A Change of Scenery [Haze!]

[Juno]

Dacia remained speechless for a few moments after Dorian leaned back, ending their short, intimate contact. Opening her eyes and leaning back a bit herself, she could see the heavy, obvious look in his eye. Only thing was, she didn't really understand what it meant.

For his comment, she blushed. The wording didn't get by her. She had no idea what would happen now that she'd allowed an intimate moment to pass between them. "Certainly was a bit better," she murmured, breaking eye contact to cast a lingering glance down at cubs, who had wandered over to them, eyes questioning.

She didn't know what he wanted from her, but his kiss had left her full of questions. She had no idea if he was desperate, held a sense of lust for her, or perhaps something more. The mere thought of any troubled her, each for different reasons. Finally, though, Dacia sheepishly asked, "Why are you doing this? Is there something you, um, want from me?" She hoped this wasn't all his attempt at getting her to put out, trying to butter her up.

[Haze]

As Dacia leaned back from him and cast her eyes over the cubs Dorian dropped his head into his hands. What the hell was he doing!? He hauled himself to his feet, and began shoving his blanket back into his pack. Once this was done, he carefully hoisted up one of the cubs into his arms. "Come on." He said simply, and began heading towards the road.

What do I want from her? What is that I want. Hell, I don't know. What do I say to her. Do I tell her that for some reason I feel this incredible connection to her? I do say that she makes me want to put my life at risk, more than usual? What is about her. Come on, Dorian. She's nothing special. She's just a girl. And you've had girls - plenty of girls - before. Why don't you say that? Just tell her your horny, want a shag and be done with it? Oh yeah. Cause that would go down real well. She doesn't deserve that. She is special. I just don't know why yet. Look... you have to open your mouth and say something. You don't regret it, do you, kissing her? No... not at all. Argh. Why do relationships have to be so complicated? Just don't say anything stupid. Don't piss her off again.

It wasn't until they were walking again that he answered. "I'm doing this cause I want to." he gave a non-commital shrug, and stared at the road ahead. "Because I can. Because I'm the man."

[Juno]

Startled by his hasty movements, Dacia scrambled to her feet and scooped up the remaining cub and her pack. As he didn't say anything immediately, she assumed the worst of the situation in thinking he probably had just acted on impulse and said something nice to try and hook her.

Not looking at him at all now, she followed him back to the road and began walking a little ways behind him. Sighing, a million things running through her head but thoughts not settling on any one, Dacia pressed her free hand to her forehead in irritation. When he finally spoke she glanced up at him, shaking her head. It didn't surprise her at all what he said, but that didn't mean it didn't sting. A short "hm" was her only reply. Now she chose to brood in silence, a change from her usual choice of lashing out at those she felt had wronged her.

She felt dirty. She wanted to take another bath and scrub all the little spots he touched and wash her mouth out. Of course he doesn't care about it, you should've known that already, idiot, she scolded herself. See if we keep this up for long. I'll drop him the next chance I get, I don't need to deal with this crap. Everything was absolutely dandy until he showed up!

[Haze]

He chanced a glance over at her. She looked mad. Really mad. But he had the feeling that he'd apologised for his behaviour once too many times. How was she supposed to believe him, if he told her the truth? His shoulders slumped dejectedly, so tuned it to what a fool he was. He walked a little faster, wanting to put some distance between them for a while.

Dorian grimaced, and closed his eyes briefly. It'd be better this way. he thought. At least this way you can get on with it, and not worry about whether she's safe or not. I don't know whether it's a gift or bloody curse, this heroism

"Brat." He muttered to himself. "You are a complete, and utter fool." He didn't seem to be aware that his internal dialogue was being said out loud. His voice grew louder as he continued to berate himself, throwing his hands up for emphasis every now and again. "Of course now she's thinks your just a sleaze. You should have said to her. You should have said, Dacia, I think you're pretty. I think you're pretty, and that's why I wanted to kiss you. Not just because your pretty though. Goddammit, Dorian. Even in your head you can't get it right!" the emphatic explosion here was enough to make him realise that his private conversation with himself, actually wasn't that private at all.

He stopped talking abruptly, and kept his eyes dead ahead, absolutely terrified of what Dacia might have heard.

[Juno]

She didn't have any reaction as he put a bit more distance between them, but she did quirk an eyebrow as she heard him begin to mutter to himself. It wasn't just muttering, though. His voice grew louder as he ranted.

