Gosh, it was freezing. It was supposed to be summer! Although, summer probably never truly reached these northern territories - at most, some of the snow might thaw and turn to slush. Which, Kaven mused, wasn't much better than the snow!
He was knocked out of his reverie by a gentle whinny at his elbow. He looked round to see the shaggy brown pony staring at him with a reproachful expression, snowflakes frozen into his mane. "Sorry, my darling," Kaven said glumly. "I'm not having much of a good time of it either, though."
He pulled his fur coat around him, huddling into the thick collar. "At least you have your own fur!" He looped an arm around the pony's neck and drew closer to it, staring around them helplessly. He might as well admit it - they were pretty lost. He didn't know where he was, or where he was going.
"What do you reckon boy?"
Zurna watched the man and his pony and felt pity for them. They looked cold, miserable, and unprepared for the the deceptively cold summer. 'Just how many people come up here and believe it will be warm? I just don't understand it.' She giggled softly when she heard the man rebuked the horse about its fur coat. 'Poor things. They could use a good fire and a belly full of food.' Having decided that she began to carefully approach the pair. Summer made the ground more treacherous. You never knew whether the ice would hold you or if you were actually standing on land or or just a snowbank.
The man's last statement to the horse, seemed as good a time as any to jump into the conversation. "Well, I don't know about the horse. But, I would reckon your best course of action would be to head west just past those snowbanks where you will find a grouping of tents with welcoming people, warm fires, and good food. In fact, if you're nice I'll even take you there myself," she said announcing her presence to his left with a smile on her lips and in her eyes.
Kaven jumped as a woman popped into his one-sided conversation, flushing at being caught talking to a horse. "Oh! Hello." He stepped towards her, smiling. "Thank you, that's really helpful. Will he be welcome?" He nodded towards the pony, who had stepped forwards in sync with him. "I can't leave him."
He laughed then. "I hope I'm nice enough! I think I'd just get lost again if I tried to find it on my own. This area doesn't really mean much to me. I'm new... obviously."
"Actually I was talking to the horse. But, I think we can find room for you too," she teased winking playfully at him. "Of course I'll lead you. It would be very rude of me to send you to the wolves as it were. You see if I let you wander your way over to my family, they would never let you go." Leaning in conspiratorially she whispered. "but if you come with me I'll keep you safe from the overly motherly women.
"Come. It's not far this way now. You'll be warm in not time! I'm Zurna by the way. Zurna Nali," she greeted beginning the trek back home.
He laughed, pleased at meeting someone so friendly, and funny at that. "Thank you! That would be very useful."
He followed her, the horse trailing at his shoulder, nose nuzzled into his elbow. "I'm Kaven... Damal. And this is Equi." He nodded to the horse, who whickered softly in answer.
"Do you live around here then?" he asked as they walked. "I really know nothing about Hyoite."
"A pleasure to meet you Kaven. I guess you could say I live around here. My people are for the most part nomads. We travel with the tides and the food. For today I live here. Tomorrow is uncertain, as are all things in life. Don't you agree? As for Hyoite and the tundra, well, this is about it. We have our trappers, our hunters, our fisherman, our traders, and our sheppards. But, other than that we have snow. Lots and lots of snow."
Up ahead Zurna saw the smoke rising from her family tents. "One more snowbank and we're home. Although, I best warn you, we're a rather large family." Coming around the snowbank she added for shock-value,"when I say large I mean that I have twenty-five older brothers."
Before her was the beautiful sight of home. It never ceased to amaze her how much the feeling of being home thrilled her. To outsiders it was just a bunch of primitive tents crowded together with a bunch of nobodies living within. But, to Zurna it could not be anymore perfect, it was her family and her life. "Welcome to my home!"
He followed her quietly, listening to her talking about her life. He smiled. It sounded as if she truly loved this strange, wandering way of life, even with all this snow around it. Personally, he wasn't sure he was ever going to get used to it. Ice crystals were clinging to his boots, his trousers soaked through where they brushed against the snow drifts, and while he conceded that it was all very pretty, it was a little too inconvenient for him to really get along with, so far.
"Twenty... five?!" He looked up as she announced the size of her family, mouth dropping slightly open. "... wow." His own family, consisting of only one sibling, seemed puny in comparison. Any further comments he had however, were cut short as they rounded the snow drift.
"Ahh... it's beautiful!" And he meant it. The tents looked so welcoming and, well... homey, with the curls of smoke rising into the air. He felt a sudden jolt of homesickness, and a desire to be accepted as a guest in this small community.
Zurna smiled at his awe. It was always shocking for people how large her immediate family was. "Thank you," she said softly to his compliment. "We try hard to make it so. Come let us get some food and a warm blanket for this fine fellow, and then I'll take you to meet the rest of my family."
Gently, she reached out rubbing her hands over the beast's head and flanks. "Besa, besa," she murmured to Equi quietly. "You really are quite beautiful, let's get you inside where the twins can spoil you rotten with sugar and apples," she whispered in his ear.
As if on que, her twin nieces, Cara and Aliyah came running over squealing and laughing all the while. "Aunt Z, you're back early! Did you bring us anything good?"
Zurna could not help but laugh. "Girls, this is Kaven and his horse Equi. They are going to rest and eat with us for awhile."
Cara, the bolder of the two, walked right up to Kaven and gave him a very wobbly curtsey. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Sir Kaven. I am Cara, and the girl cowering behind your fine steed is my baby twin Aliyah."
"I'm not a baby!" Aliyah cried out still hiding behind Equi.
Kaven smiled as he watched the children run outside, and interact with the horse. Equi pushed his nose forward curiously, allowing himself to be petted for a moment by the girls, nuzzling at the shyer one gently.
"It's my pleasure, Cara." Kaven made an exaggerated bow to the child, smiling at her warmly. "I like your home very much - is it okay if Equi and myself stay for a little while? I won't let him trample the tents!" He laughed, and looked back towards Zurna for his next cue.
"Enough you two! Cara apologize to your sister. Aliyah quit hiding, we talked about this," Zurna commanded with a natural motherly-authority. "This is no way to behave in front of a guest. Come help with Equi and then you can finish your chores she told them." The girls dashed off to where the family's small amount of livestock were kept.
"We do not get many visitors here. I am afraid they are not used to new people," she told Kaven by way of apology as she led her two companions to the animal pen. Inside the twins were fighting over a thick wool blanket for Equi. Rolling her eyes Zurna ignored them and began assisting Kaven in unloading the pony of his burden. "You can leave what you don't need right now, in here. Nothing is going to happen to it." Having sorted themselves out the girls provided the blanket and gave the pony one sugar cube each. Leaving the pen, Zurna called over her shoulder to them, "finish your chores! The horse will be there when you're done."
Taking Kaven's hand she pulled him outside towards the largest tent. "You have to meet my parents and eldest brothers first. The others will come when they are ready." As she went to pull back the tent flap she paused. Solemnly she turned to him and said, "I promise on my life that I will defend you against the hordes inside." Her face was perfectly serious until she added, "You never what a wild human mama is going to do. They are nothing like those domesticated city ones." With the last addition she winked before entering her home.
Kaven helped the girls to bed Equi down, taking a while to ensure that the pony was warm and comfortable. "If you get frightened, just shout for me, okay?" he laughed, petting the creature's shoulder. He set his pack down to one side, leaving it whole and unopened.
"All that's in there is my medicine things - hopefully I won't need them tonight!" he joked, assuming that this community could take excellent care of itself.
He followed Zurna back to the tents, feeling slightly apprehensive as he remembered the size of her family. His nerves were calmed somewhat as she explained that not everyone would be there, and he nodded in acceptance.
As she paused and joked with him, he took on an expression of deadly seriousness and inclined his head. "For your oath, madam, I thank you. Your protection is appreciated." And with that, he ducked inside the tent.
The inside was warm, dark and hazy from the fire. It took a moment for the eyes to become accustomed to it, but Zurna knew her way well enough to move about blindly. "Zurna," her mother called, "who is that with you dear?"
"Hello mother!" Zurna moved to each of her elderly family kissing her mother, father and four eldest brothers and their wives in turn before answering. "This is Kaven Damal. I found him cold and weary talking to naught but his pony."
"Enough of your teasing Zurna, you'll frighten the poor dear," her Minali chastised her daughter. "Come here son, warm yourself by the fire. Don't be afraid to make yourself at home. Whatever yarns Zurna has been spinning are all false, I promise you." Looking towards her smirking daughter Minali commanded her attention. "Zurna! What are you doing? Get the boy some food, he looks half-starved."
Zurna smiled knowingly at Kaven before obeying her mother's orders. The men smoked and talked amongst themselves as the women worked on mending nets, darning socks, or sewing clothes. Handing him a wooden bowl of stew, Zurna sat on some cushions on the floor. "Sit," she whispered to him, patting beside her. From there she proceeded to name and point out her various family members. "My mother Minali and father Trafford." The matriarch and patriarch of the family were sat beside each other leading their circle's conversations and commenting on the work that was being done. "My parents are almost a hundred years old. My oldest brother Atenteben," here she pointed to a dozing man with deep wrinkles and a weather-worn face, "is about sixty years older than my youngest brother and I. In fact his family is expecting his first great-grandchild if you can believe that," she said laughing softly. "What about you? Where are you from? What is your family like? Why have you come this far north?"
Kaven bowed to both of Zurna's parents in turn, and inclined his head respectfully to the rest of her family. Settling himself down on a soft cushion, he closed his eyes briefly, appreciating the welcome warmth of the fireplace. "This is really something special." He smiled, accepting the bowl of soup off Zurna.
He ate hungrily, licking his lips as he worked through the bowl of stew. "This is delicious.... you have such a big family! Are all your brothers married?" He paused as she turned the questions onto him, thinking a moment about his answer.
"I only have my parents and one sister, she's a couple of years younger than me. I grew up in La'marri - well, just outside it, really. It was only a small village, but it was nice, and everyone was close." He smiled, remembering his upringing fondly, before his face closed.
"I had to leave."
Zurna laughed. "Yes all my brothers are married now although two are widowers. The twin girls you met earlier are the youngest of my brother's. Yotar has only been married a few years now. When the girls are a little older he like my other brothers will form his own family group. Then I will be the one left at home to care for the elders." Her voice was happy but a passing sorrow touched her eyes.
"Your home sounds nice." She leaned back on the cushions letting him eat. Her eyes watched the flames as she thought about what he said. "Can I ask you something? You do not have to answer if you do not wish to." She queried without looking at him. "If you were so happy at home, why did you leave?" She kept her gaze off him so as to not add unnecessary pressure. If he did not answer she would understand. They were strangers after all. 'I should not have asked. It is not my place.'
"Will you not form your own family group?" Kaven asked curiously, noticing her conflicting expression and voice. "Or is that the way it works in your culture - that the daughter stays at home?" He paused. "Sorry if that is too personal a question - don't feel that you have to answer."
"My home is nice, it's a beautiful place with some wonderful people, and a very honest energy. That's where I found my calling, and I'm grateful to it for that. But it stopped being home. I was engaged, before...." He glanced at her, not sure if he was revealing too much. "The relationship ended, and so I left." His voice was edged with pain, and he looked away, staring into the fire.
"No, I should probably marry one day. I just never found the right person. Or," she laughed, "if I thought I did my brothers disagreed. Twenty-five older brothers can be a bit of a bothersome thing. I will always be the baby girl of the family. Do not trouble yourself. There is not much I would fine too personal. When you grow up the only daughter with a horde of boys you learn to not take things personally." She gave him a teasing wink before picking up a load and breaking some off for him. The rest she began to pick at, eating the soft inside before moving on to the crust.
"I am sorry for you. I understand the pain of loss, especially when it is someone important to you." She continued gazing at the flames remembering past wounds. "Your calling, what is it? Are you some sort of religious figure?" she asked trying to lighten the conversation back into familiar territory.
He laughed. "That makes sense! My sister is still too young to be interested in men, but when she is I can gaurantee that no man will be good enough for her! Although of course she only has the one brother - I can only sympathise with your situation." His eyes sparkled as he looked at her and laughed. I'm sure you'll find the right path for you, sooner or later."
He nodded aimlessly as they both paused, sensing her thoughts mirroring hers. He lightened as he started to talk about his job. "Well, partly, I'm a healer. You know, basic medicines, injuries, things like that. But mainly," passion came into his voice. "Mainly, I'm a dreamweaver."
"A dreamweaver?" she asked sitting up with interest. "People pay you to give them dreams? Can you also give them nightmares? Or rather give nightmares to other people of their choosing?" Zurna was very confused. She had never heard of such an occupation before.
"How does it work? Do you have special tools you use? Where do you even learn to do such a thing? Is that why you came up here? Someone wants you to weave them a dream?" Her questions were spoken with all the excitement of a young child. Her eyes lit up with the prospect of learning something new.
((I am SO sorry it's taken me such a ridiculously long time to reply!!))
Kaven looked shocked. "I would never give anyone a nightmare!" His eyes widened. "You don't understand the damage that dreams can do, even if they're not nightmares ... but nightmares, they can ruin a person." He was speaking from the heart, but moved on to give her a better idea of how his profession worked, and answer her myriad of questions.
"It's not exactly a profitable business... in fact it's not really a business." He admitted, laughing. "I mostly work with the very elderly or very ill, so I rarely take payment. It feels wrong, somehow." He paused here, trying to work out how best to explain the skill.
"It's ... a kind of healing, I suppose. I work with those who are exhausted, or ill, or unhappy. I can give them a restful night's sleep, and I can help to heal their body whilst they sleep, through their dreams. It's not an exact science, and of course it's not a magic solution. But a person's mind plays a big part in their body's health, and working with dreams and sleep helps them to heal - or at least, be more at ease and more relaxed. It's useful if someone is very seriously ill, I can help them to have a more peaceful passing for example, which helps both them and their family. I suppose in a way it's a type of seeing as well. If someone has a dream they cannot read, I can share in it with them and help.
I don't know where I learned it, but it's a skill that just developed as I grew up. No, there's no work up here that I know of. I haven't worked for a while, really." He stopped and took a breath, looking to her to see her reaction to all of this.
(OOC: Hey no worries, four days is hardly anything to get yourself worked up over. I really don't mind the wait ^.^)
Zurna was startled by his outburst. Her childish enthusiasm faded as she self-consciously curled in on herself. Her legs came up into her chest and her arms around them, her head lowered to rest atop them. Halfheartedly she listened to Kaven's explanation all the while blaming herself for her ignorance and stupidity.
When he finished explaining she apologized. "I am sorry if I offended you. We are simple people here, I have never heard of anything like that before. I did not know." She fell silent until she noticed his empty bowl. Quickly she rose and took it from him. "I will get you some more," she offered trying to smile before going over to the fire.
It took her longer to get more stew than it should have. Tears filled her eyes as berated herself for her stupidity and then for crying at the drop of a net. 'Pull yourself Z! He's no one. What he thinks is meaningless. You probably won't ever see him again anyways."
Quietly she returned to him and offered him the stew. "I have heard of the mind-body connection," she began trying to break the uncomfortable tension she was experiencing. "I did not think it was real, though. Are there many where you come from that believe this?"
"Oh no, I'm not offended at all!" Kaven rushed to reassure the girl as she moved away from him, sensing that his over-keen passion had shocked her, perhaps. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so vocal about it, but as you can probably tell it's something that I'm very passionate about."
As Zurna returned to his side, Kaven cast a swift, but close, look at her face. She was obviously upset, and he felt awful about it. Taking the stew with a warm smile, he reached out and put one hand on hers, gently. As he continued to speak, more softly this time, he squeezed her hand.
"I suppose - my home village was very open and used to magic of all kinds - not that this is really magic. Dreamweaving is rare, but not totally unheard of, and once I'd proved my skills I was quickly accepted as true." He hesitated, then smiled at her. "Perhaps I will get the chance to demonstrate to you, while I am up here."
Zurna's eyes widened and face flushed as he touched her hand. The blush only deepened as he squeezed her hand and spoke to her softly. 'Thank goodness it's dark in here. If he saw me blushing like a drunkard I think I would kill myself.'
"Maybe you will," she replied. "Although I hope not to understand from firsthand experience. I could scar you for life with what resides up here," she joked pointing to her head. Inside though she saw fire and blood. 'Best leave the demons of the past where they belong, buried and dead.'
"Are the dreams you weave person specific or do you just give a general dream?"
He smiled wryly at her joke. "I've seen worse, trust me. You come to learn that no matter how somebody seems on the outside, you can never guess what's inside their mind. Anyway," he said, becoming less serious. "Dark thoughts and dark dreams rarely make a dark mind, and almost never a dark person. Whatever's up there," he tapped her head lightly, gently, "I'm sure you're a perfectly lovely girl."
"They're... person specific, I suppose. Or a more fitting description would be situation specific. Of course I sit up with the person that I'm working with, so I can change and adapt it all the time."
She smiled softly at his words. "Thank you. You are too kind." She opened her mouth to continue when a net flew and landed on her head.
"Got you!" yelled the twins from the hiding places.
"Did you finish your chores?" she asked trying to untangle herself. The more she struggle, the worse it got.
"Aunt Z we fed the animals, cleaned up our beds, and helped mama with the moss! Can we go pet the horsey now?" said one twin.
"You look silly," the other giggled at Zurna.
Zurna looked to Kaven, her face a desperate plea for help. "The two of them are going to be the death of me," she muttered trying harder to get out of the net. "What did you two do? I'm worse than a fish in this thing!"
Kaven smiled in spite of himself, trying not to let Zurna see his mouth twitch as he reached out to help her. "I'm not going to be much use I'm afraid!" he exclaimed, as he succeeeded only in tangling his own wrist in the net. He turned to the twins. "If your aunt says it's okay, you can go and pet Equi. I'm sure he will like the attention."
Looking back to Zurna, he sighed, reaching his tangled wrists up to her hair, to try and free it. "How do these things work?! It's like some kind of magic!" He laughed, struggling to distangle both himself and Zurna, now.
She laughed and rolled her eyes as Kaven managed to get his hand caught. "Don't move anymore. You'll make it worse," she giggled. Slowly and carefully she began to untangle the two of them. Her eyes stared intently, unblinking as she concentrated on each knot and tangle.
She finally managed to get herself free except for her hand which had further entangled Kaven's. Out of frustration she pulled out her hunting knife and just cut them out of the last little bit. "You two are going to get me in trouble," she glared at the twins. "Go pet the pony, just mind his hooves and don't startle him!"
Zurna took Kaven's hands in her own. "I didn't cut you did I?" she asked now looking his hand over carefully. 'Hiss hand is so much bigger than mine,' she thought blushing again. 'It feels nice, warm.'
"Oh, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed when she realized she was still holding his hand. But, she still did not let go.
Kaven tried to sit perfectly still, letting Zurna's skilled hands free them both from the net. "You understand the way this rope works far better than I ever could," he commented, full of admiration as she worked on the tangles. He flinched slightly as she cut the rope, feeling a momentary flash of steel on his palm, but ignored it as she spoke to the twins, watching her stern expression with some amusement.
"Oh... a little..." he pulled his thoughts back to the real world, glancing down as she took his hand, which now had a tiny trickle of blood attempting to seep out of the cut. "It's only a scratch, though. Goodness knows what I would have done to us both if I'd tried to cut us out!" he joked, putting his other hand on hers to reassure her.
"Zurna Nali! What do you think you are doing, cutting that net!" Zurna flinched slightly at her mother's voice. Seeing the cut on Kaven's hand, Minali added, "and make that boy some healing tea. I won't have him getting sick on us."
"Yes mother," she groaned. "I warned you about how wild mama's got," she winked to him. Efficiently, she made about making the tea. When it was ready she gave Kaven one cup and kept one for herself. The tea settled into her stomach sending out a wave of warmth that spread outward until she felt as if she had her own fireplace residing within her.
Taking out a bone needle, Zurna began the tiring task of repairing the ruined net. "So tell me Kaven, if you do not have dreamweaving business up here, then what do you plan on doing here in Hyoite? You can't have expected to wander around in the snow for forever. Poor Equi would have knocked some sense into you by then I think." She winked, already back to her playful demeanor.
Kaven took the cup, wiping away the droplet of blood absentmindedly. "Thank you." Cupping the tea between his hands he sipped at it slowly, watching Zurna work. The fine art of making and repairing things with his hands had never been one that he could master - although his hands were good at healing people, they always seemed worse than useless when dealing with inanimate objects.
"Well partly, I suppose, I might find some work up here. Quite often there are people I can help who would never have thought to seek a dreamweaver, or who are just interested in finding out about the art. And... it's about as far away from La'marri as it is possible for one to get, let alone being as different from the place. And I desperately needed a change of scenery. I suppose, as well... I'm looking for some answers of my own."
He stopped, a flush spreading across his cheeks as he confessed.
"Then answers you shall find," she said smiling to him. "This land has a way about it. If you ever find yourself getting confused with life, or who you are, or what you want, then just take a step outside the door and walk. Walk and walk until you stop thinking. Then, you will know the answer to what you seek. You see, it is the heart the always knows the right answer, but sometimes we let it get drowned out by our own minds, our desires and expectations. The tundra doesn't have that. It's cold and cruel yet beautiful. It teaches us a lot about ourselves, we just need to know how to listen."
Zurna looked back down. 'Excellent way to scare him, Z.'
"Well, if you don't think it too bold of me, I would like it if you stayed with us while you are here. I am sure it would beat freezing outside talking your poor pony's ear off. We are a large family, we could use help, especially as some of us age," she sad lowering her voice and looking towards the elders on the other side of the tent. "I am sure we could find some way to barter services, that is if you are willing."
Kaven nodded slowly as Zurna spoke, staring into the fire thoughtfully. Maybe she had a good point... perhaps the atmosphere up here would be good for him, at last. He glanced up as she finished speaking, and smiled.
"Well, if your family would find that acceptable, then yes, I'd like to stay... I don't know where I was planning on sleeping or anything, really. And Equi would certainly benefit from being in the warm." He paused. "Of course, I wouldn't ask for anything, just somewhere to shelter - I'd try not to be an inconvenience at all. But I'll help in any way that I can. I don't have much in the way of skills that might be useful here, I'm afraid - but I'll do my best."
"You would be of no inconvenience to us. Our home is always open to those who seek refuge within it. Do not worry about what talents you do or do not have. Time always shows us what we are meant to do when we are meant to do it. I am sure that your dream-weaving made itself known when it was deemed necessary. Worst comes to worst you can follow me around and keep my little monsters out of trouble," she told him turning the conversation more lighthearted again.
"For now just relax, tonight you are our guest. Tomorrow you can worry about helping us. Although," she said thoughtfully, "perhaps you could be of some help." Her eyes twinkled in the firelight. "If you could, I need an extra pair of hands for carding wool. The twins either refuse to sit still long enough or get it tangled. All you have to do is hold the wool rings between around your hands and keep it from falling or tangling while I roll it into skeins. You don't have to if you don't want to though."
Zurna pulled out a woven basket behind her and began lifting up one of the wool rings. "We could share stories too. I am sure there is much of your homeland that I have not heard of. I always love a good story! Manaia knows I have enough tales of my brothers' "adventures" to last several life times."
Kaven laughed, picturing himself trying to corral the small children, and reached out his hands for the wool ring. Holding it uncertainly between both of his hands, he smiled at Zurna. "Like this?"
"I'd like that - sharing stories. Where I come from is such a small place, it seems as if we never get many stories. Although so many people pass through, I'm sure there are plenty!" He laughed again, thinking fondly of his home village. "Do all of your brothers still live in this area?"
Zurna laughed and assisted him in holding it better. Her fingers lingered a bit as they brushed against his warm flesh. Slowly, she pulled away and began carding the wool. 'He has a kind heart. I like that about him. I wonder how long he will stay.'
"My brothers? Well I guess relatively speaking they do. In the spring and summer they tend to go their own ways, with their own families. As the families get older they tend to return to us though, like my eldest brothers. We take care of each other. Otherwise, we tend to try to spread. Twenty-six head families with grand and great-grand generations in the eldest ones takes a toll on the land. By separating we do better at feeding and caring for us all. I do not see much of my middle brothers and their families. This is why each family gathering is so important to us. You don't know which one will be the last, or the first for some," she added smiling.
"Last year was the first one for the twins. We found that I have many more nieces and nephews now. I love children, but that many at one time is a lot. In many ways I am the favored aunt. I do not know if that is because I am one of the youngest or because I am the only direct daughter. Do you like children Kaven? I find them the best storytellers. Even those that travel the caravan routes do not tell things as beautifully or as artfully as them. There is something about that childlike innocence that makes things," she waved her hands openly.
"I cannot explain," she laughed shaking her head. "Now I believe as the guest you should tell the first story. Perhaps something of your childhood? Or whatever comes to mind. I am not a picky audience."
Kaven sat cross-legged and quiet, smiling as Zurna talked to him, and trying to imagine what it would be like to have such a big family. "I'll bet it is because you are so fun - you seem to have such a way of bringing laughter into a conversation." He said warmly, in response to her comment about being a favourite aunt. "In a way, you remind me of my sister. She is constantly laughing, and dancing around. She brings joy to the whole company, wherever she is." He smiled fondly, thinking of his beloved sister before he moved on. "I do like children, yes - they are so honest ... not that that is always a blessing!"
He moved toward her slightly, watching intently as she worked the wool, and tried to think of a story. "Well, speaking of my sister, you should have seen her when my dreamweaving skills first made themselves known. I was fairly young - much too young to control it - but our parents and the elders of the village knew that it was an important gift. My sister was much younger, still a small child, and she couldn't understand why suddenly, I was getting so much attention." He grinned. "So one day, when a gathering was being held at our hut, to discuss my talent, she snapped. She packed up all her worldly belongings - two dresses, a toy doll, and my favourite game - and marched out into the room, announcing that she was leaving home until we paid attention to her again!" He laughed, properly now. "Of course, there was no where she could go. She took our pet dog, and went to sit in the garden of her friends' house until sunset... when my parents went to fetch her home. She'd completely forgotten about running away, and came home as though nothing had happened!"
Zurna laughed as Kaven told his tale. "Your sister does sound like me. When I was younger I got very mad at being told I could not join my brothers because I was a girl. Like now I had very long hair, that I was quite proud of. Yotar, my "twin" as it were, told me that if I cut my hair like boy I could play with the boys."
"And she did," Zurna's mother interrupted. "She cut all of her hair off right down to the wick."
"And you wouldn't let me outside for two months for that," Zurna rejoined grumpily.
Minali ruffled her daughter's hair, smiling at their guest. "Zurna is our special one. We prayed for a daughter and the sea gave her to us." The older woman bent low to kiss her only daughter's cheek. Her movements were slowed with age but that did not stop her.
"Mother! That is not something you go around telling people," Zurna cried flushing in embarrassment.
Her mother just laughed before making her way back to her seat.
"If you need something just ask Zurna. She will take care of your needs, as long as you are our guest her," she told Kaven. Zurna continued to stew, her face now a dark red.
"Tell me Kaven, is your mother as mortifying as mine?" she asked, mock-glaring towards the laughing elders.
Kaven laughed heartily at the story, eyeing Zurna's hair. "Well I'm glad you've grown it now! The long hair very much suits you... I'm not so sure about a bald look!" He grinned at her, nodding at her mother as he was spoken to. "Thank you, ma'am."
Seeing Zurna still embarassed, he reached out a hand to her shoulder, resting it there gently. "I think our elders feel that they have earned the right to mortify us at all opportunities!" He squeezed her shoulder before returning to his task of holding the wool. "My mother is indeed skilled at doing so... when I was younger, she managed to embarass me in front of every pretty girl that passed through the village!"
A warm tingling remained long after Kaven's hand had left her. Zurna could not help but feel that she wanted the hand to remain. 'Zurna Nali! Control yourself, you are better than some winter harlot looking for a skin to warm up under! He is just being kind and here you are thinking up ways to make him stay. He's not interested in you anyway,' she tried to reason.
"I wouldn't know if my mother shares that same quality. Anytime a man has had a chance at meeting her, my brother's beat her to it." Leaning forward she added quietly, "I'm actually surprised they haven't started on you yet. Best be wary of them. The triplets are the worst," she told him winking.
A blast of cold air ran through the tent as the wind-flushed faces of Zurna's twin nieces charged in. "Bedtime you two," Zurna called looking over to them. Finishing up her skein, she thanked Kaven and placed it back in her basket. "Care to help wrangle some monsters?" she asked him moving to chase and corner one of the laughing twins.
"I'll be on the lookout for attacks in the night!" Kaven laughed as Zurna warned him of her brothers. "Hopefully I can convince them that my intentions are honourable... whether they are or not!" He winked at Zurna playfully, before turning as the twins rushed in.
"Here!" He corralled the other twin, gently wrestling the giggling child. "Did you have fun with the pony?" He asked, taking her hand to lead her over to Zurna. "I hope you didn't get him too excited before bed!" He released the child and smiled at Zurna. "Now, listen to your aunt... I believe it's bedtime for you, too."
Having at last caught the giddy duo, Zurna finally put them to bed. She cared for them deeply, her mothering qualities shining through as she tucked them into their shared furs snugly. Charismatically. she told them two stories, lulling them to sleep with her rising and falling voice.
Smiling, she kissed their brows and rose to move to the other side of the fire. As she had told her stories the elders and other family members had settled down, returning to their own tents. The only ones remaining besides Zurna, were the twins, Zurna's parents and Kaven.
'He must be tired,' she realized suddenly. 'I better make him up a bed, or he is going to be cold.' Pulling out a pile of furs she began to make beds next to each other for both herself and Kaven. "Do you think you will be warm enough there?" she asked as she placed his furs by the fire. "I can add more blankets if you want. We keep the fire going all night, so you it won't go out and make you cold. But, sometimes there can be a draft."
She turned her back to him so he wouldn't see her embarrassment. 'How could he ever find comfort here. I'm sure he is used to much better things. A real bed with real blankets. I hope this is alright though. This is the best I can offer.' Her shoulders drooped the more she thought about it.
Zurna settled down onto her bed pulling the covers onto her lap. "I do not know how tired you are. We can stay up and talk some more if you like? I'm not chasing you to bed like the little ones," she told him. She tried to smile but, her concern over his comfort turned it into a pathetic effort.
((OOC: Think you could give me a brief description of their tents? Not that it matters, but I'm wondering if they're just one big room, or have sectioned-off bits, or what? Just to picture it more clearly :) ))
Kaven had moved so that he could watch Zurna putting the twins to bed, smiling as he watched her fuss over them like a mother. The love she had for these two children - and the bond of the whole family - was something truly heartwarming. It simultaneously made him feel homesick and at home, and as he listened to her stories he allowed his mind to wander. He thought of his own sister, growing up without him there - a thought which saddened him momentarily. Of course, he smiled to himself, she would be far too busy dancing around the village, charming everyone and everything, to miss him too terribly. And until he had come to Hyoite, they had been in regular contact by letter...
As Zurna returned, Kaven became aware that his eyes had drooped, and roused himself with an effort to help her make up the beds. "This is perfect. Really." He smiled across the furs at her, pulling his bedding slightly closer to hers. "It looks like the cosiest place I have ever had the pleasure to sleep in."
He tucked the covers around himself, and turned on his side to face her. "I admit... I am tired." He laughed slightly at himself. "I'm afraid I'm not better company for you tonight... and as good a conversationalist as you are, I may have to call it a night. Do you mind?"
Zurna smiled back to him before letting out a big yawn. "Excuse me," she giggled covering her mouth. "It seems I too am quite tired. Perhaps rest is best." She gave one last stretch, reaching her arms far above her head, before laying back and snuggling deep beneath the warm furs.
"Good night, Kaven. Pleasant dreams to you," she murmured tiredly. She let the sound, warmth, and smell of the fire lull her into restful sleep. For a long while Zurna seemed to just drift about in a black sea of nothingness. On good nights this had been her safety zone. A place of no dreams but also of no nightmares or memories.
Tonight she did not stay there long. Quickly a swirling black and gray vortex reeking of fear and death engulfed her. Blinding flashes of memories flickered before her eyes. A pool of red. Falling. Soft, white fur. A child's laugh. Drowning. Running. Chasing. Piercing shrieks. A small hand trapped under the ice. The sound of eggshells being crushed.
On and on the images went, knitting themselves together until they could form the complete memory. Over the years, Zurna had never been able to forget the events that took place when she was a child. But, that had not stopped her from trying to bury the memories. In the beginning there had been months where she had struggled to sleep out of fear for the dreams that awaited her. Now older, the dreams came less and less often. However, every time they did, they became more vibrant, more detailed and closer to being complete.
The worse part was that Zurna could never free herself from the memories nor fully complete them. Once they had reached the endpoint of the night, they would start over, playing again and again, unchanging. The dreams never finished. Pieces were still missing and Zurna still tried to bury the pieces that remained. It was a vicious cycle she felt she would never be freed from.
Outwardly, her hands clenched and her palms and brow began to sweat. Inwardly, the dreams began again for the third of hundreds of times.
"Good night, Zurna." Kaven rolled onto his back and lay there silently, staring upwards through the darkness. The tent was already silent except for the rustling of the fire, a constant crackle that, for a while, kept Kaven from sleep. He frowned slightly, trying to let his mind wander into pleasant memories. And as he mentally walked through the cool forests of La'marri, his eyes began to close...
***
Deep into the night, as the darkness stretched towards dawn, the tent looked peaceful. All the sleeping bodies were comfortable in their own piles of furs, only the occasional sigh or stir breaking the peace. The fire, burnt down to a soft glow, flickered away to itself, one curling spire of smoke hovering in the still air like a question mark. Kaven's body was still, his face contorted into a vague frown - but from the outsider's perspective, all was well.
Not so on the inside. In his mind, terror reigned and Kaven battled blindly against forces he could not understand. It was freezing cold in his dream, and Kaven's physical body began to twitch and shiver despite the furs he slept in. Murmers began to escape from his lips as he shook, and dreamed on.
He seemed to be standing on the egde of a great chasm, surrounded by blackness and buffeted in every direction by a wind stronger than could possibly exist in reality. Dark shapes, darker even than this fake night, swirled around him, forcing him to duck and fall from his precarious position... sliding down the edges of the chasm...
The dream changed and he was dimly aware of a bleak red glow around him. Streaks of crimson liquid pooled around his feet, running over the ground from the foot of a huge, dimly seen mountain.
A scream. The flash of a figure in the distance. He shouted out to her, trying to warn her. No good - a storm had picked up and she was falling away from him as he rushed through the thickening flood of red. "Nooooo!"
"Nooooo!" the same shout escaped his lips back in the tent as he began to toss more violently, his body and hair wringing with sweat, and he sat bolt upright, blind in the darkness.
Zurna jolted awake with Kaven's shout. Her quickly adjusting to the dark room, she scanned her surroundings trying to find the disturbance. Her parents remained sound asleep as did the twins. From the corner of her eye she was able to see her guest's violent thrashing. Moving quickly, she was at his side and trying to wake him. "Kaven?" she called softly not wishing to startle him. She knew that he probably would not be able to see her right away and that he might be a bit disorientated. "Are you alright?"
Worriedly, she threw two more bundles of peat onto the fire, flaring it back into life. One of her jobs was to ensure the fire never went out. Even summers on the tundra could be fatally cold, nights especially. On her way back to Kaven's side she grabbed up a cloth and the water jug. By now he was sitting up. She dipped the cloth in the jug, gently wiping the sweat off his brow. "You must have been dreaming. It's alright now, it was just a dream."
'He is a dreamweaver. Are there ever such things as "just a dream" with them?' Despite her skeptical thoughts, she smiled at him comfortingly. "Do you want to talk about it? I know nightmares tend to go away after we have expressed them."
'Even though my refuse to. Perhaps we are more alike than I gave us credit for. Unless, did he see my nightmares? Is it me that caused him to wake in fear? Did I do this? Manaia please tell me this is not my fault. I could not live with myself if I could him this pain.'
"Uh.... Sisi?" Kaven said dazedly into the darkness, hearing his name called as if from far away. As the the light flared, the room swam back into focus in front of his eyes, and he turned to see Zurna. "Is Sisi here?" he asked again, still confused as to where he was. Then the coolness of the cloth pressed into his forehead and he remembered.
"Oh, Zurna! Yes ... Just a dream." He sighed and rested his head against Zurna's shoulder, weak from his mental ordeal. "I don't think this one will ever go away for me." He spoke simply and sadly, closing his eyes in distress. Without even thinking about it, he leaned closer into the warm kindness of Zurna.
She was somewhat surprised that he leaned against her but, did not remove her support. In fact, Zurna moved completely behind Kaven so that her back rested against a support beam. Gently she pulled him to lay back against her. "Relax," she hummed to him running the damp cloth over his face and neck. "I've got you, you're safe. Just try and relax, Kaven."
Zurna picked up another cloth close by and began to dry him off as best as she could. 'Best be careful he doesn't catch a chill. I wonder if I should make him some tea.' She looked down at their current position and realized how much of her emotional stability he was relying on. 'I'll just have to make sure he drinks some in the morning. He really should get some sleep, poor thing.'
"Was it a memory or a recurring dream?" she asked as she rocked gently from side to side unthinkingly. The movement was a self-soothing reflexive move for her own jittery nerves, she had no idea what it would do for Kaven. "Here, rest. You can tell me more tomorrow," she resolved. Running her fingers through his hair and humming she tried to lull them both back to at the very least, a dozing consciousness. "If you need me just call," she mumbled out.
Personally, she was torn in several directions. Part of her desired to stay away to avoid her own nightmares which may or may not have caused Kaven's. Another part wanted to stay awake to watch over him in case of more nightmares. But, the final part begged for sleep. Zurna was no longer accustomed to long days of hard-work followed by little to no sleep. Her body felt heavy and achy as it tried to force her mind to shutdown and let her rest. She was so tired that her eyes remained half-open and would lazily blink every so often.'I hope he will be alright,' was her last semi-conscious thought before she began to lightly doze.
Kaven breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling with more regularity now as Zurna calmed him. He was only dimly aware of her actions and speech as he lay huddled against her, feeling her care and affection radiating through her into himself. She was strong and collected, her gentle actions lulling him into a sense of security that allowed him to calm down from his nightmare and think about it logically.
"Recurring..." he managed to murmer in response to her last question, casting a rueful memory over the years of nightmares. "Always recurring."
He felt Zurna slip into her doze, by now becoming attuned to her conscious, on the most basic level at least. He turned his body slightly so that his weight was not leaning too heavily on her, instead moving so that he could support her more comfortably, wanting to do something small in return for her kindness. He pulled up a fur over them and lapsed into a semi-conscious state, his mind running over and over the different elements of the dream, as it did every night.
He could stay like that until morning, assuming there were no other interruptions to their night...
Zurna faded in and out of sleep up until the twins woke up and decided they wanted to spend time with their favorite aunt. With help from their grandmother they took the heavy cooking pot and hung it by Zurna's ear and then proceeded to bang it and create a massive ruckus.
Startled by the sound, she jerked awake and managed to bang her head back into the support beam she had been leaning against. Groaning, she tried to fall forward holding her head only to discover a weight resting against her. Wearily she opened her eyes to see Kaven with her and the twins grinning toothily at them from beside her.
Zurna glared murderously at the girls, not even needing to say anything to get her point across. Traditionally, she would rise with or before the sun to go outside and say her prayers before starting her day. The fact that the sun was rising high in the sky and she was still asleep was sign enough that something was off and she should not be disturbed.
"Girls perhaps you should spend the day with your mother in town today," she whispered, struggling to keep her cool despite her pounding headache. Cara made a move to protest but, one look from Minali quickly silenced her and set both the little girls on their way.
Zurna took one look at Kaven and just shook her head. It was not until her mother had brought the both of them a cup of tea and Zurna had drank it all down that she actually started to look lively again. "You have to forgive Zurna, dear," Minali told Kaven. "She does not like being woken up in the morning. She won't start really hold a conversation with you for another hour. By now though she should be able to talk to you without grunting or throwing something," the elderly woman laughed, winking at the younger man.
To say the least, Zurna was not impressed. "Congratulations mother, that will be the first time you have managed to mortify me in front of a guest." Rubbing her head she muttered, "so glad this morning is starting out on the right path."
After ingesting another cup, she was feeling more ready to hold a conversation. "Kaven would you care to help me with my chores this morning? I have to gather some more moss and then maybe we can fish for lunch. If that sounds alright with you? Otherwise you can get stuck with net repair with the old people," she emphasized glaring at her smirking matriarch.
Kaven awoke with a jump, startled out of his thoughts by a loud clang. "Oww." He mumbled, head hurting from the disturbed night. As Zurna moved against him, he opened his eyes and shifted sideways to allow her space to move. He watched her interactions with the twins lazily, smiling as she managed to organise them even in her tired, aching state.
He reached up for the cup of tea and nodded his thanks to Zurna's mother. "Oh, I can be just the same - and my sister is ten times worse." He smiled, looking across at Zurna. "Neither of us has the ability to function so well, or look so pretty first thing." He winked and raised his cup to his lips again, drinking it slowly as he watched Zurna gradually come round.
"I'd love to go with you - hopefully I can learn a new skill or two and help to repay you for being so hospitable." He stood up and stretched, holding out a hand to help up Zurna, if she wished. "Is your head alright? I should have something for the pain, if you'd like."
"My head will be fine once the infernal ringing in my ears ceases!" Zurna growled out. Moodily she got up and cleaned up her bedroll and sleeping things. Bundling up in her outdoor clothes, she kissed her mother goodbye, and practically dragged Kaven out of the tent.
She kept up this pace until they were out of sight of her home. Then, she released her grasp and slowed her pace. "My apologies friend. Mornings and families just do not mix for me. There is a very big reason I do morning prayers and you just saw part of it."
Zurna smiled sweetly and began to start talking about the work they would be doing. She told him on the way how she would have to stand in the marsh and harvest the peat while he bundled it for her. "When we get there I will show you and then you can try. Don't worry too much. If you can tie a knot you can do this. My job is the harder part only because it involves getting cold, wet and muddy."
Looking ahead, she pointed out to him how the snow became slush up ahead and revealed mushy brown earth. "That's the marsh. Careful where you step or you may end up waist deep in muck. The ice is also really deceptive here, it might be best if you just follow where I step," she directed him.
Hurrying along behind Zurna, Kaven gazed around appreciatively, looking at the unspoilt blankets of snow covering the cold ground. As they closed down he shivered and let out a breath that hung like smoke in the freezing morning air. "Do not apologise - I know what families can be like." He smiled warmly and listened to her chatter about their work.
As they reached the marsh he listened carefully and nodded, falling into step behind her to try and avoid the treacherous ground. He frowned slightly. "Your half of this sounds very uncomfortable - are you sure you wouldn't prefer to swap? You will end up so wet and cold! I would rather that be my fate than yours."
Zurna laughed. "You are kind Kaven, but really I am used to this. Besides, it will be less messy if I do it than you. There is a trick I have found to balancing on the marsh. There have even been days, although few, where I have not really gotten wet at all."
Smiling broadly she gave Kaven a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Thank you for asking though. Here, let me show you the trick to rolling the moss and then we can get started." Straddling one of the peat beds, Zurna quickly uprooted several patches of the necessary fire fuel. Laying these patches out flat she showed him how to use the forearm and elbow to squeeze out as much of the moisture as possible.
"The dryer the moss is, the easier it is to light. It also makes it easier for us to roll. When it's wet it just tends to clump and fall apart. The flattening it to drain stops that from happening," she explained. From there she just rolled up the patch and then tied it together with some weed grass she uprooted from where she was standing.
"I know it takes some getting used to, but once you get the hang it, it goes quickly. Before you know it, we will be further downstream getting ready to make lunch! Now if you need help just give me a holler. I will bring the squares up to you so that you can wring them out. Any questions before I go?" she finally asked preparing to wade out into the muck.
Kaven crouched down and watched closely, mimicking Zurna's actions as best as he could to squelch the water from the moss. "Right, I think I've got it" He smiled up at her, taking the finished bundle from her to set it aside. "I'll be alright doing this - just throw them over and I'll do it as fast as I can."
