Not Drunk Yet [M]

[Lowen Thorn]

@Remi

Suna. Been a long time.

The small, run-down tavern in the Kunata's capital city held hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, drunken laughter overpowering the banter and clings and clangs of tapped together glass, and swirled around in a dirty cloud of smoke and wafts of open alcohol.

Amaya was right at home.

The bounty hunter rested his hands on the rough paintwork that coated the front bar, the wood tickling his fingertips as he moved them from atop the surface over to the handle of his mug. A small smile curled into his lips before he took a swig, and he placed it back down on top of the bar before shooting a glance over to his guest of the evening.

He was a tall, brute, ogre-ish man, and if there was anything obvious about him, it was that he was very drunk. Of course, that was because Amaya had been paying his way all night. They talked about everything life: the good and the band, the women, the late night gambles and the even later night fucks.

The man that sat next took him took another gulp of his ale before slamming his glass back to the bar, shattering it beneath his hands.

"Think you may have had enough there, Red," Amaya said slyly, watching him with curious eyes as more alcohol moved past his lips.

"I-I've had enough when I've said I have," the other man said through a slur and a chuckle, barely motioning the bartender to bring him and his new friend another round. "I just need a little more. Just a drop."

"Suit yourself," Amaya mused, adverting his gaze back to his hallow glass.

"Heeeey," Red burped grotesquely. Abruptly, he jabbed his finger into Amaya's chest, two times for good measure. "Areyounotdrunk" he asked, almost stated, as the words tumbled through his mouth almost indistinguishably. "Werr at it all night, whatgives?"

Amaya's grin returned to him and he calmly placed his mug on top of the counter. "Well, you see, Red," he began, shifting over to him. "I never get too drunk until after I catch my bounty."

Red's face grew to his name, and his eyes struggled to shoot open as he processed the bounty hunter's words. "B-Bounty?" he asked, somewhat coming back to reality. "W-Who areya bounty?"

"Gods, you're so drunk," he replied, half-entertained. "Name's Amaya Midgar. You are Rudy Redford, right? You got a bounty on your head, my friend."

Without waiting to hear any more, and mostly out of pure instinct, Red leaped from his chair and sloppily ran for the door, toppling over a few stools and patrons in the process. Amaya's eyes stayed on him as he moved to the door, rising from his own seat to begin pursuit.

"For fuck's sake," he muttered under his breath.

[Remi]

@Elf Lady Love


Gods dammit, what gives?

It was supposed to have been a relatively simple night; one last job before she could fuck off until tomorrow. However, the gods were fickle creatures and she might as well have been on a fucking wild goose chase. No, that would have been too easy: she would have already found the goose and by now, her ass should have been planted on a stool in some little dive tavern, well into her third or fourth round. Her target wasn't a goose though and she'd been from one end of Suna to the other and back again, searching for the individual in question, with little more than a few guesses about the establishments he haunted on the regular, a name and description. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she was supposed to be assisting her target, or someone he was related to- he was supposed to let her know about that. If he was sober enough to tell her, that was.

When she had prepared to just turn on her heel and say that the missive she'd received had contained false information, she had managed to come across one more pub; one that she'd overlooked somehow. A rather run-down, unimpressive establishment, yet one that sounded extremely lively, with the scents of intoxicating alcohol and heavy smoke drifting out the door and windows. She would have enjoyed slumming it in such a place tonight- maybe, if her client wasn't here, she'd do just that. Shrugging, Remi had pivoted and prepared to saunter into the tavern, when she ran face-first into her supposed client.

Well, that wasn't exactly the truth. The massive, ogrish brute of a man reeked of booze and had apparently decided that he was going to go somewhere else as she'd arrived- which had resulted in a collision. "Son of a bitch!" She snarled under her breath as she was knocked on her ass. Grumbling even more colorful profanities, Remi lunged back to her feet again and turned toward the street, gritting her teeth as she took off after the large man's broad back, long legs carrying her in swift strides that quickly became a fast jog as she began tailing him, yelling: "Rudy Redford? I'm... the one you... sent for! Gods dammit, stop!" As she ran, blissfully unaware that anything might have been amiss at the moment.

