Spirits of the Earth

@visualspice

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In, two, three; out, two, three...

Adelaide Alamoch daintily placed one foot in front of the other as she made her way carefully across the practice rope two of her fellow troupe members had erected just within view of the road. It wasn't anything like a highwire--maybe ten feet off the ground--but they'd still insisted on putting up the safety net before letting her up to work on her routine.

She hadn't been working at the tightrope long, but she'd thought it could be an interesting addition to her act. Maybe start on the wire, do some sort of prat fall, catch the trapeze on her way down...

"We need some music!" Carlotta, a middle aged woman who worked mainly with costuming but was seemingly putting her talents to set-pitching this bright, breezy day, called out suddenly from where she was helping three other people begin pitching the merchants' and single-patron talents' tents. At least, the ones whose owners were too busy spreading word in the nearby city to pitch themselves.

Adelaide smiled even as she rose up onto her toe and spun to face the opposite direction from the center of the rope. It trembled treacherously beneath her, but she refused to lose her step. Breathe. In, two, three, out, two, three...

"Where's the fae lad when you need him?" Snake called back in mild agreement from where he was busy juggling half a dozen blades--not juggling literally, though Adelaide had certainly seen him do that more than once, not even always as part of the show. He seemed to be helping their old smith, Reth, move his stores.

"I do believe he's rehearsing," she called down from her perch, delciately placing  one foot down in front of the other. She paused, then lifted her leg into a swift, graceful arabesque before letting gravity take her--just for a moment--and falling sideways just far enough to catch herself with the crook of her left knee around the rope.

"Rehearsing," Carlotta scoffed. "I swear, the way he and Elea carry on, it's a miracle they have anything to perform."

A round of raucous but not mean-spirited laughter followed her quip. Even Adelaide found herself chuckling a bit, despite the blush that lit her cheeks at the innuendo.

"Speaking of rehearsals," Snake drawled, with such a telegraphed glance upward that Adelaide had absolutely no hope of missing it. "I thought you were on leave for the next two days."

She crinkled her nose at him upside down. "Maybe I like spending my leave right here," she pointed out mildly.

The contortionist gave her a very dry look, even as she started to curl herself back up to grip her rope and lay herself out flat on her back. "We don't have a real show until the full moon--Uthlyn is barely an hour's walk! You could go see the city you know, instead of insisting on spending every waking hour here."

"I like it here," she protested.

"We are at least taking you out for the night come your birthday next week!" one of the younger seamstresses who worked under Carlotta threatened cheerfully.

Adelaide rolled her eyes and turned her head to say that she didn't need anyone taking her out for any reason, and anyway, just what was everyone so suddenly interested in her social life outside carnival grounds for, when a sudden glint from Snake's direction caught her attention. It was just a flicker, really, like light off metal at an odd angle--but it came with that tingle up the back of her neck that sometimes accompanied her Sight.

It startled her enough that she turned toward it automatically, trying to find the source. One of the blades he was carrying...a knife? What--what was that? And aura, but not fae, not demonic, not even divine, it was...

She'd moved too fast. Without her mask, the danger of her Sight and her profession collided abruptly, and she found herself tumbling down toward the earth.


Despite the presence of her safety net--which bounced her jarringly twice before she rolled off it to land less gracefully than usual on her feet--there were several gasps and at least one "Addie!" as she fell.

Thoroughly embarrassed, she immediately started waving off calls of concern, and the few carnival members who had started toward her. "Alright, I'm alright, I promise," she mumbled even as she wove around them. "Just a stupid mistake, I'm fine, sorry everyone... Snake."

The contortionist hadn't been one of their family who instantly started toward her, holding his place, but she felt the way his eyes flickered over her with concern with a strangely comforting familiarity. "You sure you're alright?" he murmured. "That looked like it bruised."

She waved him away with a smile, her own eyes searching the weaponry he still held. "It's fine, really."

Damnit. She swore she'd Seen something. Where was it? What was it?

He'd noticed the ruckus as the entourage had settled in, but as he'd found out earlier,  Thomas Redington could not be heard nor seen. It had been traumatizing, to try to look call out to someone,  try to get their attention,  only for them to completely ignore him- and walk straight through his body.

The very action still made him shiver, for after many attempts to garner the attention of another, he began to depressingly accept his fate.  That he must have died and now...

He was a ghost.

He was still learning whatever strange laws bound him, apparently he had limited space he could roam, and daylight made him very sleepy.

But as he realized he has limitations on where he could go, he also realized some strange force seemed to be guiding him.. Whether it was faith or something else entirely, he wasn't sure.  But even as a ghost, he still prayed to Ansgar.

It was this strange pull that kept him mostly awake,  as the young man turned ghost remained perched beside a nearby stone wall. It was crumbling with age, and offered Thomas some shade from the sun, as a large, old apple tree sat just behind the wall.

From here, he had a good view of things, becoming mesmerized by the carnival's family jibbering, and by the unique display a young woman began to perform on a make shift tight rope.

When she began to fall, he lurched forward,  as if to try and catch her, but stumbled to a hault just outside the trees shade. He wasn't close enough to help her,  even if he hadn't been a ghost, and found himself stepping back into the comfort if the shade of the tree as he watched worriedly, anxiously waiting to ensure the young lady was okay.

It seemed she was alright, and the ghostly young man moved to lean back against the stone wall, quietly watching and not much else.

"Maybe you should take a break," Snake was saying, and—without claiming that something he held had triggered her Sight, which seemed ever more foolish the longer she thought about it—there really wasn't much she could say to argue with that.

"Fine," she agreed with a sigh. "I'll call it a day for the rope."

"Go sit for a moment, lassie, gods' sakes," Reth barked as he strode passed her. "That was quite a tumble, even with the net."

Adelaide rolled her eyes, but she smiled at him and Snake both before admitting, "Maybe I should sit for a minute. I'll help Carlotta with the tents once I've had some water."

Snake nodded and she turned to slip through the familiar dance of bodies to gather up her water skin from where she'd left it at the base of one of the poles, then further still, away from the bustle a bit so she had a moment to think.

She sipped at her water, turning over what had happened in her mind. Maybe it really was just sunlight off metal. She didn't think so, but it was possible...

"Oh!" She drew up short, suddenly finding herself nearly tripping over a young man she didn't know resting shaded beneath a tree. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even see you there!" she stammered, blushing already.

Blue eyes trailed the girl as she approached, giving her a crooked grin as he bashfully sat up a little straighter. He opened his mouth to say something,  to compliment her on her performance,  only to inwardly chide himself as he remembered his plight.

No one could see him.

But then she was getting suddenly closer, and distracted as he was, he decided he ought to move- but too late, as the young lady performer all but tripped over him and.. was apologizing. 

The young man blinked, taken a back as he looked around him to see who else was around. He saw no one, frowned,  and tilted his head as he observed the girl.

Naw.. there was no way..

Except.. could there be? She was unmistakably looking at him, and a sense of hope carried him to his feet.

"You.. you can see me?" He asked,  eyes very large. 

"I--yes?" Adelaide laughed, a little nervously, and cocked her head at him. "You're not doing a particularly good job of hiding yourself..."

She trailed off, her eyes slowly growing wide. Because as she continued to look at him, he seemed...less there. Blurred around the edges, almost transparent in places.

Oh no.

She glanced up, fixing her gaze on a point just over his left shoulder, and... Yep. There. Out of the corner of her eye, there he was, much more solid than when she looked directly at him. With her Sight, that only meant one thing.

Ghost.

Except...well, except she'd never talked to one before! She could See spirits every once in a while, sure, but they were flickers, faint after-images. Mira said that was normal, that without proper summonings or rituals for the Seer, most benign spirits were too intangible to be seen for longer than a moment.

So did that mean...he wasn't benign?

But he was just a boy! A boy around her age, it seemed. She found herself caught between two impulses: to back away, or to linger. She hovered between the two, shifting from foot to foot. A sudden breeze cut over the low stone wall and she shivered--her rehearsal wear was not exactly up to Connlaothian standards, loose breeches cuffed high on the ankle, and a simple tunic barely cinched at the waist which bared most of her arms. She wasn't even wearing proper shoes, just bandaging wrapped around her feet. Ideal for flinging herself from the trapeze or dangling from ribbons, less so for the sudden wind on an otherwise cloudless day.

"How--" She licked her lips, then gestured helplessly at the spirit. "How long have you...?"

His expression was a mixture of both worry and relief, while his face was quickly blossoming into the biggest of smiles.

"You.. you can see me! And hear me as well?"
He laughed so joyously at that.  But then when he saw her uncertainty, he put his hands out placatingly. 

But also noting her lack of normal attire as she shivered, he politely dropped his gaze so as not to stare. Still, he moved with anxious elation,  his smile unable to be erased from his lips.
"I.. I don't know, to be honest. I haven't kept track of the time. A few weeks? Months?"

Could the dead understand time? Did he have to even worry? He licked his lips before finally raising sheepish eyes upon her, his smile so genuine, so bright and pure.

"You have no idea how relieved I am. I thought I'd wander this path alone. And I've been so confused with so many questions that I.."

He stopped suddenly and made a face, and his sheepish expression returned,  and he raised his hands,  apologetically.
"I'm sorry.. I just got so excited. Forgive me for my presumptions, " he bowed apologetically.

"I.. I hope I have not scared nor offended thee."

"Oh..."

Adelaide bit her lip. She was still white-knuckling her water skin, but she didn't seem quite so wary of him now. Unless he was quite good at play acting—and she tended to be sharp-eyed when it came to that sort of thing—he was genuinely relieved to be seen.

That didn't strike her as something a malicious spirit would be.

Then he was apologizing to her, and she found herself giggling despite the bizarre situation. Offended thee? Really?

"I'm not offended," she assured with a small smile. She hesitated a moment longer, then slowly lowered herself to sit beside him, folding her legs into a butterfly and leaning forward over them. "If—if you don't mind me asking...what are you doing here?"

Because truthfully, she was fascinated. A ghost. A ghost who was speaking to her. She'd never thought she'd see the like.

The ghosts eyes were so large and bright when she dared to come closer, and sit beside him! It was a relief he hadn't scared her off, and he wore his heart too well on his sleeve. 

He'd make a terrible poker player.

"In truth, I don't know. I'm just.. here, rather.. although I can't recall how or why. All I can recollect was that I was on my way to my class... and now I'm... I'm..."

Oh the poor thing.

Addie found her chest growing tight as he spoke, and without thinking she started to reach out as she might have with any of the carnival members, as though to touch his hand or give his shoulder a comforting pat.

She snatched her hand back a moment later, blushing at the slip both because it felt overly familiar, and because, well...

He didn't seem entirely solid.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "That...must have been a shock."

She tilted her head at him, a few chunks of hair that had come loose from her braid when she fell swinging forward around her face. "What's your name? I'm Adelaide."

A shock?
"Oh, it was. I don't even think I could begin to explain the whole of it all."

But he went sheepish when she tried to comfort him, and felt that. He truly did, for he could not touch the same.

But then she gave him her name and his eyes sparkled.
"Adelaide,  that's a beautiful name. " He inclined his head, eyes still to her's.  "My name is Thomas, Thomas Redington."

His smile was absolutely boyish, and dreamlike as he stared at her in awe.

Then he dropped his gaze, bashful.
"I apologize for staring, or.. or for talking too much it's just... this is incredible.  I've been feeling so isolated, so lonely and equally confused.  It seems, for whatever reason as a.. as.  Well.. as being this way has greatly limited where I can be and the locations haven't always been the same. This place is a new one.." he looked around them, as if digesting a large meal.

"But there I go again, " he laughed humbly. "But you... you're.. you're not like.. like me are you?" He frowned. Oh he hoped this sweet girl was not in a spot like he.

Adelaide listened earnestly as he spoke. Poor boy, truly, to have been cut off from—well, from life so abruptly.

She couldn't say she thought about death all that often, but when she did...she supposed she just couldn't imagine it being alone. Since Vis had found her, she'd been constantly surrounded by friends, family.

Imagining that kind of isolation...it didn't sit well with her.

She flushed a little when he apologized for staring, the color in her cheeks making her freckles stand out, but she couldn't exactly fault him. If she'd spent weeks unable to communicate with anyone, she likely would have stared too.

"Oh—no, no I'm not," she answered when he seemed suddenly distraught by the idea she might also be... Well. Laughing a little awkwardly, she added, "I mean, not to my knowledge. Unless that fall was quite a bit worse than I thought and I just haven't noticed."

She winced immediately. "Gods, I'm sorry. Bad joke." She looked down at her lap. "I think, um...I mean, I can...See things, sometimes. But I've never—with, y'know, people like—people who aren't here anymore, it's usually...little flashes. Glimpses. I've never...spoken with someone before."

Thomas visibly paled. 
"Are you hurt? I'm sorry I hasn't asked sooner. I saw you tumble but then you talked to your friends and i presumed you were alright and I just-"

So many words abruptly ended as he released the rest of his words out as a sigh, instead. 
But he smiled,  wearily. 

"A joke.." 

And he chuckled softly to himself. 
"That too feels like it's been ages. I... wasn't even sure if I could laugh like this." The very explanation making him laugh again. 

"Oh no, no, I'm not hurt!" She waved her hands a little helplessly, then spread her arms wide as though to prove it. She winced again. "Yeah. Bad joke..."

She was glad when he didn't seem too deterred by her attempt at humor—he was even laughing again, and the sound made her smile.

"I'm...glad you can," she offered quietly. "Laugh, I mean. Everyone deserves a laugh, a smile."

She gestured out to the spread of green that was slowly but surely becoming the carnival grounds. "That's why we do this, y'know. To...give people a moment of wonder." She paused, then laughed and shook her head, blushing once more. "Oh dear gods, I sound like my Da."

Thomas smiled warmly.
"I was intrigued when I saw you all show up. So you are a family?" He inquired. 

She smiled again, looking at just that—her family, laughing and singing and teasing one another as they made their newest home.

