Spirits of the Earth

OOC: Tags to @Rhi-Rhi !

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You're not suited for the rage of war- Pack up, go home, you're through....

How could he think he was soldier material? Nearly a decade had passed since Killian Gryst was the green newbie eager to join the army, make a change in the world. Now all he had was a few shoddy sword skills he couldn't use with his lack of a second arm.

He was in the prime of his life still- But he felt so useless to all. Coming home with the Grand Duke's army and being called a 'hero' made him feel all the more emptier inside. He didn't know what sort of man he was carving out to be, but he knew it was no hero.

He never took to drink, but he was seeing now why others had done it. He felt as if he had lost two loves already- One could be dead,... so could the other. Though he prayed feverishly both were still alive, still okay; he couldn't help but feel like a coward for returning to the south.

Worse yet, he actually had survived to return to the capital, or rather, he was on his way back to the capital. The army he was traveling with was resupplying and their first stop was in Uthlyn. Strange how the army wasn't even here for a day and they were off again.

He didn't go with them, opting to stay behind. He wasn't a useful soldier anyway. He could collect his pay later.

The pretty bar maid kept things 'nice'. But that's all it was. She tried to make small talk with him, but was quickly brushed aside when Killian grew quieter when she tried to ask about his arm. She whispered back to some of the other workers there, pitying the young soldier that had lost his arm.

"Seems he also lost his soul."

"Or his heart," another said. The barmaid turned to her, blinking.

"You think he lost his love?"

"Sure seems it. Or his love for life... The war does that to a man. And the winters these men survived are just as awful."

The barmaid thought this over, but then saw another soldier enter the place. She was quick to greet him. Soldiers deserved her prompt attentions. Even the full 'armed' ones.

"You 'ere for the beer lad? Rooms are full up, but the soups hot and good."

The war had been hard on Faolán. He'd lost friends, he'd lost faith, and some days he struggled with what he really believed. But through it all, he had survived. He was one of the lucky ones; so many of his companions didn't get back up at the battle's end, but clearly Ansgar was looking out for him. Ansgar had kept him safe, time and time again, even when he faced extra dangers over the years. Growing up had only increased those risks, for his his chest had grown and his hips had widened, a subject of distress for him, but his chest was still easily bound and his hips, at least, were still slim and boyish. That would have been harder to hide.

His monthly bleeding never got easier. At least on the battlefield no one noticed a little extra blood.

But somehow, he'd kept his secret a secret, though he still got teased for a pretty-boy that never even sprouted peach fuzz. He could deal with that, though, and the teasing had grown mostly good-natured after he proved his worth on the field, time and time again. It hadn't been easy, and accomplishing his dream was...not quite the dream he'd thought it would be. Soldiering wasn't glamorous. He'd nearly been killed, and had taken lives of his own. He'd seen things no one should.

And he kept soldiering on, knowing in his heart it was what he was born to do. For himself, for his country, for his family. It had been ages since he'd been back home, but he sent them money and felt better knowing they could live more comfortably--and knowing he was fighting to keep them safe.

It had been ages since he had last been in Uthlyn, and his regiment had only been there a day. It was to be a short reprieve, for them to rest, refuel, and keep their spirits up. Most of the soldiers went straight to the taverns and brothels to burn some stress, and Faolán--well, he needed a drink, too.

And so he headed to one of his favorites, stepping inside to be greeted by a barmaid and smiling at her in greeting. "Thanks! I'm just here for a drink," he said, pushing some strawberry blond hair from his eyes, before he headed for the bar--and blinked.

The one-armed man caught his eye for the obvious reasons, a mixture of shock and sympathy coiling within him--but as he drew closer, his heart beat a little faster, his chest tightening, because...no way...no freakin' way.

Breathless, unable to believe his eyes, Faolán slid into the seat next to his, leaned over to peer into the man's face, and felt his eyes grow saucer wide. Killian looked different, not just because of his arm--older, battle-weary, subdued, but God, that was him. It had to be.

"Killian? Is that...is that you? Please tell me that's you so I don't look crazy here." And he hoped he would recognize him, too, knowing he had changed a lot as well--older, stronger, a healed scar sliced across his cheek and nose, but still the same old Faolán.

The voice was foreign to him, and the bubbly mannerism as well. He barely lifted his head to address the other except to turn and look away.

"Sorry, I came here to drink alone."

He was in no mood to be social, and any and all ties to the war he'd rather forget. He knew not too many soldiers he had ever gotten close to... Except one, and that one he nearly forgot. But something prompted him to look up, and his blue eyes flashed a moment in recognition as he sat up stiffly in his chair.

"F... Faolán?"

That was all the confirmation Faolán needed.

All he needed to hear was his name, see the recognition dawn in Killian's eyes, and his heart leaped and breath caught. Holy God. It was Killian. Killian.

Faolán didn't say another word.

And before Killian could fill the silence, he threw himself at the other soldier, wrapping him up in a tight, fierce bear hug as though he meant to squeeze the life out of him.

Killian was too shocked to fully reply, but when he was able to, he was nearly coughing through the hug.
"F-Faolán!? Is that really you?" he asked, squirming to get released from the hug and to get a better look at the other soldier. And all he could do was gawk.

Sure he knew the secret behind the boy's real gender, but even he could see the pretty young lady behind the 'man's' face.

"Of course it's me, ya oaf!" Faolán laughed in delight, releasing Killian when he slipped from his hug and beaming a wide, toothy grin his way. He clasped Killian's shoulders, searching his face even as Killian did the same to him.

"Damn, you've grown!" he said, wonder in his voice. "I just...wow. It's just...it's really good to see you."

As the other soldier studied him, Killian's expression turned more serious, even as some of the wonder remained as a slow simmering sparkle in his eyes. He had grown a lot. His hair was a lot fuller, but much the same messy, chopped style as it was before. But due to the strain from the battle and losing his arm while on the run, his eyes looked a bit older for it, even if there weren't really wrinkles there.

His skin was harder, and his shoulders much broader, and his chin much more pronounced and strong. In fact, all over he looked strong. The muscles of his body could attest to the bulky strength of his father, that, and of the hard years war had played on him. But that much was evident on his missing limb.

Still, he smiled, even if he became a bit more reserved due to how much he had 'changed' since he had seen the cross-dressing soldier last.

"I could say the same thing about you! But it seems you've got your set of scars from the war too!" He immediately felt awkward during their small talk, but his lips quivered some out of pure joy to see the boy. He, of all things, thought if anything, the other could have been lost to the war by now. Everything seemed to be becoming lost to him by the war.

He already felt the loss of two women in his life, even if neither might be dead- his heart still went out to them, being torn from the years of not knowing. But now being reunited with another one of his few, close female 'friends', he couldn't help himself but be filled with unrelenting relief. Somehow, seeing him alive again made him feel much less like a failure-
Even if Faolan technically... wanted to be a man.

His eyes began to water up as he blinked and dropped his gaze. Was he crying?
"Ah.. air in here must be dry." he went on, moving to brush away at some tears-
But it seemed those pesky tears, once turned on, did not want to stop.

God dammit.

Faolán had been holding himself together, but seeing Killian tear up, even while claiming he wasn't...

He let out a choked laugh as the tears ran down Killian's face, and before he could help it he hugged the other man again, and this time didn't let go. He knew the other soldiers were watching, but didn't give a shit at the moment as he buried his face in Killian's neck to hide the tears welling up in his eyes--and wetting Killian's shirt. Besides, this was war, and most soldiers had lost friends; few would judge.

All those years, he thought he'd lost Killian.

"Yeah, seems it's catching, that dry air," he hiccupped, fingers curled in the back of Killian's shirt. "Dammit..."

The hug broke the damn. Killian's remaining arm clung to the smaller man, hand fisting into his shirt as he wept. But he wasn't ignorant to the stares as he whispered hoarsely,
"We need to talk.... In private."

"Oh, uh..."

It was only then that Faolán managed to peel himself away and scrub his fists over his eyes, dashing away the tears as quickly as he could. Though it did little to hide the blotchy redness in his face and eyes. He sniffed, clearing his throat.

"Okay, yeah, sure," he said, and looked around. "Didja get a room here?"

"Yeah I er.." Killian fumbled over his words as he awkwardly rose from table. "Y-yeah... I must've got one of the last of 'em."
He blinked back a few more tears and fumbled to get out his key as he made his way towards the stairs and up.

They may have gotten some looks, especially after that spectacle, but Killian had grown more fond of privacy the longer he had traveled by himself. Armies... he didn't feel it suited him anymore.

Once he unlocked his door, he pushed it opened and held it for Faolan to follow.

Faolán didn't even pause to think of what this must look like, the two of them hurrying up to Killian's room together, though a few soldiers gave them knowing looks. Everyone knew--though few spoke of it--that soldiers often warmed each other during the lonely nights.

Slipping in after Killian, Faolán pushed the door shut with his foot and took a long, deep breath, still trying to get a handle of the emotions battling within him. He was not about to make a fool of himself and start crying all over again! After another slow breath, he thought he had a handle on it, and he finally turned to look at Killian.

Killian. Alive, safe, and in one piece.

His eyes dropped to when an arm should have been, and then jerked back up.

Somewhat in one piece.

But he fought to keep his expression neutral. He was desperately curious, and worried, but he didn't want to be rude and ask and possibly open the wound up all over again. He'd been around enough wounded soldiers to know that was a sensitive topic.

Yet even so, he found himself rubbing at his own arm.

"So..." he started, and wiped at his nose. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"

Although privacy was what he sought when he wished to talk to his friend, as he watched Faolán rub at his arm he found himself frowning, and that frown only deepening with each passing second, Killian found himself without words. And so many questions. Could he still trust Faolán? Sure, the pair had killed some sort of a monster together. But that had been when they were barely becoming men.

Or as much of a man as either could be. He couldn't help but trace his eyes across Faolán's form and noticed the subtle curves perhaps most of his men had not. And it was there his eyes paused before he sighed and looked up into his face.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you again," he went on, voice croaky, but at least the tears had left his eyes.

Godddamnit, Killian!

Just when he got the waterworks under control, Killian had to go all sappy again. Faolán's throat tightened with emotion and he blinked hard to keep the tears at bay. God, he thought he was done with those already! He had to be running dry soon!

"Y-yeah," he managed lamely, bit his lip and looked away to get a hold of himself, and then he looked back at Killian--and promptly went "hell with it!" and threw his arms around him again in another squeezing bear hug.