He waved her off and squatted at the side of the marsh, idly ripping out some more reed grass and braiding it to use as ties. Whistling, he watched her as she made her way away from him, smiling to himself and preparing for a few hours of work.
The hours were grueling for Zurna but seemed to pass quickly. She like being able to work with someone more reliable than her young nieces. It certainly made things faster for her when she knew she did not have to keep a close on them both for the correctness of the job but also for their own safety as well.
Hauling up the last of the moss squares, Zurna helped Kaven finish up. "It looks great! With your help I was able to get done twice as much in half the time. I cannot begin to tell you how much help you have been," she praised, meaning every word of it. "And look," she said motioning to her clothes, "I didn't do too bad after all." Sure enough Zurna was draw and only a little bit muddy on her boots and hands. However, at some point she had reached up and touched her face because her left cheek now sported a nice mud handprint.
"Are you hungry?" As soon as we finish this we can eat if you like. If not we can carry these all back home and then deal with the chaos of too many people at mealtime. The choice is yours though, since you have been such an enormous help to me."
As the time went by, Kaven found himself getting into the rhythm of the task and took care to do it well. He made sure to press every drop of moisture out of the mosses, having no desire to ruin the family's fuel, of all things! In between Zurna arriving with fresh materials he found himself lost in thought, daydreaming of all that he had seen in his travels. The tundra was certainly something entirely new to him, though, and the friendship he had struck up with Zurna was putting a good impression on a place he had initally been expecting to be desolate and unfriendly.
"Brilliant," he grinned at her as they finished, standing up and stretching. He thought for a moment. "Well, while I do enjoy chaos, and many people who want to warn me away from you," he laughed, "why don't we stay out? If you didn't mind, that is. That way we could talk."
Looking at her properly, he smiled. "Here, you've got..." He reached his thumb out to wipe her cheek, ever so gently. "... mud on your face."
"I actually prefer it out here, so that works out wonderfully." Confused she watched as he moved his hand towards her face and then brushed away the mud. "Oh!" she exclaimed running a hand over where he had just touched.
She could not help the blush that flushed her cheeks as she realized his touch left a tingly feeling behind. "Thank you," she said much quieter. 'Perhaps he will just think my cheeks are red from the wind. I hope he does. I would be humiliated if he realized that I am starting to find him cute. Oh Zurna! Get that thought out of your head before it becomes infectious!'
"We can just leave the bundles here. Nothing will disturb them and then we can get them on the way back." Zurna began to head off further downstream, a pair of wooden rods in hand. "Have you ever fished before, Kaven?"
Kaven cocked his head to the side curiously, watching as Zurna's face flushed. Now, that was interesting... "I hope I didn't offend you," he added hurriedly, worried that the flush was one of anger. He dropped his hand to his side and took a small step back, just in case he had overstepped the boundary.
Still concerned, he was glad when Zurna set off moving, and he followed her as they made their way downstream. "I have once or twice, on my travels. But it is certainly not something I'm proficient in."
"Offend me? What ever gave you that impression?" she questioned what she deemed a complete nonsequitor. "Believe me, ask any of my brothers, if I am mad with you, you'll know it. It'll be my fist in your face." She inwardly winced as she realized what she just said. 'Fantastic Zurna! Just scare the life out of the boy why don't you!'
"I mean, I would obviously not do that to you. You don't make me mad like my brothers do. Or rather you don't make me mad at all, yet, ever, I hope." Zurna had to strongly suppress the urge to physically slap herself. 'Manaia strike me down where I stand so that I may escape the humiliation brought upon me by my own wayward tongue.'
Seeing that they had arrived at her favorite fishing spot, Zurna quickly steered the conversation away from her own stupidity and onto the topic of lunch. "If you can try and get a fire started with some of the weeds and my flint, I'll catch lunch," she suggested smiling.
"It doesn't matter." Kaven shrugged off his own question, and laughed as Zurna accidently threatened him, and then confused herself. "I also hope I won't make you mad," he responded, still laughing. "But if I ever do, then feel free to introduce your fist to my face." He winked. "I'm sure I will have earned it, if you feel such a desire!"
Taking the flint off Zurna, he crouched down and made a small, compact pit for the fire. It took a few minutes, the ground being damp by the water, but it wasn't long until he had a small fire crackling away - just the right size for their lunch. He glanced over at Zurna as she fished. "How are you getting on?"
As Zurna crouched beside the stream, she caught herself several times watching Kaven out of the corner of her eye. 'Zurna Nali! He knows how to make a fire. Give the man some peace, it's not like he is about to set himself on fire.' Despite her internal reprimands, she knew that was not the reason she was watching him. Getting herself to admit that was an entirely separate issue though.
She moved to balance on a rock in the middle of the stream, waiting patiently. Just as he asked her about lunch her hands dove into the water and flipped out a fish over her shoulder. The flopping trout landed wetly right beside Kaven. Looking over her shoulder she smiled impishly. "I think it's going well. What say you?"
Zurna cocked her head towards where she had dropped her bag and the pair of rods as well. "The rods are for cooking the fish on, if you just want to uh, kill it," she giggled. 'I wonder how outdoors savoy he is. Can you he cook fish?'
"If you just give me a minute to catch another I can take care of it," she told him distractedly. Her focus had returned to trying to catch the rest of lunch. Zurna's eyes darted back and forth following the currents and the fish that flitted about within it.
Plunging her hands in once more she felt a surge of pride as she pulled out an even larger trout than the first. This time though she did not bother flipping it over her shoulder and just stood up holding it. However, the moment she moved to hop off the rock onto land, the fish decided it did not desire to become a meal and began wriggling for its life. Startled, Zurna lost her balance and slipped, falling back into the waters.
Sputtering, she sat back up. Lifting her arms above her head she began to laugh, for clasped firmly in her hands was the mammoth fish. "I got it!" she called over to Kaven, slowly wading back out of stream. "So much for not getting wet though."
Focussing on the baby fire, Kaven had been totally unaware of Zurna's gaze upon him. Particularly, as he wasn't keen on the idea of messing up something as basic as a fire with her watching.
"I can do it," Kaven picked up the flapping trout with some distaste. He could kill and cook animals and fish, yes, but it wasn't a task that he always relished. "You focus on getting the next one." With one swift motion he had killed the fish, and slid it onto the rod provided, propping the whole contraption up over the fire so that the fish could cook slowly.
Suddenly hearing the splash, he leapt up, eyes wide as he saw Zurna sitting in the water. In spite of himself, his lips curled and he began to laugh as she did, reaching out one hand to take the fish from her, and the other to help her out of the stream. "So much indeed! You'll freeze to death if you keep those wet clothes on, though!" His smile faded as he considered the problem.
"How about we get you in my coat, as soon as we've sorted this fish out?"
"No really I'm fine," she protested through chattering teeth. "I just need to sit by the fire and I will dry off in not time." Zurna shuffled her way over to the fire, dropping her drenched wrap to the side as she flopped down in front of the warming embers. "See," she said rubbing her hands together rapidly. "No harm done."
'Can't have both of us freezing to death. If he takes his coat of for me, he will be so cold. He is not used to weather like I am. It's better this way,' she tried to reason with herself. 'I don't want him to get sick because of my clumsiness.'
Zurna hunkered closer, now rubbing her hands around her chest and sides in order to generate heat. "I'll take care of the fish," she said reaching her hands out for it, the stick now resting across her crossed legs. "Come talk with me."
"Hmmm," Kaven eyed Zurna suspiciously as she shrugged off his offer. She looked pretty cold to him, and her clothes were soaked through. He moved towards her and crouched down. "I still think you need an extra layer.... look at you." He reached for a wet strand of hair, pushing it away from her neck gently. "I don't want you to get ill... then your brothers really would kill me!"
Settling onto his knees, he shrugged off his coat and held it out, motioning for her to put it around her shoulders. "Please. If you won't take off those wet things, at least use this as a barrier from the cold until you dry out a bit."
He widened his eyes, going for an exaggerated 'cute' look. "Please, Zurna Nali?"
Moss colored eyes shifted between staring at the coat and its owner. "If I wear it then what will you wear? My brothers wouldn't kill you for that, only maim you. I would much rather have you alive and beaten by my brothers than dead from frostbite," she giggled despite her words. "And don't for a second that those eyes will work on me. You forget, I am the only daughter and have twenty-five older brothers. I am well-versed in the power behind those eyes, Kaven Damal."
Zurna smirked back at him, before scooting closer to the fire. She worked on unbraiding her sopping hair and wringing it out. She knew getting that and her feet dry would greatly help with her warmth issue. Fluffing her hair out by the fire and flicking water droplets about, she looked over to Kaven with a tilted head. "Unless you can figure out a way for us to share that coat together, I'm not wearing it," she teased him playfully.
He smiled and sighed as Zurna rebuffed his attempts to give her the coat. "Fine... it's not my best trick anyway," he laughed, dropping the cutesy expression. "My sister however, is an expert in using it... it must be a little-sister thing." He teased her gently, watching as she unbraided her hair.
Watching her fingers working through her dark hair, he smiled to himself unconsciously, noticing for the first time how pretty her hair was. He felt an inexplicable urge to be the one combing through it, instead of her, and almost reached out to touch... That was when the water droplets splattered onto his face, shaking him from his reverie.
He laughed and put the coat back on, rising to her challenge. "Okay... so why don't we both wear it? It's a big coat..." He scooted up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist so that the large coat followed suit, enveloping them both in its warm folds. "How's this?" He said against her ear, hoping that she wasn't about to slap him for getting too close.
Her eyes widened as he quickly maneuvered them into a cuddled position. Her cheeks became inflamed and she lowered her head shyly. Zurna was at a loss for words. "Now we will both be wet," she mumbled into her damp hair. The weight of his arms around her waist, sent chills up and down her spine. Blaming it on the cold, she snuggled back closer to his warmth.
With lowered head, she pressed her cheek to her shoulder and looked over to him through her lashes. "It's...fine," she said, smiling softly. Tentatively, Zurna allowed herself to lean back and relax into his embrace. 'He's so sweet. I must have kept him up half the night with my dreams and here he is, out in the cold helping me and now looking after me.' She took a slow calming breath, registering his scent and smiling with half-mast eyes. "Mm, smell nice," she whispered under her breath. So comfortable was she, that she did not even realize she had spoken aloud.
Confident that he wasn't about to be slapped, Kaven relaxed into the cuddle, pulling Zurna close to him. He rested his chin on top of her head, one hand combing through her hair gently, smoothing it away from her back. He felt a warm rush of comfort spreading through him as he sat, still petting her absent mindedly, and let his eyes half-close against the light of the fire, his mind blissfully blank.
"Hmm?" He heard her speak, so quietly he thought for a moment that he'd imagined it. He took a second to register what she'd said, then grinned. "Well, thank you, Miss Nali." He tilted his head down, speaking into her hair. As he finished, he dropped a kiss on top of her head and tightened his arm around her waist.
Kaven's warmth and soothing touches left Zurna relaxed to the point of falling asleep right then and there. She loved the feeling of his fingers running through her hair and along her scalp. It was reminiscent of her childhood when her mother would do the same. The gesture had always been comforting, even now it brought a lazy smile to her lips.
'Is this what it's like?' she thought as he held her tighter and kissed her head. 'Is this what Sonia feels when Yotar holds her? Is this what I have been missing out on?' Her thoughts began to trail off as she dozed lightly, listening to the fire crackling and Kaven breathing. Zurna's head lolled back onto his shoulder as she burrowed deeper into his warm embrace.
A while later, a particularly loud pop from the fire startled her back into alertness. Jumping slightly, Zurna's eyes flew open and she looked around before she remembered where she was. Blushing, she realized how improper her current position was. 'He was only trying to keep me warm. We weren't doing anything!' her mind protested, already thinking of how her brothers would react if they knew. Looking over to the fish she noticed that the one was starting to burn and the other was smoking. "The fish!" she cried pulling away from his embrace to get to the food.
Eyes closed, Kaven had been in a world of his own, dreaming of past times. He hadn't loosened his grip on Zurna, but allowed himself to relax into her, his cheek resting against her hair. For the first time in months, he dared to dream of the possibility that he may be happy again, that perhaps all hope was not lost. He sighed deeply to himself, and was about to speak when Zurna pulled forwards.
"Oh - the fish!" His eyes snapped open as she rushed away from him, a flicker of disappointment evident on his face. "I forgot about that." He forced a casual smile, reaching out for the fish.
As Kaven went for the food, Zurna reached into her rucksack and pulled out a pair of wooden bowls. Smiling shyly up at him before looking back down at her hands, her cheeks flushed again. She quietly helped him dish out the food. If her hands brushed against his more than necessary, Zurna was not about to admit it.
Sitting back down in the snow, she bowed over her food, uttering a silent prayer in thanks. Zurna never raised her head again, as she played with her food. 'Say something! What does one say after...cuddling? Get a hold of yourself Z! It's not like he wants to marry you, he just was trying to keep you warm.'
"Thank you," she motioned her hand as if searching for the word, "for you know." Tearing a piece of fish off with her fingers, she half-heartedly began to nibble on it before wincing and dropping it back into the bowl. "Still hot." She smiled up at him before looking at the snow to his left. "Sorry it's not much. I'm nothing like the cook my mother is. You should have better fare tonight."
'What am I doing? Why do I feel like I am missing something? I wish he would hold me again. Wait! Where did that come from? I must be getting sick,' she thought shaking her head slightly. Zurna placed one hand on her forehead, rubbing it as if to ward of an oncoming headache. 'I am just getting sick, from the cold. That must be it. Mother is going to skin me alive for this.'
"Hey, you brought bowls!" Kaven smiled, properly this time, and took his food off Zurna. "Clever," he remarked light-heartedly, not expecting her to be carrying crockery around in the snow. He fell silent as she prayed, letting her finish before he began to eat.
"You don't need to thank me," he said warmly, as she fumbled. "I would warm you up any time, Zurna." He was dimly aware that he was flirting, taking himself by surprise. It was a nice feeling though, able to enjoy light-hearted discussions with a woman, without feeling that nagging guilt within him. "And the food is delicious," he added, taking care to blow on the fish before he ate.
As he did, he looked with some concern at Zurna rubbing her head. "Are you alright? Do you feel ill?" he asked, eyes full of worry.
'Warm me up anytime?' she blinked. 'Did I hear that right? Is he...flirting with me? No, definitely getting sick.' She shook her head again. "I'm fine," she replied, letting her hand fall away. "I just didn't sleep well last night. Nothing to worrry about."
Zurna shared a bright smile with him before a question from earlier plagued her. "Speaking of sleep, when you dream, do you see the dreams of others? Or is that more of intentional thing, you can only do it when you want to do it?" She stared at him intently, her mind reflecting on past fears and memories, shadowing her moss eyes. 'Did I keep you up last night? Were those my memories you dreamed of?'
He nodded solemnly, taking her answer as it was. He had sensed a disturbance in her sleep when they had been huddled together in the night, but didn't know details beyond that. He assumed she would say when she was ready.
"I don't exactly, no," he replied cautiously. This was sometimes a point of contention with people. "I can often pick up on ... vibes from a person's sleep, if they have extreme emotions. That is outside my control, I'm afraid. But don't worry - I would never - and could never - actually be party to a person's dreams without their consent." He smiled as he tried to reassure her, misunderstanding the reasons behind her question. "I can't spy on people!" He joked.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed sitting up straighter. Zurna moved her hand over towards Kaven's arm. "I never meant to imply that you would be. That was far from my mind actually." She smiled encouragingly at him. "I understand that the gods give us gifts to use in life. Some of us just have more unique ones than others."
She bit her lip, settling back into a more relaxed position. "I was just wondering. We both seemed to have disruptive sleep. Is it possible you picked up my...vibes? Could what I dreamed of have triggered a similiar upsetting dream for yourself? I think you said earlier this morning that they were memories." Zurna hesitated to continue, biting her tongue hard enough to draw blood. "I too was plagued by memories," she softly volunteered.
'Even now,' she thought as flashes of that day danced before her mind's eye. 'Always haunted. It never ends.' A youthful voice, an echo of the past, seemed to float across the wind, carrying words she wished she could forget. Zurna found herself unable to meet Kaven's eyes any longer. Instead she moved it to focus on her cooling food.
"I know your sleep was disturbed." He spoke more freely now that she had broached the subject. "I could sense that something was wrong, but no, without a bond between us I don't know what you were dreaming... and I'm sure you'll be glad to know that your own dreams did not impact mine. I have these dreams every night - I don't know what they are, or what they mean." He sighed and cast his eyes downwards briefly, before turning to focus on Zurna's confessions.
He reached out to touch her shoulder, rubbing it gently as he encouraged her. "What is it you dream of, Zurna? If it is not too painful to speak of, you can trust me, and perhaps I can help you."
"A living nightmare, a memory of..." her soft voice trailed off. Zurna could feel the tides of guilt and regret pulling her in. The emotional undercurrents were already starting to weigh her down, trying to drown her.
"As beautiful as my homeland is, it is just as deceptively dangerous. Death is an unavoidable aspect of life. We all know this," she shrugged. "It is up to us, whether we choose to accept it or not. Personally, I choose to accept it."
Zurna's brow furrowed as she shook her head. "I had a very different perspective of life when I was a child. I knew of death and loss but, I had never experienced it. I had never lived it," she added in a whisper.
Suddenly a perfectly clear image formed in her head. It was as if a ghost had returned from the dead and implanted itself with in her mind. The youthful face of a young boy, smiled at her. His curly brown hair and cornflower eyes served as reminders of the things she had loved about him. 'Play with me, Z!' his eyes seemed to call to her. 'I can't Ezra,' she mentally replied. 'You're dead.'
The wooden bowl fell from her numb fingers, spilling its contents and rolling across the ground. Zurna was lost in her own grief and regret. She had forgotten about Kaven, now completely entrenched within her buried memories.
Kaven hurried over as Zurna dropped her bowl, rushing to take her in his arms. "Zurna... Zurna." He called out to her, seeing her faraway expression. Turning her head in towards his chest he pulled her close, rocking them back and forth.
As he held her close he wondered what it was that had such a hold on her. It would be easy to connect with her, and drop down into that level of consciousness where he could share her visions, but he was loath to intrude on her distress. "Zurna!" he spoke more urgently this time, trying to call her from her nightmares.
Zurna was long gone from the real world. She could not feel the warmth of Kaven's body, the comfort of his arms; she could not hear his voice in her ear. She was lost, floating in a sea of her own making. Her subconscious drifted along until she came to a stop before a memory of snow and blood.
Slowly she walked through the snow, falling right into the memory. The cold air, the crunch of the snow beneath her boots, the fog, it was all so real. It was all the same. "Z!" a jubilant voice called from her right. Turning, Zurna encountered little Ezra again. "Come play with me!"
"I can't Ezra. This isn't real. This isn't real," she tried to remind herself, looking away. A child's scream had her whipping back though. Where the little boy had been standing now lay a tiny bloody corpse. "No!" her mind cried out as her feet pulled her to drop in front of the body. Tears traced down her cheeks in both her mind and the real world as she pressed her hands against the unmoving chest, trying to stop the bleeding. Looking from the mutilated face back down to her hands, she gasped. Her hands were no longerher own. Or rather they were nearly half the size of her own. 'Child's hands,' her mind supplied.
Pulling her hands away she watched in fascinated horror as the blood ran off and dripped from her hands to stain the pure white snow. 'Red snow. Blood snow. Dead snow.' Her hands shook as she stared at them.
"Murderer! Forsaker! Deserter!" Zurna looked over in shock as the vitriol spewed from the corpse's mouth. "You killed me Z! You were supposed to protect me. You were supposed to look out for me. You let me die. This is all your fault! You should have died! I would be alive if I had never met you!" The decaying corpse sat up, causing Zurna to back away in fright. It began to advance on her and she crab walked backwards as fast as she could, out onto a thin sheet of ice.
Her hands slipped and she fell hard onto her back and screamed as the cadaver climbed up onto her chest and began strangling her. "Liar! Killer! Kinslayer! Traitor!" the youthful voice cackled. "Die!" it shrieked, raising its fist and slamming it into the ice. Zurna felt a jolt of fear plunge through her as she listened to the spiderweb of cracking ice surround her. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened in a soundless scream.
((Still in AWE of that post! o.O))
As Zurna failed to respond, limp in his arms, Kaven grew more and more concerned. "Zurna!" He shook her shoulders, desperately trying to get her to awake. But nothing worked. He chewed on his lip, knowing what he was going to have to do. Zurna was in trouble, and he could never help her if he didn't take the plunge. He closed his eyes, face turned towards the heavens. Forgive me... he prayed silently, but whether to Zurna or to a god, he wasn't sure.
Taking a breath, he brought her to him again, entwining his fingers in her hair. As his palm made contact with her scalp, a glow, like that of candlelight, emitted from his fingers and grew to envelop the two. His breathing grew slower, his heartbeat slowed, and he felt himself dropping down the levels of consciousness, to where Zurna was trapped.
His eyes snapped open, although they saw none of the icy landscape around them. His mind filled with the same pictures that tormented Zurna, fast-flowing and vivid. Watching the scenes play out, he felt Zurna's terror flow into his body, churning his stomach. Calm... he warned himself, consciously making the effort to replace the fear with a more peaceful feeling, although he held back from letting the energy flow into Zurna. He couldn't work his magic on her - not here, not like this, not without her consent. Instead he continued watching mutely, horror filling his mind as he understood her subconscious for the first time.
"Die!" As the thing rushed towards them, Kaven drew back from the scene, withdrawing his mind. As he did he mentally nudged Zurna, allowing his subconscious to gently touch hers. Zurna... Zurna, wake up. Come back to me he whispered, hearing the words reverberate between their minds.
The ice cracked and gave way, plunging Zurna down into freezing water. The moment she hit the water she was shocked back out of the memory and back into the floating sea of subconsciousness. Stunned she just let it take her where it would, allowing herself to retreat further and further within herself.
As if from miles away, she heard a distant voice calling her by name. 'Wake up? But I don't want to. So tired. Sleep. Come back? Why does that sound so familiar? Who is calling me?' Zurna started to fight the current slightly, but found it to be exhausting, for every push she made forward, she was pulled back twice as fast and thrice as far.
"Give up, Z!" A voice cackled in her ear. Zurna was only able to gasp in shock before she was plunged under the current. Again she screamed but no sound escaped her lips. She felt herself fading and her vision turning black. Just as she was about to become forever lost in her own mind a startling realization hit her. 'This isn't real.' Her eyes slowly opened and she gazed up through the waters towards the corpse. For a moment the skull before her shifted to Ezra's sweet face before flickering back. "This isn't real!" her mind shouted.
A blast from this consciousness tore Zurna up through the layers of her mind and into the real world. Harshly gasping for breath, she felt the frigid tundra air slice into her windpipe. Her right hand shot up to grasp her throat and the left juncture of neck and shoulder. Wild eyes looked about her surroundings trying to judge the difference between real and imagined.
Terrified and weary, Zurna unconsciously leaned back into Kaven, seeking his warmth and his safety. Her chest rattled with each shaky breath as she closed her eyes and ran her hand along the four pearly scars crossing shoulder, collarbone and lower throat into the sternum. Her body shook with the effort to hold it together. In a self-soothing motion she began to rock herself back and forth, trying to calm herself down.
Opening her eyes, she finally noticed what she was doing and more specifically whose lap she was in. She raised wary eyes up to his face, before looking away in shame. 'He must think me insane. Or he pities me. Which is worse? Does it matter? I really am a monster.'
Kaven had watched the last scenes as though through a darkened glass, as he was less and less a part of Zurna's dreaming. He felt himself drifting away from the connection as Zurna continued falling through her memories. Fighting to stay connected, he continued to nudge at her, hoping against hope that she could feel it, somewhere.
As she finally broke through, awakening, the connection severed and the soft glow dimmed, then faded away entirely. Kaven's fingers relaxed against Zurna's skin, his arms feeling heavy and useless against her. His eyes were still open, glassy and unseeing, whilst Zurna comforted herself - he was still lost in the swirling world of the subconscious, pulling together the strength to return to a normal state.
Finally, with a gasp, he awoke, involuntarily clutching Zurna's body tighter to him as he did. It had been a long time since he had been witness to another's dream, and even longer since he had seen one so intense. Sapped of a lot of his strength, he was unable to speak for several moments, shaking slightly until his mind caught back up with his body. As he did, he reached for Zurna, gently turning her face towards his, and kissed her forehead hard.
"Oh, Zurna..." he murmured, repeating the kiss.
With lowered eyes, Zurna allowed her face to be turned. She expected to be yelled at, to be hit, or spat on. She never expected his tender touch or his fierce kisses. While the first kiss shocked her, it was the second that broke her waning strength.
Zurna turned in his lap, slipping her arms under his coat and around his back to cling to him desperately. She rested her head in the hollow of his throat as tears began to race down her face. Her body continued to shake as she fought full-blown sobbing. "It's never been like this before," she bemoaned. "It has always been fragments of the actual memory. I have never..." Zurna allowed herself to trail off, refusing to share her horrors.
'He doesn't need to know what I see or what I just felt. It is better to not give him any more reason to hate me. I should let go.' Despite her mind telling her to, Zurna could not make her body obey. For better or worse, she was staying in Kaven's lap for now. 'Why do I feel so safe here, in a stranger's arms no less. I have known him less than a day and look at me. I'm all over him. What kind of girl am I?'
"I'm sorry Kaven," she apologized, beginning to loosen her grip. "I should probably get off your lap now.I wouldn't want to be inappropriate. I'm sure I have scared you enough in the past day and a half as it is." Moving slowly, Zurna began to prepare herself to stand. 'Why do I have a strong inkling that this going to be very painful?'
Fully awake now, Kaven held Zurna tightly as she cried, rocking her back and forth. "Shhh...." he soothed, stroking her hair rhythmically and waiting for her to calm down. He didn't speak, instead allowing her to work out her sorrow.
Inside, he was conflicted. Zurna obviously didn't want to share what she had seen. She doesn't know that I was there too, seeing it with her he mused. Should I tell her? He was certain that talking through her memories would help Zurna, even if she didn't want him to intervene - but how could he encourage her to speak up?
As she began to move he looked up. Catching hold of her wrists, he held them gently, pulling her back towards him. "Don't worry, Zurna. You are never inappropriate, and you have never scared me." He held out his arms, motioning her to return to him, and took the plunge.
"Talk to me... who was he, Zurna?"
She looked down at her wrists caught in his gentle grip. 'Funny,' she thought being tugged back down. 'Any other man and I would have hit them as hard as I could for this. But,' her eyes locked onto his own, 'he's different.'
"He?" Her voice quivered and her eyes widened in fear. "He who?" Zurna's body tensed; her hands clenched forming white knuckles and her shoulders went up to her ears as she hunched in on herself. She continued to look up at him but, more like a wild animal caught in a trap than as a human.
'How does he know? What happened while I was dreaming? Oh Manaia! What did I say? What did I do?' A sound of bells jingling slightly reverberated through her head follow by soft laughter. 'Get out of my head Ezra!' The laughter continued.
((Sorry it's taken me a long time to reply! I went for a walk in the snow))
Eyes pained, Kaven instantly regretted asking the question as Zurna tensed up. He released her wrists after a few moments and reached up to cradle her face in his hands - ever so gently.
"I saw, Zurna," he said softly. "I saw him." He stroked her cheek with one thumb as he continued speaking. "Please tell me, maybe I can help. You are always safe with me."
(OOC: So jealous of your snow -.-)
"You saw?" she asked in a fearful whisper. Her heart beat fast against her breast and her breaths were quick and short. Zurna shuttered her eyes as if by closing them she could close the door on ever being asked the question.
"Ezra," she said defeated. "His name was Ezra." She sighed, bringing her gaze back up to Kaven's. "He's been dead for nearly ten years." Zurna's eyes prickled but, no tears would fall. Her eyes were dry from the first years of crying. There were no more tears left to shed.
She rushed him, leaning in and hugging him tightly. 'Why do I trust him so much? I have never spoken of that day. Yet, he. Of all the people I know and love, it is a stranger I trust enough to share the truth.' She shudder slightly, clinging closer. "Your fault," the memory's poison words whispered through her mind.
He nodded solemnly, arms wrapping tightly around her as she leaned in. He stayed quiet for a few minutes, giving Zurna time to collect herself and recover from her first admission. He was wary of pressing her - scared of pushing her too far and causing more damage. Step lightly, Kaven he reminded himself. This one is delicate, you stand the risk of hurting her more... and she is too special for you to ever forgive yourself if you do that. He started slightly at this last thought, one that had slipped into his mind subconsciously. Special? Well yes... she was. He smiled to himself and tightened his hold on Zurna, pulling her closer in to his warmth.
"He was your friend." That was more of a statement than a question, inferred from what he had seen. "Were you... with him when he died?" he asked cautiously, softly, unobtrusively.
She hesitated before nodding. "I was a child," she said by way of admission. An memory of broken eggshells flooded her mind in a short burst. "We were young and I was foolish. I got him killed."
'I thought I was over this. Why does it feel like I am tearing the wound anew? I shouldn't talk about this. He wouldn't understand.' Zurna fell silent letting her thoughts swirl about her head. "He knows. He was there. He saw," the voice taunted.
"He wouldn't," her mind hissed back.
The cruel laughter rang out again. "Then how else does he know? How else can he not know if he did not invade your mind? If he did not violate your own sanctuary, how else does he know I am your friend? How Z? He calls himself a dreamweaver, he is nothing but a fraud! He used you! He tried to kill you!"
"You're wrong," she mumbled, squeezing her eyes shut. "I'm right and you know it. I'm only trying to protect you, Z. Don't you see what he is doing? He's trying to turn you into his little pet, his personal experiment. Don't let him, Z. Don't let him hurt you, kill you. Please? I'm your friend. I love you. I will always be with you." The voice continued to draw her in with its lies. Slowly but surely, Zurna was being dragged into believing the falsehoods. 'He does seem very interested in me. Who gets this friendly with a woman they have known less than a day?'
Kaven felt sick to his stomach, feeling the negative energy radiating from Zurna. He didn't know what was happening inside her head, but he was getting the effects all the same. He shook his head, trying to clear the fuzzy sickness, and leaned back from Zurna to look her in the eye.
"Zurna... what is happening?" He asked softly. "What is it that torments you so? Will you let me try to excise your demons?" He wasn't even sure if she could hear, but he meant every word, wanting more and more to help Zurna.
"You don't need to suffer like this."
"The only demon here is you," she hissed. Zurna gave Kaven a hard shove and jumped to her feet. Backing away she moved, placing the dwindling fire between them. "You said you never enter a mind without a permission. You entered mine didn't you? Didn't you! Don't try and deny it. How else could you know about Ezra?"
Zurna was lashing out, afraid and unsure she did not know how else to protect herself. "You are vile. You are disgusting. Stay away from me! This is your fault. I was fine before I met you. You did this to me. You caused the past to resurface and haunt me. Just stay away from me!" Her face displayed betrayal and her heart sank the more she spoke.
Kaven fell back as he was shoved, landing hard on the ice. Scrambling to his feet he began to make a start towards Zurna, stopping as as she snapped at him. His face fell, eyes full of hurt as he gazed at her, her angry face almost unrecognisable to him.
"I..." he trailed off, biting back the rebuttal that first came to his mind. He sighed heavily, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes. "You're right," he conceded heavily, shoulders slumping. How could he have been so foolish? Led by a false sense of pride into betraying his own morals. Why did he think he could help her? She hadn't cared for him. He had been misled by her natural friendliness into thinking there was something there - even the ease with which he had connected with her had encouraged his delusion.
"I have. I have ruined everything for you, Zurna. Please, accept my apologies." Heart heavy, he turned away from her and slowly began to walk off, gazing straight ahead. He didn't let himself turn around, or look back, afraid of what he might see.
Zurna was shocked. Disturbed by her own reaction and then Kaven's apologies. 'What have I done? How could I be so cruel?' While guilt set in, she refused to show it outwardly. 'This is his fault. He made the dreams appear!' she argued irrationally.
She let her angry gaze fall and kicked snow onto the fire, putting it out. "We should head back. I have wasted enough time fooling around," she muttered, picking up the bowls and cleaning them out with snow. Zurna was too upset to really pay attention to Kaven as she headed back to where they had left the peat moss.
Anger drove her onwards even as her heart bled for her choices. If she was harsh in the way she jerkily snatched up the bundles, she did not care. Carrying as much as she could, she marched her way back home. Yet, every step she took forward was like a heavy stone around her neck, weighing her down and crushing her spirit.
By the time she actually made it home she was a mess. Zurna was not known for her silence, however she ignored everyone even the twins when they tried to greet her and engage her in conversation. She pushed past them, dropping off her bundles and went off to do more chores around the camp.
He had stopped in the snow, hands jammed deep in the pockets of his coat. He was surprised when Zurna spoke again, although he carefully made an effort not to show it. Why was she saying they should both head back? Can it be that she is forgiving me? he dared himself to hope for a moment, before arguing himself back down. No, of course not. She just doesn't want me to get lost out here - she's a good person. Not like me, he thought bitterly, following her at a distance. He kept his head down, staring at the snow beneath his feet. He had gathered up the remaining bundles, holding them carefully, even in his current blur of emotions.
He stopped as they reached the outskirts of the camp, not daring to follow her into the tent. A lump rose into his throat as he considered his options, torn between following her and making a break for it. I'm such a coward. Losing the battle, he ducked inside the livestock tent, placing his bundles on a mat at the entrance before rushing to Equi's side.
He sank down into the hay next to the gentle creature, who turned to nuzzle at Kaven's side as he leant into the pony's flank. "Oh, Equi, my friend... what have I done?" He moaned, face screwed up against the emotions. "I have made such a huge mistake... I only wanted to help, but how could I do such a thing to her?" he spoke bitterly, deeply angry at himself. "Now I have destroyed this friendship, and hurt a heart that was so good." A tear ran down his cheek and he brushed it away impatiently, feeling like a coward. "It is ruined, Equi. Everything is ruined," he choked out.
Tarogato entered the livestock tent quietly and leaned with crossed arms against one of the supports, listening to the newcomer's words. "I highly doubt that is the truth. Nothing in this world is final. Everything can be salvaged. You just know how to change your outlook," he piped up. His was soothing timber, rising and falling in gentle waves like the sea.
"You must be Kaven. My mother spoke highly of you this morning." He shoved off, and moved over to sit beside Kaven in the hay. "Now, what do you think you have done that "ruins everything"? Z sure came back in a right sorry state. Mother's giving her the telling off of her life right now, which gives me the perfect opportunity to interrogate Z's new love interest," he teased. Tarogato gave Kaven a gentle elbow to the ribs before laying back in the sweet-smelling hay.
Kaven jumped as Tarogato spoke behind him, having not realised that someone else was there. He stayed quiet as the newcomer talked, finding solace in the comforting voice and friendly words. Turning away from Equi to face Tarogato, he smiled wryly, and sighed.
"Love interest? I don't think so!" He said jokingly, before becoming more serious. "Zurna is justifiably furious with me - I have commited a grave mistake." He paused, unsure of how much Tarogato would know, or understand. "Zurna was trapped in a daze of some sort - she was suffering and dreaming of something dreadful. I-" he took a breath. "I used my talent to connect with her consciousness and see what she saw. I only meant to help, but I should never have invaded her privacy like that. She was so angry."
He broke off, agonising over his mistake.
Tarogato snorted. "Z is like the sea from which she was birthed. You never know what will upset her, or what she is thinking." He sat up, looking at Kaven solemnly. "Dreaming?" He sighed, shaking his head slightly. "She still has the nightmares, after all this time."
He turned to look Kaven in the eye. Of all the siblings, Tarogato was the voice of reason, the encourager, the friend. He had always been the one the others went to for advice and comfort. "Listen to me. You tried to help. You had good intentions at heart. That is all that matters. If you didn't hurt her and you didn't damage her then she will get over it. Z isn't like most people you meet," he said sighing again.
A soft smile graced his features as he stared ahead of him. "Zurna was a gift from the gods to my family. She was not born of my mother's womb as the rest of us were. She does not always see things the way everyone else does. If anything, I think she is more angry at herself than at you. If what you say is true, and she was dreaming, then it means she still has not let go a very painful memory. Z has trouble getting close to people.
"She's very friendly, don't get me wrong," he started, holding out his hand and looking over to the other human. "But, she lost someone very dear to her when she was just a child. She doesn't trust easily with her heart anymore." Tarogato placed his own hand over his heart for emphasis. "She is afraid. No matter how old she is on the outside, she is still a little girl here," he said thumping his fist against his chest. "The best thing you can do for her, is show her you care. Don't let her scare you off. She's just afraid, and not of you, but of herself."
Smiling he clapped the other man on the shoulder. "I know that is a large burden to bare, but I like to think she's worth it." Tarogato's eyes seemed shine with an inner-knowingness. It was as if he could see the future and knew something he was not telling.
Kaven felt himself relaxing as Tarogato spoke, calming down from his distress. He appreciated this advice from an older man, one who knew Zurna, and who seemed to care about them both. Maybe this situation wasn't such a catastrophe as he had thought? Maybe - just maybe - he would have a chance at rectifying his mistakes and finding himself forgiven.
He found himself returning Tarogato's smile, although lost in this thoughts, he didn't notice the odd look in the other man's eyes. Perhaps... if I can only apologise... and make her see how sorry I truly am - perhaps she may forgive me, and I can leave here with some semblance of pride, at least. His mind was running on overdrive, as he tried to think of how to proceed.
He looked to Tarogato, hope shining in his eyes. "Perhaps... perhaps I should find her?" he ventured shyly, uncertainly.
A high-pitched screeched broke the silence causing Tarogato to wince. "Perhaps you should wait until after supper to apologize. Z sounds about ready to rip some heads off and use them as buoy markers. Let's try and give you a fair chance first," he winked. 'I like this one. Pity he still has twenty-four other approvals to go through, not including Z's. Good gods woman,' he thought, startling at the next feminine shout, 'where did you learn to yell like that?'
"Come," he said getting to his feet. "You can hide with me until she settles down. If you stay here any longer she is bound to come in." He leaned in closely cupping a hand to his mouth as he whispered. "This is one of her favorite haunts. As soon as she is free of mother she will be here in a heartbeat."
Eyes wide as he heard the shrieking, Kaven also clambered to his feet, looking around him shiftily as Tarogato spoke. "Thank you for the offer... I think I will wait until later!" He followed the man out of the tent, pausing at the door to look back to Equi. "Psst... I was never here boy, okay?" He winked at the pony, and slipped out, hurrying after Zurna's brother. Hopefully later she will have calmed down, and we can talk...
~
A few hours later, Kaven was feeling much calmer. His gut-wrenching sorrow had lessened somewhat with the passing of time, and the work which he and Tarogato had been doing had helped to take his mind off the events of the morning. As it grew closer to dinner time and the time when he would surely see Zurna again, however, his guilt began to bubble up in him, making him anxious. He began to be distracted from his conversations with Tarogato, finding himself in his own head, trying to plan out what he would say.
Finally, it was time. As he headed towards the main tent, he held his head resolutely high, trying not to show his anxiety. At the tent's flap, he paused, swallowed once, then stepped inside. Eyes adjusting to the change in light, he stopped still just inside the doorway, gazing around him.
"Hello? ... Zurna?"
Zurna had completed all her chores, gotten the reprimanding of the century, screamed her lungs out, and was feeling extremely depressed. 'He must hate me! I was so cruel to him. He was...he was just doing what he thought was best, even if he did violate my privacy,' she conceded, balancing the lies and the truth in her mind. She busied herself with the meal, another of her punishments for her sour mood.
She felt a cool draft from the doorway and turned to shoo the twins away when she realized who it was. She bowed slightly at the waist in greeting before turning back to the fire. "Dinner will be ready shortly. Sit," she motioned to the cushion, "you worked hard today." She made sure to keep her back to him. She did not want to see the look of hatred on his face. She did not want hear her heart scream again.
Stirring the food distractedly, Zurna kept quiet, contemplating what to do. She never noticed as one by one the other members of her family gathered and talked amongst themselves, the way Tarogato hovered close to Kaven and passed covert glances between the two, or even how close her hair came to being singed repeatedly.
Kaven winced at Zurna's short greeting, though his face remained impassive as he returned her bow. She is still angry... not surprising. She clearly doesn't want to talk to me. He worried the situation over in his mind as the tent began to fill. He had just about decided to meekly follow Zurna's instructions when Tarogato came in. Regaining his strength from the memory of the afternoon spent with the brother, and from the supportive glances that he now sent, Kaven stood upright and braced himself.
Softly, unnoticed by the other family members, he made his way over to the cooking pot, clearing his throat quietly as he got near. "Zurna..." he made a deep bow again, remaining down for several seconds. "Please don't send me away, listen to what I have to say." He hurried on, in case she interrupted him, and the words came spilling out.
"I made a huge mistake today, Zurna. Perhaps the biggest mistake I have ever made, in my life. I invaded your privacy, and it was deeply wrong of me," although the words were calm, the passion behind them was evident in his voice. "I can never forgive myself for betraying you so. But please, accept my apologies. I disrespected you and deserve nothing less than your loathing, I know that."
He inclined his head. "I have brought shame on myself. I will leave here tonight and travel back to my home village."
He looked up towards her, eyes shining. "But before I do, please believe how sorry I am. Please accept my apology, even if you cannot forgive me."
She did not turn around, but listened quietly as he spoke. "No," she finally spoke forefully. "No," she began again softer, "you were doing what you thought best. Never apologize for trying to help, not to me, not to anyone. Don't leave Kaven." Zurna took a step forward, closing the distance between them so they stood toe to toe.
"Don't let me drive you away." Tears filled her eyes and one hand came up to cup his cheek. "I let my temper get the better of me and I lashed out at the one who tried to help me. It is I who has brought shame to her name. I cannot forgive you Kaven. I refuse to forgive you when it is I who must beg forgiveness. I was cruel. I let fear and anger drive me to hurt you. I am so sorry," she apologized as a single tear crawled down her pale cheek.
"You are always welcome in my family's home. Please do not let my poor actions send you away." Without thinking, Zurna stood on tip-toe and quickly kissed Kaven's cheek before fleeing the tent to get gather the twins.
After she left Tarogato came over and slapped Kaven on the back. "Well done boyo! I told you she liked you," he laughed. "Welcome to the family!" Some of the other brothers who had been watching covertly began hooting and hollering, clapping their hands and making a great ruckus of noise.
Zurna's speeches happened so suddenly that he barely had time to react. A flush began to cover Kaven's cheek as she kissed him, but he was too late as he reached out to her. He blinked, and she was gone, the tent door flapping behind her.
Next thing he knew he was engulfed in her brothers, his blush deepening still further as they made a fuss of him. "I ... well." In spite of himself, he grinned. "Maybe you were right." He touched the spot where she had kissed him, tenderly. He looked around him, feeling a rush of acceptance in this huge group of brothers, and smiled, truly happily for the first time in hours.
"Will she be coming back? Should I follow her?" He was uncertain, wary of making another wrong step so soon.
"No!" one of the brothers cried out jumping to his feet. "Boy didn't your father teach you anything? You don't go running after a woman."
A second and third also rose to their feet. "Yeah," the second continued.
"You make the woman come to you," the third proudly finished.
"My brothers Vielle, Washint, and Xalam," Tarogato introduced the identical men. "Triplets if you couldn't tell. Don't worry about Z. She just went to get the girls. And you three," he said rounding on the scheming brothers. "Quit scaring the guest. I won't have any of your antics tonight. Zurna has already had enough stress today without you dunderheads adding to it."
"Stress?" Washint asked. "What stress could she possibly have other than knowing which kiss to cheek," he belted out laughing, his closest brothers joining.
"She dreamed," Tarogato replied solemnly. Instantly, the entire tent fell silent.
"How do you know?" Xalam asked.
"That's not possible! She said those stopped," Ville angrily rejoined.
"Apparently she lied. Just let her be. You know how she gets," Tarogato calmly warned.