The only saving grace about her pursuit was that even though her pride (and ass) were a bit sore from the rude, rough shove, there wasn't enough distance between herself and her client that she'd lose him right away; not unless he did some evasive maneuvering through the alleys in a city that she wasn't all that familiar with. She didn't think she'd be able to stop him physically, not unless she ended up drawing one of her daggers and throwing it at his retreating back-- but even if she'd attempted something so stupid, she'd never thrown knives before and would most likely miss.  So, at the moment, the only thing that the pissed-off healer could do was break into a run and try to stay close enough that she might possibly be able to corner the fleeing brute and try to make the drunk understand who she was? "...Shit!" It was snarled between tightly-clenched teeth, as though the word itself tasted foul; trapping and cornering a drunk of such height and girth was a horrible idea. Knowing her luck, he was probably a horrible drunk and if she trapped him somewhere, she might have ended up pummeled, not that she would have objected to a brawl. If luck was on her side, maybe his endurance wouldn't be that great in his clearly inebriated state, or he'd possibly trip over something? "My fee has just... fucking... tripled!" Remi bellowed as she continued careening after Redford; maybe if she'd been blessed with a more pleasant, softer and more feminine voice, she wouldn't have sounded like a malevolent entity?

She doubted that he'd be able to pay triple the price for the services that had been (vaguely) requested of her, but maybe if he'd been able to understand what she'd yelled, he'd understand what she wanted? Regardless, she wasn't going to give up-- this was the first job she'd received in a few days and dammit, she needed the pay.

[Lowen Thorn]

Amaya saw Red push past the emerging woman, knocking her to the ground, and heading through the alleys. He almost laughed, but before he knew it the woman had hopped to her feet, turned heel, and went after him! What in all hells?

"Holy shit," he breathed in disbelief. "Pretty fast for a dumb drunk and a scrawny little hag."

He peered over his shoulder and met eyes with the establishment's owner who was clearly both perplexed and aggravated, and gave him a quick nod. "I'll be back for my tab!" he called out, though it was buried underneath the uproar of the loose crowd.

'Not sure what that woman is planning doing,' Amaya thought to himself as he began pursuit of his bounty and.. some random woman, apparently. It took a few minutes for his natural speed to set it but before too long his feet were slapping the cobble-stoned alley grounds as he jetted past passerbys of the city and his surroundings became a blur.

Turning a corner, he saw the woman. Well, and the man. Who could miss that large oaf of human being? And how the hell did this skinny little thing keep up with him after being knocked flat?

His boots pounded heavier against the ground by the second to the point to where he felt like his legs were going to explode, but he managed to close in on the both of them. As he moved past the clearly winded woman, he tilted his head, gave her a wink and a cocky wave, and flung himself at Red.

"Gotcha!" he yelled triumphantly as he wrapped his arms around his belligerent man's neck, clinging tightly in attempts to slow him down.

But he didn't slow down, and Amaya was along for the ride.

"Fucking shit, Red!" Amaya cried out, trying to choke him into submission. "STOP!"

[Remi]

"Fucking stop, Rudy-- Red! You and I... have business!" The soul surgeon was quite winded, but she wasn't about to give up; not when she was so close to her client. Unfortunately, she probably looked like either a little assassin or a diminutive old harpy; both of which anyone would have wanted to avoid. Oh, fuck me! The thought nearly flowed from parted lips as she breathed through her mouth, the half-elven bitch cocking her head when the sound of another person approaching caught her attention; anyone would have made out the sound of pounding boots hauling ass over the cobbled alleyways; she managed to catch a quick glimpse of the newcomer while he was still on his feet- enough to tell her that he was quite tall as well, but not nearly as broad as Red was. Before Remi had time to react, the newcomer quickly darted around her; she inclined her chin once, in a wordless greeting that was probably at least somewhat on the coy side, offering a quick smirk and brief gesture that inquired: "The fuck are you doing?" as she watched said newcomer throw himself at Red.

Pale grey eyes narrowing in a calculating manner, despite her fairly breathless state, Remi shifted her stance, one foot sliding behind the other. When the fuck did a healer become a huntress? Well, tonight, apprently. When the newcomer's arms wrapped around the hard-headed drunk's neck, Remi grinned broadly up at him, seeing what she thought was an opportune moment to make her move. Shifting her weight a bit lower, she darted forward, to position herself directly in front of Red, left hand resting on her hip momentarily; "Red... your letter got to me... you requested a--?"