No one could judge them here.

"I thought ya were dead or somethin'," he blurted, clinging. "So many people've died, I thought...God. I really missed ya, I did..."

Killian choked on his tears as he embraced the other.
"I almost was, and more than once," he admitted. "But I survived... But I also feared you might have been killed too, lost to the war."

"You were afraid for me?" Faolán offered up a cocky grin--or as cocky as he could get when his face was wet and blotchy with tears and his nose was running. "Me, the almighty beast slayer, terror to monsters? Oh, c'mon. I thought ya knew me better than that!"

He leaned back from Killian so he could look up at him, but kept his hands tight on his shoulders as though afraid that if he let go, he'd lose him again. "I was fiiiine. Kicked a lot of arse, really. All the arse."

As Killian smiled, his eyes shined.
"I also feared.... Other fates might have befallen you..." he went on carefully, eyes concerned and apologetic.

"Other fates?" Faolán asked, cocking his head

Killian didn't speak at first, but his hesitation was brief.
"About... Your secret." he added quietly, if not a bit guiltily.

Oh.

Faolán's eyes went wide, and his cheeks colored. Oh. Right. That.

He swallowed, licking dry lips and looking away. "Oh. Um. N-no." An awkward shift of his hips. "You're, um, the only one ever found out..."

There was a small pause, and he looked back up. "Thanks for that. For not tellin' anyone."

Killian looked as if he were about to cry again.
"Why would I tell anyone? How could I?" he asked, voice low. He gave the other soldier a small smile.
"But I guess it is good to know I've been the only one needing to worry about that." And his laughter that followed was awkward. He shifted a bit and found himself asking, "I bet it's still hard for you."
Fitting in as a man when he was a woman in Connlaoth...
He couldn't even begin to imagine, and he had traveled with him for how long?

"Well, I won't lie and say I ain't had some close calls," Faolán said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Going into battle's always extra scary. Get hurt the wrong way and...well...people find out like you did. And growing up is...well..."

He gave a helpless shrug. No need to say anything about that, really, about the changes his body went through as he went through his teens and emerged an adult. That had been hard without the extra challenge of concealing himself. He still could hardly look at himself naked without feeling his stomach twist.

"But I've managed!" he quickly added, pouring on the cheer. "Enough about me, though. What about you? Where've you been all this time?"

Killian wore a sad apologetic smile the entire time he spoke. He understood what he had gone through, just enough to know just how hard it had to have been. But at his last question, he replied croakily, "I..." he cleared his throat. "I was sent North. To Fort Dhagh." He blushed a little and felt his stomach turn icy at the thought.

Fort Dhagh had been a massacre for their side of the war..
"I was lucky to have survived.. but barely. And not without consequences," he went on, gesturing to his missing limb. He gave an idly itch to that shoulder, and let his eyes trace over what was lost.

Faolán paled at Killian's words. Fort Dhagh. Of all bloody places...

Literally.

His eyes followed Killian's hand to his shoulder, taking in the blank space where his arm should have been, and he swallowed and brought a hand to his mouth. Shit. Shit. He couldn't even imagine what that would feel like, how much it would hurt. He couldn't even imagine what sorts of horrors he must have seen on the butchering field. Faolán had seen his share, the way corpses piled up, the way the mortally wounded cried out for mercy as they were trampled beneath the boots of those still fighting. There were too many familiar faces among the dead. But the skirmishes he'd been in had been just that, apparently--skirmishes. Small compared to some of the other battles, and nothing like that all out slaughter.

Finally, he looked back up to meet Killian's eyes.

"I'm so sorry..." he said quietly.

Killian shook his head.
"There is no need to feel sorry for me. Long ago, I may have just been a kid, wanting to join the army. But I was wise enough to know what it meant. But now... Well, now I know a lot more personally what I signed up for, and what I had to be prepared to give..."

He could have died, easily. Had he not been on that particular section of the wall during it all...

Killian grit his teeth, trying to snuff out the memory.
And forced himself to smile.

"I guess I can think of my life now needing to be more.. creative. With only one hand.... Well, I'm not looking forward to attempting a one armed bath," he went on with a silent chuckle.

Faolán's eyes went wide.

"Waitaminute. How long has it been since you've bathed, anyway?" he blurted, deciding to go for humor in the face of such tragic news.

Killian paled before his face went red.
"I.. hey now!" he went on, laughing. "I've bathed but it has... been sometime," he went on admittedly. "It's not like I had much of a choice, and I just wanted to get down as far south as possible..."

He had to wonder...
Did he reek? Is that why she asked? Er.. he asked! He...
And he averted his gaze when he realized they were straying to check on Faolan's chest.

Faolán barked a laugh, and covered his mouth quickly to try to stifle the sound. Killian looked so mortified!

"I'm teasing, I'm teasing!" he laughed, waving his hands and trying to ignore the way Killian's eyes had strayed--and the blush that brought. "I haven't bathed in ages, either! Like...uh...a real long time, now that I think of it..."

Brow knitting, he lifted an arm and sniffed at his pit, then wrinkled his nose. "Y'know, not much opportunity to do it when there's a buncha people around all the time."

"I'd offer to share a bath but I'm not sure if I can afford one." It took a lot of money for him to procure this room, after all.

"Oh, um, well..." Faolán pat the coin purse at his hip. "I've got some money. I was gonna get a room, but if ya don't mind sharin' this one, I could use it on a bath instead?"

His eyes widened.
"Of course I'd be willing to share! But... Are you sure you want to use your money for it?"

Faolán gave a little shrug and a smile. "Why not? I have enough for either a room or a bath, but not both. Bath's cheaper, though, so I'll still have some left over after this--and I'll be rested and clean. I ain't been clean in so long, I was seriously thinkin' about taking the bath and sleeping in the streets. Which probably woulda undone the bath..."

He laid his hand on Killian's shoulder. "Really, it's okay! In fact, I insist!"

And Killian, truly, was the only person he trusted enough for this.

Killian gave a sigh of relief.
"Well, I guess that's settled than." His blue eyes took her, er, him in with warmth. "It will also give us an excuse to catch up a bit more. It's been years."
Years. He suddenly felt old.

"Yeah, you'll have to tell me what you've been up to! Aside from, uh...soldiery stuff. Like, you get a girl or anything yet, eh? Eh? Make any little Killians?"

Faolán grinned and waggled his eyebrows at him, nudging him with his elbow, before he turned and headed for the door. "I'm kiiiidding. Kind of. Maybe." A pause. "Didja?"

Killian's face heated crimson as he stared at Faolán in disbelief.
"I..I-" But the he laughed.  "Faolán! I could ask you the same!" he went on, looking him over before recalling.. oh right, he couldn't exactly knock up any girls without the right equipment but..
Oh.. had he taken a lover anyway? Had kids himself?

"No," he finally answered, shaking his head, but it couldn't get rid of his blush. "No little Killians here."
But then he went quiet, an almost sad look taking over his eyes.

Faolán burst into laughter, both at Killian's expression (still awkward, even after all these years!) and at his question. Had he seriously just said he could ask him the same?!

"Of course I haven't!" he laughed. "Y'know, certain complications making that, um...impossible. And like I said, you're the only one that knows. Too many risks. If the wrong person finds out, or if...y'know...pregnancy happens..."

He grimaced at the thought. No way he could pass off a pregnant belly as a beer belly. And what after that?

"I'm surprised, though. I always figured you'd get eaten up alive, if you know what I mean."

"Eaten up alive?" he blinked. Nope, he had no idea what he meant!

"Well, yeah, I mean like...you're a looker! Figured if ya weren't gettin' pawed by the other soldiers, you'd surely be havin' all the village ladies throwin' their smallclothes at ya," Faolán said with a wide grin.

His face was red clean to his ears.

"What!? I!" His eyes went wide as he pointed a finger at the other soldier. "Why.. I'm not like that! You know I'm not like that! Why would you assume I-I-!?"

Ansgar's name! What was getting into Faolan!? And what did he mean... looker?

He then pointed his finger at the other's face again.

"Are are are are you accusing me to cover up.. up your own crazy side lady fantasies!?"

Yeah.. he had no idea how to respond to that!

"Oh my God!" Faolán burst into laughter at Killian's horror, so earnest, so genuine, and had to flop down onto the bed to keep from falling over from giggles. Side lady fantasies?! And that red-faced shock at being teased about his love life. He wheezed, gasping for air between laughter. "Don't ya know it! I've got a whole harem on the side! Fantasy shmantasy, everyone wants a tumble in my tent!"

And suddenly, not for the first time since seeing him, he was struck by how much he'd missed Killian. He'd known it all along, of course, but now that he was here, now that they were teasing each other again...

His chest ached from more than just laughter at the thought, the realization that this was real.

With a final gasping sigh, Faolán rolled over onto his back with his head hanging off the bed, peering up at Killian upside-down with his hair falling around his face. "But really. I'm kinda a big deal around these parts." And he winked. "I pay the brothel girls extra to keep up my rep."

Mortification aside, Killian's feelings swelled. He had forgotten how close they had been. He missed  that closeness. Ansgar's name, Faolan was family. He had dropped onto the bedside and without much thought, he clung to Faolan, body shaking as he wondered if he were to cry again.

"Oof!" Faolán gasped when Killian clung to him anew, but despite that small, startled sound, he wrapped his arms around him and tugged him closer. It was amazing, really; it had been years since they had last seen one another, and yet Killian felt just as familiar as ever, like no time had passed--even though Faolán could feel how his body had grown and aged and hardened. War and time had taken its toll on them all.

A fresh pang of pain tightened in his chest at the thought, and as his fingers traced the place where Killian's arm should have been, it reminded him that Killian could have died, that he had almost died, too--and that they still had plenty of time to be killed in this war.

Any day could be their last.

He'd said goodbye to too many friends already, only to find their blood on the battlefield.

Only to regret all the things he hadn't said.

Sometimes, he regretted the things he had said.

It was rare he got a second chance, and yet here it was, and--

And suddenly he was kissing him.

Faolán didn't know what on Ansgar's green earth compelled him to kiss Killian, and for a second it felt like he was someone else, like someone else was puppeteering his body as he hugged Killian tighter and pressed his lips hard to his. For a second, he was only aware of his warmth and closeness, the strange familiarity of his body heat and a brief flash of nostalgia--and then reality snapped him back. His eyes shot open in horror, his skin flushed red, and he pulled back fast, his heart already in his throat as he realized just what he'd done.

