Ok just made this up this morning while walking from the shops and had to write it down. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it ^^
*Reads pamphlet just given to him called: Organisation of Atheistism*
Pamphlet reader: “’When you die, that’s it. You’re dead.’ So no afterlife then?�
Member of OoA: “No sir.�
“What about reincarnation?�
“No sir. Doesn’t happen, sir.�
“You sure? Except that I have an inkling that I was a snail once, I have nightmares of being stepped on you know.�
“It’s all in your head sir, those other regions spread around those rumours, scaring decent folk out of their minds. They’ve done studies on it.�
“Studies? On other religions spreading rumours?�
“Well, yes sir. But I meant studies disproving reincarnation and the afterlife, sir.�
“Really? How?�
“Volunteers for the Organisation study dead bodies, sir.�
“And what exactly does that prove?�
“That they stay dead sir.�
“I see…what about vampires and zombies?�
“They’re exempt sir.�
“Exempt?�
“Yes sir, that’s the damnation part, refusing to stay dead sir. Less said about them the better sir. Say, you’re not a vampire. Are you sir?�
“Oh no, I’m just naturally pale, I do go tan in the summer though, and the sight of blood makes me go queasy.�
“Zombie, then sir?�
“No, I’m happily alive thank you.�
“Well sir, that’s what they all say sir.�
“All say what?�
“That they’re happily alive and sluuuck! Next minute your brains are being eaten, sir.�
“I can assure you that I am not undead, I would be slurring my words and crying out brains every second, nor do I have fangs and a unhealthy interest towards bats.�
“Very well sir, we have to check everyone sir. Or else they’re take advantage of our Death Insurance policy.�
“Death Insurance policy?�
“Yes sir, it’s a guaranteed plot to be buried in. You pay monthly sir and-
“Right. Well what about souls, do you believe in them? Would I have to do anything to save mine?�
“No sir that is a rumour to stop people from sneezing without covering their noses sir. Unpleasant times then sir, you’d be walking along and suddenly ‘ACHOO!’ you’re covered in snot sir.�
“Right.�
“No sir, when you die, Nothing happens sir.�
“Nothing? No winged naked women? No fluffy clouds and stringed instruments? No fires and whips if you’ve been bad?�
“No sir. You’re just dead. And you rot a bit.�
“Well, wouldn’t rotting be counted as doing something?�
“No sir.�
“How do you figure that?�
“Well sir, little organisms eat away at the dead flesh making it rot. So you do Nothing while they eat you.�
“And they’ve done studies on this?�
“Yes sir it was the biggest funded study ever taken on by our Organisation.�
“Ok so nothing happens when you die?�
“No sir, not nothing happens, but Nothing happens�
“There’s a difference?�
“Yes sir, it has a capital letter at the beginning of nothing, making it important you see sir.�
“Important? How?�
“It just does sir. Nothing works in non-mysterious ways you know, sir.�
“I see...�
