I've decided to upgrade my Pluizig species a bit :)
So now instead of them have a bird head (let's be honest that's over used a bit ^^') why not use a round raptor like head with a slight beak shape to it and different types of horns? Such as a Kirin, rhino, dragon, deer etc.
The muzzle and the bridge on the nose along with a bit of the cheeks would be scaled. The ears would have different variations
As for the fur and floof of the fur depending on the climate and genetic make up of where they are from or the parents are from would determine the thickness and type of fur present.
The eyes have a vast variety of coloring. Seriously anything would work for these fluff balls!
Their forlegs would be that of a owls or harpy eagles talons and the rear feet would have dragon feet. The fur would stop at the elbow for the forelegs and the hind legs would be completely furred.
Their tails would have different variations, some would be fluffy like a squirrel while some would be like a raptor or a bunnys tail.
Some would have wings while others don't. The wings would be in a special casing in the area behind the shoulders until the Pluizig is old enough and the wings would then induce increadible inchyness and the Pluizig would then scratch them out the casing.
They hunt and live in packs also behave like wolves would. Though of course some would prefer to be loners or live in a pair.
That's all I have so far if anyone has any suggestions on how to improve the writing portion of developing this species let me know in the reply section! :)
~Iselona
Heya. Very vivid description, I like how you gave it a kind of cute appearance with predatory undertones. I do have a few suggestions as to how you might better present them, and ideas that mgiht help you flesh them out.
I also recommend you work from the inside out. Start with a specific colony, see how you end up writing them, and then build outwards.
--WRITTEN DESCRIPTION--
The way you describe your Pluizig is kind of like a chimera. You focus a lot on the different animal extremities. As a reader its difficult to put these parts together in my head as I'm focused more on the parts than the whole. I recommend trying to generate a short 3-4 sentence long description that makes it easy to visualize without too much reading. It sounds like a fun creature but you don't want to make your readers work to figure out your vision. Readers are lazy.
1) Start with the body-type. Give us one familiar animal to start with. Its a "fluff-ball" so is it bulky and bottom-heavy like a bear? Though you do mention cat-like forelimbs and dragon-like hind-limbs, so it might also have a sleeker feline body underneath all that fur. Start there.
2) Now mention the feathers, talon-like feet, and avian/theropod head. So now you can easily describe it as a "cat/bear-like creature, the size of an elephant, with shaggy fur and hawkish features" or some-such.
3) Add one to two more unique details. Maybe the horns and feather patterns? Make it simple. You don't want to give it "dragon horns" or "kirin horns" and have people needing to use google to figure out which interpretation of those magical creatures to imagine.
4) If you want to change the bird-head out for a raptor's... keep in mind when people hear raptor they think Jurassic park. If you want to give it more of a theropod-look you may want to re-frame it as a kind of fuzzy dragon.
5) I notice you mention a lot of different variations. Some have three tails, some have wings, and their plumage varies greatly by climate. I understand your reasoning in saying "anything goes" - it makes your species more open to use by others, and leaves room for growth in the future. But I suggest you be decisive and assign features which might be adaptive and fit their way of life. You'd expect to see some kind of divergent evolution or sexual selection with respect to wings, tails, and plumage. Do girls like big horns? Do the males want winged sons that would be great hunters and spurn their wingless offspring?
---HISTORY AND CULTURE---
So the rider selection idea seems neat and I definitely want to know more about your pact. These are a couple of questions I have which might help you flesh their society out further.
Why was this pact formed? Is this between a specific colony of Pluizig and a specific city? Do some resent having their children taken away to be reared as beasts of burden? And what sort of magic do they have? Why ride one in world's filled with dagons and wizards?
I hope this helps! I look forward to your final Result!
Quote from: Whim on January 22, 2017, 11:13:22 AM
Heya. Very vivid description, I like how you gave it a kind of cute appearance with predatory undertones. I do have a few suggestions as to how you might better present them, and ideas that mgiht help you flesh them out.
I also recommend you work from the inside out. Start with a specific colony, see how you end up writing them, and then build outwards.
--WRITTEN DESCRIPTION--
The way you describe your Pluizig is kind of like a chimera. You focus a lot on the different animal extremities. As a reader its difficult to put these parts together in my head as I'm focused more on the parts than the whole. I recommend trying to generate a short 3-4 sentence long description that makes it easy to visualize without too much reading. It sounds like a fun creature but you don't want to make your readers work to figure out your vision. Readers are lazy.
1) Start with the body-type. Give us one familiar animal to start with. Its a "fluff-ball" so is it bulky and bottom-heavy like a bear? Though you do mention cat-like forelimbs and dragon-like hind-limbs, so it might also have a sleeker feline body underneath all that fur. Start there.
2) Now mention the feathers, talon-like feet, and avian/theropod head. So now you can easily describe it as a "cat/bear-like creature, the size of an elephant, with shaggy fur and hawkish features" or some-such.
3) Add one to two more unique details. Maybe the horns and feather patterns? Make it simple. You don't want to give it "dragon horns" or "kirin horns" and have people needing to use google to figure out which interpretation of those magical creatures to imagine.
4) If you want to change the bird-head out for a raptor's... keep in mind when people hear raptor they think Jurassic park. If you want to give it more of a theropod-look you may want to re-frame it as a kind of fuzzy dragon.
5) I notice you mention a lot of different variations. Some have three tails, some have wings, and their plumage varies greatly by climate. I understand your reasoning in saying "anything goes" - it makes your species more open to use by others, and leaves room for growth in the future. But I suggest you be decisive and assign features which might be adaptive and fit their way of life. You'd expect to see some kind of divergent evolution or sexual selection with respect to wings, tails, and plumage. Do girls like big horns? Do the males want winged sons that would be great hunters and spurn their wingless offspring?
---HISTORY AND CULTURE---
So the rider selection idea seems neat and I definitely want to know more about your pact. These are a couple of questions I have which might help you flesh their society out further.
Why was this pact formed? Is this between a specific colony of Pluizig and a specific city? Do some resent having their children taken away to be reared as beasts of burden? And what sort of magic do they have? Why ride one in world's filled with dagons and wizards?
I hope this helps! I look forward to your final Result!
Thanks! Those are ideas I'll have to try out :3 when I get home I'm gonna start sketching them. If I do use one of your suggestions I'll make sure I'll link back to you (it'll feel wrong if I dont 8)
Updated the Pluizig writing a bit http://sheshia.deviantart.com/art/Whats-is-a-Pluizig-657830147?ga_submit_new=10%253A1485137263&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1
(Typing it late at night with a cat trying to eat your leg is hard lol)
Much better :) I like the idea of 4-wings. It gives them a kind of alien feel. I do think though, if they're cat-like, its hard to imagine them being able to take on a bipedal 'avian' stance ("wyvern-like") without a very long and meaty tail to balance the weight. I'd stick with the quadruped configuration.
Otherwise I think, especially if you want to run a plot about them, focus on developing the culture of the colony and people who ride them. What's the nature of this bargain and what purpose do these riders achieve? Mutual protection from a past enemy? A gesture of peace between the pluizig and humanity?
And lastly since you wanna run this plot in SotE I recommend trying to adapt them to the reality of the setting a bit. Griffons and dragons exist in the world. Do pluizig have any relationships to those species? Is their riding tradition an off-shoot of Adela's? Perhaps efforts by a culture that wanted to avoid conquest by dragon-riders? Perhaps pluizig can hunt dragons?
Updated: Sketch Process
http://sheshia.deviantart.com/art/Pluizig-Design-Ref-661154691