"...I...I'm sorry," he stammered, sitting up. "I-I don't know why I...I just...I'm sorry."

But Killian caught Faolán by the arm suddenly, and didn't let him get away. He couldn't. There was heat, there was fire, and something so potent electrifying between the pair of them he scarcely could remember breathing. He must've pulled Faolán back to him, close to him- was the other boy on his lap? He didn't know, but they were close again and he wanted that closeness more than anything but he also needed to know-

"Why," he asked, dizzy at their close proximity as he licked his lips. "You kissed me..." He could still feel his lips tingling from it, and the fact there was no longer any extra room in the front of his pants.
"Faolán..." his hand moved, afraid at first to let go, lest the other boy ran, but without his second arm he hadn't the luxury. He lifted his fingers to the others face, staring deep and curious into his eyes.


"Have you always felt this way?" he asked, voice quiet, barely above a whisper- because for some reason, all of his insides were tensing up into incurable knots for fear that...
fear that way?
Of the truth? Of rejection? That this other boy wanted him?

But Faolán... no.. he wasn't just a boy, and it wasn't like, even if he anatomically was, he'd even feel strange about whatever this was right now....

All he saw was a friend, someone he had been so close with over the years... had so many awkward moments that....

"Because I... I think I had.. too."

Did he honestly just say that?
But could he deny it? Every ounce of his being was raging for him... or her.. or whoever he was.
He had always been undeniably attracted to Faolán; for him being a soldier, and being so much like a kin, a sibling- and someone to share so much of the war before they had parted ways.....


No, he couldn't wait for the answers as he pulled Faolán near, nearly spilling over with him hug tight to him with one arm, that hand scooping up his hair as he smashed his lips into his with a moan.  It was too natural, too hot- an itch he hAD to scratch. Too long had he feared consequences of the gentile...
But war... war had matured him, and began to peel away his many layers of awkwardness and uncertainty.

He had lost his damn arm, for crying out loud and he'd be damned if he'd ignore he never wanted this. Perhaps because he was no longer a virgin, those virtues had gone out the window-
He didn't question it, only moaned and moved his hips, hoping the other would do the same.

Faolán felt almost dizzy with terror and mortification, because oh God he'd actually done that and what if Killian hated him now and pushed him away and he fucked up everything after finally finding him again?! He wanted to escape, wanted to bolt like a coward--facing an enemy on the field was one thing, and easy compared to this, because he at least knew what to do and knew what to expect, win or lose. But this? This was new, and somehow more risky, more painful, and he didn't know what to do, didn't have the training, and already felt like he was floundering and drowning.

He started to get up, ready to excuse himself before Killian could kick him out, but he hadn't even rose before he found himself in Killian's lap. And things suddenly got that much more confusing when the predictable, horrible thing didn't happen and he instead found himself staring into Killian's eyes in wide-eyed confusion.

What.

What??

Have you always felt this way?

To answer was to damn himself, and his stomach clenched and breath stopped as he struggled for an answer, for an escape out of this weird, dangerous situation he'd landed himself in--all on a damned, foolish impulse! But Killian's fingers traced his face, and Faolán's skin tingled under his touch, wanting more, and he swallowed hard past a knot of fear.

He was luckily saved from an answer.

Because Killian answered first, and Faolán's jaw dropped. "Wha--?"

Killian's lips cut him off while his mind still reeled, his words muffled and trailing off into a soft whimper as he clung to him, at first frozen in shock--Killian felt the same?!--before slowly, if a bit awkwardly, he relaxed into the kiss and curled his fingers tightly in Killian's shirt. His breath hitched when Killian's hips bumped up against his, his eyes snapping open when he felt his hardness straining against his breeches, but he only clutched him tighter and gave his lip a playful nibble and lick, gave his hips an experimental buck to grind their bodies together through their clothes--and gasped sharply at the jolt that went through him, at the heat that burned clear to his toes. Oh, he had done his fair share of kissing; he'd kissed a number of ladies and men for the fun of it, but had never taken it farther because it could mean his life.

But Killian knew.

And this wasn't the first time he had wanted him.

He'd just never imagined...

"Killian..." he gasped, dragging his short nails down his back, surprised at his own boldness. But war had indeed made him a little less shy; when each day could be your last, you soaked up what pleasure you could. But despite the need, confusion and a thread of fear and shame still tugged at him, because kissing was one thing, but this was new ground. But it wasn't enough to stop him from sliding his hands under Killian's shirt to trace along his skin, and it wasn't enough to stop him from capturing his lips again in another fierce kiss, his tongue slipping in for a taste before he pulled back and cocked his head. "You're...you're okay with this?"

...Dumb question, perhaps.

But his brain wasn't quite working properly.

Killian was in heat, their bodies grinding as he moaned and wished for the expulsion of their clothes. His arm even fisted into Faolán's, pulling just so that it loosed the lower half of his shirt so his hand could move and smooth up the soft skin of his side.

Soft skin...
he shivered, remembering, as his hand itched upwards, of the truth only he knew about this boy. Buy he paused just as the boy spoke, asked him about his own consent. And his ears burned at the phrase while fingers rested just an inch from groping his.. her? breasts.


He looked him in the eyes, barely able to focus as he whispered, "Y-yeah." He licked his lips, the bulge in his pants becoming painful. "Are you?"
Because damn it all, if this was going to happen, Faolán needed to be on the same page as he. And he needed so much, and was too hot to consider any consequences.

"Y...yeah," Faolán said, voice barely a whisper as nerves and excitement and heat and confusion warred with one another, making it hard to breathe--and the bindings about his chest certainly didn't make it easier. All these years and he still wanted Killian, time not dampening those feelings one bit. The only difference was that now, years later, he had the wisdom to be honest about it, because anything could happen tomorrow.

His cheeks flushed hot at his own words, and at the heat of Killian's hand tingling on his skin, and he swallowed hard. He knew he wanted him; there was no contest there. But that didn't mean he wasn't still nervous about what this was leading to, because this was crazy and he didn't know what the hell he was doing.

"I've, um...kinda felt this way a while?" he found himself babbling, finally answering his question, his words punctuated with a soft moan and a gasp as he ground his hips back against Killian and shivered, wanting more, afraid of wanting more, and with an embarrassed laugh he dropped his face against Killian's shoulder. He pressed a soft kiss to his neck, breath tickling along his skin. "I just...uh...I ain't sowed my oats like the other guys so...don't be disappointed?"

Because God, he was nervous, and felt so wildly out of his league. He finally had Killian right where he wanted him, exactly what he'd daydreamed about when they were young and awkward--and he didn't know how exactly to navigate it. Killian was the only one who had seen him naked, and somehow that made it a little less nerve-wracking, but all the same he could hardly look at himself without clothes. And while he fancied himself a great kisser, he was sorely lacking in experience or finesse and there was no way Killian hadn't been snatched up, arm or no arm.

It was bittersweet, to still feel so anxious and nervous around the other, even after all of these years, and well, he himself now had at least some experience beneath his built, which added to the thin layer of guilt that, for some strange reason, only aided in the fact he needed to fuck Faolán, and to fuck the boy now.

He had been a hot mess when he met Silmeria, a smoking hot woman he couldn't help but let himself fall into. And she was truly someone he felt was beyond his league- not only in years (due to her immortality), but her beauty, wisdom, and power with magic as well. Despite his torn allegiances, there was still the prejudices so deeply entrenched inside him about mages that, inspite of himself....

He truly wanted Faolán, deeply and authentically. He never thought he could, or would. He knew the consequences of pursuing the other, what it could mean to their identity, and it was truly a life or death consequence. But he had lived through enough life or deaths and Faolán was here, right now. And although neither was being blindly bold, they were both being bold in their own right, speaking from heat, from need and desires so long tucked away.

He truly thought this day would never come as he growled and couldn't help himself, kissing Faolán over and over again.
"I would never judge you, Faolán," he whispered gruffly through his kisses. "I never have."

He still didn't let his hands grope his breasts. It would confirm too much, even those his hot hands were just resting beneath them, eager and tense, wanting to. But he knew the second he would, Faolán would be a woman, and not just a soldier,a friend...
but it would escalate, because he felt it had to. Doubts needed to be cast aside. He had to live.

"I've only done this once," he admitted, feeling guilty, but never being good at lying, nor wanting to. He licked his lips, his heart racing.
"I'll be gentle." But hopefully not for too long. It always felt the best when two bodies moved like a pair of writing snakes.
"Or... you, you can initiate.. take the lead.." he offered, hands moving south from his breasts.

Take the lead. Initiate.

Faolán bit his lip, considering his words, trusting Killian more than he'd trusted anyone else, and after a pause he leaned in and kissed Killian's lips, his jaw, his neck. "Okay," he breathed. He could do that. Take control. Maybe it would be less nerve-wracking this time, unlike the first time Killian had seen him naked, which had been a mistake he'd had no choice in. Back then, he had been terrified, certain he was going to die or that, at the very least, it would ruin everything between them. He swallowed hard. It was uncomfortable, and he knew it was going to be uncomfortable baring himself; his body had changed a little since that last time as he'd aged and matured and grew from a gangly teen to an adult, and God did he hate those changes, the way his hips had rounded, just a bit, and chest had grown.

But life was short. And he wanted Killian more than he feared that discomfort.

He pulled away briefly, still firmly straddling Killian, and pulled his shirt off and over his head. Then before he could think, before he could breathe, he undid the bindings around his chest and tossed them to the side, too. He sucked in a breath, able to breathe fully now, his skin red and indented where the cloth had pressed in, and crossed his arms over his chest as a wave of uncertainty rolled over him.

"I...I know what you're seein'," he started, jittery again with the nerves he tried so hard to repress. He hunched his shoulders. God, he was a wreck. He wanted Killian, his body was on fire, and he wanted nothing more than to feel Killian's skin pressed against his--but doing all that meant being naked, at his most vulnerable. It meant Killian might see him differently now, too. "But I'm...I'm still a guy. You know?"

He took a deep breath and met Killian's eyes, hoping he'd understand what he struggled to explain.

Killian's eyes took in what he saw, if even briefly. His body was by no means perfect, and to expose himself in such a way, he knew what Faolán was sacrificing. But then his question was posed and he looked up from his covered breasts to his face and looked into those eyes. He could see the fear there. He saw the uncertainty. And he also saw the desire.

