Bricc of Ages: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mountain (Snarg)

Hyacinthus · January 01, 2024, 03:03:28 PM

"Hell yeah! Now you're talking my language!"

A powerful, padded gauntlet swung forward and patted Snarg right on the shoulder as he turned to lead the way, with Siege only afterward mentally reminding herself that he was human-- she couldn't exactly go around swatting at humans as if they were also suits of armor-- or inside them. "Knew I saw some good in you. You can't BEGIN to imagine how much my last client talked up you sand folk and your hospitality-- and your dancers!"

Human figures fascinated Siege. She was built with a... less than agile form, but most humans were more bone than meat, in her eyes. And the slimmer they were, the more flexible and agile they tended to be. You could practically squeeze them and they'd pop like cute little water baloons!

"Creep."

"That's your fault. Stop listening to my thoughts!" She fired back at her occupant, right back to being annoyed. "Anyway, I don't think I caught your name, guy. Unless you don't care what you're called-- I can call you honey-roll, if you want, guys like that kind of talk, right?" Siege jokingly suggested, one-sidedly deciding that she and the man who'd just made an attempt on her armor were now on fairly good terms. Buddies, even!

Kiri inwardly cringed. No amount of torture as a prisoner of war equated to having to be present for any of Siege, ever.

Goldie · January 02, 2024, 08:24:14 AM

Snarg stumbled forward with the smack to his shoulder and only years of disciplined training kept him from being completely toppled. His shoulder ached and he knew there was likely to be quite the bruise underneath his leather paddings. That was the bad thing about leather - it didn't provide the same protection as steel, but is also didn't encumber its wearer either. Generally speaking it helped deter arrows and a swipe of a blade, but he felt every blow.

"Snarg." He growled back, "Not honey roll. Fuck."

He wanted to take a swing at her just for that. Perhaps Kiri would be the better option between the two. Perhaps Siege was simply guiding him to have the other spirit just run him through so he didn't have to deal with her anymore.

With his mind made up, he kept his blade sheathed and continued to trudge through the sand. It would take them some time to make it back, but Gods he wanted to be drunk if this was now his life.

Hyacinthus · January 02, 2024, 10:53:14 AM

Siege couldn't help but let out a bellowing laugh in response to Snarg's venomous disposition— which realistically sounded less like a bellowing laugh and more like a fit of girlish giggling, completely unsuited for the massive suit of metal that she was. "Snarg! I love it. Your name sounds like how you look, like me!"

It was a compliment, even if it didn't seem like one. Siege took just about all of the world on her sleeve— insults about how she broke doors on her way in them, how she sake to the bottom of the seas whenever she took boat trips. She was who she was, and she was damn proud of who she was. Her skin was as thick as steel.

"You look like a fool."

"Fuck off. You look like nothing, so ha!"

"That... what?"

"You don't. I mean, like, no one can see you, so you don't really look like anything. Right?"

"Haven't you seen me? Haven't your foes, whose heads I've taken in your moments of weakness, seen me?"

"Well... yeah, but they're dead, and I technically don't have eyes, so..."

It was going to be a long, long walk to the city.

Goldie · January 03, 2024, 06:58:13 AM

Snarg didn't know what else to call it – bickering? The two spirits acted like siblings who had been fighting and their parents forced them to wear the same sweater until they could get along. But...well...they were stuck together a lot longer than kids in the same shirt. Fuck how annoy must that be?

But listening to them made him pause – mentally, not physically, he wasn't about to stay out in the sand longer than he needed. Sand was terrible. Sand got everywhere and he could already feel the scrapes and blisters forming on the back and sides of his feet from chafing. The entire process was fucking awful and now, being so close to one of his many caches in the desert, he was forced to turn around and go back.

But this Kiri...she had been unleashed before and destroyed Siege's enemies. Did that make them friends? Could Siege regenerate and then Kiri was back in her prison? There were so many questions that he didn't even know how to begin to answer – he certainly wasn't going to ask.