Kaven looked from one brother to another, overwhelmed but smiling as they finished each others' sentences. He was relaxing, ready to accept Zurna's words and stay with this family - at least for a while longer, and he was looking forward to Zurna's return. He began looking ahead to her coming back, thinking about what he would say to her, when he became aware that the tent had fallen into a hush.
Uh-oh. They didn't know about her dreams? He felt awkward, realising he had 'outed' Zurna. He hadn't realised it was a secret that she kept that from everyone, and he shifted from foot to foot as her brothers discussed it. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise that this was a secret," he muttered to Tarogato, relieved that he seemed to be calming the group.
Not wanting to intrude on this family matter, he stepped aside, waiting for Zurna to return.
((This is my longest thread yet! ^^ It's been such a dramatic day for our poor guys, but I'm afraid I'm off! Night <3))
"Oh don't worry dearie," Minali spoke up. "We have long suspected it. We just hoped Zurna could have come to us herself about them."
"She always was a stubborn child," Washint piped up, his other brothers all nodding in agreement. Tarogato opened his mouth to say more when he was cut off by Zurna and the twin nieces entering once more.
Zurna looked about at the guilty faces and lack of conversation. "What did you do?" she growled, advancing on the triplets. "Go on, spit it out," she barked, jabbing them each in the ribs. The three look at each other but remained silent. "Don't think for a second I believe that innocent act. You three can't be trusted alone with any boy I bring home," she jested.
Realizing what she said, Zurna clapped her hands over her mouth, her face turning beet-red. 'Manaia, how can I be so stupid?' Embarrassed, she never saw how the triplets moved to speak but were silenced by their elder brother's sharp glare.
Kaven ignored the goings-on of the brothers, crossing the tent to Zurna. He fought to hide a smile at her slip, and reached for her hands.
"So Zurna Nali - am I forgiven?" His eyes searched hers, trying to read her expression. "I want to stay here - with you - not leave Hyoite." He spoke frankly, keeping his eyes on Zurna's resolutely, hard as it was. "But if you wish it, I shall leave you in peace, although it shall cut me to the quick."
"So what am I to do, my princess?" he bit his lip, waiting for an answer.
Zurna did not think it was possible to turn any redder than she already was, but the moment Kaven took her hands in his own, she flushed a whole new shade of vermillion. "Of course you are forgiven. I said you are always welcome in my ho-wait did you just call me princess?" she asked raising an eyebrow at him. From behind them her brothers began to snicker.
"Uh-oh boyo," one called, "you should have called her queen."
"All hail the ice queen!" the three cried out, bowing and groveling in front of their younger sister.
Her temporary embarrassment was quickly forgotten as she tore herself away from Kaven to thump her brothers each across the head. "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you!" The four landed in a tangled mess as they mock-wrestled. Zurna's triumphant laughter could be heard as she pinned them into submission. Tarogato shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Z! Come on, some of us are dying of hunger here. Are you going to dish some grub or what?" he called out.
"I'm coming," she replied back. Standing, she gave her brothers one more playful punch before returning to her duties of serving the food. Occasionally she would glance over at Kaven from the corner of her eye when she thought no one was looking. 'My princess?'
Eyes wide, Kaven blushed a deep shade of red as the room seemed to erupt. It hadn't occured to him that they would be overheard - or that his unthinking use of the term of endearment would inspire such hilarity. As Zurna turned away from him, he used the opportunity to shrink back into the shadows, placing himself on the edge of the tent where he was less the centre of attention.
Well done, genius, he berated himself. Just as you manage to start fixing things, you go and say something stupid like that. Now she will be embarassed and probably annoyed all over again! Not that I could blame her. What a stupid thing to say
He continued this internal monologue all whilst the tent was calming down, and whilst Zurna dished out the food, not even noticing her glances towards him. He positioned himself at the end of the queue for food, hoping that no one would overhear when she came over with his dish.
"I'm sorry if I embarassed you," he muttered to her. "I meant it only as a term of endearment - I would never mock you. Nor would I intend give others a reason to."
Zurna nearly had to bite her tongue in half to hold in the laughter and caustic reply dancing on her lips. "I am not embarrassed. I warned you about my brothers, did I not? If you think this is bad, you have no idea how it has gotten with them in the past. I'm surprised they are only starting up with you now." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "They're my brothers. This is what we do. They tease me, I beat them up," Zurna jested, giving a playful wink.
She kept to herself that the peace probably would not last long, that he probably would never hear the end of it. 'Endearment, he says. What does he mean? If it was not mocking, is it friendship? Is it more? Foolish Z! Of course, it's not more. You've known him less than a day. People don't just fall in love like that. Do they?'
Stealing glances over her bowl, Zurna found herself wondering the validity of her own thoughts. She smiled inwardly, 'my princess.' All around her, her family joked and talked, eating and laughing. It was a scene she had known all her life. Yet, it seemed so out of place and yet so right to be sharing this with someone else. Her family was known for welcoming strangers. But, Zurna had never really felt this same connection with them as she did with Kaven. "So what do you think of your first working day on the tundra?"
"Well, I'm glad," Kaven smiled back as Zurna answered, pleased that he seemed to have overreacted. Such family interactions were totally alien to him - having grown up with only a sister, he had never felt either the brotherly comaraderie or inter-sibling fighting that went on so naturally in this tent. He grinned to himself at the thought of Zurna beating them all up - she said it so casually that he could quite easily picture it as a regular occurence. "If I tease you, will you beat me up?" he asked casually, winking at her.
He took a few more bites of his food as he considered her last question. It had certainly been an experience - but what did he think of it? Hard work, a traumatic dream, a big fight and an emotional reconciliation - it was hard to categorize.
"I enjoyed it," he shrugged, answering honestly. "It has been a learning curve... in many ways." He paused. "Of course it helps that my teacher is so charming... and quite pretty too." He winked again, lighthearted.
She started coughing and chocking on her food from the surprise. Pounding at her chest, she finally started laughing. "Beat you up? Nah, you're small fry. I'll let my brothers toughen you up first." Zurna gave him a nudge to the ribs and winked again.
'Pretty? Okay that might be beyond the friendship theory. Unless, maybe he is mocking me. It didn't sound like mocking though. Maybe this is how friends act. I've only had my family as my companions. Perhaps I'm just over-reacting and he just being friendly. Oh, how I wish I knew!'
"Watch it buddy. Comments like that might just get you knocked on your rear," she mock-glared. 'Oh, but what a lovely rear it is.' Her eyes widened slightly at the thought. 'Now where did that come from?' She cleared her throat, pushing the thought away. "Well, perhaps tomorrow your teacher can be a little less mental and a lot more helpful." It was the closest Zurna was coming to admitting just how serious her situation had been. She hoped Kaven would understand and prayed her family did not find out somehow.
He grinned. "Well that sounds like an invitation to me. Maybe I should make more of those comments." He shocked himself by shamelessly flirting, a little impressed at himself. It's so nice to feel comfortable around her like this. She's so.... so... He paused and frowned to himself. She was 'so...' what? I'm getting ahead of myself here. She doesn't even like me, except perhaps as a friendly stranger. Although... she doesn't seem too annoyed by what I said. Maybe I should just go for it. And stop overanalysing everything.
Pulling out of his reverie, he looked across at her, nodding quietly at her last comment. "Well, however she is, I'll just be pleased to still be here with her."
Zurna rolled her eyes good-naturally. "What am I, a bread roll? Because you certainly are buttering me up like one. You know, I'm sure if you asked my brothers they would knock you about if you wanted. Asking is reason enough for them."
'He wants to make more of those comments? Does he have a death wish? Or does he just like getting beat u-wait. He's mocking me! He doesn't think I can hold my own against him! I see how it is. Just you wait, Kaven! First chance I get I'm going to put you in your place.' She smirked over at him, pursing her lips.
"I'll bet you won't be saying that come tomorrow. I mean you can work with my brothers if you want. I'm sure Aroga, won't mind if you help out around camp," she told him, gesturing to her elder brother. Hearing his name, Tarogato raised his head and nodded in acknowledgement before rejoining his previous conversation. "I wouldn't want the kind of work I do to be too," she flicked the tip of her tongue out, wetting her lips, "hard on you. Gods forbid I wear you out."
He laughed as Zurna teased him back, smiling idly as he watched her talk. She's so pretty... I bet she could beat me up, though.
"Oh, I think I can cope," he smirked. "I might be new to the work, but I'm sure I can hold my own against you." He rose to her challenge, keen to show that he could keep up with this tundra work. "So what do you have in mind for me, then?"
"I'll believe it when I see it. As for the work," she closed her eyes slowly letting the words flow from her tongue like honey. "Well it requires patience, strength, precision, confidence, stealth and uh," she looked him up and down, "a bit of strong stomach. Still think you can handle it? I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't."
'No but I would tease you to no end for it,' her mind interjected. "There are plenty of other tasks my family needs help with around here. I have always done my work alone. While I would not mind the company, the solitude is just as nice."
Zurna let her head fall into her hand as she watched him. 'Why am I doing this? Why do I feel the need to not only show off, but also make him prove himself? If he means nothing to me then surely there is nothing to prove. What is wrong with me?'
Kaven tilted his head at Zurna's last statement, confused. She sounds as if she actually doesn't want me there... have I gone too far? He bit his lip as he tried to work out what she meant, fiddling with the bowl on his lap.
"Well, I'm sure I can handle anything you can throw at me - and if I can't, then I'll still try," he said proudly, sure that the work itself couldn't put him off.
"But, er, if you would prefer to work alone, then I will not bother you." He felt a tinge of self-doubt nagging at him, unsure how to proceed. "Don't be afraid to be blunt with me, if that is the case."
Zurna rose slowly from her seated position, her eyes never leaving Kaven's as she stalked closer to him. Silently she dropped into a crouch before him. Their faces were but a breath apart. She could feel the soft puffs of warm air dancing on her nose and lashes. Her eyes glanced briefly from his eyes to his lips before retreating back up.
Slowly she began to lean her upper body towards. Changing direction at the last minute, she leaned so that her chin hovered over his left shoulder while hers pressed lightly into his sternum. Reaching past him she latched onto a fur skin and dragged it over his leg as she brought it over to herself. "I'm cold," she whispered as if it were a secret.
"I would be honored with your company tomorrow," she spoke louder, pulling away. "The job we will be doing is messy. Some of my own brothers cannot handle it. I just want to make sure you're alright with that. I don't want you feeling," she paused for a second before smirking slightly, "uncomfortable. Believe me, if I don't want you around, you'll know. I'm not shy."
Kaven was very aware of his breathing as she came closer, his eyes fixed on hers. All the former bravado of his flirting was gone, as he swallowed, mouth suddenly feeling very dry. Why is she so close? This can't be an accident. Her face is so... near to mine. He swallowed again, following the track of her eyes. What's she doing? It's almost as if she wants to kiss me... wait. Does she want to kiss me?
He let out a small involuntary noise as she pressed against him, frustrated by the effort of keeping still and the apparently sudden change in her intention. He took a couple of deep breaths, relaxing as she pulled away. Blimey.
He smiled at her - a small, forced smile as his throat was still dry - but he made the effort nonetheless. "Then I would be glad to accompany you." He spoke softly, his sense of self returning. "I have a strong stomach."
Snuggling into the fur, Zurna shared a soft smile with Kaven. "Then it is settled; we shall go together. Perhaps if you want we could take your pony with us. If it's not too cold I'm sure he would enjoy the moving about. No one looks being coped up. With winter fast approaching on the heels of autumn I always try to stay outside as much as possible."
Zurna listened to the sounds of her family and the fire. The constant sound was beginning to lull her to sleep. She felt her eyes droop and blink slower and longer than normal. Her lips twitched in a faint smile. "Forgive me, Kaven. I am more tired than I realized," she apologized with closed eyes. "Tell me another story of your home. I shall be more awake for that." Zurna looked at him through slit lids and and a glazing look. It was doubtful she would remain conscious through any story he told, no matter how short.
"That would be nice... I'm sure he would enjoy a journey out," Kaven smiled and nodded, thinking of the little pony. "You're right, it isn't good for anyone to be caged inside."
"A story, huh?" He thought for a moment, arranging the fur closer around Zurna. "Well, I'll tell you about my first girlfriend." He grinned to himself, aware that the topic did not sound, at first hearing, like the sort of story one should tell to a woman they cared for. "Her name was Ellen. She was beautiful - all blonde curls and bright blue eyes. She held my hand and shared her sweets with me, and I picked daisies for her out of the fields." He paused, wrapping his arm around Zurna's shoulders.
"We were four." He smiled and pulled Zurna closer. "Then one day, she decided that she would rather hang out with her family's new dog than me. And that was it! I was heartbroken."
He laughed to himself as he shared the story, remembering those childhood days of innocence.
Zurna half-listened to Kaven's story. His soothing voice echoed within her mind, creating waves of peace that lulled her further into sleep. She was so tired that she never really noticed how he held her close. "Mmm, can't say I'd blame 'er," she slurred at the story's end. "Dogs are awful fun."
Snuggling back into his warm embrace, Zurna pulled the blanket up around her. Short quick breaths evened out into longer, slower ones. Drifting off into the world of dreams, she unconsciously rolled onto her side so that her head and hand rested on Kaven's chest. Zurna gave one last sigh of contentment and smiled. She went to sleep happy, her last thoughts of Kaven.
Kaven smiled down at Zurna, chuckling at her comment. As she drifted off he pulled the furs closer around her, arranging himself to support her sleeping form. "Goodnight, Zurna," he murmured, leaning back against a post as his own eyes dropped closed.
*
The night had passed uneventfully - for the most part. Kaven's dreams had been full of roaring, rushing uncertainty - wind drowning out all sounds except those anguished cries that he could not locate the source of. He had spent the night traipsing in circles in the snow, getting lost on an unfamiliar mountainside. Occasionally he fell, body tumbling for hours through the darkness, until he landed in an identical landscape. And through it all, that helpless, desperate screaming haunted him.
He had slept fitfully as a result, head tossing back and forth, incoherent mumblings coming from his mouth as he dreamt. "I can't see you... where are you?" was his oft-repeated refrain, slurred more and more anxiously through the night.
"Ohhhh." He woke himself up then, drifting to consciousness as he realised it was he that was moaning. Eyes flickering open, he gazed around the silent tent. Apart from the flickering fire, it was still dark, dawn still being a while away.
Yet another dreamless night. Zurna could not say which was worse, the nights she did not dream, or the nights she did. She never truly felt rested anymore. Morning's warm fingertips sank through the tent furs and warmed her skin.
When she tried to sit up, she was somewhat pleased to kind herself still firmly ensconced in Kaven's arms. 'Well this is new.' Deciding not to fight it and give him a few more minutes of sleep, she allowed herself to sit back and watch the fire slowly dance about.
Unbidden, her thoughts turned to the previous day. 'Why Ezra? Ten years. Why haunt me now? Are you jealous?' She glanced back at Kaven. 'He saved me from you. Is that it? I don't understand him. What does he want? One moment he teases the next he holds me close. Do I dare trust him? What's not to trust? He went unwanted into my mind, he violat-he saved you despite the repercussions. He could have left you to suffer and go insane. Wouldn't that have been a fit punishment?'
Zurna's mind fell still, interrupted by her living pillow's distressed mutterings. She froze, unsure whether to wake him or not. She resolved to remain silent and wait for him to wake himself. "Another nightmare?" she asked softly, her voice rough with sleep.
"Mm?" Kaven was still half asleep as he heard Zurna, but her voice brought him to a proper awakening. He smiled, pleased to find her still so close, and speaking so gently as he awoke. "Oh... I suppose so," he murmured, shrugging it off. "Not the worst one."
He took a chance, pulling her closer as he spoke. "It's nice to wake up with you."
She nodded her slightly in understanding. Zurna did not dare press the matter further. She understood well that some things are just better left private and alone. 'Don't get used to it,' her mind cruelly sneered. She was just glad she wasn't awake enough to actually verbalize the thought.
"We need to get going," she whispered, still not moving from her current position. "I don't want the girls waking up before we are out of here. We'll never get anything done if they tag alone." Zurna tilted her head back and up to look at him. "Too loud."
"I need to get up," she repeated as if to convince herself of the matter. Moving slowly, she disentangled herself and stood up. Long arms reached up towards the ceiling, fingertips nearly grazing the soft furs above her. She twisted one way, then the other, realigning her back after the long night sleeping curled up with Kaven.
Nodding her head quietly to him, she disappeared outside the tent. Beneath the side canopy she retrieved her bag and headed towards the animal tent to get the livestock fed and the pony ready for the long day ahead. A faint smirk lit up her face as she thought about all the fun she was going to have and all the work she was going to make her family's guest do. 'Mm, what a good day it shall be indeed.'
As Zurna left him, Kaven stood up slowly, feeling a little put out in spite of himself. Maybe I shouldn't have said that... she didn't seem to appreciate it much. She has left without saying anything. Frowning slightly, he stretched and yawned, before turning resignedly to leave the tent.
He shivered as he stepped outside into the cold, dim world of the tundra, pulling his coat further around him. He followed Zurna into the livestock tent, seeing Equi still asleep on the straw. Heedless of the other animals or Zurna, he crouched down to pet the creature.
"Hey boy... you gotta wake up," he spoke softly, patting the pony's neck as he awoke. "Gotta get up and get ready. Zurna has some mad task for us today." He chuckled and stood up, speaking into the now-standing pony's ear in a stage whisper.
"I think she's testing me, whether or not I'm good enough for her." He winked.
While she may have pretended to be ignoring Kaven in favor of her task, she was doing anything but. Out of the corner of her eye Zurna observed the way he treated and spoke to his sweet pony. The bleating of one of the does needing to be milked quickly shook her from her thoughts.
Crouching down, Zurna softly spoke to the protesting female, cooing and petting it as she went about the task. "Besa, besa shh. All is well." She never even realized the way a smile spread across her face as her thoughts returned to Kaven again. 'Mad task indeed!'
Zurna's hands busied themselves rhythmically milking the udders. 'Good enough for me. Whatever gave him that idea? What do I care of his worth? He is a man of good honor.' She paused thinking of how he had went against his word of entering an unwilling mind. 'Well, most of the time. It's not like I'm going to marry him or anything. He's only passing through. What would he want with a winter woman anyway? I'm not just going to be some passing fancy!'
She jerked her hands angrily downward causing the poor animal to bleat again and kick over the milk pail. Zurna groaned, throwing up her hands as fresh milk saturated the ground. "I'm sorry!" she yelled frustratedly at the glaring animal. In the corner of the tent the other does cowered away from her.
Zurna let her head fall into her hands, muttering curses under her breath. "Hey Kaven! Want to learn to milk a goat," she snorted, half-seriously. 'Great start number one of the day. How many more until it's over again?'
Kaven and Equi both jumped as Zurna yelled suddenly, the latter whinnying in alarm and backing away. Quickly taking in the scene before him, Kaven turned back to his pony, deciding it was better to leave Zurna a moment. "Hey... shhh, you know there's nothing to be scared of." He murmered gently, petting the suspicious creature. "Silly thing, calm down." He smiled as Equi calmed down, giving an affectionate tug on his forelock before he moved over towards Zurna.
"What happened?" he questioned her softly, staying a decent distance from her to give her space. "Is everything alright?"
He paused, then offered up a lighthearted comment. "And I can milk a cow, I'm sure I could adapt," he smiled.
"What happened? I made Miss Drama Queen mad and she kicked the pail over." Zurna shook her head, exasperated but no longer angry. "She reminds me of my sister-in-law. Both of them want things done yesterday, take their sweet time doing anything, and are quick to irritate," she giggled at a memory. "When Sonya first married my brother, I called the goat Sonya up until the twins were born. I had to stop when Aliyah started calling the goat momma."
Zurna righted the knocked over bucket and whistled for one of the goats. The does jostled each other about, refusing to approach. She made the second whistle sharper and finally one tip-toed over albeit, timidly. "Buckets are behind you, Kaven," she spoke softly, running her fingers through the doe's coarse fur. She began to hum a tuneless song, calmly all the livestock back down after her outburst.
"Kaven? What's a cow?" Zurna did not look up from her task as she worked, too embarrassed to see the look of ridicule she was sure would grace his features. Her brow furrowed as her cheeks darkened, bringing a rosy flush to her pale winter skin.
He laughed at her story, picturing Sonya's reaction. "Clever... I hope she never found out?" He grinned and petted the approaching goat curiously, not being used to these animals. He looked behind for a bucket, then copied Zurna's pose and whistled for his own goat. It took a minute for one to come to him, but he was soon milking confidently, if somewhat slowly.
"Cows?" He glanced up as Zurna asked, surprised for a moment until he thought it through. "Oh, I expect you don't have them here, there's not much grass is there?" He thought. "I suppose in a way they're a bit like goats, but... bigger. And slower. But you milk them the same, and get beef from them. And they make the strangest noise. They're not very bright," he smiled, recalling his brief stint on a farm some years before. "But the females are sweet. The males, not so much."
"Oh no, she knew. Sonya and I don't get along at all. She's a disowned noble brat from Connlaoth. Why she married my brother or why Yotar loves her to begin with, are far beyond my comprehension. She is a prissy...ugg! I can't stand her! She has no respect for the way of life we live. Why marry someone who lives in the middle of the tundra and expect to still live your perfect pampered existence."
Zurna's scowl deepened the more she thought about her brother's wife. "Big goats but slower? Like how big? Big as a horse? Big as a house? Big as a matukyuu?" Using the new topic as a distraction and a friendly middle ground, Zurna began to ask a slew of questions. "What kind of noise? Can you do it?" Her eyes lit up with every question she asked.
Her love for things found beyond her homeland was making the work go faster for her as she whistled her fourth goat over. Zurna nodded her head in understanding. "Well yes, I find that males of all species are not very sweet. They tend to only have one thing on mind. Although," she eyed the group of does milling about. "I have yet to see a friendly doe who wouldn't take the first opportunity to eat your clothes, or your tools, or give you an inopportune headbutt."
Zurna scrunched her nose up in laughter. "Sonya always seems to have a knack for attracting the goats more, mischievous behavior. But oh lord, you could hear her screams for miles. I would be out in the bogs and you would her scream bloody murder at them. One of the greatest moments ever in my short life, was seeing her standing on a stack of crates, sobbing over a goat lipping her skirts. Never will forget it, and as such never will she."
"That does sound quite dreadful," Kaven frowned sympathetically. "One should always have respect for what you're marrying into, especially if it's a very different lifestyle." He looked around him at the goats, the milking pails, the straw. "And this seems such a good way of life, I can't imagine that she not like it."
He was amused by her questions, and began sorting through them. "A bit smaller than a horse, perhaps. But they have big, big bellies, that is the bulk of their bodies. And they are very strong with it, and stubborn too." He shrugged at her next question, having no idea what a matukyuu was, and decided to skip past it. "The noise..." his eyes lit up, amused. "It's like a lowing noise, long and low. And yes, I can do it." He laughed.
"Only one thing in mind? Now that's a little unfair." He grinned over at her. "Especially since I assume you're including our own species in that! But male cows... bulls... they're mean. they have big horns and will trample you if you look at them funny. You'd like to see Sonya with one of those, I expect."
Laughing, he took a breath. "You want to hear the cow noise? Moooooooo..." and with that he let out a long, low moo, eyes fixed solemnly on Zurna as he did.
Her eyes sparkled as she realized what she had implied. "Of course I'm including my own species in that one!" she jested. "You forget, I have twenty-five older brothers. If I don't know what is running through their minds most of the time, then I must be dead and dumb. There is only one things men think about. If they're not thinking about it, they will be quick to circle back to it."
She giggled at the image of Sonya with a bull. "I'll bet Sonya knows what they are. Although I doubt you could get her within several miles of one. She hates anything that has to do with being outside. In fact, I think she just hates everything in general."
Zurna's head shot up in unison with the goats' at the strange sound coming from Kaven. While the goats all scattered about bleating at him, she just began to laugh. She laughed and laughed until she couldn't breath. "Do it again. Do it again!" she cried clapping her hands and rocking back and forth in her seated position. "Again! Again!"
"Rude," Kaven joked, taking mock-offense at Zurna's comments on men. "I'm offended that you would even thing that about us." He pouted. "I might not even do the cow-noise again."
But the sight of Zurna in fits of laughter was too much for him to resist. He grinned and took a deep breath, repeating the sound for a long as he could. As he did, Equi's head shot up with an alarmed snort, and the pony eyed Kaven suspiciously, baffled by the unnatural noise coming from him.
The moo came to a stop, and Kaven himself laughed, looking at the scattered livestock. "Well I'm glad you like it, at any rate."
The lowing sound sent Zurna into another hysterical bout of giggles. No matter how hard she tried she just could not seem to calm herself down. Every time she came close to settling, she would look up at Kaven and start laughing all over again.
"Per...haps we...should get g-g-g-gooooooing," she wheezed out between gasps of air. The cool air burned her throat, helping to settle her. Staggering a bit from the occasional chuckle that still wracked her frame, Zurna hefted the two milk pails and placed them on a stack of crates out of reach for the animals. "Is Equi ready?"
Zurna could not bring herself to look at Kaven, knowing full well she would just start laughing again. She moved about the tent quickly, filling her sack with a few last minute provisions, including some food and her longbow. Smiling towards the horse and his rider, she gave the pony a soft pat to the flank, running her hand up until she was rubbing his neck. "Good boy," she cooed. "Ready for some fun in the snow?"
He laughed along with Zurna, moving over to check up on Equi as Zurna got herself ready. Checking the pony's hooves and legs, he smiled to himself, pleased that he'd been able to make Zurna laugh so. Gods know, she seems like she could use a bit of happiness, even if it is only at me making a fool of myself he mused, grinning.
As he straightened up, he slung one arm around Equi's neck affectionately, leading him forwards towards Zurna. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed the bow. "Do we all need to be bringing weapons? Equi's a pretty bad shot with a bow, I'm warning you now," he joked, only now realising that he had no idea what they were in for.
"Ah Equi! I was counting on you," Zurna mock-pouted. Placing her hands on either side of the pony's head she gave him a gentle kiss on his nose. "No dinner for you," she whispered, winking. "I'm a fair shot. I don't think you have reason to worry, Kaven."
"Fair?" Zurna jumped at the voice echoing from the tent entrance. "I would hardly call the best shot this side of the tundra a fair shot. Don't be fooled boy," the tall stranger said, "she's far more than she appears to be."
The young woman glared at the other figure. He only laughed, moving over to embrace her. Long dark locks fell forward to tickle her neck as green eyes crinkled with joy. "Uilleann!" she squealed, trying to wiggle free. "Let me go!" The so named Uilleann winked at Kaven and began tickling the smaller woman.
"No!" she screamed, fighting harder. "Kaven, help!" Zurna reached forward for her family's guest when the taller man, picked her off her feet, effectively stopping her from escaping. "You better run along Z. The little monsters are almost on the move again." He dropped her down again, brushing a kiss against her cheek. "Aw, you even did the milking I see. Such a sweetheart you are Z. Thank you!"
"You're welcome you big oaf. We'll see you tonight." Zurna stood up on her tip-toes and in turn gave him a kiss to the cheek before heading towards the exit. "Come on Kaven! Day's a wasting," she jested, playfully knocking shoulders with him on her way past him.
This was new. Who on earth was this stranger, who was so at ease with Zurna? Kaven frowned slightly as he watched their interaction, his arm tightening around Equi's shoulder. They seemed close, the man even tickling and kissing Zurna as if it was all in a days' work. What does he think he's doing?!
The jealous thought coursed through Kaven before he even had time to recognise it. Surprised at himself, his expression soured further, and he managed just a 'hmph' in response to Zurna. In that mood, even her playful knock seemed dismissive to him, leaving him feeling injured and cross. "C'mon, boy," he muttured to the pony, starting to follow her out of the tent. Sharing in Kaven's feelings, the small pony humphed in turn, pulling stubbornly as they set off.
The trio walked through the snow in silence for a long while. At first Zurna thought it might have been not wanting to wake her family. Then she believed that Kaven might not be a morning person like her and was still just waking up. But, after nearly two hours of awkward silence, Zurna was no longer willing to provide anymore excuses for his behavior.
Crouching low to observe a set of tracks, she allowed her hands to sink into the snow. As they came up, Zurna kept her elbows close to her body, allowing her hands to mold the snow into a compact ball. She twirled around quickly to face Kaven. "Think fast!" she yelled, letting the ball fly with perfect aim.
Zurna openly ducked down to pick up more snow. "Smile Kaven. You look like your face will freeze like that any second now. You wouldn't want to look like forever would you?" She straightened up, brow raised mischievously. "Mother always said, there is no unfreezing a stuck face in tundra." The new snowball was casually thrown up and down as she weighed it in her hand. "Perhaps I should help you with that?" She let her arm come back again, prepared to fire.
Kaven had trudged along in silence, tormenting himself with his thoughts. He hadn't even noticed Zurna kneeling down to the snow, or her hands forming the missile. He staggered back as it hit, shocked. He looked from his coat, splattered with snow, and back to Zurna, several times, mouth open in shock. "I..."
Her playful mood tugged at him, and he felt the urge to respond in kind, to join in with her game. but then the memory of her visitor came back to mind, and his face fell. He turned away, fiddling with Equi's mane. "I don't know."
"What don't you know?" Zurna lowered her hand and tilted her head to the side. Moving closer to him she looked him over in concern. "Are you alright? Do you want to go back? You don't have to trudge along with me. I can understand how this life is a bit difficult and weary on travelers."
'Perhaps I was too hard on him. He really is working so hard to help us. I shouldn't have been so pushy last night. He did all that traveling, had a rough night of sleep, dealt with all my troubles, and then had another restless sleep. He must be so tired and worn out. I am so selfish, desiring to show him up, wishing to be his only company. What kind of friend does that? What kind of host does that? I have been so cruel to him'
Moving closer still, the snowball now long forgotten, Zurna hesitated on what to do next. She did not know whether to give him space or to hug him tightly. 'He looks so forlorn. This is all my fault. I wish I knew what I did wrong. He was so happy before.' Making up her mind, she moved her arms up and and around him. Her forhead rested against his shoulder and her arms crossed firmly around his back. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Zurna found herself secretly enjoying this new closeness. 'Stop it Z! You are supposed to be comforting him and finding out what is wrong, not getting all giddy over hugging him. He isn't interested in you like that! You treat him like dung. You're lucky he has stuck around at all!'
Kaven closed his eyes as Zurna came close, automatically returning her embrace. He took a moment to enjoy the closeness, dropping his forehead down to rest against hers. It was only as he went to answer her questions that he paused, remembering what was wrong with him, and he pulled back.
I shouldn't be standing here like this. She shouldn't be holding me like this... what about that other man? He stepped backwards, eyes wavering as he tried to keep eye contact with Zurna. I have to know...
And he hated himself for having to ask, for feeling jealous, but he couldn't resist.
"Who was that man, before?"
Zurna allowed him to pull away, feeling rejected. "Man? Oh you mean Uilleann?" She crinkled her brow trying to understand where Kaven was going with the conversation. "Why do you want to know about Uilleann? Did he offend you in some way. I am very sorry if that's true. I can assure you whatever it was he meant no offense!"
She wracked her brain, desperately searching for any moment in their short encounter with her elder brother where Kaven could take offense. 'It all happened so quickly. I can't remember!' Zurna wanted nothing more to embrace the other man again, to hold him close and ease away his troubles. 'What have I done now?'
"Uilleann?" he repeated the name slowly, confused by Zurna's reaction. She seemed to have no idea why he'd be affected - but why could she not, when she had acted so openly affectionate with another man, right in front of him. His jealousy pushed all memory of her brothers out of his mind, only allowing him to see the stranger as a rival.
"You seemed very... close." He bit his lip, thinking how stupid the words must sound to her. He shrugged suddenly, his face closing up. "You know, it doesn't matter. I just thought... I... I didn't realise you had a man in your life already," he finished lamely, floundering.
"Of course we're close!" she laughed. "It would be a bit odd if we weren't. What man in my life? I don't have a man in my li...oh. Oh!" Zurna burst out into a fit of giggles. Her hand rested against Kaven's chest as she tried to stabilize herself against the ripples of sound shacking her thin frame.
"You thought....you thought he was my lover!" Her other hand came up to further stabilize her and her head leaned in to rest on his shoulder. In her amusement, Zurna brought her arms up around Kaven's neck, bringing them closer together. "I love you, Kaven!" She rocked back and forth slightly holding in tight. "Ullieann is my brother!"
Kaven had formed an expression of great offense, upset that Zurna would laugh so much at his dismay. He watched her, disapproving and confused, as she laughed - and then had the audacity so lean against him so. Surely this was not proper!
He was about to move away, thoroughly hurt, when he found himself encircled by Zurna's arms. "I... you, what?" He set his hands on her waist, gazing at her, before his expression cleared. "He is? Your brother?!"
His stomach dropped as he realised what had happened and he moaned gently, pulling Zurna against him. "Oh I'm glad! But I feel like a prize idiot," he admitted.
"Yes you dolt," she laughed, the corners of her eyes crinkling with mirth. "He's my brother. You're so silly!" Zurna pulled away from Kaven and quickly scooped up some more snow. She winked at him mischievously, then tossed it into his face and took off running.
Her steps came to a stop a few paces away. "I warned you, your face would freeze like that! Feeling better?" Zurna's heart danced within her chest along with her joy. The painful silence seemed to have passed.
Kaven wiped off his face, the offended expression back - although now it was in jest. "What a way to reassure me - with more insults!" he laughed, reaching down to form a snowball of his own. He made sure to do it as she was turned away, and held the ball behind his back.
"Ah, you were right... and yes, yes I do," he smiled, stalking up to her. "And it's all... thanks to... you!" And on the last word he whipped round, flinging the snow at her.
Zurna was left sputtering and coughing as the cold snow was flung into her face. She gasped in surprise as some fell down her shirt and melted against her warm bosom. "Kaven! You're going to pay for that!"
On the warpath, the young woman scooped up more snow and went charging towards her new friend. 'Oh he's going to get it now! Just you wait Kaven. No one sticks snow down my shirt and gets away with it!'
At the back of her mind a niggling feeling that this was awfully familiar began to plague at Zurna's mind. Soft, unintelligible whispers of long forgotten memories whistled in her ears. While she blamed it on the wind, it would not be long before she could no longer ignore it.
"Ohh, I think I might get away with it!" Kaven grinned, ducking behind Equi as Zurna ran towards him. The pony snorted, looking between the two humans, and wandered off towards a patch of grass. "Oh well, you're useful," Kaven grumbled, ducking out of Zurna's range again.
He stooped to collect another pile of snow, dancing around playfully. "I can get it down there again," he laughed, holding up the ball mock-threateningly. "Do you surrender?"
"Never!" she screamed. Zurna's nimble little feet allowed her to dance across the snow. Years of living in the tundra had taught her where the ground would be soft with nothing underneath it and where there was actual solid earth below. 'Just you wait Kaven. I'll make you fall and then I'll be the one laughing.'
She faked left and spun right, allowing her body's momentum to slide her across the snow and onto some ice away from Kaven. Taking a few more steps back she began to taunt him. "What's the matter, afraid you're going to get beaten by a girl? Even Wqui knows better than to fool with me. I bet you just lucky. I bet you can't do it twice!"
Kaven had to admit, he wasn't the nimblest of people. He was slow as he pursued Zurna, making several false steps and ending up shin deep in the powdery snow. "You'll pay for that cheek!" he called after her, pulling himself out of the drift and up onto the firmer ground.
"Beaten by a girl... you wish! I'll get you." He laughed, rushing after her. With a couple of quick steps he had caught up and seized her round the waist, holding tight against the struggles that he knew would come. In that split second, he had dropped another handful of snow down her furs.
"Ack!" Zurna froze and glared up at the other man after her second helping of snow down her front. "Really? Really? Could you be anymore immature?" Inwardly she was smirking as a plan began to form. The snow in her hand had started to melt and really become useless.
'Sorry Kaven, you asked for it!' She moved into his embrace, pressing her chest into his as if to give him a hug. Behind his back her hands came up to wrap around him. But, at the last minute she slipped them into his shirt and pressed freezing cold and wet fingers against his warm back. "Hmm, this is nice," she sighed impishly. "Not so fun, is it Kaven?"
"Immature? How could you!" Kaven grasped at his chest, faking despair at her insult. He was totally unprepared for her sweet hug... and the punishment that came along with it.
"Nooo!" He wriggled back from her, shivers going down his spine at the cold contact. "Oh, it tickles!" he exclaimed, shuddering. "So mean!" He stuck his tongue out at her, choosing to forget that he had commited the first offence.
Zurna stuck her tongue out in turn. "I hardly consider it mean. If I really wanted to return the favor, I would have dumped snow down your pants. That really is the equivalent of what you did to me." She pulled away, moving her hand to her chin in contemplation.
"Then again you did get me twice. Putting cold hands on you hardly qualifies and full repayment." She looked him over from the corner of her eye. "Decisions, decisions..." Laughter bubbled up past her lips as she waved her frozen fingers at him in a "I'm going to get you," manner. "Come here Kaven. I have something for you," she sing-songed.
He was laughing all the time, both at the fun of the situation and her cheeky suggestion. He forgot everything - the cold, the torment of his dreams, the mystery of hers - everything except the childlike jot of playing in snow. It helped that he had never experienced snow before coming to Hyoite - this was all so new and amusing to him. "You wouldn't dare!" he exclaimed, eyes glinting at her threat.
"But ohh... how could I resist you and your siren call?" he half-teased, allowing himself to be drawn towards her. Goodness knew what she had in store, but he has more than willing to receive his punishment.
She was actually surprised he was making his way over towards her. 'Surely, he isn't that foolish! Oh well, more's the pity. You will pay for your little prank, Kaven. I did promise you that.' Zurna also began to move towards him, eyes keenly keeping on eye on where she was stepping. She placed herself in such a way that when Kaven stood in front of her, he would have a large pillow of snow behind him.
A bright smile was sent his way, brightening the closer he got to her. "Siren's call, is it?" she softly taunted. "How ever you ever met a siren before, Kaven? Best watch out, I hear they lure men to their death!" As she spoke, her hands had come up to to lay lightly against his chest. The final word's emphasis was coordinated with a hard push, meant to send the young man sprawling back in the snow. A well placed foot behind his ankle would help ensure not stumbling but an actual fall. The snow behind Kaven was deep and thick, a deceptive pocket of snow. Zurna looked forward to seeing him realize that.
He was well aware that Zurna had something in mind for him, but he didn't really care. He had already wasted a good few hours by sulking when he could have been talking to her - he didn't want to cap the fun they were having here by playing too coy and stopping the game. He didn't pay attention to where he was stepping, being too unfamiliar with the tundra to be aware of the snow drifts and cushions that lay below the surface. Instead, he just watched Zurna, a smile playing over his lips.
Until she pushed him, of course. "Agh!" he cried out in surprise and shock to find himself falling. Reaching out wildly, he caught a hold of her wrists as they left his chest, and held on tightly. As he fell, he pulled her with him, until they landed, submerged, in the deep coldness of the drift. "Two can play at that game!"
He was winded but had landed on his side. In a second, he was on top of her, pinning her down by the wrists.
Zurna cried out as she was dragged down with Kaven. 'Well this was unexpected,' she mused as he moved over top of her. 'Now what?' Her eyes widened as she came to realize that he had her arms pinned and that she would not be going anywhere until he let her up.
"Uh, Kaven? Can I help you with something?" Her voice was as innocent and sugary as she could make it. Internally she was trying her damnedest not to move. Zurna had no idea what to expect. Deep within the recesses of her mind a voice began to howl and get louder and closer.
He grinned, keeping her held there, but careful not to let too much of his weight rest on her. He didn't want to hurt her, of course. "Well, Zurna, maybe you can." He shifted position slightly, holding her hands in his rather than pinning her down. "Since you've been very mean to me today... throwing all that snow at me and tripping me up so I fell..." he put on an aggrieved look. "I think I deserve my own back!"
The problem was, that he hadn't really thought of how he planned on getting his revenge. He had her at his mercy now - should he respond in kind, by burying her in snow, or something a little meaner? Then his mind tugged him towards the obvious - the only thing that he wanted from her.
"You see," he carried on smoothly, not skipping a beat. "There's something I must steal from you..." he leant in close. "...a kiss."
The last words were murmured against her lips, as he met them with his, releasing her hands as he kissed her.
Not knowing what to do, Zurna lay still beneath Kaven. 'He kissed me. My first kiss. Is this really what kissing is like? Why is he kissing me? What is going on here? Does this mean he likes me? Or does he just want to try and bed me? Wouldn't be the first time.'
She gently pushed him away from her but, not too far. "The price you asked for Kaven was too high. Now you owe me something, for what you took had more value than you thought," she whispered softly. Zurna could almost taste the tension on the air, 'or is that the taste of his lips?'
"Kaven, we should probably get moving," she continued. "There is work we should be doing. We can play in the snow later." Smiling sweetly up at him, she tapped him on the nose and moved to sit up.
The closeness was wonderful, electrifying. Kaven had lost himself in the kiss, entangled beyond all reason for such a simple thing. It had been so long - too long - since he had kissed a woman. Of course, there had been opportunities that presented themselves, women that tried to seduce him, but he had turned his back on them all, the idea of intimacy too painful for him even to consider. Since Anwyn had left him, even the thought of touching another woman seemed impossible, and he had learnt to avoid those opportunities.
But now, it was different. He had known Zurna for less than two days, and yet he found himself drawn to her, not only not repelled, but even desiring to be with her. And now he had kissed her, and his heart had remembered that simple joy. Eyes closed blissfully, he did not protest when Zurna pushed him away.
"I am sorry, Zurna." He opened his eyes to look at her earnestly as she spoke, sliding away from her so that she could sit up. What does she mean? More value than I thought? he puzzled over the words as he stood, holding out a hand to help her up. "You may ask for anything in payment that you wish - I will withold nothing from you."
He smiled impishly, suddenly. "Even if you wish to pitch me into the snow again, and leave me wet and cold for you to laugh at."
She chuckled slightly, shaking her head. "No, Kaven. I do not desire to do that again. But, nice try. I will have to think of a good repayment for stealing my first kiss. Perhaps I could let my brothers loose on you," she suggested, with pursed lips and raised brow.
"Then again, that would be cruel. I wouldn't want to get my new friend killed. Who would I make do all my manual labor then?" The teasing eased the tension in her set shoulders. But, something still haunted her. Deep within her eyes there was a darkness that dampened her mood and reminded her of things past. "That kiss was mine!" a the howling voice growled.
He bowed, taking her hand and kissing it. "Ah, my lady, I will submit to anything. Anything you can imagine will be a fitting punishment for the grave injustice that I have inflicted upon you. Accidently," he added, grinning as he straightened up. Her first kiss? Damn it Kaven, you did not do that in a gentlemanly way... someone like her should have had that be a special moment, not the result of teasing and impulse. He felt a little guilty as he realised all this, but kept his voice light.
"Honestly, I would be more afraid of your wrath than your brothers'," he teased.
"He will die for touching what is mine!" The voice continued to howl. "It is not your wrath but mine he shall face!" Zurna winced under the pressure increasing within her skull. She mildly rubbed at her temple before offering another smile.
"Perhaps we should get Equi and get moving? We've probably scared off all the game in this area. That won't do us much good, if we're planning on eating tonight." The tundra woman pulled herself up and over to more solid, higher ground. "Kaven, do you know how to hunt?"
"He is worthless! Useless! I would have learned! I would have taken care of you! You were mine, Zurna! Mine!" The growlings grew louder with each passing moment. Zurna struggled to stay focused and mind her footing. 'Go away, Ezra. You're dead.'
Kaven watched her curiously for a moment, noting her apparent distraction, but shrugged it off - for now. "Alright, let's go."
He stepped up onto a mound of snow, looking around for Equi. The pony had wandered off during their games and was some way away picking at what little grass he could find. A long, low whistle from Kaven soon had the creature trotting over, however, and giving him a treat Kaven turned his attention to Zurna's last question.
"Yes, I can. I mean, not that well - we don't have big beasts where I come from, but we all grow up hunting in the woods for extra food. I wasn't bad." He shrugged modestly. "What are we hunting?"