Her still fairly breathless question trailed off abruptly as a ham-sized hand swung downward and outward. Only through the virtue of being smaller, quicker and sober, Remi lunged forward and ducked, narrowly managing to avoid being rendered unconscious; instead, catching the brunt of that blow along her right shoulderblade. Brief, yet intense agony flared along said shoulderblade; forcing a quick gasp to tear itself freee from her throat- she'd likely find a nasty bruise there sometime tomorrow; it wasn't dangerous or anything worth worrying about- but if the near-electric rush of adrenaline and anger hadn't been fueling her, she probably would have been stunned for several moments. I'm... the healer you... sent for!" She panted, shaking her head to clear it.

"Healer?" Red sneered down at her as the other man tried to choke him, "I wanned a whore!" The woman was a nuisance, a distraction; what was more important was removing the pest from around his neck- his windpipe was constricting somewhat painfully and in his shitfaced state, fear was quickly giving way to rage. The trapped beast reached upward with his free hand, attempting to grab Amaya by whatever he could grasp, wanting nothing more than to dislodge and beat the son of a bitch into submission.

"Oh, fuck you, Red!" Rage had finally overtaken the disbelief and confusion that had colored her voice when the pursuit had begun; a peculiar grin twisting the corners of her lips upward into a chilling grin. Twice, she stepped forward, fury painted across her countenance, "This son of a whore's coming down!" Was the quick warning she yelled up at the man who rode Red like a deranged bull. Taking another quick, mincing step forward, she nodded, that grin growing ever-wider as she calculated the distance. Her good arm drew back, hand clenching tightly into a fist and elbow tucked against her side; lunging forward and angling her fist somewhat upward, she quite brazenly delivered a quick, sharp punch to his groin, which she followed up by backpedling a few steps, watching in case her dirty attack hadn't produced the results she had been looking for.

Things were going too quick for poor Red's drunk, panicking mind to keep up with; first, there was the constant, restricting pressure around his throat; then, there was an unexpected agony that brought bright pinpoints of white light dancing across his vision, causing the brute to wince, groan pitifully and begin swaying unsteadily on his feet. Flailing uselessly, he stumbled clumsily around for several moments, shaking his watering eyes and slurring garbled obscenities at his assailants. Twisting to the right in an almost-graceful pivot, the near-breathless drunkard's feet tangled and he almost hit the ground; swaying unsteadily and stumbling around for a few paces. Breathing raggedly, still drunk enough that his vision was blurred and produced doubles of everything that he looked at, panic was quickly setting in as he whined breathlessly: "I dinnit do nuffing!" It would probably only be a matter of moments before he was down for the count.

[Lowen Thorn]

"Ho! Shit, lady!" was Amaya's immediate reaction to the woman's braved attempt at taking him down via his manhood; and it was almost working, yet somehow the blubbering brute was still tumbling about and swinging his arms around in protest.

'I dinnit do nuffin!' Red cried pathetically after overcoming the jolt of pain any man would feel after such a low blow.

Amaya rolled his eyes and tightened his arms even stricter around the man's throat. "You killed a man, Red," the bounty hunter reminded him, still dangling loosely as if he were trying to break a horse. "I know you were just trying to rob him, but you were too stupid and you killed the poor bastard. So sit still and-"

Thud!

Red collapsed to his knees with a crack of his bones, causing Amaya to topple over and roll into the cobbled road. Shit. The bounty hunter quickly jumped back up to his feet to ensure his target wasn't about to haul his way out of there again, but it appeared the entire ordeal did a number on the poor guy.

Amaya let out an exasperated breath and cracked his knuckles with each hand. "Listen. Red," Amaya said just before throwing a fist into the side of the man's skull, causing the ogre to groan, hiss, and whimper simultaneously as his face met the ground. "I enjoyed the drinks, but it's time to go. I'm taking you in."

The bounty hunter paused, contemplating. How the fuck was he suppose to move this big piece of shit anyway? It was just him and... oh, the woman. He cast a glance over his shoulder at the woman with a look of both speculation and pure fascination. "Nice arm, lady."

[Remi]

Remi shook her head and dragged a hand through her hair, watching in surprise as the ogre flailed and stumbled about, almost dropping to the ground, yet somehow remained mostly upright. Sure, she more than likely would have had much better luck dropping someone of a more normal stature, but she'd at least expected a different reaction; perhaps a cessation of movement or something along those lines. Oh, of course her quarry didn't do anything-- he didn't flee from the person who was supposed to help him, put up a fight and announce that what he'd really wanted was a whore; that just positively reeked of innocence, did it not? Yeah, of course it did.

