Cakesplosion! [Zero!]

[Rhindeer]

[PM to join! 8D]

BOOOOOM!

The thundering sound echoed down the street, drowning out the shriek that followed it and the crash and crunch of splintering timbers. It came from one of the shops on one of the busiest streets in Mapleton, a quaint but bustling village in Moonspear, where Ife Avita lived. In fact, it was her family's bakery that was currently smoking--

Except, thank the gods above, it wasn't actual smoke that was wafting into the air.

It was just flour.

Flour and sugar.

The magical blast, however, had broken down the door and sent Ife flying out to land stretched out on her back in the street, covered head to foot in flour and sugar and egg and yeast and chocolate. Stunned from the impact, she thanked the gods above that her parents were out of town for the week.

Because they would have baked her alive if they saw what she'd (accidentally, she swore!) done to their bakery.

[Zero]

There was a very vague familiarity to Mapleton. Probably because it was generically, quintessentially 'quaint little Serendian village'. Robb had probably seen at least a dozen or two small towns that were almost exactly like it during his travels all over the country. Of course there was a warm undercurrent in this one - small little things that made it feel more like home to him.

Moonspear was, and always would be, his home.

That said, he didn't think he'd ever actually been to Mapleton, which was a little strange considering just how close to home it really was. Either way, it was very peaceful walking down the streets, simply taking in the sights, no matter how ordinary they might be on the surface.

It was while wandering the busiest avenue that an explosion nearly knocked him off his feet. A deafening ringing within his ears disoriented him for a few moments as he staggered a few steps in shock and confusion. This was just a small, quiet village. What on earth could cause an explosion in a place like this?

Shaking off the ringing and dizziness, Robb immediately fell back into his conditioned defensive mode of thought, looking around to assess the situation as quickly as possible.

It only took a few moments for him to relax, though. This was obviously not an attack. Not that he would have a clue who would attack Mapleton - or why they would for that matter. A dusting of flour and sugar was raining down on not only himself, but everyone else that happened to be in the immediate vicinity of the blast.

The worst of the damage seemed to be a young woman that was currently sprawled on the street and covered in baking ingredients.

Robb quickly moved to her, kneeling down and leaning over her slightly. "Are you hurt?"

[Rhindeer]

Dazed, Ife could do little more than just lay there and try to figure out what the heck had just happened. One moment she had been merrily mixing ingredients and casting a minor spell, and the next she was...here. On the ground. Covered in ingredients. With half the bakery demolished.

Maybe if she laid here long enough she'd just become one with the ground. Just sink into it and get swallowed right up. Because right then, she didn't want to get up. She just wanted to lay there and not see what the bakery looked like and--

A face swam into her vision, and Ife blinked wearily up as her vision began to clear and sharpen. And through the ringing in her ears, a voice came through--a pleasant voice, which matched the pleasant--and unnervingly handsome face. She blinked again, and then just stared, her cheeks starting to darken as, through her stunned silence, the first threads of mortification began to weave their way through her brain. She'd made a huge mess. She had destroyed her bakery. There was flour and eggs and stuff everywhere. She was covered in stuff. And...

And the first person who came to her aid is some handsome older guy.

Ife let out a small squeak, then opened her mouth to speak, to say she was fine, totally fine, no problem, happens all the time, don'tchaknow?!

But then, to her horror, instead of words what came out was a huge, unladylike sneeze directly into his face, sending a cloud of flour and sugar all over him.

[Zero]

It was a little concerning when she didn't really answer right away, only producing a little squeak, but considering it seemed that she had been at the heart of the explosion Robb imagined she was far more disoriented than he had been.

The response that he got wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting.

Robb flinched back at the sneeze, getting even more baking dust blown onto him. The entire area, and everyone in it, seemed to have a light dusting of white powder. He blinked his eyes open and looked down at the woman again.

"Bless you." He mumbled - as was polite!

Then it happened, his face twisted up a little and he turned his head, lifting his arm as he sneezed into his sleeve. All the flour and sugar had started tickling at his nose and with her sneezing even more right into his face he couldn't hold it back. Robb sneezed twice more before lowering his arm with a slight sniffle and shaking his head vigorously, sending a shower of flour and sugar falling down around him.