Zurna tsked, "such a pity. Well I guess we know which one of us will be the human sacrifice," she deadpanned. She pushed past him, leading the way. "You see on the tundra we have a species called the matukyuu. They are bigger than Equi and extremely lethal. But, with you around I will have the perfect chance of survival. They'll be too distracted by you to worry about me."
Looking back at him she finally let up and winked. "Don't worry Kaven, I won't let you die. You'll just come back missing an arm or a leg. You don't need both of those do you?" The voice in the back of her head laughed maliciously at the idea. 'Not very creative are you, Z? Kill him the same way you murdered me.'
Kaven raised his eyebrows, not entirely sure whether or not Zurna was joking. She sounded a little too serious when she mentioned the distraction that he would cause. "No, I'm sure I can get by with a wooden limb or two. Maybe I can join a pirate ship," he joked casually, choosing to believe she was doing the same.
"Matukyuu?" he said slowly, trying out the unfamiliar word. "What exactly are they?" He eyed Equi, trying to picture such a large creature. "What do they look like? And will Equi be safe?" He knotted his hand into the pony's mane, determined not to lead the creature into danger. "If not, he's not going."
"Equi will be safe, we're not headed into their territory. As long as we don't enter the nesting grounds, there is nothing to fear." Zurna shuddered with the memories of past encounters. "The matukyuu are...well they look like large bulky dog-humans? It is really hard to describe to someone who has never seen one before."
She sighed trying to think of how to put it. "I guess, well, no. Okay, they are bigger than Equi, broad of shoulder and chest. They have humanoid arms except longer and thicker and they prefer to move on all fours. The have thick pointed ears and a like a wolf's. Their fur is as white as snow and soft as rabbit fur. The really are truly beautiful creatures but, I think it's best I don't share the horror stories that go with them. I need a big, strong man like you to carry dinner for me," she winked, trying to lighten the mood.
"They don't sound beautiful," Kaven said doubtfully, trying to picture such a beast. "So, that is what we're going to hunt - and then eat?" He couldn't decide whether to be curious about this strange new creature, or concerned by their reputation and the fear in Zurna's voice. This sounds like a dangerous mission," he said, half-jokingly.
Equi snorted in agreement, pawing restlessly at the ground. "Yeah, I know," Kaven commented to the pony, forgetting for a minute that he was with Zurna. "They don't sound like something I want to meet either, huh?" He stroked the animal's forelock gently, affectionately. "I told you it was a mad idea she had for us."
"Oh goodness! You can't take a joke can you? We are not under any circumstances going to try and kill a matukyuu. I have already escaped with my life twice, I don't fancy trying for a third time. But," she stopped walking and fully turned to face Kaven.
"If you want you can borrow my knife." Without waiting for an answer she flipped it out and offered the hilt to him. "I won't be using it until later, if at all." Zurna waved her bow, "this is all I really need."
"Hey." Kaven protested. "This is a strange land to me, I don't know what you hunt or eat, or don't. And besides, you're pretty fierce." He grinned, not meaning it as an insult. "They have dragons down south, I can see you taking one of those on. And probably winning, at that."
"Thanks." He took the knife, turning it over in his hand. "I have my own, but it could do with sharpening."
(OOC: Sorry it's so short...brain not working)
Zurna's eyes widened in amazement. "Dragons? You mean those are real? Have you seen a dragon before? Are they big and scary? Do they purr like cats? What do they look like?" She took hold of Kaven's forearm and was literally bouncing up and down in excitement. "Tell me, tell me, tell me," she squealed.
He grinned, pleased to be the one with information to share. "Of course they exist! But I'd never seen one until I left home. They live in a region called Adela... I don't know if they are anywhere else. Some of them are only as big as dogs, but some a huge... like..." he cast around for a comparison, and came up short. "Well, those ones, their wings can fill the sky! And they are scary, yes" he laughed. "I nearly fainted when one first blew flame at me."
"They ride them there. Warriors on dragonback!" He marvelled. "Just imagine flying through the skies, on a creature as big as a mountain."
She laughed in joy and excitement over his sharing of knowledge. "That must have been so fascinating! People actually ride dragons? Have you? I wonder what it is like to soar through the sky like a bird, to touch clouds, and to hold stars in the palm of my hand. I wish I could see a dragon. It must be all so...mystical."
Zurna's eyes glazed over with dreams not yet lived. 'One day I will see the world. Would you take me if I asked, Kaven? Would you swim in the sea and dance under a moonlit sky with me? Could we have the things my brothers have? Do you I even want that kind of happiness and with you? I hardly know him. Is he even interested? He kissed me. Other men have tried, doesn't mean he likes you like that. You don't just hold someone and kiss someone the way he does. How would you know? Since when have you become an expert on men and love?'
"Indeed Z, you bring up a good point. When have you ever been with a man? Loved a man? Silly girl. If you hadn't killed me, I would have taken you to places, would have done things with you. But, you certainly ruined that didn't you. Didn't you!"
She dropped her hand away from Kaven's arm as if burned. Blinking rapidly she tried to smile and hide the spooked feeling that was sending her heart racing. "We need to get moving. I don't like standing out here like this. We'll all get sick like this." Zurna sent one more half-smile before starting to move away.
"I did ride one. But only once. They are fiercely protective of themselves and their riders and don't often let strangers onto their backs. But when they do, it's incredible. It feels like you are unsupported, just gliding through the air at an incredible speed. You can see for miles, and miles, and the air up there... it's like another world..." Kaven drifted off into his own world, totally unaware that Zurna wasn't really listening anyway.
Lost in his memories, he thought back to the brief time he had spent in the Adelan mountains, taking the time to befriend a dragon and its rider, learning about the magnificent creatures. It had been a strange time for him, taking place so shortly after he had left home with a broken heart. But the fascination of discovering such a strange new world had helped him to heal - set him on the path back to happiness. Maybe that's what Zurna needs. Sometimes, she seems so unhappy, he pondered. I bet she would love to see the world.
He came back to his senses as she spoke, this last thought fresh on his mind. "You're right." He began hurrying after her, Equi trotting at his side. As he caught up, he grasped for her hand, stepping into her sight, and spoke urgently.
"Zurna, come with me. If I leave here, come with me and see the world."
"C-c-come with you?" she stuttered out. Zurna pulled her hand away from his grasp and took a step back. "Kaven, I hardly know you. How could I go with you? And what about my family? I can't just leave them like that. I have responsibilities here. Not everyone can be like you and just pick up and leave. Some of us actually have to live our lives instead running away from them."
She knew the moment the words left her mouth, they were crueler than she intended them to be. But, fear drove her to say them. Fear of Kaven, fear of herself, fear of the unknown, all of it tore at her, dragging her to the breaking point. Then there was the ever-present voice in the back of her head. The constant poisoning whispers were killing her. Bit by bit, Zurna was dying from the inside out.
"I'm sorry," she finally whispered out, tears already beginning to roll down her cheeks. "Don't apologize! Break him, hurt him, kill him! Make him want you! Make him die for you!" Shaking her head viciously from side to side, she tried to get a hold of herself 'No! I am not doing this again! How many times must I show weakness in front of him? How many times will he see me cry? I won't let you hurt me Ezra. I won't let you hurt him!'
The tauntings continued becoming louder and more powerful. Zurna felt her control on the real world slipping away again. Her breathing came faster and faster until she was gasping for the next lungful of air. "Kaven," she chocked out. Blindly, she reached out for him. "Help me!" Sinister laughter echoed through her head, as she fought to hold on.
The protest died on Kaven's lips as Zurna's taunt hit him. Mouth open and bewildered, he didn't even turn away but stood gazing at her, pain and betrayal filling his eyes. Well that was it - the proof he'd expected. He was damaged goods now - unworthy of being loved - unable to be loved, even. Flashes of his previous life shot through his mind. Anwyn, Sisi, the faces of his parents, the polite concern of the other villagers... and he turned away as the memories took over.
"You're pathetic!" The beautiful face of his fiance was contorted with anger as she yelled. "You spend all your life in other people's dreams, and you can't even understand your own! Are you even trying? Why don't you care how it makes me feel?"
"Don't leave me Kaven," Sisi's eyes filled with tears. "I need you here. Don't go. It'll be alright."
The guilt tugged at him. Deep down he knew he was running away from the pain, knew he was leaving his family and his village, but there was no way to escape the pain. He had to...
"I had to..." the painful whisper escaped him, just as he was knocked by a powerful wave of hateful energy. The negativity had him staggered, until Zurna's cry brought him back to himself. He whipped around and met her hands, pulling her in towards him.
"It's alright," he whispered into her hair, desperately searching for that pocket of positive energy to share with Zurna. Right now it was buried deep within him, but he found it and focused all his thoughts on her, the energy pulsing through him, to her. He could only hope that it would be enough to bring her back from the edge, before she fell back into that dark place.
Zurna shivered in his embrace as she struggled not to fall into her own mind again. Desperately clinging to him, she whimpered as the voice in her head only grew louder. "Make it stop," she whimpered. "Just make it stop. Go away!"
Tears freely flowed as it got harder and harder for her to hang on to reality. The warmth of Kaven's embrace both mental and physical served as an anchor for Zurna to weather the storm with. The burst of positivity he sent her was just the momentum she needed to slam the door shut on her memory of Ezra.
"I'm sorry, Kaven. I'm so sorry; I didn't mean it, I swear! Please forgive me," she sobbed into his chest. Her arms came up and wrapped around his neck as she continued to cling. Sweat and tears poured down her face and her breath came out in hiccuping sobs. 'It is done. He can never bother me again. It is done.' Yet even as she began to calm, a muffled sobbing could be heard coming from that locked door in her mind. It was far from over; it had only just begun.
Keeping up the flow of energy was hard, and Kaven struggled to find the strength. It was tiring at the best of times - but in his distraught state he found it exhausting to keep open the bridge between him and Zurna. Keep it open he did, though, feeling how much she needed him. His strong arms were wrapped around her waist as she cried, letting her get out the tears she needed.
"Shh... It's alright," he murmured, bringing up a hand to stroke her hair. "It isn't you fault," he assumed she was apologising for her meltdown... why she would apologise, he wasn't sure, but he shrugged it off. Still holding her close, he thought for a moment, aware that his next words might inspire an angry reaction from her.
"I think you need to talk about this."
"No!" she cried out. Zurna tried to pull away but, quickly realized her eyes were still unfocused and blind to her actual surroundings. Defeat set into her weary form and she gave up. Slumping forward into Kaven's embrace, she could not stop her knees from collapsing and she dropped like a rock.
"I mean, please. I can't put that burden on you. Kaven, you don't know me. My problems are not yours. You should not have to share in that. I'm fine!" She desperately stated before growing quieter. "I'll be fine. I'll be alright. Really, don't worry about me." Zurna was trying to evade the problem, but with her weak legs and blinded eyes, she was not going anywhere anytime soon.
"No, you're not," Kaven said patiently, reaching down to pick Zurna up off her feet. He held her strongly against him, supporting her until she could find her feet. "You're not fine, and I don't think you'll be fine." He spoke softly but firmly, trying to get through to her without pushing her too hard in this vulnerable state.
"It is not a burden, Zurna. I can help you. And even just talking, may let you help yourself. Please, listen to me," he urged her. "Consider it, at least?"
She shook her vehemently. "No, Kaven. There is nothing to talk about. The past is the past and that is how it should stay, buried and forgotten. You don't need this. I don't need this. It's fixed now. It won't happen again."
Blinking her eyes rapidly, Zurna tried to get her vision to clear. Slowly but surely she began to see large shapes against white snow. "I'm fine, Kaven," she reiterated. "We should get moving. All these delays will never get the work done." With fuzzy vision, she smiled in the direction of Kaven's face before attempting to pull away.
He lessened his hold on her slightly as she pulled away, but caught hold of her hands instead. "It will happen again," he insisted, confident that he knew what he was talking about. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but this is going to happen again. I don't know what happened, but I do know that you can't just bury the past and hope that it will never bother you again."
He was insistent, his eyes pleading with her. "Please trust me. I have seen this before. You have to accept what happened, or you will never be free of it."
Zurna allowed herself to be caught. Bowing her head, she tried to deny the truth but, found she could not do so. "And what if it can't get better Kaven? Would dragging it all back to light be what is best for me? I have it under control now. This is the best it is going to have to be. I would rather this than be caged in by it. Let it go, Kaven. Just let it go."
"But how long do you have it under control for? How long until you find yourself at the mercy of your own mind again?" He took hold of her other hand gently, still talking. "It can get better, and it will. You are not fundamentally tied to this... you can beat it and I know you can." There was a ring of conviction in his voice - it was clear that he truly believed in what he was saying.
"Let me help you."
"How can you know? How can you possibly help? This is as fixed as it will ever get, Kaven. It's been ten years. I was fine until-I'm fine. Just-just let it go. Please, for your own sake." Zurna tried to offer him a smile but, gave up when it died.
Her eyes closed and she threw her head to the side, pondering what to say. "Please, Kaven. I don't want fight you over this, not now. I really need to do my responsibility to my family now. If you are coming, then come. But, otherwise you can just go back."
She opened and closed her mouth trying to say more but, the words did not come easily. Sighing, she shook her head sadly. "Maybe you're right," she finally conceded. "I don't know. But, not now. Later." Resolved she nodded her head now. "Later, I promise."
"I was fine until-" Kaven dropped her hands at these words, sure he had heard the unspoken message. Until what? Until I came along? Until she met me? Until I managed to ruin something else? It's bad enough when I wreck my own life - but someone else's? He felt a wave of self-loathing pass over him and turned away as she spoke. "Fine," he said curtly, her harsh words from before returning to his mind.
"I'm coming." He felt the dismissal in her voice but shrugged it off. He had said he would help her hunt today, and help he would. If after that, he'd outlived his usefulness, well then, he'd go. He whistled for the pony and stepped away from Zurna. "Alright, later."
He had the distinct feeling that when 'later' came, she'd forget her promise, but the argument was clearly over for now. "Where are we going?"
Zurna felt incredibly hurt by Kaven's apparent casting her to the side. 'So what, I don't do what you want when you want and suddenly I stop being so interesting? Is this just a game to you? I thought you cared. I thought you really meant you could help me. I see how it is, I'm just some little broken toy for you to fix. Nice try, I'm not so easily broken boy! I don't need your help.'
Feeling rejected, she almost did not answer him. At the last moment she decided against it though believing it best to not burn bridges, so to speak. "To the hunting grounds further inland. It is not much further now. I'll probably try and hunt an elk if I can find tracks. That would be plenty of meat to feed most of us, plus what my family already has. But, we'll see what the gods have planned for us."
Kaven was checking Equi's hooves, ensuring that the hard snow was not impacting itself into the delicate flesh. He listened to Zurna's words quietly, thinking ahead to the day they would have.
"Elks?" he asked curiously, in spite of himself. "We don't have those where I live... what are they?" He forced out the words, genuinely curious but finding it hard not to retreat into stony silence. It wasn't until after he'd spoken that he noticed his odd choice of words - 'where I live'. He was confused momentarily and blushed, unsure exactly of where he'd meant. Where do I live, now?
"Uh." Zurna really did not know how to describe an elk to someone who had never seen one. Never having left the tundra, she could not compare it to something Kaven might know. "Well I guess you could say they are a bit like a horse," she finally stated eying Equi.
She walked over in concern, gently patting the pony's flank. "Is he alright? Poor baby, is the snow making it miserable for you." The young woman cooed some more things and rubbed her hands along the horse's neck in a soothing manner.
"Elks are like horses but, they have these big antlers, er, horns?" Unsure of how to describe them, she placed both of her hands on top of her head. Her four fingers pointed up while her thumb curled in across her palm. "They make this bellowing sound. You can hear it for miles across the tundra. They can be pretty dangerous in their own right. But, I am not too worried about them. A horse can trample you, yet we don't fear Equi. Same thing with an elk; one could kill you but, that's not going to happen."
"Ah, he'll be alright." Satisfied, Kaven let Equi's legs alone and patted him. It softened his mood slightly to see how Zurna interacted with the pony, and he found himself smiling as she cooed.
"They sound fascinating." He grinned as she did the impression of antlers, although exactly what an elk was like remained a mystery to him. "I suppose we should get going then?"
Guiding hand under Equi's chin, he stepped aside to let Zurna lead the way.
Nodding her head, she continued onward. Keen and well-trained eyes searched the ground, scouring for tracks that would decide their next course of action. Finally, she let off a soft exclamation of joy. "Look Kaven," she called to him.
Pointing to the ground she showed him a series of hoof prints. "These are elf marks. We are getting closer. Won't be long now I think. Looks like they are headed for water. It should give me the perfect advantage if they are sedentary. I would rather not fire at a stampede."
Taking her bow in hand, she smiled brightly at Kaven. "Ready for some fun?"
"Ohh," Kaven bent over the marks, examining them. "They are somewhat like deer marks," he concluded, guessing that the creatures might be similar. He nodded and listened as Zurna explained, eager to see the hunt.
"You shush, alright boy?" He turned to Equi and kissed his cheek lightly. "We're going hunting, don't you scare the elk off." He joked and turned back to Zurna. "Ready. Let's go!"
A soft chuckle tickled her lips at Kaven's antics. 'He's so cute. I just want to hug him when he acts like that.' The smile was washed away though as she remembered his rejection of her earlier. 'He doesn't care, Z. He's only using you. Get on with it. There is work to do, no use dwelling on idiot boys.'
Just as she had said, it did not take them long to find the herd by the small river. Climbing onto a a frozen snowbank, Zurna quietly beckoned Kaven up to follow. "Beautiful,aren't they," she whispered.
With the skill of a practiced hunter, she readied her bow. Scanning the prey she searched for an elder that would slow the herd down and would be the easiest target. Not far from her an adult buck limped along on the outskirts of the group. Nodding her head, Zurna warmed up her bowstring, stretching it over and over again until she felt comfortable. Notching an arrow in place she took a wide stance and prepared to fire. 'Remember to breathe,' she whispered out, letting the arrow sing.
"Wow," Kaven was impressed by the elk, gazing at them. "They're huge," he kept his voice low as Zurna did, used to hunting in the forest at home - although the animals were somewhat smaller there. Keeping one eye on Equi, who was standing quietly at the bottom of their snowbank, he eased himself into a better position to watch Zurna shoot.
It was a shame that he couldn't really help here, having only a knife, but he was impressed with Zurna's confident shooting.
The arrow flew straight and true, felling the target in one smooth blow. The elk fell heavily, startling the rest of the herd into action. "Hold your ground," Zurna whispered to Kaven, as the herd wheeled towards them.
Sure enough, at the last moment the frightened beasts swung wide to the left and passed them by. "That was the easy part. Now comes the hard part," scowling but, laughing Zurna began a rapid descent down the snowbank. Halfway down she tripped over her own feet and went rolling down, smacking hard into the frozen ground at the bottom.
"Well, that wasn't supposed to be the hard part." Giggling she got back on her feet and shakily weaved her way over to the great beast. She uttered one quick prayer of thanks before beginning to bind the feet together. "We have to drag him all the way back home. Then, comes all the butchering. I hate the messy work. The actual job wouldn't be half as bad if there wasn't so much, well, mess."
"Impressive." Kaven let out a low whistle as the elk fell, then watched wide-eyed as the herd thundered past them. "They're fascinating." He made a mental note of the animals and the way they behaved, knowing that his family would want to hear all about them in his next letter home. A scuffle reminded him of Zurna, and he laughed to see her on the ground.
"Having some trouble?" He didn't find it much easier to navigate the icy ground, and opted to just slide down the bank on his rear - less dignified, yes, but with less chance of falling flat. He hurried over to help Zurna bind the animal.
"Well, I don't mind the messy side if you'd rather avoid it," he offered. "I'm used to cleaning and preparing my catches. Sisi always flat refused to do it." He laughed and straightened up, looking down on the beast.
"Deal! Although, just don't burst the bladder sack. I'll never hear the end of it." Zurna shook her head and rolled her eyes. "When I was first learning to clean a kill, the first thing I did was rupture the sack. It is was right after I was told to avoid that too. My brothers mercilessly tease me ever since."
Standing and throwing her bow over her back she also looked down at the kill. "Sisi, you called me that name once before. Is it your sister, or-" she almost continued on to say ex-fiance but, felt it better ont to bring up possibly painful memories for him. "You know you never told me about your sister other than you had one. Perhaps we could swap sibling stories while we drag this back?"
Zurna was trying to find a safe ground to talk on with him. She knew that things were rocky since they met and she did not want to destroy the budding friendship they seemed to be forming. 'Please let Sisi be his sister! Why, jealous? No! Well, maybe a little but, even if it was his ex, it wouldn't matter. He isn't interested in me and I'm not interested in him. Anymore. Ever. For now. Indecisive much?'
"Don't worry, I've done that before too," Kaven laughed. "I learned my lesson pretty quickly." As she went on, he frowned, confused. "I called you Sisi? When?" He didn't remember the incident at all.
"Yes, my sister," he noticed her pause and moved past it, grateful that she hadn't said the words, even though they now hung between them. To get past the momentary awkwardness he carried on, pleased for the chance to talk about his sister.
"No, I suppose I didn't. Sisi - or Susila if you want to annoy her. Which I do, a lot of the time." He grinned fondly. "She'd be nineteen now, and the most beautiful girl in the village... she always was. She was always a heartbreaker too. She was always falling madly in love with each young, handsome stranger that passed through La'marri." He talked steadily as they started moving back towards the camp, dragging the elk. He was speaking softly, but with a note of laughter in his voice as he remembered his little sister. "Every time that she's written to me since I've been away, she's talked about a different boy. She draws people - all people - to her like moths to a flame. I think you'd get on with her."
"You called me Sisi when you woke up from your night mare," she mumbled, refusing to look at him as she blushed. Zurna was very grateful for his desire to push on through, instead of lingering on the awkwardness she had created.
She let out a small chuckle when he talked about annoying her sister. Zurna was no stranger to teasings of an elder brother, let alone the twenty-five she herself had. "Quite the heartbreaker indeed. Can't say I can relate though. The only thing I seem to draw are strangers looking for a guide, some of them more crazy than the last." Zurna pushed a forced laugh past her lips as memories of some of strangers she had met over the summer. 'Ryuu, Janson, Sasha. Men are so strange.' Some of them had been good, some had been bad, and some had been just plain odd.
"Are you saying that I would get on with her because we are similiar, Kaven?" Zurna was teasing but, she did wonder at his response. I'm not really the type to go breaking hearts." Behind the closed door a short howl could be heard before she forced it back. "When was the last time you saw her?"
"Of course I am," he teased. "You will break my heart when you inevitably kick me out of your home, for overstaying my welcome." He winked to show her that he was joking, although he wouldn't be surprised if men fell for Zurna all the time - he could even feel it happening to himself, against all the odds. "But no, don't be offended," he laughed, carrying on. "She is a lovely person, she has a beautiful mind. She is fiery and loving and would do anything to protect someone - and then go on to play a prank on them. She laughs all day long and always has time to spend with you. She's so easy to get along with. And I know she'd be fascinated by you and your life here... she'd keep you up all night asking questions!"
The smile faltered on his lips for just an instant as he pondered her last question. "It is... nearly two years since I last saw her," he said softly. "I left shortly after her seventeenth birthday. But we have written many letters, she keeps me updated on her fascinating life, and I tell her of all the new things that I see."
Zurna joined in with his laughter. "Your sister does sound very wonderful. I wish I could meet her. I am sure we would have a lot to share about our different lives. Although, I guess I can make do with her idiot older brother." She winked to show she was teasing and gave Kaven a bit if a shove as she continued to pull the elk along.
"Two years is a long time indeed. But, at least you can still write each other. That must close the distance at least a little bit." Zurna lowered her head feeling a bit self-conscious. 'He can read and write. That's more than you can do, Z. No wonder he sees you as some pet project. He is more educated than you. Yeah, well when I found him, he was nearly frozed to death. Maybe I can't read but, at least I know how to survive in the world. What good are books in the middle of a blizzard? Useless, that's what!'
Still trying to keep the conversation light, Zurna struggled to find a safe topic again. "What will you tell her in your next letter? What about my home would she find interesting?"
"Well, maybe one day, somehow, you can meet her. And you two can swap ways to insult me, I'm sure you'd both enjoy that," Kaven smiled good-naturedly as she pushed him, not minding the tease. "Yes, we're both very lucky that we can write. Not well, of course, neither of us is about to write a novel, but my mother tried so very hard to teach us both. She grew up as a slave in a temple in the forest, and they taught her there," he explained. "She desperately wanted something good to come out of such an experience, so it was important to her that we learn."
"My next letter? Oh, I will tell her everything. About all this snow, ice, the freezing temperatures. The fascinating animals and the way of life that you follow here. And of course, I'll tell her how pretty the girls are, here in the tundra," he ended the list with a wink.
Her brow furrowed as she turned her head first to the left and then over to the right. "Girls? What girls? You haven't seen any girls in this tundra, unless you happened to have met one before I found your frozen ass. Which by the way, I highly doubt because I know where I found you; the closest sign of civilization was my home."
Zurna did not know why she felt not only jealous but evasive. She knew perfectly well that Kaven was talking about her, or at least she hoped he was. But, still she could not allow the compliments to pass. In her mind they were only false claims. There was no truth in them.
"Your mother was a slave? Tell me about your parents. I mean, you have met mine. I feel at a disadvantage. You know more about my family, in some ways, than I know about yours."
"Yeah, funny that, isn't it," Kaven said wryly, teasing her gently. "I don't appear to have seen any girls at all... except that there is this one," he adopted a conspiratorial whisper. "I met this lovely woman who rescued me when I was lost in the snow, who adores my pony, who welcomed me into her home and her family, who showed me the wonders of the tundra, and slept by my side to keep me company. Oh, and she's very beautiful." He smiled and touched her hand briefly. "I can't think who she must be, though."
He sobered up slightly as she asked about his mother. "Yes, unfortunately. Her parents were very poor and died when she was a small child. She was taken in by the local temple and brought up to serve the temple. It was a hard life - she was at the bottom of the pecking order and was never allowed to forget the debt she owed to the temple. Luckily, when she was a teenager she was permitted to leave. The head priestess took pity on her and gave her her freedom. She met my father not long afterwards. So at least her story has a happy ending."
He smiled, but lapsed into thoughtful silence as they walked, getting closer to the camp. It was only a matter of minutes until they reached home again.
A deep flush still colored Zurna's cheeks as Kaven spoke of his mother. She felt bad for bringing up a sadder subject, realizing too late that it probably was not one of her smarter ideas. "I like happy endings," she commented quietly. The silence between them made her feel like she had really overstepped her boundaries by bringing up his mother.
The rising smoke columns caused a sigh of relief to ghost past her lips. "Home again," she directed to Kaven with a wide smile. "The smoke tent is to the left and behind the main tent, we can butcher the elk up there." Despite her smiles and her upbeat attitude, internally Zurna was debating with herself.
'Should I tell him about Ezra? Why should you? He only sees you as a little pet. I made a promise. Damn your promise, he probably doesn't remember. I remember. Then forget it. What if he is right? What if he is just using you? That doesn't mean he is wrong. You hid it in the smoke tent. You won't get a better chance than then. Should I? Do you dare?'
Kaven smiled quietly, nostalgically. "I think everyone does." He was thinking of his mother, remembering the stories of her youth that she used to tell him. Oddly, she had never told them as traumatic, or even unpleasant - and despite the harsh reality of the situation, it didn't bring negative feelings to his mind. It was a few minutes before he spoke again, more cheerfully this time. "She ended up a very special woman, and a very happy one. I just hope I get a happy ending, too." He grinned light-heartedly.
He nodded as Zurna gave the instructions, and turned towards the smoke tent. As they reached their destination, he ran a practised eye over the body of the elk, sizing it up for carving. "Don't worry, I haven't forgotten that I offered to do the nasty bit," he laughed, kneeling by the creature. After a second of consideration, he set to work, glancing up ar Zurna with a smile. "You can just sit and relax."
'Don't we all?' her heart spoke up in regards to happy endings. "Thank you. I really hate doing this job." Smiling Zurna sat down on a crate to watch Kaven work and keep him company.
Her nimble fingers worked on making new arrow tails from the "fluff bag," as her young nieces called it. Inside the bag were a collection of feathers that were left over and saved from past hunts. Most of them would be used for blankets and pillows but, Zurna liked to keep the green feathers for her arrows.
However, her mind was easily distracted by the contents residing just underneath her. She really was trying to stay in the present and carry a conversation with Kaven. But, she caught herself more often than not zoning out and giving weak answers in reply.
Inside her mind, behind a closed door a tiny voice pleaded to be released from his prison. 'Do I tell him? Do I show him?' The voice persisted. "Please Z, I won't hurt you. I'm your friend! Friends don't do this. Don't you miss me? I love you. Please Z, let me out."
She shook her head and sighed. "Kaven," Zurna began but hesitated, refusing to look at him. "Why do you care so much? I'm nobody to you, yet you care. Why?" Her hands clenched around the arrow shaft, nearly snapping it in half. Zurna felt incredible insecure and vulnerable in this moment. She wanted nothing more than to run but, her demanded an answer.
Kaven was working calmly and confidently, pleased to be doing something actually useful. It would go a little way to repay some of the gratitude he felt to Zurna and her family, for welcoming him into their homes so readily. As he worked on the elk he hummed under his breath, an old song from the forests of home, and let his mind wander freely as their conversation petered out. He was almost surprised when Zurna spoke - he would have jumped if it weren't for the tension that he could feel building around her. As a result, he was prepared when she spoke out, and kept his eyes fixed ahead, giving her the privacy to talk unscrutinised.
"Why?" he considered his answer. "I can feel people, Zurna, I understand them. I can feel the goodness in you - it radiates out with everything you do and say. Whether you believe in it or not." He smiled to himself, turning so that he was sideways on to her. He wanted to make sure she didn't feel threatened as they spoke. "And I can feel the pain in you, too. And you have shown me your humour, your love for your family, and all the small things that add up to make a person special."
He looked up then, hoping to meet her eyes. "You are special, Zurna."
A puff of air nosily left Zurna's nose as she exhaled sharply. 'Keep telling yourself that Kaven. There is nothing special about me other than the madness trapped within. You cannot fix that.'
"That kind of caring on your part doesn't explain why you are so insistent on helping me, on fixing me," she bit out. The rage she felt inside was not meant for Kaven but, for herself. She hated what was happening to her and felt helpless to stop it.
It was something that had only started recently over the summer and seemed to get worse by the day. Her own mind frightened her. She did not know what to do and who to turn to. But, Kaven's desire to help her, also worried her. She could not understand why he would want to do such a thing. If he had been a member of her family, it would have made sense to her. But, Kaven was a stranger she had just met and hardly knew.
'He could help. He could you mess you up in the head. I need help. No! You took care of the problem; it's over and done with. Then why do I hear Ezra's voice? You are making that up because you are scared. Am I? What am I scared of? Yourself. Him. What happened over the summer. Nothing happened earlier this summer. No? Then where is it? You buried it in the chest because you are afraid, Zurna. You are terrified and you know it! I need his help. No, you want his help. You are a woman of the tundra. No one can help you better than yourself. I want to trust him. Then you are a fool!'
"Fixing?" Kaven looked shocked, sitting back so he could see Zurna more clearly. "No, no, Zurna. You fix things that are broken. People are never broken - they just need some help to get back on track, sometimes."
He thought for a while, unable to put into words what he wanted to say. "I want to help you, for the same reason that I want to help anyone who needs me. I help people because I love it, Zurna. Because some people lose their way, and I can help to put them back on track - I can make a difference to people's lives, and their happiness, and make a difference to the lives of those they love. And knowing that I have helped to improve someone else's life, improves mine," he smiled self-consciously. "It sounds trite, but it's true."
He reached out to her, offering his hand. "It hurts me to see people in pain, or suffering. Especially when they are people I care about - and especially when I know that I can help. And I know you are in pain. I think I could help you, I really do. But if you want, I will drop it now and never return to the subject." He could see the torment in her eyes and bit his lip as he offered his surrender, hoping that whatever Zurna chose would be the best for her.
She listened to him intently, not saying or doing anything. Everything about her was quiet. His offer to let the subject go gave her the courage to make her final decision. A harsh wind blew against the tent ripping the flap open and forcing her to abandon considering taking Kaven's hand.
Slowly unfurling herself she made her way over and roughly tied it shut again. Zurna did not look at him as she moved back over to her seat. But, instead of sitting she knelt in front of the chest. For long moments she just sat and stared at it. Hesitantly, her hands finally came up to rest on the lid. As carefully as one would hold a newborn, Zurna opened the chest and reached outside.
Zurna stood up then with something clutched in her hands before going to sit cross-legged before Kaven. Secured tightly in her hands was a large white bundle. Sighing, she at last broke her silence. "Earlier today, I told you of a tundra beast known as the matukyuu. What I did not tell you, was just how dangerous they are. Very few have ever survived an encounter with one of their kind. Only a handful have ever managed to kill one. Today only one person survives who has done such a deed."
Her words trailed off as Zurna ran her fingers over the soft white fur in her lap. Licking her lips she began again. "To kill a matukyuu is to have the honor of wearing its skin, for the matukyuu are nearly impossible to kill. No arrow can penetrate their skin. They can only die from close range attacks and if you are that close then you are already dead. The last killing of a matukyuu was ten years ago. A young boy also died. His name was Ezra."
A shaky sigh rattled through her chest as she tried to continue and found she could not. The previous howling within her head had silenced, leaving an eerie echo in its place. Frustrated, Zurna ran her hand through her hair and looked about distractedly. "I used to wear this proudly, knowing that Ezra's death was not the only one, that this," she held up the furs, "had been a life for a life. But, something happened this summer and it changed everything. I never had nightmares like this until right before I met you. A chain of events has things in motion and I cannot understand why. I have not even told my family of this."
Zurna opened and closed her mouth as if to say more. Yet, in the end she fell silent and just shook her head. The words of before would not continue to flow. It made her uncomfortable to talk with Kaven like this. It was a matter she had not even discussed with those closest to her. Despite Kaven's reassurances she was afraid. If he could not help her, then what did that mean? Did it mean she was beyond help? Did it mean she was insane? Did it mean that something horrible was about to happen? What did it mean? All Zurna knew was that she did know, and that the unknown scared her more than any of the possibilities she had already thought of.
Kaven sat solemnly while Zurna talked, watching her attentively. His eyes widened as she brought out the fur, and his attention wavered for a moment as he examined it - from a distance, of course, as he understood not to take it from her. Although his body was still and breathing quiet, his mind was racing as the story was revealed to him. Suddenly, so much was making sense to him, but there were still many questions at the forefront of his mind. It took an effort to remain calm, listening to Zurna, and trying to hear the words she didn't say as much as the ones she did.
As she trailed off, he remained quiet, letting the silence stretch between them for a few moments and settle. Then he let out a sigh and looked up to meet her eyes. First things first. "Thank you for telling me," he said softly. "I realise it must have been so difficult for you."
He stopped again then, unsure of how to proceed. How much did Zurna want to discuss the situation - or did she want to stop it there? He was cautious, wary of pushing her too far or distressing her.
"Do you want to talk about it more? Or would you prefer to drop it?"
She breathed a sigh of relief when he finally spoke, letting her head fall forward. "I wish I could you did know but," Zurna paused looking up with sad but clear eyes, "unless you have watched your best friend be murdered and know that you are the one that caused that to happen, you cannot understand how difficult it is to speak of."
The young woman could see the earnestness in his eyes. She understood that he really did want to help her. But, she could not help but wonder how he could. 'Talking will not solve this. This is something more than just mourning. I mourned ten years ago and I let it fade naturally. This is as if it is a fresh wound. It's tearing me apart. I just don't understand why. It is all so sudden. I was fine until-I should never have gone. They all told me not to. I would not listen. Now look what has become of me; I am a monster.'
Her gaze continued to hold his deep green one. 'How can he help me? His eyes, it is as if they can see right through me. Is that how it is Kaven? Can you see my soul? Do you know my thoughts, my torments, my fears?' Zurna wished desperately to just run. Whether it was to run to Kaven or away from him, she did not know. She was not sure which was worse.
"I don't know, Kaven. I don't know how to speak about it. There is so much to tell, so much that needs telling. Some things are more painful than others. I fear-" 'I fear that you will think badly of me. I fear how you will judge me.' "I fear the unknown of my life that I have always revered. If we cannot be safe in our own mind, how can we ever be safe? There was a time when this did not trouble me, this living nightmare. But, ever since the beginning of this summer it has become so much more, so twisted. Here it is at last autumn and winter will soon be on its heels. I-" Zurna shrugged her shoulders and dropped her gaze in shame. "I just don't know anymore."
He nodded solemnly, seeing the conflict in Zurna's eyes, and hearing it in her voice. This was a complicated situation, and he was having trouble with how to deal with it. He had seen many similar scenarios in the course of his work, all of which had been dealt with in some way - to various degrees of success, admittedly. But when he was working he often didn't know his 'patients' personally, and the affection he was starting to feel for Zurna confused him. It was making him hold off from really suggesting that she let him help her. He was worried about causing her offence, about her turning down the offer - and about what would happen if it didn't work.
He let her finish and reached out to touch her shoulder, feeling the shame that filled her. "It's hard for you. And I know this will be hard to believe, but I honestly believe that this will pass." He rested his hand on her shoulder for a moment before releasing it and resting his hands on his knees - accessible for her if she chose contact. He paused before continuing, and made his suggestion gently.
"If there is so much that needs telling, maybe you should tell it. Tell this boy's story. Instead of trying to repress the memories and let them fade, keep them real, and keep the memory alive. Then a little part of Ezra will still be alive and people will hear his story. Maybe that is what he wants."
Zurna nodded her head in understanding. His hand's fleeting rest on her shoulder saddened her. Before she knew what she was doing, her own latched onto his where it rested on his knee. Her grip was comfortable, he could pull away if he wanted but firm enough to show that she did want to hold his hand.
"It is not that I repress his tale. Up until recently things were well about that. I visited his grave, I wore the cloak proudly, I was fine. It is just all so sudden and caused by something that..." Zurna squeezed his hand a little tighter before letting it fall straight back down into her own lap.
Her sigh was telling of the stress she was silently enduring. "We should get this inside so we can eat." She stood up slowly, placing a hesitant on Kaven's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. Turning away Zurna replaced the fur in the chest and began helping with the elk.
'Tonight, if he still wants to help, we can talk about it tonight. I have other duties now. I can't let this rule my life. I will overcome this, one way or another I will win. I always do. Kaven, don't give up on me yet. I...I think I care about you. I don't want lose you because of my own problems. Hang on. I'll figure it out. I swear I will! I will.'
Kaven returned the firm grip on Zurna's hand, glad that she had reached out to him. He watched her thoughtfully as she explained a little more of the story, trying to piece it together. He gave her hand a tight squeeze as she let go, smiling sweetly at her. I'll let it go for now... hopefully she will tell me more when she is ready... when we can have more privacy.
"Alright," he nodded at her suggestion, then turned back to the elk. Fortunately it was almost finished, and it was only moments until the meat was ready to take inside. Kaven stood up and stretched, eyeing the elk. "So do we take all this inside?" He began picking it up, awaiting Zurna's instructions.
"Yeah," she muttered, eying the meat critically. "All of it. If you don't mind carting it all back and forth, I can take care of Equi for you. He probably could use a good rubdown from all that snow he had to trudge through, poor thing. When we're done we can meet in the main tent and get warmed up. There aren't many other chores left to do for me since I today is my day to hunt."
Zurna gave Kaven a real smile before going about cleaning up the supplies and equipment. "You just handle the food, I will take care of the rest." She hoped she was not asking too much of him.
'I have already made him do so much and go through so much because of me. It feels unfair to ask more of him. He did say he wanted to help but still, I shouldn't be overly cruel about it. You expect no more of him than you would expect of yourself. How is that unfair? He is not used to it. If he wants to be with you then he will have to get used to it. He doesn't want to be with me like that. He hardly knows me. Kaven is only helping me because it is his nature, not because it's personal. He said he hates seeing people he cares about suffer. That doesn't mean he meant me. What if he did? Doesn't matter. He didn't mean it.'
"Yes, I can do that, it won't be a problem." Kaven nodded cheerfully and began gathering the meat, ready to take it in. "Are you sure you don't mind dealing with Equi? I can take care of him afterwards, if you'd prefer." He looked at Zurna questioningly, feeling bad that she would have to take care of his pony. "The silly creature's so demanding with his rubs, you'll probably be there all day," he smiled affectionately, there being no malice in his statement.
Right on cue, a snort came from outside the tent, where they had left Equi, and his sweet, questioning face pushed itself inside. Seeing them finishing up, the pony pawed at the ground, impatiently, and Kaven laughed again.
"He's all yours if you want, though." Now carrying all that he could in one journey, he prepared to leave, just waiting for Zurna's confirmation.
"No worries. I'm sure I can appease the big scary warhorse," she teased patting the pony on the nose on her way out. Leading him into the animal tent, Zurna made sure to bestow many sweet kisses on Equi's neck. "Good boy. Good boy."
Quick hands nimbly got the horse out of his harnesses and were soon running brushes up and down his coat. "Now doesn't that feel better." Zurna spent more time than she probably had to caring for the horse. Part of her just enjoyed the simplicity of the action while the other part was trying to avoid facing Kaven and her family again.
But, after Equi's coat shone, he had had more sugar cubes than was probably good for him, and enough thick blankets to last the night comfortably, Zurna could no longer delay the inevitable. She had to leave and return to keep her guest entertained. 'I wonder what I can do to keep him distracted. It won't be long before the rest of the family start asking questions. I don't think I could deal with that today. Oh Kaven, what am I going to do with you?' she pondered as she entered the family tent once more.
Kaven had made quick work of delivering the meat to the family's tent, his strong arms meaning that he only had to make a few journeys to collect it all. Soon, he had sorted it and stored it, and the smoke tent was cleared of all the debris that came along with a kill. He had managed to avoid being accosted by too many of Zurna's family members - he assumed they were all out, busy with their own chores and jobs today - so he had exchanged only pleasantries with the ones that he did meet on his travels back and forth.
As he worked, his mind had never been far from Zurna, particularly as he always found it hard to relax when someone else had charge of Equi. Not that there was any danger - he completely trusted Zurna with the animal, and the pony himself was very unlikely to inflict any damage. It was just strange, to know that someone else was handling the creature that was so much a part of his own soul. The rest of the time, his thoughts of Zurna brought an easy, affectionate smile to his face - and a blush as he remembered their kiss, that seemed so long ago.
The family tent was empty now, and he had situated himself by the fire, head bent over a long scroll. He was writing a letter.
Dearest Sisi,
It has been so long since I have written. I'm sorry! I'm sure you are furious with me and have vowed never to speak to me again. But I hope you forgive me when you hear all that I have to tell you...
The letter was barely started, but it was already consuming all his attention. He didn't even notice when Zurna entered.
She paused just inside the doorway, silently watching Kaven work. 'He really is quite handsome. I wonder what he is thinking that makes him smile like that?' Unbeknownst to her the very same affectionate smile she was admiring, lit up her own features.
Quietly, Zurna lifted up one of the oil lamps and lit it before bringing it over to rest next Kaven's knee. Her fingers reached up and brushed back a lock of hair that fell in front of his eyes before she made to sit down. She positioned herself a bit behind him, her chin moving to rest on his shoulder.
Her eyes scanned the parchement that he was working on so intently. None of the dark curls and points made any sense to her. 'I wonder if he would think less of me for being illiterate? At least he would never have to be worried about me spying on his mail.'
The crackling fire and the sound of their breathing brought a peaceful sense of calm to Zurna. "It's beautiful," she whispered. One hand came up under Kaven's own to touch the paper, brushing along his waist as it ascended. She let it drop back down, her arm coming to wrap loosely around Kaven's middle. 'I like this feeling, this silence, this closeness. It's nice.'
Kaven had become aware of Zurna when she picked up the lamp, but remained still, curious as to what she would do. An easy smile settled on his lips as she settled herself next to him, his skin tingling where she brushed against it. Moving slowly, deliberately, he placed his pen down, reaching to clasp her hand as she moved it to his waist.
