It had been rough, especially when Evangeline had found out she was pregnant. The more she began to show, the harder is was for her to survive in the capital, or anywhere near it. It had also made it impossible for much progress to be made in rescuing the remainder of her family. She was by no means helpless, but she had more than just herself to think about and protect.
She knew who the father was, the only man she had slept with. When the child was born though, it was undeniable. Born with a head full of dark red hair, only a couple shades lighter than Dekka's own hair. The child also had one green eye that was the exact shade of Dekka's the other the same shade except for a hint of yellow around the pupil, making it match Evangeline's own green eye. She could see Dekka in her son beyond that, even some of the expressions he made.
Evangeline wouldn't tell her son, who she named Wesley, about Dekka though. Dekka wasn't ready to be a father and wasn't exactly the type of man she would want to raise her son. It was hard though, she had no idea what she was going to tell her family when she returned with a bastard son but without the rest of her family. It all weighted heavily on her.
She carried her son in fabric sling tied around her body that held Wesley securely against her chest. She had on a heavy cloak that was a muted grey, using it to help protect herself and Welsey from the harsh elements of a Connoath winter.
She rushed down a street, the hood of her cloak pulled up. Wesley was silent, comfortable against his mothers chest. Evangeline had to go to the market, she might be able to do without many things, but she now had a child to look after.
He had planned to leave Connlaoth, to get the hell out of here before he really would lose his head. But he was too depressed to get much farther than this small village, and he had more than enough coin to get drunk. So there he was, taking in drink after drink. He was already wasted. But he intended to drink enough to simply black out.
The tavern was already busy, which was a fact that didn't surprise her. She made her way past, but a chance glance inside as the door swung open left her breathless. She felt as if she had been hit in the chest by a ton of bricks. She kept moving, she couldn't let Dekka see her, she had to walk away, just like she told him she would do. It was hard though, damn near agonizing. Of course the man had to wander his way into the same village she had made a home in. She cursed under her breath. She could already tell it wouldn't end well.
Lucky for Evangeline, Dekka was too drunk to recognize her. He was all alone inside the bar, not even bothering to flirt with the well busted bar maid who was serving him. WHen she came around to ask him if he'd like anything else, he knocked his head back, finished his drink and ordered some more.
He looked like a wreck, and the extra wrinkles on his face made it all too clear- as did the sleepless look of dark circles under his eyes- and perhaps- a few grey hairs he had missed pulling out woven into his braid.
Evangeline stopped as the image on Dekka had finally sunk in. He looked horrible, it seemed life had treated him even worse. She looked down at the ruby ring still on her and, then to Wesley. She sighed deeply and turned on her heels. She would not go into the bar, no, she had to walk away, but she had one thing she had to return to Dekka, to completely separate herself from from him. She spun the ring around her finger before taking it off.
It was easy enough to wrap it in cloth and pay a kid to give it Dekka so she could walk away for good.
Not feeling he was getting drunk fast enough, the 'King of Thieves' stood up from the table and stumbled his way over to the bar. He bumped into a woman there along the way, and grumbled, "Hey- watch it-" But when he saw it was a woman with a child, he snorted.
"Babies don't belong in bars," he siad, his words half slurred before he turned away from the cloaked woman and nodded towards the bar tender.
"Hey- I ordered another round of drinks."
And as he did so, he held onto the bar for support. The world was spinning- just a little bit, as if he were riding on a boat. But hey, this wasn't drunk enough- and he was paying good coin- god damn it! The least they could do was serve him promptly!
Evangeline paid a boy of no more than ten, she stood outside of the bar, the second half of the money she promised the boy in hand.
The boy wandered into the bar, on his rosy face exposed. He held the small clothe wrapped package in his hand. He knew that a few more coins waited outside, and he already had a couple of coins in his pocket as payment for the simple task.
He walked to the man of the woman's discription, one couldn't really miss the man, especially when there was so few people in the bar.
"Sir?" The boy spoke, as he held out his gloved hand with the package in it.
"This package is for you."
Dekka turned to the child with a skeptical look.
"A package?" He wrinkled his nose and looked down at what the boy held.
"What the hell is that?"
The boy shrugged.
"The lady just told me to give it to ya," The boy said as he placed it on the bar in front of Dekka.
Still drunk, he figured there was no harm in checking to see what it was. But after opening the folds of the clothe and peering down at the glittering ruby, he suddenly shot a hand out and grabbed the boy roughly by the wrist.
"Who gave this to you?" he snapped gruffly.
Fear sparked in the boys eyes, his face going ghostly white and his throat dry.