[Rhindeer]

Much to Ife's horror, when he sneezed, more flour went up her nose and suddenly she found herself sneezing anew--and laughing between sneezes and coughs. Wheezing and giggling breathlessly, she covered her face with one hand, her dark skin powdered white, and waved at the noxious cloud of flour to try to direct it away.

"Oh gods," she groaned, wiping at her nose--and smearing butter and flour across her face. It would be just her luck, being rescued by a valiant, handsome man after making such an utter fool of herself, and then exchanging sneezes with him! Was it possible to fail harder?

Finally looking up at him, she managed a sheepish, dazed smile, still reeling from the blast. Her head was buzzing and felt a little funny, and so were her ears; chances were, she had some bruises she'd be feeling later. "I am so, so sorry, sir! Not that I don't appreciate you rushing to my aid!" she added, and wiggled her nose as she felt another sneeze coming on. After a moment, though, the tickle passed. She laughed faintly. "Though, I won't deny I'd always dreamed of a scenario like this, but it involved much less flour and far fewer clothes."

And then she blinked, stared up at him, and felt her face heat. Oh. Had she said that last part out loud?

She cleared her throat, shifting her eyes away.

"...Ah. Fewer...baker's clothes. As in me wearing fancier clothes. Respectable clothes. Yes."

[Zero]

It was a chain reaction! A most unfortunate one. Her sneezing had caused him to sneeze, and now his sneezing had her sneezing again.

Good thing the whole situation seemed a bit ridiculous, because the dark-skinned young woman began laughing as she coughed and trying to wave away the offending cloud of flour and sugar that started the whole mess. He couldn't suppress his own chuckle as he helped wave away the dust. It really was a pretty amusing situation, and laughing over it helped relieve some of the awkwardness.

"It's quite alright." Robb really didn't mind getting sneezed on too much. At least she was alright! That had been quite the explosion, even if it was mostly baking ingredients.

Of course then she blurted out that next little tidbit and he felt his brows raise, a lopsided grin splitting his face as he nearly choked on a held-back laugh. It would be mean to laugh at the slip, especially with how embarrassed she obviously was a she quickly tried to cover what she'd said. Or maybe she really had meant it differently and it had only come out wrong. Robb didn't think so, but still.

"Well maybe we can start over with you properly cleaned up and dressed, but first I think we should get you up off the ground." He offered her his hand to help her pull herself up, still grinning a bit.

[Rhindeer]

If the gods truly exist, please strike me dead now...

Those were Ife's thoughts as she stared up at Robb, and when he laughed, the urge to sink into the earth and have it encase her like a coffin only grew. Oh, curse her traitor tongue! And curse this entire scenario! Why couldn't she have been rescued from some brigands or something like in the tales, with her skirts strategically slashed to make her look all vulnerable and ravishing? Why did it have to be something embarrassing?

Her eyes flicked to his hand and she swallowed, then took it. She fully expected him to get her up on her feet and send her on her way. No doubt he thought her a freak after all that! And that was fine, she was more than anxious to scurry away in shame and hide for the rest of eternity.

But then his words actually registered and her eyes widened.

Start...over?

He wanted to start over?

Properly??

"O-oh! Yes. Yes, of course!" she said, and pulled herself to her feet, flour clouding the air as she moved. She patted down her skirts, sending more up into the air. "Ah, that does sound like a marvelous idea! Proper introductions and all! I assure you, this doesn't always happen! Like, ever! Explosions and getting covered in chocolate and things. But I'm rambling, I'm sorry! I'd better go clean up. Would you like to join me?"

A pause. "In my home. While I clean. Not in my bath. Not that I was thinking that."

[Zero]

A warm, if amused smile, split his face as she agreed to start over. She seemed so very embarrassed, and it was pretty endearing if Robb was being honest with himself. Heavens help him if he wasn't a sucker for a pretty blushing girl. Even if her skin was so rich and dark it was hard to tell that it was changing colors at all.

Her demeanor and manner of speaking was enough to reveal her flustered state.

