(OOC: Mdu left so I have like 3 people to RP with right now and one of them is you)
As Celine made her way back to the ship, it was difficult to keep herself from crying. Randver didn't want to be with her. Randver didn't want to be with her? It shocked her. Randver not wanting to be with her was like a dog not wanting a bone. They'd been in love for at least a few years now. Her seeing him again was enough of a shock, but the fact that he didn't feel he could be with her shocked her even more.
She was so miserable that instead of going straight to the kitchen once she boarded the ship, she headed for her room, which was something she rarely if ever did. How could Randver play with her heart like that? He had talked about all he was willing to give up for her, and now he couldn't do it? What was wrong with him? She closed the door and flopped down on the bed. She wished she could die. At least no one had been around to see the break-up happen.
[You really should PM me about these things y'know. It's not really a habit of mine to check every board on the site so I'll ofttime miss something important unless you take it upon yourself to notify me]
Business was always abroad, that was the motto of the Eternal Rose for all the years of its existence and that was Willem's motto. He was never one to stay in one place; not even his marriage vows could keep him down (another regret for another fireside tale). The day drew in from his voyage to the nearest town along the shore of the Tuor Ocean. It was a nice seaport and he dropped off his various wares with his typical shrewd attitude and collected a tidy sum. Of course said sum would be placed in the storage section and had to be accounted for before it could be distributed amongst the crew.
All the time in their watery journey, Willem thought often of Celine, curious as to just where she might end up. He recalled to the moment they first met along the beach and how she said she would only stay until she found a suitable port to get off at. He admitted it only to himself, but he had grown rather fond of her during their time together. He was even considering making her a permanent addition to the crew if she accepted. He just wished he knew more about to her to completely make that proposal.
He relaxed leisurely in his office chair, called Fin to summon Celine to his office so that he may speak to her about...'sensitive matters'. With a nod the first mate departed off toward Celine's room. When he arrived he rapped his fist against the wood and spoke in a semi-commanding voice: "'Ey, Miss Celine, the Captain would like to have a word with you."
(OOC: OK, I'll try to remember next time. It was rather late when I posted.)
"All right, Fin. Thank you," she replied dully. She rose off the bed gingerly, in so much pain that even her muscles ached. It just wasn't fair.
Actually, now that she really thought about it, what was the point of getting off the ship? Now that Randver had rejected her, she was alone, and if she was alone physically as well, the memories she had of him would follow her wherever she went, haunting her. She would mention to the captain that something had come up. It should be easy enough to convince him to let her stay.
"Captain... I need to speak with you," she said once she was inside his office. "I was going to leave, but something happened and now I can't." Celine took a deep breath as everything started to hit her. The shock of seeing Randver, the shock of being accused of being a mage, her surprise to know that he wanted to be together, and then his backing away suddenly. "Something happened the last time we docked... and... I waited for you or the men to come and no one ever did."
Willem couldn't say he was expecting Celine to barge in like she did. She was polite however and that kept the anger at bay whilst he stood silently. The words came smoothly and were soft on his ears. And suddenly he realized he was focusing in on the sound of her voice instead of actually listening to what she was saying. Upon this revelation, he shook his head and smiled vaguely, his brown face faintly burning in the sight of his folly.
"Well," he nodded, walking around to the side of the desk and taking a seat atop it. "As always, there's an explanation for everything that goes upon this ship. And that fact would most likely because there was business to be done and the orders for the crew that stayed behind were to guard the ship. You were most likely left to your own devices and nary could a man be spared to accompany you."
His jaw hardened a bit as a faint fire burned deep into his eyes and he swallowed hard. "However, you lay an interesting point. I know that you're here as a guest, but I'm suddenly quite curious as to why you departed the ship? You say you wanted to leave but I was never notified of any notion. As captain, everything that goes on on this ship must pass under my scrutiny. I remember promising your safety but if you just leave the ship without prior notice, I can't help what might happen to you."
"I left because I wanted to take a walk along the shore, much the way you were doing when you found me," she explained. "But...it didn't turn out exactly as I'd planned. What did happen is probably not as bad as I made it sound, but definitely unexpected nonetheless. My former love, the one who set fire to my house, found me on the beach. He's a soldier in the Adelan army and he was looking for mages. There was a gremlin with him looking for mages- because he's blind- and the gremlin thought I was a mage. I'm not, of course, and never have been, but it was quite scary to be accused and I fainted. Then my former love explained that he had not been aiming at my house when he burned it...which is easy to believe considering he's blind, but even now I'm in shock. Long story short, he said he wanted to be with me again, but he was just using me. I figure if I am never alone, then I can heal from this shock more quickly than if I am left to my own devices."
Celine wasn't exactly angry, just frank and honest. "If someone had been there, I might not have fainted. At the very least, someone could have caught me...."
He couldn't help but feel his visage change in the face of her elaboration. The tale was strangely put together: her old lover, a blind one at that, managed to find her again and suddenly took her without prior knowledge. When she finished, he nodded in understanding and his face soften. "I see. Well, in that case you have my sincerest apologies Miss Domremy. I had no idea. You old lover, I presume, is gone now then?"
He slid off the desk and approached her, standing to his full five feet ten inches. "I'm sorry, Celine. But no one knows better than I the futility of wishing for a second chance. Time is a cruel mistress. Yet, had I been there, I would have helped you. Forgive me, please."
"Of course you're forgiven," she whispered, her voice almost uncharacteristically soft. "I don't expect, or want, someone to have to watch my every move. But... just... it would have been nice, that's all. Just the once. I was so scared-"
Her breath hitched and she looked at him in panic. Her face had gone white again just thinking about what she had been through. It was another moment or two before she could breathe easily again. When Celine had managed to compose herself, however, she looked quite embarrassed, although her face was still pale.
"I almost forgot, Captain. What did you want to see me about? Fin said it was a personal matter."
The vague heat from her embarrassment was not lost on him. For a fire conjurer and manipulator, Willem could sense heat like a fly could sense wind. Still he smiled softly and backed away to the desk, merely nodded in acknowledgment of the awkwardness of their current situation. Well, if there would be hits, it could be expected that there would be misses at some times as well.
The captain of the Eternal Rose, cleared his throat and looked her with sincerity, humor dancing in his eyes. "Well, yes, what I wanted to speak to you about was rather important, but not so much a personal matter," he replied with a grin beneath his groomed facial hair. "I was wondering, since most of the men will be taking a break and not crowding your kitchens, if you wouldn't mind having dinner with me this evening? There is a matter I'd like to discuss with you that I would like to disclose in a more...comfortable environment. That is...if you would accept."
"That would be nice, Captain. After what happened this afternoon, I feel like I need to relax a little," Celine admitted. "I'm a little...panicky at the moment," she said, struggling for words. "It's difficult to experience a shock like this without suffering for it. But after I've cooked dinner, where would you like to go?"
Celine suddenly wished she had some prettier clothes. She'd been wearing the same dress every day since she'd arrived. She supposed she could make up for her lack of clothing in other ways, but still. She'd had no idea he was going to ask her to dinner.
Little did Celine know that Willem had thought way ahead of her. Indeed he was a merchant and his wares ranged from foodstuffs to weapons to elegant clothing. Why, just this moment he had instructed Fin to lay out one of the dresses from their stock as a personal gift to her. Despite his lack of patience, Willem was quite resourceful.