It also likely meant he needed to be nice to Siege.

Like fucking stupidly nice.

"Faster. Need a drink." He growled again and picked up the pace while ignoring the burning in his legs that sand-walking gave.

Hyacinthus · January 03, 2024, 01:41:22 PM

"You can say that again. Ugh, I could put down a damn brewery right about now-- this heat is insane. Dunno how you sand folk do it, day in and day out!"

Kiri eventually gave up on arguing with Siege, having remembered that the singular brain cell she had developed after eons of climbing out of that pit, had a tendency to do incredibly stupid things while distracted. Like... fall into a pit. Instead, she decided her time would be better spent continuing the training of her mind and body-- and so she quietly began to meditate, blocking out the outside world and focusing on the refinement of the magics that she'd created over the many years she'd spent in solitude.

Siege could feel this, in her own way-- Whenever Kiri started doing her mental training, she got this weird, wooshy, wibbly-wobbly feeling, like butterflies were fluttering all throughout her suit. Deadly butterflies that could decapitate a dragon with a single sword stroke. It served as both a stark reminder to the armor not to truly, deeply antagonize the warrior within her, as well as a 'green light' for her to relax-- When Kiri did her meditations, she blocked just about everything out, even Siege. She could chat in peace now.

"Thank armor god-- I think she's meditating now. Phew-- I can always tell when she's getting pissed with me, and she's been particularly pissy today, hahaha!" The giant suit of steel and straps was far more relaxed in his voice and gestures on that note; As if a great weight had been lifted from it's shoulders... Or pauldrons? Whatever. "I think she gets excited when I meet new friends; all the head-chopping talk doesn't really come up when we're alone, y'know? Like she's waiting for the perfect opportunity to break out of me and kill folks-- isn't that weird?"

Siege Armor, expert at making people feel comfortable in her presence.

Goldie · January 05, 2024, 04:11:31 AM

Snarg listened intently while doing his best to stay seemingly aloof and annoyed. This was by far turning out to be the most interesting day of his entire life - and that was saying something for a man of his past and profession.

"How do you drink?" He decided to ask the easy question first. He wanted to know more about the warrior trapped inside, but this felt like a topic more easily broached once they were more familiar with each other. Also he didn't know if Siege truly knew what she was talking about. For all Snarg knew, Kiri was still there listening...

Waiting...

He kept walking as he waited for a response. The city was growing bigger by the minute, though the desert was still dangerously hot. He took a swig from his canteen and brushed the sweat from his brow.

Hyacinthus · January 06, 2024, 03:54:40 PM

If Siege could raise an eyebrow at the question, she would. Alas-- no eyebrows. Because no eyes. "The same way you do? With my mouth. I hope?" She explained, a bit confused as to why she even had to explain such a thing. At least, she was for a little while. It wasn't until an uncomfortably long silence had passed between the two in transit that the giant suit of armor remembered that she was, in fact, a giant suit of armor-- the question wasn't weird at all, from his perspective!

"Oh, shit! You mean, like-- Oh, I gotcha. Uh, hm. I uh... I dunno? Like, I dunno where it goes." She had to admit, this was the first time she'd even considered thinking about it. She just liked drinking-- primarily with friends. It was fun, and who didn't like having fun?

She tapped at the face-guard on her helmet and cheekily continued. "I'd give you a peek under the hood, but I'm not that easy-- you'll have to work for it." It was uncanny how unfitting the voice behind the armor was, compared to the... well, walking metal wall that was the armor. It wasn't even a battle-hardened, world-sharpened voice-- it was that of an average young woman with a little too much energy to spare-- like a spoiled wife-to-be or a middle-class lass who'd not known the horrors of reality. Which made it even weirder when she cursed up a storm. "Ohhh-- Is that it, up ahead!? Fucking finally-- I thought I'd melt before I found civs again!"

Like so.