"I'm sure this is a most unfortunate and isolated incident, Miss." He chuckled, eyeing her appreciatively. Maybe she was unhappy with being covered in flour and sugar, but it just made him think of a sweet pastry he wouldn't mind sinking his teeth into.

Gods but he was terrible.

"I'm sure you weren't." Robb laughed softly, before continuing with just a hint of mischievous teasing in his voice. "I'd love to join you."

[Rhindeer]

"Join me?!" Ife's voice squeaked and her skin flushed a shade darker, her eyes widening. "In the bath?"

Wait. Hadn't they already established they were talking about her home?

[Zero]

"I believe you invited me to join you in your home, and were most assuredly not talking about the bath." Robb's eyes practically twinkled with mirth. He'd have to be careful with this one, before he gave the poor excitable darling a heart attack!

"I would love to join you. In your home. As a guest." He grinned broader.

[Rhindeer]

Oh. Ohhhhh.

Ife could have just died. Right there. Just died and been happy about it, for how foolish she must seem to him!

"O-of course! As a guest! Not that I thought otherwise, about baths and things. Very inappropriate and we're just not on that level yet!" A pause. "Not that there is necessarily a yet. Ah. Follow me! If you like!"

Just stop talking, just stop talking! She had to learn when to shut her big mouth! But she couldn't help it! Beautiful people did a number on her and her tongue suddenly started flopping all over like a fish. A talking fish. Gods and goddesses help her.

Twirling on her heel, skirts flaring and sending up a cloud of flour, she marched quickly for her home without looking back to see if he would follow. Because she was sort of afraid that he wouldn't.

But also kind of afraid that he would.

[Zero]

It was almost dizzying, really, how quickly the girl talked.

Robb chuckled again, trying to keep his amusement suppressed to a minimum for her sake. Although she was super cute when embarrassed. He wondered just how much and how often he could make her blush if he tried. It would be fun to find out.

He definitely followed her, lips still quirked up in a big grin as he eyed her up and down from behind. Good thing she was so intent on keeping her eyes forward. She wasn't a shapely girl, but he could still appreciate her tall, slender form, and it wasn't hard to imagine how nice her legs probably were under those skirts.

"I'm Sir Robert Thorne, by the way. It's kind of you to invite me into your home, Miss...?" He introduced himself politely and fished for her name.

[Rhindeer]

SIR Robert Thorne?

SIR. As in...a noble title? A knightly title?

Her back was to him, which was a good thing, because her eyes were saucer-wide in realization, and her ears burned ever hotter. A knight. In her home. A literal knight--perhaps not in shining armor--had come to her aid! And was now coming inside her home! With her! A lowly baker!

Oh, he was so out of her league.

It was an effort to keep herself together as she answered, forcing the words out as steadily as she could. "Ife. I'm Ife. Ife Avita, ah...Sir?" She glanced back as she said it, quickly, before she stepped over the now door-less and splintered threshold of her home and into the disaster that awaited, suddenly more embarrassed than ever before.

The building was two-storied. While the upstairs served as her family's living space, the bottom served as her family's bakery, with a huge stone oven that was currently caked in acrid black. Flour and eggs and sweets were smeared and splattered everywhere, broken dishes crunching under Ife's shoes with each step, and she paled a little when she saw the butter knife that was currently wedged deep into a wall. Indeed, things could have ended much worse for her.

She hurried toward the stairs as quickly as she could. "Er. Don't mind the mess, in fact try not to even look at it," she said, motioning him to follow and trying NOT to think about how on Earth she was going to fix this before her parents returned. "You can come wait up here! While I, ah, quickly get myself into order! I would offer you something to drink or snack on, but..."

She waved vaguely at the disaster, and hurried the rest of the way upstairs.

Unlike the current mess downstairs, Ife's living space was cozy and tidy, if small and minimalist. It seemed the majority of her family's investments went into the bakery, because they didn't own much else. A few knickknacks, a few sentimental items. There were only three rooms--the main living space, with an old wooden table and chairs, and a rocking chair in the far corner, her tiny bedroom, and her parents' room.