"Oh, that's nothing!" She quipped almost playfully at the guy who was, for reasons she wasn't sure of, helping take down the big, dumb son of a bitch. Thankfully, she was granted a brief respite during which she could catch her breath. So, Red was a killer; she wouldn't have exactly pinned the jackass as one, but from the sound of things, it had been an accidental murder. Shit! How in the blue hells am I going to get paid now? Pickpocket the stupid fuck? ...I still don't know what I was supposed to do for him!

She winced a bit at the sound of her target dropping to the ground; the loud crack of his knees impacting with the cobblestones sounded extremely painful. He definitely deserved it, but anyone sober would have positively howling in agony; it was strange that the drunkard wasn't. Had she been anyone else, she probably would have strode up when Red went down and kicked him in the face, or something--  but instead, she simply sighed. From the sound of things, her momentary assistant had plans with the poor sod, too; which was only going to complicate matters even more.

It might not have been exactly right that she was trying to figure out how to be compensated for doing nothing but searching the city for this asshole, helping knock the shit out of him and not carrying through with healing-she still didn't know if it was him, or someone he was related to- but dammit, she sure as hell wasn't going to just walk away with nothing for her troubles. "Thanks! That was sort of fun!" She replied with a smirk, throwing a rather curious look the bounty hunter's way as she moved closer to the unconscious Red; she wasn't going to go through with pickpocketing the jackass and it was most likely clear that she wasn't an assassin, but the thought of kicking him around a little was somewhat appealing...

Instead, she settled for tilting her head and peering down at his unconscious form, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Save for his being clearly shitfaced (and unconscious from the beating he'd received), he appeared to be mostly uninjured. She could have been mistaken given how dark the alley was, but he didn't exactly appear to be harboring a nasty disease, either. So, that meant: either he was far more ill than she thought and in need of her aid as a soul surgeon, had a family member in need of assistance, or like he'd said, had been looking for a whore and had been just stupid enough to send a missive to a healer.

"Do you know much about Sir Stupid?" She inquired; she didn't know if the bounty hunter knew more about Red than what he'd said about the drunkard being a killer, but it was worth asking.

[Lowen Thorn]

Amaya shrugged and shook his head. "Not much, but enough," he replied as he knelt before the man, giving him a quick inspection to ensure his was unconscious. He was. Good. Now all there was left to do was to drag the large sack of human waste to the local authorities and collect his pay. How exactly he was going to do that was the question. He was a little winded, not enough to really slow him down, but his legs were all but give out. He really didn't expect Red to run away like that; and he definitely didn't expect this drunken baboon to be so fast.

"Rudy Redford," he started as his eyes traveled over the bounty. "Goes by the name of Red. Killed a man in a robbery gone wrong. Has a pretty nice bounty on his head because of it, and I'm here to collect."

He grabbed Red's arm and slung it over his shoulder, attempting to stand despite the weight that felt almost magnetized to the ground. Holy fuck. This lummox was heavier than life itself, and a small groan escaped Amaya's lips as he attempted to drag him away.

"Thanks for the help, but I'll take it from here," he said dismissively. "Go on. Shoo."

[Remi]

Remi groaned in irritation at the bounty hunter's reply. She didn't know why she'd expected him to know much of anything, but she'd hoped he would have known more than she would have, at least. "Ah, I know his name, but I wasn't aware that he was fucking stupid enough to have a bounty on his head," She shrugged, eyes narrowed in irritation. Tonight had started out rather shitty and was quickly becoming one of the worst nights that she'd had in a long time- it fucking figured.

A vague smirk twisted her countenance as she watched the bounty hunter try to stand beneath Red's considerably weight; almost laughing at his groan. Served him right for trying to just walk off with her client. Maybe if she just let him try to go collect the bounty and tailed him, she might eventually find him collapsed under the oaf somewhere. Too bad she wasn't in good enough humor to do anything of the sort, though.

"Are you really that fucking stupid?" That query dripped with derision. She wasn't about to let this guy drag her client anywhere; especially not to collect a sizeable bounty, while she remained unpaid. "There's no gods-damned way I'm leaving; this sorry sack of shit's supposed to be my client- stupid bastard demanded a healer's services; I have no damned idea why, but I'm not going anywhere until I'm paid!"