He laughed slightly, his dimple showing again and as prominent as ever. "You don't have to worry about dinner. I don't think it would be fit if you had to cook the same meal you were going to relax with. No, Barto is preparing it as we speak. You should return to your room and ready for the event. There's a gift there waiting for you and plenty of women wares from which you might find useful. When you are ready, meet me up on deck. I'll be waiting for you."
After she'd cooked dinner for the men, Celine went to her room to get ready for her dinner with the Captain. She couldn't help it; when she opened the door and saw the new dress, an excited squeal left her. She wasted no time putting it on. She also found a few perfumes, a pair of slippers, and a pretty wooden comb with a flower design for her hair.
When she came up onto the deck, she smelled lightly of just about every flower one could name. She had put her hair in a twist, held in place by the comb, and she was wearing the slippers, walking slowly so she could make sure they were still there. Even though the Captain had clarified and said it wasn't exactly a personal matter, she couldn't help wanting to know what he would think when he saw her like this.
"Hello?" she called as she ascended the deck. "I'm here, Captain. I hope I look presentable now."
The truth was that even in Adela, Celine had been a peasant. She had never felt-or looked- so pretty in her life as she did right at that moment. The dark green color of the dress and slippers offset her dark hair and eyes quite nicely compared to her plain brown or black ones at home, and she'd never even been able to think of owning the perfumes she now wore. She hadn't been able to decide on just one, so she'd worn a bit of all three.
Willem had spent time dressing when Celine departed, changing his clothes into a much finer suit. A white silk shirt embraced his upper body while a black waistcoat wrapped around that, with full length trousers and black varnished boots. There was more too it than that but, other than fixing his hair suitably and grooming his beard properly. It was only an half an hour later that he was ready and headed on out to the deck.
When he got there, a table was already set for them. However, he noticed that she had not arrived yet and therefore he sat and waited patiently. This evening the moon shone beautifully on the water as the ship drifted gently. It was not long in his admiration of the things around him that he snapped his attention toward a familiar voice.
He stood immediately and walked forward a bit, bowing like a gentleman should as she approached. When he looked up he smiled charmingly and replied, "And never has a more beautiful woman graced this ship. You look lovely Miss Domremy."
"Thank you, Captain," she replied, curtsying. "What was it you wanted to see me about?" She stood by her chair, waiting. Celine knew that she could pull it out herself, but she also knew that Willem was so charming he would probably want to pull it out for her. She had not missed the way he smiled at her, or the way his silk shirt embraced his chest.
Blushing a little, she tried to avoid his eyes, but somehow, she couldn't pull herself away from them. They were such lovely eyes....
And then she smelled the food. That was enough to snap her out of her reverie and make her realize how hungry she was. "It smells delicious, doesn't it?"
Willem did as could be expected of him and pulled out the chair for Celine, allowing her to sit. Though he had to admit that she was beautiful in her appearance he found her gaze strangely disconcerting. No woman had actually ever blatantly looked at him the way she did at that moment. Well not since his wife died...
He forced a congenial grin and nodded in agreement. "Oh, I certainly think so as well. Barto does a fine job when it comes to my personal meals and I instructed him that no lady should eat the slop of a sailor but a fine meal. And that's just what you are Miss Domremy, a fine lady."
A gently laugh bounced in his throat in a friendly manner as he took his own seat. "I know it may seem unusual to go through all this trouble for a simple matter of discussion but I'd rather I have a chance to get to know more of you. A "one on one" so to speak. What kind of idea, Miss, do you have of me? What is your impression of who I am?"
Celine was floored. How was she supposed to answer a question like that-truthfully, anyway- without revealing that she might have a crush?
"I've never met anyone like you, Captain. You intrigue me. You're rugged and manly, but you haven't lost your charm. You dress very well for someone who's out on the sea every day. Some of the others scarcely bathe. And while it might seem that you open up to very few...I think that might be a good thing, in some ways. It shows that you treasure what relationships you do have. You don't take them lightly, unlike some people I know."
She couldn't help the sadness that filled her eyes then. "Do you know what that's like? To have someone say they love you and want to be with you, and then just leave without taking you with them?"Celine could only look at him miserably. "I know you would never do that."
Well now she'd done it. What would he think of her now?
Now the situation had become painfully personal. He went wide-eyed for a second—quick enough to not have Celine view such an embarrassing act—and swallowed hard against a suddenly dry throat. He was silent for a moment, taking a glance at the moon and food before gathering the gumption to look her in the eye.
When he did, he gave a trying smile and scratched the hair on his chin in thought. "You flatter me, Miss Domremy. But you need not do so. And please call me Willem. The rest of the crew do well enough with the term Captain, I think it's too salty a word for such a beautiful woman to utter."
He reached for his utensils and played with the food on his plate for a while before shoving a few bites in his mouth. Chewing carefully, he closed his eyes in thought as if a painful presence suddenly consumed him, ready to tear him apart. And yet as he opened them there was but a flash of that pain before he smiled again and joy replaced it.
"You drive a hard conversation, Miss Domremy. But I do know, in a sense, of what you convey. There has only been one other person who had ever done such a thing to me, other than my father but those were for reasons I completely understand. I was born in Connlaoth and in the first few years of my adolescence I had developed certain...abnormalities. My father, fearing for my life, asked that leave the country and I did. It broke my heart that my own blood refused me but I knew why he did it. He rather have a son in exile than a dead one; I know I would have done the same thing in his situation.
"The years afterward were tumultuous, a blur. And I don't think I'd like to remember them. Despite the love I had for my wife and vice versa, I don't think she would have wanted me to go with her." A somber cloud befell him and still he gazed up at Celine with glowing eyes; eyes that still burned with the ashes of his old life.
"Of course I must flatter you, Willem. You know everything I am saying is true, don't you?" she asked with a gentle smile.
Then the expression on Celine's face changed as she heard his tale. She would have never expected to hear the things he told her about his father and his wife.
"I'm not going to lie, Willem. I didn't think you would actually tell me. That's another thing about you, you're a good secret-keeper... sometimes too good. I don't know how you've survived with the things you have bottled up inside of you. But I have nothing but empathy for you. Forgive me if this sounds... a bit forward, but did you ever think of starting over? I mean...I need to start over, too. I just don't know how."
Celine had no embarrassment this time. There was nothing to be embarrassed about. But being so painfully honest was beginning to take its toll. Quite unexpectedly, Celine's breath hitched and her eyes welled with tears.
"Can one ever suffer so much that they can't start over?" she whispered.
Willem felt his cheeks grow warm in a faint blush in the face of her comments. His smile grew wider from his former somber sentience, but the recovery was welcomed. He listened intently, nodded in the right places and keeping his vigilance from waving to the food below. The evening drew in and the deck was quiet as the ship lingered along the waters. A soft wind blew through the fieriness of Willem's hair and he stifled a shiver as she finished her words.
"I must be honest: I didn't think that I could either. You see, I was nineteen then, young and naïve and eager to marry Amelina. She was a middle-class daughter of a bar owner. Apparently he approved of me right away and so we wed without much adieu. We were married for roughly two years and I was away at sea for several months when I suddenly received a letter." He felt his chest beginning to get hot but strove on with his tail, keeping his eyes on the table and away from Celine. "It was from my father-in-law, telling me that my wife was sick. I rushed home as soon as I could, taking every fierce wind and storm that would carry my sails faster. But when I got there...I was too late. She had passed a week before I got there."