"It's not much," she said, acutely aware of how small it was, now that she had a knight in her presence. "But, er...feel free to take a seat! I'll be quick! Why don't you tell me all about yourself while I get all...fixed."

[Zero]

Robb didn't notice the young baker's reaction to his introduction. He was far more interested in watching the way her hips moved as she walked. It wasn't as if she was moving in a seductive way or anything, but he still enjoyed it. He hadn't met many Serenian women who were as tall and long in the leg as this colorful beauty, the contrast between her dark skin and bright hair was nice.

"Just Robb is fine, Miss Ife. You don't have to call me Sir." He stepped over the splintered threshold and actually managed to take his attention off the pretty woman he was following long enough to look around and take in the scope of the destruction wrought in the little bakery.

It was kind of impressive.

"I see nothing." Right. That kind of wreckage was hard to miss. Still, Robb was nothing if not polite, especially to a pretty hostess that didn't have to invite him into her home. Honestly he hadn't really done anything noteworthy. All he had done was ask if she was alright and help her up off the ground. "It's alright, I understand."

Yeah, with that kind of mess he wasn't counting on being offered any kind of refreshments. Not that it mattered, he wasn't here for that. Robb wasn't there to leer, either, but that didn't keep him from admiring the view.

When they reached the living space upstairs the knight looked around with interest and curiosity. The space wasn't large, but it was clean and comfortable. He idly thought that his sister's bedroom was larger than the entire second floor of Ife's bakery. On second thought, so was his room at the family mansion. Well, it wasn't as if he had never been in the home of someone with much less than his family had. Robb had grown up very privileged and understood that.

"I think it's rather quaint." He said with a smile, waving off her comment about it not being much as he took a seat at the table, looking quite at ease. Having a rest before continuing on his way home would be nice. "All about myself? Mm, where to start? You have my name, and title, ah but I suppose Sir is rather generic, isn't it? I belong to The Order of the Moon, but am on my way to my family home outside of Selevea. We are a merchant family - some dyes, spices, trinkets, other odds and ends, but mostly Essyrni silks."

[Rhindeer]

As Sir Robb--er, just Robb--got settled, Ife slipped into her room and closed the door, but not all the way; she left it open just a crack so she could still hear him.

And she was glad to be in another room, because what he said made her sputter.

He belonged to the Order of the Moon! And he was a merchant?! Oh, he was definitely rich, then--or at least rich compared to her family! And he hunted demons and vampires and wicked things? That was even better than a normal knight, who might be a knight only in title. The Order of the Moon were practically legendary! The esteemed knights and warriors that protected Moonspear from evil!

At least to her, from her sheltered point of view. She had grown up hearing all sorts of tales of epic battles and narrow rescues and dark magic, of swooping in to save maidens from demonic blood sacrifices and vampiric slavery. What kinds of things had he seen? What daring adventures had he lead?

And not to mention his travels! As a merchant, he no doubt went everywhere!

Heart pounding, Ife looked at her bedraggled appearance in her small mirror, right above her wash basin, and felt even more horrified at the egg smeared across her cheek and flour plastered to her skin--not to mention the batter dripping from her hair. Why did they have to meet like this?! He probably thought her horribly slovenly!

"You...you sound like you have an awfully busy life!" she called back, as she began to frantically splash and scrub at her face, and rake her fingers through her hair. "An exciting one, too! If dangerous. The Order of the Moon. Gods." Okay, despite her horror about how they met, she couldn't help but feel a little giddy over the fact that he had taken time out of his very busy and important life to help her. Was she reading too much into that? Probably!

"I've never met anyone from the Order. Well, until you, that is! But I've heard all about it! All the stories and legends and heroic deeds! Is it scary? Fighting demons and things? Have you seen many awful creatures? I've heard if not for the Order, Serendipity would be overrun!"

Her face was clean and her hair was decent enough, so she quickly stripped from her ruined dress and rifled through her wardrobe for a change of clothes. What to wear? She didn't own much, just a few plain dresses for work and travel, and one nice dress for special occasions...well, this was a special occasion, right? Wasn't everyday a girl met a knight of legend!

But would it be too obvious and too desperate?