Taking a few steps closer to the bounty hunter, she reached into one of her belt-pouches and withdrew the crumpled letter she'd received, offering it to him. If nothing else, if he was able to read, it would prove that her claim was not unsubstantiated; the note was just vague and poorly-written. She wasn't trying to claim the bounty for her own; she just wanted what should have been hers- and hopefully to spend the remainder of the night having fun.

There was always the possibility that the man might take exception to her claim- and the letter that backed it up; even if she wasn't exactly looking forward to having to defend that claim, she was prepared to do so. Of course, she would have been willing to accept a few rounds at some slummy tavern (she tended to avoid higher-class establishments) and maybe a few hands of cards in lieu of monetary compensation, but she wasn't going to come out and say anything of the sort. Especially since now, she had no fucking idea who she'd be collecting from in the first place. "If tonight doesn't get any fucking worse, I'll kiss lady luck's ass without complaint!" She snarled under her breath.

[Lowen Thorn]

The bounty hunter's eyes lit up in amusement. Stupid? No, not really. But it was always fun to play along and get under someone's skin. He extended his free hand to accept the crumpled up piece of paper, eyes scanning over it briefly.

"Sorry, lady. I don't know how to read," he lied. "And he wanted a whore, not a healer. Seems he called the wrong broad."

Finally finding his strength, and the right grip on the unconscious lummox, he paced away from her, tugging Red as he went, at an increasingly slow rate. Gods dammit, he thought as he unwillingly did his best impression of a turtle. I'm never going to get anywhere at this rate.

He sighed, and dropped the man from his shoulder. "Fine," he said over the sound of Red's limp body slamming into the cobbled road. "Help me carry this guy and I'll give you a cut. How's that sound?"

[Remi]

The soul surgeon's dour expression only managed to turn more sour at the bounty hunter's amusement. Under other circumstances, she probably would have thought he was at least entertaining, but so far, tonight just didn't seem to be that kind of night, unfortunately. She let his comment about not knowing how to read slip; it really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things- and the jackass they'd taken down had let it be known what he'd wanted, anyway. "He made a mistake, but I don't care- not my fault, or problem," She shrugged. Even if it might have looked like she was trying to engage in some form of extortion at the price of someone else's screw-up, she didn't give a damn.

Watching the bounty hunter attempt to carry Red away at a pathetically slow pace, she finally gave in and laughed; though the bounty hunter didn't look like a weakling, Red had to weigh roughly as much as a small mountain, if not more. Moving him alone was a noteworthy attempt, but unless one had a team of oxen to pull the lout down the road, she didn't know if anyone could have dragged his ass off anywhere, at least not alone.

"Sounds like a fair deal to me," She nodded, closing whatever distance remained between herself and Red's limp form; "Guess I might as well buy us a round of the strongest shit possible, or something like that, for our troubles too, if you're up for it after we're done with him." It wasn't that she was particularly sympathetic; just that she had the feeling they'd both probably be sore from hauling around such an enormous dead weight and badly in need of something to drink, whever they got to where they were going.

Cracking her knuckles, she crouched and got into position to seize one of Red's arms. If they had been of a similar height, it might have made sense for one of them to grab his arms and the other his ankles so they could carry him down the road, but she didn't think that would have been an easy task, what with their height differences. She didn't know if dragging him along would be much easier in the long run, but it was worth a shot. "Ready whenever you are." It was a damn shame that their prey wasn't quite rotund or stiff enough to just roll down the road, but she assumed they'd manage just fine, unless he woke up at a bad time.

[Lowen Thorn]

Well. She sure was gullible.

Amaya flashed her a quick grin as he came to his aid, and together they heaved the man up, one arm slung around a shoulder and neck each. "You buy the first round and I'll buy the second," he said through a concentrated breath. "I still have my tab back there at the little tavern where you got your ass flattened, so we'll head back there when we're done."

Pretty nice bounty on Red's head, Amaya repeated to himself inside his head.For one. There was no way in hell he would actually give her a cut of his reward, but he'd at least share a drink with the woman before he split back to Jin'ta.

"How ya holding up over there?"