"Of a sort." She shrugged and tipped her head back against the wall. "Most of us are...afterthoughts, I suppose. Orphans. Runaways. The unwanted, the lost. We...found each other."

She flushed and ducked her head. "That...sounds so silly, I'm sorry. Here I am going on, and you—" She cut herself off and cleared her throat. "Anyway. I've been here most of my life, so, yeah. They're my family."

Thomas thought over it while observing.
"So you're nomads?" He deduced, studying one of the persons pitching up a colorful tent.

She laughed and said again, "Of a sort. What, have you never seen a traveling carnival before?"

It occurred to her, abruptly, that he might not have. Vis, at least, tended to steer clear of Connlaoth—this was actually as deep into the country as they'd come in her memory—and she knew most shows like theirs tended to attract...well. Magic.

Even the showmanship kind tended to put Connlaothians on edge these days.

It was more than obvious when realization set in.

"A carnival?" His features lit up. "No! Never! Oh wow.. truly?"

Adelaide found herself laughing again, but not at him. She was just...tickled.

"Yes, truly." Her eyes lit up and she suddenly sprang to her feet. "Come on! I'll show you around—I should be helping set up anyway, I can give you the tour while I do!"

Thomas smiled and rose with her,  only to hesitate as he recalled his plight.
"Are.. are you sure that's wise?" He looked wantingly at her group.
"Would.. what I am not frighten them?"
Truthfully,  he himself would be startled to interact with a ghost.
"I mean.. what I am.. isn't normal.  I'm not.."

"Oh." She drew her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment. "Well, errr..."

She sighed, then decided it was better to just say what she was thinking. Not even all her family knew of her Sight, but...it didn't make sense to hide it from a person it directly affected. "I sort of assume...I mean, if no one else has seen you in weeks, maybe...I'm the only one who can?" She tugged on her braid nervously and scuffed her feet. "I, um. I See things. Not just—I mean I See things. It's not magic, exactly," she hastened to add, abruptly remembering where they were. "It's more like...an extra awareness."

She tried for a soft smile in his direction. "But if they can see you...well, like I said. We're all misfits here. You'd fit right in." She tilted her head and took one step back, though she kept her eyes on him as she did, one hand half outstretched in invitation.

Her reply was sobering.
"Oh," he tried to digest this idea, visibly wilting. Another reminder of what he'd become.
But when she offered out her hand, a gesture he couldn't complete in kind, he smiled a little and moved as if to take her hand,  but when his gently slipped through her's,  he visibly shivered, and withdrew suddenly, but looked sheepishly away.
"Right... well, I guess it couldn't hurt "

Her face fell a bit when his hand moved through hers, and she tried but couldn't quite manage to completely hide a shiver.

It was...cold. And tingly.

"Come on." She let her eyes pass over the closest group pitching set and then nodded firmly to herself. "Snake first," she decided.

The sword swallower knew about her Sight. Maybe he'd have some idea of what to do next.

With a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure Thomas was with her, Adelaide slipped easily through the ebb and flow of performers, costumers, artists and merchants all shouting and setting up tents to find the contortionist.

He was tall enough that he was easy to spot, having moved on from helping Reth to assisting with the support poles for the carnival's main tent.

"Snake!" she called, waving. He glanced over at her, red-gold eyes flaring as he tipped his head just a bit too far to the side in that way he did when he was confused. Adelaide hovered ar the edge of the ring that was marked out for the tent and beckoned him over, mouthing, I need to talk to you.

She shot another quick smile at Thomas as her friend began moving toward them. "I know he looks grumpy, but he's really a sweetheart, promise."

Even in his state, Thomas hesitated as they approached. Although there was likely nothing to fear, old habits were hard to kill.

He exchanged a look with Adelaide before cautiously stepping forward,  his eyes a wonder to the creative world becoming assembled all around them. 

"I see. Looks can be deceiving, " he agreed, following after, if even a bit cautious. 

"What's the matter, freckles?"

Adelaide blushed for the nickname and glowered at Snake briefly before replying, "Nothing's wrong, just..."

She glanced sidelong at Thomas, then back to Snake. "I, umm... We have a guest?"

Snake glanced where she was, brow furrowed. "Addie, what're you—?"

His eyes widened, sorted pupils briefly going round in surprise. "Oh holy shit," he muttered. "You See someone?"

Addie nodded, relieved he'd gotten it so quickly. "His name is Thomas," she said quickly, then glanced at him again and beckoned. "Here, come stand next to me, so Snake knows where you are," she urged gently.

Thomas hung back some at the exchange, shyly smiling when he was beckoned forth. He obeyed while asking, "Is he able to see me?" His eyes never left Snake. 

"I'm...not sure." She looked to Snake. "Can you...see anything?"

Snake was squinting at the space to her right. "I...maybe? It's like...a heat haze, sort of." He shook his head and looked back to her. "So. We playing host to another faerie? Or is this Thomas of yours something else?"

Adelaide winced. "It's...he's..."

Perhaps her face said more than her words. Or maybe it was just so spectacularly awkward that Nsake saw no other option. He waved a hand and said, "Never mind, not Fae then. If he's...something else, why come to me? Why not find Mira?"

Adelaide's eyes widened, then she rocked back in her heels and hissed quietly, "Fuck, I'm an idiot."

Snake chuckled . "Go on then, freckles. And don't lose your new friend on the way."

Thomas held his breath, eyes uncertain,  but when Adelaide swore, it took him by surprise.  He looked between the pair,  a little uncertain. 
"Who's Mira?"

"Our resident medium," Adelaide responded, blushing once again. "I'm such an idiot, of course I should've brought you to her first. Thanks." She threw her arms around Snake in a quick hug, which he returned by ruffling her hair, then she beckoned once again for Thomas to follow as she flowed back through the crowd and the tents.

"This way! She usually sets up at the edge of the grounds. She'll know what to do, I'm sure—and you can meet the others, and—"

She cut herself off, realizing she was getting overexcited, and cleared her throat. She moved through the crowd of performers easily, unthinkingly—it didn't occur to her that, as they couldn't see him, the rest of the carnival may not be as adept at avoiding Thomas as she was at avoiding them.

There was a lot of hustle and bustle, so many unique things to see, and although invincible and invisible (or rather, immune to physics and touch in general), Thomas still found himself avoiding the hub bub of people as if he were still solid mass. 

At one point, it had him lingering behind, and Thomas was beginning to lose sight of Adelaide when he made his way through a precarious section of equipment to have a pair of men hauling a beam walk clean through him. 

Nothing happened,  of course, but Thomas stood there, paler for it. 

He made haste to Adelaide's side, sighing wearily.
"I'm still not used to that."

It took Adelaide a moment to realize he was lagging. But the time she did, she was only just in time to turn and see Briar walk right through him, holding the back end of a beam.

She saw the way he blanched and winced, but made herself wait for him to reach her so she didn't go running anxiously to check on what most people saw as a patch of hazy air.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "But we're almost there—"

"And just where is it that you are almost, dearest?"

Adelaide yelped and whirled to face the Ringmaster himself, who seemed to have simply appeared from thin air, for all intents and purposes. He did that sometimes, but she'd never get used to it.he was "dressed down" by his standards, in simple enough but finely made shirt and breeches, with only three rings, a set of bangles, and a pair of silver droplets in his ears. But Vis was an eye catching sort of personage no matter what he wore.


"Da!" she exclaimed, simply staring at him as her mind tried to catch up with the moment. "We—I was—"

"And just who is this?" The demidemon flicked his eyes over Thomas—over him, lingering on his face. Seeing him. He smiled crookedly, showing a flash of curved, sharp fangs. "Should I be worried, Addie my dear?"

When Vis's eyes actually caught sight of him, Thomas froze.  There was something unnatural about the man that even made the mostly dead sort to hesitate.  He was almost too afraid to cast his eyes away, but was quick to remember his manners. 

"I am Thomas Redington, sir," he stated with a respectful bow. "And I apologize if my presence has caused an alarm. I was merely curious about the carnival and that.." he blushed,  sheepishly. "That Adelaide could see and hear me." But then he paused to realize...

"That is to say," he added with haste. "I apologize if I've presumed the same of you. It's just that you seemed to have seen me and ..."
Oh boy, he needed to stop his nervous rambling. 

He looked over at Adelaide,  for help.

Viserian tipped his head back and laughed, loud and carefree. Addie ducked her head, blushing furiously as several of the nearby Cirque members glanced their way.

"Da," she complained, but he just waved her off.

"Yes, I can see you, Thomas Redngton." He dipped his head politely, like a king acknowledging a lesser lord of some sort. "I'd offer to shake your hand, but I doubt that sort of thing goes well for you these days, hm?"

"Da!" Addie protested, wide-eyed. That seemed insensitive to her!

"Oh, pish, it's not as though he doesn't know he's been...shall we say, spirited," he father responded blandly. "I assume the two of you were wanting to see Mira about the whole situation?"

Thomas sighed with relief, and turned to Adelaide before nodding. 
"Yes... I've only most recently became.. well.. this, " he went on, gesturing at his form. "Adelaide has offered to show me around I... I have never seen a carnival before. And well,  maybe this Mira can see and hear me as well?"

"Oh, I'm sure she could." Viserian gave him a suddenly soft, apologetic sort of look. "Unfortunately, our dear Ifamira is unavailable at the moment."

Addie started. "What? She is? What happened?"

The Ringmaster held up a hand to quell her sudden nervousness. "She's quite well, my dearest, I assure you. She merely had a...personal matter to attend to. She left early this morning, before we began pitching set on the grounds. She's not due back for another week, at least."

Adelaide visibly deflated. Sighing, she glanced to Thomas and murmured, "I'm sorry, I didn't--I really thought she might have some answers..."

Viserian stepped forward and shucked her gently under the chin, forcing her to lift her head. "She still might," he said with a quick smile in Thomas's direction. "You will just have to be patient, little whisp."

She nodded, still looking a little dejected. She felt as though she'd raised their new acquaintance's hopes for nothing.

"In the meantime!" Viserian stepped back and clapped his hands briskly, giving them both a bright, fang-tipped grin. "You said my daughter had promised you a tour, yes, Ser Redington? There is still much to see in our modest little show, you know."

Thomas was crestfallen; his blue eyes large and sad. But of course. It did not mean he would never get answers, just he would have to continue to wait.  He'd be lieing if he didn't admit he was anxious. But he waited this long...
And he was happy he could atleast communicate with someone. 

"Thank you. You are both too kind. I'm just relieved I'm no longer by myself. Truthfully,  I wasn't sure what to even do with myself after I became this way. But.. " His smile returned. "A tour of the circus sounds wonderful. "

"Oh, I've been accused of being many things, lad, but too kind is rarely one of them," Viserian laughed. He gestured back over their shoulders and urged, "Go on then, go explore. Adelaide here has chores she should be getting on with anyway, she can show you about while she does."

Addie dipped her head. "Of course, Da."

"Chin up, little whisp." Her father leaned down to kiss the top of her head as he strode between girl and ghost. "I'll let you know the moment Mira is back, I promise. And good luck to you, Ser Redington. Be seeing you." He winked, and reached out to pat Thomas's shoulder as he passed.

And for just the barest fraction of a breath, his hand connected.

He didn't even seem to notice, already sweeping away into the bustle and chattering of the crowd.

Adelaide, who'd been blocked from view, gave Thomas her best go at a normal smile and nodded back toward the throng of tents. "Shall we?"

He must have been too distracted to notice the subtle, tangible touch. But nodded as Adelaide motioned for him to follow.

"So is that your father?" He asked,  peering back towards the ring master's disappearing form.

"Oh, yeah." She blushed a bit and crinkled her nose around a smile. "I know, I know. Ringmaster's daughter and all that, most folks assume I always know what he's planning, but..." She shrugged and spread her hands wide. "Vis has a way of surprising us, every time we set up show in a new place. There's always something new for him."

Thomas nodded thoughtfully. 
He studied her a moment before asking, "How often do you travel? And how often do you perform?"

"Oh, depends." She waved a hand airily as she started weaving her way back through the paths that were slowly becoming more defined through the tents. "If we've got audiences, we stay as long as people keep coming. Then, when the flash wears off--it always does--we move on."

She hopped up onto a rock that had been too big to clear from the stretch of green between the big top slowly coming up and a few of the merchants' tents spread in an arc behind it. "I perform most nights, or sometimes I'll go out into town with some of the others and do a few tricks to get people interested in the show."

She spun on her toes to face the back of the fairgrounds, peering into the middle distance before nodding to herself and looking down at Thomas with a smile. "I should help the musicians get their rehearsal space set up...if we have time, I could...show you?" Her blush was back as she offered hesitantly, "My set, I mean."

His eyes were wide with wonder as he took on the colorful carnival assembling before their very eyes. There's a few times he had to dodge a few workers and props,  more because he wanted to and habit than necessity.

Then she captured his full attention at the last offer as she hopped onto a tall rock with a dancer's grace. 

"I'd love to see you perform," he said, blushing as he peeree up at her. "What I saw out in the field was remarkable. But is it not dangerous? To be doing all those flips and things on the rope?"

"Well, that's what the net is for," Adelaide laughed brightly, leaping down from the rock and landing lightly in a dancer's pose before straightening herself out and starting off toward the musicians' tents. "I mean, there are performers who don't use one, and for my easier sets Da usually lets me go up without one, but for the more complicated bits—"

She cut herself off as the first part of what he said registered and glanced over at him with a flush. "Ah, I mean... Thank you. I'm—I'm glad you liked what you saw before, in the field. That was...mostly a new idea I've been working on..."

Thomas was captivated.
"Truly? Do you normally create your own routine? These dances on ropes?"

"Oh, well..." Still blushing, she couldn't quite keep a smile from her face. "Actually...I'm not usually on the rope. I—I'm an acrobat, really. Trapeze."

