@Draconian -------------------
The quest to the damned church shouldn't have taken so long, but it seemed like there were many opposing the 'God of War's' path to redemption. And the longer it took, and further they strayed from their path, the more obvious his companion's situation became clear.
She was full, round and near ready to burst when they came upon the small shack- near deteriorating along a forested path and half buried in the falling snow. Who could have predicted it'd be another shitty year for the snow? Or that he'd be traveling with a heavily pregnant woman in a blizzard?
He wasn't fond of this weather, but it beat the damn scorching summers sweating buckets in his armor-
But sometimes it was way worse when the cold chilled you to the bone.
He pushed open the half fallen door with a grunt, and had to use his weight to prop it up before he gestured for the holy woman to head inside. Once inside, he began to dust himself off of the snow, but much clung to his heavy beard and dark hair, plastering around him like a wild main as he moved over towards a nearly collapsed hearth and swore. Then he began to work at removing the debris. They'd need a fire. They couldn't go much longer without some sort of fucking heat.
This was truly misery.
Sunniva had had to pull every string she had in order to get this place close to a small town - It hadn't been occupied, it was still far out of the way, but she'd had letters written to her family. Letters written to her overseer. A momentary pause in the journey so she could take care of some business that was almost up - in addition to that the snow was looking particularly bad this year.
She entered the room, fingers running around all the walls, finding the pillars and taking careful steps to memorize the area and not trip over anything. She hadn't felt terribly maternal this entire time. The baby had been kicking. She'd been taking care of herself as best she could but... Sunniva pulled her jacket closer and fixed her gloves so chill didn't sit in. There was no excitement. No anticipation. Nothing she'd heard other women experience while expecting.
Sunniva assumed her situation was wholly unique and as long as no one found out, everything would eventually be fine. Her hand moved over her stomach after a particularly hard kick and she sighed and rubbed the spot. "A child from any other man surely wouldn't kick so hard," She muttered, having done her lap of the shack to get a general idea of the room she had to work with. They needed a fire and those needed wood. Dropping her bag - filled with their rations and her other clothing.
"Maybe there's a storehouse nearby - if it's abandoned, perhaps they left some wood?" She said softly, hood up before stepping outside again, meaning to trail her way around the outside, though the snow was heavy and before long she was near up to her waist in the snow - piled along the side of the building, panting heavily and just doing her best to push a path around in the snow.
Krah hadn't paid much attention to his charge- if one could call her that. In fact, the roles were much in reverse. He was technically her charge. But as it stood, his ego was bigger than the country itself, and he would never submit. However, once he had cleared the area around the hearth he turned to comment about the kicking babe when he paused- realizing the woman had gone outside.
She hadn't gotten far when he simply picked her bodily up, as if she weren't near bursting with pregnancy and weight, and carried her back inside without so much as an explanation. He dumped her beside a rotting bench and shook his head.
"And just what the hell do you think you're doing out there?"
Sunniva sputtered and kicked her leg a time or two in surprise before she was lifted up and carted away, her hood fell from her head and her tumble of red hair nicely done in a braid settled over her shoulder when she was plonked back down.
"Krah!" Sunniva grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting, "I was... Seeing what the outside of the building was like!" She moved her hands to smack snow off her coat and pants, "I can barely run right now, what if I needed to get somewhere quickly? I was...Making a path." She scrubbed her hands against her face and played with her fingers, "I'm just trying to find things to do here. I can't very well just sit and do nothing."
Krah rolled his eyes.
"You can play in the snow later. I'll clear the path, but with how heavily the snow is falling, even if both of us had our eyes, it'll be rough keeping up."
He adjusted his fur trimmed jacket and gave an itch through his beard, which by now was coarse and thick and needed a groom. As did the rest of his hair- he looked like a wild man. Then again... this was Krah- most could debate he was.
He went about fetching up a shovel.
"I'll be back. Try to make yourself useful and find us some dry wood or planks or something in here to start a fire."
Play in the...?
Sunniva had to keep herself from sputtering in anger. Her mouth opened to protest, to say she could help and would help but it died on her lips. It burned her, but he was right. She hadn't been playing in the snow but she was already tired from the few steps she'd taken and she just pouted instead.
She hadn't even noticed that he said he was going to clear a path. Unprompted.
Sunniva removed her gloves and put them in a pocket, hands moving over broken furniture which, while cold didn't seem soaked. To her pleasure it had been a set. The table didn't exist anymore from what she could feel, but perhaps the last guests used that to light a fire.