He paused and considered her next question. Looking back at her he saw that her eyes had welled. Gently he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a soft and freshly clean handkerchief in which he handed to her. "Here. Use this. I can tell this is a sensitive subject for you. As for me, I've done my coping. A lot can happen in a year, even the act of recovering from the loss of loved ones," he lied expertly. Of course, he hadn't recovered. For all the loved that burned in his heart for Amelina, how could the flame attempt to reignite for another when the ashes were still wet with tears?
Still, he continued with his speech. "Don't give up hope Miss Domremy, there's always recover. I don't know if it counts for anything but you mean a great deal to me, and to the crew. And, well this is what I really wanted to discuss with you, I would like for you to stay here with me on the Eternal Rose, permanently."
Celine sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I'd like that, Willem, really, but...you're sure? I mean...I haven't been too much of a bother?" She was the only woman, after all. She had to ask for her own peace of mind.
For what? she wanted to add, but didn't. If she confessed her slowly growing feelings for him and he rejected her, she'd be right back in the pit of despair that he was currently trying to pull her out of.
Then again, there were others. None of the men were quite like him of course, but there were others she could see herself being happy with. She suspected that this might be part of Willem's reasoning, and accepted that he might be trying to help her. Plus, the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, or so her mother had said, and she knew he liked her cooking, so maybe it was just a matter of time. And even if not, even if she never found love again, ever, she had grown to like it here.
That was reason enough to stay. The men could be her family now. If they all cared about her as much as Willem seemed to, they would make fine big brothers. She did miss her older brother Leon so, and she didn't really have a father figure anymore, although being that Barto liked to work with his hands, he reminded her of her father a great deal. She would have to tell him that, sometime.
"If you're sure about it, then I'd love to."
He nodded in accord. "I believe the men would be happy to hear that you would be joining the crew. You need not fear for I chose only the most loyal men in all of Le'ranna to join my ship and none would dare go against my will. I promised your safety aboard when we first met, if I remember correctly, and they have grown to care for you. Seems you being the only woman aboard wasn't a detriment at all." He laughed slightly and reached for her hand, a gesture meant to assure his sincerity. "We need someone like you aboard; you're just the addition to help us in our travels."
With that he stood, rising from his chair with lean, long legs, and gently prompted Celine to follow him to the railing of the starboard side. "Come. Do you know what it is about the sea that I love the most? The freedom, the view, the power that you feel when you're the master of the ocean. The first of my two loves, the sea was my home away from home for years, starting from when I was fifteen. I sailed far and wide, there was nothing I couldn't do...and I forced myself to believe that that's what I had always wanted; just me and my crew. Such feelings are the result of adventure and young machismo and fade quickly. Then it just felt empty, within. But now, it doesn't seem so empty anymore. Do you know what I mean?" Willem looked to Celine imploringly and hoped that she would.
"I'm not sure I do, but I hope so. You mean that you'd miss me, right?" she asked.
Unless he meant that he might be falling for her, she had no idea what else he could mean. But he'd just told her that he'd only gotten to be married for two years. That wasn't much time, and it wasn't fair of her to think that he'd had enough time to mourn that. It was only that she wanted to be loved so much, even a little. Everyone she'd loved before was gone and she would never see them again.
"Unless you mean something else... and that's what I'm afraid to bring up. The something else. But never mind that."
The intricacies of Willem's mind were little understood by anyone, only himself. Perhaps it was that trait that he refused to divulge the cause of his internal grief for the year past; he felt that no one would understand, not even his closest friends. There was no love in his life now and despite his growing admiration for Celine, he was cautious as to whether or not he could trust himself to love her, to care for her. Maybe there was a light somewhere in his forest of hurt. Perhaps it was closer than he thought.
"Something like that, yes." He nodded and braced her warm hand against his, holding it like a small beautiful bird that was about to fly away. It held a pleasant weight against his own larger, sea worn ones. His own brown hands were callused in the right places but were gentle despite their appearance. It seemed nothing was as it seemed before.
He looked up at her and asked in a curious tone, "What did you want to say? Something to tell me?"
"Yes." He looked so innocent to her in that moment that it hurt Celine to want to tell him. His hands were so gentle as they covered her smaller one, as if it were the most delicate thing in the world, ever. She wanted it to never end, but she knew it wasn't fair of her to love him when he had lost his first love. He and Amelina had had so little time together.
"It's just that...everyone I have loved before is gone. My family and my other love, the one who found me on the shore are gone from my life forever. I will never see them again, and the knowledge hurts me. And yet...I thought maybe there was a little hope when I met you. I thought maybe I could be loved again. I think... forgive me, but I think I could not be faulted for wanting it, after losing my entire family.
But now, after hearing about your wife, I see that you are still in love with her. You had so little time together. It is completely understandable that you still love her. I don't think it is fair of me to want to love you, and I'm ashamed of myself for intruding on your grief. I'm sorry that I think I might love you and I shouldn't."
Celine couldn't bear to see his reaction, so she closed her eyes, but she had to go on. She had to tell him why she felt this way.
"You remind me a great deal of my brother Leon, although your hair is a different color. You're the same age, I would guess, as he was when he died. He was 24. And although your passions are different- his was woodworking, like my father- the exuberance and skill is the same. I look at you, Willem, and I think, how could someone still have passion for anything after their world has crumbled? But now that I really allow myself to remember, Leon was the same way. Whenever he was sad or angry, he would go to the furniture shop with my father, just the way you turn to the sea. We often gravitate toward our passions when we're upset, don't we? But just because you remind me of my brother doesn't mean I think I love you like a brother... if you get my meaning. There are differences, too. But I thought I would tell you that because it explains how this all started for me."
Even the greatest of men could be broken. From the legends of the fallen god Umbra to the strongest of sea vessels, all have been breached in their own time and taken over by forces greater than they knew. And Willem's time was fast approaching though the sea waves were slow and languid. Yet even the smallest wave can become a tsunami.
From averting his gaze to the water below, Willem listened to the soft musicality of her voice. It was like the sweet sound of the violin as it cried out for its lost lover only far great in it her ability to grip at his soul. A serenade of a thousand sirens, Willem was only perked up when he heard that peculiar word that struck him as would a dark blade, 'love'. He peered upward, his visage curious and only vaguely distraught, "Love me? You think you could love me?"
Was he delirious or had his ears truly picked up what he thought she said? Was she falling in love with him? That light that once seemed so bleak now shone and flashed intermittently as she persisted in her words. She had compared him to her brother, whom she called Leon, and ascertained that she could be more to him than a friend—a lover. It seemed all too surreal this event and he felt himself being drawn nearer to her and when they were face to face, but a few inches away, he finally summoned his will to speak.
"Pain is a driving force, Celine. It brings one to die, suffer, and perish. But it can also allow one to redouble their resolve and allow them to gather the strength to live. And though the memory of my wife is with me, I think she'd want me to continue to live albeit she cannot accompany me on that journey.
