Wing Walker

[Anonymous]

Valeska blinked and looked up as she heard him nickering again. Before she knew it Veguard was human and carrying her easily in her arms. A fairly dark blush came to her cheeks as her blue eyes locked with his for a second. In the next Valeska remembered exactly where she was, she was so surprised that she nearly jumped out of his arms. She stopped immediately when she heard his questions, and her body twitched in response.

She lowered her gaze before looking away. Her long bangs hid most of her face but anyone paying attention could see her silent tears falling from her chin. Her voice was again withdrawn, “…I…well, it would seem that your reason for feeling sadness yesterday has finally hit me so to speak. I knew what it meant, but I spent so much thought on how to avoid it…I suppose I’m not really making any sense…� She finally looked back to him, again her eyes the only clue to her feelings, though her tears were beginning to subside. “I have a better answer if you wish me to be blunt.�

[Anonymous]

Veguard tilted his head, wishing now that he had an extra arm so he could hold Valeska and also wipe her tears away. Well...maybe...
Veguard made a swift change to his wingwalker form, and gently brushed the tears from her chin with the very tips of his wing feathers.
Her response confused him though, and he was still unsure of why she was crying.
He frowned softly at her, letting his wings fold against his back as her tears subsided and she looked up at him.
"Well...I do not think I understand so...yes, be blunt, if you don't mind Lady Valeska..."

[Anonymous]

Valeska went completely still when he brushed her tears from her chin. She didn’t even breathe. She closed her eyes for a moment, sighing deeply, trying to find the right words. They were guilt ridden when she opened them. “I am sad for the exact same reason Veguard. Because you are not real, and I am terribly sorry to bring this up again. I…do not wish to cause you further pain…� Again Valeska looked away. She felt immediately that she may have been too blunt and should have found a more gentle response. But she reminded herself, that method had not worked just a few moments ago. To do so might only confuse him further.

[Anonymous]

Veguard opened his mouth, then shut it again, frowning. There was a strange twist of pain in his chest. Her words had...hurt him? Maybe he just didn't understand...
Not real...
What did she mean by that? Was he not here, holding her?
Not real...
Not real...

He took a bit of a deep breath, his brow furrowed. "I...I'm not sure I understand still. I'm sorry. What...what do you mean...not real?"

Why...why did those words bother him so? Why did his chest hurt when he thought of them...?
Not...real...

[Anonymous]

Valeska slowly turned her gaze to him again, a slightly confused look on her face. He doesn’t remember? Then I must fully explain myself… Her face betrayed her, showing the same sadness in her eyes. She didn’t look away this time, but her eyes did not meet his. Again she sighed, “you are not the same as I. You were not meant to be so, your true purpose only to aid me, so much that you would sacrifice yourself. But even something so noble made hollow, for you will only rise again. Given emotion for your chosen to better cope with you, but it is still false.� Tears began to come again, “And all this made worse because I have given you proper emotion, something you are not meant to have. I am sad because you are not a true being as I. I pity you for having to realize this in such a hard way. My guilt for this only made worse because even when you tell me it is not my fault, I still feel it is.� Valeska shocked herself with her own words, it had been many years since she had been so honest, but even more so by her next action. Instead of looking away as she had done before, she rested her head against him. “I am so sorry.�

[Anonymous]

Her words were sadly poetic, and pierced Veguard's heart. Right...he remembered now. Not real...he wasn't a real person. He was simply living magick.
This thought had never before bothered him so much...
Was it because of his new emotion??

Veguard gazed softly at the top of Valeska's head as she rested against him, unable to find words for the moment. "I..." He stopped, looking away. She was sorry, but it wasn't her fault. But he knew telling her that would do nothing. He could not leviate her guilt, unfortunately...

"I'm glad to know you, Lady Valeska." He realized then that he would be grieved to forget about her when his time with her was done. His chest tightened, and now he realized it to be true sorrow.
Veguard bowed over a bit, holding Valeska a bit tighter to his form. His eyes were wet with tears, a strange sensation for the spirit guide.
"I do not want to forget you..."

[Anonymous]

Valeska looked up as he spoke. She tensed a little when he held her closer, but relaxed as she saw his tears. Her gaze lowered for a moment as she cursed herself for causing Veguard further strife. She let out a shaky breath at what she was about to do. She reached and turned his face toward her, a hand on each cheek, and gave him a weak smile. Valeska hesitated for a moment before wrapping her slender arms around his neck. Then she surprised herself further, she kissed Veguards cheek, and then nuzzled her own cheek against his. “Thank you, I as well, am glad to know you.� She didn’t really know what else to say or how else to comfort him.

[Anonymous]

Veguard's vision was blurred by tears as Valeska turned his face toward hers. He could not muster a smile to return hers. He was surprised by her tenderness, and even more so when she suddenly placed her arms around his neck and hissed his cheek gently. Amber eyes stared past her as she rested against him, cheek to cheek.
The pain in his chest began to decrease slightly, but still he was sad.
"Thank you, Lady Valeska..."
A sudden thought then came to him.

"Lady Valeska...I have already felt true anger, and true saddness." He took a breath, his chest shuddering nervously.
"What if...what if I fall in love...?"

[Anonymous]

She blinked, for a moment her body froze. Oh dear, he has quite a knack for setting me on edge. Valeska let out a deep breathe before pulling back to meet his gaze, though she left her arms around his neck. Her tears had stopped by now and her eyes held worry and uncertainty. She opened her mouth but then shut it again, her eyes looked to the ground before meeting his gaze. “I…I’m sorry…but…I don’t know.� Valeska couldn’t tell what might happen if he were to do that. So far the emotions Veguard had managed to grasp were negative, which she also blamed herself for. She had seen these emotions exaggerated when he felt them, perhaps that happened with more positive emotions as well? She didn’t know. Her deep blue eye’s avoided his again. “Though…avoiding that is as simple as avoiding the other emotions you’ve already felt. Even so…I…don’t think you should seek it out at least.� Her heart ached when she said that, and why was something she was not exactly sure of. Likely it was something she would not admit for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Veguard sighed. He had been afraid of that. She didn't know...and neither did he. But as he had mentioned before, the worst outcome for all of this was that his spell would fail and he would cease to exist.
He couldn't let that happen.
He listened to the rest of what she had to say, and sighed again, closing his eyes.
"I...understand. I...I won't try to fall in love."
Of course, he couldn't possibly understand that often, love hits you whether you want it to or not.

Finally, Veguard set Valeska down. "I am very sorry to question you so much. And I am sorry to have broken your rule again." He bowed lightly to her. He was still worried however. Something about all this still bothered him.
What if...what if...
What would he do if it happened...?

[Anonymous]

Valeska nodded at his response, ignoring the dull ache in her heart. He set her down and she wiped away the rest her tears before looking up as he apologized. She blinked. Rule? What rule?Valeska should her head, “I’m not sure what rule you’re talking about but you shouldn’t be sorry for asking questions.� She gave a faint smile, “after all, I spent most of my life doing that. I already gave you permission to ask about me, as far as I’m concerned you can ask me anything. Though, like now I won’t always be able to answer for one reason or another.� Valeska wasn’t too nervous of the sort of questions Veguard would ask, as he wouldn’t ask anything embarrassing intentionally. And if that came up, as it so often did, she’d just have to get over it and tell him why she can’t really tell him.

[Anonymous]

Well, at least now he wouldn't have to worry so much about asking questions. He knew that often he asked things that made Valeska uneasy. But she told him not to be sorry, so he would try not to be bothered by it.
"I...sort of looked into your thoughts and feelings again, while I was in my true form. I'm sorry, you told me not to do that."

He sighed, looking down. "May I ask one more question?" He looked back into her eyes. "What does it feel like? Love, I mean."
Maybe if he knew what it felt like, it'd be easier to avoid it.
Of course, he didn't know just how complex love was, and how difficult a question he had just asked.

[Anonymous]

Oh…that rule. Valeska was not as annoyed about this anymore. She had noticed that the occasions he had read her thoughts had ether been unintentional or for good reason. And at ether time he never found the thoughts that were most troubling. Something she was grateful for.

Valeska blinked a couple times as a faint blush crossed her cheeks. Love? Her gaze lowered for moment eyes focused. “That…is a question not easily answered. It is many things,� her eyes softened. “But…I suppose the…principle thoughts behind love would be…when you feel you have found someone who ‘completes you’ so to speak. When you are with them you feel a…sort of peace…like all is right.� Of course to explain this Valeska had to use her memories, her time with Valerik. “You feel as if their happiness is all that matters…so much…that you would die for them…� She sighed and returned her gaze to Veguard, “it’s probably the most powerful emotion there is. But it’s also like a sword, beautiful and dangerous. Love may go astray for one reason or another…if love is the best emotion one could experience, heartbreak…would have to be the worst.�

[Anonymous]

Veguard had a growing sense of dread as Valeska continued to list off all the things that made up love. But that...that sounded just like...
But that couldn't be, could it? Wouldn't it be more obvious?
No...that couldn't be it...

"But...but Lady Valeska..." He looked at her with worried amber eyes, wings twitching behind him. "I know you have been in love but...that can't be right. I would know if I were in love with you, wouldn't I? I would feel something special, right?" He seemed a bit flustered.
"You described how I feel, but...I'm not in love, right?"
That really...it really couldn't be true...could it...?