As they crossed from the "front" of the fairgrounds to the part of the green that the Fantasma members had cordoned off for rehearsal and living spaces, she added, "I can't really do that until we have the big top up, though. I could show you some ground work routines I have, if you like."

She paused, catching sight of exactly who she'd been looking for and raised her hand to catch their attention. "Elea and Myst, over there—they help me work things out to music. They're so talented, you'll have a treat listening to them! C'mon, I just have to help them fix up the tents back here."

Thomas couldn't erase his smile if he tried.
"I'd love to see. I've only ever heard of trapeze routines.. are they difficult?" He inquired, following close to her like a lost little puppy.
And then his eyes were dancing at the promise of music.
"That sounds amazing. Although, you're doing so much for me and I can offer very little help in return. "
It was another down side to being.. well.. a ghost.

"I just wish I could be of some help," he admitted.

"Oh, an audience is always helpful," Addie laughed. Lowering her voice, she added, "Even if I'm the only one who knows you're there, for the moment."

"Adelaide!" Elea called out once they were in earshot, drawing the girl's attention. "Come to help us now that we've nearly finished?" the singer teased lightly.

Addie blushed and mumbled apologies, but Elea just waved her off with a laugh. "Oh, I'm teasing, lass. Come, help me set up the cook tent and we can find my useless husband to see about your set—that is why you're here, mm?"

"Ah, sort of," Adelaide mumbled as she set about helping Elea arrange the cookware within easy reach for any who might need it.

"Useless, am I?" Myst suddenly appeared from around the corner of the tent, mock scowling at his wife. Elea beamed at him and crooked her finger.

"Well, useful for some things. Just not cooking," she quipped, then laughed as he caught her around the waist and kissed her.

Adelaide looked away, smiling but blushing. She glanced around for Thomas, whispering, "Sorry about them."

Thomas's cheeks were also pink.
"I think they're sweet. Being in love is a wonderful thing." He turned to Adelaide. 
"Do you have someone you love here at the carnival?"

"Oh, gods no." She laughed quietly, her blush deepening a few shades. "I mean, not like that, anyway."

It wasn't an unreasonable question she supposed, but his genuine, earnest tone amplified her fluster.

"D-do you?" she asked reflexively, then blushed all the harder. "Oh, I mean...did you? That—I'm sorry, never mind. Forget I asked..."

Thomas blushed further at her reaction.
"Oh, I... hadn't meant to put you on the spot. "
And he didn't realize how she felt until well.. the question was directed back at him.

He put up his hands to let her know there was no offense, and smiled through more blushed as he replied. "No, I had no lover before.. well, all this " he grew sheepish but tried to shrug it off.
"I Suppose somethings are just not meant to be."

Adelaide simply stared at him for a moment, eyebrows tipped up in concern. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "That...doesn't seem fair."

To have died so young, and simple accept that love was never meant to be a part of your life? It made her heart ache.

She might have said something else, but then Elea was turning to her and calling for her help, asking her to come finish arranging the cookware while Myst adjusted the internal supports of the tent. Smiling at his wife's back as she bustled about, the fae musician moved to reinforce the pole not too far from where Thomas was standing. Seeming to simply be speaking aloud, he noted, "I don't See things near as clearly as our Addie does, but--correct me if I'm wrong, lass--you didn't come to see us on your own, did you?"

"Oh!" Addie froze, staring first at him, then at Thomas. She'd had no idea Myst might be able to sense a spirit's presence. "Er..."

"Don't look so glum, Adelaide. I'm atleast enjoying this part of my life."

If one could call becoming a spirit, life.

But attentions soon turned and Adelaide needed to get back to work.  But at her and Myst's exchange...

Thomas's brows dipped. Should he be concerned? 

"What is it, Adelaide?"

"I-I, um..." Addie glanced back and forth between the two of them, wide-eyed. Then, to Myst, she all but whispered, "Can you...see him?"

"See?" Myst shook his head. "No. Can't hear him either, if he's saying anything. It's just a sort of...tickle. Something that makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck."

Elea looked thoroughly confused as her eyes flicked from her husband to the young acrobat and back. "Addie, dear, you've brought a...friend?"

"Ah...sort of." Adelaide shuffled her feet and shot Thomas an apologetic look. "We've, um...we've just met. I thought I'd...show him around. Maybe, umm...maybe, when we've got things settled, I thought he'd might like to..." She waved a hand vaguely between herself and the musicians.

Luckily, Elea and Myst seemed to understand what she meant. "Ah! A private performance. Well, we could certainly use the rehearsal--and a bit of fun, after all these chores," Elea replied cheerily, seemingly entirely unbothered that Addie's "guest" was both invisible and inaudible to her.

Thomas was more than grateful the way things panned out.  He was worried for Adelaide there a moment and studied their surroundings before looking back towards Adelaide, Myst and his wife.

"Your family here is really quite accommodating.  It's always too much after being alone like this for so long. " He shook his head.  It was best not to dwell on that. No, he ought to enjoy the moment for what it was and nodded when a performance just for him was mentioned.

"I'd hate to be an inconvenience, but it seems you're all more than willing to oblige." He smiled. "I'm excited to see."

Adelaide translated what he said, someone stilted and asked, but clearly trying to help Thomas feel connected to the conversation.

Elea and Myst continued to joke and tease as Addie helped them finish setting up the cool tent, often asking her to inform them of what her "guest" was saying or doing. Neither asked what exactly Thomas was, simply accepted that he was there.

Eventually, when the sun was reaching its noon zenith, their chores were done, and Elea exclaimed, "Now then! There was talk of a private performance?"

"Oh, well." Addie looked to Thomas, once more blushing a bit. "If...you're still interested?"

Thomas had been quiet during the last hour of their work, and once he was brought back into the fold he looked.. different.  Almost tired, and fading.

"That.. sounds lovely  ."

He sounded somehow.. distant. Sleepy.

"Thomas?"

Adelaide abruptly put down the last pot she'd been wrangling onto a shelf and moved toward him.

"Are you alright?" she started to reach out to him automatically, before remembering and snatching her hand back to her chest.

Thomas looked at her strangely. 
"What do you mean? I'm a .. a ghost Adelaide. I'm not sure I can be anything else."

But through the haze he furrowed his brow, realizing her concern.
"Is.. something the matter with me?"

Was it possible for there to be?
He was dead.. wasn't he? And his state... 

Wasn't it set in stone?

"Thomas?" Adelaide's voice began to tiptoe toward nervous, though she kept her smile in place even as her brow furrowed. He was getting harder to hear, to see, even when she used her trick of looking at him sidelong. "I--I'm not sure what's happening, it's like you're...fading..."

"Addie." Elea appeared behind her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. Her eyes were sad, but kind. "Can you still see him?"

"Yes," she said quickly, looking back to the shimmering outline. "Yes, but it...he..."

"Sweetheart." Elea squeezed her shoulder gently. "Maybe it's...his time. Maybe he's ready to go."

The tents were beginning to blossom; tall, colorful and grand. It was a vision in itself and despite being dead, Thomas enjoyed the view and interworking festivities. To remain out of the way, he stood by the back flap, which was left open,  and sun light cast down upon him, and only as the subtle winds blew, making shadows dance, was he now visible. 

It truly did seem like the young ghost was simply 'moving on'.

However, for Thomas, things were different, the world didn't fade, but life did. And he felt remarkably tired and sluggish, as if lying beneath still waters.

Even sound had faded to nothing,  and just simple listless shadows encased his world. 

"Thomas?" Addie moved toward the flickering figure, though Elea kept a hand on her shoulder. "Thomas, can you hear me?"

Maybe Elea was right. Maybe he was...ready to move on. But for some reason, despite the brief time she'd known him, Adelaide felt her chest go uncomfortably tight at the thought.

It wouldn't be until closer to that evening that the familiar sights if the carnival would return to him. Clouds were rolling in, the sounds of thunder distant,  but promising- but by no means masked the music that drew Thomas forward. 

He wasn't sure what has happened, but it seemed he had returned to the area of the carnival. And then he remembered..
"Adelaide.."

And began to move through the colorful arrangement of tents, peeking in here or there, seeking the young woman out.

Adelaide was in one of the smaller practice areas with Elea and Myst by the time the storm began threatening to roll in.

It had taken nearly an hour for her to begin to accept the idea that Thomas may have simply...moved on. She knew, logically, it was likely the best thing for a wandering spirit.

"Maybe he just...needed a friend," Elea had offered kindly. "Maybe he was lonely. And he's not anymore, so..."

It still hurt. More than it should, for how brief a time she'd known him.

Myst had been the one to suggest rehearsal as a distraction. And so she found herself tumbling across the grass as Myst and Elea played a lively, rolling tune. She was so wrapped up in her work, twisting and leaping and spinning across the ground, that she at first didn't hear the startlingly familiar voice calling her name.

Thomas thought he heard something in one of the nearby tents, and moved to step inside, just as Adelaide's form tumbled through his. It felt,  strange, and stunned him a moment.  Did he just.. feel something?

"Oh!"

An abrupt chill, a tingle that started at the top of her head and raced down her spine. The triple handstand flip she'd been working through turned to a double and a staggered roll as she found herself trying to whirl in midair.

"What in—?!"

She stared, mouth hanging open.

"...Thomas?"

It took him a moment to come to his senses, but he was all smiles as he noticed her stagger to recover.
"I hope I didn't startle you too badly."

"Thomas!"

She moved forward as though to hug him, then caught herself and dropped her arms awkwardly, flushing. "You—what—?"

"He's back then?" Myst called from where he was sitting beside his wife, flute resting in his lap as Elea stared, wide-eyed.

Thomas blushed on her behalf.
"Sorry," came his clumsy reply. "Being this way has a lot of restrictions. " 
And at the other's comment, he looked at Adelaide curiously. 
"I'm sorry for all this. I..didn't realize I could disappear. I hope you weren't too worried. "

"O-oh, well, I..."

"He really is back, isn't he?" Elea suddenly frowned and marched over to stand beside Adelaide, glowering at the patch of air that the young acrobat seemed to be addressing. "You've got a lot of nerve, young man, coming back after giving her a fright like that!"

"Elea!" Addie protested, her cheeks now positively scarlet. Myst hung back with a slight smirk on his face, evidently more than content to watch his wife scold an invisible personage.

Thomas shrunk back as Elea approached, scolding him. He put up his arms, as if in surrender. 
"She's right. I'm sorry,  Adelaide.  If I'd had realized I would have told you." He frowned, studying her.  "Are... you okay?"

"Fine, I'm fine!" Addie waved her hands quickly, trying to reassure both him and Elea. "I just, um...I was, sort of...worried about you..."

Elea opened her mouth, apparently ready to lay into him again, when Myst cleared his throat and noted mildly, "My love, perhaps Adelaide is quite old enough to defend herself?"

"Oh." Elea deflated slightly and gave Adelaide a chagrined look. "Yes, I suppose you are, aren't you? Well." She glared in Thomas's general direction briefly once more. "Don't do it again." Then she turned and flounced back to Myst, who seemed entirely too amused by the whole situation.

Addie, for her part, was blushing positively crimson, but she gave him a small smile. "I—I thought you might be...you know. Gone. Like, gone, gone."

Thomas continued to shrink back some at the scolding,but he couldn't help but smile a little for it.

"I truly am sorry, Adelaide, " he reassured her, stepping closer but hesitantly. It wasn't like he could offer her a hug. Even still...

"I've never run into another person who could see me before. So I hadn't... well, I didn't realize that when things got.. strange for me, almost like a black out.. that.. well, that was the result of it. " He pauses to study her, sympathetically. "So did I really simply.. disaspear?"

Addie bit her lip and nodded slowly. "Yeah," she murmured. "You sort of...faded away. It was easier to see you in the shade, for a while, but then..."

She spread her hands out in front of her and shrugged helplessly. "I sort of thought—I mean, we assumed you might have...moved on?" She cocked her head at him, studying him with a combination of curiosity and concern. "Where did you go? You said it was like a blackout?"

Thomas frowned. 
"Truthfully, I don't know. It's almost like I'm sleeping... but I'm not.  Things are dark... unformed... murky, like really deep waters. Even feels the same, except the part of being wet."

He smiled, laughing at himself.

"That sounds ridiculous , doesn't it?" 

He shook his head.

"It was dark.. empty feeling, but felt almost... smothered.. except I guess I can't breath."

He shook his head again and furrowed his brows in thought, staring at the ground. Then he looked at her.

"It's possible my spirit was trying to leave this world but.." he frowned. "This isn't the first time thus has happened."

Addie's eyebrows tipped up in concern as he spoke. "That sounds...uncomfortable," she murmured sympathetically.

When he said it wasn't the first time it had happened, she frowned and muttered a mild curse under her breath. "Gods, I wish Mira was here," she murmured, running a hand back through her hair--mostly loose from its customary braid now--and tipping her head up towards the ceiling. "She'd have some answers. Or at least some ideas."

Looking to Thomas again, she added with a small, crooked smile, "Would you mind, um...warning me, if you feel that happening again? It--I was rather...worried for you." Blushing, she dropped her eyes and admitted in a mumble, "I...missed you."

He knew they couldn't touch, but he reached out a hand to rest comfortingly upon her shoulder.  It almost felt real. 

Almost.

"I'm sorry, Adelaide.  It wasn't my intention to make you worry.  This is all knew to me. But I'll try my best to warn you if things change again.  Truthfully,  I'm not sure what triggers it. But I shall be more attentive."

"Oh--no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean--" She winced and twisted her hands together in front of her body. "You don't have to apologize, I know you're not doing it on purpose. Just, y'know...maybe if you tell me when things start to feel off, I can help you figure out what's causing it?"

She offered an almost sheepish smile, glancing at his hand on her shoulder. Well. Sort of on her shoulder; it was odd, like she could feel the intent behind the touch, even though she couldn't feel the touch itself.

Thomas moved so he was before her, slightly bent so their eyes' could meet.

"Don't worry, Adelaide. I will do my best. This is all still so very new to me. Makes me wonder how long I've been this way."