Goldie · January 07, 2024, 06:48:02 PM

Again all Snarg could do was stare. Well, not at Siege, but rather at the sand in front of him that made way for the city that was steadily growing as they approached. The whole idea of a suit of armor drinking...

And then it going nowhere? Or somewhere? Or...just...where?

"So...do you get drunk?"

Well that was a question. He sincerely hoped not considering the crazed warrior held within her.

The sand was giving way to paved roads. They had arrived. Now just to find a tavern. He could already feel the eyes of the locals on him, hear the whispers chittering up and down the streets.

Hyacinthus · January 09, 2024, 05:26:04 PM

"Hah-- it might surprise you to know, but I have a pretty high drinking tolerance. In fact, I could probably drink you under the table if I put my mind to it! Or, uh. Stomach?" It was as confident an answer as Siege could muster, given the fact that even SHE didn't exactly know the truth. Sure, she'd passed out once or twice before while drinking-- but she couldn't remember what either happened or lead up to that happening, so who was to say! Maybe it all went to Kiri, and she was the one that got drunk in her place!

She was almost positive this was not the case, but maybe!

As Siege's heavy metal greaves finally collided with paved stone, she almost felt like she'd burst into tears. How long had it been since she'd been in a city? Probably not since... what, Ketra? Too damn long, however long it was! She, unlike her drinking buddy to be, was completely oblivious of the odd looks they were getting-- primarily because when one looked like her, you kinda drew gazes everywhere, every time.

"What do you drink, anyway? You an ale guy? Fine wine? Basilisk blood? Oh-- don't try that if you've never tried that. Gross as all get out. It'll knock you right on your ass, though!" She paused for a moment, before continuing with a oddly cheerful "Might actually kill you, though?" At least, it didn't kill her. And as far as she was concerned, that meant it probably wouldn't kill anyone else. Probably.

Goldie · January 10, 2024, 10:00:59 AM

"I wouldn't expect some of your....size....to be a light weight." He grunted back as she continued to regale him with lists of her past drinks.

This was crazy. She was armor! And yet here he was talking to her like she was a fucking normal human or...or something. He didn't even know anymore! What had his life become? He couldn't fight her or risk unleashing the Kiri warrior, but also she was literally just armor. There was no way to stab and kill something that was empty. He was also certain she'd either squish him beneath her thumb or he'd be so mortally wounded after defeating her that fighting just wasn't fucking worth it.

"There." He pointed to a little drab establishment, only just now wondering if the stares they were attracting had less to do with him and more to do with her, "Cheap. Keep their mouths shut."

He ran his eyes slowly from her feet to her helm, "....outdoor seating..."

Hyacinthus · January 11, 2024, 03:26:38 PM

"Good idea! A few drinks in the sun, what's better than that!?" Siege replied quite cheerfully, completely misreading Snarg's... 'suggestion'. Or ignoring it. She was so happy to not only find a pub, but to have a drink with someone at that! So happy that she had nearly forgotten that drinks cost money— which she hadn't yet provided.

Not a problem though! Wasn't like she was some broke bish. Instead, as they made their way toward the outdoor seating of the thankfully-quaint pub, she collected a nearby large, clay pot filled with soil on the street leading toward the pub— without really asking anyone if that was okay— and proceeded to drop it off right in front of one of the pub's tables, knocking the chair that was in it's spot aside rather clumsily.

In her defense, better knocked over and aside than suffering the full weight of her fortified bakery.

"Alright! Flag someone down, I'm ready to drink until the sun sets! Barmaid— ales, whatever you sell! Gotta warm up!" Oh she was positively brimming with excitement now, "seated" at the table and gesturing for Snarg to do the same. It was... almost cute? If she wasn't... Y'know. Death knight siege armor.

Goldie · January 12, 2024, 11:21:07 AM

Snarg had been in the city long enough, and to this establishment more often than not, that he didn't even need to order anything before a cup of hard spirits was placed in front of him. He barely grunted by way of thank you before raising the cup to his lips and downing it. It had to be at least five or six shots in that one gulp, but he didn't care. Snarg was literally sitting with a giant suit of armor about to share a few drinks. If he wasn't completely wasted in the next twenty minutes he was doing something wrong.