[Remi]

She had her doubts that he'd willingly cough up a split of the profits, all things considered- but that was simply because she didn't trust the living to keep their word on anything; few people she'd ever encountered were willing to give up their wealth, even if it was owed to her. While she would end up doing her damndest to make sure she got something of the profits in the end, it didn't mean she was above putting on the act of being a naive, gullible lady.

After all, most people expected women to be trusting and naive to an extent, or so she'd been lead to believe- even if one was something of a bitch. Maybe, just maybe, if she played her cards right, she'd be the one leaving him broke and indebted at the end of the night. She couldn't say for sure if everything would play out the way she wanted to, but she'd at least try to see what she might be able to pull off; though there was always the distinct possibility that her ideas just might not work.

"That sounds like a plan to me," Remi stated through clenched teeth as they hoisted the mountain of a man together; shifting her own weight to keep Red balanced well enough. Even with the hunter's assistance, she'd never have thought anyone could have weighed as much as the drunkard, but there was a first time for everything.

She grumbled as they moved along, swearing to herself that at least once, she'd felt their burden start to shift on his own accord; though that could have simply been the precariousness of the situation almost off-balancing the drunk. Though her breathing was a bit labored from the efforts, she wasn't about to admit that the task at hand was more difficult than it had looked; instead, she tilted her head at the bounty hunter and flashed a quick grin: "Not bad at all; I think we'll manage. What about you?"

[Lowen Thorn]

"Never fucking better," he lied through his teeth as the two moved forward. "Hardly even breaking a sweat."

Now this was a peculiar situation he had gotten himself in. Towing some large oaf of a bounty down the street with some scrawny, little slouch of a woman that just appeared basically out of thin air. She was certainly interesting, and for the most part interesting to look at, though she could be pretty if she put even the slightest bit of effort into it, Amaya thought. Not that he was one to judge.

"So what's your story?" he asked as the two pressed forward to the local law. "Who are you suppose to be, anyway? Clearly not from around here."

[Remi]

"Ahh, I'm damned glad to hear it!" She damn near chirped, blinking sweat out of her eyes as they continued ever onward, to a destination that almost seemed impossible to reach... and yet, she just had to try and fuck with him, at least a little. "Since you're doing so fucking wonderful, I think I'll just hop right onto your back. I've always wanted a talking ox- and you just might be suited to that!" She was being far from serious at that moment, doing what she could to mask the strain in her voice as a playful snort.

She had to admit that this was one of the weirdest situations she'd ever been thrown into- and in her line of work, she'd seen and dealt with some rather strange things before. But not even when she'd indulged in mind-altering herbs had she ever imagined she'd be dragging some beast of a stupid drunkard down an almost-deserted street in the middle of the night, alongside a rather good-looking bounty hunter who had seemingly materialized to chase her and said brainless lunk through a few alleyways and help beat the shit out of him. Hell, she'd never have thought she'd be hauling a beast of a human down any street in any circumstances, to begin with.

"There's really not shit to tell," Remi stated off-handedly, "If you're looking for a sad sack of shit story, I can't oblige that: I'm no one special, never had any stupid-ass tragedy happen, either. Anything in particular you'd like to know?" It was a vague, but not dishonest semi-answer: she wasn't drunk enough to completely spill her guts to someone she didn't know at all, but at least it was something of a start. "Name's Remi Tvastri; I'm an herbalist and back at the academy of healing arts a long time ago, they said I was a soul surgeon. You're right though, I'm not from here-- not really from anywhere in particuar. Anyone that needs me knows how to track my ass down; anyone who doesn't, won't." It was fairly vague and she knew it; but it was a better start than nothing-- or at least she thought so.

"And you?' She was curious; the bounty hunter seemed to be fairly interesting and she could imagine that his story was probably a thousand times more interesting than hers was (at least she didn't think her past was the least bit interesting; unless she divulged some of the stranger things she'd witnessed while trying to ply her trade.)

[Lowen Thorn]

Fucks sake, Amaya needed a drink.

Playing friendly with this woman was really starting to wear on his nerves, and clearly hers as well, unless she was just that type of lunatic. "If you do that, I'll pile drive your head into the ground," he muttered under his breath shortly after her ox comment.

Jeez, woman. He only asked a simple question, and now she wouldn't shut up about it! So no sad sack story? No stupid-ass tragedy? Who cares? Life's full of people like that. He couldn't tell if he was annoyed or just downright intrigued by the woman's demeanor. He bit his tongue on what he wanted to say, and waited for a moment to allow himself to lighten up.