Years? Weeks? Months? Days?

"But you're my friend, and I'm so lucky to have you."

Her blush warmed a few degrees, but she smiled at him. "I--I'm glad." Then she heard herself and amended quickly, "I mean, not glad that you're--you know, glad that I met you, I mean, I--oh, hells."

She gave an awkward laugh and buried her face in her hands. "I've really just put my foot in it, haven't I?"

"Come now,  don't worry yourself sick on it. Besides, " he moved to sit down lower, incase she wanted to look at him through her hands where her face was still buried. 
"I feel the same. And there's nothing to be done on my situation so you mustn't try to blame yourself. So.. no putting your foot in your mouth," he teased.

She smiled at him through her fingers before slowly lowering her hands back to her sides. "Well, thanks. And—" She but her lip, then said quickly, "I really am glad I met you today, Thomas."

"Not that this isn't adorable," Myst drawled from where he still sat beside Elea across the rehearsal space. Addie started, spinning to face them. "But don't you two have a tour yet to finish?"

Thomas blushed and Whispered closer to her ear,  "I'm sorry if I'm embarrassing you. I forgot there was an audience. "

She smiled at him, the barest flash of a dimple appearing in her left cheek. "...So did I."

Glancing back at Myst, she made a face at him briefly before saying to Thomas, "He's right though—now that we're pretty much don pitching set, I could show you around the fairgrounds properly?"

"Well, I suppose if it isn't too much trouble.." he smiled and bowed his head.
"I'd be delighted. "

Glancing around,  he felt the need to comment, "It seems like you all got much done in my absence. "

"Oh, well, we've had plenty of practice," Addie laughed. "We're never in one place longer than a few months, so we know how to take things down and put them up again right quick."

"He asking about the grounds?" Elea called, and Addie nodded in her direction. Elea gave them a little wave toward the door in response. "Well, go out and see them! We won't be entertaining visitors for another day or so, you'll have the whole place to yourselves."

"It's impressive! How many people help with all this?"

But at Elea's words, he blushed a little. 

"I can't help but feel strange they can't see me. They're being so accommodating and I can't even thank them in return. Or even you for that matter. I know we can talk but... I feel so useless and wish I could help."

Adelaide gave him a soft smile as she moved toward the entrance to the rehearsal area. "You're a guest," she assured him quietly. "You don't have to help. This is what we do--this is our livelihood, our lives."

She shrugged, giving Elea and Myst a quick wave and calling, "He says thank you!"

She shot Thomas another look as she led him back out onto the fairgrounds proper. "See? I can thank them for you."

Thomas blushed, his smile widening.
"Thank you, for that. You're more than accommodating to me and understanding of my plight. I consider myself fortunate to have found you."

"Oh, well." She flushed and tried to wave the compliment away. "I wouldn't say that, just...well. Ahem." She gave him a small smile, a little lost for words.

"Do you, um...do you want to see the animals?"

Thomas's smile broadened.
"Nonsense. Don't sell yourself sure, Adelaide. And I've love to see the animals. What kind do you keep?"

"Well, mostly the dogs," Addie chirped as she led him through the back end of the grounds. "Um, just to warn you, they're...a special breed. Bigger than most people are used to. But they're very friendly!"

Well. Friendly to the Fantasma members, anyway.

"Ah, do you help train them?" he inquired, following after her with interest. "And are they anything like the Connlaothian tracker? Those are truly animals of magnificent size."

Addie couldn't help smiling at that. Oh, he had no idea.

"They're...well, you'll see." They we're coming up on what Vis jokingly called the "kennel", a set of wagons that were used to transport tents when they were on the move, but served to shelter the troupe's riding dogs when they set up grounds.


Half the pack was lolling about in the slowly dimming light, absolutely massive canines—the smallest was easily the size of a pony—with thick, shiny coats and paws made for travel. A few sets of ears perked up at their approach, and one of the hounds—a female Addie called Patch for the splash of sandy brown fur around her eye—gave a soft woof of greeting.

Well. Relatively soft.

Thomas followed quietly- for then, he was a ghost and he could do little else. It wasn't like he himself, nor his footfalls, could make an impression. But as the scene bloomed into view, Thomas's eyes widened, jaw opening as he took in the great awakening beasts. He couldn't even speak, so mesmerized with a smile at them that he simply just stood there, staring in awe.

Addie laughed when she glanced to her side and caught his expression, her eyes sparkling. "Told you they were big," she giggled. "C'mon. Animals are sometimes more...sensitive to things than human-type folk. I think you'll like them."

She gave a low whistle, and Patch heaved herself up onto her massive paws and came trotting over, plumed tail waving like a banner behind her. She gave another quiet woof and shoved her nose into Addie's outstretched palm. When she found no waiting treats, she gave a plaintive huff and plopped herself down in front of the two of them, whining pitifully.

"Oh yes, you're quite pathetic," Addie laughed, reaching up to scratch her ears. "I swear, you'll make our guest think we never feed you." Patch's tail thumped against the earth. Then she cocked her head, sniffing, and swung her snout in Thomas's direction. She gave another low huff, this one somehow questioning, and stretched her neck forward to sniff enthusiastically at the air around his face.

"They are beautiful," Thomas exhaled, staring all starry eyed at the beast as she approached. He reached a hand out, as if to touch, but slowly recoiled, sheepishly smiling at the reaction. But then Patch turned in his direction to give a few sniffs and a noise and Thomas's brows crawled up his brow.

"Wow it's..." Thomas breathed, slowly reaching his hand out again. "It's almost as if she can sense me."

Patch woofed again and, tongue lolling, shoved her whole nose right through his chest.

"Patch!" Addie tried to drag her back, but she needn't have worried; the massive dog jerked back on her own, sneezing five times in quick succession.

"Oh my goodness." Addie looked back and forth between Thomas and the dog. "Are—are you alright?"

If Thomas could go paler, he would have.  It felt strange to have the dog run its snout through his form,  and he held his incorporeal breath. But Adelaide's voice broke him of his shock.

"Yes.. I'm fine, " he breathed, smiling quizzically.  "I .. it was just.. strange is all. I.. normally avoid.. having living beings pass through me. It.. doesn't settle right. "

Adelaide winced sympathetically. "I'm sorry," she murmured, even as Patch shoved her nose forward to sniff at him again and she had to grab the animal around the neck. "Oof! Gods, Patch, leave 'im!"

The dog whined and flopped down onto her belly, nosing at the outline of Thomas's feet. She still seemed curious more than anything else, despite her accidental spectral experience.

Thomas smiled at the scene.
"I apologize,  I would offer comfort pets upon her, but I am unfortunately without the means. "

Adelaide smiled at him. "I think she gets the idea."

Clearly done examining this strange new presence, Patch got back to her feet, huffed at them both, and then trotted off to join the rest of the pack. Adelaide have her a quick pat as she went, giving Thomas a considering look.

"Do you ride? Or—did you?" She winced. "I mean, they're not quite like horses, the gait is a little different, but..."

Thomas gave a small smile.
"Very little. I hadn't come from immense means. But we had a horse and small stable. I'd ride from time to time, were it bid to me. I often times needed to remain at home. But I did so enjoy a good ride.." he reached out as if to pet Patches and just shyly pet the air above her.
"I suppose you've had lots of experience with Patch?"

"Oh, not all that much actually—mostly the dogs help us pull the wagons, but we do ride them sometimes." She hesitated, then moved a little closer to him to place her hand just under his on Patch's fur, following the motion of his petting.

She glanced up at him, realized how close she was, and suddenly stepped back. Oops. Was that awkward?

"Well. Ahem. Ah, shall we see the rest of the grounds?"

When she'd turned to him, she'd see a grateful smile on his lips.And although their eye contact was brief, he felt himself blush. How strange. Could ghosts blush?

At her words, however, he nodded.
"Yes, I'd love to see more. "

Adelaide beamed and took a step back, beckoning for him to follow her.

"Come then! I still have so much to show you."

---

The new few days passed in much the same way; Adelaide brought Thomas around the fair grounds, explaining different acts and goods that their troupe had on display, and always conscious of who among their hodgepodge band of entertainers and misfits seemed to sense his presence.

Most of the humans seemed not to notice much; a few of those gifted with magic said they caught a feeling, though they were hard pressed to specify. Mira, sadly, still had not returned from her "personal errand", and so they had no one to go to for explanations save Vis—who was as cryptic as ever.

"I just don't understand why you can't tell me more," Adelaide huffed at her father as he stood behind her at the mirror, twisting her hair into an elaborate crown of braids. She had left Thomas near the musicians' quarter when he began to "fade" around noon, though that had been over an hour ago—Vis had nabbed her and insisted she needed to "prepare" for the night out that several of the younger carnival members had planned for her. "You don't even know when she'll be back?"

"As I've told you a dozen times now, I do not," the demidemon replied cheerfully. "She will return when it is her time. Any day now, I suspect."

Adelaide rolled her eyes. "Daaaaa."

"Oh, stop your worrying. All things happen in their time. There!" He finished pinning the last braid in place and tucked an ornate, decorative comb at the crown of her skull.

Adelaide gave her reflection a once-over, biting her lip. She was dressed in a light, flowing dress in blushing shades of pink, tailored to Connlaothian style. Her hair had been braided with some pale gold ribbon from the costume department, so the "crown" of braids looked almost like a real crown. "Is this all really necessary? It's not really a big deal—"

"Tush!" Vis tapped her head with the handle of the hairbrush. "It is your eighteenth birthday! That is a very big deal!"

He bad begun to fade back, the earth and its life rising into view, like the rising of the sun. He was beginning to get used to it, little by little, and as he felt he was fully realized back to his ghostly form, he recalled all that occurred since he became this way and made his way back to Adelaide.

It didn't take him long to find her, stepping onto view, a ghostly apparition, appearing not quite in a mirror, but as a sensation he was in the room. 

"Oh, Adelaide! There you are. I was beginning to wonder-" but then he paused midstride at the sight of her, jaw slack and breath lost. His eyes widened. 

"Oh, Adelaide! You look lovely!" His smile was incredibly wide as he looked from Adelaide to Vis. "What's the special occasion?"

She caught sight of him in the mirror first, a smile already blooming across her face as she spun to face him.

"Thomas!" She started forward, then found herself stopping short with a bit of fluster at the compliment. "Oh, I'm—thank you." She smiled shyly, cheeks nearly as pink as her dress. "It's—it's nothing really, a few of Carlotta's apprentices thought, ummm—"

"Our dear Adelaide has turned eighteen today, Ser Reddington," Vis told the ghost with a grin. "Some of the costumers are taking her into the city to celebrate. You should join them!"

Thomas's smile was so bright at the joy being passed around the room. It was simply contagious.
"Your birthday? Oh, Adelaide! That's so exciting! And 18? That's a very important age-"
But he didn't get further into the why. 18 was always considered the age one was an adult, and ought to marry by- or at least pursue potentials for a match of marriage.

But as Vis went on to extend an invitation, Thomas's expression faultered.

"You.. you want me to come?" He looked between the pair, confused almost and shook his head gently.
"I'd love to but.. is it wise to just take a ghost into town?" He didn't want to be a reason to incite panic and ruin her special day...
"And it's not like I have the proper dress," he went on, a bit more playfully in his apologeticness.

"Oh, nonsense! The people of Connlaoth could use a good supernatural shake-up, I say," Vis replied with a casual wave of his head.

Adelaide winced and glared at him briefly, then turned her attention back to Thomas with a small smile. "You don't have to come if you'd be uncomfortable," she assured him gently. Then her blush heated a few degrees and she ducked her head before adding, "Though I--I certainly wouldn't mind. If you...if you wanted to come along."

Giving her head a little shake, she cleared her throat and said brightly, "But I promise I'll come see you after, if you don't want to go. If--if that's alright?"

Thomas looked at her for a good long while before sighing and smiling.
"No, that is alright, Adelaide. I shall join you for your birthday. It would be unreasonable were I not. After all," he went on, still smiling, blushing even himself. "You had invited me. And your 18th birthday... Why, I had just turned 18 when I had begun school in Uthlyn..." and he paused to try to recount much about that time. "I guess I'm still 18." He then added with an easier laugh. "I suppose I might always be 18."

"You will?" She smiled, suddenly a little nervous, but clearly pleased with his response. "Thank you, Thomas."

Her expression dropped a bit when he mentioned his age--his eternal age--but she tried not to let it show. "Well, then I suppose you will have to show me the ropes," she laughed quietly. Then: "Oh, we should hurry, Sara and Lyn will have my hide if I'm late for their plans."

She turned to give her father a quick kiss on the cheek, then darted from the tent, gesturing for Thomas to follow her as she called back, "We'll be home by midnight, Da!"

Viserian waved them off, grinning. His eyes flickered to the horizon, where the setting sun was just giving way to a rising moon. A full moon.

Interesting.

He smiled, excited, nearly as much as she, and turned to smile back at Vis as they left. He didn't know why he said it, but he did.  And felt good for it. 
"I'll have her home and safe by then. "

Vis laughed, but he nodded at him with a sort of mock sternness. "You see that you do, young man," he called back.

Addie blushed, rolling her eyes at the two of them, but she was still smiling as she led Thomas through the--now very well established--fairgrounds to the small group of younger carnival workers who were waiting for her not too far from the apple tree where she'd first met her ghostly friend.

"Adelaide!" Lyn, one of Carlotta's most promising apprentices, beamed and waved at her from the group. "C'mon! We've got a carriage waiting, let's go before the drive grows sick of us!"

"I'm coming!" Addie laughed, picking up her pace slightly. She glanced at Thomas out of the corner of her eye and added in a softer voice, "Do you think you'll be able to hitch a ride with us? I know enclosed spaces can be iffy, but maybe if you sit up with the driver...?"

Thomas followed after. It was strange not to be hindered by getting winded. But when she asked about the carriage, he frowned. 
"I'm not sure if I could use the carriage. I've never tried but didn't have a reason to try before."
He smiled at her anyway. 
"I suppose we'll find out.  Or I'll be walking."