He moved to place his hand across Faolán's. it was awkward, especially with just one arm, but he did it in a gesture, to let him know it was okay not to hide it. Killian had nothing to hide. His arm, or what was left of the one lost, was a swollen, sickly looking, puckered scar that would never, ever go away and the limb never ever to come back.

"You are who you are, Faolán," he told him in earnest, his eyes never once leaving his. "I.. know it might sound strange but once I found out what.. well, who you were beneath the soldier gear, I saw you differently, but not in identity. You were never like the others. You were always Faolán." And that much he couldn't deny or ignore. But he'd never consider him a woman in the traditional sense.

"It.. it was confusing even to me. We had been close, like brothers. Except that.." he licked his dry lips and looked th eother man over, and continued in hoping to coax him into baring it all.
"Well, Faolán, your body is still different. And not in a bad way." Why would having a woman's body be bad?
"You're a soldier, like all the rest. I'd never deny that.. or our friendship."

Or was this turning into something more? Was this just them both acting off of instinct? That the war left desires and they both needed to fuck? Or was this something else entirely?

Silmeria, he was attracted to in an entirely different way. It was the way a man was supposed to be attracted to a woman and he could never deny his attraction, his affection or budding desires for her. He had lost his virginity to her willingly, and was only hear in hopes to seek her out.

But that was when Faolán was well out of his mind and years had past since the pair had seen one another. And the feelings from before, the ones he could never delve into, were now opening to him and he just couldn't deny it.

He removed his hand from his and awkwardly worked at unlacing his pants. The bulge was getting painful, and once the laces were loosed, he didn't even have to try, as his member rose out from his pants, full at attention and rigid with a swollen tip waiting for a taste. He even went so far as to half pry off the rest of his clothing, and opened his shirt to show off his own chest, well scared and muscled from years in the war.

Now, now he was bared too, and he showed no shame. Though he did blush. It was still.. strange to expose himself this way.

"Now you can see all of me, too," he whispered, hoping it would help, not only fuel the other boy's desires, but to make him feel more comfortable about what they were doing.

The relief showed clear in Faolán's eyes and he let his breath out in a sharp whoosh as he'd forgotten for a moment to breathe. His throat still felt tight, no longer with fear but with emotion. He had never been afraid of rejection, not from Killian, but there was that very real fear that suddenly he would be different. Suddenly Killian wouldn't see another man before him. And maybe Killian still didn't understand, just as Faolán hardly understood himself beyond what he felt, that this body didn't match who he was, but Killian's words, his acceptance, it was enough.

More than enough.

How could he have ever doubted him?

He could have cried from sheer happiness and relief, his emotions a confused mess mixed with that almost painful desire, but crying wasn't his style. And besides, Killian knew just how to distract him, because that was when he undid his breeches.

Faolán stared.

Oh, he'd daydreamed about this before, and immediately been ashamed for those thoughts. But there was no shame here as he took Killian in, his heart beating faster as heat rose to his face and settled between his legs. This was real. This was better than anything he could have dreamed. And Killian wanted him--

And God, what was he waiting for?

Still shy, Faolán took a deep breath and lowered his arms, his face reddening at how exposed he now was, but he was determined to move past it quick. This was supposed to be awkward anyway, right? First times? So why the hell not just embrace it, because he knew--was hoping--that very soon it would be the last thing on his mind.

"Damn...you've got no idea how long I've wanted this..."

He still hadn't removed his own breeches, but for some reason Killian's nudity while he was still half-clothed only made him bolder, braver. He gently pushed against Killian's chest, coaxing him to lay back, and pressed a fierce kiss to his lips as he still rocked their hips together. God, that felt maddening, feeling Killian's cock rubbing between his legs with only the material of his breeches separating them, a wet spot dampening on the fabric as his need only grew. And then his low moan of enjoyment soon turned to a surprised gasp when he pressed against a place that sent a spike of pleasure through him. He shivered and focused on repeating it, grinding and rolling his hips just a little harder, biting back moans and sharp breaths, and only stopped when the friction of his breeches became too harsh.

He needed more--but he wasn't yet ready to undress.

"I wanna try somethin'," he murmured against Killian's lips, before he peppered kisses down his neck and along his collarbone. "Heard some folks talkin' about it, so...I just thought...y'know..."

He pressed a gentle kiss to Killian's stump of an arm, never once hesitating even as he fully took in the ugly flesh, then moved lower down his body until he settled himself on his knees between Killian's legs. He swallowed, not really sure of what he was doing, but a large part of him really just wanted to impress Killian. And even stranger, but it somehow felt less nerve-wracking being in control. And so after a moment of nervous hesitation, stomach fluttering with excitement, he trailed his fingers along Killian's cock, then gripped him more firmly, amazed at how soft he felt over all the hard flesh. For a moment he just explored him curiously, stroking gently, smoothing his thumb over the tip and the precum there as he got his first up-close look at a cock--and then he leaned forward and dragged his tongue up his length, licking him, kissing him, before he took the head into his mouth and sucked.

If the actions were to make him feel more comfortable with their act, Killian surely drove the other above and beyond the call of duty. He was no dominant man by any means, but he could be assertive, some what, if he tried. But Faolán and he were now leagues beyond what could have been an awkward first romp, had they done so all those years ago in the woods when feelings were beginning to bloom.

Part of him, the desirous half that was so alight with want and need, wished they had taken one another for their first times that first time they were alone, and naked together, on duty. He would still have had his limbs and well....
There'd certainly be a lot less mess in the way of things. They were so much more innocent in those days and somehow, sex as a teenager would have been so much more pure. But now, Killian had already taken another, and seemed to have become quite bold to seek out Faolán right now. And the fact there was no direct sexual identity between them, just simple want bred another situation all of it's own.

And there he found himself, with another lover pinning him down and kissing him without reserve, and each kiss made him shiver, and moan slightly, even as he cringed a little when lips met over his scarred and missing flesh. If anything, more precum leaked for want, and more and more did it glisten as Faolán moved so his face was now between the other's legs.

Killian felt dizzy as he glanced down at the boy. It was hard to register his face, his touch for he was so intoxicated by heat that before he knew it, Killian was gasping out with pleasure as Faoláns mouth devoured his sex.

The soft velvet wetness of his mouth and tongue made him nearly spurt, and he did a little as a zing of pleasure shot through him like a rocket. His mouth fell open as he puckered and sobbed in pleasure, his hand finding it's way behind Faolán's head to grip the boy's hair as his feet dug into the wooden floor boards for what lame support he could. He wished he had that extra arm- that extra hand to do something else, but would it matter? He was completely at the other's mercy as he sucked and sucked against his length. Sure, his sex had been want of plowing into the other's sex, and it was evident Faolan did too, as he felt the other boy's pants grow wet and hot as they nearly fucked through their clothes.

But now this whole other situation had him topsided and he couldn't help but make loud noises of true pleasure as he fell to the other's mercy. Perhaps if he could, he'd shove fingers inside Faolan to get him to sing, but as it was, all he could do was grip and cry onto the other as he tasted him, again and again- and would soon realize, it might not take long to have this fellow soldier meet his peak.

Faolán didn't know what he was doing. All he had to go off of were some bawdy, bragging stories his friends had overshared with him about particular acts brothel girls had performed. He hadn't asked for details, so all he had to go off of were vague generalities.

But God almighty, from Killian's response, it seemed he was doing something right. But then he supposed, how hard could it be to do this in the first place?

Maybe the trick was just not thinking about it, and instead just feeling and watching.

Killian's response only boosted his confidence as he licked and sucked, eyes flicking up to Killian's face to watch his reactions, see what actions drew the bigger response. He experimented, licking up from base to tip before sliding him into his mouth again, deeper, fighting back against his own gag reflex and coming up again for air. He gripped him on one hand and stroked him while his mouth worked over the tip, tasting Killian's salt and excitement--and finding himself surprised by it, because he didn't know cocks did that. He knew they spilled "seed" at the end of a romp, but...was that what that was? It didn't seem like it, because Killian was still into it, and it wasn't a bad flavor at all, more curious than anything. But he was finding that the more he explored, the less he realized he knew.

His education had been gained from the bragging of other soldiers, after all.

His free hand stroked along Killian's thigh, feeling the hard-earned muscle there, and then dipped down curiously to stroke and cup his balls while his mouth still worked on him, a little choked gasp leaving when a jerk of Killian's hips drove him up into his throat when he wasn't expecting it. He quickly recovered, though, his heart racing, his body on fire, and wondered if Killian realized just how tempting he looked when he writhed, each little pant and moan sending a thrill through him and coiling hotter in his core.

God, he wanted him...and he shivered at the feeling of Killian's hand in his hair, longed to feel his hand all over him, and as he slid his cock between his lips and teased with his tongue, he couldn't help but imagine what it would feel like when he was sliding between his legs.

Faolán whimpered around Killian, releasing him with a sucking pop and a wet lick, panting lightly. "Is that okay?" he breathed, licking his lips. "Feel good?"

His swollen red cock glistened like a barrel, twitching in the after glow of the affections of the other's mouth as Killian was left without words. What.. what was that just now!? The tongue, the heat.. the sensation. It was enough to drive a man mad.

"Gods... Faolán," he moaned, still in a daze when he finally looked down at the other with a hungered cringe. "That was.. where... how.... How did you know how to do that?" He was at a loss of words, heart pounding inside his ears as his entire body was on fire.

"You.. you almost had me unloading inside your mouth." And he blushed at the very idea. That would be safer though, wouldn't it? Maybe that was the point. His hand moved of it's own, sliding down the other boy's backside to his thighs. They were remarkable soft, but he could also feel the tense muscles there. But he couldn't go low enough and found himself leaning forward, akwardly.

"He.. here. get on my lap. Let me try something I.." He licked his lips. "I.. I'd like to get my fingers inside you. But you'll.. you'll have to hold onto me. I.." he blushed, sheepish. "I only have the one hand so I... but I.. I'd still like to try."

A vivid blush stained Faolán's cheeks and he let out a breathless laugh. "I dunno, I just...I overheard some talk and, um, I figured...y'know...why not?" he said sheepishly, even as pride swelled within him at Killian's stuttering reaction. He'd done good, then? Well, that hadn't been so difficult! "I just kinda watched you and, er...did more of whatever made ya moan."

And then Killian's hand passed over his ass and thighs, and though he was still wearing breeches, he shivered at the touch, reminded of how much more he wanted, of what it would be like to feel his hand on bare skin...

