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A Simple Break-in for Minor Commercial Gain (Alize)

Started by Eckhart_Von_Musel, November 18, 2016, 03:04:45 PM

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Eckhart_Von_Musel

Initially startled, Hildegarde quickly regained her composure. Two more golems lumbered into the room after first one had attacked the masked man, who seemed to be having a hard time facing such a durable foe. "Oh... I guess Kino doesn't live up to how he looks. But no worries- I got this, easy" she thought with a smirk. "Another match please, Griselda." Her lieutenant complied, and Hildegarde raised her hands as if to frame what was directly in front of her- an old trick she used to help her visualize things. The second golem was moving towards her, but the third golem was heading towards the center of the room, no doubt to aid it's companion in crushing Kino. "Yep, that works..." she muttered as she lit the match and used helium to move it towards the third golem. As the lit match reached it's target, Hildegarde added small pockets of methane to the air around it. The resulting explosion caused chunks of brick to fly in every direction, damaging the other two golems. Hildegarde let out a shrill laugh, and motioned towards towards the golem that had been approaching her. Griselda moved to intercept, and Hildegarde leaned up againt the wall of the room. Her eyes settled on Kino. "Lets see if you can beat it now."

Alize

Three... two... one... left-hook! Three... two... one... jab... Three... two... one...

By now Kino had gotten a good feel for the steady, rhythmic pace of the golem's blows. The automaton's initial bull-rush had been a surprise, but the surprises had ended there. Predicting the clay figure's movements was child's play, and though she was relentlessly being backed into a corner, she still had more than ample time remaining. Every blow forced her closer to the wall, but every moment brought the surprise in her hand closer to body temperature...

Alize

The large everglass flask, spherical with a long neck and sluicing with amber liquid, started to heat up in her palm.

In the time-lapse between the creature's blows, the apothecary swung her right foot up onto an ivy-colored sofa and anchored it there firmly. The golem threw a jab. Kino kicked off with her left and brought herself up onto the couch, balancing precariously and avoiding the blow. The flask started to burn her skin. Another giant red fist flew towards her head. She let her momentum carry her up and over the back of the sofa, flicking her wrist and leaving the flask spinning in midair as she fell.

Where Kino's head had been a moment before, there was now a rapidly rotating glass flagon. The bulky fist made contact. The flask exploded into ten-thousand amber droplets and shards of glass. The golem's body sizzled and hissed. Shielded from the blast by the high-backed sofa, Kino landed on all fours.

Unfazed, the golem moved to sweep the sofa aside with its foot. The pale-green furniture piece skidded across the floor. Kino brought herself up and leaped back, putting some distance between herself and her attacker.

The construct carried on, oblivious to the way its "skin" was sloughing and dribbling down its sides like candlewax. It failed to notice that a fair portion of its melting leg was carried away with the sofa it had kicked. It mindlessly carried on.

Unwilling to get within punching range just yet, Kino swept up a chair that had been overturned by Hildegarde's blast. Gripping it by its legs, she thrust it forward like a spear. The chair's oaken back embedded itself into the oncoming golem's massive chest with a Squshhhkk. The construct halted. Kino yanked the chair sideways with all her might. It came free, messily bisecting the creature. The golem's upper and lower halves toppled to the floor. Kino tossed the chair away and looked at Hildegarde.

Behind her mask, she cocked an eyebrow.

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Laughing, Hildegarde clapped her hands enthusiastically. "I haven't had that much fun it weeks! It feels good to cut loose."  "Oh, bravo Kino! I knew you could do it. Griselda, are you finished yet?" Griselda nodded, and put a fist through the head of the golem she was fighting. "Of course you are!" Walking up to the mantle, Hildegarde took the box she had spotted before. It was vermeil, and it had a large piece of labradorite bezel set into the top. A delicate looking lock held the box closed- no doubt with additional enchantments protecting it as well. Hildegarde didn't actually care what was inside the box, not when by itself the box would fetch a fairly high price.

Still holding the box in her hands, she held the now unlocked door open with her foot. "After you, my friends! I'm suffering from a disease called "excitement", and pressing on is the only cure!" She laughed at her own joke. "I am so clever! How do I manage to keep surprising myself like this?"

Alize

The apothecary nodded her beak in silent assent to the fuchsia-clad kingpin's joke, then made her way to the door. Kicking it aside, she chewed her lower lip and regarded the hallway ahead.