Addie tried not to giggle, but she couldn't help it. "Well," she mused aloud, "You don't seem to have too much issue "sitting" in the stands under the big top. Hopefully it's the same sort of thing?"

They had reached the group waiting for her by now, and Lyn darted forward to grab her arm and begin chattering excitedly about what a fun night they had planned. Addie smiled and nodded along, though in all honesty she had accepted the invitation because it was heartfelt, not so much because she thought she'd really enjoy the Uthlyn taverns.

Thomas fell into his more comfortable bystander role, enjoying seeing Adelaide happy with her family and friends. He wasn't fully nervous about the travel, whatever happened happened. 

However... as one of the other young ladies teased about Addie finding a boy- Thomas distractedly walked into through a tree.

Of course, it only took Lyn a minute or so to bring up boys, which had Addie blushing and suddenly making a concerted effort not to look at her invisible--to most--companion.

"Oh, leave off," she huffed, trying to laugh. "The lot of you are much to interested in my love life."

"There's no love life to be interested in!" Doria, one of the Fantasma's merchant's assistance protested, laughing, and was quickly joined in by the others. Addie just blushed harder and resolutely said nothing as the group piled into the coach and set off for the city.

As the group of ladies loaded into the coach,  Thomas scrambled a little to get inside,  it atleast close by to the tree. The carriage was full,  and although he wouldn't take up space, he gave a nod to Adelaide to let her know he was still there and then moved to find a space elsewhere. Perhaps to sit up front with the driver. 

Adelaide smiled and nodded at him subtly in return, though she didn't exactly have an opportunity to say anything with everyone in such close quarters. All of the group knew she had met an odd new "friend", even though none could see the ghost—but she was unsure how to bring up his presence in a way that wasn't awkward.

Maybe it would be easier once everyone was settled.

All seemed well and joyous on their way to the town, and did Thomas overhear some singing along the way? It filled his heart to think how happy everyone was, but to think he could only see this sampling of life...

Was it fair to cling onto Adelaide so? Sure, she wanted to help him find answers ,true, but she had her own life to live not his undead one to humor. And though he truly loved the company, part of him could not help but be riddled with guilt? 

As the carriage strolled onward he looked to the stars. Not that they could answer him. For now, all he could do was.. watch. Speak, and never touch. That part would always be odd to him. And would remind him how unalive he were.

It seemed Adelaide needn't have worried about telling the group of their invisible passenger--when she started to, a little stilted and awkward, Lyn simply laughed and clapped her hands, exclaiming how fascinating it was to have a ghost along for a birthday party. Addie winced a bit at the word, but she smiled and allowed the girls to sweep her up in their excited energy as they reached their destination.

The carriage had been hired for the night, so no one seemed too concerned about "moderation" as they dragged Adelaide into a tavern and began ordering food and drinks. It took less than an hour for Addie to find herself perhaps a little tipsy, more amused by watching her friends and their antics than she was interested in partaking herself; lucky for her, there was someone else at the party who was more an observer that she could chat quietly with when things became a little much for her.

Eventually, the evening began to wind down, and Sara said she would call for the driver to take them home. The group bustled back out onto the street--save Addie, who paused in the doorway to look back for Thomas.

"You alright?" she asked when she caught sight of him, still feeling just tipsy enough not to mind so much when the other patrons of the tavern gave her odd looks for apparently speaking to empty air.

Thomas smiled as she looked at him,but shook his head.

"Why wouldn't I be?"
He studied her and his smile grew.

"You all seemed to have a great evening."

"Oh, well." She shrugged with a little chuckle as she looked after her friends. "Yeah, it was...fun. This is more their sort of thing, though. I'm mostly just happy they wanted to do something nice for me, y'know?"

"Ey, stranger? Who ya talkin' to?"

Addie started and glanced in the direction of the voice, which came from a smirking young man at the bar. She flushed quickly and ducked her eyes. "W-we should go..."

Thomas forgot they were in public as well and gave a sheepish nod.

"Yes." He gestured for her to move. Ladies first.

Addie quickly scurried back out of the tavern and into the carriage where her friends were waiting for her. She held the door open for Thomas; a few of the girls giggled about it, but no one was so mean-spirited as that man at the bar had been.

They began trundling off down the road, back toward the carnival grounds.

He stood there a moment before smiling and joining in. It couldn't hurt to be inside the carriage. It's not like he took up much space and well..

"It's her birthday.." he said softly with a smile.

The carriage was crowded and Thomas did his best so remain "out of the way', but the girls were a little drunk and he couldn't help but smile when a few accidently cast their arms through him.

He stole a look at Addie. He smiled more. She was happy. He supposed that's all that mattered.

Adelaide managed to catch his eye through all the chatter and giggling, and she returned his smile softly, unpleasant interaction at the tavern entirely forgotten.

The trip back to the carnival grounds seemed to go faster than their trip into the city, and Addie laughed as they pulled up on the side of the ride and Sara groaned about "going back to work".

"It's well passed midnight, love," Addie chuckled, "none of us are working for another few hours at least."

"Good." About to disembark, Sara looked back at her and asked, quite seriously, "You had fun, right? It was a good birthday?"

Addie smiled at her and held her hand as she got back onto the ground. "It was a great birthday. Thank you."

Soon enough, she and Thomas were the only two left in the carriage. It was a bit of a role reversal for Connlaothian manners, but Addie got down first and reached a hand up as though to help him from the carriage; she knew she couldn't actually touch him, but the gesture seemed important. "May I, serrah?"

Thomas hung back, letting the women off the carriage first. He didn't get off immediately, even when the carriage was empty. Rather he watched the exchange as the women all parted ways. Adelaide was eventually all who remained, and when she returned her attentions back to him... he smiled.

He stared at her hand longingly.  It was almost cruel she asked, but he knew it was intended in kindness.  And it wouldn't hurt to humor the girl. So he reached out, taking her offered hand and stepping forward. But in mid stride something occurred to him. His step made a noise.. had it not? Or was there another still in the carriage?

He turned partially to look when his shoulder collided with something and before he knew what was going on, the hand he held was jerked into him bodily as he toppled to the ground....
Pulling the young and startled young woman ontop.

And he froze, eyes so wide they were like saucers.  Had he... did they....

"Oof!" Addie had been rethinking her gesture, realizing how it might seem...well, ill-advised at best.

But then he was falling, and he actually took her with him, which just—just shouldn't have been possible. Addie found herself sprawled over his chest, staring down at him with wide eyes.

"I—you—Thomas?" she whispered, looking utterly at sea.

Despite the confusion, the first thing he asked was, "Are you alright?" And was surprised when his hand moved to support her he actually was able to touch her.

Addie shook her head slowly. "I...I'm fine," she whispered, staring at his hand on her arm. "But, Thomas, you...that..."

She looked to his face. "I can feel that..."

Thomas flinched at the words, face twisting in confusion. 

No.. no it couldn't be. He was a ghost... a spirit....

He slowly shook his head, uncertain on what to say.  No... it was preposterous. But still...if he could...


Slowly he reached an uncertain hand towards her, fingers trembling as his blue eyes misted at the contact. Her skin. It was soft... agreeable.. and warm.

Inspite of himself, he released a trembling breath; a whimper and moved a second hand to do the same. Cupping her face, he could feel. 

He couldn't erase the blooming smile on his face as he felt tears stream down his cheeks. 

"Ansgar's name.." he Whispered. Was this really happening?

"Oh my gods," Addie breathed. Her own eyes began feeling a little wet as his expression misted over. Her breath caught in her chest, disbelieving of her own senses as he reached up to cup her face and she could feel it.

"Oh my gods..." she repeated on a half-sob, tilting her head into his palm. Slowly, so slowly, she reached up to grace her fingertips over the line of his cheek, his jaw.

"Oh my gods, Thomas!" Laughing, crying, she leaned down to wrap her arms around his neck.

Thomas was stunned at her reaction. It also winded him a little, as he had no idea how to respond as she clung to him. 

The wetness of his eyes drew his attentions and when his fingers came back wet....

"What ... I.... " he blinked back more tears, staring around the place until he saw another looking at them and froze. They.. were looking... at him.

"...Adelaide?"

"Snake!" Addie suddenly let go of Thomas, twisting to see the contortionist standing and staring at them with eyebrows slightly raised. "I was—we were—"

"Who exactly is your...guest?"

Oh. Oh, right, of course. No one else had been able see Thomas before...whatever was happening.

Grinning, Addie quickly stood and held a hand down to help Thomas to his feet. "This is Thomas," she told Snake, laughing.

Thomas was still too dumb founded to reply.  Atleast not at first, he was simply gaping at Snake before scrambling to his feet with that same dumb struck grin.

"I.. uh.. yes, I'm Thomas. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," and extended his hand for Snake to shake, not thinking too much into the gesture as the whole situation was hard for him to wrap his head around. But he was smiling and beside himself. Truly... was this a living dream?

Snake's eyebrows went a little higher as he stepped closer to take the young man's hand. "So you're Thomas." He blinked, looking down at the hand in his. "Errr, hope it's alright for me to say so, but you're a bit more, well...solid than I'd have expected."

Addie laughed in sheer delight, darting forward to take Thomas's arm, squeezing tightly. "Isn't it amazing?" She beamed between the two of them. "I mean—Thomas, how do you feel?"

Thomas still couldn't believe any of this. He could feel. He could feel.

"I.. I can feel and i.. I.. don't know how..but I
.." and then he laughed, inspite of himself, he truly laughed.

"I... its... how I...?" He turned to Addie, then looked towards Snake.

His face grew serious.

"Do...you have... these sorts of.. magics?" He asked, truly at a lack of words.

Snake shook his head slowly. "No. I'm sorry, lad, I—I don't know what's happening. Mira might have some insight, but..."

Addie nodded and sighed. "She won't be back for a while yet, right?"

"Right." Snake looked between them, then suddenly chuckled. "Well—seems like you've got something of a birthday present yourself, young Thomas."

Addie looked to her friend with a blinding grin. "Heh. Yeah, I guess you did, huh?"

It still was taking some time to register that he well... existed and at Snake's statement about the gift, he turned to observe Adelaide. She was so happy, it was contagious. 

"Well, whatever this is is a miracle," he breathed. 

And if anything... truly a wonderful gift for Adelaide. 

"But we..should probably look into .. at.. at some point why I.. I'm..."

"Of course! As soon as Mira gets back, we'll talk to her," Addie exclaimed. "I mean, I know that was the plan anyway—but think of all you can do now in the meantime! Oh! Da! Come on!"

Laughing, she grabbed his hand. "We should go back to the tent and tell Da! You coming, Snake?"

The contortionist chuckled and shook his head, giving her hair a fond ruffle. "Nah, I've been up too long as it is. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, cricket."

"Oh, right." It was well-past midnight. She smiled at him. "Thanks, Snake. G'night."

Thomas felt himself being pulled along, nearly tripping as if he'd forgotten how to walk...

Had he?

Eventually he was walking along, still all smiles but still very, truly confused.

It was strange to walk through the carnival grounds so late; a place that was usually filled with light and color and sound was hushed, all glowing in soft silver starlight.

As they approached the tent she shared with Viserion, she found her steps slowing, attention narrowing to the feel of Thomas's hand in hers.

"He...might not be there, I just realized," she said with a sheepish little laugh. "He knew I wouldn't be getting in until late, he might have gone off with some of the troupe for the night."

It was only then did Thomas slow, creating a gentle pull to urge her to slow as well. He peered back at her, still smiling at he stopped and just.. laughed. In spite of it all, it was all he could do. He was.. alive again..but how!?

Nothing made sense. Nothing was adding up..


 "I still can't help but fear it's all a dream... that this is something we just imagined... maybe we're both drunk and need to sober..."
But all if those ideas were silly.. nonsense...

Yet... there had to be an explanation. Ghosts just didn't become alive again. 

Addie smiled at him, turning to face him properly and taking his other hand gently in hers.

"I don't know." She shook her head with a quiet laugh. "I don't know what's happening—I do know I'm plenty sober after that tumble, and I don't think you actually drank anything, so it's not that." She squeezed his hands with another little chuckle. "I just...I can't believe this..."

Despite their smiles, his slowly faded away, replaced with worry and concern.

"As happy as I am... I'm beginning to feel more terrified than anything.. that this.. like my disappearances.. is only something strange and.. temporary....."

Truly he could not just be relieved of death.

Could he?

Adelaide's smile fell in turn, and she glanced down. "I..."

She sighed. It would make sense, if this—this sudden return to life, as it were, was just as temporary as his fading away entirely.

"I don't know," she murmured. Then she shook herself, squeezed his hands again, and started tugging him along again, though this time away from her tent. "Well, if it is temporary, you should enjoy it while you can." She offered a small smile. "I could...snatch some food from the galley, and we could have a picnic? Somewhere you can sit and feel the grass, if you like."

Food? Feel? Enjoy? 

He stumbled along with her, his doubts temporarily peeling back. It was hard not to smile inspite that it could be all taken away as easily as it came.

But he would feel. Closing his eyes? He allowed himself to feel the cool, night air, smell the sweet dews of night and to feel the soft warmth of another's hand around his own.

He squeezed her hand back as they ran off and was all smiles again.

"We can do anything you want to."

Truly. He was too stunned to even think of any ideas.

Laughing, Addie quickly dragged him to the galley tent, snatching an armful of leftovers from the other carnival members' supper, then raced out onto the green, up a small hill where they could sit and look out over the sprawl of tents and fences.

"Here." She settled herself onto the grass and patted the ground beside her, letting her pilfered bounty--mostly cheeses, fruits, and bread--collect in her lap. "Sit with me a bit. Just...enjoy this."

As he say, Thomas took in the world around him. What he used to take for granted when he was alive, he reveled. The feel of the night wind on his skin... it's smell... those scents of the night. It even felt as if his hearing were more accute, as he closed his eyes hearing all the night creatures chattering, the frogs croaking and night birds hooting. Even the rustling of leaves was not missed before he opened his eyes again and allowed fanned fingers to brush through the cool grasses around then.