Killian's words only made his blush grow hotter.

"W...wha...?" His fingers? Sit in his lap? He blinked rapidly, a flush of both embarrassment and need racing through him, as he realized that meant it was his turn to lose his pants and...and...

He swallowed, staring at Killian owlishly. "O-oh...okay...um..."

Why was it so much easier to do things to Killian than to have things done to him?! He froze for a second, once again struck with that awkward shyness, but want and curiosity burned hotter in him than nerves, and so with slightly shaking fingers he unlaced his breeches, sucked in a breath, and kicked out of them. Quickly, before he could lose his nerve, he crawled into Killian's lap and straddled his thighs, knees on either side of Killian's legs, all too aware of his cock rising between them. He stared down at it, heart hammering fast, and then back up at Killian as he grabbed onto his shoulders and awkwardly adjusted.

"Er...this alright?" he asked, biting his lip, and Killian could no doubt feel his heat and wetness against his skin, his breasts against his chest as he pulled him close to feel his warmth But before Killian could answer, he dipped forward and captured his lips with his own, melting his nerves away in a searing kiss, trying to forget his own trepidation as he explored new ground.

It was all so new to him, and his uncertainty made his heart beat faster, maybe even a little painful- or was that just coming from the tenseness in his belly? He could even hear his heart in his ears, even feel the blood rush there, and all over as the other move to sit on his lap. A white rush followed by heat was enough to swell his cock even more, as it trembled for him to realize just how close they were to....

But he hadn't the time to think, when their lips met, it was all he could focus on. Faolán's lips tasted sweet, and were softer than he was expecting. He moaned into it, leaning forward as he felt his sex rub against her's.

And there was nothing there between them. No pants. No long johns. Nothing. And he moaned, moving his hips just enough to let his sex rub at the moist heat. He had almost forgotten his plan, desiring so much to just slide inside of Faolán but that subtle fear to do so was just enough to keep him sober and focused as itchy fingers moved forward, and gently massaged at the folds of wet skin so tender and swollen between the other's legs.

He was moaning again through their kisses, fingers blind and fumbling until he felt the other's clit fall between two fingers, and he began to massage there, gauging the reaction of the other by the sound of his breath in hopes he was doing the right thing-
and once he was confirmed it was, he grew confident, bolder, and massaged him firmer, and continuing to do so while a timid finger poked in at the heated opening of the other's sex.

Faolán's breath hitched and stuttered when he felt Killian's hips buck, felt his cock prod and rub against his sex, and his own body jerked, a flood of heat spreading through him that had him shivering. He gripped Killian's shoulders harder until his nails left half moon indents, and his heart pounded harder when he thought for an instant that maybe Killian intended to skip straight to taking him. And God, but right then he wouldn't have minded one bit as his hips rolled instinctively, seeking more, gasping against Killian's mouth as their tongues tasted and teased and--

A sharp breath left him, shuddering out through his teeth, when he felt Killian's fingers slide between them, more focused, more dexterous in their goal, and he jerked again in alarm--and then let out a whimper when his fingers found a spot that had him squirming.

He broke the kiss, surprise and pleasure alike coursing through him, and buried his face against Killian's neck with a gasped, "Oh, God," his breath hot against his skin. What the--? All their kissing and grinding had felt wonderful, especially when he rubbed against a certain spot, but this? Holy God. He couldn't hold still, couldn't focus on anything else but the heat building and building, curling clear to his toes, couldn't seem to control the breathy moans and whimpers leaving him--embarrassing sounds, far too high-pitched, but right then he didn't care. His hips rolled against Killian's hand, begging for more, his hands tangled in his hair as he clung tight, and the fear and uncertainty was only a small blip in his mind as desire and excitement took over.

No wonder people were so goddamned obsessed with sex. He'd had an idea, but...damn. An idea was all he'd had. Growing up, when people saw him and treated him as a girl, he had been taught it was shameful to have such thoughts outside of marriage. Even now, years later, at bloody twenty-four years of age, that socialization, the shame, still haunted him; he hadn't even touched himself.

But here with Killian, he was giving it all the middle finger.

"Killian," he panted, pressing desperate kisses to the man's neck, his jaw, and finally capturing his lips. And then he gasped again when he felt a finger prod against him, begin to slide inside. He tensed in surprise, but then rocked his hips, encouraging it, shuddering as it slid in deeper and stretched unused muscle. It was a strange sensation, new, but not painful; his sex was practically dripping so it sank in easily--and flooded his mind with new thoughts, like what his cock would feel like.

He didn't know what he was doing. He couldn't. All of their actions were dictated by heat. And with his fingers crammed in so deep and Faolán moaning and saying his name....
It was too much. All of it.

The war. The secrets. The need.

"F-Faolán," Killian panted, still feverishly moving his hand within. "Can.. can we... I.... I want to.."
His pale lashes hung low, his voice husky, cheeks pink with heat and need. Did he need to finish his question? For what he desired?  His body needed this. Didn't Faolán's body, too?

But he paused a moment, a hand still inside, but stilled it, muscles tensed as he looked into the other's eyes.

"Let's do this."

His blue eyes begged. Let me inside.

Killian didn't need to finish his question. Faolán understood perfectly, but he didn't answer with words. Instead, he tangled his hands in Killian's hair and kissed him fiercely, a moan muffled between them as Killian's fingers worked their magic, and God, he wanted him badly, more than he wanted anything, and though he was nervous, though he knew this was risky...fuck, they could die tomorrow for all anyone knew. He had this chance so he was taking it.

On his worst days he could barely look at his own body, but in this moment with Killain, with his complete and total acceptance of him, it didn't feel wrong. Killian saw him for him--they had always just been Killian and Faolán--and he could be himself completely, with no secrets between them.

Now there weren't even clothes between them as Faolán reached down and gently brushed Killian's hand away. But it was only so he could slide his body closer to Killian's, firmly straddling the man's hips. He didn't slide onto him yet, though, and instead rocked against him, grinding against him now with nothing in the way and shuddering, teeth nipping against Killian's lips. And then when he could take no more of the teasing and torturing, he reached between them to move Killian's cock into position, took a deep breath, and slowly sank down onto him.

Faolán had heard that it could hurt, but he was surprised at how little it did. A slight sting made him gasp, made his hands tighten on Killain's shoulders, and he paused a moment to catch his breath because there was no rush, right? And he appreciated being on top so he could take his time. He pressed kisses to Killian's neck and rocked his hips, taking him a little deeper, his breath hitching with each little movement, each spike of pleasure and pain. He had no idea what he was really doing, and hoped Killian wouldn't mind his inexperience--because he was excited to learn with him.

By Ansgar's name. His eyes fluttered close as Faolán rubbed their sexes together, the heat and the warmth almost too much to bare. He ached and arched and moaned beneath the minstrations and still.. let the other take the lead. If he was still new to this, he wouldn't rush it. But by the gods did he want to thrust. 

And then after long moments of titillating torture...
He was in.

Killian's lips fell open, a gravily moan released as he placed a hand to press against the small of Faolán's back and coaxed him nearer.

He'd let the other take the lead but by the gods he would have to be careful when he peaked. The very act of what they were doing... that they shouldn't lent towards a primal fire that burned within. He desired to breed, and needed to calm himself before it happened. After all.. they had only just begun.

 Faolán didn't really know what he was doing. He knew the mechanics, of course, but knowing and doing were two separate realities, especially with his nerves on fire, Killian inside him, and reality crashing like a wave over him: this was actually happening.

He clung to the other man and moved slowly and timidly, biting his lip against the tenderness that was gradually giving way to new sensations. It was a little difficult to get out of his own head, too, because ohmygodthiswashappening, and was he doing it right? Did it feel good for Killian? He expected he would be clumsy his first time, but that didn't ease up the anxiety when he wanted it to be amazing for the man he'd craved so long to be with.

"Killian...is this...is this okay?" he panted, and pressed a needy kiss to his mouth, hands cupping his face. He rose and sank back onto him, growing a little more bold as the discomfort faded into building pleasure, but his rhythm was a bit off, unpracticed. He shivered and clung to him tighter. "Can ya...show me what ya like?"

Killian shivered in pleasure. Even without skill, the clumsy actions boiled his blood. He let his strong, calloused hand move down the small of Faolan's back. Man.. woman.. friend.. No..
Lover. It didn't matter what they were. They had been so close and been through so much.

When he asked him to guide him, Killian opened his eyes, blue eyes staring up at him. He smiled, a hand cupping the other's face in return.

"This isn't just for me," he said, voice gruff as he moved his hips tentatively to press up into the other. "L-let your body move.. feel... experience these sensations." This was the man's first time, after all, and he knew their body would be unused to deflowering. And had unique angles the other might not yet know or realize.

"We.. we have all night to.. to go at this.." he then added, feeling a thrill of exhilaration that well..
They could. They could go at this all night.

All night...

Faolán shivered at the thought, meeting Killian's eyes with a little smile. "I like the sound of that," he breathed, before he pressed his hands to Killian's chest and pushed him gently back onto the bed. His encouragement, his pure and unquestioning acceptance, filled him with another little rush of boldness and he seized it before he lost his nerve. Why should he be nervous now, anyway? This was Killian.

It was just the two of them.

And God, but Faolán was starved for him and hadn't even realized it until he tasted him.

He playfully pinned Killian's one arm above his head and kissed him fiercely even as his hips rocked, following Killian's advice: stop thinking and just feel. Just do what felt good, listen to his body. And so he did, finding that grinding like that was easier than trying to slide up and down him--and it felt better, too, making his breath catch as Killian stroked him at a new angle that had him forgetting all about the soreness. He whimpered against the man's lips and repeated the motion, tingling clear to his toes as he truly started to see just what all the fuss was about.

"How...how is this?" he managed to gasp out, and clamped his teeth down when he felt himself wanting to moan, so it came out as more of a whine instead. "'Cause...shit...ya feel good...too good..." And he only wanted more, his movements growing more needy, more confident as he began to find a good rhythm.

Killian's face was flushed. He too was trying to hold his breath back, and his moans but...
By Ansgar's name, it felt so good to be trying to breed.

There it was again- why was he suddenly obsessed with calling sex breeding? Was it because of the additional layers of taboo? That they shouldn't.. in so many ways.. doing just this?

They were soldiers... two men, ah.. even if.. if Faolán was.. well...

Hi s eyes rolled back at the sensation of the other riding his cock. By the gods he...