"Nothing in particular, no," he finally replied, his agitation buried through the grunts and groans of Red's mass. "Amaya Midgar, I'm not from around here either."

He paused for another moment when a sneaky little smile crept into his lips. "I guess Red tracked your ass down for that reason specifically... ass," he added teasingly. "Not your type?"

[Remi]

No one who claimed to know Remi would have ever called her the life of any party when things didn't go her way-- and when the healer didn't get her way, one of a few things usually happened: either she'd go out of her way to irritate the ever-loving fuck out of whoever she was near at the moment, she'd punch someone, or possibly just walk away.

Given the current situation, punching anyone was completely out of the question and she couldn't exactly tell at the moment if she was fascinated by the bounty hunter or just wanting to see how far she could push him before he fucking exploded, so she wasn't going to walk away. So, that left her with being as irritating as fucking possible, until she just couldn't keep up with that any longer. Either way, she snorted; which certainly wasn't an apology by any stretch of the imagination, but if he wasn't a dullard, he should have been able to interpret the sound as: "I'm just fucking with you."

"You always use such strange fucking situations to meet people?" Her tone was blatantly playful and flippant; though it wasn't a serious question at all, she was curious to see what his answer might have been. Perhaps if she hadn't been muttering profanities and making decidedly unladylike noises under Red's girth, it would have been even more readily apparent that she was only screwing around.

Amaya's sudden, playfully audacious question caught her off-guard enough that instead of responding immediately, she laughed; a deep, throaty sound. "So, he did- and not a chance in hell," She trailed off for a moment, "But if we could find someone selling a dress big enough to suit him, he might be yours, right?" It was absolutely impossible to keep the blatantly mischievous note from creeping into her voice; even though it had been her intention to try to keep the question as deadpan as possible.

[Lowen Thorn]

"Not my type," he replied dismissively, though he appreciated the humor. Maybe she wasn't so bad, she just clearly wanted to get under his skin for one reason or another. Oh well. She was harmless enough, he thought, and if he had too he could play that game right back to her; but at the moment he was more worried about turning Red in before he decided he wanted to wake up from his little nap.

"And when do I not meet people in a strange fucking situation? Seems like that's the only time I do meet someone who's not on the receiving end of my fist. Anyway-"

He cut off, deciding to fuck with the woman a little as she did to him. "Back to what my type is. When we're done with this sack of balls, let's skip the bar and head down to the docks. It's beautiful down there, and we can hold hands, stare into each others eyes, and talk about how ugly our kids will be."

[Remi]

"Oh, what a pity," His dismissive tone was met with a feigned disappointed croon, "I'm sure the two of you'd make an adorable pair! ...Of course, if you want to wear the dress instead, that can be arranged," Damn, but it was hard not to choke on barely held-back laughter; apparently, he really wasn't such an ass; maybe he'd just been trying to piss her off as much as she'd been doing the same? Who the fuck knew though- and it really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Unfortunately, it was very difficult to keep the bitchy-but-naive act up for very long; growing more difficult by the moment as they continued onward.

There were far more important things to focus on at the moment anyhow: namely, not tripping or otherwise buckling beneath Red's weight and trying to get to where they were going before he decided to return to the world of the living. It would have been just fucking perfect if he decided to wake up with the mother of all hangovers and decided to go for round two, now wouldn't it?

"Hell if I know," She stated, "At least it makes things interesting, right?" So, Amaya sounded like the sort that would greet others with a flying fist to the face under other circumstances? Made him seem even more interesting-- and probably fun to spend some time with; she'd have to remember to try and get on his good side, if for no other reason than to contact him when she was in the mood to raise some hell, blow off some steam.

But there was a far more interesting subject that he seemed to be quite willing to "discuss" and she just happened to be all ears; attempting to make it seem as though she was giving serious consideration to his "offer" before she finally spoke up again, eyes gleaming with mirth, "You know, my dear," Through nothing short of a miracle (and biting her bottom lip until it bled a bit to keep from giving herself away too horribly,) she managed to sound at least somewhat serious, "I think that's a perfectly reasonable idea! There's nothing better than slipping down to a beautiful location, staring deep into each others' eyes until we both wonder what the fuck's wrong with the other, getting  all kinds of poetic and discussing the fate of our future  disgusting children!"