"Uh... uh.. a-a w-w-woman. She had a b-b-baby," The boy stuttered, using his hand to point in the direction that Evangeline was waiting for him to return so she could pay him the rest of the money she promised.
He was too drunk to catch it all. He just heard there was a.woman waiting for him, and that meant one thing- Evangeline Warren was here. Growling still, he got.to his feet and demanded, "Take me to this woman!" He was in no mood for games!
The boy nodded, terror still written on his face. He turned and lead Dekka out of the door and straight for Evangeline.
Evangeline saw Dekka, and her heart skipped a beat. She turned on her heels, her cloak hood up and started walking away.
"There she is, the grey cloak!" The boy said pointing out to Dekka.
Growling, he released his grip on the boy's wrist and took off after her. There was no way in hell she'd get away with that while he was this moody. And though he was drunk, he managed to get to her and by the time he reached her, he grabbed her roughly by the wrist and pulled her to him.
"Vangie, it's been sometime," he told her, though the grin he wore was not pleased as he recognized her face. But the cooes and sudden coughing cry of the baby in her arms caught his attention as he looked down at the child and froze.
If looks could kill Dekka would surely be dead as Evangeline looked up at him.
"Damn you Dekka," She spoke shortly.
She then cast her gaze down to her child, she ran a soothing hand over Wesley's wild red hair.
"Shhhh," She spoke, her voice like soothing honey as she began to gently bounce the child to calm him.
Red hair.
Very red hair.
The baby had very, very red hair-
and if he didn't know better- it looked like the kid had his nose.
Trying to shake off his surprise to find the baby, he opened the clothe and shook the ring at her.
"What the fuck, Vangie? You managed to get this off and you want to fucking give it back? Well, fuck you! You should have fucking sold it if you wanted to be rid of it!"
She didn't say anything until she managed to calm Wesley.
Finally she looked up at Dekka, her face instantly contorting into a frown. Even though Dekka didn't know she had been pregnant, and though she didn't try to find him, and though he didn't know the baby she held in her arms was his, she held resentment towards him for it all.
Going through the pregnancy alone had made her stronger though, now, no matter how weak she felt, she had to be strong for her son. She had to be his mother and father figure.
"Its yours Dekka, I thought you could use it. Here is an idea, use it to get yourself a piece of ass, since you like it so much. Oh, even better, go give it to your little love bird the Grand Duchess, though I doubt she will wear it!" She spat out at Dekka.
"Gods, fucking damn it, Vangie!" he said, throwing the ring violently onto the ground. "If you didn't want a confrontation you shoulda just fucking left me alone. The brat you're holding ain't going to stop me from fucking harassing you over this. I'm fucking drunk and mad, and you just pushed me over the edge."
And as if on cue, the baby began to wail.
"Shhhh, Wesley," She spoke her voice returning to its soothing tone. She pulled him out of the sling that held the child against her chest and held him in her arms. She started to hum softly before looking back at Dekka.
"Lets make one thing clear mother fucker. I will kill your low life whoremonger ass over my child, understand? I don't give a flying fuck if you are mad or if you are drunk. If you want to bring MY child up in a conversation his name is Wesley, and you better only be complementing what a handsome son I can produce by myself, understand? You think you are pushed over the edge? You don't know what pushed over the edge is," Evangeline growled as she paced slightly with Wesley, rocking him gently to calm him down. Wesley's big green eyes looking up between Evangeline and Dekka as his wails slowly turned into soft cooes.
Dekka had a mouthful of words to spit at her, but the sight of the child, and her proclamation it was hers made him wrinkle his face.
"He doesn't look a fucking thing like you. In fact, he looks more like me than..."
And his thoughts stopped short right there-
No way. No fucking way. He was too drink to fully digest that. But it had been a long enough time since they had last parted...
and it wasn't like he was careful when they fucked. And he came into her- she took his seed...
And his stomach dropped a little at the thought-
Did Evangeline give birth to his child? Gods- yes, he must still be drunk! (of course, he was!) but still! He just could not believe this! Maybe he was going crazy? He groaned inwardly. He needed another few drinks.
"Wesley is not yours," Evangeline spoke as soon as it seemed that was where Dekka was heading. She turned her back to Dekka, she wished he would just leave, or maybe the fact that the child could be his would scare his away, though she doubted she would have such luck. With her back to Dekka she sighed silently as she remembered there last time together but the bittersweetness of the moment was quickly overshadowed by the resentment she held towards him for being so persistent on how they 'needed' it, and the disappointment she held against herself for not resisting him.