"This sumbitch really loves green..."

A viridian shag carpet rolled out in front of her, lush and full as if woven from blue-green moss. The walls were adorned with tapestries of a similar make, intermittently spaced and parted where candle sconces jutted out from the walls to illuminate the passageway with teal flames. The hallway stretched into the distance. As an earthy musk wafted through her mask, Kino mulled over how the passage resembled a lush-with-lichen hollow that might be found beneath a giant oak.

The hairs on the back of the alchemist's neck tingled, and she reached to scatter more banyan. Withdrawing a large pinch of the bark from her pouch, she intoned, "Lady Hildegarde, might you be able to blow this ahead of us? You appear proficient with air magicks..."

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Following the masked man into the hallway, Hildegarde's eyes were assaulted by the color green. Green lights, green walls, green floors- it all made Hildegarde want to gag. "Good lord, this place is borderline offensive. And a shag carpet too? We're doing Averax a favor by vandalizing his house- gives him a reason to redecorate."

"Lady Hildegarde, might you be able to blow this ahead of us? You appear proficient with air magicks..."

Hildegarde smirked. She knew full well that her biggest strength as a fighter wasn't her power- it was the inability of other people to identify what that power was. "He takes me for an elemental, huh? That's what, the third time this week?" Still, she smiled at the man and held out her palm for the man to place the magic dust. "But of course! It's the least I can do!" Once she had it in her hand, Hildegarde used helium to lift the dust into the air...

Or at least, she tried. It turned out that lifting multiple miniscule particles all at once was much more challenging then she thought it'd be, and Hildegarde was visibly struggling to do it. "Come on, work damnit!" She muttered under her breath. Finally she managed to lift the entire clump...

Which promptly fell into the shag carpet.

The color drained from Hildegarde's face. Her eye twitched. "Shit." Her mind raced with possible excuses she could use instead of having to admit to her inexperience.

Griselda audibly exhaled behind her. Unfolding her wings, she began to flap them with enough force to free the banyan bark (and hundreds of years worth of dirt) from the carpet. Flying through the hallway, the bark illuminated five more tripwires.

Walking up to Hildegarde, Griselda gave the girl an sympathetic look. Hildegarde met her eyes briefly, than looked away. "Or that. That works too." She shot Kino a death glare. "If you tell anybody about this... Well, just don't. That mask won't save you." With that, she'd continue down the hallway, face red.

"Sweet Ansgar, that was embarrassing. I gotta remind myself to kill him when this is over."

Alize

As Hildegarde's face grew red, Kino sunk her teeth into her tongue to prevent herself from guffawing. To laugh now would be to invite death later, and the alchemist managed to avoid that. Albeit barely.

But seriously, what kind of professional gangboss and seasoned mage gets so flustered over what's obviously the product of a concealed anti-magic glyph? If Hildegarde's behavior was a part of an act, it was certainly working. The pink-clad kingpin's charm was more than apparent.

"Well, at least now we know there's some kind of spell-null ward hidden around here. Pro'lly bellow this hideous carpet, eh?"

She theatrically kicked the fuzzy green floorpiece with mock disdain, then began picking her way around the neon tripwires towards the brass door on the far end of the hall.

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Gingerly stepping over a tripwire, Hildegarde ignored the masked man. "I can't believed I fucked up in front of him." she thought angrily. "At least he's stupid enough to think it was an antimagic rune- as if a mage would put one of those in his house."

Reaching the end of the hallway, Hildegarde notice the door was slightly ajar already. Carefully opening it the rest of the way, she stepped into the next room- if you could even call it a "room" to begin with.

Much like the previous two room, it was overwhelmingly green- but that's because Hildegarde had somehow stepped into a pine forest. "What the fuck..." she muttered under her breath as she looked around. There was no ceiling, no walls in sight besides the one behind her. The air smelled fresh, as opposed to the stale atmosphere in the other rooms. Still, something felt... off.

"That settles it, I'm killing Averax before he tries to decorate the rest of the city. No more green, ever"

Alize

It wasn't by any flaw that the illusion was betrayed, but rather by the perfection of the guise. The colors of the moss and lichen encrusting the old tree trunks were too vivid, the smell of fern and peat too crisp. It was as if the trio's surroundings were ripped straight out of a story book. No real forest was this... forest-ish.

"Pretty cheap illusion, eh?"