He placed a hand suddenly to Faolán's hip.
"We.. we might need... need to go even slower.." he panted.  He stared up into the other man's blue eyes. His face.. no whole body felt hotter.

"I.." he licked his lips.  "M-might already be close to cumming and I.." his dick twitched inside the other- excited over the idea and Killian winced. "Gods.." he whimpered, unable to look away from Faolán's blue eyes. "I really want to have you take in my seed."
He'd feel his dick twitching again as it swelled in anticipation. 

Perhaps it was the idea they were mortals. The idea this day could be their last.. they were soldiers...

Or was it just something about the other's eyes? There was so much beauty..so much to see inside their depths...

Suddenly he began to piston up into the other with fervor. 

"F.. F..Faolán.. please!" He panted, gripping the man, tight and close. "Can I claim you?" He asked, lips meeting the others and kissing , moaning as he pistoned with need. "Can we breed?"

A hand on his hip made Faolán pause, as much as he didn't want to stop—for a strange new sensation had been growing, a deep, building heat he desperately wanted to chase. Panting, sweat shining on his skin, he peered down at Killian in dazed confusion as he warned him to go slower—only to cock his head in further puzzlement. Killian was close, but wasn't that the idea? Besides, as he'd said, they had all night—

Wait—take in his seed?

Alarm sounded in Faolán's mind, a trumpet blare of danger and warning that just about knocked him straight out of the moment, for inexperienced as he was, he wasn't a total fool. Surely Killian didn't mean—surely he didn't think...?

His eyes widened, face flushing hotter as he met the man's eyes, because that was utterly insane. Even more insane was the unexpected, forbidden thrill it sent through him, making his breath catch with a delicious shiver. Perhaps it was a terrible idea to make these kinds of choices while high on pleasure and thinking with all the wrong anatomy—because he was still frozen in surprise when Killian suddenly broke the spell, pulling him down against him and lancing up into him with an intensity that stole his breath.

All thought fled.

"Oh God!" he gasped, falling against the man's chest and clinging hard to him, pressing his mouth against his shoulder to muffle his cries. It was so different from his experimental grinding, so raw and animalistic as he plunged wetly up into him, and though he was still a little sore he found he craved the pain in a strange way. It hurt, but not as much as the thought of losing Killian. He wanted more of it, wanted to be reminded of this for days—

And God yes, he wanted to be claimed by him.

Desperately, Faolán kissed him back, fingernails digging into his shoulders and teeth grazing his lips as he whimpered against his mouth. And between needy kisses, he heard Killian beg to claim him.

He may have missed the rest.

"Take me," Faolán gasped, and he pulled at Killian, urging him to roll atop him. "Please..."

Killian's lips sealed to his. He'd feel the vibration of his desperate moans as he rolled to position himself atop the other. Even with just the one arm, Killian moved without reservations as his lips found Faolán's once more and he was soon moving with need. 

So much pleasure was building- rapid and quick, as he continued to buck into Faolán's body. Gods he was so tight.. so...

He was moving so rhymically deep the other would surely feel his all as sexes slapped together with rapid fervor. His peak was nearing, the intensity of that pleasure so wild, so insane he could think of nothing else as he began to cry out Faolán's name, ramming his cock deep inside and pausing as deeply buried as he could and then cried out.

The other would feel the overwhelming pump of his hot seed- that, for a few brief instances, seemed to last forever. Killian's eyes rolled back at the pleasure- the climax was so intense none other he had could compare.

And then he collapsed into a heap atop of the other man, panting and raw of breath...

Only to realize..

Only to realize...


He was still ready to go.

Rolled beneath Killian, all Faolán could do was cling to the other man as he pounded into him with an intensity that stole his breath away. All thought ceased; all he could do was feel, enveloped by Killian's warmth against him, inside him, his hands clawing at his back to pull him in closer.

He never wanted to let go. Not again. 

Not after losing him.

He cried out, but only once before he pressed his lips to Killian's shoulder to muffle his sounds so they came out as whimpers instead, because he was afraid of what might happen if he didn't. People might hear. And it wasn't just embarrassment that drove him, but a deep fear of discovery—which, strangely, only made him burn hotter with that reminder that they could both die any day for any number of reasons, from someone finding out his identity to war wounds to everything in between.

But for now, nothing could take this from them.

Killian grew fiercer and Faolán had to bite his shoulder to keep from screaming as he filled him so completely, impossibly deep until he thought he could take no more, that strange pressure building. He bucked his hips against Killian, wanting more, wanting to see where that lead, his body teasing and shivering as he heard his name on Killian's lips—but then suddenly he felt the man plunge deep and he cried out sharply. He could feel him spasming inside him, feel a rush of heat, and as Killian collapsed atop him he let out a grunt as the air whooshed from his lungs. He didn't find his own release; everything was so fresh, too many new, wild sensations to focus on, and to be honest—he wasn't quite sure how that worked for someone with his anatomy.

But he didn't care.

And then all he could do was lay there, panting raggedly, running his hands though Killian's hair and kissing his neck. Holy shit...oh my God...

"Is this real?" he managed to whisper when he found the breath to speak.

Killian only laughed before he kissed him.
"I... I think it feels real enough," he countered, face flush. Then slowly, ever so slowly, he began to move through his hot, slick sex.

"...Fair point," Faolán said with a sheepish laugh that cut off with a sharp gasp when Killian began to move, his body lighting up anew. Everything felt so sensitive, and he felt a little tender from his roughness, but he only arched up into Killian and kissed him hungrily. His hands tangled in his hair, body shivering.

"Again?" he breathed, a hopeful note in his voice.

Killian shivered, a thrill rushing through him.
"Only if.. if you.. you want to," came his croaked reply, eye lids hanging low as he moved slowly, in and out in a tasting rhythm. 

In answer, Faolán slid his hands down to grip Killian's ass, hips rolling up to meet his gentle thrusts. If someone cried uncle, he was determined that it wouldn't be him.

"I ain't lettin' you go again," he whispered against his ear, breath coming out in hot pants against his skin. "Don't leave me again, alright? Don't—oh."

The timing was just right. Killian's thrust timed perfectly with his own gentle buck, sending a bright shock of pleasure through him that had his breath hitching and body tensing. He gasped, eyes fluttering shut, and tried to repeat the motion, tried to chase that sensation.

"Dumb question," he managed to get out between breaths, his face reddening in embarrassment. He forced the words out anyway; Killian wouldn't judge him, right? "But...can I, uh...cum...too? Is that a thing? Or is that just a people with dicks thing?"

Killian's mind did somersaults over the very question he hadnt expected to hear. 

"Of.. of course," he huffed out between pants and whines of pleasure. "Of course you can. You.. have you.. pleasured.. yourself before?" He asked between long, lapping thrusts. He flushed. It seemed a silly question, all things considered. 

"Made yourself get to that brink you just... explode with pleasure?" 

His eyes rolled back as he shuddered at the sensation, and even winced some as he realized his own explosion was beginning to leak out around them.

"Just.. move your body using mine.. use me to get yourself there."

The very idea these were his first of many things...
He was rock hard by the very idea of it.

"Just tell me what I need to do."

His lips found thr others as he moaned.

"I want to get you to scream,' he told the other, voice husky.. hungry...

"Ah...well...n-no..." Faolán admitted as his cheeks grew hotter, both because Killian was doing magical things with his hips and because it was a little...embarrassing to confess he knew so little as a grown-ass adult. He shuddered and bit his lip to hold back a moan, pulling Killian in tighter. God, it was almost torturous but a good kind, so different from their earlier roughness. He'd loved being 'claimed' and wanted more of it, but this slow rocking, feeling every inch of him as he moved, and how much better it felt when he did his best to roll his hips up in time...

He almost forgot what he was saying. Speaking was hard. "N-not 'cause I ain't curious! Just...y'know...my, uh...my situation...?"

If any other man got caught with his hands down his pants, he'd suffer embarrassment and teasing at the worst. For Faolán, just taking a piss risked his life.

But here and now that was the least of his worries; for a rare moment he truly felt safe.

Loved—

He stopped the thought in its tracks, startled by it, but it didn't linger long. Not with Killian describing the process (exploding with pleasure?) and then instructing him how to get there. Use him? Use his body to get there...?

Oh, Faolán very much liked the idea of that.

The screaming, though...?

"We shouldn't..." he gasped out, eyes fluttering open to peer up at Killian through hooded eyes. "People could hear..." And yet he shuddered at the thought, clenching around Killian--with excitement and nerves alike. God, what was with that? With being attracted to stupidly dangerous ideas? Maybe the war had broke him, or maybe it was the irreverent flirting with mortality, because the idea both scared and thrilled him and had him moving more urgently against the other man, kissing him hungrily and raking his nails down his spine.

Lips sealed to Killian's, tongue tasting him, he planted his feet on the bed for purchase as he rode him from the bottom, searching again for the right motion, the right angle, that had made his breath catch. Use him, he said, and so he did. It took a few tries--and he did not mind the journey--but suddenly he gripped Killain tighter with a gasping cry as his cock stroked just the right spot as their pelvises ground together. "There." He bit his lip hard, trembling with the effort to keep quiet as goosebumps rose along his skin, and he pressed his lips to Killian's shoulder to hide another whimper. "Right there. Oh God, you feel so...so..."

Unlike before, where a wild fervor took him- the one-armed man took his time- sliding all the way in and out at a torturous and slow pace. But he made sure to keep that angle, to milk that sensation as he moaned softly and watched the other react.

It was perfect. Killian was perfect.

The torturous pace only made that delicious heat and tension grow as Faolán lost himself to the sensations and all else ceased to exist. He moved wantonly against Killian with soft moans and gasps, chasing that building pleasure—was this what Killian was talking about?—until it was almost too much.

"Killian...oh God, Killian...!" he whimpered, trembling like a bowstring pulled taut as he lingered right at that brink, his nails digging into the man's back.

And then toppled over it.

Killian got his wish; he screamed before he could smash his mouth against Killian's to muffle the sound, his every nerve on fire as he clung helplessly to the other man, shaking uncontrollably.

Had he not came already- Killian wasn't sure he could last that kind of riding. And Faolán wasn't even focused on him.

As the other's thrusts became more frantic, Killian gripped onto his hips, helping him, holding him down as he rode his cock like he were some wild stallion.

And then they were kissing- his own moans joining Faolán's as he let the other ride out his peak.   