He was right about what she thought about him now. She figured, as he listened, that he was used to having it easy and getting whatever he wanted just handed to him, no questions asked. Indeed, he had been quite bratty, but if he'd even told her half of what he was telling himself she would've felt a bit better, been a bit kinder, and at least not want to give him such a hard time now.

Shaking her head as he wrapped up his bellowing, Dacia glared at him, this man that couldn't even be honest with her as far as she could tell. "Dorian," she called ahead to him. "You know, maybe this whole...traveling together isn't going to work out. I'll take the cubs to Ketra, but I think we should just...go our separate ways. " She sped up now, trying to close the distance between them so she could take Clarity. "Maybe we made a mistake."

It'll be better this way. I can just...forget it ever happened...right?

[Haze]

Dorian looked at Dacia, horrified at what she was suggesting. Not travel together? No. Absolutely not. and her take the cubs. He snorted. "You are not taking the cubs," he spat. "Who was it that said they couldn't look after themselves, let alone babies? Oh that's right - you." His eyes narrowed as she tried to take Clarity from him. "Don't you dare."

He stared down at her, swallowing heavily, and nostrils flaring. He was suddenly very, very angry. Mostly at himself.

"And we didn't make a mistake at all. I was the one who made the mistake. For falling for you. I'm stupid for even beginning to think that I could do something worthwhile in my life. You deserve a lot better than me, but I am not going to let you take these cubs, Dacia." He sounded like he could be close to crying, but his frustration at himself was to blame.

"And you know what? I should have told you. I should have just said, Dacia, I kissed you because I wanted to, because I felt something for you. But you scare me! And I wonder if I would always be frightened for you! Do you know, back there, when I thought you'd gone? I lost it. I was ready to kill anyone or anything that might have done you harm. I didn't care about how banged up I was. You could have been hurt, or dead, or worse. My only concern was for you!"

He dropped his head for a moment, heaving for breath.
Give her the damn animal. You know how badly she feels for them

"You're right." He said finally, his voice deflated. "Maybe we should go our seperate ways. Here." He held out the cub in his arms, looking to the road, refusing to look at Dacia.

[Juno]

Of course what she'd said before was going to bite her in the ass now. Gritting her teeth, she glared at him as he denied her the cub. But then he blasted into a speech, something that shocked her as she hadn't expected him to become upset like this.

It stung to hear that he was scared of her, but she didn't understand the way he meant it, only the way she saw it. Eyes softening toward the end, not knowing what she should do now with all of this new information she'd had no idea about before, Dacia began to panic.

"I...I didn't know!" she finally shouted, hanging her head, feeling horrible now knowing how scared he'd been for her safety, how much he'd actually cared. Surely, she thought, she'd ruined it all now.

The cubs, literally in the middle of all of this, looked absolutely frightened and ready to retreat off into a dark den. Constance had started squealing as she squirmed around in Dacia's hands. Clarity, she could see, was equaling upset.

It saddened her to look at all of them, feeling guilty and helpless now that Dorian had poured his heart out to her. The idea of someone caring for her, even thinking that she deserved something more than he felt he could provide...it was foreign to her. But she, too, was scared of the unknown. She didn't know what to think or what to do or what she even felt for him now; it was all a jumbled mess in her head.

"Dorian," she said weakly, looking up at him one last time with eyes so deep and brimming with all the feelings clouding her at this moment. "I'm sorry." Quickly stepping forward, she planted a kiss to his lips as she took Constance into her free hand, a kiss that meant a bit more to her now. The only problem with that, she couldn't hug him goodbye. Tears building up in her eyes, she tore herself away from him reluctantly, twins now in her possession.

"Good luck... I'm sorry." And with that, she ran. Ran for Ketra, ran away from her fears, ran away from it all. Giving him one last glance back, her tears overcame her will. She knew already what a mistake she was truly making, but how could she turn back now? So, she just kept running.

[Haze]

In his mind's eye, everything that happened, happened in silence.

Dacia took the cubs.

Kissed him.

And ran.

She looked back, once. Dorian just stared after her, knowing that he had lost something far greater than he'd ever possibly known.

Clutching his ribs, he sank down on the side of the road, and drew his knees as close to his chest as he possibly could.

There was no way to repair what had just happened. He didn't have the strength to go after her.

Of course you do. Moron. You are not going to let the best thing that ever happened to you just run out of your life.

Oh yes. Yes I am.

End