And in spite of himself, his eyes watered again as he simply relished this moment of life.

"I wish I understood what was happening," Thomas began, voice barely above a whisper.  "It's almost cruel I get to experience the feelings of life again.. as if I were cursed to experience the joys only breaths could bring and tongues can taste and nose can smell..
" His voice trailed off before he turned towards her, regarding her deeply- some hesitation in hid eyes as he studied her through a wash of teats.

"You look lovely tonight. I'm glad, if this were only to happen once.. that it was on your birthday."

"Oh, Thomas..."

Her own eyes perhaps a little overly wet, Adelaide reached up, hesitated, then laid her hand against his cheek and swiped her thumb beneath his eye, catching a few tears. "I wish I knew how to make this last," she whispered, throat a little tight. "I wish I could promise you I would fix this. I just..."

She sighed and dropped her eyes. "I know it's selfish...but I'm glad too." She gave hima  sad smile. "I'd glad I get to see you like this. Be with you like this. Even if--even if it's just once..."

Without realizing it, she'd started to lean toward him. She caught herself and froze, swallowing thickly. Her mouth was suddenly dry, chest tight and stomach swooping giddily.

Thomas froze when she did, only then realizing what had almost happened. So many thoughts shot through his mind- reservations.. propriety... and the fact he wasn't just some man wanting to lead a woman on like a toy...

But if it could only happen just the once....

His eye lids lowered, a trembling, nervously sweaty hand palming her cheek, cupping it as he leaned closer, slow in his approach before releasing a trembling breath as he asked,
"Can I kiss you, Adelaide?"
The words scarcely came out, almost too low.. a whisper.

Her heart jumped up onto her throat, and for a long moment she couldn't speak. But she was already nodding, leaning in closer as she responded in a faint whisper of her own, "Yes. Please..."

She didn't know if what they were doing was right, or if it would only make things more painful; but she knew she wanted it, wanted it in a way she couldn't remember wanting anything before.

The smile that lit his eyes at her words was more powerful than the heat of the sun. Fingers moved, gently stroking her cheek as he leaned in closer, hesitating only briefly to make a soft noise before they kissed.

Heart hammering against the inside of her breastbone, Adelaide caught her breath in that brief moment before his lips met hers.

She half expected him to feel cold. Ghostly. But he didn't. He was wonderfully warm and alive and that tension coiling in her lower belly suddenly exploded into a giddy starburst that rushed through her whole body.

She reached up to curl her fingers in his hair just behind his ear and pulled him closer, until their chest brushed with her slightly panting breaths. When they broke apart, she was smiling dizzily.

"That..." She swallowed. "Wow..."

Thomas blushed.
"I.. always wanted to do that."
He continued to look upon her, studying her features as if for the first time. No detail was too small, and his lips still tingled from their kiss.

"I truly like you, Adelaide.  I like you a lot. It... I... " he fumbled over his words before releasing a breathy laugh.

"Ansgar's name... how I want to kiss you again. "

"...So do it."

Cheeks very pink, Adelaide smiled at him and let her hand drift down to settle on his shoulder. "I...I like you, too, Thomas," she murmured. "I-I care about you." She gave a nervous little giggle of her own before whispering, "I would...very much like it if you would kiss me again."

Thomas's heart, which had been hammering fiercely the whole time, nearly somersaulted out if his chest. His own face, and now, own body, grew hot. He stared at her, drinking her in, wondering which of the gods to thank for giving them this moment.

As such, he didn't hesitate long before he leaned forward gently, softly and kissed her again. Her lips tasted soft and sweet, the faint tang of alcohol intoxicating on its own. Her lips were so soft.. so sweet...

And as he pulled away, a husky half lidded gaze taking her in, he cupped her face with one hand and confessed, "I think I may have become fond of you for quite some time, Adelaide. But I never... would have never considered.."

What were even the right words to say?

She giggled quietly and shook her head disbelievingly. "I...I've grown rather fond of you, too," she murmured. "But I never would have thought—I mean, how could we have thought..."

She reached up to card her fingers gently through his hair, a soft smile still curving her lips. "I'm afraid I...don't have much experience in this particular area," she chuckled quietly.

And that's when he laughed, a genuine, clear bell like noise.

"Oh, Adelaide.. you.. were my first kiss."

"Oh thank gods." The words slipped out before she could help it, and she quickly blushed deeper. "I mean, ah...me too," she admitted with another giddy little chuckle. "That is...you were mine, too..."

His smile continued to grow as he watched her, a warmth growing vibrantly in his eyes.
Then he asked again..

"Might we kiss again?"

"Yes." She nodded quickly, already leaning in. "Yes, please do..."

She slid her hand on his shoulder up to cup the back of his neck, eyes fluttering closed as she held her breath.

Perhaps he was emboldened by his emotions, by the sheer magic and happenstance of the moment- but Ansgar's name forgive him as he kissed her more than once on their little hill top, secluded yet so open and honest beneath the stars. In fact, he kissed her a dozen times, if not more. Each one sensual, tasting and long lasting, each kiss with passion but culled from propriety but the flare was there, the truth and heat...
For even though he was gentile, he could not shake that these kisses could be his only.. and their last.

Quite without realizing how they got there, Adelaide found that she and Thomas had reclined back onto the grass, and she had one arm around his shoulders and the other around his waist as she pulled him closer and arched up onto the contact, gasping between kisses until she was dizzy, and—

"Ahem."

Addie shrieked quietly and tried to bolt upright, scrambling to fix her skirt and hair as she saw...

Oh, gods end me now.

"D-Da!"

Thomas gasped and moved defensively before Adelaide before he paled at who it was.

Oh no... how could they explain?

He shrunk back a little, but made no real effort to run or side. 

"I'm sorry, sir! But the night.. proved too enchanting and I... I could not waste any more seconds or breath without kissing her."

He kept eyes locked to his, straightening himself as he professed ,"I'm in love with Adelaide."

...He was what?!

Viserian arched one perfectly manicured eyebrow at Thomas's proclamation, but otherwise his expression remained stony.

"Are you now?" he asked, relatively mildly. "Well. I suppose that's very nice, but frankly I find myself more intrigued as to how you are managing to kiss my daughter." Giving Adelaide a slightly sterner look, he added, "Quite thoroughly, it would seem. Which I should think she should know better to be careful about."

"Da!" she protested, cheeks crimson. "We were just kissing! And it, um...well..." She looked at Thomas. "We're not...sure how..."

In spite of himself, his entire face was red with embarrassment. Even still.. he nodded in agreement.

"We were stepping out of the carriage... and somehow... she, Adelaide... could hold my hand."

Viserian's eyebrows rose higher. "Intriguing," he murmured. "And you have no indication of why this might have suddenly occurred?"

Adelaide shook her head, still mildly stunned as she looked at Thomas. In love?!?!

"I—no. No, we don't know why," she stammered out. "We thought Mira might be good to ask, but..."

Her father nodded. "Yes, unfortunate. Hmm..."

Thomas frowned.  His cheeks were still very red, but the nights hid most of that well.

"Adelaide.. is it possible you.. or another here may have some ability to do this to a spirit? Unknowingly?"

Adelaide shook her head slowly. "I...I don't think so," she told him apologetically. She looked to her father--he usually seemed to know more than he let on, maybe...

But Viserian merely shook his had with a shrug. "To my knowledge, no one at the Cirque has such an ability. But yes, it seems your pending conversation has grown only more urgent." He paused, looked them bother over, then shrugged again and smiled. "Well, I suppose I shan't interrupt you any longer. Do be careful, Adelaide--who knows just what sort of consequences your Thomas's solidity may have; eighteen seems young for accidental motherhood."

"Da!" Adelaide all but shrieked, but Viserian was already ambling away back down the hill, whistling innocently. Face very red, she dropped her head into her hands with a groan.

Adelaide's face wasn't the only one that was deep, hot red. Thomas was sure this kind of embarrassment stained for weeks. He couldn't even speak after a comment like that-
His mind had hardly been in that direction, and it made him dizzy another would have even considered...

He swayed and accidentally bumped into Addy, where he stilled himself with a mumbled apology. He looked down at her, unable to help it as he smiled before he slowly shook his head.

"Adelaide... do not worry yourself. I would never do such a thing to you. I... this... situation... I'm no fool. As much as I... I am..." he continued, confidence growing. "in love with you, Adelaide... I'm also cautious this might just be.... a dream... a single moment in time, a strange occurrence of some unknown afterlife mystery I have yet to comprehend."

He sighed and lowered his head. Growing quiet, but then after a time, he smiled a little, it itching at the corners of his lips.
"But if I were to have dreams as if I were living... I could see you being the mother of my children," he then replied softly, earnestly before lifting his gaze to hers.

"I—Thomas..."

Adelaide bit her lip as she looked up at him, her own eyes bright in the starlight. "I... That's...that's a lot to take in," she murmured. "I don't know if—I'm not sure what I even want for my future yet. But..."

She swallowed, glanced down, then looked up into his face again with a small smile. "Whatever my future holds...I would really, really like it if you were in it..."

She reached up to stroke her hand over his cheek gently. "I—I care about you so much, Thomas. I've...never felt like this about anyone..."

Thomas took her in, drinking her in with his mind, body and soul. They were alone again, and their emotions were again high. But even still, he was proper- he would treat her well, so he asked, stroking her face, gently, "Can I kiss you again, Addy?" he asked, eyes half lidded and voice only above a whisper.

"...Yes..." She was already leaning into him, closing her eyes and tilting her head as her lips brushed his just barely. She smoothed her palm over his cheek and down to cup the back of his neck, sliding her other hand up the length of his arm so she could grip his shoulder gently.

Despite the left-over flush  to her cheeks from her father's warning, the source of heat seemed to quickly be shifting from embarrassment to passion. She hummed quietly against his mouth and pressed a little closer.

Despite the recent warning, and his promise to Adelaide- or perhaps, oddly because of it...
Fire and attraction broiled beneath him, hands moving softly against her back, instinctively pulling their bodies closer as they kissed and kissed until he gasped, feeling hers fully against his own as a sensation zinged through his body that gave him a moment to pause as he held her so close, so tense.

Adelaide was panting again when they paused, clutching at his back to hold him against her. "M-Maybe..." She swallowed thickly and tipped her had back, trying to cool her face. "Maybe we should...slow down...a bit..." she whispered, though with clear reluctance in her voice.

He didn't speak, simply nodded.
"Y-yeah.. I... I can see why you're father was warning us."
He flushed, moving a hand to cup her face. "I apologize.  I got caught up in the moment.." and reluctantly loosened his hold on her. But by Ansgar's name her being so close was heaven.

"Yes," Adelaide sighed and nodded, leaning her cheek into his palm as he cupped her face. "Da can be obnoxiously prudent."

As he started to pull away she shifted so that she lay facing him on her side and reached up to trail the backs of her fingers along his cheek.

Biting her lower lip gently, she suggested softly, "Maybe we could just...stay like this, for a bit longer? I—" She flushed, then admitted, "I want to stay close to you. For as long as this lasts."

He flushed too, eyes captured by hers in the twilight.

"For as long as this lasts?" He paused, smiling small. "What if that's forever?" And the last part was asking in no more than a whisper. 

Adelaide's blush deepened and her smile widened. "Well...I suppose we'll have to figure out a way to move a tent out here—it's bound to start raining at some point in forever."

He couldn't stop smiling. How could all of this be? He was a lost spirit, incoporeal and now...solid as the day. But her words warmed him like the sun as he closed his eyes and moaned happily at the moment and their nearness and hugged her close.
"Rain, floods or even snow... it wouldn't matter. This.." he held her tighter and nuzzled in closer. "Is all that does."

She laughed and cuddled a little closer, smiling against his cheek as she tipped her head up to give him a light peck.

"Of course you're a romantic," she sighed, mock pouting at him for a moment. "I never stood a chance, did I?"

Thomas blushed.
"I.. don't know what to say to that. I've never known love... not this kind of love.. not before I became a.. a spirit." His thoughts trailed off as he held her, and held her fierce.
"Having your life suddenly taken from you really puts everything into perspective. And everything else in life pales in comparison to this."

"Oh, Thomas..." She cupped his cheek, eyes searching his face. "I—I've never felt like this," she murmured. "And I certainly never expected—I mean, the two of us, it..."

She sighed, stroking her thumb along the line of his cheekbone. "Is this crazy?" she whispered. "Are we crazy?"

Thomas's eyes fell deeply into her's the more she spoke and the more she spoke the closer he leaned in and answered simply, "Yes." Before his lips sealed warmly unto hers and he melted into a kiss.  After a long moment, he made a soft noise as he pulled away.

"I just hope," he said between breaths, eyes still looking within hers. "That this is a blessing, a miracle and will continue to be."

"Me too..." She held his face in her hands for a moment before tilting her head for another kiss.

Despite the euphoria of this moment, there was a chill in the pit of her stomach at his words "will continue to be". A fear that...it wouldn't. They'd become friends so quickly, so easily, and it had been painful enough to know they existed in such different states before all this. Now...

She couldn't bear the thought of losing this.

As if sensing how she felt, Thomas wrapped his arms around her and held on with a fierce hug. Sighing a moment later, he smiled.

"You know.. thinking back to your worry about rain.. I almost wished it would. To.. just be able to.. well .. feel again...it's... just.. wonderful."

Adelaide smiled wistfully and stroked her hand over his cheek, then started to sit up with a quiet sigh. "I wish I had some sort of proper magic," she laughed lightly, for a moment entirely forgetting just what country they were in. "Maybe I could do something for you  with rain."

Just then, the skies reopened and it began to pour. Thomas sat up suddenly, eyes wide before he scrambled suddenly to his feet, helping Adelaide along as he was... was that.. laughter? 