Then he moved to put the other on his side, he moving in to spoon behind as his dick slipped between Faolán's legsfrom the back. He prodded for entry, moving slow and trying to align their bodies.

And then he was inside the other, the entry causing him to moan. At this angle, it forced Faolán's sex more tightly around him and he had to really push and angle himself to stay inside. 

Then once he got a rhythm going, he wrapped his arm around Faolán and began to kiss at the other's neck.

Faolán was still trembling and breathless, still sensitive (and senseless) from his climax, when Killian was moving him. He let himself be rolled, feeling utterly boneless and a little light-headed and tingly, and God he would have been willing to agree with, or do, anything that man asked him in that moment. 

Killian's body was hot against his back as he pressed against him, and at first he thought he was just going to hold him—but then he felt him between his legs, prodding, and he shivered and tried to arch back against him, wanting him. Again? God, he hadn't been kidding, which was fine by him when he felt like he was burning and only Killian could relieve him. 

Just when he was going to break and beg him to hurry, rocking his hips back with a needy whine as though to urge him on, he felt him slide home and gasped, tensing with pleasure. Killian's seed and his own arousal made it much easier this time, his tenderness just a memory (but something he would likely feel later), and the angle had him stroking bright new spots that stole his breath. 

Crying out, he grabbed at Killian's arm, holding him tightly, those kisses only making his skin burn hotter. He was beyond caring, beyond sense as the other man took him, rocking back against him as much as he could.

"Oh, fuck, Killian...oh fuck...!" And then he cut off with a sobbing moan as he came again, his last release bleeding into the next, so intense he swore he couldn't breathe.

Killian held on fiercely as the other rode out their orgasm. He shuddered, delighting in the fact this man could make the other feel this way. 

As Faolán calmed, Killian smiled and kissed his hair. 

"It seems you really like this new angle.." A hand smoothed down Faolán's form- feeling the soft skin from his breasts to his sex.

"Why don't you move.. see what feels really good to you as we lay this way."

Faolán could only nod at first, because speaking seemed like it would be incredibly difficult. What were words again? But as Killian gave him a chance to come down from his high, kissing his hair and caressing him in a way that made him squirm, he finally managed to muster up a response.

"I love it...ya feel amazing," he managed to pant, and his face flushed because that seemed like such a weak way to put it. But amazing was all he had. Anything else would take more brainpower than he had right then.

His hand smoothed over Killian's as it traveled downward and he opened his legs, encouraging him, because he'd liked the way he'd touched him before. And as Killian encouraged him to move, he let his eyes roll shut and rocked his hips back, breath shuddering as he took Killian as deeply as he could. And then he began to grind on him, following his body's cues, moving in little circular motions that had him moaning. Though soon it wasn't enough, and soon he was thrusting back against him as much as the limited space would allow, longing to feel their hips slamming together again.

"i...I never knew it could be like this," he breathed.

He never knew he could want someone like this.

"Fuck me."

Killian held onto the other, tight. He kept his body angled forward, his hand on the other's hip. Then his hands were guided between the other's sweet legs and he began to feel around and play with the slick, sensitive flesh. 

And then he heard the words and moaned.  His hips moved with sudden hunger, sudden need and he moved abd coaxed the other onto his knees.  Now he took him from behind, pistoning into the other with hunger.. with fervor as he moaned. 

" Ansgar's name.. Faolán.."

He squeezed his eyes shut, slamming into him deeply like a mounted dog. Panting, he buried himself balls deep- each thrust slapping his balls against Faolán as his moans of pleasure grew.

Faolán's legs shook as he moved onto his hands and knees, somewhat doubting his ability to keep from collapsing. But he did as Killian guided him to do, fully trusting of him and curious—even if his face had flushed hot when he realized his intent. And then Killian took him again and he whimpered, holding steady at first and gripping the sheets for purchase—until his arms gave out as those thrusts only grew hungrier, more forceful, until he swore he could feel each one in his bones. 

With a yelp, he fell forward onto his elbows and clawed at the bedsheets, clinging so hard his knuckles went white. It felt a bit dirty being taken like this, like an animal, with Killian slamming against him until it nearly hurt and felt like he could take no more—and yet he only grew slicker, crying out wildly until he was nearly sobbing with pleasure. 

"Killian, Killian, please!" he begged, though he wasn't sure what it was he wanted. For him to never stop, for this moment to never end. "Oh God, don't stop...!"

And then he felt it again, felt that familiar peak of pleasure, and he turned his face into the pillow to muffle himself as he screamed.

While Faolán's cries were muffled, Killian's were not- as he thrust and thrusted before tossing back his head, eyes rolling back to see his brains as he released a loud moan of ecstasy.

Faolán would feel him become filled with great hot bursts before the other man collapsed onto the sheets beside him.

Killian collapsed beside him, and Faolán let himself flop over with him, fighting to catch his breath. He was a sweaty mess, his hair sticking to his face, though the worst of the mess was...

A problem for later.

Still feeling all tingly and more than a little giddy, his heart still racing, he was half convinced this was just a vivid, naughty dream. He rolled over into Killian and threw an arm around him as he snuggled in close, needing the confirmation that he was there, all flesh and heat and very, very real. 

He was tired, he was sore all over—but he was also the happiest he had been in...God...how long?

It had to be real.

He pressed his face against Killian's chest, kissing him there idly. "Love ya," he murmured before he could help it, so high on bliss he didn't care about the consequences just then. He didn't care if Killian didn't feel the same. It didn't matter, he thought as his chest squeezed painfully. He had lost him once before—he needed him to know.

Killian groaned as their two sweaty bodies snuggled together. He was hoping to cool down but was too tired and well, happy to ask Faolán to move.

Then he spoke.

Those words. 

And he grew quiet. 

He thought over the implication, the meaning.. the truth.. before he removed the arm draped over his face as he studied the other snuggled in close.

"Do you.. do you really? Faolán.." he studied the others face and.. considering all they have gone through....

"I mean..  are you sure you want to say that to me of all men?" He joked. "You could always confess to a nice boy with two arms," the other teased. 

Faolán normally would have laughed at the joke, but he only shook his head firmly, meeting Killian's eyes, a determined look in his own.

"Of course I'm sure. I've been holdin' onto this for...a long time." He swallowed, nerves starting to creep in at last as the reality of what he'd admitted truly sank in through the haze of endorphins. He shifted a little, lowering his eyes. Too late to take it back—and he wouldn't want to anyway. He had to commit.

"You don't have to feel the same," he added quietly. "It's okay if ya don't. I just wanted ya to know, in case...in case I never got the chance again. I don't care if ya got no arms or legs, Killian. And...and I don't care if ya don't like me like I like you. Ya probably shouldn't. I'm...well...y'know."

Broken. Different.

He gave a helpless shrug and looked back up at Killian, reaching up to cup his chin. He pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"Ya deserve a nice, pretty girl that'll give ya six babies and a warm, cozy home. As long as you'll still be my friend, I'm happy."

A lot of what he said sobered him. Now that the insanity of the heat and moment were gone..

He frowned worried worriedly and stared into the other's eyes.

"We are friends, Faolán... nothing is going to change that.  But this... if it's love, and it might be.. I.. we.. " his voice trailed off.

"What.. what we did.. it might.." ugh, he hated how he fumbled over this but..

The other had to know.

"Faolán... what we did... we.. you do know I.. I could have... you.. could get pregnant. "

If it's love, and it might be...

Faolán's hopes hit the ceiling—only to come crashing back down a couple seconds later from a good smack of cold, hard reality, courtesy of Killian. He stiffened, his eyes widening, before he looked away and tucked his face against the crook of Killian's neck, not caring if he was all sticky.

"I...I know..." he mumbled, and now that the high had worn off...God, how bloody stupid could he be? His face burned with a flash of shame, his pulse racing anew for a different reason now. Foolish, so foolish.

 "I know, but..."

Oh God...what if...?

No, no. Don't panic...

With a deep breath, he lifted his head to look up at Killian. "It's okay, though! It'll be okay. I didn't just, y'know, let ya do that recklessly. I've hung out with my share of whores, they all have a way to stop that from happenin'. They take some sorta medicine. I'll just ask one of the workin' girls and say it's for my true love back home or some nonsense." He rolled his eyes at the notion of that, snorting, before he flashed a reassuring smile up at Killian.

In his mind, the problem was now solved.

He did not mention the pregnant whores he'd met. 

"Besides, some women try for months to get with child. You're my first. It's not like one night's gonna do it, right? We'll be more careful next time."

Killian wasn't sure how he felt about all that. Wasn't there risks? Even if he got pregnant... that in itself was also a risk.

Killian remained quiet for a long while before he replied in the only way he could..

By wrapping Faolán in his arm protectively, holding the other tight. He wished he still had both his arms.. but Ansgar's name ..
Atleast he had one of them to hold him with.

It would be okay. It would be okay. They would be okay.

Faolán repeated it in his head like a mantra.

And even if Killian hadn't given him an answer, hadn't confirmed or denied that he felt the same—it didn't matter. Because Faolán had him here right now, nestled in his one-armed embrace, and nothing could take this from them. No matter what happened.

It was worth it.

Even if it wasn't love, he felt loved.

Faolán wrapped his own arms around Killian and gave him a gentle squeeze, his eyes fluttering shut. One hand lightly caressed down Killian's spine, tracing the contours of his back, as he slowly relaxed. He felt heavy, content; who knew sex would be that exhausting? But as he shifted to adjust himself against the other man, he suddenly made a face as his thighs stuck together and cracked his eyes open.

"Ya made a mess of me," he murmured sleepily, playful accusation in his voice. "I'm all...sticky."

At that..Killian couldn't help but laugh. It was a raw and genuine sound as he pulled the other man closer and kissed him fierce.

"Sorry about that.. I er.. usually use like a clothe or something.."

He blushed then stole another kiss.

Maybe this was love. Whatever this was.. it sure made him feel wonderful.

Killian reached towards a dirty shirt of his and tossed it at Faolán.
"Use that for now.. I.. errr.  There's likely a lot. " His blush deepened. How many times did he cum anyway?

"Also if.. if it does happen and.. you.. i.. I made you with child.."
His eyes held Faolán 's.

"I'll be with you. We could start this thing together.  Or whatever you decide. "

Faolán couldn't help it; he burst into laughter at Killian's sudden awkwardness, finding it so utterly charming in a way that was pure Killian. It was adorable. Minutes ago the man had been pounding him so fiercely and without a lick of shame, and now here he was blushing over the aftermath.