The server took the cup with a blink before running off to get another.

Another cup was placed before him and, as we went to raise it to his lips again, the barkeep himself came out and pushed it away from his face.

"Calm down, Beast." He growled, "Can't have the savior of our little city dying of alcohol poisoning."

Snarg blinked.

"What did you just say?"

The burly bar keep turned towards Siege and eyed her with a raised eyebrow, "If you're a friend of Beast, you drink for free."

Hyacinthus · January 12, 2024, 03:03:45 PM

"BEAST!?"

Oh, that did it. Siege practically doubled over in laughter, slamming the table with her fist-- thankfully not hard enough to cause any damage to it. "Beast! What a nickname! It's so perfect for you, now that I think about it!" She somehow managed to get those words out in the form of something resembling a sentence in the midst of her gigglefit, before stopping to take a few deep breaths. Which... Like, why would armor need to... whatever.

"Well I appreciate the hospitality, 'keep! I'll have what he's having!" Ever the bad influence, Siege had no idea what exactly was in Snarg's cup in the first place. One would assume it was pretty strong, given that little alcohol poisoning quip, but that just made her all the more excited, in truth. Maybe he was pretty good with his ales and alcs after all! "Hell, double it-- If it can't knock him on his ass, then it probably can't knock me on mine!"

Goldie · January 13, 2024, 07:19:23 AM

A low growl grumbled in Snarg's chest. This wasn't...he wasn't...Hakeshna he wasn't a fucking savior of anything. He took a job and he got paid, that was how life worked. He didn't make any big decisions and didn't question the instructions. He was hired to burn down a factory so he fucking burned it down at the exact time he was told and didn't even check to see if it was empty.

He probably burned people alive.

How the fuck were they calling him savior. He was a monster.

He grabbed the mug back from Ian - the barkeep - and slammed it down in defiance.

"Another."

Hyacinthus · January 13, 2024, 12:54:09 PM

"Well, hold on a minute-- don't just gloss over it!"

Siege leaned over a bit, the plates of her armor making an uncomfortable grating sound as they shifted accordingly. Now she was interested even more-- Snarg was CLEARLY not a fan of the nickname, or seemingly even the reverence he was looked upon with. Aww, was he really one of those shy, goody-two-shoes hero-types deep down?

"Now I wanna know the story-- What's Beast? How'd you get that nickname-- You some kinda monster? You beat up a bunch of guys all at once? You fuck animals, or something?"

Depending on the human, that probably would warrant a title, right? She'd once heard a tale of a man and a pair of dragons-- but it was always hard with people, telling if stories were true or not.

Goldie · January 13, 2024, 04:42:59 PM

"Fuck off." He growled again, face in a deeply embedded scowl that would add more lines to his already heavily lined features. Another drink was in front of him, and Siege, and it was gone in a swig once again.

He was drinking too quickly. He knew he needed to slow down, but he was pissed off and alcohol helped deaden everything.

"Ask me again and I'll rip you limb from limb, go it?" He wiped his face with the back of his arm.

"He helped get rid of the factory." Ian had returned and replaced Snarg's cup. He took a massive swig and then coughed and glared even more angrily at the barkeep.

"Water." Ian informed him, "drink up or no more." Then he turned back to Siege, "Said he was only in it for the coin, but no one jumps on that kind of job so readily if they don't believe in it. Wasn't much coin, either. Y'know? We've been trying to force these merchant folks out of our city for years and they keep coming back. Now? I think they'll think twice and us normal folk can finally live in piece with our livestock and textiles."

Hyacinthus · January 17, 2024, 04:28:37 PM

"...Wait, him?"

The incredulous expression on her non-existent face could just as easily be heard in the armored... armor's voice as she shifted her gaze toward her drinking buddy. "You're kidding! He's some kinda goddamn hero? Well what the hell, I'll drink to that!"