Kino slapped the side of a nearby tree trunk. It felt strangely hollow.

"Not a real tree."

She kicked a clump of loamy peat. It didn't squelch or squish.

"Not real dirt."

Noticing that Griselda was ignoring her - ignoring her more than usual, that was - Kino followed the Amazon's gaze. The figures advancing towards them were vaguely female. Their lithe forms were wrought from bark and wreathed in vine, and pale light shone from their eyes. There was murder in those eyes.

"Reckon those are real dryads?"

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Hildegarde watched Kino demonstrate his knowledge of illusions by acting like a show off. "Asshole." she thought bitterly. "We can all tell it's not real, no need to make a production out of it."

Suddenly, Hildegarde saw three figures approach them. They seemed to be made out of plant matter, and all of of them were covered in a greenish moss. Hildegarde rolled her eyes, and mentally prepared for a fight. "Of course they're green. Of course they are. Averax is fucked next time I see him."

The three dryads abruptly stopped in front of them. They opened their mouths, and spoke in unison.

"The slim, sharp blade that cuts the wind. What is it?"

Griselda stroked her chin thoughtfully, but Hildegarde threw back her head and groaned. "Really? Riddles? Averax couldn't come up with something more original?"

Alize

"Hmm..." pondered Kino. "Whatcha reckon it is? A razorhawk's feather? Blade of grass? My cousin Dirk after eating a spicy Essyrian bean dish?"

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Hildegarde stared at Kino, a blank expression on her face. "Are you serious? she thought angrily. "This is not the time or place!" Before she could say anything, the dryads spoke once more.

"Correct."

Griselda had picked a blade of grass off of the ground and and held it up for them to see. Hildegarde beamed. "Well! That takes care of that!" She clapped her lieutenant on the shoulder. "Nice one Griselda, that's gotta be a-"

"Now, the next riddle..."

Hildegarde's eye twitched. "Oh, come on..."

Alize

The dryad on the left spoke next:

"I am Willow. For four-hundred years have I watched the seasons turn."

The right-most sprite spoke next:

"I am Maple. Now listen closely."

The three spoke in unison:

"Willow is as old as Maple will be when Willow is twice as old as Maple was when Willow's age was half the sum of their present ages."

Maple giggled, then chimed:

"How old am I?"

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Hildegarde paled slightly- math had never been her best subject. "Damnit! Why couldn't you have asked a chemistry riddle? I'd be able to solve that no sweat!" The pink-clad woman looked at Griselda hopefully, only to see that her friend looked just as confused as she was. Hildegarde's expression softened. "I forgot- you don't really know math at all, do you?" Hildegarde looked back at the dryads. "Ugh, this is a waste of my time! Who the fuck puts riddles in their dungeon?"

The girl's eyes widened. "A waste of my time..."

Hildegarde smiled, and walked right past the dryads. As she did so, she reached out her arm as if to touch one of them. As she expected, her hand passed right through. The young woman looked back at her companions. "Come on, let's get moving." she said with a smile. "We'll keep getting riddles as long as we keep answering them. The only way we win is by not playing at all."

Alize

"How old am I?"

Before the dryad had finished her sentence, Kino's mind was already racing in three different directions at once.

She chewed her lower lip. She would solve this sum'bitch. "If Willow's age is X and Maple's is Y, then 2X equals Y plus..."

At the same time, her eyes darted across the illusory landscape.  It'd make sense 'fer the phantasmal forest to be a distraction from some other, physically solid threat. What looked out of place in this too-perfect-to-be-a-forest forest?

And if the dryads were actually real? Kino casually let her hand drift towards a bandolier of beakers strapped to her thigh. Third one down, Flenser's Flask of Fulminating Flames. "Ugly woodbitches would go up like tinder...."

Kino blinked as Hildegarde stepped forward and waved her hand through a dryad. As the egotistical gang leader merrily jaunted forwards through the woods with the she-hulk in tow, Kino's face flushed a bright, bright red in embarrassment over just how hard she'd been overthinking things. She hung her head down, glad that her face was hidden from her companions, and fell in line.

...........................................

About a hundred paces past the dryads, a massive old oak tree blocked the path forward. It had gnarled branches, lichen-encrusted bark and what was unmistakably a round brass handle protruding from its trunk.

"Y'dont' see a lotta trees with doorknobs, eh?"

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Hildegarde paused. There was no hinge of any sort on the tree- just A doorknob. "No..." she said suspiciously. "You don't." 