Dekka stopped short of pulling her to look at him. He didn't have to, he could still see the baby that looked like him over her shoulder.
"As if I'd fucking believe that," he growled softly, but did not approach. "He's got my fucking nose..."
Which, to him, was an odd thing to say.
Angsar's name- was he really a father?
"You are drunk Dekka, and by the rumors I hear probably upset, didn't the Grand Duchess just have the Grand Duke's child?" Evangeline spoke, just hoping he would go away.
"Like hell I'm fucking drunk!" he growled, finally approaching her and roughly grabbing her shoulder. But seeing the reaction of the child, he winced and muttered a curse and an apology.
"That has nothing to do with this, Vangie. And if I'm not his father, who fucking is?"
"Dekka, I smell the alcohol on your breath, and you were in a tavern. Don't try to argue with me that you are drunk, I know you are," Evangeline said as she took several steps away from Dekka as if he might be a danger to Wesley or herself.
"Does it even fucking matter who else is the father? Its not you okay, that is all that matters, that should be a relief for you. Less to hold you down or back from the rambling life you love to live!"
Dekka growled and didn't let the topic drop.
"I wasn't talking about me being drunk. THat much is fucking obvious. What I'm saying is you're a fucking liar. Say that to my fucking face the baby ain't mine, Vangie. Say it and I'll eat that fucking ring you sent back to me and grovel at your fucking feet, licking your boots clean."
Evangeline turned and faced him her jaw set as she looked at Dekka in silence for several long moments.
"I don't want you to eat the ring, I don't want you to grovel at my feet or lick my boots," Evangeline started out with a deep sigh, looking down at Wesley for a moment before looking back up.
"For one I don't know why me returning that ring angered you so much. It wasn't an engagement ring, it definitely wasn't a marriage ring, it was something you stole. Second off, does it really matter if he is your son or not? Wouldn't it just be simpler to let me raise him by myself? I won't let him grow up with a womanizing father with little to no respect with an ego few could match. Plus, you aren't one to stick around you are a drifter, and I will not subject my child to such heart break. Last, but not least, you still chase after the Grand Duchess, which, if Wesley was your son, would put him in danger of facing the wrath of the Grand Duke when he finally has enough of it."
Dekka was taken back. He needed a minute for his head was swimming and he barely registered what she said.
"So you're fucking admitting it is mine?"
"MY child is not an it, HIS name is Wesley," Evangeline spoke, straining to keep her her voice as soft and pleasant as to not upset Wesley again.
She took a deep breath, looking down at Wesley, reaching down and running her thumb over his cheek.
"I never said he was though... I need to get him inside though, it is, after all, very cold out here, so if you will excuse me," Evangeline said as she turned to walk towards the cabin she had been staying in since the later part of her pregnancy.
Dekka was seething, but after a moment when she turned and began to leave, he followed after her with a growl.
"Wait!" he hissed, stumbling a bit in his drunken state.
"You're staying here?" And with a baby!? He assumed a bit wrongly...
Evangeline neither waited or answered his question. She wasn't just going to stand out in the cold where herself and her child would freeze. Not to mention though she wasn't nearly as well known as Dekka, she was still wanted, at least in the capital, and if someone recognized her from the capital, it would all be over. She couldn't risk it.
She walked fast, figuring if he wanted to talk that bad he would keep up, drunk or not.
Seeing her give him the shoulder and simply walk off made him growl as he stormed after her- but not before scooping up the ruby (it was expensive, after all!) and pocketing it.
"This doesn't make any fucking sense, Vangie. Even if I am the father or whoever the fuck is, if you've got a kid- what the fucking hell are you still doing in Connlaoth?!"
Evangeline didn't stop until she was at the small little house towards of the edge of the village. She didn't go inside. She stopped at the door, silent before turning looking at Dekka.
"I can't just go home Dekka, it isn't that simple," She started, looking down at Wesley.
"I can't just go home with a bastard son, not only that but an almost complete failure of what I came here in the first place to accomplish. I can't go home until I get the rest of my family home, and even than, it doesn't mean I will be welcome Dekka," She explained before turning on her heels and going into her house.
Dekka only registered some of what she said before following after her.
"So your pride is worth more than your child's life? Gods, Vangie, I didn't take you as that heartless of a bitch."
At those words the temperature in he room rose and Wesley once again started waling.
"It has nothing to do with my pride Dekka, and since he isn't yours it isn't any of your damn business," Evangeline growled. She lit a fire in the fire place with relative ease and sat in a rocking chair, beginning to rock Wesley to calm him. She all but ignored Dekka's presence, looking down at Wesley, running her hand over his wild red hair.