Pure, wonderful laughter got swallowed up in the rain. But the man was so happy, so excited as he threw his arms open and began to just twirl about in the unrelenting down pour.

"Oh!" Instinctively, she tried to raise her arms to shield herself from the sudden downpour. But then Thomas was laughing, and the joy was so clear and bright in the sound that she found herself laughing too. "I swear this wasn't me!" she exclaimed through fits of mirth, watching him spin in the rain with a smile on her face even as water poured over her cheeks.

He saw her trying to shield herself and laughed, scooping her up suddenly into his arms and spinning her around as he kissed her- and couldn't stop. Soft lips whimpered as they pressed needingly to hers, his breath and body both becoming hot as he held onto her and just couldn't let go.

"Thomas--!" Her laughing voice was cut off as he kissed her again and she wrapped her arms around his neck. There were the barest partings for gasps of air between kisses, and she couldn't tell if she was getting lightheaded from his touch or from those desperate breaths.

She also found that she didn't much care. Her hands moved down to curl her fingers into the collar of his shirt and she held on for dear life as the rain pattered down around them. Thunder rumbled distantly somewhere to the east, but she paid it no mind.

They had found themselves lying back beneath the stares when the rains had passed. Thomas held her close. They were both soaking wet and freezing, for a cool breeze reminding them it was still night. He hugged her, really hugged her and held her close.

"I wish we could stay this way forever."
Perhaps they would? He smiled, resting his head upon hers.
"I hope today was a good birthday," he told her softly, brushing a stray trail of rain water off her cheek. 

Adelaide sighed happily and pressed her cheek into his hand. "The best," she assured him quietly.

Glancing at the leftover raindrops still dripping from the leaves and clinging to the grass around them, she added with a soft laugh, "But I do rather think I'd like to end it somewhere warm and dry."

She sat up slowly, pulling him with her and keeping their fingers laced together. Leaning in to kiss his cheek gently, she murmured, "Come on. Da will have a change of clothes back in the tent--you can get into something new, something warm."

He smiled at that and kissed her fingers softly back.
"I suppose even I'm getting a little chilled," he confessed, sheepishly smiling at her as he took her by the arm and began to walk with her down the rain soaked hill.
"It's.. been sometime since I've had to desire warmth or dryness."

Her eyes flickered sadly, but she still smiled at him as they got to their feet and started down the hill. "I know. I...rather thought that might why it could be, y'know. Nice for you."

As they reached the tent she shared with Vis, she called a soft, cautious, "Da?"

No response.

Giving Thomas a crooked smile, she slipped inside. "If he's not back by now, he'll be out until passed dawn. C'mon, I'll find something dry for you to wear."

It didn't take long of hunting through her father's spare clothes to find a nightshirt and loose breeches that looked like they would fit Thomas alright, if perhaps a little loosely. She pressed the bundled fabric into his arms with another smile. "Here. I'm just..." Her cheeks pinked as she stepped back toward her bed and the privacy curtain that separated it from the main portion of the tent. "I'll just change quick. One moment."

Her cheeks weren't the only one's that were pink. Thomas figured he ought not to dally as Adelaide changed on one side of the room and he-on the other. It was.. strange to take off the clothing he had been wearing since the night he... the night he turned into this.

He was still too afraid to admit he was truly dead- especially not after what happened today. He could touch, feel, live with those again. Surely it had just been a brief curse? Perhaps.. perhaps Adelaide had cured him of that?

He sheepishly peeked towards the curtains, almost forgetting himself when he realized she had been dressinga nd he could almost see it through the thin curtain and dance of warm lamp light-
and it causedhim to misstep into the clean pair of pants he was holding-
and he stumbled forward, with a cry and crash- clean into the privacy curtain that hadonce seperated the pair.

"Oh!"

She had just gotten into a nightshift when Thomas came tumbling through the privacy curtain. She skittered back instinctively, clutching the fabric of her shift close to her chest as she blinked down at him. It took a breath before her brain caught up with what was happening.

"Goodness, oh--" She quickly knelt beside him, one hand fluttering anxiously. "Are you alright?"

Thomas had fallen forward,- he was barely in his dry trousers when he nearly collided with her. When he realized... half of him wasn;t.. modest- he snatched up the fallen privacy curtain to keep his modesty- face flushing bright red.

"I.. I'm sorry, I.. I guess it's been so long since I.."

But then, realizing their predicament, he couldn't help himself but laugh. Then he turned away.
"I am sorry, Adelaide. I did not mean to laugh I just..."

He was still very much embarrassed however... what was the luck in that? His first time getting a chance to change clothing and he couldn't even step into his pants without feeling like a baby deer walking for the first time.

Once she realized he was unhurt, Adelaide found herself devolving into giggles alongside him. The situation was just so—so ludicrous. And gods, any joy from him caught in her breast like wildfire.

She hoped that feeling never went away.

"Here," she laughed quietly, pulling the caught fabric of the curtain aside to untangle him. "Let me help."

Her fingertips brushed over his bare shoulders and she flushed, but determinedly kept her eyes from moving too low. She helped pull the nightshirt up his arms and started on the lacing over his chest.

"...Feel better?" she asked quietly, peeking up at him through her lashes. "To be warm and dry, I mean?"

Thomas blushed ar her minstrations but nodded.

"Yes.. I suppose it does," he drew in a long breath then released it slowly, before smiling over at her and taking her hand.

"Each sensation just feels so.. amazing.." he gushed, giving her hand a squeeze. "Even new ones.." he added, blushing as he brushed a few stray hairs from her cheek.

She smiled and leaned into his touch, letting her eyes close so her lashes brushed her cheeks for a moment with a small sigh.

"Come on." She stood, taking his other hand and tugging lightly to pull him with her. Smile quirking up slightly on one side, she added, "I'll bet a comfortable bed will be just as nice as the new clothes."

Thomas stumbled in her wake, allowing her to lead him towards the bed. He blushed and felt an odd yet exhilarating sensation zing up his spine. He wasn't sure why sharing a bed to sleep in versus sleeping together openly beneath the stars made him feel... strangely as he did, but the blush remained fierce as ever as he followed.

Adelaide's bed wasn't exactly luxurious, but it was warm and comfortable, and just wide enough that they could fit together on the mattress if they pressed close.

"I'm exhausted," she laughed quietly as she snuggled down under the covers. Color rose in her cheeks. "So much has happened tonight--I didn't even realize how tired I was until I lay down."

Thomas hesitated only briefly. He.. never considered he would have his first time sharing a woman's bed be.. well...
It wasn't like that.
They had only just been able to touch.

But he couldn't help himself but dream of what might be...
If their love were to come to fruition, and to share a bed.. make a life... make a family.

He tried to push down those thoughts for now, and just enjoyed the moment, crawling into bed beside her, a hand moving to brush away her hair from her face.

"By the moonlight and skies, am I in love with you," he told her in earnest, words never more purer from his lips.

Adelaide blushed and ducked her eyes; she felt as though she couldn't look at him when he said things like that. It wasn't embarrassment, exactly, more...it felt in a way like she was chancing fate. Like the precious, fragile stolen moment might shatter like glass if she looked directly at it.

"I...I love you too, Thomas..." She still didn't know herself if she was in love with him—gods, she barely understood that idea yet—but she knew the fierce way she cared about him, and she could put the word love to it.

He pulled her into a fierce embrace, holding her so close he felt he might burst. He buried his face into her shoulder, sighing and taking in her scent.. her warmth...

"Maybe I have died and gone to heaven," he sighed, sighing in and relaxing with his arms around her, nestled in close.

"Don't say that." She hugged him back just as tightly, pressed cheek to cheek and heart to heart. "You're here. You're alive, and you're here."

Her eyes fluttered sleepily; it truly had been a long evening, and it was taking more and more effort to keep herself awake.

He gave a soft, happy moan at that as he closed his eyes.
Then he told her, after he kissed at her hair.
"You know.. this is your fault," he whispered.

"I beg your pardon?" she giggled as she returned the soft touch with a peck to his cheek. "And just how do you figure that?"

He smiled but did not open his eyes.

"This was your birthday wish.. wasn't it?" he asked softly.

"Oh, Thomas..." She kissed him gently, sleepily. "I wouldn't have known how to wish for something this wonderful..."

Within minutes, sleep finally claimed her. She drifted off with her arms around him, their legs tangled together and the blankets cocooning them on the small bed into a tiny bundle.

And he had fallen asleep too, gently stroking her hair until dreams had come.

And then nothing.

He turned back into nothing.
And fully disappeared.

Adelaide woke surprisingly chilled. What with the blankets and another body in the small bed, she would have thought she'd be overheated, if anything...

It took a few moments for her sleep-hazy mind to register the emptiness beside her. Once she did, she bolted upright. "Thomas?"

No answer.

There was no one there.

No replies would come, no voice- no sign of Thomas at all...
Except the pile of limp and empty clothing that she had given to him, those still remained, empty, and as a deflected shell upon the bed at her side.

"Oh..."

Adelaide stared for a long moment at the empty clothes before she reached out to touch them cautiously.

They were warm.

Her eyes started to burn as tears welled up. Sniffing, she drew his borrowed nightshirt to her chest and held it there, drawing her knees in and bowing her head.

It wasn't a dream. It had happened.

But now it was over.

And her heart broke.

It was hard to tell if it had all been a dream- but there was truths all around her-
From the fading warmth of the clothing, to the fading smells...

But the harshest truth of all was that he was gone- not even his ghostly visage lingering or that subtle presence felt.

All the while outside the tent, the workers were alive and active, preparing for the day.

"Addie dear?"

Her father's voice snapped her attention to the front of their tent, where the Ringmaster was ducking inside. Speaking distractedly as he seemed to be searching for something, he called in the direction of her divider, "I do hate to drag you from slumber the morning after such a birthday, but we could use your help with..."

He looked up to see her standing beside her dividing curtain, clutching the empty night shirt to her chest. For a moment, his expression was simply confused. Then understanding dawned, followed swiftly by sorrow and concern.

"Oh, Adelaide..."

He held his arms open, and she ran into the embrace, sobbing.

Maybe it should have been a dream. Although the others had seem him.. met him.. interacted and even touched him to know he had been real...

Or as real as whatever phantom Thomas was....

But the only truth remained was that...

He was gone.

Yet... would he return as he once had? Or.. was that the end of Thomas's visit to this world?

Addie was listless the rest of the day. Her father let her cry herself out that morning, and told her she could take some time to herself if she needed it.

She didn't know what to do with herself. The night before, everything had just felt so wonderful—how could it be so awful now?

Eventually, she found herself back under the tree at the edge of the fairgrounds, where she had first met Thomas. She didn't make a conscious decision to go there, but rather simply looked up and realized that's where her feet had taken her.

With a sigh, she sat against the trunk and let her head fall back.

Was this it? Was he gone? Forever, this time? She didn't think she could bear it.

As the sun died off, it bathed the world in a glow of reds. The entire world around her was blanketed in that color.. only a more appropriate color might be purple or blue. For there was an air of melancholy throughout the whole field that seemed to well up upon the hill beneath that tree...
And it even sounded as though the tree were sobbing..

But in truth- if one were to catch it and the light just right.they would see the tears of a young ghost sobbing in the shadowy darkness within the tall grass and roots of the tree.

Adelaide has actually started to doze off against the tree--she wouldn't have thought it was possible, she felt too miserable for sleep. But it seemed frequent bursts of inconsolable sobbing actually took quite a lot of energy, and as the light began to fade, she faded with it.

Except... There was a moment when she thought she heard something. Faint, but definitely there.

She sat up a little straighter, sniffing and wiping at her eyes. "H-Hello? Is...anyone there?"

The noise was still there. It was muffled.. seeming distant yet somehow also.. close.

And if she were to strain and listen...
She might just have heard her name from the shadows on the other side of the tree...

And if she were to seek it- a form would flitter in and out of existence through the rippling dance of light rhay broke through the tree.

But in the shadow? The shadows his form was bolder.. more obvious and as the winds settled she would see....


Thomas's form sobbing beneath the tree.

Adelaide squinted at the flickering form in the shadows. Her Sight could be tricky, and sometimes she thought she Saw something when the explanation was truly mundane, but this seemed...

Oh gods. She almost didn't want to hope. It would be worse if she made herself believe he might actually come back and he didn't, but--but...

"Th-Thomas?" she whispered, cautiously moving just a single step closer. "Is that...are you here?"

At his name, his form rose suddenly, teary eyes meeting to hers. But a sudden rise in wind scattered his form into a thousand pieces and his reply was taken away.

And the winds grew so intense that the light spilled through the branches in a triumphant display of the dying day- rattling and scattering the shadows . The winds only intensified , the image all but erased.


And then..

The winds suddenly with drew...
Andthe shadows fell back into place like the drapes drawing closed on a stage.

And he was there.
He was there.

There was no mistaking it now, as the shadows clothed him...
Thomas stood as she had seen him so many times before...
In that ghostly translucent glow standing , hid form braced against the tree in the dark.

"Thomas!"

She spun as the wind and the light seemed to scatter him apart, searching desperately. But then he was there! he was back, he was--

A shadow. A ghost.

She pressed her hands to her mouth, a new wave of tears spilling down her cheeks. Gods, she didn't know how a body could have so many tears. "Oh...Thomas..."

She reached out to him with a sob, knowing it wouldn't work but still desperately longing to touch him.

His tears looked real.

Because they were.

His sadness looked real.

Because he felt it.

His words were true, as he spoke it.

"Gods.. Adelaide... "

"I've missed you."

And he moved to embrace her- but all she would feel were the shadows and the wind as it picked up and scattered what image was left of him away. 

"No, no, no." She turned in place, searching the slowly lengthening shadows for his shape. "Please, no, please, come back..."

She gasped out a sob and sank down onto her knees, looking around helplessly. "Please come back, I--I miss you so much..."

And after a few minutes of her sobbing, clouds rolled over the setting sun...
And as the darkness draped over her...

He was there.