It didn't take a long time for her to move the broken chairs to the general area of the hearth. She moved her pack closer to it and, finding herself bored, began to clean the cabin-shack as best she could of debris. Slowly, there was a pile of broken furniture, splintered wood and other things piled up beside the door. The movement also helped keep her warm. Win-win.
When Krah returned, he stomped the snow from his boots and shook the flakes from his hair. Then he turned towards the piles of wood and grinned.
"Seems you're useful after all."
He brushed past her, tracking snow, and began to fuel the hearth with the splintered up wood. Then he lit a match, stroking the fire to get it going... and soon the room began to heat up.
It was a little smokey, but better than nothing.
"I'll go check the chimney. See if we can't direct more of this damn smoke outside. Be sure the place don't catch on fire while I'm gone "
He disappeared to do just that, returning a little while later, kicking snow off his boots again.
"Fucking old birds nest clogged half the chimney up. Smoke should clear soon."
It would be so easy to just curl her fingers and dig her nails into his eyes.
So easy.
Sunniva listened to the instructions Krah gave her about making sure the place didn't catch on fire while he was gone. The sound of him outside was oddly loud the sound of dust, dirt and debris falling down the chimney into the smokey room distracted her but it didn't feel like it was getting any hotter than it should be. Which hopefully meant the fire hadn't spread outside it's home.
"Thank you," she said curtly, head down while she contemplated on what exactly to do now.
"If you clear a space on the ground for us I can set out a place to sleep," she spoke after getting up and drawing her fingers over the walls, taking careful steps to familiarize herself with the room. "Or I can do that, since you cleared the chimney and cleared a path, you can rest, if you like."
The man studied her for a moment, her pregnancy, and how late and ripe she was, was hidden well enough under her winter clothing. But he knew it was taking a toll on her and he simply grunted and began to do it himself.
"I got it. How the food rations lookin'?"
With the snow like this.. they might be stuck in the small hut for the week. And the snow didn't look like it was about to stop anytime soon.
Sunniva couldn't see but she'd kept careful stock of rations. It wasn't the best fare and she all but gorged herself when they were around fresh food. Her condition made her endlessly hungry and it was just willpower that kept her from snacking.
"I'll check," she said softly, tracing her fingers back to the pack where she knelt and counted the wax cloth wrapped items with her fingers. It was what she was expecting, "Enough to last a few weeks. Just hope the snow doesn't last." Sunniva stood up with a grunt and effort, braced on the wall.
She hated it. Sunniva moved a hand under her belly and snapped it away when she felt movement, it wouldn't do to get attached. Have the baby. Pretend it was just from the wilderness. Drop it off at a church. That was her plan.
"Thank you for the help," she said, voice breathy before she took another deep one to grab the bag with the rustic bedding."I miss real beds," she complained softly, moving closer to the heat of the fire and holding out an empty hand to warm her chilled fingers.
The larger man took stock of the place. For what was left of a bed, wasn't much. He frowned and set to work on preparing their bed rolls in front of the cleared sections before the hearth. He threw a few extra bits of his spare clothing to her side, to fluff it up a bit, then noticed the way she kept a.hold of her belly.
He sat and studied her a moment before asking,"You look about ready to burst. " he considered the length of their journey. No.. she shouldn't be due for another month.. wouldn't she?
He sat there, staring at her belly and poking at the fire they had made to keep warm.
Sunniva sat down, legs spread because they wouldn't do anything else and leaned back on her hands before deciding that was too uncomfortable and sat back up. She tilted her head at his comment and frowned.
"Its uncomfortable and I hate it," she said softly, running her hand over the bulge again. It was hard to think in terms of it being a baby instead of a problem. This whole thing ruined her life. Well, Krah ruined her life. Well... She ruined her own life, but Krah helped a lot.
Sunniva grew quiet, "any week now," she whispered, "maybe even any day. Babies aren't always punctual." If she could glare and narrow her eyes into a piercing look she would have, instead she channeled that into her voice, "but, knowing who the father is, I imagine this one will do whatever it wants whenever it wants, hm?" A quiet hiss of pain, like the babe protested wildly with one good kick and Sunniva rubbed at her belly again with a quiet apologetic sorry directed at it.
Maybe even any day.
Krah frowned as he watched her fuss over her stomach. He'd never actually stuck around for the duration of any pregnancy before. If he knocked up any other woman or whore for certain, how was he to know? The majority of the woman He'd bedded were loose with their morals- open legs and ready for a good time.
He wasn't a man to be careful either.
He began to wonder just how many bastards he had out there.
Any day now.