"Yeah? Then what other red-head were you fucking?" he asked, having no patience for this. He was already convinced it was his and well- this was the LAST place he'd want a child of his right now. The war was only getting worse and he had a feeling it would only progress into Hell.
"I have a thing for red heads Dekka, so don't feel special, you are not the only one I fucked," She said simply, her voice calm but clearly aggravated.
"I would subject my son to the emotional whims of a man who doesn't know what he wants or who he wants. This is all about the Grand Duchess and her new child isn't it, what
I told you last time finally sinking in?"
Dekka cut her a look, but held his tongue for a moment, processing that and the last conversation they had had. He shook his head.
"Fuck the Grand Duchess. We're talking about you, Vangie and how we're going to get you the hell out of this country."
Evangeline was quiet for a long time, the internal battle of whether to tell him or not. Still, she felt not telling his was the right choice. Wesley soon drifted off to sleep.
"Why did you get so angry that I returned the ring?" she spoke, finally breaking the silence.
Dekka went quiet at the question- confused why she asked it.
"Because I'm fucking drunk. Why?" he spat back, suddenly feeling quite soured. Though that too, could have been the alcohol.
She knew then, for certain that she had made the right decision. Dekka was the father, and she knew Dekka could see it, but she would never admit it. Dekka would cause more damage to his son than he would do if he wasn't there. He was an alcoholic, a casanova, a liar. A man too complicated for a son to have to try to figure out. She knew Dekka caring caused more harm than it help against, and she knew that from personal experience.
"Leave Dekka. I don't need or want your help and Wesley isn't yours so you have no reason to stay. You could always run into the arms of the Grand Duchess," She spoke, her words emotionless.
Dekka laughed, a hollow sound.
"If I wanted to be in her fucking arms, I'd be there, instead of being a pathetic fucking drunken asshole and chasing after you. You're not good at lying, Vangie- and I should be too drunk to fucking tell. Just promise me one thing and I'll fucking leave you alone."
Evangeline looked down, shaking her head slowly.
What ever thoughts she was having she kept to herself though, she just needed him to leave.
"What is it that you need me to promise Dekka?" She spoke slowly, all of her attention on Wesley's sleeping face.
"Take the ring," he said, setting it down with a clank on the table beside her. "Cash it in somewhere- get the money for it- and at least get your child the hell out of this country."
"I don't want it Dekka," She spoke slowly, her words soft but harsh sounding. She didn't want the damn thing.
"I gave it back for a reason, you keep it, hell you can use it to drink yourself to death, your close enough. You were once a man, not a per say good one, but a man none the less. Now you are pathetic, a shell of yourself. If you were Wesley's father, you should be so ashamed of yourself that you should be thanking me for protecting him from the mental scars you would inflict."
And that, Dekka's rage boiled over the top as he slammed his hand onto the table and got right up into Evangeline's face.
"How the fuck would you know what kind of father I'd fucking be? All you do is skirt around, whatever the fuck this is we have, Vangie. Fuck, if you hated me so much, why'd you keep opening your legs? You can't be that much of a fucking slut. And Angsar knows you didn't make it all that easy." And with another angered slam tot he table, he growled and added, "Now just take the fucking ring Vangie, get the hell out of Connlaoth and don't you ever fucking come back!!"
An it wasn't a request, but a demand.
"Don't make me fucking carry you both all the way out of hte boarder, cause i swear to fucking God I will, you stupid cunt. Think about your fucking child. Is this really a place to raise him?"
Something inside of Evangeline broke, tears filled her eyes and soon spilled over on her cheeks but she didn't say anything. Wesley of course was waling the noise from Dekka hitting the table and him yelling waking him up. She knew if she went home she would hear something very similar but it would hurt even worse. She wasn't ready.
"Take him then Dekka, couldn't have a stupid cunt raising your son, could we," She whispered. She didn't move to comfort him like she had before as if she was numb to his cries, like she didn't hear them at all. Of course Dekka could point a finger, question her decisions but what it came down to was she had done it all by herself without him. Hell, even if she had hunted him down she doubted he would have been there.
"Now you can take that fucking ring, and your son, and do it by yourself like I have and I can run free and do what ever the fuck I want to and drown my self loathing in alcohol instead of worrying about feeding my son."
Dekka remained quiet- it seemed her words sent him into a sobering shock. He didn't even know what to do or how to answer that. He was only used to bickering to her until the usual- she'd cave in, then hate him later. But even when she supposedly admitted what he believed already to be true, the cold hard facts settled in- and it was then he began to doubt a lot of things in his life.