"I-I feel different when I'm around you, Celine. Be it love, or otherwise, I feel it so strongly that I feel drawn to you now. You patch... pieces into the shredded fabric of my life. You are beautiful to me." And with that he leaned in and slowly kissed softly upon the lips.
She reciprocated eagerly. She had so much love to give, so much love that she had never been able to show anyone. When their kiss ended, she looked at him closely, her smile warm. He'd not been kidding. It was all right, he was going to move on.
And she wasn't kidding, either.
"Yes, I really said I think I could love you, Willem. You patch my shredded pieces, too. And no one has ever called me beautiful to them, but it seems right for you to call me that. You're handsome to me." Carefully, Celine ran her fingertips over his cheek, finding the dimple his face made when he smiled, and touched it gently. She chuckled at herself for her thoughts of earlier, the first night they'd met, about how she had been nervous to kiss a man with a beard. Kissing a man with a beard wasn't that bad. A little rough, maybe, but she did like it. It made him seem more manly, somehow.
"What do you think, Willem? Is it all right for me to love you?" she whispered.
"Aye, milady. If not for eternity then for the rest of my life. If you can bring yourself to love me then I think I should be capable of surmounting my own grief. I could, in turn, find myself loving you as well."
He leaned in again and kissed her once more. Her lips were soft on his and her mouth warm and such warm moisture was enough to send pleasant shivers down his spine. Electricity zapped at his fingertips and he thusly released her hands. Instead he pulled them around her form, holding her against his sinewy torso. He deepened the kiss and for all the life left in him, it waxed more passionate than any other in his life.
And when it was over he pulled away slightly, catching his breath, he whispered softly, "What now?"
"Anything you wish," she murmured, loving the feel of him holding her. "Anything at all." The truth was, she was a little breathless from the kiss as well. "No one has ever kissed me like that before..."
Celine pressed herself against him. Anything they did, she knew she would love. Just being in his arms like this was amazing. "I could grow used to this very quickly," she whispered as she lay her head against him. "I want this to be a night we'll both never forget."
She knew she would never forget it already. He'd said it was all right for her to love him, and that was enough.
Or was it?
How long had it been since she'd slept in someone's arms? How long had it been since she'd slept at all? Though she'd managed to look well enough tonight, she knew that Willem might still notice the horrible bags under her eyes.
"I want this to be a night where I will actually sleep, without fear of anything. I don't want to be afraid anymore. Just...make me tired. I don't care what we do. I just need to sleep afterward." She knew of only one thing that would make her tired afterward, but she didn't want him to if he wasn't ready. Celine looked into his eyes, trying to judge if that was what he wanted or not.
He nodded to her words, each phrase receiving an inch more on the wall she breached. For what felt like years—though in reality was only a single year—of building his defenses, here she was taking it down brick by brick and doing so little to actually accomplish this. For in this, such a feat he found amazing and therefore added to the admiration he held for her.
She wanted rest and he wanted peace. Perhaps he had found it, only this night would tell. And he was just about ready to venture down that journey. But with only a single step and his path would open, yet Willem still shook with hesitancy. Should he? Take the jump, man. There's no harm that can come of it. In time, your peace will be permanent, his conscience eased his nervousness.
Now sure of himself, he held her close to him and walked with her down from the deck to the inside of the ship, past the stock rooms and the quiet sleeping quarters where his men were surely lying sound asleep. He would not disturb them, for he knew not even cannon fire could wake a man who'd fallen dead asleep after a hard day's work. Before he could stop his heart from leaping into his throat, he stopped dead at the door to his quarters. "Are you sure about this?" He turned back to Celine before he opened the door.
She looked into his eyes as they changed. He seemed more sure of himself now. "Yes, my love. I am," she whispered. Celine trailed light kisses from his cheeks to his lips, and a certain thrill went through her as she realized he probably wasn't going to leave. She was a little uncertain when it came to the buttons on his shirt, though. Being that centaurs did not wear clothes, she'd never had to deal with those with Randver. Celine's hands shook and she looked at Willem pleadingly for a moment before resting her head against him. After a few deep breaths, her hands no longer shook and she was able to remove his shirt. Then she trailed kisses the rest of the way down before going any further. "It'll be unforgettable, Willem. I promise."
(OOC: I don't really want to play this out right now, nor do I really have the time, so I'm skipping to later.)
Celine curled against Willem like a contented cat who has just found a lap to sit in, her arms around his neck, every curve of her body fitting perfectly against his. It truly had been amazing, at least for her. She sighed one last happy sigh, kissing him on the cheek. "Good night Willem," she said softly, pillowing her head on his chest.
And that night, something amazing happened, something that hadn't happened in over a year. Celine Domremy actually slept the whole night through without waking once. If she had woken, she would have felt confident that Willem would have comforted her, but perhaps it was exactly that assurance that caused her not to wake. She wasn't alone anymore; she felt happy and fulfilled.
[Oh, no problem.]
Hesitancy emerged like prey to a water-snake: it was dangerous to both cross the river as well as to put oneself in harm's way of predators below. Yet, Willem was a sea Captain and bravery was a must; he'd survived hurricanes, he could undoubtedly bring himself to love Celine. There were ways to excavate one out of their own defenses for eventually their own fortress could be used as a trap.
He returned her gestures, letting himself go in the process and relaxing as the night lingered on. And into the shadows they ventured, softened by a quiet darkness.
~
Yet while she slumbered soundly, seemingly reassured by his presence, there was a faint fire beginning to burn in his heart. And with it was the discomfort of his actions. He'd taken the plunge but was he truly sure of it! What, are you crazy!? his mind insisted, upbraiding him for such stupidity. You, a gentleman of sorts, dare to break the heart of a lady who called you her love? Amelina is dead and she would want you to be happy. Quell your fears, you're doing the right thing. And for a moment Willem felt at ease, even allowing himself to do so much as fall asleep right along side her. Yet still the flame burned in his chest.
Celine woke up the next morning still in Willem's bed, feeling more refreshed than she had in a long time, but the more she thought about what had happened last night, a sense of worry clouded her features. Had she known it, some of the same thoughts, in a different manner, that were plaguing Willem were plaguing her too.
She hadn't been lying when she called him her love. She did love him. But how disloyal to the memory of Randver had she been by making love to another man the very night after Randver had broken up with her? Was that wrong? And had she begun to have feelings for Willem even before she had seen Randver? If so, was that wrong too? Furthermore, Willem didn't know that Randver had been a centaur. Would he be disgusted by her when he learned she had been with a centaur before?
Though Willem's guilt might ease with time, Celine was sure hers never would. There was no way she and Randver would ever see each other again, so there was no way to find answers to any of those questions, except for the last one. But Celine wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer anyway. If Willem would be disgusted by her being with a centaur, could he ever learn to love her? If he said he wouldn't be disgusted by it, would that be a lie?
She wanted to find out, but she was afraid. She would wait on him to say something before she asked her questions.
Willem did not awaken to the usual sounds of creaking wood against the ocean waves but rather was shaken awake by the motion of the ship in water. They were sailing now and the soothing rocking had shaken his eyelids open from their comforting darkness. He found a body lying beside him, and, turning, found Celine's face wide awake and peering at him.
A smile graced his lips and he adjusted himself so that he could better face her. As if he forgot of his troubling and irrational thoughts of the night before, he let his grin take hold of him and allow him to ask softly, "Morning Celine. You slept well I presume?"