And drink she did— the cup in front of her quickly lifted and knocked back as if it were apple juice. In that same motion, Siege lifted the visor of her helmet, revealing... well, it was hard to tell what it revealed. There was naught but darkness there— intense, pitch-black darkness, as if the sun refused to shine inside. The faintest trace of what almost seemed like a human face might've possibly been visible— a ghastly silhouette, or a shadow of a person... but given how many cups in Snarg already was, and the quickness that she downed the cup with, who could say for sure?

"Mmm— that's not bad! A little light on the kick, but it goes down easy enough!" She complimented the bartender, gently (for Siege at least) setting the cup back down— a stark contrast to her HEROIC friend. She giggled a bit at the thought— here she thought she had the guy all figured out!

"Kicking merchant asses and taking names— all altruistic-like, huh? But Beast is a heck of a weird nickname for that, yeah? I'd have called you, I dunno, Snarg the Savior! Or the Merchant Masher! Or Ted!" She paused for a moment before laughing again. "Bahahahahaha! Oh, fuck, you could never pull off Ted in a thousand lifetimes, sorry."

Goldie · January 17, 2024, 04:52:25 PM

Ian laughed and Snarg seethed through gritted teeth, lifting the water to his lips like it pained him. He had already had a good amount to drink and knew it was about to hit him like a ton of bricks, but water just wasn't doing anything for how he was feeling now.

"Oh, Beast was given by a little girl who lives a few streets over. Took one look at him and didn't care about his actual name - said he looked like a beast the way he scowls all the time and the scars and such. But what really sealed the deal..."

Ian leaned in like he was about to tell the best secret of all time.

"Beast here refused to tell her he didn't like it. She heard he was upset by the nickname and came to apologize and he told her it was ok. Big ol' softy this one!"

Snarg couldn't take it anymore. He dumped the rest of the water onto the ground and shoved the now empty cup into Ian's hand.

"It's gone." He growled, "Bring me another."

Oh this was going to be a long day.

Hyacinthus · January 19, 2024, 03:34:24 PM

"NO!" Siege practically screamed in disbelief, nearly falling out of her 'chair'. If she had eyes, they'd be boggling out of her helmet at this point-- halfway across table, pointed directly at her curmudgeonly companion. She was well and truly, as the young adventurers these days said, shooketh.

And how could she not be? This guy? The fella that tried to kill her a little while ago!? HE was a pushover!? The might've fainted, fallen right apart at that revelation had she the ability to. Granted, that would probably also mean releasing Kiri, who would probably kill everything in sight, and THAT would mean no free drinks... she had to hold it together.

"Oh my god! Awwwwwwww, that's the cutest thing I've heard somebody as crazy as him do! You're actually a little softy!" She practically cooed, somewhere between maddeningly amused and genuinely surprised. She didn't know whether to laugh, question his mental health, or steal the next drink the bartender brought out from him and down both-- Then again, just from the look on his face, she could tell he probably needed it more than him. That didn't mean she was going to let up in any way, of course! "Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place? I would never have so disrespectfully asked to share a drink with the great MR. BEAST! Savior of children everywhere!" She proclaimed, bending over the table a bit in a mock-bow, showing her deepest respects.

Goldie · January 20, 2024, 06:40:49 AM

He knew he needed to slow down. He knew Ian was right and this was going to make him sick, but he just couldn't take it. He needed to not be himself anymore and just block out everyone around him.

He could just stab the barkeep, but...that...was wrong. No, it was free. He wasn't getting paid to kill anyone today so no one would get killed. Instead he would sit there like a fool until the alcohol consumed him and dropped his sorry soul into the depths of darkness.

The drink was gone.

The world spun dangerously with the simple movement of throwing back his head.

"Shut Th'fuck up both o'ya." He slurred, the first shots all hitting at once and he held his cup up again for another refill. He was still standing so he wasn't done yet.