"The writing? It does look nice," he agreed, scanning a critical eye over his paper. "When you can read, though, it's impossible to see it without automatically reading the words... sometimes I wish I couldn't, just so that I could still see the beauty in the thing, he said thoughtfully and smiled, appreciating her perspective.
Dropping quiet he placed the paper in his lap and closed his eyes, leaning his head backwards to rest on her shoulder, cheek to cheek with her. Content, he turned ever so slightly to kiss her cheek, lips lingering against her skin.
Zurna giggled softy, relishing in the warmth of his hand on her own. "I could always just make a bunch of squiggles for you becasue that is pretty much what it looks like to me. Then you wouldn't be able to read it and could admire it."
A warm blush spread across her cheeks when he kissed her. 'Maybe he does like me. He just wants into your furs. Maybe I want into his,' her mind parried back, eyes lighting up with mischief.
Her other arm came to wrap around him as she pressed her body closer to his back. 'He smells good,' she thought nuzzling her face against his. 'Like freshly cut trees and sun baked earth. He makes me think of a warm sun and open fields, of wind and sky, of flying. Oh Kaven, to see the things you have seen, to know the things you know would be my dream.'
She gave him a tight squeeze, shyly pressing a light kiss to his shoulder. 'One day I will get to see all the things I dream of seeing. But, maybe. Maybe you will get to be the one that takes me Kaven. Would you really do that? Would you show me the world and stand by my side? Would you show me the sea and kiss me on the shore? Dance with me under moonlight skies? Hold my hand tell me you love me? He doesn't like you like that,' silenced her heart's soaring.
'Yeah. I forgot. No getting false hopes, Z. You are not going anywhere, at least not with him. Don't take the first chance you get to be free. Know what you are doing before plunging in. What he left you? What if he just lured you away and abandoned you far from home and family? He wouldn't! Would he?' Unconsciously, Zurna shivered slightly and clung tighter to Kaven.
"Maybe you should." He crossed his arms over hers, eyes soft as he watched the emotions play over her face. "I would put it into my folder of letters, and treasure it forever as befits a gift from my lady," he spoke grandly, but there was laughter in his voice. He might have been playing up the formality of the situation, but there was no doubt that he would in fact treasure any little thing that Zurna gave him.
It might end up being the only memento I have of her, if I leave here... when I leave here. He felt a little sad as he corrected himself, realising that he could not stay here in Hyoite forever. Soon I will be a drain on their family, no matter how generous they are to me. And I will have to leave this tent, this family... and her. I've never felt like this at the prospect of leaving somewhere before, except home. I wonder if she would travel with me? He found himself considering the suggestion he had made earlier, weighing up the chances.
She seems so fascinated by the world out there... but no. She loves her family so, and this is her home. Besides, she barely knows me. She doesn't know what is truly in my soul - who could blame her if she didn't trust me? Just a wandering loner, with his pony. She loves my stories from home, though... maybe I could tell the stories and help her to trust me at the same time... And an idea was born in his mind.
She shivered then, and he was recalled to the present. "Come closer to the fire," he suggested, misunderstanding her shudder, and twisted round, pulling her over onto his lap. Tucking her close to him, he reached up to stroke her hair, allowing himself to be distracted from his plan. Later...
Her breath latched in her throat when he effortlessly picked her up and manuevered her into his lap. The feeling of his warmth completely enshrouding her, made Zurna shudder again and snuggle closer into him. Each carress of his fingers through her long hair sent pleasure-filled tingles up and down her spine.
"Kaven," she whispered raising her chin up so that her eyes could meet his. Her mouth opened but then closed. Instead she gave him a soft smile. "Thank you." Inside she was berating herself for not having the courage to ask him for a kiss. But, her mind was quick to remind her of how easily her heart could be hurt and broken. 'Best to keep it safe.'
What Zurna did not see was the tent flap as someone silently entered. Minali smiled to see her only daughter curled up in the arms of the foreigner. 'He is good for her. He truly seems to care. Now if she could only move out of her own way and let it be!' She walked over to the fire, making some noise to alert the lovebirds of her prescence. "Dears, would you two mind putting the food on the fire? I promised the twins I would go into town to get some supplies. I will not be back until tonight."
"You're welcome," he had grinned to see her mouth open and close, guessing at what (he hoped) she had been about to say. After his earlier indiscretion however, Kaven chose to let her come to him, and merely kissed the tip of her nose. His hands went from stroking her hair to gently playing with it, letting the long strands fall through his fingers as he watched it shine in the firelight.
Minali's entrance startled him, but he subdued the natural flinch in an attempt not to dislodge Zurna. He reddened as he looked up at her mother, feeling 'caught in the act', even though they were doing nothing untoward. "Erm... of course," he stammered slightly as he answered, his mind taking a moment to process what she had said. Does that mean we will be alone?... he couldn't help the thought from flashing into his mind as he nodded to Minali, more confident now. "We will make sure it is done."
A moment later he turned to Zurna, eyes dancing. His questions however, were determinedly casual. "I didn't know there was a town near by. Is it far?"
"Town? Oh, Hyoite. There is a small village that is mostly sedentary. Most of us this far north are nomads. But, there are a fair few who take residence in Hyoite. It's about," her nose and brow crinkled as she thought about the distance. "I would say it is about a half day's jouney there and back. But, mother walks slower and has the girls. It is an entire day's travel for her. In fact she probably won't be back until late tonight."
Zurna grumbled and whined under her breath about having to cook. "We better get it started or there is going to be no dinner tonight. Believe you me, you don't want to see twenty-five hungry males with nothing to eat. It isn't a pretty sight."
She stood up slowly, not wanting to get up at all. Still muttering darkly, Zurna dragged out a heavy pot and began to visciously throw cuts of meat into it. 'Stupid mother. Stupid dinner. Stupid Kaven and his stupid kissy lips!' The pot gave another resounding ring as she threw another piece of meat in.
"So Kaven, what would you like to do now that the chores are, nearly, done? You came to see my lands and were instead put to work," she laughed. "I don't think you have gotten much time to really enjoy yourself."
"Interesting, I didn't realise there was a settlement so close. I'd heard there was one, but no one down south could tell me where it was," Kaven remarked, curious. "I suppose they would have been able to in Connlaoth." He spoke with a tiny hint of bitterness then, remembering undigified treatment he'd had when trying to cross Connlaoth. But of course, any kind of magic - even the simple, barely-magical kind that he had, was seen as evil there.
As Zurna stood up he tugged slightly at her hand, wishing he could hold her back, then rose himself. "I would imagine not," he laughed and joined in with the preparations, watching her with amusement.
"Any time spent with you is enjoyable," he replied sweetly, batting his eyelashes at Zurna. "Even when you try to work me to the bone." He took a step closer to her then, his tone becoming more serious. "But if we are going to be alone for a while... I have an idea." He looked at her a little nervously, waiting for her reaction.
She rolled her eyes at his antics. "You say that now. Give it a few more months and you'll be singing a different tune." A delighted smile took over her features as Zurna through in the last bit of meat and began adding some other herbs and spices.
'An idea since we're alone? Oh Ansgar, he wouldn't! Would he? Does he mean to...do that? Wait a second.' Her mind finally registered his serious tone, his nervous expression, the tension that seemed to permeate between them. 'Well maybe I jumped to conclusions there. But, what could he possibly wan-no! I can't, don't ask me Kaven. I can't talk about it; I'm not ready. Please don't bring that up. Oh, I don't know which is worse, thinking he wants to be with me or thinking he wants to talk about me!'
"Blastich!" Her hands slipped, dumping in more salt than she intended. As Zurna continued to grumble about the unfairness of it all, her mind chastized her for fearful attitude. 'You haven't even given him a chance to tell you what his idea is. You could be completely offtopic here. Give the man a chance! But, what if I'm right? I can't do this! You promised him you would talk later. It's later now. But, I-I can't. You can. To say otherwise is to already admit defeat.'
Refusing to look at him, she licked her lips nervously. Zurna gave a shaky smile as she turned her back on him, pretending to search for some ingredient. Her eyes never even focused on the packs of things resting before her. "What kind of idea? More snowfights?" The tone she used was playfully but sounded a bit flat even to her own ears.
Kaven didn't speak whilst Zurna was running through her internal monologue. He was quiet, pre-occupied with his own nerves and by the waves of emotions that he was receiving from her. Why is she so scared? Surely she hasn't guessed what I'm going to suggest... or has she, and she thinks it's a terrible idea. It IS a terrible idea. I'm just being arrogant, thinking that she would even be interested in such a thing. But then why would she be scared, exactly? Repulsed, maybe, but not terrified. I'm the one that should be scared.
His mind was running at a mile a minute as she turned away from him, and he finally gathered up the courage to speak. "No, nothing like that, although it was fun." His voice wavered. "I want to make something up to you."
He turned away himself then, gripping the sides of the cooking pot and staring down at the food within in. He took a breath, and tried to work out how to explain. "Yesterday, I committed a terrible offence by entering your consciousness and seeing your dream. From that I took some understanding of your past, and your present, and your soul." He was speaking formally, as was his habit when nervous. "I should never have done it, and I know it damaged your trust in me. If you had any in the first place. But I want you to trust me, and I want to address the imbalance I caused."
His voice grew stronger now as he got into the facts of his idea. "There is a way that I can show you my inner self. You can share in my consciousness, see some of the world through my memories, and understand my heart. You can refuse if you'd like - I know it's a big thing. But I want to share myself with you and show you my true intentions." He had the sinking feeling that he wasn't explaining this very well - and it sounded like a worse and worse idea as he went on.
"Make it up to me?" She asked softly, turning back to face him. Zurna came to stand opposite of Kaven, the pot between them. 'Where is he going with this? He wants me to trust him? He wants to share that, with me? But, that's his soul. Isn't that supposed to be private? I can't do that. He wants to share that with me though. What do I do?'
Zurna reached out and placed her own hands over top of Kaven's along the lip of the pot. "Kaven, there is no imbalance, no damage that needs repairing. What you offer me is unthinkable for one such as I. What you ask to give me is too much of a sacrifice on your part. I do not want you to have to do that. I do trust you. I just don't know much about you and am understandably wary."
Her hands squeezed his, refusing to let go. "I am honored that you would desire such a thing. While I find the proposition intriguing, I am afraid I cannot ask you to open yourself up like that to me. It isn't fair to you when you know so little about me, I could hurt you. I don't want that to happen. I like you too much to let that happen."
A sad smile quivered at her lips, making it hard to appear happy with her choice. 'I'm sorry Kaven. I would love to but, I'm afraid of myself. I can't bring my own demons into your sacred space. I can scar you like that. You saw but of a glimpse of my pain, what would you see if I were to do this?'
Disappointment shrouded Kaven's face as Zurna turned him down. I knew it, it was a ridiculous idea. Why would she want to do such a thing? Was it arrogant of me to think that she would find it interesting, and helpful. No... she would find it those things. She has even just said so herself... so then why is she rejecting the idea?
He held onto her hands tightly as he ran through these thoughts, and resolved to try one more time. "You wouldn't be able to hurt me. The connection would be one-way only - I would see no more of your secrets or your emotions - but I could show you my world."
He smiled weakly. "I have met your family, and seen your home. And yet, mine remains a mystery to you. You can't argue that that is an imbalance! Let me show you my family... show you the forests of my home. Maybe I can show you a dragon." He smiled properly at this last suggestion, remembering with fondness how excited she had been to learn to learn about the creatures.
"It would be safe, and controlled - and hopefully, interesting for you."
She worried her lip between her teeth as she listened to Kaven's explanations and reassurances. "You are positive about this?" Zurna asked hesitantly. "I mean it Kaven. I don't want you getting hurt. We can build trust and friendship just through talking. We don't need to do this. But," she bit her lip harder, looking down into the pot, "if you are sure, I would like to try."
Her expression could not hide her embarrassment and her worry. 'Please don't let this be a mistake. Please Manaia don't let him be hurt by me and my own selfish desires. I wonder what it is like. A dragon? Forests? How I have dreamed of seeing such things! This may be the only chance I ever get. Please don't let this become a regret. That is all I ask, not another regret.'
Surer now, Zurna nodded her head. "Yes. Let us try." She gave his hands another firm squeeze before letting go to take the pot up and put it over the fire. "Is there anything I need to do to help with this?" she asked nervously.
He smiled, relieved that his reassurances had won her over. "I'm sure. It's safe. And I'd like to share this part of me with you... plus, it will make me feel a little better, no matter how much you protest that I don't need to." His heart was beating fast as he looked towards the experiment, hoping that it would work, hoping that Zurna would find it a good experience, and a little nervous in case it all went wrong.
Relax. You have done this before - maybe not where the results are so important, but you have. And it has never gone wrong. Just make sure you don't show her a terribly embarassing memory.
He stepped away from the pot as Zurna lifted it, and beckoned her back towards where they had been sitting before. "No. We just need physical contact - it can be as simple as holding one hand, or as much as you are comfortable with. And you need to try and relax... and after that, I will just guide us through it."
Zurna nodded her head slowly and began to make her way back over to Kaven. Still trying to remain smiling despite her nervousness, she let her body fold down into a cross-legged seated position. Her fingers toyed apprehensively with the end of her tunic and one knee bounced with jitters. Gulping quietly, she ran her sweaty palms on her pants and reached out her left hand towards Kaven, the elbow resting on her thigh.
"I trust you," she told him, moss colored eyes staring deeply back at him. Zurna forced herself to take a deep, calming breath before nodding her head. "I'm ready." A real smile graced her face as the excitement of what they were about to do outweighed her fears of it going all wrong.
"Great," Kaven smiled warmly and took her hands in both of his, holding it tight. "Close your eyes," he murmured softly, letting his own close of their own volition. As his breathing and heart-rate slowed, his awoke on another level of consciousness, the level of emotion and memory, feeling and dreaming. His connection with Zurna glowed bright as a thread of gold, and he tugged at it gently, pulling her own mind down to this level. He kept up the pulling until he could feel that she was in the same place, and knew that she would be experiencing what he was. Here goes... he thought, and let himself slip into a montage of memories.
The image of a forest swam into view, sharpening and becoming clearer. There was a small clearing, beautiful and serene, filled with wildflowers. An overwhelming sense of peace accompanied the scene, as the viewer, a long ago Kaven, looked up to show a deep blue sky, interspersed with fluffy white clouds. Turning back into the forest, golden light filtered through the trees to light up the path below, criss-crossed with human and animal tracks. A chubby rabbit scampered across the path, and the vision changed...
The viewer was standing in the middle of a small village, the houses comprised of small but sturdy wooden huts. Children were sat on the verges of a dust road, playing marbles and dress up games with their friends. Elderly couples sat on the steps of their huts, chatting the day away.
Inside one of the huts now, it was dim and homely. The feeling was one of comfort, and childish happiness. Inside the hut were a couple, looking with love towards the viewer. The woman was beautiful, but with eyes that betrayed a pain felt long ago. The man's arm was strong around her, protecting her, and they both held out a hand to meet Kaven's. This scene was overlayed by a powerful feeling of love, so strong it was almost visible. This love continued as the couple's faces blurred out, and changed to another forest scene, this time dominated by a young, beautiful woman. She looked around fifteen, joyous and laughing as she threw a ball up into the air. Her dark hair gleamed in the sun and fanned out around her as she span towards Kaven, running to hug him.
Then the scenes began to change more rapidly. Another beautiful woman, this time blonde, inspired a jerking feeling of pain as her face changed from love to anger. The younger woman's face again, smiling through tears as she hugged a young pony, all tacked up for its first journey. The older couple, sad but understanding, clinging to each other as they waved. And the sister, walking alongside as long as she was able, face animated with as much excitement as sorrow, pushing pens and paper into his hand.
Still faster, images flicked by. A dairy farm, full of cows looking on as this inexperienced boy tried to herd them. A mountain passage in the sun, following a bubbling stream. A tiny fairy, flitting through the night in a glow of pink. And a dragon, standing tall and majestic on it's hind legs, wings outstreched as it breathed flames into the air.
Another dragon, smaller and friendlier, beneath Kaven as it flew him through the air. A joyous, swooping sensation, made the wind almost tangible even in memory, and the towns and fields could be seen far below. Then a dock, filled with ships. A tavern, overflowing with beer and confusion. A rough, uncomfortable ride in a wagon. Handcuffs. An argument with a soldier. More mountains, cold this time. Snow, ice, getting thicker and thicker as the memories flashed by. Then Zurna.
She was unmistakable, shown from the moment she first found him in the snow, to their midnight discussion, the playfight in the snow. The same feeling that had accompanied his family came here, but fainter, more cautious. A warm glow associated with friendship, and that growing, hopeful, giddying something more. A shot of her kissing Equi, and the memories faded out.
As the scene faded out, Kaven held his mind at that level, gently severing the tie with Zurna. He was careful to break the connection slowly, knowing that she wouldn't be used to the feeling. Assured that she would be safe, he let himself swim up through the levels of consciousness, feeling as though he was waking from a long dream.
As directed, Zurna closed her eyes and allowed herself to be drawn down into Kaven's consciousness. The entire process was incredible for her. She saw and felt things as if they were her own memories, her own experiences, her own emotions.
He showed her a real forest with trees that seemed to go up and up forever to touch the sky. It was a sight she had always dreamed of seeing. The colors, the scents, the warmth she felt was so peaceful and soothing. It was so different from everything she had known.
From there he shared with her his village, his travels, and his adventures. But, what really touched her was the amount of emotion that the images displayed. 'The love for his family is so heart-warming. Is that what it would feel like if he saw my family through my eyes? Warmth and love, a sense of home, it is so beautiful.'
Her heart beat excitedly within her chest at all the different new sights. They were all things she had dreamed of but, never believed she would ever get the chance to see. 'Cows! her mind bubbled happily. 'He remembered. Aww, look at the fairy. She's so tiny! Wow! Dragons! He never said he saw two of them! They are better than I ever imagined. Although, I don't think I could be brave enough to fly like him.'
The images played faster and faster for Zurna. Some she recognized from stories and others she just tried to remember so that she could ask Kaven later. But, admist the beautiful things he showed her there were also some confusing images. 'He was arrested? What did he do? Was is just a misunderstanding or was it horrible? Should I be concerned? Stop it, Z! He is showing you his heart. How can a man be if this is what you find inside?'
When they at last neared the end Zurna was shocked to find herself appearing in his memories. 'Is that how I really look?' A sense of surprise and a bit of self-conscious disappointment filled her being. 'His fiance was so much prettier than me. How could I hope to compete? But, what is this feeling he gets around me? Why does it feel so familiar to me personally?'
Zurna did not get to ponder it long before the memories came to an end and she felt her mind drifting back like a tiny boat on a calm sea. For a few moments she just sat there, enjoying the silence with shuttered eyes. She felt so peaceful and calm. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked at Kaven. "Thank you." Her voice sounded like a light breeze upon grass, soft and and full of awe. "That was incredible. I cannot thank you enough."
She gave him a shy smile. Then, quickly before he could react, she leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek. Her eyes seemed to glow with supressed joy and excitement and her cheeks returned to the red, warm state they always seemed to turn when she was around him. "Thank you."
Kaven had sat for several minutes with his eyes closed, letting his breathing and pulse return to normal. He felt shaky, but not as drained as he did after entering someone else's conscious - letting them into his took much less mental effort. Seeing all of his life - or, a lot of it - flash before his eyes was both exhilarating and frightening. He was glad that the most negative memories hadn't surfaced - those of ugly fights and heartbreak, of long nights spent in the inn as he tried to heal. He didn't know why... maybe it was the peace and happiness that he felt in Zurna's presence, that brought happy memories to the forefront.
He opened his eyes as Zurna spoke, feeling a rush of warmth as she thanked him. "You're wel-" his reply was cut short as she leaned forward to kiss him, bringing a flush of red across his cheeks. "Erm... you're welcome." He tried again, unable to stop a grin spreading across his face.
"Did you enjoy that? Or is enjoy not the right word?" he laughed. "I hope you found it... interesting? And - if there's anything you want to ask me, you can." He knew from experience the curiosity that came along with seeing another's memories.
"Enjoy it? That was incredible, Kaven! I have no words to explain it. That was unlike anything else I have experienced before. It was simply amazing. No, not even simply it was amazing!"
Zurna was beaming from ear to ear as she bounced excitedly where she was sitting. "Questions? I have a thousand of them it seems. Where do I even begin? I just don't know. Dragons and ]cows and fairies! Mountains and forests! Oh, Kaven it's unbelievable. The sights you have seen," she sighed clasping her hands to her chest.
She stopped suddenly, her brows furrowed in thought. "Those were cows weren't they, the big black and white animals that you showed me? And you didn't tell me you saw two dragons!" Zurna continued to chatter on, bouncing from topic to topic and sliding in questions when she thought of them.
At last she settled enough to take in breath. Smiling happily, Zurna flopped back onto the floor and giggled. Her chest heaved with the need for the air she had denied it in her gregarious enthusiasm. "It was just, wow. That's all I can say, Kaven. Wow!"
The young nomad fell silent, letting the bubbling of the pot and the crackling of the fire take over for her. 'Should I ask him though? He showed me such wonderful things, how can I pry? But, he showed you those things too. He didn't have to. There has to be a reason. But, should I?' Nervously she bit her lip again. "Kaven," Zurna queried hesitantly. "Did you mean to show me everything I saw?"
Kaven's face mirrored Zurna as he grinned, thrilled that she was so excited about the experience. He laughed to watch her bounce. "Well, you can ask about each memory individually, if you want," he shrugged and laughed again, on a high from sharing his memories in such a positive way. "Although some of them might have been a bit boring to you."
He paused as she did, waiting to see what she'd say. "Yep, cows. I told you they were strange creatures - they did not like me milking them! And I saw more dragons than that - but mostly from a distance. Those were the two that I got up close to though... one with more success than the other," he smiled, remembering the anti-social dragon spitting fire into the air. As she lay down, he shifted slightly to be closer to her, not wanting to leave her side just yet.
As Zurna fell quiet, Kaven felt a slight sense of unease, wondering if something was wrong. He watched her carefully, trying to read her expression. Then she spoke, and he bit his lip. She must mean Anwyn. Perhaps I shouldn't have shown her to her. But... she knew about her - and anyway, why would she care? Wait... And as he was quiet, trying to understand her question, one of the memories flashed back to him. The one of his sore, bloodied wrists in handcuffs. Ah. Could she mean... that? His eyes widened at the possibility. No. It's the Anwyn thing. Isn't it?
He swallowed and looked down to meet her eyes. "Yes. Well I didn't exactly consciously choose all the memories that I showed you. But they were all things that I want you to know about. I don't want to have any secrets from you." He took a breath and reached out to take her hand. "Is there a reason you're asking?"
Shyly she took his hand and gently pulled Kaven to lay beside her. Zurna had not liked the difference in height that came from him leaning over her recumbent form. The topic she wished to broach could become a very touchy one. She did not want to make either of them feel cornered, him by her watching him, and herself by his hovering.
"Some of what you showed me seemed very personal. Your love for your family, your sister, your fiance, those are all very beautiful things. But, you also shared with me some more difficult things that occurred on your travels. I just wondered if you meant to. Human nature dictates that we keep our hearts and our secrets to ourselves. You have trusted me without knowing me. That is probably the greatest gift I have ever been given. I'm just surprised, I guess. You did not have to do any of that. Yet, you did, and for that I am grateful. Thank you."
Her smile was soft and barely there. She kept her gaze raised to the ceiling as she tried to continue. Courage or perhaps idiocy drove her to do so. "If you do not mind my asking, what happened between you and the soldier? Did you have an altercation? Is that why you were arrested, or did something else happen?" Zurna felt very insecure about asking him, especially after all the beautiful things he had shared with her. But, she had to know. Her curiosity demanded answers.
Kaven let himself be pulled down, and lay on his stomach beside Zurna. He propped himself up on his arms, listening as she spoke. He considered what she was saying quietly, unsure where she was going, but smiled as she finished. "I did trust you, because I know I can. Don't ask me to justify that, because I can't, exactly," he smiled. "But I do know, and I think I'm right."
He stiffened as she moved on. So he had been right - she wanted to know about the arrest. He felt a tightening in his stomach - a nervousness, with no real cause. Why am I worrying? It's not like I did something bad... but it still might change her opinion of me... He took a deep breath before starting to answer. His voice was low but steady, driving the story on. He wanted to get it all out in one go.
"It happened a few months before I arrived here. I don't know how much you know about it, but Connlaoth hates magic. It hates anyone with the capacity to perform magic, whether they do or not, whether they use it for good or not. If you classify as a magic-user to them, you can be executed without a trial. I didn't realise it, but evidently I classify." He swallowed, then continued, speaking faster and faster. "I was travelling, the same as I had been for a year and a half. I was headed north, and the only way is to go through Connlaoth. I didn't know what would happen. I'd barely been in the country for a week before I was intercepted. I don't know how they knew what I was - maybe they have trackers, or sensors. All I know is that I woke up in handcuffs, with Equi hobbled. He was put into custody, and I was thrown in jail."
He slowed down a little. "It took me the better part of a month to argue my way out. I had no way to post bail, so I had to convince them that I wasn't dangerous, that all I wanted was to cross Connlaoth. I couldn't show them what I do, to try and convince them - I would have been killed, so I just had to persuade, and beg, and argue. Eventually, I was freed, on the condition that I succumb to being transported directly out of the country, with a soldier entourage, guards, even on Equi. I had to wear the mark of a mage, and I stayed in handcuffs the whole time. Then they dropped me in the mountains, unbound me, and left us there."
He stopped abruptly, his last words hanging in the silence, the note of bitterness evident in his voice. He sighed heavily, and looked straight ahead, away from Zurna. "I didn't mean to break their laws. I'm not even sure I did. I certainly meant no harm... please believe me." The bitterness turned to faint pleading.
Through the whole story Zurna kept still and silent. She did not want to give reason to make Kaven stop. When at last he finished, she rolled over and placed her arm over his shoulder. Her cheek came to rest on his closest shoulder blade as she hugged him close. "Thank you for sharing that as well," she voiced quietly.
"You must have been so scared." Zurna shook her head, rubbing her hand soothingly across his back. "Sonya is the same way. She holds those very same beliefs even though her own people drove her away. It is not something I agree with though. You did nothing wrong; I am sure of that. Your heart is too good to be able to do such a thing."
She hummed contently, snuggling against him. "Enough dreary talk. I think we have had enough sadness and regrets for several years at least! Don't you think?" Feeling a bit bold now, Zurna lifted her face enough to press her lips against his shoulder before resting back down again. 'Not so bad after all. Not so bad indeed.'
Feeling the warm weight of her arm over him, Kaven's spirits rose. She isn't repulsed by the story... she doesn't think the less of me. Or if she does, she's doing a good job of hiding it! He laughed to himself and turned a little towards her, smiling lazily as she rubbed his back. "It was frightening... I was so scared that they were going to hurt Equi, or take him away from me," he admitted, rolling his eyes a little at himself. "I was a little afraid that they might behead me, as well... I have to admit that."
He wriggled away from her slightly and turned onto his back. "You're right," he agreed, catching hold of her hands and pulling her back down beside him. "Too much sadness... maybe we should do something to cheer ourselves up." He grinned and lowered his head, reaching down to touch his lips to hers, ever so softly.
"Poor Equi," she bemoaned as well. Kaven's turning had her pulling away though. But, she was more than happy to be pulled back down to him. 'He isn't rejecting me. He wants me close. Wait, what?'
"Cheer up?" Zurna did not get a chance to clarify that before his lips were brushing sweetly against her own. 'He is kissing me. He's kissing me! Oh Manaia, I'm being kissed! Again! Oh, I hope I'm doing this right. What if Kaven doesn't like my kissing? Well this is his second time kissing you, he has to like it. Right? How can he enjoy this? I'm just laying here like a dead fish! Oh, what do I do, what do I do?'
Despite her mind's rapidly growing fears, Zurna was very much enjoying this gently kiss. Her arms of their own accord slowly moved up to encircle Kaven's shoulders. Beautiful doe eyes closed and long lashes brushed her cheeks. Her beat wildly within her chest, but she would not change a thing. It was perfect.
Ohh... this is better. She's not pushing me away or freaking out... that I can see anyway. She's actually letting me kiss her! And I think she might even be enjoying it. Kaven felt his heart pounding as Zurna wrapped her arms around him. He reached down to her waist, his hands holding her gently. He could feel the pleasure coming in waves from her, and knew he was countering it with the powerful senstation of his own happiness. He felt as if his hair was standing up, electrified by the softness of their kiss, until he couldn't stand it any more.
He rose up, carefully letting Zurna down onto the floor so that their positions were reversed, and deepened their kiss. He reached for her hand, holding it tightly as he kissed her firmly, passionately. Wait. Remember where you are. His eyes flickered open to see Zurna and he broke the kiss, pulling away ever so slightly.
"Are you alright?" he was breathless, wanting only to kiss her again, but concerned. Don't push too much, too soon, Kaven.
Much needed air flooded her lungs all at once, forcing Zurna to gasp like a fish out of water when Kaven pulled away from her. What had begun as such a gentle kiss and quickly escalated into something far more intimate. It both excited and scared her. Zurna was not used to such experiences. The fact that she had her first two kisses all in one day made her feel giddier than the time she was dared into drinking an entire cask of her family's strongest mead.
As both heart and breath began to slow to normal, she continued to just lay there, eyes closed and hand firmly locked with Kaven's. She was not going to be letting go if she could help it. The smile on her face only became all the larger when she opened her eyes and looked up this man that she was really starting to like.
Zurna tried to open her mouth to answer him but, only ended up giggling. The more she thought about the kisses the more she giggled. She had not felt so happy and free since she was a child, since before Ezra. The young woman could not stop the soft giggles though and ended up blushing to match the hearth. 'I think I might love you.'
He grinned to see Zurna's smile and kissed the tip of her nose quickly, as she started to giggle. Her laugh was infectious and Kaven found himself joining in, more amused to see her starting to blush. She's so sweet... and so beautiful. I wish we could just stay like this forever. If I never had to move from this spot, never had to stop kissing her, I'd be happy. He smiled to himself and put his finger to her lips to quell the giggles.
"You're beautiful, Zurna," he whispered. "You really are." He grinned again and reached to kiss her forehead.
"Thank you," she whispered back just as quietly. 'He likes me. He thinks I'm beautiful. He kisses me. I think I like him too. I wish-hush Z. Don't ruin the moment with wishes. Love him while he is here, forget him once he's gone. Must he leave? Give him a reason to stay.'
Zurna kissed the finger resting against her lips, before pulling it away to rest on her cheek. She nuzzled her face into his hand like a cat seeking love. Her throat gave off a contented hum and her eyes seemed to dance with the fire's light as she looked up at him. A callused hand raised to caress his jawline, before tangling in his thick hair while her other hand rested on his chest above his heart.
The pads of her fingers drew intricate designs over his heart as if she was writing in a tongue only she could read. Slowly the hand worked its way down, tracing chest and abdomen, finally coming to rest on his tunic's hem. Keeping her eyes trained on Kaven's, Zurna smiled impishly and began to slip her hand up under his tunic and pressed it against the smooth, warm flesh of his side.
Kaven was sure that her fingers would be able to feel his heart pounding, beating at hundreds of beats per minute. His breathing was shallow as Zurna's hand tangled in his hair, feeling her nails against his scalp, and he returned her gesture. One of his hands slipped up to her hairlines, brushing away a stray strand before entwining his fingers with her long hair.
Is she...? His eyebrows raised as he saw her smile, and felt the warmth of her skin directly against his. He could feel his skin turning to goose-bumps, quivering underneath her touch. He could feel his conscious thoughts blurring into desire. Emboldened by her forwardness, he let his other hand wander down to her chest, stroking firmly but gently through her tunic.
Her breath caught in her throat as Kaven began to reciprocate her touches. 'Oh Manaia, what am I thinking? His hand is on my chest. His HAND is on my CHEST!' Zurna could not help but flip her gaze back and forth between his hand and his face. She shivered at the sensations he was causing and wondered if she was going too far.
'You want him to stay. Give him a reason to. Right, I can do this.' Zurna brought her hand further up under his tunic allowing it to brush against his own chest albeit much lighter, like a wisp in the wind. She felt unsure of herself, not knowing what to do and not wanting to somehow displease Kaven. Gooseflesh broke out all over her skin and she began to worry her lip. Slowly, Zurna leaned up towards Kaven and initiated her first kiss, eyes once more directly focused on his.
It was so easy to melt into her touch, the butterfly strokes that sent electric through his skin. It would have been easier still to give up all control, and let desire rule his actions from here on out. But as their lips made contact once more, Kaven was shocked by the jolt of uncertainty he received from Zurna's mind, the confusion and anxiety that broke the surface of his own passion to gnaw at the doubts that lay behind.
He broke the kiss, with some reluctance, and looked down at her. "Are you... sure about this?" he breathed, trying to catch his breath. He looked at her with searching eyes, trying to understand her mind. His own eyes were concerned, but the desire was ill-concealed. "I... don't want to do anything you're not ready for." He moved his hand back up to her shoulder, one finger stretched to caress her neck.
"We can stop, if you'd like. I won't think any less of you."
'Oh no. I made him think I don't want this. Now if I say yes he won't believe me and if I say no he will be disappointed. I don't him thinking I'm leading him on. I wonder if he ever did this with his fiance. Am I the first one? Of course not, a handsome man like him is sure to have women all over him. I'm probably just a passing fancy, some exotic entity's pants he wants to get into. Well more like heathen than exotic. Let's be real with ourselves Z.'
Zurna refused to look at him as her hand slipped back out of his top. 'I am such a fool! What if my family walked in? What would they think of me? I am worse than Sonya on the warpath. I am a terrible daughter. But, is it really so wrong to want something for myself for once, to be selfish?'
She sighed and smiled weakly. 'I do like you Kaven. I hope I'm not wrong about you, or maybe that I am. Maybe I should hope that I am very, very wrong about you. I just don't know anymore. I just don't know,' she mused, bringing her arms to wrap loosely around his neck and pull herself up to snuggle awkwardly against his hovering chest.
Kaven's head was cocked to one side, watching the emotions play over Zurna's face in the aftermath of his questioning. What's she thinking? Did I push her too far? Maybe I got too carried away... this is all new to her after all... I should have held myself back and taken it more slowly. He reprimanded himself as she stayed silent and withdrew her hand. Repressing a sigh - not of annoyance but of acceptance, he let himself be pulled into her embrace. He stayed like that for a moment, then kissed her forehead and moved to the side to sit up, pulling her with him into his lap.
"I meant what I said." He held her close to him, tight against his chest. "Take as long as you need to be comfortable. I'll still be here... I'll wait as long as it takes." He kissed the top of her head, then paused and smiled. "That is, if you want me to."
Zurna allowed herself to be moved about and felt like a small child in the way he was comforting her. 'I am just a child. I am a spoiled scaredy-cat. I don't see what he likes about me. No matter what he says I know he just pities me, he must. There is no other explanation for it.'
She snuggled closer against him, burying her face in his shoulder. "That is kind of you Kaven. I'm sorry though, you shouldn't have to deal with such a-a-a," she stuttered trying to find the word, "a tease! You shouldn't have to wait for such a thing, especially when you have no way of knowing whether it will ever be yours. You can't wait forever Kaven. Winter is fast approaching. If you stay you will be snowed in; it'll be months before you can leave again. Surely you wouldn't want to be tied down like that."
'Just be still, Z! You are rambling and are sure to end up saying something you will regret. Let him make his own decisions. Don't drive him away! I can't make him stay if he doesn't want to. That doesn't mean you need to boot him in the ass the moment he pulls away. Not everything is a rejection!'
Stroking her hair, Kaven rested his cheek against her head gently. He laughed softly when she called herself a tease and leaned back to make eye contact.
"A tease?" he ran his thumb down the side of her face, following the line of her jaw. "Don't be silly... you're no such thing. Or if you are, I like being teased by you." He grinned and pulled her back in towards him.
"I can wait forever if you let me. And if I get snowed in, then it gives me all that time to try and seduce you," there was laughter in his voice - he didn't want to scare her - but his message was real. "I want to be with you - here, somewhere else, in the snow. Anywhere."
She rolled her eyes and smiled at his quip about being teased. 'You'll be singing a different tune. That I can assure you, Kaven. Your attitude won't last forever. Seduce me? I don't think I would survive such an experience. You're already slowly killing me, bit by bit now. But, he wants to be with me. I think he means it, really means it. Oh why do I keep flip-flopping like a fish out of water? One minute it's be with him and the next it's he doesn't want me for me. If I am driving myself insane, what am I doing to him? Poor Kaven.'
"Best be careful Mr. Damal. You would not like my brothers to hear of your wicked plans for me, would you? I don't think they would take too kindly to your intentions, even if I do," Zurna winked up to him. She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before settling back against him again. "Do you plan to stay through the winter? I don't think you will like it here. Besides your sister will miss you terribly. I would hate to be the cause of sibling pain. You could, always come back I guess."
A pained sigh nearly fell from her swollen lips before she caught it. 'If he leaves he would not come back. That would mean crossing the Connloath borders more than once. He will be lucky if he can cross them back home, let alone come back to me. Give it up Z. He is a man. Let him live his life. Quit worrying about what he will do. Is it wrong to worry when he is the one stealing my heart?'
"I... don't know," he admitted, confused. "If I left... I wouldn't be home for the winter. It would take me months of travelling to get back to La'marri. In all probability, I'd be in an inn in Serendipity... if I wasn't in a Connlaothian jail cell," he admitted, wincing. He wasn't in a rush to perform the return journey, even if it hadn't been for Zurna. The experience had been uncomfortable and degrading the first time - goodness knew what it would be like the second.
"And I... well I don't want to be apart from you." He sighed and wrapped his arms close around her. "I don't even know if you want me to be around..." he was hesitant. What was she trying to suggest to him, by trying to persuade him to leave? Does this mean she doesn't want me here? Is she just too polite to say it? He bit his lip and continued.
"I would love to leave here, and carry on my travels with you by my side. Or failing that, I would stay here through the winter. I mean it, I really do. Either of those are preferable to leaving here without you. But... if you don't want me to stay, then say so. I won't begrudge you for it." His voice was anxious, shaking slightly as he waited for her answer.
"I would like you to stay Kaven. It's just you talk about everything so romantically; I can't help but wonder how realistic everything is. You are more than welcome to stay, you would be no burden to my family, of that I am sure. However, Kaven this is the tundra, it only gets worst from this point forward. There is nothing beautiful or romantic about it. I mean you talk of doing these things or staying with me, you mention my dreams but how probable are they?"
Zurna turned in his lap to face him. Her hands came to rest on either shoulder as she looked him in the eye. "I would love to go and see the world. I want nothing more than that, except maybe to see it with you. However, I have my family here. I mean I'm sure they could get on without me but, could I get on without them?"
She let her hands drop and bowed her head, letting it bump against Kaven's chest. "I guess I'm just being silly. Eventually I will have to go off and have my own family. What difference does it make how far from home I am? I guess-I mean if you stayed," Zurna began to nervously fiddle with her hands, pulling on fingers and wringing them together, "we could get to know each other better and go from there?" The end came out more of a question than a statement. She wanted Kaven to stay yet was unsure of what could happen. Trapping him with her family and making him miserable were her biggest concerns.
He listened to her arguments and sighed as he saw the truth in them. "You're right. Maybe I'm forgetting that just because I left my home, that doesn't mean everybody wants to. It's the same in La'marri, you know. At least in my village, people almost never leave. They are born, they marry someone from a neighbouring village, and they die, never having left the forest. And they are happy with that." He stopped, unsure of where this stream of consciousness was going. "Maybe leaving was the wrong decision for me.. perhaps it would be for you. I'm sorry that I've been asking you to leave. It's wrong of me to try and persuade you to leave your family."
He sighed again, heavier this time, and rested his chin on the top of her head. "I'm sorry, Zurna. But I mean it when I say that I would stay here. I will. If you want me to. And we can get to know each other, and maybe you will fall for me, one day," he smiled wryly. "All I know is that I am happier here, since I have met you, than I have been in two years of travelling."
'Oh Kaven!' Zurna whipped her head up, accidentally catching the top of her head on his chin. She grimaced and cupped his face in her hands. "I'm sorry Kaven, I didn't mean to do that." It was hard to keep the giggles at bay as she rubbed her thumb soothingly along his jawline.
"I want you to stay for now. I don't want you to apologize for trying to give me the greatest gift anyone would have given me. You know I want to see all the lands beyond my homeland and you are willing to show me that. But, my fear gets in the way of it. Perhaps, I think some of that will dissipate once I know you better, once I know I won't end up alone and far from home. You shared something very wonderful with me, Kaven. I just want to make sure your efforts are not in vain. I don't want to hurt you and I don't want to be hurt."
She licked her lip nervously. "Can I-can I show you something. I want to-I want you to meet someone who means a lot to me." It was a long shot venture. Zurna was taking a leap of faith. She ready to share some things of her own with Kaven, if he was willing to accept them.
Kaven let his eyes close as Zurna stroked his jaw, thanking the gods that she still wanted to do such a thing - that this complicated conversation hadn't completely put her off him. He reached for her other hand, holding it tightly as she talked.
"I understand your concerns - really I do. I know that I would never hurt you, but I can't blame you for not knowing that - I could be anyone," he smiled. "I will stay, and I will dedicate the time to showing you that you can trust me. The winter will fly by," he grinned cheerfully, pleased with this plan.
"I - what? Who?" He sobered up, looking curiously at Zurna. She wanted him to meet someone? He thought he'd met most of the family by now. "Alright...who are they? And where?" He pressed her hand gently. "Anyone that is important to you, I want to meet."
Zurna leaned up and gave Kaven another chaste kiss on the lips before rising to her feet and pulling him with her. "Um well not too far away. But, it will require walking in the snow for a bit. I mean we can wait until later if you would rather not get cold again. I would completely understand."
She meant what she said but, Zurna would rather go now while she still felt emboldened with the courage that Kaven seemed to be instilling in her. 'I hope this is the right decision. He'll probably think it is so stupid. Oh what am I doing? This is not a smart idea. He is going to laugh at me, or worse he is going to think I'm insane. Well more insane than he already thinks I am because of my issues.'
"Alriight..." Kaven let himself be pulled up, curiosity in his voice. "I don't mind going now, wherever we're going." He stretched, letting go of the tension that had built up whilst they had been on the floor, watching Zurna all the time. Where are we going, and who am I meeting? why do we need to go into the snow to do it? ...I thought there weren't any settlements nearby.
He mulled over the possibilities whilst he pulled his furs back on, a little sigh forming in his mind at the idea of going back out into the snow. Especially when we could be curled up in front of that fire... there's a lot to be said for body heat. He amused himself with this thought for a moment, before catching up Zurna's hand and kissing the palm.
"I'm ready, my snowbound beauty. Lead the way."
She giggled knowingly before interlacing her fingers with his and pulling him to the exit. Zurna bit her lip and kept close to Kaven as they trudged through the snow. "We won't be out long. I know it's getting cold," she reassured him, letting go of his hand to slip it under his coat and around his waist.
"You did something really nice for me and I just want to share something special with you. This," Zurna gestured to down into a valley from the hill they were standing on, "is where I came when I used to feel upset or needed space. This place has special meaning to me though because of the different memories it holds."
The young woman winked at Kaven as she tugged him to run down the slope with her, laughing all the way. "One such memory happened right here where we are standing. This is where a little boy told me he was going to marry me." She laughed some more and kissed Kaven, hugging him close. "But, I like this memory with you much better."
Her features became more somber though as she led him about the valley, trying to bring stories to life when all one could see for miles was cold, white snow. Finally, she knelt down in the snow and began digging at it the wet clumps until a long flat stone was revealed. "While this place has some good memories, it also has some not so fond ones. Kaven I would like you to meet Ezra. Ezra, this is Kaven," she introduced, placing her hand on the rock as she looked up at her companion.