...Mm. You only lived once.

She pulled it out, a simple but pretty white and yellow dress that reminded her of a sunflower and showed off what cleavage she had, and quickly wriggled into it. And since she had done that much already, she might as well do her face a little. A little kohl here, a little red on her lips...

"Almost done!"

[Zero]

"That is definitely a way to describe my life." Busy? Check. Dangerous? Check. Exciting? "After all, today I was only minding my own business as I traveled home and ended up sitting in the home of a young and pretty baker after assisting her with what looks like a cake explosion."

It was hard not to catch the excitement in her voice. Robb knew that tone and pitch very well. Ife was one of those types, it would seem. The young women who had heard quite fanciful tales of heroes battling evil – stories that were embellished, sugar-coated, and brightened to spare people the either less impressive truth or grim reality of what men like him really did. People wanted the brave; happy endings, not the blood, sweat, and tears that really went into all of it.

Robb didn't mind those eager young women who wanted to listen to him recount stories of his heroics with rapt attention. They fed the ego nicely, and they were generally a good source of company on those evenings when there was nothing out there needing his attention.

Sometimes they provided extra good company.

"I've seen horrific things aplenty in my time; twelve years of service will do that. Cults performing unholy rituals, necromancers, werewolves, shape-shifters, vampires..." That last one made him pause, falling silent as his thoughts turned to why he was there in the first place. He was going home because people had died. People that he considered almost like brothers. If his orders had been different, if he had lead them better...

No, he couldn't dwell on it right now. Robb was sitting in the home of a young woman that had invited him in as thanks for helping her - even if that help had been miniscule.

"Wonderful." Hearing Ife say she was almost done was enough to break him out of his thoughts and bring him back to the present, to what was happening here and now. The past could wait. For now he had an attractive woman practically falling over herself because of him. That was far more interesting to think about.

[Rhindeer]

"Werewolves and vampires and necromancers? Oh my," Ife said, and she checked herself over in the mirror one last time, making sure every hair was in its place and that there were no patches of flour she'd managed to miss. When she was satisfied, she opened the door and practically bounced back into the room.

She smiled up at Robb, shifting from foot to foot, and for a moment she had a little panic--like was she being too obvious? Was the dress and makeup too...forward? But she chased the thought away because it was too late now, and besides, he looked good so it only made sense to look good, too, and prove that she cleaned up well!

"Hi," she said, tucking some bouncy curls behind her ear. "Hope I didn't make you wait too long!"

[Zero]

Robb was quick to stand when Ife bounced back into the room. It was proper manners to stand when a lady entered the room, after all.

"Hi." Robb echoed with a disarming smile, a hint of amusement in the tone. "Not too long at all, Miss Ife. Besides, the company of a charming young lady is well worth a little wait."

He let his eyes roam over her, not in a strictly leering way, but Robb wasn't trying to be subtle about it either. It was hard not to notice the light make-up Ife had taken the time to apply, and the dress was definitely not something that he thought most women would wear casually.

"Especially when you took the time to look so pretty for me. I'm flattered." Was his grin a little cheeky? Maybe just a smidge.

[Rhindeer]

Oh dear. Those roaming eye and that cheeky grin of his successfully brought out another warm blush and Ife lowered her eyes with a soft laugh. "Oh, this is nothing! You should see me when I actually have time to put myself together!" She found herself playing with a curl, stretching it and letting it bounce back into place--a nervous habit--and quickly jerked her hand away.

Get it together, girl! You have a knight in your home!

But in all her daydream scenarios, she had been a lot more prepared and a lot more charming and smooth. The setting had been a lot fancier, too--ballrooms, forest walks, things like that. Not...this. Her home, which was in complete disarray. She did not want even think about the disaster below, especially not now of all times, but she needed to deal with that quickly before a.) it attracted vermin and b.) her parents returned.

Siiiiiigh...

"I'm just sorry I'm not dressing up for something, you know, more exciting and befitting of a meeting with a werewolf slayer!" She let out a small huff. "But I guess now you can say you've met a kitchen-slayer, too. I, ah...I should probably start cleaning that up..."