A lot was, indeed, an understatement.

He took the shirt, turned onto his back, and started to wipe between his legs, his shyness gone now because...well, what was the point when Killian had seen and touched everything? Shooting Killian an amused look, he did his best to clean the worst of it—and then froze as the man's next words sobered him completely.

Wh...what...?

He stared up at Killian, blinking rapidly, and his heart skipped a nervous beat.

"W-well...I mean...it's not like we'll have to worry about that..." he said slowly, and gave a nervous laugh. "And I don't want ya to stay with me outta obligation. If you just see me as a friend...a friend you can fool around with...it's okay. Really. Even if ya don't feel like I do, this is enough. I'll take it."

He mustered up a smile, then ducked his head away with sudden awkward shyness and went back to cleaning himself up.

"I can't get with child, anyway. Like...I can't. If anyone found out...I'd be so bloody dead, Killian."

There was so much to digest there. It actually made him frown. He touched Faolán's arm and looked into his eyes.

"Faolán.. I hope you didn't think that I did this just to do it only once. I.. this...  I do care for you, Faolán.. A lot and I.. this.. we.. its just opening up alot of questions about myself and I.."

Oh boy- how to even begin?

He frowned again, looking into the other's eyes.

"I think I'd like to see where this goes. Us.. I mean."

He found the other's hand and laced his fingers with their's.

The touch on his arm, and the sincerity and seriousness in Killian's eyes, made Faolán swallow anything else he might have babbled out. Instead he met Killian's gaze and listened—and his belly did a nervous, excited flip-flop at the man's words. They were stilted, and awkward, but he latched onto them. This wasn't just a one and done thing. He cared for him—well of course he did; Faolán knew there was affection between them, he just wasn't sure what kind.

But he listened as Killian did his best to explain.

Questions about himself?

Faolán cocked his head curiously, about to ask what kind of questions—though he had a feeling he might know—but then Killian said it.

I think I'd like to see where this goes.

It was more than he'd expected. More than enough. It was a chance—and that was all he wanted.

Faolán sucked in a breath, his fingers curling around Killian's tightly and his eyes searching his pale blue gaze. His chest squeezed, his heart thumping away, and God, did Killian even know how gorgeous he was, inside and out? Arm, no arm, it didn't change a thing. He'd adored him when he was whole and unmarred and he adored him now with all his imperfections; he wanted nothing more than to kiss his every scar, each one part of a greater constellation showing what he'd endured and survived.

Sudden emotion made it hard to breathe. "I'd like that, too," he said, pulling Killian's hand to his lips so he could kiss along his knuckles before pressing his cheek into his palm. "Our next big adventure? Maybe with less monsters this time?"

Killian laughed softly at that.

"I only have one other arm to lose so we might need to limit those adventures."

"It's fiiiine, I've got a spare," Faolán said with a grin. "Besides, the most adventurin' I wanna do right now involves you and this bed, and checkin' out the festival later. I don't think there's much arm-chopping' going on there."

Killian eyed the other than laughed.

"If you've got a spare- maybe you should share that extra arm of yours. You're clearly not using it and I'm the better swordman?" He goaded, teased.

"Pffft! You may be the better swordsman, but I'm the better beastslayer!" Faolán said, cuddling in closer. Never mind that he'd been the one injured back then while Killian always had more...finesse. He still bore the scars to that day, on his thigh and his side, a reminder of the trip that had changed...well, everything for Faolán.

"I need both arms to better protect ya. You handle the people, I'll beat up the monsters. Deal?"

Killian laughed at that. 
They truly had been through much.

"Why do I get stuck with the people?" He complained. 

"'Cause you're sweet as pie and charming as a prince," Faolán said, batting his eyelashes at the man. "You're a natural. People love ya."

He snuck a quick kiss in, pressing lips just below Killian's ear. "...and 'cause I don't wanna deal with 'em."

"Hey!" He blushed. "Don't bat those lashes at me!"

He looked down at the other, trying to glare but failing miserably. 

"Maybe I don't wanna deal with people either! " 

But he couldn't help it and laughed, stealing a quick kiss to the other's lips.

"Come on, two-arms, you've got way less reasons for people to stare at you funny. Besides... monsters think I'm delicious. "

"And they'd be right! You are delicious!" Faolán said, trailing a hand up Killian's neck to play with his hair. "Lookit you, all laying there lookin' like a tasty snack. Who can blame them for wantin' a little nibble?"

And he curled his fingers in his hair then and gently pulled his head to the side, but only so he could lean in and give his neck a playful chomp with an exaggerated om nom nom! sound.

"It's perfect!" he added, voice muffled. "See, you're the bait!"

And that's when Killian suddenly exploded with laughter. 

"Ahh, Faolán!" He yelped. "That-" he yelped again and laughed, trying to pry the other away. "That tickles!" There was more laughing . "S-s-Stop!"

"Oh my God, you're ticklish?!"

Never one to miss an opening in battle, Faolán used Killian's moment of weakness to pin him, quickly rolling to straddle him. Ohoho! What a fun new discovery! Maybe it wasn't fair taking advantage of a one-armed man like this, but Killian was the better fighter, and bigger than him; he was certain he could fend him off.

"That tickles? Where else are ya ticklish? I barely did anything!" he laughed, and then tickled under his armpits. 

Killian yelped again, jerking defensively as the other went in for the kill. 

"F..F...Faolán!!!" He all but screamed, writhing as the other mounted him and tried to terrorize him with more tickles. 

He tried to buck the other man off of him but it seemed just about every inch of him became ticklish as he thrashed beneath his mercy.

This was so beyond silly, two grown men having a (one-sided) tickle-fight. But God if he couldn't help himself. Killian really was adorable—and c'mon, he had to lord this over him a little since it was the one area he could defeat him in!

"Tell me I'm the awesomest, handsomest, most amazing mighty warrior and I miiiight have mercy on ya," Faolán said with a wicked grin, adjusting his weight on Killian when the man bucked like Killian was a misbehaving horse. "Maybe! Gotta be convincing about it!"

And then went in for the kill. Sliding a little further down, he blew a loud, wet raspberry on his belly.

"What?" He barked through a laugh. "You want me to say what?" He couldn't stop laughing, writhing. "That.. that's almost as.. as.. ridiculous as.. as a one armed soldier that's ticklish!"

Except well.. here they were.

Faolán gasped, rearing back with a hand to his heart. "Ridiculous? Ridiculous?! Well, now you've gone and done it! More tickles for you, I don't make the rules!"

And he attacked him again without mercy, searching for new spots he could exploit.

The problem with finding new spots to exploit was that everywhere  was ticklish. And the more Faolán pushed the wilder the other man bucked- and soon their heads collided and he was seeing stars. And when he tried to recoil, he hadn't realized how close he was to the edge of rhe bed- and was soon spilling over the side in a heap. 

His legs were still partially on the bed, entangled by bed sheets and Faolán. 

He groaned. 

Crack! 

It happened so fast, and for a moment Faolán's vision whited out before pain exploded along his brow. He yelped—then yelped again when he felt them both pitch over. It was a miracle they didn't smack their heads again.

They landed with a clatter onto the floorboards, Faolán collapsed atop Killian with one of his own legs caught in the sheets. For a moment he lay there dazed, groaning and rubbing at his forehead where a huge red bump was already swelling.

"Oh...owww...I guess I deserved that..." he mumbled as he tried to lift up with his arms. But he was still dazed enough to forget his trapped leg and he collapsed again—and bumped heads with Killian once more.

Killian swore as they bumped heads again. That really hurt! But as he too, tried to adjust their bodies from their entangled embrace- he found the bed sheets unyielding. 

"Faolán! What did you do to these sheets?"

He tried to sit up to see, then paused to realize the pair were in a comically compromising position. Be couldn't help but laugh. 

"Seriously.. how did we get so.. tangled up?"

"Whatcha mean what'd I do?" Faolán said, hand on his throbbing forehead to rub away the hurt. "I'm innocent in all this! Buuut if I had to guess..."

He shot Killian a knowing look, one eyebrow raised, and then pointedly glanced down. Yeah, compromising was putting it lightly, considering they were naked with their limbs all tangled and he was collapsed against Killian's chest. He snorted a laugh, shaking his head, and gave his leg another useless shake to try to free it.

"I dunno. It maybe, just maybe, might have something to do with you tossing me around every which way."

Killian cut him a look.
"Maybe if someone didn't tickle me.. I wouldn't have been bucking around like a horse.."
And.. despite the cruelty of the situation- with their naked bodies pressed tight...

He was kinda hard again. 

"Hey, you asked for it! Said you're delicious to monsters and I guess I'm a monster..."

Faolán trailed off, coming to awareness about the same time Killian did—because he could feel the man growing stiff against him. And suddenly he was hyper-aware of their nakedness again, whereas before he had been so distracted with the ridiculousness of everything that it hadn't phased him.

He felt his face heat up again, and gave his hips a teasing wiggle. "Um...again...?"

Killian's face went red.

"W..what?! With you? After what you just did to me?" He went on with exaggerated exasperation. "I'm just hard out of frustration!"

And totally not for other much more obvious reasons!

"What I did to ya?! You smacked me in the head—with your head!"

But even as he said it, he leaned in and pressed his lips to the side of Killian's neck—but there were no raspberries this time, just the gentle caress of his lips and soft nibble of his teeth. "I forgive you, though."

Killian stiffened. Feeling the softness and warmth of the kiss against his neck made him shiver. He moved within the tangle of sheets so he could roll, well- partially so- overtop of Faolán so as he looked into the other's eyes. His smile grew sheepish as he realized his errection was prodding the other.

"Forgive me? You're the one with the hard head."

And before the other could protest, he kissed him suddenly-

.. and maybe reminded him of the other hard head.

Rolled over, Faolán wrapped his arms around Killian's neck and played with the hair at the nape, still grinning impishly. Though it lost some of its mischief when he felt Killian prod against him, his breath hitching and hips rolling up to meet him. Hard to stay cocky when he was being distracted by, well...a cock. "Yeah...but you—!"

He cut off with a muffled gasp as Killian shut him up in the most effective way, his hands tangling in his hair as he kissed him hungrily, desperately, his tongue sliding in for a taste. God he didn't realize how much he needed him until he finally had him—and now that he had him, he never wanted to let him go.

Impatient, he bucked against him, urging him to slide home and whimpering against his lips.