"It's beautiful," Kaven smiled as they looked around the valley, picturing a younger Zurna playing amongst the snow drifts. He let himself be tugged down the slope and laughed, tightening his arms around her as she kissed him. It was with a light groan that he let her pull away from him.
He followed then, and stood by until she had uncovered the rock, looking at it with some trepidation. Ezra...? It was only a moment though until he accepted this odd situation, and flashed a smile at Zurna. "I'm honoured," he murmured to her, before turning to the stone and clearing his throat.
"Ah... Ezra. It is an honour to meet you." He paused, unsure, then bowed slightly. "I consider it a great compliment that Zurna had decided to introduce me to you - to someone so important to her. I want to assure you that I care about her a great deal, and will do everything in my power to protect her from harm." The last words coming out in a rush, he straightened up and cleared his throat again, looking from the stone to Zurna.
Zurna smiled and tried to keep from chuckling at Kaven's formal greeting and declarations. "Ezra was my childhood my friend growing up. We did everything together and went everywhere together. He was older than me by a few years but, I could still beat him in scuffle nine times out of ten."
A look of pride crossed her face as she remembered dancing in the snow and playing boys chase the girls with Ezra and her brothers. She let her head fall forward to stare at her cold fingers. The snow was beginning to seep cold wet moisture into her pants and yet, she did nothing to change that. "You said you wanted to know about what happened, that I should tell Ezra's story. Are you still willing to listen, or should I find someone else to talk to Kaven?"
"I'll bet you could," he murmured, smiling over at Zurna. Yes, he could imagine her - younger, smaller, but just as spirited. He felt a pang of jealousy towards this Ezra, that he had got to see Zurna as she used to be, had been able to grow up with her, had laughed and played with her for so much longer than Kaven had - so far. And, that she clearly had such intensely fond memories of him.
"I will listen to as much as you are willing to tell me." He nodded resolutely. He wasn't afraid of hearing the story, but worried in case it proved too much for her. "Please. I'd be grateful to be allowed to hear it."
She nodded her head slowly and sighed. "Where to begin?" Zurna trailed her fingers back and forth through the snow, making patterns of all kinds of bizarre figures before smiting them out of existence again.
"Ezra was twelve when he died. We were playing right here in fact. Although, my home was much further south at the time. Together we raced down the hill as we always do pretended we were great explorers traveling on our way to the desert. I had just "discovered" a rare mystical beast when crunch," she clapped her hands and grimaced.
The memory of a little foot and broken eggs surfaced once more in her mind. "I stepped on a clutch of matukyuu eggs and destroyed them. I warned you before of our tundra beasts and the danger of facing one. This was no exception. They were upon us so fast, I barely remember it all. Ezra took my hand and was dragging me away as fast as he could run."
Zurna raised her head, revealing the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes. Yet, despite this her voice remained calm and steady. "By the time I had my own footing again, one of the pack had already ripped him from me and torn him to pieces. I can still hear his frightened child's voice screaming in my head. I remember rivers of blood on pure white snow and the feeling of wet heat splashing on my nose and eyelids. Why don't remember is slashing angrily at one of the beasts, injuring him badly. It all felt so detached, so unreal, so I did the only thing I could do, I ran."
Standing up, Zurna began to walk back up the hill still telling her story. "I ran and ran until my lungs were weeping at being made to draw in so much cold air and so quickly. I ran until my legs felt like a newborn foal's just learning to walk. I ran until I slipped and fell on a sheet of ice. I made it to there," she told him, pointing to a small lake in the distance. "It always seemed do much bigger to me back then."
A wry smile upturned her lips and remained there as she kept going. "A young pup had been in the hunting pack and he followed me out onto the ice. Our combined weight could not be sustained by the thin ice and with a crack we were submerged. I kicked up to the surface, gasping. But, something told me to go back, to get the pup, to save him, and I did. I dove back down and pulled him up. He skittered back off the ice and over to a large adult matukyuu, the alpha. This male glared at me and howled but, held his ground. I didn't know what to do. Another matukyuu broke ran and ran for me. I was terrified that I was going to die. I ran towards her, hoping to somehow evade her."
Zurna sighed, shrugging her shoulders weakly. "I tripped and fell. I managed to get myself back up against a rock, the same rock I would use as Ezra's grave-marker. I shut my eyes, said a final prayer, and waited to die. Instead I heard a pained squeal and felt the thump of a heavy body falling right in front of me. Opening my eyes revealed I had accidentally killed the charging beast. Only a handful of people have ever killed a matukyuu and been given the honor of wearing its pelt. Only one still lives today; I am that one."
The young nomad reached out for Kaven, silently, full of desperate hope. She could not go on and tell him the rest. It was too much to tell him about how Ezra played into her dreams and what had happened over the summer to start the nightmares to begin with. 'I hope this is enough. I hope he doesn't think poorly of me. I was such a foolish child. I didn't mean to get Ezra killed. I didn't mean to kill her too. Please don't think badly of me Kaven, not when I am beginning to love you too.' She choked out one more phrase that hid itself in a hysterical giggle. "The end."
Kaven was silent as Zurna told her story, staying by her side as she walked through the snow. As she talked he began to fit together the pieces of the story - what he had seen in her dreams was now starting to make sense, to have a history, to become real life to him. His heart was heavy as he listened, feeling the pain in Zurna's voice and seeing the tears in her eyes. The story was heart-wrenching - to think of such a young child in that situation would have affected anyone - and he was affected all the worse for knowing and loving Zurna.
As her tale came to an end, he stepped forwards into her arms, bringing her tight against him. He smiled wryly as she giggled and turned her head against his chest, one hand in its by-now accustomed position to stroke her hair. "Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me..." He wasn't sure what to say, certain that nothing could express the emotions that her story had inspired in him, or do her story justice. In fact, there was only really one thing that he could say, only one thing that would come naturally to his lips.
He closed his eyes against the white of the tundra, and dropped his cheek against her head, whispering into her hair. "I think I love you."
Zurna relished in the feeling of Kaven's arms encircling her and snuggled closer. She clung to him tightly, refusing to let him go if he tried to pull away. "Thank you for being willing enough to listen," she whispered back.
His soothing hand running through her head calmed whatever anxiety and sorrow was beginning to bubble up within her. 'Aww, he said he likes me. No, He said he thinks he loves me. I think I love you too, Kaven. That is, if one can know after only three days.'
She grumbled slightly, burying her head further into his chest. "Now if I say it back it will sound so stupid," she mumbled back into his chest. "Thank you Kaven. Thank you."
"I'll always listen." Kaven smiled softly and kissed the top of Zurna's head as she snuggled in closer. Well, she hasn't run away in horror yet, that has to be a good sign... doesn't it? Although I wish she'd answer.
His hopes were answered then, as she thanked him, and he let out a small sigh of relief, chuckling at her grumble. "Welll... you're welcome," he dropped his other hand down to her waist. Does that mean she feels the same way? I think so. I hope so anyway.
He placed one finger under her chin, raising her face towards him. Hands still tight on her waist, he reached down to kiss her, softly and sensuously.
She enjoyed the kiss while it lasted, reveling in the feel of his soft lips against her own. But, at last she was forced to pull away due to lack of air and extreme cold. The melted snow that had seeped through her pants was starting to really make its presence known as the winds began to pick up and blow harshly against the pair.
"We best get inside. It would not due for us to both get sick. If we are lucky, dinner may even be almost done by the time we get back." Zurna still kept close to Kaven, half-hugging him as she turned to head back home. 'I'm really starting to like his kisses. I would miss them the most if he left, I think. It's a good thing he has decided to stay the winter then.'
Her thoughts gave her pause, making her steps falter slightly. Turning she smiled warmly up at Kaven. Without warning she leaned up and gave him another kiss and another squeeze around the middle before moving on again. She could not help the giggles that kept escaping every time she thought about him and how much she was truly starting to love him.
Kaven was celebrating quietly in his mind as they returned to the tent. It had been a successful day in terms of his relationship with Zurna. He had kissed her - a lot, and been close to her - almost taken it further - and professed his developing love for her. And yet, despite such huge leaps, she was still here, at his side, arm wrapped around him as they walked. He grinned as she stopped to kiss him, quietly marvelling that she was doing so. "What're you giggling about?" he laughed good-naturedly, reaching over to ruffle her hair.
I never could have imagined that I'd feel like this again. After Anwyn, I thought I'd always be alone... never even falling for someone else, let alone seeing them fall for me. And yet, this is so real, and so wonderful. How have I been lucky enough to fall into this situation?
As they reached the main tent, he scanned round quickly to make sure it was still empty, and pulled Zurna into the dimness under the canvas. He eyed her up and down before bringing her back into his embrace. "You're all wet," he murmured, a mischeivous glint in his eye. "We'll have to get you out of those wet clothes."
Her head shook from side to side as she tried to keep him from ruffling her hair even as she laughed harder. "I'm laughing at your goofy face," she told him skipping on ahead. A playful squeal resounded across the empty tundra as Kaven bodily tugged her inside.
But, she did not stay in his embrace long. Zurna was not deaf to the mischievous tone he was using with her. "We? Oh no, you don't! You can wait out here like a good boy while I get changed. The last thing I need is my brothers coming home and seeing me naked with you in clear view of me. Besides, it's only day three, Kaven. We still have the rest of autumn and the entire winter to discover each other. Haven't you had enough excitement for one day?"
She was teasing but, her words had truth. Zurna did not think she could take anymore revelations or discoveries. Knowing that Kaven said he loved her and that she had not only her first kiss but, what seemed like her first hundred kisses was even to make her head spin. Their sharing of very personal things only served to make her desire a slower pace with things. Three days was far too fast, even on the tundra where rules and customs were few and far between.
"Don't worry, I'll be a gentleman." Kaven grinned cheerfully and dropped a kiss on Zurna's forehead as she talked. "Discover each other, I like the sound of that!" He gave an exaggerated wink and ducked out of the tent, taking care to drop the flap closed behind him. "Now get changed, before you catch your death," he called over his shoulder. Turning back to face the centre of the settlement, he crossed his arms and let an amused smile settle on to his face.
Today was turning out better than he ever could have expected. He wasn't perturbed by Zurna's protests, not having had any serious expectations. In truth - though he wouldn't admit it even to himself, let alone her - he was glad. Gods only knew how he would deal with a new physical relationship. An emotional one would be complicated enough...
He put it from his mind, for now. He was shivering by now, shifting from foot to foot in an attempt to keep warm. "Why is snow so cold? he asked irrationally, of no one in particular.
"Oh you swine!" she squealed, slapping him on the chest before letting him walk away. 'Discover each other indeed. This winter should be interesting to say the least.' Zurna quickly slipped out of her wet things and into a loser fitting tunic and pair of pants.
Throwing her wet clothes onto a apiece of twine to hang by the fire, she quietly made her way back to the tent entrance. Zurna could hear Kaven's mutterings and had to stifle back a soft giggle.
Sneaking up on him, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him back inside, tugging his cloak off as they moved closer to the fire. "If it wasn't cold it wouldn't be snow. If it wasn't snow then you would have no reason to do this with me." This turned out to be her pressing close to him and curling up in his lap when he was finally sitting. "Much better don't you think?"
He'd jumped as Zurna crept up to him, and blushed, having no idea that he'd been heard. "Ah, yes, but it'd be so much warmer and more comfortable," he grumbled half-heartedly, mellowing slightly as Zurna pulled him out of his cloak. The warmth of the fire soon touched his chilled skin and he found himself settling contentedly onto a fur.
"Oh well, that does make up for a lot, I suppose." Kaven rolled his eyes jokingly, his arms slipping around her waist. He stroked her back lightly and rhythmically, tracing patterns onto the back of her tunic.
"Is that all I am to you, then?" he adopted a hurt look, trying to keep a straight face. "Just another heat source?"
She opened her mouth then snapped it back shut. A sad pout crossed her face as she looked up at Kaven with puppy eyes. "Well if you are just heat source than I guess I'll just get up," Zurna said slipping off his lap and over to the bubbling pot. "I'm quite warm now, thank you."
With her back to him, Zurna was able to hide the smirk that was beginning to form. 'That'll teach you!' Experienced hands stirred the stew and tossed in more herbs as the young woman pretended to be indifferent to it all. 'It's almost done. A little longer and we can eat. That is, if Kaven doesn't find some way to distract me again. He is getting quite good at that.'
"Oww." That hadn't been the intended outcome at all. Kaven reached out ineffectually as Zurna stood up, then gave up and sat back. He watched lazily as she wandered over to the cooking pot, admiring her confident figure as she tended to her domestic duties. A moment later he stood up and tip-toed over and clasped his hands onto her hips, pulling her into his body.
"Well I suppose I can think of a few more benefits to that activity," he murmured against her cheek, kissing it lightly. From there he let his lips wander down, kissing down her neck slowly.
His butterfly kisses and caresses sent delightful chills up and down Zurna's spine. It was becoming very difficult for her to try and ignore how Kaven was making her feel. She shrugged her shoulders and threw her hips backwards slightly to push him away.
"If you want dinner and you don't want to be eating a rock version of it, I suggest you stop," she peeked over shoulder and winked, "distracting me." Flitting about and finishing the food she continued, "if you can stop thinking about me for three seconds perhaps you could try striking up some conversation. There has to be something at this point that I don't know about you."
"Fine, fine, I'll stop." Kaven laughed and backed away, after giving one last kiss to her collarbone. He moved aside to lean against one of the support beams, eyes following Zurna's movement around the tent. "Oh, I have many secrets. Practically a whole double life that I haven't told you about yet," he laughed and thought for a minute, trying to think of an interesting memory to tell her.
"Did you know that I once spent three months living in a hayloft?" He nodded earnestly. "It's true."
"A double life? Oh, do tell!" Zurna gave the pot one final stir before copying Kaven's posture against and opposite beam. She snatched up a pouch filled with nuts and dried berries and began to munch on them as she listened.
"You lived in a hayloft for three months?" She sent a questioning glance to the tent's exit before cocking her brow at Kaven. "If that is the case would you feel more comfortable sleeping with goats? I'm sure they wouldn't mind your company." Another handful of nuts were stuffed into her mouth to keep Zurna from laughing aloud. 'Although if that's the case, I'm not joining you Kaven.'
"Not quite," Kaven rolled his eyes. "There's a reason that I'm not still living there!" He laughed and let his back slide down the beam until he was sitting against it, in a more comfortable position from which to tell his story.
"It wasn't long after I'd left home. I'd only taken a tiny bit of money with me - there wasn't much to borrow from - and I had totally run out. It had been three or so days since I had eaten, and I'd just used up the very last of my food on Equi. We were tired, and so hungry, and so desperate," he put on a mock-dramatic voice for this last sentence, amping up the drama of his story. He couldn't keep it up for long though - he never had been good at keeping a straight face.
"Then I came upon the outskirts of a town in Serendipity, and happened to meet the local blacksmith. He was looking for cheap labour - I was looking for food and shelter. So I agreed to work in the stables and sleep in the hayloft, in exchange for food for me and Equi, and the occasional coin. It wasn't so bad, actually."
"Tired, hungry, and desperate, so not much different than how I found you? Now there's a surprise, tell my something I don't know." Zurna's face displayed a bit of an unspoken challenge. Smiling to show she was teasing, she dished out a bowl of stew and bent down to hand it to Kaven. "Eat your stew, tired, hungry, and desperate. That's about all you are getting if you stay in this home."
The young woman clicked her tongue and headed back over to the pot. 'Take that as you will Kaven! Question is, with all this snow can you take the heat?' Zurna moved the pot off the fire before sitting down just beyond Kaven's reach. If he wanted her, he would have to come and get her. Zurna's eyes seemed to dance in the firelight as she waited to see what Kaven would do, to hear what he would say.
"Yes, I seem to end up in that situation quite a lot." Kaven laughed as he accepted the bowl of stew from Zurna and started to eat. "I suppose that's what you get when you leave home with no guide, no money and no idea where you're going. At least if you come with me in the spring you will have at least one of those... an experienced, talented guide." He stuck his tongue out playfully as he boasted, and turned back to his meal.
"I must say, the reception here has been much better than a lot of places. Even if all I am going to get is fed ... at least the person serving it is easy on the eyes!" He teased, winking at her.
She shook her head, her brow furrowing in thought. "But, Kaven if I went with you I would be a terrible guide. I could only get you back through the tundra. After that I'm at your mercy. You know more about what the world out there looks like than I do. I only have stories and they can't be all true. If they are then," Zurna shuddered, "the world is far too terrible and fantastical for a person like me."
'Pretty on the eyes? Kaven is that really the best you can do?' Zurna gave a small snort. "Pity I can't say the same about my guest." She let her words hang in the air for a moment before continuing straight-faced. "But, I guess it is not a good thing to call a man pretty is it? Handsome, I believe, is the correct term, not that I would call you that either."
Her ears perked up as a voice that had been relatively quiet popped back up again. "And what praytell would you call him? You are attracted Z. Remember you are mine! He cannot have you when you were promised to me long ago."
'Go away Ezra. I told him your story, you should be gone now.'
"Oh no little bird. This is only the beginning. Enjoy him while you can. His end is coming." Zurna smiled, resettling herself so as to not appear flustered by the darkness that slowly swirled within her mind.
Kaven laughed, unsure whether she had misunderstood him, or was playing coy. "That was my point, Zurna. I could guide you through our travels... show you a whole new world. It is terrible and fantastical, but it is also beautiful, and amazing, and interesting. You would love it out there." His eyes shone as he thought again of all the things he had seen, and imagined showing them to someone else. "You really would."
He was so distracted by his memories that he barely paid attention to Zurna's next words, only vaguely aware that she was teasing him. "Ah, whatever," he waved off her words merrily. "I know you think I'm ever so pretty."
As she moved, he looked at her curiously, wondering what had provoked her sudden quiet and fidgeting. Holding his bowl carefully, he shuffled over to where she was and settled back down, happier now that they were closer.
"Eh? What's this?" she commented on his moving closer. "You sure I'm the one trying to steal warmth here? Maybe you were just trying to trick me, convincing me that I am the leach when it's actually been you all along. Mmhmm, I see how it is now."
Zurna nodded her head superiorily as if she had just solved the earth's greatest secret. "And I don't know I can trust you to be my guide. You seem to run into trouble and need strange women to rescue you from terrible predicaments. What if you can't find your way back home?" She leaned away from him to watch his face as he answered.
He laughed. "Yeah, you got me. I actually just want to stock up on warmth from you." Kaven grinned and hugged himself in an exaggerated display of cold. "You're a lot comfier to cuddle up to than the fire, that's for sure."
His cheerful expression fell into one of disappointment as she continued talking. "Of course I could find my way home! I'm not so useless at finding my way around you know... and as for these strange women - you talk as if I have a whole harem of them, following me around from place to place." He was joking, still, but there was a note of mild hurt in his voice.
"I wasn't saying you were useless. I was only teasing, Kaven." Zurna sighed and brushed her fingers gently across his brow, pushing away a strand of hair. "How am I to know? Do you have a harem Kaven? Surely you have met other women on your travels and attractive ones at that. You know it doesn't bother me."
"But, it does Z. He will leave you the first time he sees someone prettier than you. That won't be hard to do. You have no beauty. Stay with me Zurna Nali. Uphold the promise you seem to wish to forget."
'Begone Ezra. You are not wanted here. Lay yourself to peace. I am done with you!'
"You will never be done with me."
'This will end.'
"Never!"
'We shall see.'
Kaven sighed and relaxed as Zurna stroked his forehead, aware that he had overreacted. "The closest I have got to a harem is when I had the soldiers following me around Connlaoth... and not a single one of them was female. It was disappointing," he smiled and wriggled closer to her, letting his head drop onto her shoulder.
"I did meet lots of women," he admitted. "Some of them were attractive, I suppose. But most of them were wives of the people I was working for - and it was more than my life was worth to look twice at them! Even if I'd wanted to..."
"Disappointing? I take it you only like women then. Pity," she smirked down at him. "I would have enjoyed it under different circumstances." She knew this to be false. Zurna for the most part took no interest in men other than the work they could do. Kaven was the first one she had been attracted to in her short nineteen years of life."
Her brow raised slowly as he continued until it was so high up it was halfway up her forehead. "And just how many of these women did you want to look twice at? Although I'm surprised it was the wives and not the daughters you were worried about, if I was a parent I think that would be my bigger concern."
"I'll bet you would have," he teased her gently. "There are some very muscular, masculine soldiers over there you know. One second thought, maybe I shouldn't take you!" He laughed and snuggled further against her shoulder, one hand stroking her leg absent-mindedly.
"Hmmm, how many?" He hummed for a moment, apparently deep in thought. The faces of the women he had met on his travels were flitting through his memory, as he tried to recall any that he had been attracted to. "Let's see.. precisely... none."
Her gaze dropped follow the back and forth motion of his hand on her leg. Reaching forward she grasped his middle finger between her thumb and forefinger, relocating his hand back to his own lap. "None. Sure I'll believe that the day I see you lick your elbow. I mean are you saying you have never found a woman on your travels truly attractive and worth spending a night with?"
He sat up, frowning at the question. "Well you have to understand my state of mind at the time. I was travelling because of a woman... and for a long time I couldn't get that out of my head. Every time I saw a woman, I was reminded of what had happened. And it would make me feel sick, physically ill. Eventually it was narrowed down to women who looked like her, or sounded like her. Then it was just if something reminded me... but I was still wary. Of course these women hadn't done anything to me at all, but it was as if... as if my interest had just been turned off."
He sighed heavily, looking glum. "Yes, there were some women that I was attracted to. And that were attracted to me. But none that I honestly felt anything for. Not real, deep emotion. For a while I thought it would be like that forever." Then I met you were his unspoken last words.
Her exhalation came out slow and heavy. Zurna's shoulders drooped as did her features. 'I was only teasing. I didn't think. I never think. But, women that are like her. Am I? I shouldn't ask. I need to know though. I can't continue this if I'm just a substitute. From his memories, I look nothing like her. Maybe I sound like her, or my personality is the same. I'll just hurt him if I ask. I'll just hurt myself if I don't.'
"Kaven," she spoke softly. "Do I," Zurna bit her lip nervously, "do I remind you of her? Is that why you like spending time with me versus with the other women?"
Kaven looked up as Zurna spoke, surprised by the question. He didn't know what he had expected - but not a query like that. He was thrown off guard for a moment until he had worked it through, and realised exactly what she was asking.
"No!" The answer came out more forcefully than he had intended, but the emotion behind it was just as strong. "You are nothing like her. You sound different, you speak differently... you already know that you look nothing alike... and you are different inside. Everything about your personalities, your souls, is different."
Zurna flinched slightly at his declaration. Inside she could feel herself folding inwards. 'Nothing like her. I'm nothing like her. Everything he loved in her I don't have. Different. I'm not beautiful like her. Nothing like her! Why do you want me Kaven? Am I just that little innocent village girl that you can love and leave? Just someone to get over her with because you didn't have enough money to afford one of those painted tavern whores? I hate you. I hate you!'
She shuttered her emotions from her face. "More soup?" Standing she ripped his bowl from his grasp and went about refilling both of their bowls. Over and over she ladled the stew until each was filled to the brim. But, on the second she did not stop. Zurna just let it overflow to the point that hot elk stew was burning down her hand as it sloshed back into the pot. The tears that fell from her face, the ones she could no longer keep at bay were directed at her hand and not her heart. At least, that is what she was trying to convince herself.
"I- what?" Kaven stared, bewildered as Zurna rushed away. "What's wrong?" he asked the question feebly as she turned away from him, unable to do much more than just sit there. What did I do? Why has she leapt up from me? He tried to puzzle it out, frantic to discover what was going on. But I just complimented her. Doesn't she want me to do that? Why is she so angry? Perhaps I am still going too fast... I shouldn't have said anything! But she asked me to... The thoughts swirling round in his head were interrupted by the splashing of the soup as it fell back into the pot.
Standing up, he slowly made his way over to her, and hesitated before speaking. "Zurna... Zurna? What's wrong?" he swallowed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that - I agreed to take this slowly. I shouldn't be flattering you like that. It's just... I'm still in awe that I've met you, and that you're all I could have dreamed of. I couldn't help myself."
He reached out, gingerly and touched her shoulder. "Please, forgive me."
"Oh it's nothing. I just burnt my hand," Zurna stated, placing the bowl down and clutching the red and tender flesh of her right hand. "There's nothing to forgive Kaven. It's fine. I'm not upset. Flatter away." She threw her hands up in the air and walked away.
Looking through the healing remedies crate revealed nothing of use. 'Predicitable. Snow it is then. Damn it Kaven. How you can you be so blind? Stop underestimating me. I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I've got this figured out. You can stay until the spring but then it's out on your ass with you. Good luck getting me to go with you too once I've told my brothers about you!'
Zurna moved back to her feet and headed to the door. "I'm going to go get some snow to put on this, I guess." Cradling her hand close, she fumbled to try and open the toggles, grumbling as they refused to open. 'Manaia this hurts!'
Kaven was still frowning, puzzled, as Zurna moved away again. She certainly seems upset... why won't she talk to me? Why is she brushing me off like this? An hour ago we were closer than anything... and now she's pushing me away. She must be upset... but how can I fix it? I only wanted to show her how special she is to me, and how good she is for me. And I've done it wrong.
Biting his lip, he finally stepped forwards as she fought with the tent flap. He stooped to pick up his pack, rifling through it. "Wait. Don't go out into the cold - I have burn medicine. It'll take the pain out and help it to heal."
He pulled out a small vial of greenish goo, offering it to her as an olive branch.
Zurna eyes the vial questioningly as she slowly moved back over to him. "What's in it?" She started to reach for it but stopped when she realized she wouldn't be able to open it herself. Feeling defeated both emotionally and physically, the young woman gave up and held her injured hand out to Kaven. "If you think it'll help."
"Herbs, mostly. And this plant that grows in the forest clearings at home. It's rubbery and strange, but it works amazingly on burns." Kaven explained quietly as he opened the vial and poured a little of the mixture into his palm.
"I'm sorry if this stings you. It won't last for long." He took her hand with his free one and began massaging the medicine into her sore skin, using just the tips of his fingers. He felt the gel cooling to his hand as he treated Zurna, taking care to be extra gentle.
"It's fine Kaven. Really, don't worry about me." Despite her bravado though, Zurna still flinched and tried to recoil her hand the first time he touched her. It took all her willpower to keep still and let him continue massaging the green gook into her burns. The stinging quickly faded as a coolness replaced brought on by whatever herbs Kaven had mixed together.
She refused to look at him, feeling ashamed of her actions and hurt by what she believed to be true of him. "Thank you." Zurna felt trapped now. She couldn't leave but, she wasn't sure she wanted to stay. 'What do I say? What does it matter? Where is my family when I need them?'
"Any better?" he rubbed in the last of the goo and released her hand, dropping the vial back into his pack. "It should cool it down quite quickly, and it normally stops burns from scarring too. I can put more on in the morning if you need me too." Kaven looked back up, crestfallen to see that she was looking away from him. Fighting the urge to take a step closer, he instead kept his distance in an attempt not to crowd her. Maybe I should leave. She doesn't look like she wants to be around me right now...
He reached for her shoulder, squeezing it gently before letting go. "I'm going to go check on Equi," he said softly, stepping towards the entrance of the tent. As he reached the flap he paused and looked over his shoulder. "For what it's worth... I'm so glad I met you. I'm so glad that you are everything she wasn't. Everything about you is perfect to me." He paused, as if about to say something more, but bit his tongue and instead turned away into the dark, off to tuck Equi in for the night.
His leaving brought her no comfort or relief. She knew quite well that she had drove him away and that it had nothing to do with his wanting to check on Equi. 'Well maybe he does, you were the one to settle the pony for that night. Just another thing he can deem me incompetent of doing. Stop this Z! You know it has nothing to do with that, but to do with your arctic temperament directed his way. Not even your own family would have wanted to be around you when you act like this.'
She tried to busy herself with taking the pot off the fire and storing the leftover food for later. However even that was done too soon. Her thoughts returned once more to his parting words 'He said I am everything she wasn't, that I am perfect. I'm ugly and simple. What is so wonderful about that? I am cruel and misleading; what is there to love about that?'
Weariness quickly drove her to desire bed more than such self-loathing thoughts. Zurna moved slower through her nightly routine, taking extra care to thoroughly brush out her long dark hair and then plait it back up again. Stoking the fire, she finally crawled into her bedding, letting her head rest. She just barely was able to shutter her eyes before the tears started rushing down once more. "I am a fool."
Kaven had stayed in the livestock tent for some time; silently sitting with Equi. It wasn't until the pony himself drowsed off that he realised how much time had gone by, and realised that he should return to the main tent. He stood up awkwardly, stiff from sitting on the hard floor. Well, hopefully she'll have calmed down a little, or cheered up, and I'll be able to apologise properly. Deep concentrating had finally led him to understand why Zurna had taken offence - or at least, he thought he understood.
She didn't want to hear that she is so different from my fiancee. She thinks that that is still what I want, what I find attractive... and I tell her that she is the complete opposite. Idiot!
Shaking his head at his own stupidity, he slipped back inside the tent, just in time to hear Zurna's sobbed self-rebuke. Heart melting, he padded over to where she lay and settled down beside her, reaching out for her hand.
"Zurna," he whispered, softly. "I was such an idiot. I told you that you are the opposite of Anwyn, without telling you that that is exactly what I need. And want. She broke my heart - not because she is a bad person, but because who she is... is not the same as who I am. You take her good qualities and magnify them, and combine them with a heart that is good, and honest, and loving. You are different from her. And that is why I love you."
It took everything Zurna had not to vocally cry out as he took her hand in his. She just wanted to break down and sob her heart out. The hormones within her were wreaking havoc on her state of mind, or was that Ezra's doing?
Tugging on his hand, she practically flew into his lap. Zurna clung tightly to him and pressed a bruising kiss to his lips. The tears continued to fall adding a bittersweetness to the moment. "No more words. Just not now, please," she pleaded desperately.
She did not know if this is what he wanted. She did not know if what he said was true. But, she did know she did not want to leave his arms and she hoped he would not let her go. Zurna snatched up the warm pile of furs beside her and dragged them closer, pulling them around her like a cloak. 'Let the moment lie Kaven. Please just let it go.'
"No more words." He whispered in agreement, clinging to Zurna as if both their lives depended on it. He encircled her completely in his strong arms, pressing her to his body. He didn't even know if she'd truly heard what he'd said, let alone taken it in, and he had no way of telling what she thought of his admission. But all he could do was hold her, and hope that she would stay in his arms, and let him hold her through the night - through all the nights.
Silently, slowly, he reached out for the furs she'd brought nearer and arranged them carefully, tucking them around her body for comfort and warmth. And as he sat there he rocked her gently, back and forth against his chest, willing to do so all night if that was what it took to soothe her.
"Lay back," she softly commanded, gently nudging his shoulder. "We both deserve some sleep. I just-" A yawn interrupted her words and train of thought. It took Zurna a moment of silence and several long blinks to remember what she was saying and pick up where she left off. "I need to be held; I think you do too."
Thin arms moved to wrap around his waist now as she buried her head in his chest. Sleep was quickly claiming her, making it difficult to stay focused and keep talking. "Sleep well, Kaven," she whispered out at the end. A final yawn was her last conscious thought before she burrowed closer to him under the furs and fell into a deep sleep.
"Sshh." Kaven lay back as Zurna encouraged him, holding her close to his chest. He stroked her hair as she drifted off, then kissed her forehead and waited, staring into the darkness. "Good night, Zurna," he whispered some minutes later, feeling her deeply asleep next to him. It was a long time before he fell asleep. When he did, he knew the dreams would come back, and they did. But they weren't the normal dreams...
He was in bed, feeling himself rise through levels of comfortable sleep to wakefulness. Turning over in the soft bed he smiled to see the sweetly sleeping face of his fiancee. As he woke her with a kiss, he was greeted by her loving embrace and the smile in her forget-me-not eyes. "Good morning, Kav," she whispered, bringing her lips to meet his. And he knew that he was happy, buried in her yellow hair, as they curled together in bed...
The next time he woke up it was with a vague feeling of unease, only compounded as he turned over to see an empty bed. "Anwyn?" he sat up in confusion, and saw that beautiful face glaring at him from across the room. "You did it again! You kept me awake all night... Why can't you focus on me for once! You spend all night out at other people's bedsides, then come home and keep me up the rest of the night with your moaning! Why can't you help yourself instead of the rest of the idiots in this village? Why can't you help us?" As the tears fell from her eyes, she slammed out of the room, leaving him open-mouthed and speechless...
"You are nothing, Kaven! You spend all your time trying to help people - the dying people, and the crazy people, and the people that just can't sleep! They don't need you! Why can't you spend that time with me? You don't care enough! You're not worth me wasting my time here in this village." Her face was furious, distraught as she berated him. They were in the middle of the square, watched by an audience of disbelieving faces. And now, just as at the time, he said nothing, unable to defend himself or argue against her. She turned on her heel, but not before she spat one last comment towards him.
"You will never make a woman happy!
Kaven awoke with a start, drenched with sweat. It took him several moments to recall where he was. At some point during the night Zurna's mother and the twins had returned, and he could hear them breathing peacefully in their sleep. Rolling away from Zurna, he held his head in his hands, trying to stop the tears that fell from his eyes. It was no use, and at this rate he was in danger of waking Zurna. Standing, he stumbled away from her, out of the tent, and made his way into the livestock tent where he sank down next to the sleeping Equi. He leaned against the pony's flank, giving himself up to his misery.
"Equi..." he choked the words out into the darkness. "It's true, isn't it? I will never make her happy. I'm not fit to try."
Dreams did not plague her that night. Zurna slept contently until Kaven woke and pulled away from her. A soft mewl of protest escaped her but she did not wake until the heat from his body quickly began to fade and leave her shivering.
A deep sense of loss and regret filled her as she opened her eyes to find him gone. 'I did this. I drove him away. He doesn't want me. He's just being nice. Did he leave completely, just sneak off in the night and pretend I don't exist? Only one way to find out. If he left Equi will also be gone.'
Reluctantly, Zurna dragged herself from the confines of her warm furs and pulled on her soft wrap and boots. She made sure to stoke the fire some more before she left. If Equi was gone or even if he was not, Zurna did not know when she would be returning back. Her heart was already preparing itself for the break she was sure it was going to suffer.
She had just steeled herself and entered the dark livestock tent when she heard Kaven's words ring out through the cold blackness. Her heart leaped to know he was still here, but the fear that it would not be for long shadowed her joy. "You are no more fit to try, than I am to do the same for you," she whispered back, cloaking herself in the darkness of the room, hiding all emotion save for that expressed in her words.
As he had spoken, Kaven had dropped his head down to Equi's side, closing his eyes against the pony's smooth coat. He was alerted to Zurna's presence by a soft snort from the creature, who he had awoken with his tearful arrival, and it was with a heavy heart that he waited to hear what she would say. Did she hear what I said? How long until she agrees, and asks me to leave? That's what is bound to happen - after I hurt her last night, and left her to come out here, and now she has heard my own admission. I suppose I should get ready to pack.
He was surprised by what she did say, taking a moment to process them. He felt in a kind of limbo - was this good, or bad. She hadn't kicked him out yet. He felt like his heart was in his mouth as he answered.
"Maybe neither of us are qualified to try for happiness. I wish we could try together. But I cannot give you what you need, Zurna. I need to remember that." His voice was bitter and hurt as he spoke, full of the emotion inspired by his dream.
Zurna moved quietly to another side of the tent before speaking. She was feeling antsy and wanted nothing more than to pace about. She hoped the change of position would make her relax a bit. "Who are you to know what I need, to determine whether or not you have the capability to give it to me? What if what I need is you? What if what you have already given me is all I will ever need to survive? Would you deprive me of that? Would you abandon me now that I think I have you?"
She shook her head trying to fight off angry tears as she moved again, this time placing herself behind Kaven a bit. "What about me? Will I ever be enough for you? You tell me you want me, but how true is that? Could you live like this, if this is all there is? Just because we are not qualified for happiness doesn't mean I'm not going to damn well try for it. Why are you giving up so quickly Kaven? Am I not worth it? Better yet, why do you think you are not worth it?"
'Am I being a fool? He just spent hours telling me how he wants to stay through the winter and get to know me better. Now he is telling me it's not worth it. I can't keep going through this. This back and forth "does he want me, is he using me" is killing me. Kaven what do you want? Which is the truth?'
Kaven found himself stammering as Zurna blew up at him. He cringed into himself, not even sure where he had gone wrong to incur such a reaction.
"I- I. I didn't mean anything like that. You're more than enough for me - you're more than enough for anyone. I just wish I could deserve you." He dropped his head, his exhausted face looking strangely vulnerable in the dim light. "I could try for the rest of our lives, but I know I wouldn't make you happy."
He paused, biting his lip before he continued. "And I don't think it - I know it. Believe me, I've been told in no uncertain terms that that is the case."
Zurna felt like banging her head against a wall until she blacked out into unconsciousness. The self-depreciating way that Kaven talked of himself made her want to scream and cry. She let the silence hang between them for a while as she fought to curb her tongue. 'Harsh words will you get you nowhere. Try again, Z.'
"You have been told, by me or by her? You said I am not her. What applies to her does not apply to me, Kaven. You can't know until you try. What did she say to you that makes you this way? Whatever it is, she's wrong. She has to be if you can find worth in me, if you can claim to love me despite my faults. You have seen my mind Kaven, you know the horror that took hold of it."
'That still haunts it.' She was careful to hold her ground as she spook. Zurna wanted to desperately to run and embrace him but, was unsure if that would really be the reassurance that he needed. "Still you tell me you are in love, with of all people, me. What have I done Kaven to deserve this treasure, you? I am no one, yet you say I am more than enough. I can't let you help me Kaven, if you don't let me do the same. You showed me your soul in order to trust you. I do trust you, but why do you not trust me? Trust me to know my own heart, to find my happiness in you, and to make my own choice."
Kaven stayed still and silent, letting her words wash over him. He knew she was right, knew that Zurna was not Anwyn. He had seen for himself the difference in their souls, and besides, th at part of his life was long gone. Hadn't he set out on this journey to free himself of those poisonous memories, to escape the misery that had haunted him ever since those parting words were hurled? They had made him doubt everything about himself, his worth, and even made him hate his talents as the cause of their misery. It looked like he was going to have to make a choice. Slowly, deliberately, he stood up and turned towards her.
"You're right. Of course you are. I know that. She said that I was worth nothing, that my dreamweaving was selfish, and that I would never make a woman happy. I know in my heart that the second one, at least, is false. I don't know about the others... but I'm not going to give up. Not yet. Not on you."
He held open his arms, hoping against hope that she would come into them. "I trust you."
She had wanted to make him wait, to not see how eager she was for his affection. But, who was she kidding. The moment his arms were open, Zurna was flinging herself into them. "You better, you idiot," she replied softly, her head buried against his strong chest. "I was afraid I was going to have to drag you outside and hold you under some ice water for a while. Do you feel this, Kaven?" Her arms gripped him tighter. "This is me not letting go. You're stuck with me!"
Zurna leaned back slightly, but just as she promised, she refused to let go. She had to move up on tip-toe to place a kiss on the underside of his chin. "Don't force my hand so that I have to make good on that threat later, alright? Drowning is such a messy business." She was teasing yet, there was a look in her eyes that said she really would drag him outside and knock some sense into him the minute he started losing it. Her laid back to rest against him, perfectly content to just snuggle into his embrace and never stop. But, her mind bubbled with questions. 'Why did he leave? Was that enough? Will he stay now? What fuels her words, that he continues to believe them even now? Can I even help change that? Would he let me if I tried?'
Kaven breathed a deep sigh of relief as she rushed into his arms, feeling the warmth of her body tight against his. He closed his eyes as a smile spread across his face. Returning her kiss, he laughed shakily as he touched his lips to her forehead.
"I'll try and be careful," he promised, wrapping his arms tight around her. "You're right, drowning does look messy. And I've never liked water," he admitted with a grin. But like Zurna, there was truth underneath his joking words. He could feel his heart thudding with the reality of how close he had come to really making her angry. And who knows what would have happened then?
"Believe it or not, I'm a lot better than I used to be." He admitted this truth with a small smile.
"I'm glad to hear that. I would really hate to lose you after I just found you, literally. Time seems to move so slowly when you like someone. I can't believe this is only day four of knowing you, I feel like it's been a lifetime." Zurna sighed contently, falling silent.
But, the moment was not to last. She could already hear the other animals beginning to stir and she knew then that dawn was coming. "Kaven?" Her voice clearly held a hesitant tone to it that she had to gulp out before she could continue. 'I can't ask him why he left. Not now, I can't ruin this moment. But, how do I stop it from ending. Just a little longer, that is all I want. Just a little more time with him, please.'
Her hands slid down his arms to clasp his hands. "Would you come with me? I want to show you something. If we're quick we can catch it." She took one step back towards the exit but still would not let go of his hands.
"I know, it's so strange. The days have flashed by - it seems as if as soon as I wake up, it's night-time again, because I don't even notice the passing of the hours. And yet at the same time, it seems like a lifetime since we met." He twirled a strand of her hair absent-mindedly. "I can't believe that last week, I had no idea that you existed."
Lapsing into quiet, he looked at Zurna curiously as she spoke. It seemed like she was unsure about what she was going to say, and he was about to question her when she spoke again.
"Alright..." He interlaced his fingers with hers and followed, confused but intrigued.
His acceptance brought Zurna relief. The burning of her chest made her release a breath she had not realized she had been holding. Her usual brilliant smile returned again as she led him outside. Already the sky was beginning to lighten, turning from a sooty black to an ash gray. She trudged forward in silence, pulling him faster as their surroundings became more and more visible.
"Almost there," she told him as they ascended one of the dunes that was on the very outskirts of her "village." Staring ahead she let her feet come to a rest at the top. Without looking at Kaven she whispered, "keep as quiet as possible and just watch and listen. It's nearly time." Her hand squeezed his tighter in anticipation.
The entire tundra seemed to silence itself in that one moment. Orange fingers rose up and raced across the ice fire, setting the entire land ablaze. The fiery orb that was the sun flew up into the sky appearing to scorch the entire horizon on its ascent. At least it cleared the land, a perfect circle hanging above them as it continued to rise. All around them the creatures of the earth awoke, birds specifically, raised their voices in song and flitted about, chasing each other as the day begun.
Zurna had found this sight the most beautiful thing since as long as she could remember. When she turned assess Kaven's reaction she was suddenly taken over with another desire. Going with the beautiful spontaneity of the moment she let go of his hand throw both of her arms up around his shoulders as her lips came crashing down on his own.
Kaven hurried alongside Zurna, letting himself be pulled along through the village. He couldn't guess where they were headed - it seemed to be into nothingness as they went past the last tents. Scrambling up the dune, he gazed around curiously, prevented from speaking by Zurna's hushed instructions.
His questions were nullified by what happened next. Eyes wide, he stared in wonderment as the tundra came to life. In that moment it seemed to go from a harsh, dead land to something so obviously, thrivingly alive that it took his breath away. He was enchanted by the birds that rose and sang, and by the perfect roundness of the sun. In other, more urban areas, a sunrise was nothing like this, not this clean or interrupted. He was speechless.
The beauty of this moment was compounded when Zurna fell upon him. Staggering slightly, Kaven felt his whole body respond to her kiss, coming alive just as the tundra had. He kissed back hungrily, hands firm on her back.
She clung to him like a woman drowning in the sea with only him keeping her above the crashing waves. Every nerve-ending in her body seemed to be alight as the passion and warmth of his kiss flooded her with loving sensation. "Manaia, I love you," she whispered through bruised lips.
Her eyes widened as she realized what she had let slip. There was no 'I think' it was a definite 'I love you' with no reservations or doubts, no rules or conditions. It frightened and delighted Zurna to find her so deeply in love and so quickly. The courting and loves her older brothers had all been so different. Yotar had taken years to warm up Sonya's heart before she suddenly agreed to marry him. The triplets wives had been feisty fishwomen who gave as good as they took, and manage to each win the hearts of the boys as well as whip them into shape.