"Gods fucking damn," he cursed softly beneath his breath, words nearly drowned out by his crying son.
His son. Did she mean it or was she just trying to please him like all of those times. And then to say she'd desert him and then mock his own pathetic inebriation...
His lips curled back in a scowl before he pulled Vangie and her child from the chair and suddenly embraced her-
and even he didn't know why.
But he felt like he needed it, wondered if she did, and by the Gods, he had no idea how to treat a wailing child. And in that moment, something weak in him broke as he buried his face into her neck and- in all of hte years he had been alive he had never shed a single tear-
but she'd feel a few stray one's landing warm and wet upon her neck, though nothing more as he tried to steel back whatever this was rising up from his belly and forcing him to feel like the incomplete fool that he was.
Evangeline didn't want Dekka to touch her. He had told her what he saw her as, weak, a slut, and a stupid cunt. She didn't resist though, she just stood there, like stone. She looked down at Wesley, a spitting image of Dekka, and it only served to make her sicker.
Still it was her son, and even in the cold state she was in, she soothed him enough to settle him down. She didn't reach to embrace Dekka, to soothe or comfort him. She honestly could care less, his words had cut deep and would not be soon forgotten.
"Are you done?"
At her reaction, he simply stepped away, head low and eyes threatening with more tears. It served to anger him like no other, but at her coldness- a coldness he knew he deserved, he scooped upt he ring and shoved it into her hand before growling out a, "Fuck you."A nd exiting her home, slamming the door behind him.
"You already did," She mumbled as he left. She felt herself weaker than ever before. She dropped the ring in the floor as if it were something disgusting and moved to the bed. She would stay there, only moving to feed or change Wesley. It was so unfair, yet he acted like he was the victim when he was the one who chose all the heart ache he had.
She knew after she got too dehydrated she wouldn't be able to feed Wesley anymore, but she honestly didn't care. She was numb. She didn't love Dekka or at least she wouldn't call it love, wouldn't admit to it. He had been the only one she had remotely felt anything for, and all she was to him was a whore, what did she expect? She didn't think Dekka would go too far, she would almost guarantee he would be watching. So maybe once she got that bad he would take Wesley and leave? She could only hope.
Too intoxicated too get too far, Dekka found himself back at Evangeline's place. It was a cold night, his breath coming out in streams of white smoke. And long after the candles had burne dout within her home, he snuck in.
Both she and her child were resting- but both appeared uneasy. And the place was quiet- too quiet, except for the gentle breathing of mother and child.
For a long moment, Dekka simply stared down at Evangeline, his head pounding from the alcohol and his entire being feeling like shit.
Fuck. He was a father. What was he to do now? And why couldn't he keep his eyes off of Vangie?
Evangeline still had all the instincts from being a bounty hunter, she knew he would come back. The point was she didn't care. She was too exhausted and drained, both mentally and physically. She was in a deep sleep when Dekka snuck into the house, herself and Wesley wrapped in thick blankets, the child laying on her chest.
Dekka kept watch for many long hours into the night, his mind and thoughts racing, and though completely exhausted, he couldn't sleep. He simply watched, waited, and that was all.
"There are extra blankets in that cabinet," Evangeline finally spoke, though it was just a whisper. She turned her head, and opened her eyes, looking at Dekka, her face blank.
For a good long while, he stared at her. His face was tired, but so was hers, even in it's listless state.
"Are you cold?"
"A bit, but not much, it seems Wesley will be a fire mage like his father, a personal heater as well," Evangeline whispered.
Dekka froze at that statement, but said nothing, simply moved to where the blankets were and brought one over and draped it across her and Wesley's form.
Evangeline moved her eyes from Dekka to Wesley who was still asleep. She ran her thumb over his cheek gently. His red hair was wild. She sighed deeply. Before too long it would be dawn and Wesley would wake, like he always did, to be fed and changed. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. It was several minutes before she opened her eyes again, moving them to the ruby ring that still laid in the floor.
"Why did you come back?"
"I don't know," he said coarsely, a frown deepening as he watched the two. "My feet just brought me here."
"Did you mean what you said earlier?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper. She was still looking at the ring in the floor, her eyes not venturing up to meet Dekka's.
"I said a lot of things earlier," Dekka half growled, but the growl was still soft... tired.
Evangeline let out a deep sigh, "I'll just take that as a yes then," she whispered, still one could easily hear the sadness in her voice.
As if on cue Wesley's tiny form shifted as he began to wake. It wouldn't be long before light began to shine over the horizon. Evangeline sat up slowly, careful not to jar Wesley.