"I did," she said. allowing herself a smile. "Thanks to you, I did. " She kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for that. But...I've also been feeling some guilt, and honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again. First of all... I'm disgusted with myself. How dare I make love to another man the very night after I've been dumped? I know he didn't want me, but that gives me no reason to...to act so rashly. And I also wonder if I was disloyal to him by having stirrings of feelings for you before he dumped me. It was just that he never officially dumped me until he found me on the beach. When he left, angry, the day my house was burned, I thought that was the end, but apparently according to him it wasn't. So I was still with him when I met you, only how was I supposed to know? I wasn't lying when I said I loved you, but I do feel some guilt. "
Celine didn't want to, but she really doubted Willem would want to be near her after she made her last confession, so she forced herself to get out of bed. She still sat on the bed though, and looked at him.
"There's no easy way to say this, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I thought you might be disgusted by it, and I didn't want you to hate me, but hate me now if you must. My former love, Randver, was a centaur."
When she kissed him, he felt his cheeks burn in a blush and he smiled as well. However, what he heard next was nothing that he expected. It was a confession of sorts, a spilling of guilt and the things that plagued her since the happenings of last night. They had loved each other for a time albeit the fact that both of their hearts had once been broken.
When she finished with her first confession, he nodded and watched as she moved away from him. But it was the next fact of speech that she uttered was certainly one to cause surprise. His expression changed with brows raised and eyes wide (though it wasn't one of dislike). What exactly was he supposed to think of this? Yet even if this stood, he felt his visage transform into one of understanding.
"So," he said. "That certainly explains a lot about last night. I didn't think you could do those kinds of things." A lascivious grin curled at the corner of his lips and it seemed he was taking the news a lot better than she might have expected.
"Well, I'll admit, it takes a lot of agility, but the exercise wore me out and helped me sleep. You liked it then?" Celine asked, her eyes twinkling. "It's been over a year since I've done...things of that nature." The fact that he didn't seem to hate her gave her the courage to come close to him once more, and she smiled into his eyes.
"But there is also something else, Willem," she said after a moment, her eyes saddening again. A great weight was pressing on her chest and she felt as though she couldn't breathe properly.
"Since you have been so open with me about your wife, I feel as though I should tell you my guilt, too. I feel as though your guilt will ease with time, because last night, I thought I felt it begin to. But mine could never ease. When I came home after my fight with Randver to find my house burning, I did not go inside. I knew I could have been killed too. But I could have gone inside. I saw my ten-year-old sister, Raissa, standing there staring at me through the top floor window. Raissa was deaf, and she was signing furiously at me to do something. The next minute, the windows exploded and the whole house collapsed. You, at least, have the satisfaction of knowing that even if you didn't make it to your wife before she passed, you tried to get there. I did not even try. Almost the whole house was in flames by the time I had arrived, and my family, those who could, were screaming in pain. So I just watched my sister die and the house explode and I did nothing to try to save her. Even though the house burned quickly, I still feel like I should have tried." This time, there was no time for Celine to even try to compose herself. The weight on her chest was too great. "That's why I never sleep at night," she managed to say. Then she dissolved into tears.
A distant string of empathy reached out to Celine and he felt his heart wrench up inside him again at the mention of his wife's death once more, though the guilt that once plagued him for so long before was strangely merciful and light on his chest. There was no longer that painful gut plunging feeling that he got when he thought about her. And how quickly such feelings subsided were reason enough to be astounded.
And with sympathetic ears he listened to her tale and how she compared it to his own mistake of the past. She concluded that her situation was far worse and that she would never recover. And suddenly she burst into tears; this was not a situation he was expected to undergo but it was one he was prepared for. In an act of comfort, his once gruff expression was softened and he neared her, pulling her close to him. "I understand how you feel, Celine. But sometimes there are things that are beyond our control, phenomenon that surpass our understanding as human beings and even if we try to control them they will always thwart our every move.
"When I think of my wife, I get choked up inside that I find the idea of recovery an impossibility. I lied to myself, telling myself that I was fine when my life was falling apart around me. And even as I set the bricks back up, I had no cement for which to piece them together again. I was lost and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted to live but I couldn't do it without her, without someone I loved. I tried as hardest as I could to help her to get to her in time before she passed. But even in my efforts, she was destined to lose her precious life. Even now, I believe she wanted me there, but I have a faint hope that she forgives me for my failure."
Willem grasped her hands into his own, bracing them against his chest and then rested his forehead against her own. "It's not your fault, even if you didn't try. What could you have done? Perhaps, if you did dash into the fray, you might have been killed and you wouldn't have been alive to find me. Perhaps it was her time, like it was my wife's time. Now's the time for healing, for the both of us. And even though my loss still weighs heavy on my heart, I believe that you can help me. And I hope that I can help you. First we must forgive ourselves. Are you ready to take that first step?"
Celine felt Willem pull her close, and some small part of her was comforted when he put her hands against his chest and she felt his forehead touch hers. It was soothing to her, being this close to him. She listened to his words. It wasn't her fault even if she didn't try? That was a new idea, and she wasn't sure she believed it... but then he continued, saying that if she had tried to save her sister, she might not have found him.
An ironic smile turned up her lips. "That's true..." she managed. "And that would be a shame indeed. Yes, I'm ready to forgive myself. If I weren't, I don't think I would have told you about it. It will be hard, and I still might have flashbacks and bad dreams, but if we help each other, I believe we'll both be in a better place than we were before. Maybe, as you've said, you might even learn to love me. I think we both deserve new love. A new life, as it were." And this time, she was the one who kissed him gently on the lips.
He could have been set on fire at her touch. But this wasn't the case and he was as careful as possible in controlling the heat growing in his hands. Electricity tingled at the ends of his fingertips as they danced across her back. The words she uttered were sheer music to his ears and a smile graced him once more. "I see then. I think I'm ready now. I admit I've had my doubts but without that first step there'd be nothing left for me."
He welcomed her soft lips to his as they kissed, all the passion of his soul surrounding him in a heightening firestorm. But whilst he knew that passion could exist without love, he knew also that love couldn't exist without passion. The only possible exception was, perhaps, platonic love, but even such was supported by the ardent adoration for another and beneath burned a terrible love for them though shown only through glamorous smiles and frivolous waves.
Willem felt new horizons broaden for him and felt ready to take the plunge. He held her almost possessively and in him burned the soul that surrendered.
As he kissed her, gently but with passion, Celine felt him hold her tightly to him. How long had she wanted to be held like that? She wasn't sure, but it felt amazing. She felt the obvious but controlled electricity in his fingertips as he ran them across her back, and she shivered at his touch, snuggling deeper into the warmth of his embrace.
" I love you Willem..." she murmured. As he held her, she felt something different in his embrace. Was he actually surrendering to her love? She hoped so.
Only then did she realize they had not left his room. "Shall we, again?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes.
Already he was breathless as she pressed herself further into him. Again he squeezed her until the only space between them consisted of their flesh. Heartbeat raging, he kissed her harder, taking her into him.
And with breath ragged and mind hazy he tried a grin and muttered in her ear, "You read my mind."