But, what she had with Kaven was starkly different. It was fast and all-consuming but also so tender sweet and haunted. The reminder that Ezra was but a thought away always dashed what little hope she had. Yet, in this moment she had bigger concerns. Zurna would not further upset Kaven when she had just gotten him to agree to stay and try. There was also the fact that she had just declared her love to him that needed considering.
She was just opening her mouth to say something more when the sounds of her name being called over and over reached her. A heavy sigh was their reply as she gave her companion an apologetic smile. "And so another day begins."
Mind and body focused entirely on their kiss, Kaven felt all the worries he'd had before melting away. Everything that had haunted him through the night, their argument in the livestock tent, none of it mattered anymore. The only thing that was important was that he was kissing her, she was kissing back and -
and she loved him. Pulling back, he couldn't stop a grin spreading across his face. He was stunned and thrilled to hear such a stark expression of her feelings. It wasn't a conditioned response to his own professions of love, or even a response at all - she had said it entirely of her own volition, because she felt it. That was what made him unable to reply, just remain grinning at her like an idiot.
Luckily after a second, the silence was broken and she spoke again. Before she could move away he pulled her into another tight embrace, lips meeting hers once again. "I love you too," he whispered as he pulled away. Hearing the calling of her name, he sighed.
"Can't we just slip away and spend the day in bed?" he smiled, only half-joking. It'd be so nice to stay up here, alone, all day.
The second kiss was surprising and unexpected. She had never considered that he would want to share that he loved her as well, considering they had just been arguing and discussion his former fiance. But, here he was asking if they could just hide away.
She rolled her eyes at his antics and tugged him along, as was becoming a habit for her. Zurna still would not let go of his hand even as they approached home. "Food first and then I'll see what I can do. Though I doubt I could get away with staying in bed. Mother is good at finding things to do. Sneaking away while still doing work will be easier. If we're quick we may be able to snag fishing duties today."
Zurna had to bite her lip to keep from giggling as she said mock-seriously, "I'll even fall in again so you can warm me up afterwards."
"Fine, fine..." Kaven laughed and let himself be pulled along. He reflected that this seemed to be their usual mode of transport - Zurna tugging, and him following meekly. The idea made him laugh as they walked. "I'd like that," he winked at her last comment. "Gives me a nice excuse to get all close to you."
He laughed again, but sobered up as they reached the tents. "Is anyone likely to notice that we've been out? Am I going to have to defend myself against 25 brothers when we go inside?" He was only half-joking... it had struck him before that someone was bound to notice their closeness, soon.
"Twenty-five brothers?" she sputtered, turning to him. "Oh goodness no! You would just have to contend with twenty-two and a pair of concerned parents, at the most. And the twins! I forgot about the twins. They don't like having their Aunt Z time taken away from them. In fact I'd be more worried about them than my brothers. Those monsters can save or destroy your life with their cute faces."
Zurna nodded her head very seriously, before ducking inside the tent. Sure enough her family was already awake and eating. Nine of her brothers were in the tent but, thankfully most of them were ones that Kaven had already met. Not so fortunate however, was the fact that the triplets looked ready to start up on her and even worse, Sonya was there looking ready for a fight.
She tried to keep her head held high and a smile on her face even as her sister-in-law glared her down and kept the twins from running to their favorite aunt. "Good morning family," she greeted softly. Trying to keep herself busy, she accepted two bowls of the morning's breakfast from Tarogato with a thankful kiss to the cheek.
"Well that's... not very encouraging...!" Kaven had a funny feeling that she wasn't joking about the twins. His (admittedly limited) experience with small children had suggested to him that they could, indeed, make a lot of things happen in their favour. He sighed worriedly and followed Zurna, ducking inside the tent.
He paused at the entrance, wary as he counted up the family members inside. Luckily he knew many of the brothers, but there was a woman there who he had yet to encounter. From the expression on her face, and her control of the twins, he guessed she must be Sonya. It would be best to avoid antagonising her, then.
"Good morning," he nodded respectfully to the family, looking to Zurna for his next cue. Luckily, she had already got breakfast, so it looked as if they could sit and eat without too much incident... or at least, he hoped so.
Zurna handed Kaven his bowl and motioned him over to sit with her brothers. She felt it would be safer with the triplets and Targato than to be alone and in firing range of Sonya. Not that it mattered, her sister-in-law still came to sit with them. In fact she managed to wiggle her way in between Kaven and Zurna, elbowing Zurna in the ribs as she did so.
The other woman looked apologetically over to Kaven as she curled further in on herself and away from the intruder. "So dearie, what's a handsome stranger like yourself skulking around with Nali for?" If looks could kill Sonya would be charbroiled from the way Zurna was glaring a hole in the back of her head. The tent seemed to quiet to watch the impending storm.
Just as he thought a confrontation would be avoided, Kaven found himself being thrust apart from Zurna. Eyebrows raised, he met her apologetic eye with a small smile, trying to assure her that he could hold his own against Sonya.
"Skulking?" His tone was mildly surprised, and a little patronising. "No, you must be mistaken. I'm honoured that I've been as warmly welcomed as I have been... the whole family has been nothing but gracious and kind to me. And as for Zurna... she has quite literally saved my life, and introduced me to a whole new life. I assure you I'm quite happy here." He gave her a kind smile.
"You must be Sonya, am I correct?"
"Sonya L'Etenette," the woman replied cooly. She opened her mouth to continue but was interrupted by Zurna.
"You're wasting your time Sonya. He's a magic-user and you're a married woman. Quit drooling over him like a hungry mutt looking for table-scraps.
The Connlaothian woman's eyes practically glowed with rage as she turned on Zurna who just pretended not to notice and eat her food nonchalantly. "Yes because you would know all about that wouldn't you, you unwhelped bitch," she hissed out cruelly.
Zurna turned unimpressed eyes to her sister-in-law, staring at her in disapproval. "That was the best you could come up with? And I wouldn't do that if I were you," the younger woman warned as Sonya made to grab her throat. "You can't have forgotten what happened the last time you did that. Druids don't like magic being used to take life prematurely, remember that."
The former noble cringed at the "D" word, looking about as if someone was going to come out and strike her down right then and there. "You'll pay for that," she hissed, rising to her feet and storming out. A stream of foreign words followed her out as she went.
Licking her lips and taking a big impolite slurp of her food, Zurna turned to Kaven and winked. "Well that's Sonya, more breakfast?" Her smile was fake but bright. It was obvious that her sister-in-law had upset her yet, she was not going to let her keep her down, not when she had Kaven with her now.
Kaven stared in disbelief at this exchange, stunned by the insults coming from each woman. His eyebrows were raised to whole new heights by the end of the argument, only dropping as Sonya left the tent. Belatedly closing his mouth, he looked from the tent flap to Zurna, and back again.
"Wow," was all he could remark. "She was... interesting." It wouldn't have been his first choice of descriptor, but he was well aware that he was still a stranger amongst the family, whereas Sonya was married into it. He shuffled back to Zurna's side, closing the distance that had been forced between them by the intruder, and took some mouthfuls of his food.
"What on earth happened at the end, there?" He asked curiously, wondering why Sonya had suddenly given up the fight.
Many of the family members in the circle gave a snort or guffaw at Kaven's description. "It's okay boy, you can just say it as it is. None of us practically take a shining to Sonya, especially after sh-"
"Enough Washint!" Zurna's voice while quiet held a harsh, furious tone to it. "You are upsetting Yotar. Sonya is his wife and that makes her part of our family. Put aside your distaste for her and remember that."
"She's a hypocrite!" Veille jumped in to defend his brother.
"I know what she is! I know what she has done! And I also know that she is hurting and you make it no easier on her. Quit being a child and grow up! If I can do it, so can you," she hissed.
Despite the hostile nature of Zurna's rage, other family members were beginning to smile. The elder adults held looks of pride as they listened to their daughter and sister. Yotar even went so far to clap a gentle hand on his sister's shoulder in a silent thank you.
"I'm sorry about that Kaven. Sonya is Sonya. She slips back into her Connlaothian noble ways whenever she thinks she has the chance to hear news of home, that she can go back and live her refined life. Even married to Yotar and with twin daughters, she still believes living here is only temporary. Earlier in the summer, she and I got into another angry discussion and she tried to choke me. I was holding my own until she decided to use the very magic that got her banned from her homeland."
Zurna rubbed at her neck, remembering the pain and fear that came with that memory. "I had been escorting a druid to my home so that I could help him with his duties. He jumped in and saved me, saying that the balance of life and death shouldn't be tilted on whim, that magic should never be used so carelessly. He frightened Sonya badly and she was forced into solitude for a while while she thought things out. She later decided to stay and be a part of the family. However, every time we have a guest she gets like this." The woman froze, her spoon halfway to lips as she realized something.
"Oh Kaven, I'm so sorry! I didn't meant to tell her your dream-weaving was magic. It was the only thing I could think of to get her to leave you alone. Despite her own use of it she still hates all who carry it. I didn't mean to reveal something so personal to someone is now going to hate you. Honestly I was just trying to get her to leave, I never considered the future consequences." Zurna groaned, dropping the spoon so that it caused a splash that splattered food across her cheek. 'I'm such an idiot!'
"Oh, that's alright," Kaven reassured Zurna quite sincerely, barely having noticed her comment. "I don't think she'd have liked me for very long anyway... it's probably best that she found out sooner rather than later." He smiled and reached out, gently wiping the food off Zurna's cheek. His thumb brushed against her skin tenderly and lingered there for a moment, until he remembered where he was. Dropping his hand hastily, he turned back to his breakfast, face turning slightly red.
"So... ah... oh! So what kind of magic does Sonya have? Is she a druid?" he asked, half-curious, half looking to disguise his embarassment.
The triplet brothers elbowed each other back and forth and chuckled at the twin blushes that graced Kaven's and Zurna's faces. "No, she's not a druid," Zurna finally spoke up, glaring at her elder brothers. "She's a mage. I can't say that I know the extent of her powers, we don't talk much."
"Yeah it's highly inadvisable to leave those two in the same room. There would be nothing but blood to clean afterwards," the men piped up.
"Do you want to be next, little brothers?"
Three pairs of eyes widened before bowls of food were placed down and they were moving as one to tackle their only sister. Zurna squeaked in surprise before diving behind Kaven. Clinging to him tightly, her head resting on his shoulder she listened as they taunted her.
"You seriously don't think he'll protect you from all of us, do you Z?" She was not given a chance to reply before Tarogato had sneaked up and picked her up from behind. Zurna was a giggling mass of flailing limbs, begging for help between breaths.
"Interesting... I wonder what she can do," Kaven mused, determinedly ignoring the teasing of Zurna's brothers. His experience in Connlaoth had given rise to an interest in their culture and politics - although it was an interest that he would only pursue from a distance, of course - and he couldn't help but wonder about the powers of someone who was born and bred there.
Of course he didn't have much time to think about it, before he and Zurna found themselves under attack. Laughing as she hid behind him, he threw his arms out to protect her from the front... only to have her plucked from behind him.
He couldn't help but hang back and laugh as Tarogato held her, feeling pretty impotent against her brothers.
Blood rushed to her head making the ability to resist and escape much harder. Zurna was completely shocked though when her brother bodily carried her over to Kaven and dumped her into his lap. "There now, that's better. Couldn't stand to see you two pining after each other another second. Oh for the love of Manaia! Zurna quit gaping like a fish out of water, it's unsightly I tell you."
Zurna's jaw snapped shut with an audible click. She did not know what to think. The triplets dancing about and making kissy faces was not helping the situation but, Tarogato joining in was completely unexpected. The final straw was when her mother came over and handed her her rucksack and fishing poles. "Why don't you two go fishing? There'll be plenty of quiet time down by the water," the old woman chuckled as her daughter groaned and buried her face in Kaven's shoulder.
It was out of habit that Kaven pulled Zurna into his arms as she landed in his lap, bringing her close to him. He chuckled at Tarogato's comment and let his arms fall, but not before he ran a gentle hand down her back reassuringly. If you can't beat them, join them, he thought as the triplets made fun, and laughed along.
He saw an opportunity for escape as Zurna's mother herself teased them, and gently moved Zurna away from him. Grasping at the fishing poles he stood up, pulling Zurna with him and grinning at Minali. "Thank you, I think we will take you up on that offer... before Zurna dies of embarassment." He smiled gently and took Zurna's hand, ushering her out of the tent before her brothers could start up their teasing again.
Once outside in the crisp morning air, he turned to Zurna and tenderly pushed a piece of hair out of her face. "So... fishing?" he nodded in the general direction of the fishing pools. "We've practically been encouraged to... have some alone time." He grinned again, a light in his eye.
Zurna was in too much shock to resist being pulled out of the tent and away from her teasing family. "Dies of embarrassment? Thank you very much. Just for that I think I'm going to drown you instead of going fishing," she mock-glared. "As for alone time, you better watch it bub or I'll invite the twins to come along. They just love fishing. Probably could teach you a thing or two about it.
"In fact," she aid turning to head back inside, "I think I'll go get them now. Just give me a second." She did not have any real intention of doing so, but she wanted to see Kaven's reaction. If he did not stop her though she figured she would just go through with it afterall. 'And face the rabble that my brothers have become inside? Not on my life or death. I value my sanity more than that.'
"No, no no nooo!" Kaven grabbed Zurna's hand and tugged her back towards him, away from the tent. "Alright, I'm sorry, I'll be a gentleman!" He laughed and kissed her forehead gently, starting to lead her down the path.
"I will sit five feet away from you at all times, kiss you only with the chastest of lips, and think of you in only pure ways. I promise." Grinning, he reached down to kiss her hand humbly. "If I follow all those restrictions, will you let me come fishing with you alone?"
She smirked to herself before allowing herself to be turned around. Her face returned to a mask of stubborn consideration. "Ask permission before each kiss and we have an accord," Zurna replied. Eying him impishly she took off running across the tundra headed for the water. "Last one to the water has to clean the fish," she called back over her shoulder. A carefree laugh danced across her lips in a way it had not since she was a small child. For the first time in a long while, Zurna felt truly happy.
"Ugh, cleaning the fish." Kaven grumbled to himself for a minute as Zurna took off running. Even if he started running now, she would be faster than him on this unfamiliar, unpredictable ground. He sighed and picked up the fishing poles, starting to jog after her.
As he'd predicted, Zurna was already at the water when he got there. Slowing to a walk, he crept up behind her to place his hands on her hips. "So... you beat me. May I have a kiss to satisfy my wounded pride?"
She looked down at the hands around her waist before dropping her head back to look up at Kaven. "Penalty. Last I checked this was not five feet. Just for that you don't get a kiss and you get the honor of catching the first fish. Bonus points if you succeed without the fishing pole."
Zurna chuckled to herself, trying to squelch the sound as she twirled out of his grasp. She pretended to ignore him as she went through the pack and began removing things to start a fire. Out of the corner of her eye though she kept an eye on Kaven. It was just too hard to resist doing otherwise.
"Ohhh." Kaven pouted a little at Zurna as she span out of his grasp, leaving his hands empty. "I forgot about that condition." He sighed and wandered to the edge of the water, kneeling down on the cold bank.
"How am I supposed to catch a fish without the pole?" he asked blankly, staring into the water. The fish seemed to be moving far too fast for him to catch one by hand, but he gamely stuck his hand into the water anyway.
Several minutes later, he was rewarded for his patience. "Oh!" He let out a surprised exclamation as a fish found itself wriggling in his hand.
"Aha! I did it!" He turned to Zurna triumphantly, holding the fish up to show her. It was only then that he noticed how cold his hand was, frozen from being held in the water for so long.
The big smile that crossed her features could not be helped. Zurna shared in Kaven's pride and excitement. Still smiling she stood and bounced over to him. "Good job," she praised placing a kiss to his cheek. Looking down to take the fish from him, it did not escape her how red and uncomfortable his hands looked from being in the water.
"Come warm up by the fire, I'll shorten your minimum distance until you get warm again." She returned to the fire and began the task of cleaning the fish even though she had won the race to the lake. Zurna felt a little bad for Kaven now and grabbed up a small kettle her mother had given them and gathered some water to make tea. "You'll be warm in no time. The tea will help," she promised, moving to sit right next to him. "Until then give me your hands. I'll warm them up for you."
Kaven grinned as he got a kiss off Zurna, pleased that his efforts had paid off. He rubbed his hands together to try and warm them, looking at the pale tips of his fingers. The palms were red and raw, but his circulation had slowed in the extremities, bringing a blue tinge to his fingertips. He was blowing on them as he went to sit down, giving Zurna a grateful smile as she set up the kettle.
"Ahh, you're too kind, my princess," he settled down and held his hands out to her cheerfully.
She removed her gloves and took his hands within her own warmer pair. For a few minutes she just rubbed her hands back and forth gently around them to try and get the circulation going. It did not take her long to realize this was not doing much good. Coming to a decision, Zurna dropped Kaven's hands and swung her leg across his lap, positioning herself so that she was straddling his lap and facing him.
"Not one word," she warned. Pausing to give him "the eye" she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his back, effectively pinning his hands between them. Closing her eyes and just enjoying the moment, Zurna let her head fall forward to rest her chin the shoulder in front of her. She was enjoying the peaceful moment, swaying from side to side as she clung to him tightly. "I think I'm starting to become addicted to this. You better watch yourself Kaven, or I just might never let go."
Kaven stayed quiet as Zurna rubbed his sore hands, but couldn't resist a smile as she began to climb onto his lap. Letting his hands be sandwiched between their bodies, he enjoyed the unusual feeling of passivity brought on by their embrace. He let his eyes close in contentment, feeling Zurna's hair brushing against his cheek.
"Mmm, I'd be alright with that." He grinned as she spoke, not bothering to open his eyes. "I'd even keep my hands in cold water all the time if it meant I always got to warm them up on your body." As the feeling began to return to his fingers he wriggled them experimentally, and began fiddling with the hem of Zurna's tunic.
Moss brown eyes rolled in her head as Zurna jostled her shoulder into Kaven's chest. "Nice try. If you keep submerging your hands like that they will freeze and no amount of my warming them will change that. Besides who says I want your little ice blocks making me cold too?"
She pulled away to look at him only to feel the movement of his hands further down. "Kaven, stop that!" she giggled, failing to hide her amusement behind anger. "Keep that up and I'll permanently ban you from kisses for the rest of the season and all of the next." Sighing in exasperation , Zurna rolled her eyes again and kissed him on the nose. "You sir are incorrigible. What is a girl to do with you?"
"Fine, I'll stop." Caught out, Kaven grinned and pulled his hands out from in between their bodies, instead slipping them around her back, under her cloak. "I wouldn't want to go until spring without kisses... I might just waste away from sadness... and you wouldn't want to do that to me, would you?"
He laughed and pulled her close again, snuggling his face against her furs. "Anyway, you know you wouldn't be able to resist me for that long."
She let off a scoffing snort. "I highly doubt you would waste away. It would only be about half a year until then." Zurna smiled and snuggled closer against him. His presence was truly becoming a necessary comfort for her. Part of her wondered if it was such a good idea to let her heart be so free while the other part told the first to go jump off a cliff.
"Oh?" she asked jerking back again to look him in the eye. Thick brows quirked in wonder. "Is that so Kaven? Do I hear a challenge? Well if that's the case then why don't we bet on it? I bet that I can resist you and your kisses. I bet that I can outdo you, that you'll be begging before I even have an inclination to want you. Question is Kaven," she whispered leaning in close to his ear, "are you man enough to try?"
Kaven groaned as she pulled away, his eyebrow raising as she challenged him. He was laughing at first, but became more serious as she mentioned a bet. This sounded like fun... although winning the bet sounded like it would be a tortuous process.
"Man enough? Oh I'm man enough." He grinned and stroked one finger down her back lightly. "The question is, what are the conditions? And more importantly, what do I get when I win?"
Her hand reached around behind her to pull his hand away from her back. She raised her index finger in between them. "Condition number one, no touching at all. Condition number two no kissing. Condition number three, rules are revisable during the bet. Winnings hmm,"
Zurna bit her lip as she considered what to bet. "Winner gets a free day to do whatever she or he desires within reason. Loser is forced into slavedom for the day. Now Kaven," she pulled away from him and off his lap, "are we in accord, for the game begins now?"
Kaven crossed his arms sulkily as Zurna listed the rules. This didn't sound fun at all! He hadn't really bargained on 'no touching', either. This would be hard.
"Fine. But you can't touch Equi either." He stuck his tongue out as she stopped to consider. As she left his lap he wriggled backwards away from her, his eyes brightening as she declared the prizes. "Alright, I can live with those conditions. I assume we can touch long enough to shake on it?" He held his hand towards her.
"Equi!" she cried. "Now that's just mean-spirited. You know that makes the condition twofold, you will also not be allowed to touch him." Zurna looked down at his hand and then back up to his grinning face. "Nice try. The game has already begun. If I shake your hand I lose. You're going to have to try harder than that if you want to win Kaven."
She smiled impishly at him before seating herself by the fire again and moving to pour him some tea and place the raw fish over the fire. "Here you go Kaven. The tea is going to have warm you up in my absence." Smirking she held up the wooden cup which her her hand completely encased. The only Kaven would be able to take it from her without contact would be to have her put it down or to riskily grip it from the hot bottom and thin rim.
Kaven gasped at her rebuttal. "Now that's not fair! He's my pony... who will look after him if I can't touch him? The poor thing will be so lonely..." he wheedled, trying to get the condition overturned by an appeal to Zurna's soft side.
He looked at the cup askance for a moment, figuring out his chances. "Thank you, Zurna. You can just place it on the ground, if you will - I'm not ready for it just yet." He smiled sweetly, turning to look at the fire.
"Sure Kaven, Equi will be the one who gets lonely. My answer is still no. Besides I bet that you will have lost by the time we have to go home anyway. It won't matter anymore then."
Inside, Zurna was laughing in delight. 'Poor thing doesn't know what to do with himself. Nice try but, I'm not going to make it easy on you Kaven. Put the cup down? Not on your life!'
"Oh not ready? Okay, I'll just hold it until you are then." She sent him a beaming smile and snuggled deeper into her fur wraps. 'Take that Miser Damal!'
"Ah, you wish," Kaven teased her back gently, reaching out to turn the fish. "I will not be your slave, Zurna. Wait and see, you'll be doing my bidding by tomorrow!" He laughed and moved closer to the fire, to take on the duty of cooking the fish. He turned his head as Zurna teased him.
"That's fine. See, you are already holding my cup for me, until I'm ready to drink it. If that's not serving me, I don't know what is." He laughed and winked at her, sure that his pointing this out would infuriate her.
"But if you get tired of that, we could do with a few more fish?"
Zurna clenched her fingers tightly around the bowl, feeling the sensitive pads of her hands begin to burn under the heat. 'Slave am I? We'll just see about that! You're lucky I don't throw this in your face.' Blowing nonchalantly on the tea, she gulped it down, ignoring the screams of her burning taste buds. "He who snoozes, loses," she replied shrugging her shoulders and grabbing up the fishing poles.
"But, hey at least I get the better end of the deal. You still have the joy and honor of cleaning all the fish I catch. You sure you don't want to give me a kiss for?" Zurna leaned towards him, offering Kaven her cheek by placing a finger on it.
Kaven smiled innocently as he saw Zurna drink the tea in annoyance. "That's alright," he said sweetly, holding his hands out to the fire. "I'll just warm up over here instead - it's more important that you get a drink, if you're that thirsty."
Confronted by her cheek so close to him, he lost the satisfied smirk and frowned slightly, momentarily thrown off his track. "Of course I want to, my princess," he gave an honest answer, then grinned again. "But I have a bet to win, so that want will have to go unfulfilled."
She sighed forlornly and pulled away. "Well if you're sure then. Just don't be forcin' yourself now. If you need some lovin' I'm just 'round the bed," Zurna informed him laying the tundra accent on heavy. 'This shouldn't take long. He's already slipping. Hmm, what to do though with a day of him as mine? I'll be thinking about that while I wait for the fish to bite. Oh just you wait Kaven, I'll have so many fish your fingers are going to be sore from cleaning them.'
Shouldering the poles she whistled to herself and took off with a little hop and a skip in her step. A sparkle lit up her eyes as she devised plans to make Kaven jealous and willing to lose. Plopping herself cheerfully upon a stone in the middle of the water and set about fishing. For a while she hummed tunelessly until she felt a song dancing on her lips, begging to be let out.
Snapping her fishing pole to send the hook adrift, she burst out into nonsensical song.
[center:3dcvyd7p]"I know a tale of a fish in the sea
and he danced with me
and he sang with me
and he said to me
'I won't be a meal for thee.'
Oh I knew a fish
I knew a fish
I knew a fish
a fish of the sea!
So I took my hook
and I took my line
and I took my sinker
and I said to him
'We shall see you lil' stinker!'
Oh I knew a fish
I knew a fish
I knew a fish
a fish of the sea!"[/center:3dcvyd7p]
Laughing the tug of the line had her throwing a fish up onshore before continuing with more fishing and more singing.
Kaven laughed as Zurna exaggerated her accent and teased him, waving her away. "I think I'll be fine, but I'll keep that in mind," he grinned as she returned to the water, and began to focus properly on the fish that he was cooking.
Soon, the sounds of her singing reached him and he smiled fondly, listening to the nonsensical words. Her cheerful singing would have prompted him to go over and kiss her, if he had not had to remind himself of their current bet. This is going to be a long few days... if either of us last that long, he thought, chuckling to himself. He had the feeling that he would lose this bet, as the more impulsive of the two of them, but that would be alright, really.
"Better hurry up!" he called over his shoulder to her, as he reached for the fish that she had caught. "These will be cooked soon, and we'll have to make do with one fish!" He cleaned it deftly, if with some distaste, and placed it next to the other on the fire.
Employing an older fishing technique of catching multiple fish at once, in no time at all Zurna had six more fish in hand and was making her way back over to Kaven. She dropped them beside him with a heavy thud and sat so close their knees were nearly touching.
The mischievous young woman leaned close to his ear and whispered, "do I get a kiss for a job well-done? That makes four fish for each of us should our bellies be so inclined. If you give up the bet now Kaven, I'll help you clean the fish," she cajoled. 'He can't resist that offer!' A smirk curled her lips as she turned to taunting. "Who's the slave now?"
Kaven raised his eyebrow as Zurna sat close to him, and eased away slightly to increase the distance between them. He wasn't about to lose this bet by accident!
Likewise, he gently leaned away when she whispered into his ear, and smiled serenely. "You have done a wonderful job, indeed. But surely you don't need a kiss from me to tell you that? As for the fish... well... it would benefit you as much as me if you helped to clean them - we can eat faster then."
He grinned at her and took one of the fish - carefully - and began preparing it, curious as to whether she would help or not.
"Ye who was once so free with kisses for no real reason has become stingy when there is real reason. Men," she sighed, shaking her head. "Oh ho, help? You lost that bet. Is this how you will act when I win the next? Such a sore loser you are. You know Kaven, I can clean four fish in the time it takes you to clean one. If I was really hungry I would help you but, I'm content to watch you. There is a very soothing quality about watching a men hard at work. Besides, how fair is it for me to catch, clean and cook the fish?"
Zurna laid back, pillowing her head with her hands. "I think I'll just watch the clouds while you work. You know, just get a taste of what if feels like to have you as my slave with me having nothing to do but have you wait on and care for me." Giving a soft content sigh, she closed her eyes and smiled.
"That's fine, Zurna. You just lie down and get some rest." Kaven smiled, ever-patient. "I will clean and cook the fish for you. You will need all of your energy to keep yourself from giving in to your burning desires for me."
He grinned and continued preparing the fish, cleaning them methodically before putting them onto the fire. Every so often he glanced over to Zurna, but never caught her looking over at him.
As he placed the last fish on the fire he smiled to himself and picked up a handful of snow. Quietly, he held his fist above Zurna's face, trickling the snow down onto her.
As Kaven worked, Zurna dozed off into the world of dreams. She did not even notice what he was doing until she felt cold wet sprinkles landing on her face. "Kaven, I think it's-oh." She had sat up and opened her eyes to discover what he had been doing. "You know the only burning desire I have right now is to knock that silly grin off your face. But, if I didn't know better I'd say you're jealous of the snow Kaven. Afterall, it gets to touch me all it wants and you don't. Now don't you worry dearest, you can give up anytime you like. I'll even be lenient if you do so now."
He laughed at Zurna's confusion, but dropped the rest of his handful of snow back onto the ground. "Morning," he said, sickly-sweet as she threatened him.
"Oh, I'm still surviving." He reached out to take the first two fish off the fire. "It's been less than an hour since I last touched you, surely you don't think my self-control is that poor? I certainly don't think that badly of you!" Shrugging, he offered her one of the fish, holding it by one end of the spit so that she could take it safely.
"Now, another couple of hours, then we'll see." He winked.
"Aye and I seem to remember that you couldn't stop touching me less than an hour ago. But, I guess that's all in the past. I'll just keep waiting; I'm in no rush." Eying the fish Zurna came up with two ideas. First she leaned forward and took a bite of it as Kaven held the spit. She looked up at him from the corner of her eye. "Just testing to see what it'll feel like to have an entire day of this."
She took the spit from him and tore a small part off with her fingers. "Open," she instructed holding the piece in front of his lips. "You should at least get a chance to know what you'll be missing tomorrow," the young woman teased cheerfully.
Trying to avoid letting Zurna's words bother him, Kaven didn't respond to her taunting. He rolled his eyes as she ate from the spit. "I suppose it's good that you get a chance to experience that now... because it won't be happening again any time soon." He let her take the spit though, watching curiously as she tore the meat off.
"Oh, a sneak preveiw. Nice." He smiled and opened his mouth only a tiny bit. Just enough for her to get the food in without touching him... if she was very careful.
Zurna rolled her eyes in turn and with the well-practiced ease of a woman used to feeding finicky babies, she popped the fish into his mouth without touching him or dropping any. She pulled her hand away to suck the grease off her fingers, her eyes never leaving his as they seemed to say "see what you're missing."
"So tell me," she began, settling back to give Kaven some space and peace, "what shall we do after lunch? It seems my family has given us the day to ourselves. We don't really need any fish at home and we ourselves will have eaten our fill soon enough. There isn't much in the way of chores to do and to be honest I'm not very interested in heading back when there is abet to be won. It's warm enough that Equi should be alright for now."
She chuckled to herself and dug into her lunch with fervor. Every so often she would look over to Kaven and wait to catch his eye before smiling or winking and going back to eating.
"I'm sure we'll think of something to do... if you want to just give up on the bet now, I can think of several somethings." Kaven smiled and followed her lead in turning back to his lunch, allowing his gaze to be caught every so often.
As he finished eating he leaned back, feeling comfortably full from the fish. Making a sort of pillow from his furs he lay back on the ground, gazing up to the sky above. It was a bright grey with thin clouds covering much of the sky, and it looked like snow would descend on them later. For now, though, they were probably safe, and he felt peaceful.
"Why don't you tell me a story?" he requested, returning to the honest, simple way of speaking he normally used with Zurna. No trace of the bet was in his voice now.
"Tell me about your life growing up. I want to hear about baby Zurna, and your brothers." He smiled.
"A story?" she asked slowly. Having finished her meal she sat watching Kaven and trailing her fingers throught the snow. "Well, I don't think I ever told you about how I came to be the only daughter of twenty-six siblings. You see it's not really a normal tale and there are different versions of it."
Clearing her throat she sat up straight and jumped into the telling. "This is telling of my coming to this world told to me by my mother. Nearly two decades ago there was a woman by the name of Minali who desperately wanted a daughter. For though she was a proud mother of twenty-five children, she did not have a single girl-child among them. While she prayed for such a babe, her husband and eldest sons went to sea to fish. For a month they stayed away and when they returned, a precious bundle did they have among them. Manaia had answered Minali's prayers and sent her a daughter, found adrift on the sea. The little one was but a month old, the same age as Minali's son. She took the child within her arms and the little girl opened her eyes and smiled. The babe grew to a girl and the girl to a woman that now sits in the snow telling her story to a man she rather likes."
Zurna blushed and rubbed at her neck as if to distract from what she had just said. "But, if you listen to the tale Yotar will tell, you'll here that I am my father's child by blood. Apparently my father is quite the fisherman and managed to attract the attention of all manner of lady seamonsters." She laughed, shaking her head. "Every telling is different. One year I was the daughter of a mermaid that had found her frozen way to my father's ship. Another year I was the child of sea serpent which would explain my wicked tongue. That was the year Yotar got mad that I can do this," she curled her tongue, "and he cannot."
The young woman shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "There really aren't many stories to tell about my growing up. We learn to fish, to hunt, to survive. We have our moments of fun but they are forgotten in the learning. My childhood just ended a bit earlier than everyone else's. What of you, what interesting stories are you hiding in that head of yours?" Zurna was trying to switched the conversation away from herself. She feared a return of Ezra or even worse, her having to talk about more personal things. While she liked to believe she was a very open and bubbly individual she was also a more guarded and private person than most people gave her credit for being.
Kaven listened intently to Zurna's tale, captured by the intrigue and the eloquent way in which she told it. It sounded almost like an old bardic tale, or one that would be found in the libraries of Serendipity. The perfect mystery. He smiled slightly to himself at this thought, letting them lapse into silence for a few minutes after she finished speaking.
"What a fascinating tale. So you don't know which is the truth, and which are the myths?" He thought it over for a little while longer, still gazing up at the sky. "Either way, you are truly your mother's child." He grinned as he thought of Minali's teasing that morning, comparing it to Zurna's own wit.
"As for my stories... have I ever told you how I met Equi?" He craned his neck round to look her her and disengaged one hand, patting the snow beside him. "Come, and I'll tell you."
She shook her head in response but later smiled at his comment about her mother. "Thank you," she whispered quietly. "No," Zurna continued, "you never told me. I guess I just assumed you have always had him. Is it an exciting tale? Did you have some form of adventure acquiring him?" Her interest was perked. It did not take much of Kaven's beckoning before she was sitting close, eyes wide and focused in attention.
"I'm not sure it's exciting - nor was there an adventure, strictly speaking." Kaven smiled as Zurna questioned him, laying his head back on his arms when she came close by. "But it's a nice enough story, and it reminds me of his youth."
"It was about ten years ago, maybe a few months more," he began slowly. "I was about fifteen years old at the time, and was always busy in the forests. We were poor - the whole village was poor - but my mother had been ill so we were struggling a little. I had taken to spending a lot of time in the woods, hunting and setting traps to catch meat for our meals."
He paused and settled more comfortably into his furs, looking up to check on Zurna, that she wasn't bored yet.
"One day, I was going about my business, checking the snares I had set, when I heard screaming. It was high-pitched and unrelenting, and it was awful. It didn't sound like a child... it had an unearthly quality. Of course I dropped everything and hurried to find it. By the time I'd found my way through the woods, the screaming had stopped, but there was a terrible sense of pain in the air. You know how I sense these things," he explained.
"When I broke through a clump of trees, I was greeted by the sight of a young horse on it's side. It was no more than a yearling, and beautiful. But from the point of his shoulder, all the way round to the breast, was cut open. He had obviously been mauled by some creature, and that attack was the screaming I had heard. This little thing, tiny and lean, was lying on those leaves, bleeding all over them, and looked up at me. He was terrified.
When I saw that, what could I do but take him home?" Kaven broke off and glanced back towards Zurna, to make sure that she was still interested in the story before he continued.
'Sense things? What does he mean by that? I know about his dream-weaving, is that what he is talking about? Maybe if I remember I can ask him later.' She was completely enthralled and wrapped up in his story-telling. Zurna made all the right concerned sounds and faces at the appropriate places. Her began to slowly lean closer and closer as she became more interested and worried.
"Oh the poor thing!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands over her teary eyes. "You did take him home right? What happened? Did he recover right away? Poor, poor Equi." She said it all so quickly that she found her chest heaving for breath at the end. "Well? Go on! There is more to this story. Don't leave me hanging!"
Kaven smiled as he saw how involved Zurna was, softening at the tears that came into her eyes. He almost reached out to squeeze her hand, but stopped himself from moving just in time.
"I did take him home," he continued, slipping back into the memory. "I picked him up and carried him all the way back to the village. By the time I got back, we were both covered in blood and ready to collapse, and I hadn't brought any game home. My mother took one look at us and just shook her head." He laughed. "Luckily, we had an old cow shed at the back of our house, a remnant from a long time ago. I set him up in there, with bedding borrowed from a friend, and set to work. I was up with him all night, cleaning the wound, packing it with mosses to staunch the blood flow. The poor baby was in so much pain, but he was so quiet."
"It was touch and go for a long time. Infection set in, but thank the gods it never got into his blood, or I'd probably have lost him." His voice wavered slightly. "But I kept treating it with the medicines I carry with me, kept it clean, and kept him calm. And eventually, about a month later, it began to heal. The moment he could stand unaided, he was off like a shot. Don't forget, he was a wild pony, and he remained like that. He ran into the forest before I could stop him."
"I didn't see him again for six months. By then I'd given up looking, and given up hope of finding him. We were a little better off by now, so I hadn't been into the forest as much. But one day, I did go in, and I was greeted by this little creature. If there was a way he could have been even smaller than before, then he was. He was thin - all skin and bones, except for an abcess over the cut. Clearly it hadn't healed properly - there wasn't a scar, just a huge abcess over the wound."
He sighed. "Well I took him home again, and cleaned him up. Then I did the worst thing I've ever done. I took a knife, pierced the abcess so I could drain it, and re-opened the wound." He grimaced. "I had to, so that I could sew it closed, as you would with a human injury. I've never forgotten his scream then, but ultimately it helped him heal. I fed him up and kept him caged until he was safe, then let him go.
But he never went, not really." Kaven's grimace slowly turned to a fond smile. "He stayed in the trees around the forests for a long time until he learned to trust me properly, but eventually we bonded, and took up together. It's been love ever since."
Zurna worried her lip until it was raw as she listened on edge. She winced at hearing of the infection setting in but laughed at Equi's fleeing. 'Well he obviously returned,' she mused, glancing to the sweet horse on the edge of the camp.
"Oh no!" It bothered her greatly to hear of the beautiful horse's worsening state upon Kaven's new meeting. However, when it came to the telling of the abscess she did not even flinch. Her head nodded distractedly as her fingers subconsciously ran up and down a hidden scar across her left arm. 'Poor baby, I know how painful that is. Silly thing should have stayed with Kaven. He's such a good healer and caregiver.'
She clapped her hands slowly at the tales end and smiled softly. "You did right by him. To earn a hurt animal's trust not once but twice is amazing. You are amazing." Zurna sighed sadly. "Now I wish you hadn't banned me from Equi," she pouted forlornly. "Remind me when you lose that he's getting a big BIG hug from me."
Kaven laughed at Zurna's pout. "What about me - don't I deserve a hug?" He pouted right back at her, mimicking her expression. "It was traumatic for me too! Even if I wasn't the injured one... I was in love with him a long time before he returned the feeling."
Grinning, he sat up and stretched. "Besides, the last thing that that horse needs is more attention. Everyone we meet coos over him - man, woman, child - even half of the soldiers want to take him home with them. He'll develop an ego if I'm not careful."
"Although, he doesn't normally take to them as much as they do to him. He'd never let anyone else settle him for the night, before we came here."
"No," she replied heatedly. "I can relate to his injury whereas as far as I know, you can't. Besides his ego needs as much boosting as it can get in order to catch up to yours. While he may get all the attention, he is humble enough gently brush it aside instead of soaking it up like a dirty rag."
Zurna cracked her jaw and smirked. "Sound familiar to anyone you may know?" Laughing, she jumped to her feet and bounced over to the horse, making sure to keep her hand in plain sight to Kaven behind her back. "Who's a big brave boy, hmm?" She glanced surreptitiously over her shoulder and then raised a finger to her lips. "Shh, Equi don't tell daddy but he's a big meanyhead who let your best, best friend give you a hug. Isn't that terrible," she pouted, sniffling to keep tears at bay.
"Nice to know you think so highly of me," Kaven replied with a wry smile, twisting to see Zurna going over to Equi, who had been quietly grazing a little way off. He grinned as he heard her tease the pony, looking on at them fondly.
"Can you see the scar, now that you know the story?" Right on cue Equi turned sideways, tossing his head to give Zurna a clear view of his shoulder. It was marred by a long, wide scar. The scar was healed beautifully and well blended in to his skin, and covered well by the dark hair, but it was there nonetheless.
As Kaven finished speaking Equi whinnied gently, suddenly thrusting his nose at Zurna's chest.
Zurna leaned close to the scar and cooed over it. But, she did not have much time before Equi was thrusting his face at her. "Hey!" she cried trying to move away. Unfortunately the equine was faster and nuzzled his face against her, demanding attention.
"Bu-i-th-," she fumbled looking over to Kaven. "It's not my fault! He touched me, I didn't touch him." Zurna raised her hands higher above her head in proof. The glaring she turned back to the horse. "Equi, you lose! You touched me first!"
Giggling, the young woman gave up the pretense and turned to Kaven. "Since he lost does that mean I can pet him now?" Her eyes widened in a look of childlike pleading. "Please?"
Kaven laughed as he watched Zurna with the pony, rolling his eyes as Equi demanded attention from her. "Oh, I suppose you can." He grinned. "Seeing as how he didn't really agree to this bet, I suppose we can't hold him to it. Besides, the daft creature will sulk soon, if he doesn't get any attention."
As he said this, Equi was nuzzling at Zurna's hair and nudging at her shoulder. Kaven was right, the pony had no interest in their politics, but it had been far too long since Zurna had played with him. He let out a soft snort into Zurna's hair, and Kaven sighed resignedly.
"Go on, then."
She watched Kaven closely as she slowly moved her arms towards Equi. It was as if she was waiting for him to trick her and revoke the allowance. Beaming when she realized he truly meant it, Zurna tightly wrapped her arms around the pony's neck and snuggled into him.
"Aww Equi, I didn't get my hug from you this morning. I missed you so much! But you can blame your master for that because Kaven was being an ass," she stated matter of factly. Zurna giggled as the horse nosed her and ruffled her hair.
Content, she sighed and moved her hands away to brush at his neck and shoulders. "Mm, such a good boy. When we get home I'll give you a treat for being the best snuggler in the world!" Laughing again she rewound her arms around his neck and gave him another hug. "See Kaven, I told you I wouldn't need your kisses. I've got Equi!"
Sighing as he was insulted, Kaven flopped back down onto the snow as Zurna was getting reacquainted with Equi. "Don't make me regret it!" he called over as she teased him, smiling to himself.
"He won't be so free with those kisses once he gets fed, I'm warning you now! And I don't think you'd like cuddling with him at night, so much." Kaven was laughing, but he realised he hadn't thought about the night-time. If either of them lasted that long, it could be a lonely night if they weren't allowed to touch.
Casting the thought aside for now, he closed his eyes, ignoring the clouds that were coming in closer to them. It looked like snow was more imminent now.
"Don't talk about what you don't know Kaven," she jested back. "You never know maybe the twins and I will camp out together with Equi and leave you with the rest of the boys." She stuck her tongue out at him and then when his eyes were shielded from her she dropped her guard and really looked at him. 'Four days and I think I'm in love. We fight, we hug, we play, we kiss, we tease, and we laugh. He has seen my dark and I his light. Is this what it's like for Yotar? I've never understood. I still don't think I do. Will you break my heart? Or worse, will I break yours? I hope not. I really hope not.'
Quietly she led Equi over to the resting man and nudge the horse to kneel and settle right beside Kaven. Taking her large wrap off she gently threw it over them both before also laying at the pony's other side and pulling the end around her. Nestling in against the horse's warmth she smiled a hidden smile. "There Kaven, now you can share him too," she whispered, looking up at the sky. 'It's going to snow again. Oh Manaia, I hope it's not one of those bad storms. We should head back.' Zurna opened her mouth to speak and then thought better of it. 'Enjoy the moment Z. You'll leave soon enough before it hits. Who knows how much longer this peaceful stillness will last.
Apart from a good-natured grin, Kaven ignored Zurna's joke, deciding to take the high road - for now. Hearing her bring Equi over he opened his eyes, smiling up at her as she cloaked all three of them in the wrap. He sat up and snuggled in against the warmth, leaning against Equi's strong sides. "Thank you, my princess," he murmured in response to her whisper.
