Theo wanted to stay. The cold and damp wasn't ideal for health but it wasn't the stifling misery of indoors either. Back inside he'd be trapped with their unsaid words and his anxiety. Fletcher did not seem any less bothered than when they had first left to come out here. In fact he looked worse.

Still Theo got to his feet without complaint. The other man couldn't go in without him and with how he had been coughing, the nobleman wasn't keen on testing to see whether or not he really was sick or soon would be.

"Yeah," he sighed, following Fletcher back into the house before heading up to his own room. He should have just stayed in bed. There were ample opportunities for him to do so and each time he left it, things got worse. Maybe he should just stay in bed forever. Or perhaps it was the bed that was the issue and he should never return to its warm comfort.

Instead though he opened his balcony doors and went back out into the cold. Soon they would be locked entirely until spring to keep the heat from escaping but for now he'd seek refuge here. The was caught it would be hell to pay but honestly, Theo was very far past caring anymore what his mother wanted or thought. He was just so tired. 

All it did was make the whole thing feel even more twisted up. Fletch wasn't comforted in the least by what Theo had said. And there was no one around to hear them in this far corner, and he wasn't at all convinced that the man was being honest — to either of them. But the whole day had rubbed them both wrong, and Theo clearly didn't want to talk about it just now, so he'd drop it. "Sure," he replied distantly. "Whatever you need."

He flicked his cigarette butt into the pail, where it fizzled out in the rainwater that had collected there. "Think I'll go in, then. I'm getting cold."

"I know it is. It's okay. Just...this is a conversation we will be having in the future. I'm not fulfilling your needs right now and I understand that. Yours may come to light again before I'm ready and it'll be what it'll be. I rather you be happy and comfortable than resenting me for needing time," he commented with a causal shrug.

"We'll figure it out just...I don't really want to have this conversation outside where we can be overheard if that's alright. I do want to have it though. I'm not shutting you down, you understand that right?"

Fletcher's face fell at how Theo had reacted. The man seemed so defeated by even the idea of him being with anyone else. Was that how this was going to go? In confessing how much he wanted Theo, had he unknowingly ran a nail into the coffin of his carefree days? Was it even Theo's business, this early in? He wondered if he'd backed himself into a corner and was now forced to choose between his love's needs and his own. That never ended well, in his experience. All it did was breed resentment. 

But...he'd said he'd stick by Theo. And he would. So he'd try.

"No, come on now. It was a joke, love. Just a joke. No need to be so down about it. I've stopped going anyways since Ash. You know that."

"Invite them for Yule dinner," he snorted, rubbing his face. "We'll think of something. We have some time still before the trap is sprung. And we may miraculously even be lucky. He may do his job and be done with it all."

Fletcher's teasing didn't have the intended effect however. The nobleman's shoulders dropped further and a sad expression flitted across his features before he was able to catch and quell it.

"There are other pleasure houses. And people who don't belong to a house. And people who aren't even in the business of pleasure. I'm sure if it came to it you'd still have plenty of options to suit your moods."

His reply was logical and calm but Theo could not meet his lover's eyes. It made him feel low knowing that he was unable to provide everything that Fletcher needed of him. But what concerned him further was the fact that as a wholly inexperienced lover himself, he may end up putting the man off intimacy with Theo entirely once they ever reached the point of laying fully with each other. They would cross that bridge when they got to it and with everything else going on, Theo didn't feel able to express such concerns. There were far more pressing matters to deal with than his current lack of sex life. 

"No, no, it's nothing. I'm fine. No need to fuss. Just a cough." Right on cue, the smoke triggered it again, and he scowled at his own bad timing, but carried on nevertheless. "Yeah. It'll need coin. Might be pretty steep, actually. They don't betray their own and they don't make a habit of selling their clients out. Dunno about records. I'm usually a bit preoccupied when I'm there. 

"I'll need to think on an angle for us. Some way to either get them to give it up willingly, or give me enough for some other lead. Might end up getting myself banned, which — " He stopped mid-sentence to wince at the thought of being cut off from a vice so completely. Then he raised an eyebrow at Theo and grinned. "Bully for you if that ever happens, ey? Your bastard man losing his whoring? Like Yule came early, I'm sure."

"Aye I imagine it all gets quite stagnant with the house being shut up for the winter. I'm sorry you're struggling with it. The healer in town might have a tonic that can help. I know he prescribes me one when the spring flowers first arrive and wreak havoc on my senses."

Theo did not answer until he was sat upon their bench with his back resting against the tree. The air was frigid but it helped to wake him up some and he turned his mind back to the topic at hand. Thoughts of Fletcher without apparel and stolen kisses could wait for their return indoors.

"I think talking at the Siren would be a good start. If it requires coin I will cover it. Find out if he has friends and connections as well. Do they keep client lists? Could you procure them if they did? Our blackmail may not be so much him as his wealthy clients who have been promised discretion."

Fletch leaned into Theo's touch for the first time since they'd come back from the piano room. "For a kiss? Or a smoke?" he joked with a sly tilt of the head. He drew away and let Theo's hand slide from his fingers. "You're right. We should be going. Can't get too caught up in this during the day or I'd never leave these rooms."

He led the way back out, careful to avoid being sighted by anyone but the staff. They passed down through the kitchen together, ducking out the servant's entrance and into the frigid afternoon. Fletch pulled his coat tighter around himself and shivered, and as the cold air hit his lungs, he could feel the cough returning. He let it out into his sleeve again. "Bloody hell," he muttered, clearing his throat and trying to get a handle on it. "Swear it's the dust in that place." He shook it off and continued on across the grounds until at last they reached that same old corner with the bench and the pail.

Fletch wasted no time in lighting up, or in continuing the subject that they'd touched on earlier. "Right. So you tell me, then: how do you want me to dig up dirt on him? Far as I see it, there's The Siren and fuck all else for ways in. Could always start with the women there, though. Talking. Not sleeping with 'em," he clarified.

He wobbled on his feet some looking drained but relieved. Gently he moved closer and embraced Fletcher again. "Promise to keep yourself. Promise to always return. I will not consider it leaving me otherwise. You're equally stuck with me I'm afraid."

Theo pulled back enough so he could kiss the other man tenderly. "Let's get you that walk and smoke  before that list of kisses is fully explored. I know you're likely practically rabid for one by now."

"Mmm...you know I'm joking, don't you? About the running and hiding part. They kick me, I'm not leaving you here like this. I'll find a way back. Maybe that's a chat for another time, though." Fletcher caught Theo's soft, nimble hand and held it in his own. He drew it towards him and pressed his lips against the man's knuckles like an unspoken apology. "I'm not leaving you," he repeated, more earnestly this time. "I'm not losing you. You're stuck with me. Terrible decision on your part, really," he added with a little smirk and a twinkle in his eye. "As for kissing my arse, well. I can think of a few other places further up on the list before we come around to that. Can't you?"