Later, Celine lay in Willem's arms, still panting. She, too, managed a tired grin. "You were amazing," she purred. "You're so good for me." When the passion had cooled some, she looked at him with love in her eyes, a smile on her face, and lay stroking his face and hair with gentle fingers. "I won't soon forget what we've shared." In fact, he was so good for her that she felt she might never leave his room. "However, I am concerned now that I won't be able to leave. If I sleep alone, there is always the risk of a bad dream or a flashback."
As Fin strolled across the deck of the Eternal Rose, he found it a curious phenomenon that there wasn't a sigh nor a scent from Captain Gurwulf all morning. It was completely uncharacteristic of the Captain to sleep in all morning. What was more was that Celine too hadn't shown up for kitchen duty in the morning. Gods forbid the private evening awarded to them the night before went too far! Of course he had his suspicions but his job as First Mate was to keep the ship running in the Captain's absence, he was in no place to question Willem's methods.
Celine was the only woman aboard after all.
~
The few hours that commenced were as euphoric to Willem as discovering a fine jewel. For, in a sense, Celine had a sparkling effect on him that made him greedy. And that voracious twinkle could be found in his eyes as he looked at and she touched him gently. "You weren't so bad yourself, milady. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with you in the future. But in any case, I'll stay with throughout your rest. If you wake, I'll be here by your side. Don't worry."
Celine slept well, but only for a few minutes. Soon, she was back in that horrible world between dreams and reality. The fire seemed so real this time that she was able to feel its heat. This time, when she saw her sister at the window, she had a solution. "Raissa, jump, I'll catch you!" she screamed out, though she didn't realize that she was talking in her sleep. She was making the sign for "jump" furiously, over and over. But in her dreams, she still saw the house explode. With a terrified wail, she woke, panting again, except for a different reason than earlier. Now it was from fear. She felt as if she had just run several miles without stopping. "I should... have told her... to jump, " she managed.
In the hours that commenced, Willem was out of sleep. Even after they made love for a second time, there was a nagging insistence in his mind that he shouldn't rest. Whatever that was about he felt in the pit of his gut that he was about to find out.
So in the meantime he lay on his side, letting his heart relax as he watched her sleep. As fortune would have it, in all his year long celibacy he hadn't lost his touch; she was out like a rock. However, as he turned to lay on his other side he heard the whisperings of panic and he quickly rose from his position as Celine burst up in a delirium.
"Celine!" he spoke harshly trying to snap her out of her state. "Celine," he repeated as he nudged on her shoulder and then wrapped both of his hand around her face. "It's alright, everything's fine. What happened?"
"Willem..." she murmured as she felt his hands on her face. "It was so real. I know it was just a flashback, but it was so real." She couldn't stop the sobs that shook her entire body. "Now I know that what I should have done was to sign to my deaf sister that I would catch her if she jumped. But I didn't do that." She leaned against him, still sobbing, but trying to stop the trembling too. "It was so real that I could feel the heat from the fire. That's how real it was. And their screams...I can still hear them screaming. Do you know what it's like to hear people scream like that? It tears at my heart so that I feel there is a great monster clawing at it. This is what happens every time I have tried to sleep for the past year. But if I don't try to sleep, I'm going to die soon. I know I will, and it will not be because I want to, but because my body will give out from sheer exhaustion. I don't know how I've survived a year like this already." Celine clung to Willem fiercely. "Please don't let me die, Willem, even if it means I can't ever sleep alone again. Please..." There was still life in Celine's eyes. It was a fading life, growing weaker from her lack of sleep, but it would be enough to let him know that she wanted to live.
"I don't want to die, so I force myself to try to sleep for a few hours every night. Maybe now that I've actually had a flashback and you know what they're like, you can help me. But when I have had one before, I've kept it to myself because I don't want to wake anyone. I'd almost rather die than bother someone and have them get angry. Almost, but not anymore. Not now that I've seen how much there is to live for." She leaned against him, still trembling, not because she was afraid of him, but because she was afraid of herself. She, too, had a habit of keeping secrets for a long time. Not everything, of course, but the really big things, like this. It had almost come to the point of killing her this time because she had been afraid to share her secret.
The panic she exhibited before was only the brush of it all. Like an iceberg in the oceans of Hyoite, there was more beneath her surface. She burst into tears and begged him to save her, but she was sputtering her words out more quickly than he thought. Still, in an effort to comfort her, he held onto her, letting her spill her emotions until they had all been released. He knew the dangers of letting such emotions build up inside a person until they just explode. Perhaps this was that moment for Celine.
When she calmed down, he wrapped his arms over her shoulders and held her carefully as if she were a precious object that oughtn't to be broken. For in his senses, he found her fragile like this and wanted to do nothing that would cause her to snap. A tear touched at the corner of his eye as the words that she would die spun around in his head as if caught in a tempest. He stroked her head and kissed her forehead, whispering as he held her, "Nothing bad is going to happen to you. I'll protect you, didn't I promise that I would? You'll be safe as long as you're in my arms. I love you, Celine. I don't want to lose you like I lost Amelina. Gather your strength and stay with me."
It seemed to Celine that her trembling would never stop, but finally, it did. She snuggled closer into Willem as he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. Her breathing slowed and she almost felt like going to sleep again.
But not yet.
Had she just heard him say he loved her? Her head came up in surprise. She didn't think it would happen so quickly. But he was holding her so gently, like she would break. Like she was the most precious thing that still existed on Earth to him. It had to be true. Celine made up her mind then and there, with all the strength she had left, that she would never question it.
"I love you too," she whispered, her voice still weak from crying. She kissed him softly on the cheek, then fell asleep again, her damp cheek pillowed on his warm chest, soothed by the beating of his heart against her ear.
(OOC: So now that they love each other, what now?)
Willem paused in his comforting as Celine settled down beside him. He was momentarily stunned at what he just uttered and was still as stone as she kissed him on the cheek and went back to sleep. But he could not follow suit.
Had he really said that he loved her? It wasn't until he realized that it wasn't a lie that he relaxed a little. He really did say it and moreover he meant it with all his heart. How could he have done so so quickly? That was a mystery to him but he must have loved her the whole time, it just took him so long to realize that this was the time to move on away from the memory and loss of Amelina. Perhaps it was the fact that he wanted to be free of his grief for so long that his subconscious finally to it upon itself that he should love her. Whatever the case he did.
And now that that was decided, he could rest easy and take the toll of a new love once he'd awaken the following day.
[Okay now's a good moment to skip ahead in time if you'd like. Just something like: ~~Three months later~~]
~~Three months later~~
Celine's recovery of her strength was very slow. One didn't catch up on missing a year of sleep overnight, especially not when the sleep was occasionally interrupted by a flashback. But even though there were times when she had to take a nap in the middle of the day in order to be able to cook dinner in the evening, she had the comfort of knowing that even though Willem probably couldn't always be with her, if she called him, he would likely come running. Fin probably did more than his share of running the ship in the first few weeks after Celine joined the crew, but she hoped he didn't hate her for it. In fact, sometimes she took extra measures to make sure he wouldn't, such as slipping him extra dessert if one of the other crew members was too full to eat it.
After a few weeks though, the horrible dreams began to occur less often. She never got to the point where they were completely gone, but she could go for weeks at a time without them, which gave her the energy to focus on other things.