"Thomas..." She just stared at him, tear tracks burned onto her cheeks. "Gods, are you--are you okay?"

His own tears streamed down his face- although translucent, it was very real.

"No.. no I'm not okay," he croaked, lips trembling. "But I am here."

"Oh, Thomas." She reached for him, and her fingers passed through his cheek. She choked on a new sob and drew her hand back into her chest. "I--what happened? I woke up and...you were just gone."

He couldn't stop the streams of tears that rolled down his face. He went to reach for her in kind.. but grimaced and held back. 

"I.. I don't know... i... it was like before... there was nothing.. and then like waking from a dream... I'm here..." he trembled. "Like this .. "
He closed his eyes, tears streaming. "Again."

Gods, all she wanted was to reassure him, to tell him it was okay but she couldn't and it was killing her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, hands fluttering uselessly as she wanted to reach for him but knew it would only make things worse. "Gods, Thomas, I--I'm so sorry...I th-thought...I really thought..."

She sniffled, a fresh wave of tears swamping over her. "I just wish I could hold you."

And at her words, he got to one knee and buried his face into his hands..

And sobbed.

"Oh no, no no no no no." She dropped down in front of him, reached out as thought to hug him, remembered, and quickly drew her hands back.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I--I wasn't thinking..."

Her breath was coming in that sharp, jagged way it did when one had nearly cried themselves out. "I'm so sorry, Thomas," she whispered, whimpered. "I shouldn't--we never should have..."

Oh gods, she hadn't thought it possible to feel worse than she already did. She'd been wrong.

"No.." he sobbed.  "No.." he sobbed again, shaking his head and finally lifting his eyes to look at her. His eyes glittered with fresh tears. He reached out, stroking at her face longingly. But of course, all he touched was air.

"Even if it was just for a day... I'm glad we got to share that moment .. if but once."

She reached up to hover her hand just above his, longing to press his touch to her cheek.

"There...there has to be a reason," she rasped, blinking away new tears. "If—if it happened once, surely it could happen again? W-we could make it happen..."

Slowly, she reached out with her other hand and let it hover in the air just a hair's breadth from his cheek.

His smile was like a sad sonnet, and his lips trembled, eyes threatening with a fresh batch of tears.

"I.. I'm just thankful I can see you again. I thought..."

Well everything he 'faded' away, he felt as if he'd never return that that was the end.

But why wasn't he... dead? Why had he rematerialized? Was he truly some sort of ghost? Or.. was there something more sinister about his strange inability to truly return as a human?

Addie swallowed thickly, drawing her hand back in toward her chest. "I—I thought so too..." she whispered, and reached up to wipe at her eyes. "I'm so glad you—I mean I'm not, I wish you were still...that we could..."

She sniffled and wiped her eyes again. "I'm...so sorry, Thomas..."

He reached but could not touch, but remained there, close to her.

"Do not apologize, Adelaide. Please.." His eyes implored. "I'm still happy I could even return. "

He then paused.. hesitating before he asked,"How.. how long was I gone?"

She sniffled again and wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. "Most of the day," she whispered in reply. "Longer than the other times before. I--I thought you might..."

She drew in a shaky breath. "I thought you might...really be gone."

Troubled, Thomas grew silent as he considered that. Did his longer absence have to do with his body turning physical again?

But this is the first time it had ever happened.yet why?

When you were.. in his unfortunate position, time was lost to you. And he had only recently met Adelaide... how could he know? 

There were too many questions and he felt 😠, impotent. He shook his head.

"Well, I'm not gone yet. Whatever reason I am here.. I am like this.. it seems the gods aren't finished with me yet."

Addie blinked, slightly startled by his turn of phrase. "The gods?" she repeated. While Thomas had never shown an overt distrust of any of the more "abnormal"--or downright magical--acts in the Fantasma, he'd also never struck her as not being religiously Connlaothian either.

...Were there gods involved? It was a fantastical thought, but then...whatever Thomas had become was also something fantastical.

"Can you explain this in any other way? This phenomenon.  I'm not quite dead yet.. " he moved to pass a hand through her and hesitated. "But I'm not with the living," he added softly.

"I don't know." Addie shook her head slowly. "I don't know, Thomas..."

She watched his hand pass through her, shivering slightly both for the chill and for the memory of a touch that wasn't there. "Maybe..."

She looked up at him, grief warring with a manically desperate hope in her eyes. "Maybe--now that you're back, maybe my father will be able to...maybe he can see something, or figure something out about why..."

Thomas hoped upon hope that that one moment when he could feel.. touch.. be alive... That it meant hope, not defeat. But it was so hard not to feel so dejected.

But he smiled anyway. If not for himself, then for her.

"I am atleast grateful I have this..
 When I.. disappear... I'm afraid each time it's for forever. "

And this last time made it worse.

"Don't say that," Addie begged, reaching for him once again without thinking before she caught herself and drew her hands back. "We--we'll figure something out. We will, there has to be something."

She swallowed thickly and spun on her heel, starting to pace restlessly. "This isn't normal. It can't be--I've never known a g-ghost like you, Thomas," she whispered. "I don't believe--I can't believe that's all this is."

Thomas wished with all of his being to be able to hold her. 

"We'll figure this out, Adelaide.  We will.. we have to. There must be a way.. and a reason. Perhaps it's a curse I must break? But I can't even begin to fathom why someone would target me. I.. I wasn't a man of any significance.  And I was just to begin my studies at the college.."

"Thomas..."

She didn't want to ask. She couldn't even imagine how difficult it must be to think about, but..."

Biting at her lower lip, she took a cautious step toward him and asked softly, "How much...do you remember? About what happened before--before you wound up like this. What happened to you?"

It.. well..the act was not something he much remembered- or rather dared to remember.  It seemed like a dream.. life before death.. the strange occurrences that lead to this phase.

And then he recalled the pain of the dagger- and suddenly gripped at his chest where it had been plunged. He hadn't even seen it- stabbed in the back and...


Wait.. was that how it had gone?

He trembled, recalling the pain of death just moments after...

He shivered as tears streamed down his face.

"I was murdered.." he whispered, confessed.  Then closed up as a choked sob over took him.

Her stomach dropped. She knew ghosts rarely formed from peaceful deaths, she'd had her suspicions, but...

"Thomas, I—I'm so sorry," she whispered, wishing with all her heart that she could offer some sort of comforting touch. "I'm so sorry, but I—I have to ask, do you...remember who? Why?"

He was shocked by his own reveal- stunned .. as if reliving the moment as he clutched at an open wound that wasn't there.

Her words barely grounded him as he blinked back tears.

"I.. I don't know. I.. I had been traveling.. I was going to college... to learn I..."

And someone took it all away- his life, his future....

"Thomas..."

All she wanted in the world was to be able to hold him. She couldn't stop herself from reaching for him this time, and swallowed back a sharp sob when her fingertips brushed his shoulder and passed through like mist.

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I asked, I just thought if we knew more--but it's okay. You don't have to talk about it. I'm so sorry..."

He bowed his head, body tense over the memory before he drew in a shivering breath and shook his head.

"No.. no you're right." He wiped at his tears. "This.. it couldn't help us figure out the why.. maybe lead to the cause.."

But it didn't make it any easier to talk about. 

"...It could." She took a cautious step closer. "But you can take your time. Maybe--maybe if we just...sit for a moment? Don't force yourself..."

Thomas shook his head.
"No." His hands gripped into fists before he spoke more firmly. "No. I want answers. I want to figure this out. I want to know what nefarious curse is behind this.. I.."

Something came alight within his eyes and he looked towards Adelaide.

"Things were strange before I was heading to the college in Uthlyn. As if my luck had become too good to be true. I really wanted to attend college but wasn't sure I'd have the chance. But everything.. it all fell together so perfectly.. what if.. but no.." he frowned in midthought.

She hated this, hated forcing him to relive it, but if it could give them some real answers...

"Your family," she said softly, suddenly. "You said--you came to the city for school, but your family doesn't live here, right? Are they...do they know?"

"Know?" He blinked.  "Kmow what?" 

Then he realized and his expression changed. 

"I.. I don't know. I've been wandering this area for as long as I've.. I've been this way.  It's.. almost like I'm leashed to this area. I.. they.."

What did his family think? Were they even aware? How much time had even passed?

"Oh, Thomas." Adelaide stared at him mournfully. "I..."

There were only so many times she could say she was sorry. She didn't know what else to do.

"Where do they live?" she asked softly.

Maybe they would know something—at the very least, they deserved to know what had...that he was...

It took him far longer to compose himself than he expected, but eventually he spoke again. 

"I was raised by my grandmother... Ansgar's name.. I can't.. she.."

Was she okay? Had someone gone after her?

"We lived in a small village. We weren't poor but rented out a small duplex on the nicer side of the town. Wihssun. It .. it was a few hours north of Uthlyn."

He frowned and looked and Adelaide with pleading eyes.

"Adelaide.. is.. is there anyway we can try and reach her?"

"Of course." Her hands fluttered as she started to reach for him yet again, then had to stop herself. "Oh, Thomas, of course we can. I—I'll make sure we can."

She glanced back toward the array of tents that darted the carnival grounds. "We should talk to Da. Oh!" She looked back at him quickly. "Da! He doesn't know you're—" she stumbled over the word "okay" and settled for, "You're back."

He made a face over her choice of words..
Then realized why.

"I.. I didn't mean to worry so many.. I.."

Adelaide smiled softly at him and nodded slowly. "You have friends here, Thomas," she told him quietly, almost reassuring. "More than me. Even if—even if they can't see you, they know you're here."

He smiled, but the sadness was hard to hide.

"We should go. He'll want to know. And maybe you can update me on if I missed anything important with the circus."

"...Of course." Adelaide tried for a smile of her own, but was afraid she didn't quite manage it. She nodded down the hill and gestured for him to follow her before taking a few cautious steps.

"Honestly, I... I don't have much news," she murmured after a moment. "Da let me skip out on work today. I was..." She swallowed and glanced away. "I thought you were--you were gone, and I...wasn't handling it well."

Thomas stopped following her abruptly and reached for her hand, only for it to pass right through her wrist.

"Adelaide!" He couldn't believe she.. she was just brushing it off like it were nothing. 

She stopped and turned to face him, eyes wide. "What's wrong?"

Well. Aside from the obvious, she supposed.

He wished he could touch her. Pain filled his eyes as he reached out to cup her face- a ghost of an action. 

"Adelaide... I'm sorry.. for what it's worth I'm sorry. I had no idea any of this could hsppen." He looked more deeply into her eyes, imploring. "If I could have stayed that way, I'd never let you go."

"...I know."

She tried for a smile and thought she managed something close, if a little shaky. "You don't have to apologize, Thomas," she murmured. "Last night--"

Her throat tightened a bit and she swallowed, flicking her eyes away for a moment before looking back to him. "Last night was probably the best night of my life."

Even if that morning had been one of the worst.

At that reveal, he smiled. Through tears he smiles anyway.  

"Adelaide.." he said, a hand moving out, touching over her hand. "Please.. do not keep things from me. I care for you.. truly and deeply." His eyes sought hers, and if he could squeeze her hand he would.

"Lets to talk with your Father. Surely someone can help."

"I wasn't," Addie protested quickly. "I mean, I wasn't trying to keep anything from you, it...I just..."

She trailed off, looking down at where his hand hovered over hers. Biting her lip to keep it from quivering, she shook her head quickly. "Right. Let's go find Da."

He nodded, his hand going through the motion of squeezing her hand.

"You don't need to explain. I understand."

And he moved with her towards the tent. And he felt anxious.. uncertain...

Could anyone truly help? His situation  was so strange. But he had to be optimistic. He got solid once before.. clearly it meant he could do it again.

Addie glanced down at where his hand was almost-but-not-quite touching hers, and her chest constricted painfully. She tried to force it away and hurried along with him back to their tent.

"Da?" She stuck her head inside, but didn't see any sign of the Ringmaster. She looked back to Thomas and beckoned for him to follow her inside. "C'mon. He should be back soon, we can...wait inside."

Thomas silently followed. His mind was in a jumble of thoughts. The very real thought that he could come back.. take on a physical form lifted his hopes but... what did it all mean?

If he were a ghost... truly dead and just a spirit.. would his spirit not be able to return to his body in this way?

There were far too many questions and little answers. For who would rightly know? This seemed a fluke... a phenomenon. He'd never heard of legends or stories of people becoming ghosts that returned to themselves.

He wondered if something fouler was at play. 

He looked to Adelaide, who fretted openly and he moved to her side.

"I am sorry, Adelaide. I hadn't meant to hurt you over all of this. But I meant every word of how I feel for you."

"Oh!" Adelaide blinked at him, momentarily startled by the apology. Her face softened and she reached out, hesitated, then committed to the gesture and let her hand hover just above his cheek. A ghost of touch.

"Don't apologize," she whispered, trying to smile. "Thomas, none of this is your fault. And--" She swallowed. "I...meant what I said, too. We'll figure this out, I promise."

She couldn't allow herself to think that they wouldn't.

Thomas smiled. He had to hope. They had to hope. It couldn't have been just a fluke that he returned to flesh...

Had something triggered it? Was something pulling him back to life? He turned to Adelaide suddenly and asked, grabbing her if he could.

"Kiss me... or.. try to kiss me. Please."
Those blue eyes were imploring. 

Maybe.. maybe she was his key.

"Thomas..." Her throat went tight and her eyes began to well. She swallowed impulsively. "I--I don't..."

It would just hurt more. She knew it would, but...

Slowly, terrified, she reached up until her palms were hovering just a hair's breadth from his cheeks and leaned up onto her toes, bringing her mouth to his--or as close as she could manage in his current state.

And as she suspected, she'd be kissing air. Thomas stood there, eyes haunted with tears.  He knew it was a silly attempt.. but..
Part of him had hoped , like a fairy tale, it would have broken this 'spell '.

Adelaide shook her head, a new wave of tears tightening her throat. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I--I'm so sorry..."