He studied her in the quiet of the room, fire crackling.
"You grew up with rich folk.. you ever think you'd get knocked up?" He considered where she had come from but... her parents had sent her away. Property of the church.
"Maybe Ansgar wanted you to have the bastard. "
Wasn't that what faith was about? Or some shit.
If there were eyes to roll she would have rolled them so hard she'd have shaken the shack they were in. Ansgar wanted her to have the child. Yeah, okay.
Still Sunniva sighed and moved closer to Krah, sitting anew with the side of her leg pressed to his. She followed his arm to grab his hand and pressed it to her belly. For the most part Sunniva hadn't let Krah anywhere near her since the meadow, so it was a strange sort of comfort she took with him so close and her making him touch her.
"I never wanted children. Turns out it's very easy to make them though." She moved Krahs hand to find the most active spot and held it there, growing quiet after a moment. "I know you don't believe that, neither of us wanted this and Ansgar could have giving this charge to someone in a better situation, this is a mistake and it will be fixed. The church loves mordecai and adhara, theres very little chance this child won't be one. They gain a mordecai, you and I continue like nothing happened."
Still Sunniva held his hand to her stomach and grew contemplative. Also his hand was really warm and it felt nicer than her small colder ones.
Krah grew quiet, but when her hand guided his to her belly, he bristled but allowed her to guide him. Then he felt it and a strange feeling surge inside his belly. It was a strange sort of exhilaration, especially to a man adept at war.
"My bastard would kick you all day.." he found himself mumbling.
He thought back to her words. She was just going to give it up to the church. That was the wisest choice. Krah was no father and she already belonged to the church.
"If you could have chosen your own cut in life.. where would you have found yourself?" He found himself asking. It was strange he ever asked anything like that... and still held a seriousness to his tone. Typically, he was egotistical 24/7.
But here...
No one was around. The world was trapping the pair inside with unforgiving terms. Perhaps he just felt.. tired. Or he never had the chance to speak in quiet like this.
Well.. it had been some time.
"That's a dangerous question," Sunniva said softly, finding she'd kept her colder hands over his warm one. Slowly, she nestled her side against Krahs, only for warmth she told herself, while she pondered. Where would she have found herself?
"Educated. Travel. Maybe meet someone wonderful, fall in love and then we'd go on adventures together," A juvenile answer but if all the wandering Sunniva has done taught her anything, it was her sense of wanderlust. Being cooped up in a church had her unhappy but out in the wilderness, she felt free, even if it was only pretend. Her hand remained on top of Krahs and she rested her head on his shoulder.
"I'd be free. Truly free. I wouldn't feel guilt for making a choice for myself because maybe someone in the church wouldn't agree with it." Sunniva sighed and knew her future didn't have any of those things. She'd go back, be sentenced to the library to dust and then never leave it. "I'd ask you the same, but you've selfishly been yourself forever. Whoring and cheating your way through the land, not a care in the world," there was a pause and she rest her hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze, "Have you ever had anyone love you before?" She smiled slightly, "I thought I did for a time. Surely I wouldn't do anything so depraved with someone I didn't love, even if we'd just met," She mocked herself, "Silly me."
It was interesting how she so easily labeled him under the very bravado he endorsed. How many years had he'd been 'The God of War' . His ruthlessness and mordecaism helped pave the path to the blood and fame he'd carved for himself.
Yet here he was, allowing this blind church woman to lead him west. They were heading to his 'salvation' whatever that was. For doing the one thing even a 'god' couldn't taint- speaking out against the god damn Grand Duke.
It unnerved him the man held this power over him, and he so willingly took the bait as one of his pawns. He didn't want to believe that was the truth of it..
But it was the truth of it. He had become a famous face and made so many gods damned mistakes that it was ironic the Grand Duke thought to reign him in.. put a leash on him, like a dog.
But where would he be without all that? Without the promise of glory and ego and all the sweet spoils of war.
But at the end, he was seen as nothing but a tool. And the tool obeyed.
Fuck.
The he considered what she said. Realizing a little late, the pain and irony of her words.
Love?
Had he ever loved?
He remembered her face, her laugh, her free spirited nature that almost rivaled his own. She had died the way she lived, and he supposed he taking up that continued mantel was a tribute to her in his own right.
She had been crass, a whore, quick at the booze and good with a sword.
"Well.. she wasn't like you, that's for sure," he replied gruffly, softly. He smiled in thought, fond of the memory.
Love.. sure women threw themselves at him. But they loved the idea of him. No body truly loved him. Love was too weak, too complicated.