Drawing a deep breath and fighting desperately to swallow peals of laughter, hoping that the "girlish giggle" she forced to come forth wasn't too strange-sounding, she paused. Long enough to tilt her head and bat her eyelashes at him (just like rumors claimed noblewomen did to "charm" their intended paramours) before speaking again: "At this hour, I wouldn't be surprised if we have the docks all to ourselves-- and we'll definitely be able to teach each other a thing or two!" Her free hand rose to stroke the whip that encircled her waist, hoping the gesture was sufficiently suggestive. If they were going to fuck with each others' heads for a while, she'd be damned if she was going to back down so quickly-- and part of her was looking forward to see just how forward (or strange) his answer was going to be.

[Lowen Thorn]

Gods, she saw right through me.

Amaya chose not to respond right away, instead focusing on Red and getting him to where he needed to be. It felt like they had been towing him along for almost a lifetime now, and they were still no closer to the jailer. 'It was be so much easier to just drop his ass right here and send for somebody to come pick him up,' he thought to himself through gritted teeth.

But they continued a few more steps and he finally threw her a sarcastic reply. "I don't think I can handle whatever you are teaching, lady," he sneered. "Besides-"

He cut off again as the pending weight on his shoulders grew deeper, stiffness pushing into his chest and against his back. 'Fuck! This is hopeless!' he cried inside his head. He was very well over this whole ordeal, and it ended now.

"Fuck this," he muttered as he removed himself from Red's bear arm, forcing his weight soley on Remi.

[Remi]

Though their banter had served to help for a while, concentrating on both keeping said jabs going, while trying to keep from just giving up and collapsing under Red's weight. More than once, she'd stumbled under the drunkard's dead weight. It would have been so much fucking easier if they'd had some sort of wagon, or if one of them had at least owned (and brought) a mule and some rope along. Though she wasn't a thief, she was attempting to split her attention a third way: trying to see if there was some kind of cart that they could have borrowed for a short time. It just figured that she hadn't been paying overly close attention to their surroundings previously; not close enough to know if there was such a conveyance anywhere behind them-- and as far as she could tell, there didn't appear to be one up ahead.

"Oh, come on," Though her voice was quite strained and caught in her throat on a ragged breath at least once, it was still playful: "You don't have to deny it, you're quaking in anticipation!" Shit, but a drink was sounding good right now; thene again, so  was the thought of just laying down in the middle of the street and not giving a fuck about what happened until she managed to catch her breath again and work off some of the soreness and stiffness that was setting in. Of course, she wasn't going to do that, but it didn't mean it didn't sound like one hell of an idea regardless.

Remi hadn't anticipated Amaya's suddenly giving up and freeing himself from the weight of Red's burden; "What the fuck's--" Came the indignant bark of a reply as her knees started to buckle; only for that weight to suddenly be removed from her protesting back and shoulders; a bellow of abject rage (and the agony inflicted by a downright killer hangover setting in) cutting her words short.

Oh, of fucking course Red would just have  to wake up at that moment; disoriented, but absolutely infuriated. Given her state of exhaustion and being completely caught off-guard, Remi was too slow to entirely escape a massive fist swinging her way; though by pivoting to the right, she managed to catch a mere glancing blow to her jaw; strong enough to snap her head to the side, cause her teeth to slam together painfully -causing her to chomp down painfully on her tongue in the process- and for her vision to swim; but she didn't think her jaw was broken or even cracked, just yet. It just hurt like a bitch and probably would for a couple of hours.

"Don't just stand there!" She yelled somewhat breathlessly, not taking her eyes off of the bullish Red as she began circling him, trying to remain just far enough away from Red to try and dodge his blows while she looked for an opening. It wasn't half as simple as it looked: while it might have appeared that she was simply dancing around the oaf, she'd timed her movements wrong on at least two separate occasions, earning three more agonizing, though not (yet) concerning blows: an extremely annoying and stinging backhand to the ass, a cuff upside the back of the head and a kick to the back of her knee that had sent her stumbling a few steps even further back.

"Help!" Red's still slurred voice cried out: even though he was incredibly stupid and his head felt as though a rampaging army of orcs was raging through it and he was fairly certain that at any moment now, he was going to spew all over his would-be captors, he fancied himself crafty. It would only take a few moments for him to formulate a lie; some reason to need assistance; kidnapping was among the first of the lies he planned on shrieking.