[Anonymous]

Valeska stepped back when he asked that, a furious blush on her cheeks. Her heart skipped and it pounded in her ears. She looked away. That is true, Veguard meets those qualifications, but only up to a point. “What I said was from a logical stand point, but that is only half the equation. Love is not logical. The rest is something I can’t really describe, but yes. There is a sort of feeling that accompanies love…sort of…like happiness…only stronger…and a sort of contentness as well I think…it is difficult to describe. As for knowing…yes, you could tell if you were in love or not, though when you know is something else… some learn too late.�

She sighed tiredly, “and now I’m being a bit contradictory. I’m sorry…but this is not something that is easily made sense of.� She looked back into his eyes, her heart began to ache again, “I would assume this means you are not in love with me. That is…good, since we don’t know what might happen.� Though this hurt her inside Valeska only showed her concern for him.

[Anonymous]

He realized how complicated it all was as Valeska struggled to explain it further to him. So then...he wasn't in love? Or was he, and he just didn't know it yet?
Ah, he was beginning to wish he hadn't brought it up at all in the first place!
And during the entire conversation, the ache in his chest had actually been growing, not decreasing.
"Yes well, I guess it is good then. I...I..."

Veguard froze, his muscles locking up suddenly and painfully. What...what was going on...?
The pain in his chest blossomed, and Veguard gagged, blood spilling from his mouth before he collapsed.
He couldn't move, blood leaking from his mouth, an oppressive weight on his chest, crushing him.
His spell...oh no, his spell...!
And then Veguard's world went dark.

(aaaand...that was sudden. Lol.)

[Anonymous]

Valeska’s body tensed when he froze up, her eyes grew worried. “Veguard? What’s wrong,� then blood spilled from Veguards mouth and he fell. With out really thinking Valeska came forward to catch him, but really only succeeded in breaking his fall. She landed in a sitting position with her arms around his waist and his head over her shoulder. Valeska blushed darkly. Fainting aside, Veguard was essentially laying on her, not to mention her lips being against the base of his neck. She shivered, her body heated up and her heartbeat raced. Oh my. Valseka quickly lifted her chin over his shoulder and took a deep calming breath. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it!

She shook him a little, “Veguard? Veguard…� He’s unconscious…what happened this time? …Maybe…maybe we should stop talking about emotions all together, it seems like anytime we get to close to feelings something happens to him. …And it’s usually painful…Valeska sighed sadly. She laid him gently on his back, and wiped the blood from his mouth then turned his head to the side should he cough again. After that she placed his hands on his chest, why she did not know, likely because then it only looked like he was sleeping. Valeska sighed again, sitting cross-legged by Veguard, waiting for him to come to.

[Anonymous]

Veguard did indeed cough again. Quite a few more times. Blood continued to spill from his mouth with every shuddering heave of his muscular chest. It wasn't looking good. Of course, normally, even if Veguard died, he would just come back again.
But what about now? This could very well have to do with his spell...
In which case...he might not come back...

Veguard coughed a few more times, the pain of it all threatening to wake him. As he lay there, a slight golden glow started up under his hands, still resting on his chest. It was similar to the glow he had first put off, when he had been in a sort of egg form.
Was his spell breaking down??

The glow intensified beneath his hands, his breathing becoming labored...

[Anonymous]

Valeska grew more nervous as she waited, and having to watch Veguard cough up more blood wasn’t helping. It pained her to see him like this. Her whole body became jittery with worry. Her eyes widened at the glow, realizing she knew it. She began to panic a little. What could she do? It might work…it’s all I’ve got for now. Valeska moved Veguards hands aside and placed a hand on his chest were the glowing seemed to be coming from.

Earlier, when she had explained her current state, Valeska had said she lost all her magick. That wasn’t true. Valeska knew that there was always some reserve power left that she couldn’t access. It only made itself apparent in a life-threatening situation. When dealt a fatal blow, one that would give a human only seconds before death, Valeska would have at least a half-hour. It wasn’t likely, but she hoped Veguard would draw on this magick if she made it available. She then leaned down a little, “Veguard? Veguard please wake up…� She felt a little guilty for trying to wake him, but she might have a better idea of what to do if he were conscious.

[Anonymous]

Where his hands had laid there was a large golden spot on his chest, glowing as he had as a spirit entity only. When Valeska placed her hand over it, she would find it to only be semi-solid, and her hand sunk into his chest.
As this happened, Veguard began choking and gagging worse than before, his body quivering.

Within his chest, the glowing became warmer. There was also a pulsing, almost like...
...a heartbeat.
Could it really be that the glowing spot was a path to his heart?
The glowing was becoming brighter, the spot in his chest seeming to get bigger as time passed.
What if his spell really was breaking apart...
Would he dissapear into nothingness...?