Truckett at this rate, couldn't she Mr. Daw?"

"I don't know. I kind of like the idea of making my dearest wait. Something about suffering making the heart grow fonder? Oh or was that absence?"

He grinned impishly with a knowing smirk as he passed Fletcher and lead him out of the kitchen. "Do try to not scarf it all down though. I happen to like the eggs."

His eyes watered slightly but he beamed brightly at the other man. He thought he had already fallen for Fletcher but with every word and every touch he fell all the harder for him with no safety net to catch him. It was dangerous. It was beautiful. And he was greedy for more. 

He took the time needed to settle, to straighten clothes and hair, to soothe the flush of his cheeks and return to mild-mannered retired deviant Theodore Archer instead of passionate and starving for affection Theo the Tart.

Aneisha was piling up trays in Fletcher's arms by the time he was finally able to meet in the kitchen. "Kenna," he laughed, "how many do you expect to feed? There's only two of us for tea this morning."

"Her Ladyship demanded you were fed for having missed breakfast, sir. Caused a right mess of things it did. Not to worry Mr. Theo, we'll have it all sorted for you shortly."

"I'm so sorry, Kenna," he murmured looking entirely out of place in his pretty clothes and utterly guilty. Theo was quickly waved off though as the women continued their hustle and bustle around him. He peeked over at Fletcher and just the sight was comfort enough to make the smallest of smiles return to his face. He wasn't alone in this anymore. 

Theo would be lying if he didn't admit that Fletcher being a gentleman and retreating didn't sting him a bit. He felt like he had done something wrong and was being cruel to the man. Like he really was a tart and just kept leading him on and shutting him down. He didn't mean or want to be a tease, at least not right now and like this.

"I'm sorry," he murmured while misbehaving further and drawing him into a tight hug. "Not trying to be a tease. Go. I'll...settle down. Anyone asks I'm looking for...," he paused and looked at the shelving,  "...a candle?"

He smacked Fletcher's chest lightly. "No, none of that. We are going to be good so that this can be a thing that continues instead of ending right here."

Still he leaned into Fletcher's touch like a man equally thirsty and needy. A deep blush flushed his cheeks once more as if the mere mention of it brought it right back to say hello.

"It's your cocky little smirk that does the same for me. I see it and I want—" Theo cut off abruptly, blushing deeper and looking quite bashful. "Nevermind. Are you going to be alright today?"