She gingerly reached out her hand to grasp it, only to pull it back when the doorknob emitted a low growl. It began to jerk about, as if there was something on the other side trying to open it. Looking a bit bit closer, Hildegarde saw something that was, in all honesty, stupid.

The doorknob had teeth.

Hildegarde turned towards Kino and Griselda. "Okay, you know what? I need to start up a second business, one that installs traps in people's dungeons for them." She pointed at the doorknob. "Because when people do it themselves, they make rediculous shit like this."

Alize

The doorknob flexed its jaws and began to gnash its brass teeth together in a series of sharp clack clack clacks. "And pray tell, miss Von Musel..." said Kino, procuring a small satchel from beneath her cloak and rummaging through it.

"...Just what sort of traps..."

She pulled out two vials of opaque fluid in her right hand, then began deftly spinning and twirling them both between her slim fingers. They bubbled and fizzed loudly.

"...Might you install?"

Holding one vial between her pinky and ring finger and another between her middle and index, she uncorked them both with a single swipe of her thumb. She poured the contents of one into the other. The clear liquids inside began to solidify into a syrupy purple. A flick of her wrist sent the viscous gel arcing towards the doorknob.

The brass knob strained against the tree it was anchored to, lunging forward and catching the lavender substance between its jaws. It paused for a moment, then tried to gnash its teeth again, only to find its jaws sealed firmly shut. Unable to open its mouth, the doorknob rocked violently back and forth, banging against the tree and grunting in impotent rage.

Kino cocked her head towards Hildegarde and playfully stated, "I'm a fan of quick-setting Cinmiralion adhesive traps, myself."

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Hildegarde watched as Kino methodically dismantled the trap with mild interest. "He takes everything way too seriously." she thought to herself. "He needs to lighten up, like, a lot."

"Toxic gas, obviously" Hildegarde said in answer to the man's question. "You can't see or smell it, and it won't show up with that bark stuff you use." She crossed her arms. "It's damn near flawless." she said, a hint of pride in her voice.

Kino had soon finished, and Hildegarde grasped the doorknob firmly. It writhed in her grasp, but it made no attempt to harm her. She twisted it and pulled...

And nothing happened. "Are you kidding me?" she said angrily. "Another decoy? What a-"

Griselda stepped forward, a bemused look on her face. She too twisted the doorknob, pushing instead of pulling. With a loud creak, the tree slid out of the way to reveal a trapdoor.

Hildegarde's cheeks flushed. "Oh. Yeah, I knew that."

"Damnit! I'm fucking up all over the place today!"

Alize

"Toxic gas is...", Kino paused for a moment. "Nasty. Nasty stuff."

As Griselda knelt down to examine the trap door, the alchemist snuck a glance at Hildegarde. How could the woman take everything so easily in stride?  They were in the middle of an addled wizard's playpen, fer the gods' sake! The fact that Averax was quite clearly senile was no excuse to relax or drop 'yer guard. Yet there she was, examining her nails with seemingly nary a care in the world. Did she truly trust Tall-Dark-And-Not-So-Handsome with her life? What was Hildegarde von Musel's real deal?

"Say, what'd our green-thumbed friend do t'insult you?"

Eckhart_Von_Musel

Averax, Griselda had decided, was an idiot. His traps feigned being complicated, but were easily figured out by anybody with critical thinking skills- something all three women had in spades. No, the best traps were the clever ones- Griselda's personal favorite was the doorway that teleported you back to the entrance, because that was clever.

As she knelt down to examine the trapdoor, Griselda heard Kino ask what Hildegarde's problem with Averax was. The large woman smirked- Hildegarde's answer was bound to be entertaining.

"He insulted my outfit." The girl said simply. "Told me I belonged in a whorehouse."

Griselda grinned. Hildegarde's room may well have been a whorehouse, seeing as the girl seemed to have a new boyfriend each week. No, Hildegarde's real reasons were fairly straightforward- she enjoyed doing bad things. No shame in that, of course- Griselda liked it too. 

The trapdoor opened with a click, and led to a dimly lit hallway. Griselda turned to Hildegarde, Kino, and Terrence- wait, he'd been with them the whole time? The Yorieqi woman blinked twice, and the boy seemed to fade into illusionary background. Shrugging, Griselda clapped her hands, the pointed to the trapdoor and gave a thumbs up.

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