Things like the crew members. She wondered if they were aware of the romance between herself and Willem. Did they wish she had fallen for one of them instead? Other thoughts on her mind included her and Willem's future together.
Celine had always hoped she would become a mother, but with Randver, she had been terrified at the thought of giving birth to a child that would be almost bigger than her. Even then, Celine would like to have married him. Now, with Willem, she wasn't so scared about having a baby, but she'd still like to be married before it arrived, if one did. But how was that possible? Surely they couldn't be married on the ship. There would be no one there to perform a wedding... if he wanted to marry her at all.
That, too, bothered her. Not their marriage, per se, but the thought of him not wanting to marry her. Then she mentally kicked herself. They'd only been officially in love for three months. What was she doing, thinking about marriage already? Still, she'd love to know what he thought of the idea. It wouldn't be right away of course, but eventually, she'd love to get married.
Willem held onto the glistening ring on the chain absently as he sat in his office. There were two of them, one he kept in an envelope in a safe somewhere and the one here he fingered gently. This was his wife's ring, one that he slipped off her finger as the final token of her memory and one that never intended on using again. Well, that was three months ago.
Now, his mind was seriously intent on utilizing such an object again, just not this one. He loved Celine with the whole of his human heart but wasn't sure yet what to make of that love. Was he going to propose to her? So soon? He shook his head to himself in uncertainty before a knock at his door caused him to quickly slip away the chained ring into a drawer in his desk. Clearing his throat, he called the other in.
It was Fin, to no surprise who entered to ask a few questions regarding their shipment and what direction to instruct the men to go. It was only when the First Mate turned was Willem's attention turned back to him with a most startling question. "So, Cap'm, how's Celine doin' lately?"
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, how is she? She okay? I heard some screaming coming from your room a few nights ago and I thought there might be trouble aboard?"
Willem's face suddenly turned beat red in embarrassment. "So you know now, huh?"
"Yessir. Whole crew knows 'bout you and Miss Domremy. But don't worry about dissent, Cap'm. We understand...y'know wit you losin' your wife an' all. I took care of everything."
"Err...thank you?"
"No problem, Cap'm. Will there be anything else you'll be needin' from me today?"
"Uh, no, Fin. You may go."
"Aye, sir."
The few seconds of embarrassment soon passed and Willem sighed a wave a relief. A moments later, he appeared out on the deck of the ship as the sun was now preparing to cast itself beneath the horizon once more, spewing colors in its wake. With brown cloak draped royally over his shoulders, he walked toward the railing to peer out at the waves he'd loved all his life.
Celine was there, too, not for the waves but for the sunset. Its pretty colors always gave her something to think about before she went to sleep. "Wow, nice sunset tonight, hmm?" she asked as he went by. She noticed that he looked slightly preoccupied, at least to her, and wondered what that was about. Absently, she wondered if the same thoughts that were going through her head right now were going through his.
"I hope for one as pretty on my wedding night," she said with a smile, then yawned and realized that she was still so tired she almost wasn't sure what she'd said. She was more worried about him than herself right now.
"Do you think the crew knows? Is that why you look so preoccupied?" Her eyes were full of worry and love. Mostly love, though. "I think about that too, but..."
Celine lost her words, then, and she realized that she had nothing to say to him regarding that. Perhaps knowing that she shared his concerns would be enough, though.
"Please, try not to worry?" she asked, kissing his cheek. "When I see someone looking the way you do right now, it makes me wonder if something is wrong, and I'm still so tired even after three months that I can't afford to waste unnecessary energy. I love you."
Had he known, though, much of what Celine considered "necessary energy," was spent thinking about their future together.
"I'm not worried," Willem said, shaking his head as he kept his eyes on the water. "I'm just...thinking. They say that when a man is quiet he is often deep in thought. I think that if a man is intelligent he will think in silence, but an unintelligent will just have a blank slate. What do you think?"
He glanced at her and smiled a little as she kissed his cheek. "The crew doesn't think very much in my opinion. Not because they're not smart, but because their job doesn't require so much thought. So, really it doesn't matter whether they know or not does it?"
Sighing, he pressed on and resumed his vigilance upon the ocean, "Fin told me they do know. But he takes care of everything when I need a break and for that I thank him. We'll be okay, right?" He looked at expectantly as if he half-believed she would walk away from him in his nonsense. But she was unpredictable and that was an aspect he loved about her.
"Yes, of course we'll be okay," she whispered. "Truthfully, I'm glad you asked me to stay all these months ago because otherwise I would probably have been with another man who had to leave me quite often for his job. Now we'll always be together, and that's the best part."
Celine took a deep breath. "I tend to agree. Intelligent people think in silence. How else could the old-Earth philosopher have said, 'I think, therefore I am,' if he had no silence in which to think? If there is noise, one can't think. But what does an intelligent man such as yourself think about in the silence?" she had to ask. "Do you think of getting married again, maybe having a few children? I'd like that, someday...to get married and have children." She smiled as she thought of little brown haired girls and red haired boys, or maybe the other way around. Either way, they'd be beautiful. "They'd be kings and queens of the sea, at home in it, like we are. Can't you picture it?"
And for the first time in a long time, almost longer than she could remember, Celine laughed. She laughed as if she were watching something funny happen, and yet only she could see it. That was what thinking of being a mother brought her...laughter. She knew there would be times her children could annoy or worry her, but now, she thought only of the laughter. Celine had all but lost her ability to laugh when her family died, and it would have been the first time Willem had heard her laugh when she was truly happy.
He looked at her with surprise glowing in his eyes. A smile tugged at the corners of mouth, his fine mustache spreading across. "Marriage? Children? I don't know if I'm ready so soon. I know I love you but now is the time for just us... That doesn't mean that tomorrow I won't get down on one knee." He leaned down and kissed Celine on the forehead and stroked her head.
"But I understand how you feel. Our young will be the masters of the ocean. I won't take no for an answer." He laughed a little at this. "Won't they the most beautiful children of the world... Did you know Celine, that I never had children of my own? I'm not quite sure I'd make a nice father, with my temper and all."
"You would," she said gently. "You'd make an excellent father. I've never even seen your temper, so I know you could be gentle with them too, and who knows, it might come in handy when they're being rowdy. The secret to tempers is not that you have one, but that you know when to control it." Celine buried her face in him, just glad he hadn't said no. At least, if they did have children, she'd have that with him. She wouldn't be his first wife, but she might have his first child. It wasn't that she needed proof of his love, exactly, but it didn't hurt that this would be something new, shared only by the two of them.
"Besides, they'd be spoiled rotten by every man on the ship, I'll bet. You wouldn't be alone trying to be a father. You'd have help, from all of them and especially me. And you're right, they'd be the most beautiful children in the world because they were ours. Only I hope that they would look like you. I'm plain looking and I've always known it," said Celine with a chuckle. "In fact, the only time I've ever felt pretty was when you gave me that dress." She wasn't trying to make him pity her, just stating the facts. "But I think I fell in love with you way before the dress, though I can't say exactly how or where."
"Why do you lie?" Willem remarked rhetorically with a smile. "You are very beautiful. To me and to many others. Just the other day Barto told me how much you reminded him of his daughter. She looked like you I suppose and was not less beautiful. And thank the gods that you've never seen my temper. I don't think it'd very pretty. I'd be much more content if I just...kept myself caged in a fit of rage." He laughed a little solemnly and stroked her hair.
"I must have loved you sometime ago, I just didn't know it yet. I don't think it'd be the moment I first saw you on the beach, that would have been too soon wouldn't it? It must have been some time over the course of the year. A time when I saw the sunlight strike your face at the right angle; a time when the sea air blew through you lovely hair and let me see the whole of the beauty of your face. Yes, I think that's when I loved you."
"I don't lie, Willem. The only time a peasant girl is ever told she is pretty is when a nobleman wants to cheat on his wife with her."
Celine blushed furiously, remembering that once in the Adelan marketplace, something of the sort had actually happened to her. If Willem were to ask, she would tell, but she'd really rather forget it. In the meantime, though, a feeling of shame filled her that was so great she couldn't even look at him.
She felt better when she heard Willem speculating about when he might have begun to love her. His words gave her the strength to raise her head again, and she smiled softly at him.
"I knew I loved you the first night we made love. But when I knew you would stay... when I told you about Randver being a centaur and you did not hate me...that was when I loved you even more. And when I had the flashback and you held me in the night and told me that I was safe in your arms, I knew that I had fallen for the right man."
"It'd be impossible for me to hate a woman who's beauty surpasses all I've ever known. Whose own inner serenity makes me ache to think that this woman actually hurt once in her life; lived in hear of her past and too weak to make a better future for herself. It pained me to the point where I could hardly breathe."
Willem kept his arms close around her, holding her tightly and gently kissing her forehead. It had been so long since he had a woman that he loved in his arms like this that he'd almost forgotten the feeling. He was but a lonely ship captain, hardly anything to look at let alone anyone to be around. Yet for all his pain there was finally something that could bring him peace. This something was not as wild or as tumultuous as the sea but something much closer to home. She was right here in his arms.
While still holding her close, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Milady, in my heart burns a flame whose fire would never scorch you."
"I know..." She kissed him softly on the lips as a gentle but definitely present passion filled her. She knew she would never have to worry about Willem hurting her. "I love you so much. I don't think I've ever loved anyone this much." Celine couldn't wait until she and Willem were wed, although it could be argued with the passion they presumably felt for one another that their two hearts had become one already, even without the exchanging of vows. As she looked into his eyes, she wondered if he felt the same way.
Their feelings were mutual, even if Willem hadn't said it yet to completely mark the occasion. Suddenly he felt in his mind that this was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Amelina was dead and he'd gotten over most of those old emotions in the time he had to grieve. It was true that he loved his first wife with all his heart and when she died apart of him died along with her, but also had a greater part of him that wanted to live, to move on away from the memory that weighed him down.
Sometimes, when he was alone, he thought that he didn't want to move on, that he was content to wallow in his own selfish, worthless misery. But the love he felt surface for Celine burned a flame far greater and far stronger than his habit for sorrow.
As if he was ready to take the world by storm, he leaned down and whispered into Celine's ear, "My love, my heart, my hope. You've become a great many things to me, things that I hold dear. But, not to seem too demanding, I'd like to ask one more favor from you. Would you bring me the ultimate happiness of being my wife?"
Celine wrapped her arms around Willem's neck and clung to him as though she would never let go. "Of course I will, my love," she whispered in his ear just as gently as he had whispered into hers. Then she kissed him passionately. "I'd never have survived physically if you hadn't found me, and now my heart has come to need you just as much."
She had never told him how grateful she was up until that moment. "If we hadn't met, I could have died. And now you are not only the second chance for my body to live, but for my heart to live. I don't think you'll ever fully realize how much I love you."
"That's so good to hear," Willem said, smiling through his animal-white teeth and trimmed beard. "I finally have the will to live now that I've found you. I feel like you've given me another chance at life and love. And for that I think you." He then reached into his coat pocket and grasped a separate ring that he considered slipping onto her fingers for a long time.
Now finally was the time. Gripping it with determination between his thumb and index finger, he took a deep breath and held her hand up gently. It was then that he slowly drifted it forward, every second of the moment seeming an eternity before the silver band, which looked to be the right size by some amazing stroke of luck, was placed onto her ring finger.
When it slipped completely on, he released the breath. Willem had treated her hand as if it were a delicate candle and that one simple sigh could ruin the beauty of the moment. He was about to be married for a second time and, with hope, the last. He held her once more, pressing his mustached lips against hers for the passion of a few seconds. He released her and smiled. "When do want to set the date?" he asked with a grin that stretched from one jutting ear to the next.
"As soon as possible," she said, breathless. Celine's heart was still fluttering excitedly in her chest, and had been since he put the ring on so slowly and gently. She still couldn't believe that this charming yet rugged man wanted to be hers. "There are just the crew to invite, and I know you'll love me no matter what I wear... although it would be nice to have a white dress to get married in. But then, we know that's stretching the truth, now, don't we?" she asked with an amorous grin. "Really, I can't think of a thing I'd rather do than be married to you. But I must be patient. Do you think we can reach a town in a month or two?" Celine asked. "Cerenis would be beautiful...." The village on the seaside seemed to be the most picturesque location to Celine. "As soon as we reach Cerenis, we should be married." She kissed him softly and then turned to regard him with all the love in the world in her eyes. "Well then, shall we make an announcement to the crew?"
Willem laughed in amusement at her excitement, clearly pleased that she had accepted and was giddy with happiness. He brushed his whiskers against her skin, the coarseness of his facial hair gently scratching at her hands. "That's lovely, my dear. But if it's a white dress you want, it's a white dress you'll have. You'll have the most beautiful gown in the world, one so immaculate that the crew would be blinded just by looking at it." He laughed at this and gaze down with warmth glowing in his eyes.
He nodded and smiled down at her. "The trip shouldn't take to long. This ship is small and swift should make the trip in adequate time. If you want to be married in Cerenis, then you shall have it. I don't care where we're wed. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life. And yes, the crew should know too. I can handle them if you wish; that is, unless you want to break the news to them?"
She laughed when he mentioned that her dress would blind the crew to look at it, but when Willem suggested that either one of them tell the crew separately, Celine shook her head. "We should tell them together, because that's what we are- together. Can you imagine the party they'll have?" She giggled girlishly, imagining them toasting her health and Willem's in spite of the fact that she knew they probably didn't have any wine. It was enough for her that she knew they would be happy for them both. She reached for his hand and looked down at her hand wearing the ring. How perfect it was. For once in both their lives, she and Willem were both happy, and their happiness lay in each other. "Come on, let's tell them now."
Willem considered that fact. His crew loved parties whenever they had the chance and they too knew of the fact that Willem, as Captain, allowed them to go to certain parties while they were in port sometimes. He knew of the ones that had wives and the others that were looking for one. By allowing the bachelors to attend brothels and the husbands to drink their worry away in a bar, it all made for a happy and content crew. And if the crew was happy, the Captain was happy.
With a nod, he smiled and accepted the grasp of her hand. "They'll throw one hell of a bash once we get to Cerenis. I honestly believe they'll be more than happy. Not just for me, but us as a whole. I think they have this small ideal in which they see if I'm in a good mood, I'm more prone to dock and allow them to have a good time on dry land for once. With you, I think I'll be happy for a very long time."