"Would you like to hold your son?"
Dekka remained quiet, though tired, the conversation sobered him. He stared down at the child.
"Do you think that's wise?" He.never held a child before, not really. In fact, part of him feared it.
"As long as you don't drop him or shake him I think he will be just fine," Evangeline replied dryly.
Dekka frowned, but found himself nodding before taking the child gently.into his arms. He had almost forgotten to breath when the child nearly punched him with a flailing hand. At that, even the king of thieves gave a smile through a breath.
"He's your son, alright." And by the looks at him, even so young...
It was evident it was also his.
Evangeline couldn't hide the smirk that crossed her face.
"Relax, he isn't nearly as fragile as he looks," she spoke softly as she sat up and watched Wesley and his father.
Dekka gave a subtle smirk as he cradled the babe more closely in his arms.
"Well if he's our child.... I wouldn't doubt his resilience."
"If?" Evangeline asked raising an eyebrow. She didn't sound offended more questioning his doubts.
" He is yours, it's pretty obvious just looking at him, he is a spitting image of you."
Dekka just stared at his son, feeling a sense well over him at the revelation. And at that, he fully smirked.
"Yeah... but it's nice for you to finally say it."
Evangeline shook her head, whatever she was thinking she was keeping it to herself though. She didn't want to argue, she didn't have the strength.
Finally after several minutes she reach up to Dekka so he would hand her back Wesley, "It need to feed him before he gets fussy."
Dekka smirked and looked over at her.
"But I think he just fell asleep."
"Then when he gets fussy you can calm him down," Evangeline replied crossing her arms. She then laid back down, moving to the far side of the bed so Dekka could lay down if he chose to do so. Even though Dekka wasn't the most reliable person, and she knew how he could be she completely trusted Dekka with their son.
"Yeah, I'll just grow a pair of milk filled breasts and feed him. Or go find a wet nurse who doubles as a whore."
"Dekka, I am in no mood for that shit okay! While you have been whoring around with your little love bird I have had to be a parent," She spoke harshly, turning her back to Dekka.
Dekka looked over at Evangeline. And at his mother's sharp tone, Wesley Blade began to cry.
Startled by the infants sudden change in disposition, Dekka tried to mimic when he saw the Grand Duchess tend to her own child. She made it look so easy...
But Wesley was having none of it as he wailed and wailed.
Evangeline shook her head once more. She was simply too tired for the back and forth she use to do with Dekka.
She reached out her hands for her child.
"It will take some time of you being around, you are a stranger to him," She said simply. Though inside she was dying to say more, to cut deeper with her words she held herself back. She had to tend to Wesley.
"Yeah, well it's not like there was a fucking chance for me to be around until now now was there? Besides, what harm can come of me knowing it's mine?" he went on, handing over the child.
"Besides... I could have helped you."
He wasn't completely heartless.
Just...
completely selfish.
But to have something he made....
and made with her...
Well, this was just a very different feeling that had become him.
Dekka was a father...
What next?
Evangeline rolled her eyes, "you are rediculous, really Dekka," she spoke, her voice still harsh. She slipped down a side of her top and moved Wesley towards her chest. It didn't take long for Wesley to settle down and start to feed.
And Dekka watched. In silence.
And it wasn't a perverted stare, but one of subtle fascination. He had never really witnessed such an act. Not completely, really. And definitely not with the mother of his child.
Once Wesley was done feeding Evangeline was exhausted. Feeding him always took it out of her. She cradled Wesley gently against her chest, hoping he would drift off again after being fed, but knew it was highly unlikely.
"Who has seen you? You are far more recognizable than myself, and I can't run like I use to, not in my current condition and not with Wesley," She finally spoke.
"Seen me? You think I got the guards comin' after me right now?"
"Its a possibility, you didn't know Wesley existed," Evangeline replied with a deep sigh.
"Yeah, but you think it's that easy for the guards to find me?" Dekka had to laugh at that.
"Dekka, it isn't about it being hard for them or not, its that fact that if there is a chance you could put your son's life in danger," She spoke, her tone controlled but tense.
Dekka frowned as he thought it over.
"I suppose there's no denying that. Who I am... what I am.... what I've done... it does come with a hefty price."
"Yes, your head," Evangeline replied closing her eyes and leaning her head back.
"If you are going to stay here you will have to be extra careful. If you are going to be careless and put Wesley in danger you should just leave now," Evangeline spoke, as she tried to relax.
"I'm not here to cause trouble, Vangie."