She had made it complicated. And she had to go and die on him.
"I'm sorry I live up to my reputation, " he mused, an arm going around her, keeping her warm and close.
It didn't take any coaxing for Sunniva to cuddle in closer when Krah tucked his arm around her. She listened, her head on his chest and her hands resting in front of her.
She wasn't like you.
What was that supposed to mean? Sunniva frowned and grew quiet for a moment, bringing a hand to her lips to draw her thumb over the lower one in thought. What wasn't she? Maybe the confusion was that Krah remembered any women, let alone a singular one to compare her to. It gnawed at her for a moment, before she willed it again and let her hand drop.
Sunniva pat Krahs leg and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Sometimes reputations are just veils to hide behind. Being a White Lily means I'm virginal and chaste. Stoic. A devout follower of Ansgar," she sighed then and returned a kick of the babe with a soothing rub to her side. "We both know none of that is true about me," Sunniva, moving her hair over her shoulder to braid it, "maybe at one point it was... but not for a while now."
"Have you ever been yourself? Truly yourself? Or have you always chosen to be Krah The God of War," and while her voice definitely took on a tone when she said his name, it wasn't mocking. Perhaps an attempt to lighten the mood.
Krah was quiet, contemplative even as he stared out into the cold room. A fire crackled behind them.
"Does it matter?" He found himself asking after a time. "I am the God of war."
But even as he said it...
There had been a time he was not.
He had just been Krah. Just him.
But was he truly any different now?
"A title" Sunniva said, voice soft, taking Krahs hand and placing it on the underside of her belly because his were warmer and much bigger than her own. She leaned in closer to his side and pressed her cheek to his chest, giving a content sigh.
"Do you think they'll have a good life? Our child?" Sunniva frowned, trying to imagine being loved by parents. Having a choice in their future of what they'd do. Would they be a mordecai? An adhara like her? A talented artist? Blue eyes? Brown? "Do you know how many bastards you have or is this the first one you'll meet?" Was the much darker and less optimistic follow-up inquiry.
He remained quiet for a time, considering what she said. No, this wasn't the first bastard he'd meet. Other women were eager to make claims- most likely rightly so. He'd just.. laughed and let them live out their lives, raising his bastard without a second thought. He'd rarely returned to those areas, except if they were women at brothels. That was just result of their chosen profession. He'd likely have dozens of legitimate bastards out there if really thought about it.
This one... well, things here were obviously different. They.. had been forced together. What had the church expected? They couldn't be surprised- he had a pretty infamous reputation regarding women.
"The church will likely own them," he mused, staring at rhe ceiling.
Honestly, Sunniva had expected Krah to move away from her. He was so good at squirreling away from her like he was repulsed by her touch. She was so tired, all her bones hurt and she took the opportunity of Krah not moving away to snuggle in closer to him. Nothing was comfortable and she frowned slightly when he just said the truth.
The church would own her child.
Like she was exacting revenge, she found his other hand and placed it under her belly too. "Poor thing," She replied, using his hands to soothe the ache. "Maybe we should just... Not bring it to the church," Sunniva sighed, "Leave the baby at a regular orphanage."
Krah was still considering her other question- about him meeting one of his children for the first time. He looked down at her hand.. and his.. and at her stomach, where they both touched.
Then her comment pulled his thoughts away.
The words actually made him grin.
"You'd agree the church is that fucking terrible of a place to raise a child, eh?"
He then felt somwthing- and tensed-
It was coming from her belly- a movement- a kick from the child..
A kick from their child. It was really moving inside there.
"Bastard feels like it wants out of there already," he mused.
"Of course I would," She grumbled, getting more comfortable and relaxing against him. "I grew up there, it was horrible." Sunniva gave the top of his hand a squeeze and couldn't help but be amused by his commentary.
"Feels like it does, I'm just one big ache these days," She wasn't really sure what to anticipate and she had a lingering feeling she couldn't count on Krah to help. "What happens..." Sunniva swallowed, "What happens if it comes out soon? What will we do? There's a town nearby, right?"
Krah only half heard what she said, focusing on the feeling of the child kicking inside her womb. It was a fucking miracle how a damn baby could grow inside there- and he almost missed her question.
He tensed and looked up at her. A town nearby? That he wasn't sure- and did it matter? The weather was god awful ' they'd be fools to travel in it. He looked down again and seemed to only realize for the first time how swollen she was.
His lips drew into a line.
"Soon?" She would fucking have the baby here, wouldn't she. "If that's the case you'd likely pop out the thing right here. As it stands, we're not fucking going anywhere "