But then he thought back to his state last night. He cringed. He still had that pounding head ache.
"In fact, I'm done being the King of Anything right now."
"What finally brought about the fall of the king of thieves? Something to do with your little love bird no doubt," Evangeline spoke, her words turning bitter.
Dekka didn't even bother to answer that. He was still bitter over everything, and for the moment, he went numb.
"I will take that as a yes," She spoke softly, her tone shifting from bitter to sad.
"What does it matter? She's just as tangled up int his war as you are. But you at least have a choice." And he meant it when he said, "You need to get out of fucking Connlaoth. I can help you. But we'll have to do it soon."
"Its not that simple Dekka. I will have no where to go, my family will not take me back I already know. So I will be left to try to bring up Wesley alone. I can't do what I have been trained to do my entire life, and raise a child at the same time. Unlike you, I don't really have the option of simply running away from my problems," Evangeline spoke softly.
"I think not leaving is damning you, Vangie," he told her sternly. "What good would it do for you to stay here? And raise the boy amongst war?"
Evangeline's frustration was clear on her face, it seemed something he said stuck a nerve.
"You are so focused on how I need to do this and do that for Wesley. All of it coming from a man who didn't even know he had a son until several hours ago. If I had hunted you down when I was pregnant I doubt much would have been different. I would bet money you would have denied it being yours Dekka. If you deny that you are a damn liar. So who are you to say what is best for Wesley. Do you even plan on being in his life?! Or are you just going to run away like you do all of your other problems? Earlier you said all I did was skirt around what we have. What do you Have Dekka. What is this? You know what, it doesn't matter I am just a stupid cunt raising your son, remember," Evangeline spoke, her voice sharp but controlled.
"You still didn't answer my question. All I hear is how much you're pissed of and hate me."
"Well what good would it do to raise him without his father?!" Evangelize replied her frustrated tone only growing.
Dekka wasn't exactly expecting that as a response. Taking a step back, he observed her with a frown.
"What's this got to do with me? You fuckin' expecting me to just scoop you up and carry you off to Serendipity? That ain't my style, Vangie, and this ain't your war. It's too dangerous, and you fucking know it. And with me as his father... even doubly so."
"I don't expect you to do anything Dekka. All you are good at is running from your problems and responsibilities. How sad you are. I actually pity you. What should I tell Wesley about his father. Should I spare him and just say you died or wait till he is old enough and just tell him the truth so he can hunt you down and you have to answer to him?"
Dekka cut her a look. But she was right.
"This ain't about me, Vangie. It's about our child. Or fuck, any child. It's doing what's right for them because fuck... They can't protect themselves and they didn't fucking ask to be born into a war. Now I can help you get close to the border... But you have to promise me you'll go. And I don't fucking care what you tell Wesley, but he'll be better off without my fucking influence anyway."
"Why don't you take your charity else where. I don't need it. If you aren't going to be in Wesley ' s life I have no use for you. What a shame, more interest in chasing after the Dutchess's coat tales. I don't think Wesley will take the fact that his own father had more interest in the Duke ' s child rather than his own." Evangeline replied.
"That's not fucking true and you know it!" Dekka snapped. "It's the whole fucking package... My life is a sin. A child has no.place there, Vang."
"And that is an excuse. Cause, the funny thing about life, is you can change it. You could leave too. You don't want that. You don't want to be a father, and because you didn't have to give birth to him you get the choice and I do not. Do you think a child fit in my life? It doesn't matter I suppose, " Evangeline spoke shaking her head as she held Wesley close. She gently ran her fingers through the child's red hair.
"No, but I suppose it's the chain all women bare," he found himself replying, though the words were forced. He wasn't sure if he meant it, but a pang of guilt gripped at his belly the moment he said it, and he dropped his gaze to their child and thought back to when he realized he had lost his own child that the Grand Duchess gave birth to. And had he been around when her depression hit...
Would things have gone differently? Would the child have survived? And would the Grand Duchess still not question the relationship they shared?
He wasn't sure, but all he knew was that his life was utterly fucked up and he had no idea which way to go.
"Dekka, I can't deal with you right now. I can tell you are going through something right now, I can see it, and I am sorry. But I am drained, I am barely keeping my head above the sea of depression myself but unlike you I cant drowned myself in it, because, as you said, I have the chain that all woman bare," Evangeline said softly, shaking her head. She moved her eyes from Dekka to Wesley, her own stomach turning with all of her own mixed feelings. How she both loved Wesley with all of hr heart, but despised him at the same time and the guilt she had the for hatred she held for him. Dekka was a leech, and she simply had nothing left to give him.
Dekka remained quiet, the air, somber. And a long quiet moment hung over them before either would speak.
"This is a lot to take in," he said, his voice so gruff it seemed tangible. "And you look exhausted. Look... " he sighed, appearing drained and looking ages older in the dim light.
"Let's fucking just sleep over it. I've got a headache, and you've got something too. Tomorrow... We can figure this all out." Because as much as he wanted to not believe it, the child coming into his life acted like a chain. And all responsibilities he skirted around were bubbling up to haunt him. Figures he'd become a father at his age. And here he thought his body starting to ache was the worst of things. But now he found himself.needing to think about someone else.
"You say that, but I would almost believe that I will never see you again. That you will tuck tail and run from your responsibilities like you always do," Evangeline spoke with a sigh as she squeezed the bridge of her nose.
"But if you need a day to let it sink in, so be it. "
Dekka grumbled but said nothing. He found himself too tired to argue as well, but the Gods knew if he still was the same man he was several years ago, he'd be as sassy as ever, and as stubborn as ever. Seems even the thief fell prey to the elements-
Aging was still working on his side, for his looks anyways, keeping him still handsome as his smile lines were enhanced. Thankfully, he was able to hide away some of his grey hairs..
Though not all. There were too many growing in now. And if he were to cut or pluck them all out, he knew he'd have a bald spot.
And perhaps that was one of the few things weighing on him...
He did have a lot on his plate.
Fuck.
When did his life turn into this?
"Do you plan on staying here?" Evangeline asked softly as she began to play with Wesley. The baby laughing softly, a laugh undoubtedly similar to Dekka's.
Dekka's eyes were nearly closed when she asked the question. So he opened them again.
"Yes."
Where else was he to go? He wasn't foolish enough to let her slip out of his sight. He knew better. And he was determined to see her and the babe out of Connlaoth.
Evangeline didn't respond to Dekka, instead she continued to amuse her child. The room filling with soft coos and giggles, as she played peek-a-boo and made funny faces.
The sounds and atmosphere changed greatly at the sounds of mother and son. The giggling was warming, perhaps too warming and comforting for the weary Dekka, who's eye lids soon grew heavy and a soft snore escaped his lips, having fallen asleep where he stood.
Evangeline looked up, shaking her head.
"Dekka!" she spoke as she tossed a small pillow at him. "lay down before you topple over and hurt yourself old man."
And at the pillow, he almost did, but his eyes opened as he looked at her, then to the only place to sleep.
"I'm not taking your bed," he said, gruffly.
"Who said I would let you even if you wanted to?" Evangeline asked raising her eyebrow at the man. After all she had been through with the pregnancy alone Dekka was lucky she gave him a pillow.
"Well,.I won't sleep on the fucking floor, either."
"Well then the only option you have left is the rocking chair in the corner," Evangeline replied looking up, her face unreadable. If the man was trying to get her to share her bed, well that wasn't going to happen either. He had lost that privilege.
"Rocking chair? Is that an invitation?" Though he jested, flirtatiously and shamelessly, his voice belayed him. He was exhausted, and his eyes were so heavy with sleep, and his tongue, laced with irritability that only someone awakened when they did not wish to would have.
"Yes, an invitation to sit your ass in that rocking chair. I won't have you toppling over in mid-sleep and hurting yourself," Evangeline replied her voice sharp, almost demanding. She looked down at her son. Oh, he would have the looks of his father, there was no doubt. He would most likely he just as stubborn as well seeing both herself and Dekka whereas hard headed as humanly possible. Evangeline bit her lip softly. She was bitter and angry at Dekka, but she knew that a lot of the anger she placed on him was misdirected. Still, even if Dekka didn't see it in himself, Evangeline knew he could be a good father to Wesley, if only he would choose to not run away from him.
Exhaustedly, he obliged, dropping down into the rocking chair and rubbing irritably at his eyes.
While Dekka rested Evangeline stood, she did some light cleaning and then began to cook a stew with what little she had. If Dekka was going to drag her out kicking and screaming, well, they would both need their strength.
And surprisingly, Dekka slept through all that.
Evangeline let the stew cook slowly knowing that Dekka would probably sleep for a good while. She could tell he was tired. She wouldn't wake him, he needed his rest. Plus, it gave her a chance to think, to weigh her options. To consider leaving right that moment so he wouldn't try to drag her from Connloath.
Eventually, Dekka awoke. The smells from the finished stew were overwhelming. But he wasn't the only one to awaken, hungry, because the second Dekka moved to stand, Wesley began to cry.