Now comfortable, with the light dimming as the clouds rolled in, he felt his eyes closing again. He hadn't had much sleep the night before, and what he had had, had been disturbed by dreams and torment. There, with his head against Equi's neck, he dropped into a light doze.
Zurna was quick to follow him into sleep. She only woke again when her body shook itself awake from the dropping temperature. Her hand brushed something wet off her face and she tried to go back to sleep. Lazily she blinked her eyes open and closed. The young woman was just settling back into sleep when her brain caught on to what was happening. 'The storm!'
The cold had made her mind and body lethargic making the rise to her feet a true struggle. "Come on, Equi. Get up, we need to get moving before we can't. Come on boy," she encouraged, trying to get him to rise. She did not wait to see if he obeyed and hurried to the dozing man.
"Kaven!" Her hands gently but urgently shook his shoulders. "Kaven we need to go. Now! The storm is coming fast and we'll freeze if we're caught in it. The temperature's already dropping rapidly. Come on, we need to get home." Zurna took the wrap they had been using as a blanket and draped it over Equi's back to try and keep him warm. She gritted her teeth against the cold and cast worried glances to the sky. 'Please Manaia let us make it.'
"Wha...?" Kaven found himself roused out of a peaceful slumber by the gentle touch of hands on his shoulders. Hearing Zurna's voice his hand automatically went to meet hers, until his body registered the cold. His eyes snapped open as he began to make sense of what she was saying and he scrambled to his feet.
"The storm?" He gazed up at the iron sky as he gathered the fishing equipment. He had been expecting that it would snow, of course, but not a full-blown storm. He still would have brushed it off, but Zurna's level of urgency was infectious. Storms here in the tundra must be much more serious than those he was used to.
"Right, let's go." Everything collected up, Kaven hurried over to Equi. He slung a length of rope over the his neck to use as a guide-rope. He never harnessed the pony or put a bridle on him, but if they were going to get caught in a storm he would need to keep hold of the creature. Tying it into a loose knot he turned to Zurna, nodding to show that he was ready.
"Lead the way."
She firmly took Kaven's hand within her own. "Whatever you do, don't let go of me," she commanded urgently. Zurna was having trouble focusing she was so cold. It took her a moment to remember which way home was. 'I should have gotten us up the moment I knew it was coming.'
"This way." Pulling him along, Zurna began to make her way back. The snow was already becoming deep and in places frozen. Several times she slipped and fell or had the hardened snow give out under her weight. Chilling winds whistled past them blowing the heavier falling snow into their faces. "Kaven," she tried yelling over the winds. "I can't see!"
A cracking sound underneath her feet had her freezing in place. It felt like the earth was shifting and moving beneath them. 'Oh Manaia no!' Zurna had taken them off-course, confused by the shifting landmarks being buried and changed by the storm. "Don't move!" she screamed as the wind stole her voice from her. Zurna's heart beat wildly in her chest as fear of both the past and present plagued her. 'The ice lake, we'll never make it.'
There was no way of knowing how far out they had moved and with the ice creaking beneath her feet, she did not want to take the chances of moving. In the deep recesses of her mind a metal door froze and shattered as the trapped being within let out an unholy scream.
Kaven shivered as they walked, clinging on to Zurna's hand. Their slow progress made him anxious, as he held his breath every time he lunged forwards to save Zurna from falling. He was slipping himself, unused to walking in such conditions, and it was all he could do to hold on to Equi's rope. The pony could be heard faintly over the wind, whinnying in alarm as the snow swirled around them.
He heard the crack just as Zurna did, and stopped still. He threw out an arm to keep Equi back, screaming for him to stop. He stood stock still as he assessed the situation, quickly realising where they were. Gods, what now?
"We need to go back," he shouted, feeling his throat hoarse as he battled against the wind. "Slowly!"
"But which way? We're lost! Kaven I don't know which way is back anymore, we've gotten so turned around!" Zurna was trying so hard to keep from getting hysterical but, memories of standing on this very frozen lake as a child made the task nearly impossible. Her hand gripped his tighter as she tried to stay grounded.
Slowly she inched her foot towards him, gently shifting her weight in an effort to be closer to him. The ice gave another might crackling sound and she froze again. "If we go the wrong way we'll run into Matukyuu territory. In this storm we'll never have a chance." She could barely hear herself above the howling wind and wondered if Kaven could. They were but an arm's length away and yet she could not even see across that distance to see his face.
"Justice, don't you think Z, dying the same would you should when you killed me?" her heart beat faster and ears rung with his words. 'Ezra, I locked you away. Go back!'
"Not on your life. I'm here to see you die."
Despite her own decision to stay put, Zurna felt her feet take her closer out on the ice to Kaven. 'No! The closer we get the harder it will be for the ice to maintain our weight. Stop this!' Cruel laughter filled her mind, making her want to scream.
"It's alright, it's going to be alright." It was hard to sound reassuring when you had to shout, but Kaven tried anyway. He held her hand tight and leaned in towards her ear, careful not to move his feet. "Equi is still on the bank - he hasn't come onto the ice yet. If we just move backwards we can get back onto land, and then we're safer."
He looked down cautiously, trying to make out the tracks they had made on the ice. He could just about see the large dark form of Equi standing some way off, at the other end of the rope that he held tight.
"Go backwards! Slowly... just slide your feet." He shouted to Zurna again, tugging at her hand as he began to follow his own advice, sliding carefully and gently backwards. He knew the bank wasn't far off - so long as they didn't lose their heads, they could be on land within seconds.
Zurna never heard Kaven's words and did not know that they were now moving in opposite directions until her arm was jerked back by his movement. Unbalanced, she slipped and fell smacking hard into the ice. Spider-cracks began to span radially outward from where she laid. Panicking, she tried to scramble to her feet but only succeeded in getting to her knees before the ice broke and she fell through.
Plunged into the icy depths, her body went into shock and she gasped for air that was not for the taking. Large mouthfuls of water filled her lungs as the weight of cloths dragged her down. In her mind she saw a pair of tiny hands wrap around her throat and begin to choke her. 'Ezra no! Kaven!'
One minute, he was nearly back to solid ground; the next, he was plunging though jagged ice into the freezing water. Shocked, Kaven didn't even register the rip that opened in his sleeve as his weight tore a new hole in the ice, nor the blood that blossomed from the resulting cut. He had thrown out his arm as he fell and managed to cling on to the edge of the hole, holding on desperately.
His resolve was shattered when he realised with horror that Zurna was not beside him, nor holding on to his hand. He grasped for the rope that lay snaked across the ice, dropped when he fell, and pulled it over. Dropping the tip of it into the water to act as a guide he took a deep breath and released his hold on the ice, diving down into the arctic water.
He was half-blind underwater, hands reaching out desperately for Zurna. It was luck that led him to the hood of her cloak. From there he grasped her shoulders and hooked his hands under her arms to pull her up. It was hard work, kicking against the weights that pulled them both down, but he managed to retrieve her and surface, gasping, into the frigid air. Using up his last reserves of strength, he lifted her up and pushed her half onto the ice.
The last thing Zurna would remember of this whole affair was a hand coming for her through the water before complete darkness overtook her vision. When Kaven pulled her back up on shore she was not breathing. Water filled her lungs and she lay there unmoving, cold as death. Her lips and hands held a deep blue tinge to them. Even her cheeks did not hold their usual rosy blush to them.
Straining on Equi's rope, Kaven somehow managed to pull himself onto the ice, bit by bit. Torso lying on the ice, with his legs still in the water, he stopped and gasped for air, instead being met by a freezing mouthful of snow and wind. Seeing Zurna's still body sped him on and he managed to clamber out of the hole, pulling her with him. It seemed all he could do to turn her onto her back, but he knew he couldn't give up.Think, Kaven, think he instructed himself through the shaking that tore through his frozen body, and slowly, memories of the dockyards swam into his mind.
Gently tilting her head to the side to let the water drain out of it, he lowered his mouth to hers and strongly breathed into her lungs. He did this with as much regularity as he could manage, pausing every four breaths to check her pulse.
Come on Zurna... he thought desperately, lifting his head to check for any sign of breathing.
The young woman came back to consciousness coughing and sputtering as she tried to expel all of the water that had taken residence within her lungs. For a while she lay on the frozen ground gasping and heaving. Each inhalation was a fight to breath as the wind continued to steal it back from her.
Zurna's teeth chattered and her whole body shook as the shock of being in the water became worse with the cold air. Already the water in her clothes and hair began to freeze in the frigid temperatures. "S-s-so c-c-cold," she whimpered between cracked and bleeding lips. She tried to bring her arms up to her chest to preserve what little warmth she had but found that they were so numb that she had little control over them at all. Giving in to exhaustion she began to close her eyes again. 'So tired.'
As Zurna spluttered, Kaven heaved the biggest sigh of relief that he could muster in his condition, moving away from her to give her space. Cautiously getting to his knees, he continued sliding the both of them along the ice, trying to spread their weight out as much as possible. When he finally felt the solid ground beneath them, and heard Equi's snort of welcome, he let himself fall back onto the ground beside her, clutching at her hand.
"Zurna!" He sat back up, alarmed as her eyes flickered closed. "Don't fall asleep... you can't!" He hoisted her up into a sitting position, rubbing her hands frantically. "Don't you dare fall asleep on me!"
Above him, Equi was whinnying frantically, terrified of the storm and the state of the people below him. Desperate for help, he was rearing up, calling out above the howl of the wind.
"But, K-k-kaven I'm so t-tired. Please j-j-ju-j-j-just for a l-l-little bit?" she begged. Her chattering and shivering was getting worse. At the rate she was going, it would not be long before severe hypothermia set in if it had not already done so.
Her eyes danced about wildly. "Where are we K-kaven? Wh-w-why is it so c-c-cold? I wan' go...ho...ome" Zurna's breathing began to slow and heartbeat became fainter. Doe eyes closed for longer periods of time before reopening. "Ezra! Ezra, help!" she screamed deliriously, fighting at Kaven's hold on her, no longer seeming to recognize him or know when and where she was.
"No!" Kaven was forceful now, his terror and pain making him angry. "You can't sleep, you can't close your eyes." Suddenly remembering the blanket she had placed on Equi he tugged it down, wrapping it around her tightly. "We're in the snow, but we're going to be alright. All you have to do is stay awake, and I'll get us home."
He wasn't sure how that was going to happen, but it was. Somehow. He was about to try standing when Zurna's scream sent a chill through his bones.
"Zurna!" With a twinge of guilt, he slapped her cheek as she pulled away from him. It might not bring her to her senses, but at least the shock might help her to stay awake.
Frightened and dazed, Zurna cowered away from Kaven and buried her face in her arms. She had no idea what was going on even as the wind howled, tearing at the wrap he had encircled her in. Feeling trapped, she fought to throw it off and run. However, the cold of the water and now the snow and ice made her weak and uncoordinated.
As Zurna fought a small light began to glow in the distance like a firefly. Slowly it came closer and grew larger until two larger dark shapes could be seen behind it. The figures hurried over and revealed themselves to be Tarogato and another man. While the man latched onto Zurna and swept her up into his arms, Tarogato moved quickly over to Kaven and Equi. "Mother got worried!" he shouted over the wind. "Take the rope and tie it around your waist," he continued, handing Kaven the aforementioned rope. "It's tethered back home so we can follow it back." The two newcomers nodded to each other before the other man took the lead and Tarogato followed, keeping a hand on the rope around his waist and carrying the lantern to provide them with the little amount of light it would provide.
So relieved as the light came closer, Kaven let himself collapse into the snow. He was dazed and confused by the time the two men arrived, but lucid enough to recognise Tarogato and understand his words. Mutely he followed instructions, tying the rope around his waist with fumbling fingers. It took him a while to stand, shaking on unsteady legs and clinging to Equi's mane for balance.
It was like this was he followed the other man, stumbling along during the snow. For most of the time he had his eyes closed against the blinding whiteness of the tundra, and only occasionally managed to open them.
The odd quintet finally made it back to Zurna's home just as the snow began to turn to hail. The man who the others called Palendag carried her into the main tent. The triplets made an appearance and took Kaven by the shoulders, leading him also to the main tent as other brothers took Equi. Tarogato, knowing that the man might protest it, headed him off by telling him his healing knowledge may be needed to care for Zurna.
"The clock is ticking, Kaven. Z's time is running out. The horse will be fine but she may not!" Inside the tent most of the gathering family, oddly enough stayed to the outer edges of the tent and away from Zurna. Even the little twins kept still and quiet on their bedroll. Minali worked quickly to remove her daughter's wet clothes, not caring for the propriety of privacy. One of the men handed Kaven a change of clothes and directed him to a closed-off part of the tent where he could change.
Now wrapped up in furs, and placed close by the fire, Minali began to rub a thick greasy salve into Zurna's bare chest in an attempt to help her body recover its core temperature. The entire family watched on silently. Each leading a hand when needed before retreating back into place. The concern was a thick fog within the room so palpable it was if one could taste its bitterness.
Kaven was too numb to resist being herded into the tent; he did little more than look back towards Equi as he was shuffled into the tent. He remained silent as he took the spare clothes and went to change - undressing methodically and carefully. He redressed in much the same way, pulling the clothes on as if he had learned the movements by heart.
He still hadn't spoken when he crossed the room, sinking down onto his knees next to Minali. He held out his hand towards her, showing a small glass bottle of brown liquid. It was a remedy he'd picked up in Serendipity's mountains - a hot, peppery fluid that warmed from within, used on those suffering from the 'cold fever' that often plagued them. He offered it to Minali now, hoping that she would understand.
Minali looked up from her work at the man in front of her. For a moment she just stared at the bottle and then nodded her head slowly. "It would be best if ye applied it. I would not know the correct dosage, your knowledge would be greatly helpful in this matter." The old woman bowed her head in respect and acknowledgement to Kaven and moved back a bit out of his way.
Wiping the salve off her hands, she gently combed her fingers through her daughter's hair. A brief look of worry crossed her features before she slammed a mask of indifference into place. Minali's hands would not keep still as should moved them from hair to hands and worked at bringing warmth back into her limbs. She beckoned the little ones to come over and do the same for Zurna's legs.
Zurna herself, lay there quietly. Her chest rose and fell evenly but her body shook fiercely as it fought to keep warm. Her mother spoke to her, trying to keep her awake but, she barely heard the words. They came to her through a fog and in the middle of that fog was Ezra sitting on her chest and trying to suffocate her. "You will always be mine!"
Kaven nodded as Minali spoke and moved beside Zurna. As he uncorked the bottle he held up three fingers to Minali, signalling that three drops should be used. He waited respectfully until Zurna's mother had moved down to attend to her hands and limbs, then gently raised Zurna's head up. He rested it on his lap, stroking hair away from her face for a moment before holding the bottle up to her lips.
He used only a gentle force to open her lips to receive the medicine, letting one, two, three drops roll into her mouth. Corking the bottle, he massaged her throat to encourage her to swallow, then set the bottle aside and watched her worriedly. While effective, the liquid was fiery to drink, and he had experienced its burning taste himself.
Zurna swallowed mechanically under Kaven's guidance as she was not truly aware of her surroundings. Then deep within the fog a hot coal began to grow, gaining both size and intensity until it was burning both her and Ezra both. The boy screamed in her mind and vanished into a black vapor, his words still ringing in her ears as she felt her body burn from the inside out.
With a gasp, she bolted upright and back into awareness. The furs slid down her shoulders and pooled around her waist as she fought for air, her hands clawing at her throat. "It burns!" she croaked, eyes tearing up. Minali tried soothing her daughter, but Zurna was not having it. "Make it stop," she cried over and over, rocking in place and clawing at her skin.
The distraught mother turned pleading eyes to Kaven. 'Help her,' they said without accusation. 'You can fix this. She needs you.' All of Zurna's brothers watched on in tense silence, waiting for him to do something. Theirs were the eyes filled with a lack of understanding and true accusations. Yet even then, their expressions portrayed a hope and a belief that Kaven could change this and help their beloved little sister.
It was Palendag who reacted first in those tense seconds while the rest of his family did nothing. With great care and gentleness that seemed uncharacteristic with his brooding expressions and terse silence, he rewrapped the blankets tightly around Zurna and rubbed her back. Bright blue eyes turned to bore into Kaven. "Please," he said in a deep voice. "Help her. She trusts you. Please."
Kaven looked around uncertainly, stress showing on his face. He met the mistrusting faces of Zurna's brothers, the desperate one of her mother, and tried to bring himself together. He didn't know why Zurna was burning so, or how to fix it, not really, but he still had one or two defences left.
Scrabbling in his kit back he produced some soft leaves, lush and green even though they had been picked months before. Their veins carried a cooling, soothing sap that could draw out infection and fever from the inside out. they wouldn't do anything to help the cold fever, but at least she was awake and speaking now - this was more urgent. He had often used them with great effect on himself as well as patients, but Zurna would have to co-operate.
Dropping his gaze away from the accusing faces he held the handful of leaves out to Zurna, and spoke for the first time since they had been rescued. His voice was gravelly; hoarse.
"Eat these. You have to chew them well. But they will cool you."
Zurna took one look at the leaves and shoved them away. Crawling forward she curled up in his lap, pressed up against him as much as she could. Her body seemed to relax and her cries became soft sporadic hiccuping whimpers.
The smoke was clearing in her mind and with it the heat. A pleasant warmth replaced it, leaving her feeling safe and comfortable. Her favorite childhood memories surfaced, building a cocoon of false security. Zurna was laying on a bed of soft goose feathers with strong arms wrapped around her little waist. "See love, I told you we would always be together," a soothing masculine voice tickled her ear.
"Ezra," she whispered aloud with a smile as she snuggled in closer to Kaven.
Kaven barely had time to breathe a sigh of relief at Zurna's relaxation. So the liquid hadn't hurt her - it had just affected her more strongly than normally, for some reason. He let her crawl in beside him, pushing her hair away from her face, and was about to relax when the name slipped from her lips.
He started, his hand dropping to his side as he processed what she had said. His mouth twisted downwards in an unhappy pout and lost for words, he looked up, hoping to find a friendly face.
Minali smiled slightly at Kaven and patted him on the shoulder. "Thank ye, son. You did well." While she had not heard Zurna's mutter and moved on to chase some of the boys out, Palendag and Tarogato both did. The two men looked to each other, the first scowling as the other shrugged.
Tarogato patted his older brother on the shoulder before exiting the tent taking the twins with him and leaving the three figures by the fire in peace. "Even after all these years she still turns to him. It's disgusting," the brother finally spoke, breaking the silence. "That boy was not as she paints him. I have never once seen my sister so cowed before anyone until she met him. He had a way with words to compel her to follow and to obey. How he still has control over her from beyond the grave-" he growled and shook his head.
His eyes bored into Kaven's once more and he rose to his feet. "You take care of her boy. She doesn't need another Ezra who will break her down. You have proven your worth by saving her life and she in turn cares for you in my mind that is enough. Some of my other brothers may not agree but, for the time being you have my and Taro's support. I suspect some of the younger ones also give it. You have our permission but remember this," Palendag leaned in close, placeing his mouth at Kaven's ear. "You hurt her body, mind, or soul and you will not live long enough to see another day." Pulling away, the man gave one last glare before exiting the tent. Zurna and Kaven were alone at last.
Kaven sat in silence as Palendag spoke of Ezra, turning this new information over in his mind. So Ezra had not been the perfect child who Zurna spoke of...interesting. He flinched as the man leaned close, speaking directly into his ear, but held his steady position. As Palendag turned to leave he found his voice enough to send after him an affirmation:
"I will die before I hurt her."
As the tent flap swung shut, he sighed heavily and leaned forwards, looking at Zurna's sleeping body curled against him. Pulling a cloak over her he rearranged her to make her more comfortable, pulling her head into his lap gently. After a few minutes he reached for the letter that he had begun two days previously and resumed it, knowing that there was nothing to do now but wait for Zurna to awake.
In and out of sleep she rose and fell as she peacefully slept in Kaven's lap. She woke once long enough to watch him through her lashes. The look of engrossed concentration made her both love him more and slightly jealous of him and his letter. 'Maybe he will teach me when it's too cold to do much else but sleep and wait.' A sleepy smile tugged at her lips as she descended back into the world of dreams. "I love you," Zurna murmured just before sleep claimed her.
Down she plunged, lower and lower into the warmth of slumber. While her physical body clung to Kaven, her mind was enveloped by Ezra's dark presence. He whispered of the past and the future, talking of all the things they had done and all the things they would do together once she started feeling better. He spoke of winters snuggled up side by side with nothing to do but love each other. His honey tongue poisoned her by preying on her hopes and dreams.
But, outside of the miasma he created, Zurna's brows furrowed and her hands tightened on their physical link to reality. Her body began to stir as she whimpered but did not wake.
Zurna's voice pulled Kaven from the concentration he had fallen into over his letter. He glanced down and smiled at her peaceful face, ruffling her hair gently. "I love you too," he replied absent-mindedly, his thoughts turning back to the letter.
He wrote slowly and thoughtfully, taking time to suck at his pen as he considered his words, giving his sister a lengthy account of his travels to date. He skirted over the unpleasant incident in Connlaoth, though, not wishing her to be unduly alarmed. Soon, he reached the point where he should introduce Zurna to the letter, and paused.
He was still thinking when she began to whimper. He put the parchment down and turned his attentions to her, stroking her hair rhythmically but strongly. "Zurna..." he murmured her name, trying to recall her from whatever unhappiness she was experiencing.
"Mm, good morning," she hummed softly as she looked up at him and smiled. Zurna rolled slightly in his lap to give him a one-armed hug before settling back down again. "Thank you and I'm sorry. I should have gotten us home as soon as I realized the storm was coming. It's my fault you and Equi almost died. I'm sorry."
Zurna felt horribly guilty for what she had nearly caused. 'If I hadn't been so selfish and lazy this never would have happened. We wouldn't have fallen through the ice and-' Her brow crinkled in confusion. "Kaven how did we get home? I only remember you pulling me out of the ice." She blushed then as she recalled her foolishness.
"Morning, yourself," Kaven smiled and pushed her hair back from her face. "But your a few hours off."
He fell quiet as she questioned him, fiddling with her hair. "We were rescued, by two of your brothers. I got you out of the ice, and just as I was doing a terrible job of keeping you alive, they turned up. Picked you up and carted you home. Your mother changed you and warmed you up, and then you fell asleep."
He left out the rest of the events in the tent - the terrible guilt he had felt, the accusing eyes of her brothers as she choked on his medicine, the hours of confusion that followed their rescue until he had sorted through the events for himself.
Zurna sighed sadly. "My brothers," she repeated. A small hand slipped out of the warmth of her furs to brush against his cheek. "I hope they did not give you too much trouble. I know they can be unbearable on a good day." Her hand fell back down in defeat. "I'm sorry, so sorry."
Her heart ached over what she had done, forcing her to sit up and draw away from him. "I should get dressed," she whispered. As she stood, Zurna's foot stepped onto the cloths covering her and ended up tugging the furs off her left shoulder. For a brief moment the heavy bitemark scarring of teeth and claws could be seen in the flickering firelight. Then as quickly as it was shown, the young woman clutched the furs cloak close to hide it again.
'How he must hate me. I am a burden to him and my family. It was complete laziness and selfishness on my part that nearly got us killed. Mother must be so angry. I hope they didn't give him too hard a time. I will have to explain it later. This is all my fault. I am a disgusting excuse of humanity. How Kaven likes me is still a mystery. I killed my best friend, I nearly killed him, I survived two attacks that should have killed me. Manaia what do you want from me? Why do you keep me alive and make everyone else around me suffer?'
"No, don't worry, they said nothing." Kaven reassured her faintly. It was true that he hadn't been accused of anything, but the guilt that flooded his mind made it hard for him to remember what was true and what wasn't. And for some reason, the memories of the afternoon were blurred, shifting between the real and what must surely be imaginary.
He had looked away respectfully as she changed, and didn't notice her quick covering up. He rolled up his letter, for something to do with his hands, and waited for her to finish. "You have nothing to apologise for... what happened today was terrible luck, and not your fault. If anything, we should blame Equi, for being so comfortable that we fell asleep against him!" He laughed, a short but real laugh, and held out his hands to Zurna.
"Come and sit with me. Would you like to see what I have written for Sisi?"
Despite being dressed, she still felt somewhat cold and rewrapped Kaven's cloak about her shoulders. She made a sound of mild agreement to his joke about Equi, but the weak smile she gave never reached her eyes. Her heart was heavy with guilt and self-loathing. Zurna did not believe Kaven for a second that her brothers had not upset him or that being caught in the storm was not her fault. She kept her thoughts to herself though as she made her way back over to him.
Sitting down opposite him, Zurna could not help but wish that she was sitting much closer. The distance, she reasoned with herself, was to ensure her best behavior. She kept telling herself that it was punishment for being so foolish. 'I cannot afford to make such mistakes in the tundra. Slips like that cost lives. It is how I lost Ezra. I would never forgive myself if I lost them both.'
She shuddered slightly at the thought. "If you wish to," the woman finally replied, distractedly. "It's not like it would make much of a difference though. It only looks like a bunch of squiggles in a strange pattern." Thin shoulders shrugged weakly in depressed disinterest.
Kaven frowned unhappily as Zurna sat opposite him and shrugged disinterestedly. "Well, maybe I could teach you. Reading is easier to learn than writing, so I bet you'd pick it up quite quickly." He paused. "Of course, not if you don't want to, but I thought you might be interested."
He held out one hand to her, the other picking up his letter. "Anyway, you're in it now." He smiled fondly. "Perhaps you'd like to -"
His sentence was cut off by a violent sneeze that came before he would stifle it, and was followed by three more.
The faint smile that had begun to form at his offer quickly disappeared in a cloud of worry. His sneezing startled her, making her jump. Once she realized what it was, Zurna quickly moved over to his side and pressed a hand to his forehead. "Oh Kaven, you didn't look after yourself did you? You're getting sick!"
Tsking in disapproval she moved away from him to grab some medicine and put tea on the fire. Sitting close to him, Zurna wrapped a fur around them both and snuggled close. "Chew on these," she instructed handing him three green leaves. "I know they are a bit bitter but they will help. When the tea is ready we can both have some." She pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek briefly. "My poor hero, getting sick because of me."
"Oh, it was more important to get you up and about," Kaven said dismissively, waving Zurna away as she touched his forehead. He knew that the skin would be warm, feeling the beginnings of a fever coming on. He took the leaves though, sniffing them suspiciously before popping them into his mouth.
"Eugh. What are they?" He frowned as he chewed, face screwing up involuntarily at the bitter taste. He chewed them obediently as Zurna returned, accepting her soft kiss with a smile.
"Yes, 'your hero'. I like that." He grinned and sneezed again.
'Men, always so stubborn!' her mind growled as she rolled her eyes. "We call it stinkweed," she giggled. "It'll help for when the cold hits your chest. Keeps it from killing you." The concerned look returned again with his sneezing.
"Poor baby," Zurna cooed, pulling him lay against her. "I'll take care of you." Her fingers ran through his hair, nails gently scraping along his scalp. "I guess this is what I get for losing that bet earlier." A teasing light lit up her eyes once more as she remembered the start of their day before all hell broke loose for them. "How many this humble serve you my hero?"
"Stinkweed's a good name for it." Kaven swallowed and thoughtfully considered the taste left behind in his mouth, noting the exact flavours. Even now, as he was taking medicine for himself, he couldn't switch his healer's mind off. "I've never seen them... but if it's good, maybe I should try to get some. You'll have to show me where it grows someday."
He let himself be pulled back into Zurna, eyes closing in enjoyment as he felt her nails against his scalp. "I forgot about that..." he spoke lazily, but a smile played on his lips. "I suppose you did lose... though I'm glad you did! So I've got my own servant for a while... excellent..."
His smile turned into a grin and he settled closer into her, feeling the comfort of her warmth. "For now, you can keep doing that, it feels so good."
Zurna smiled indulgently down at him. "As my hero commands," she replied, continuing with her ministrations. "Just don't get used to it. You only get a day of this." Their shared warmth and the peaceful stillness was beginning to lull her back to sleep when the kettle sounded that the water was ready.
"Forgive me Kaven, I need to get the tea." Shifting away from him she quickly went about her work and returned with some for them both. When her back was turned to him though she made sure to grab her own handful of stinkweed and chew on some leaves. Already she was beginning to feel the cold heaviness in her chest that was trying to rob her every breath.
'I'm getting sick too. I hope it's not too bad. He mustn't know, not after he saved my life. It would not be fair to him.' Zurna returned to her position behind him and resumed her soothing petting. "Rest Kaven, I will watch over you now."
"Well, maybe I'll have to win another bet after that, and get another few days of servitude." Kaven answered lazily, his eyes staying closed as they sat in the warmth of the tent. He shifted only a little as Zurna went to fetch the tea, happily settling back against her when she returned. He rested his head in her lap contentedly, raising it only to sip at his tea.
"I feel much safer and happier with you as my guardian angel, I must say." He let his eyes close again, his breathing becoming steady - but shallow - as he slipped into a doze.
It warmed her heart to see Kaven relax into her embrace. 'Such trust and peacefulness. I've never had anyone who felt that way about me.' Zurna let her fingers tousle Kaven's hair more before allowing her motions to slow and finally stop as he fell asleep.
"Kaven?" she called very softly, hoping that he was asleep. When no response was forthcoming Zurna breathed a sigh of relief. "I think I love you, did you know that? I like your smile and your humor. I like the warm feeling I get when you look at me and how you make me laugh. I love Equi and your ever-present desire to help. Kaven I'm falling for you. Will you be there to catch me?"
"I believe he will be." Zurna's head shot up at the sound of another voice.
"Palendag. I did not realize you were there, forgive me."
The man stood by the tent opening for a long while staring his sister down before moving to sit beside her. "Tarogato told me that you had taken a liking to him. I didn't believe it at first." A tense silence followed. Zurna waited knowing that her brother was one to order his words just right before letting them go. Sure enough, he continued a few minutes later. "He's good for you."
The young woman's eyes widened in surprise but she held her tongue. Palendag nodded his head in approval and then rose to exit the room once more. Almost as an afterthought he paused and looked back at her. "Give up on him Zurna," he muttered cryptically. Yet, she knew exactly what her brother spoke of. 'I will not! No matter what, I will not forget him.'
Kaven had mumbled in his sleep as Zurna called his name, but had not awoken during her speech, or her conversation with Palendag. As the brother left, however, he mumbled again, turning on his side and letting his head settle closer into Zurna's lap. One of his hands came up to rest on her knee, closing in a childlike fist around the edge of their furs.
Inside his head he was peaceful, dreaming of a large, comfortable bed with soft white pillows and Zurna beside him. "Zurna..." he sighed out in his sleep, lips twitching up into a smile.
On the outside though, his skin continued to get hotter as his fever built slowly.
In a moment of unadulterated vulnerability Zurna smiled down at Kaven before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. A soft gasp escaped her lips at the heat she felt on her lips. Placing a gentle hand on his head she felt the way his fever was rising. 'He burns!'
Making a quick decision, she eased herself out from under him and headed outside. "Mother!" she called towards the livestock tent. Her mother's hunched form soon emerged and drew closer. The elderly woman moved to place a hand on her daughter's forehead. "Mother, I'm fine. Stop please! Kaven, his fever is rising and I don't know what to do."
"As does yours, back inside with you."
"But mother-"
"Now child, you will be of no use to him if you die from illness."
Thoroughly chastised, the younger woman allowed herself to be chased back into the tent. "I gave him stinkweed and tea but, it seems to be of no use."
"That is because it had already set in before you had administered it. Lay down beside him Zurna. When the chills of fever affect him, you will need to keep him warm." The worried woman did as she was told, drawing close to the man she was falling in love with. Her head rested against his own burning one as her hands curled around his.
Minali tucked the furs tightly around them both and pressed cool compresses to their heads. "Rest Zurna. You are no good to him without it. No buts," she interrupted her daughter's protests. "I love you and I will not see you suffering all winter long because you refuse to do what I say not to get better. Rest!" Zurna eventually obeyed and in no time joined Kaven in the world of restless dreams.
Kaven was frowning as Zurna left him, a slight moan escaping from his lips. This discomfort was settled when she returned and the cold compress was placed on his forehead, drawing the heat away from his skin. His breathing was still shallow but he looked peaceful, lying in Zurna's arms.
As he drew deeper into sleep his dreams became more fractured, though not entirely unpleasant. He seemed to be walking through a whirl of snow, following the voice of someone he couldn't quite place. They were calling out to him, asking for help as he struggled to make his way through the arctic. He knew that when he found the owner of the voice it would bring happiness and peace, although he couldn't quite work out how, or how to get to them...
As he dreamed his skin grew dry as the fever burned, sure to break at some point in the night.
Minali spent the entire night watching over the pair, pressing compresses to their heads when they burned, pulling the furs closer when they shivered, and rubbing a salve on their throats to help them breathe.
While Kaven dreamed so did Zurna. Although hers were quite familiar to her by now. Ezra made an appearance to her in her moments of weakness and vulnerability. In the dream he was caring for her, whispering sweet things in a soothing voice and running his fingers gently through her hair. He held her close and spoke of how much he loved her.
The more she dreamed the harder and deeper Zurna fell into the unreality of it all. But the time morning came, her fever was on the edge of breaking and she was in the deepest part of her delirium. Her hands clutched Kaven's tighter as she subconsciously remembered that it was him and not a dead boy that she loved.
After a long night of subconsciously wandering through the snow, Kaven was brething heavily, beads of sweat of running down his forehead. He had awoken once or twice during the night, opening his eyes only to see the tent swimming before him unnaturally. Each time the sight frightened him and he moaned before he closed his eyes again, slipping back into the never ending dream.
By the time dawn came his fever was higher than ever, burning up as he lay next to Zurna. The pressure of her hands on his woke him and his eyes snapped open, but they didn't see Zurna. His feverish eyes saw someone else entirely, and he pulled back with a startled cry. He staggered to his feet, the firelight seeming to ripple around him in huge, distorted flames. The shadows seemed to him menacing, the glints of light appeared as angry eyes, and the only thought his hallucinating mind could process was: get away.
Reeling away from Zurna he half-rolled into the embers of the fire, burning his leg and making a commotion before he found his way out of the tent and into the cold light beyond. There his energy ran out and he fell to his knees, the snow cold but soothing against the hot flesh of his leg, the burn that ran all the way up his thigh. His vision swimming, he held out for only a moment before passing out again.
While Zurna and Minali who had passed out from exhaustion did not wake at the commotion Kaven was causing, the twin girls did. Frightened and unsure as to what to do, the pair huddled close together in the safety of their bed, listening until they did not hear anything more from outside.
"What do we do Cara? He's been sick. Do you think it 'ffected his 'ead?" a timid voice whispered.
"I don't know. Let's go see what he's doing," the more adventurous sister replied.
"No!" Aliyah's tiny hands latched onto her sister's arm and refused to let go. "He could hurt us!"
"Oh come on Aliyah quit being a baby! He's sick not rabid, where's your sense of adventure? What if he really hurt himself? We could save him."
Yanking away from her twin, Cara hopped out of bed and pulled on her boots and cloak to head outside. Aliyah stayed put, cowering further under the covers until she heard her name screamed on the wind. Worried that her headstrong sister was being injured or worse, she quickly followed with shaking hands and knocking knees.
What she found though was not her worst nightmare. Cara was struggling to roll Kaven over to his back. "Help me!" Together the girls slowly flipped him over, collapsing in the end on his stomach as they huffed and puffed. Aliyah felt something warm and sticky on her hand as it brushed against his leg. Looking down she found her hand coated in a layer of blood.
"Cara," she urgently called, tugging on the girls nightgown. "He's hurt!"
"See! I told you that we would be saving him!"
"How are we going to get him inside though? We're too little!"
"We can't leave 'im here. We'll just have to try. Come on, take one arm. I'll get the other. We can try dragging him."
Yet despite their good intentions they really were not strong enough to help. Frustrated, Cara threw down his arm and sat to pout in the snow. On the other hand her sister ran around them in circles, flapping her arms about and talking so quickly that it was impossible to understand what she was trying to say in her stressed state.
It was to this squabbling and shouting that Zurna groggily awoke to. The absence of Kaven's warmth forced her glassy eyes to open and look about. A slow dizzying stare about made her gradually come to the realization that the Kaven was not the only one missing but the twins as well.
Stumbling up, she stepped out of the tent, barefooted and unprepared for the cold outdoors. Relief flooded her chest at seeing the trio before being replaced by the need to move to help. Quietly she settled Aliyah down and instructed the girls on how to safely assist her in moving Kaven back inside. The snow was numbing her feet, sending pins and needles of pain through them as the wind whipped at her thin clothes.
At last inside, Zurna continued to direct the girls on how to help. "First priority is getting him warm. If the blood rushes to his heart too quickly he'll die. Cara get the salve again please. Both of you eat some stinkweed too, no complaints either." The twins were very obedient watching in surprise at the way their favorite aunt cared for the stranger.
Zurna's hands felt like heavy bricks as they shook and clumsily went about trying to make him get better. The bandages on his leg took twice as long to wrap as they should have and she kept feeling herself start to fall asleep in the middle of the task. "To bed you too. It'll be alright now," she bid at last. Moving to Kaven's head, she placed it in her lap and pulled the furs up tight to his chin. Her fingers tiredly combed through his hair as she sleepily watched over him, determined to stay awake and care for him. "I love you, you silly fool. Don't go dying on me now."
Collapsed in the wet snow, Kaven was not awoken by the appearance of the young twins. Neither did their squabbling disturb him, or their attempts at dragging him back into the tent. Instead his mind stayed blank, mercifully free of dreams or anxiety, as if it had fled from the waking horror of his burns and fever. By the time Zurna was bandaging his wounds he was semi-conscious, the the heat searing through his leg forcing his mind into half-wakefulness.
His eyes flickered as she talked to him and a moan escaped his mouth, as he struggled towards consciousness. He tried to move briefly before crying out, his hand flying to his leg, where the blistering skin was hot under the bandages.
"What happened?" he mumbled, eyes opening to gaze up at Zurna's face, blurry above him.
She startled back to attention by his cry of pain and reached over him to pull his hand away. "Leave it be and lay still. You'll only make it worse," she quietly warned. "And I don't know. I was asleep until the twins woke me up hollering and crying as they tried to drag your deadweight body back inside. I was hoping you could tell me. Looked like you burned yourself somehow."
Zurna blinked slowly as she gazed down at him, feeling the sickness continue to fight for hold over her. "Rest now Kaven. We'll talk when you're better." Her fingers resumed their gentle motion through his hair as she struggled to fight off sleep. "You had me so worried," came out as an unintentional mumble under her breath.
Obediently moving his hand away from his leg, Kaven mumbled vaguely, confused by Zurna's answer. He frowned and rubbed his forehead, trying to remember what had happened. "I remember fire... there was fire everywhere... all over the floor."
He tilted his head slightly, staring around at the obviously undamaged tent. "Where did it go? I was surrounded by fire. That must have been how I burnt myself." He struggled a little in his confusion, but quickly settled down as Zurna resumed stroking his hair.
"I don't know..." he was murmuring as his eyes began closing, but he never finished his sentence. Within a few moments he was asleep again, face relaxing into a peaceful sleep.
Despite the toll it took on her body, Zurna stayed up the rest of the night into the morning, watching over Kaven. It frightened her that he could have burned himself in his sleep and she did not wish to repeat it. As it was she was awake to change his bandages frequently and apply salve to speed the healing and soothe the pain he would feel when he awoke.
By the time morning broke she felt truly horrible. Her throat ached, her chest ached making her struggle for breath and her head felt like a sack of potatoes. 'Mother is going to kill me for this. This is what I get for being lazy. I hope Kaven doesn't feel this bad. Maybe I could get him to take care of me. No!'
Her head shot up and back into alertness as she began to nod off. Looking about and seeing that Kaven was still there, Zurna returned to her musing. 'It's my fault we are sick. I should be taking care of him, not the other way around. He has already done so much for me. Ack! I feel so terrible.'
Not long after dawn broke, Kaven found himself awakening. Proper awakening, not the confusion of hallucinations that had plagued him during the night. He lay there with his eyes closed for some minutes, feeling pleasantly refreshed and cool. His fever had broken and left him in a cooling sweat, and Zurna's attentions had gone a long way towards helping the pain in his leg. This calm didn't last for long, however, as the rest of his body began to wake up and make its aches and pains known to him. As it did, the burn began to sting again, and he realised just how beaten up his body was. He let out a groan as he opened his eyes, leaning up on one elbow to look at Zurna.
He softened as he saw her there, half-asleep and over-tired from nursing him. "Morning," he said softly, reaching out to stroke her leg. "You look exhausted." He sat up properly then, wincing as he settled his leg into position, and pulled Zurna into his arms.
"You're really amazing, do you know that?" He kissed her on the forehead gently. "Have you stayed up all night with me? ... Go to sleep now, and I will watch over you."
"Morning," she croaked back, stirring slightly as he moved. "You shouldn't-Kaven st!" Her protests fell on deaf ears though as he moved her into his lap. Zurna struggled weakly as even the simplest of movements drained her.
Ever persistent though, she continued to fight to get off his lap. "I'm fine Kaven. You shouldn't move so much you'll hurt your leg. Let me up, I want to look at it now that you're awake. A series of deep hacking coughs interrupted her though. Once she settled and her breathing returned to only a light wheeze she attempted to restart her efforts to check his leg.
"Nope. Nope, nope, nope." Kaven caught a hold of Zurna's hands, grasping them gently but firmly. "I am fine. Or if I'm not yet, I will be soon, thanks to you and your nursing." He lifted her hands to his lips, kissing each one in turn, before releasing them.
"Now I want you to sleep, and rest, whilst I watch over you." He touched her forehead to check for fever and stroked her skin tenderly, letting his fingers trail down her cheek. "I have something you can take for that cough, but right now, sleep will do more to help you. And you are my slave for the day, so you have to do it." He grinned, remembering their deal.
Zurna would have protested more if he had not brought up losing the bet. "Low blow. Very low blow Kaven." She pouted and grumbled worse than the twins. Being sick was never something she was able to make the most of. She was known to deny her being in such a state until it nearly killed her, and even then she would only say it was but a sniffle.
"'sides I can't sleep now that it's daylight. I have chores and things to do Kaven. My family needs me! Now quit being a mule and let me look." Zurna returned her efforts albeit much weaker to check on him. "Honestly I'm fine."
"No, I'm not giving in." Kaven smiled fondly, watching this woman who he loved. Her insistence on looking after him, on completing her chores even though she was so weak, just reminded him of the reasons that he had fallen for her so quickly. Her sense of duty, her goodness and her care for others were so evident to him right then.
But he continued stroking her forehead gently, trying to calm her. "You need sleep, and everyone knows it. You can't do your chores if you are ill or too tired to stand, so sleep now and we can do them later."
The commotion that the pair was creating woke Minali at last. "Zurna Nali, you listened to that boy and rest, or I'll make you stay inside for the rest of the fall!" The girl froze in her place, eyes widening at the seriousness of the threat. "But mo-"
"Don't mother me! The chores have gotten done before you and they will get done after you. This is no way to treat a guest. You should be entertaining him not beating him up."
"I am not beating him up! And how entertaining can I be if I'm a sleep?"
The older woman smiled knowingly and winked at Kaven. "I'm sure the boy can think of something," she muttered under her breath before speaking louder. "If you do not rest then you are of no use. Now sleep before I make you sleep. If you are that concerned about the chores then Kaven can do them while you rest."
Sick and weary, she collapsed back against him. "We'll both rest. It would not do for him to relapse and I did stay up all night. That's why I'm tired. Thank you mother." Zurna closed her eyes, already beginning to fall asleep just sitting there.
Kaven smiled fondly as Zurna argued with her mother. He was sure that soon enough she would agree, bowing to the combined efforts of himself and Minali, and felt comforted that she would get some rest. "You know that mothers are always right."
He chuckled as they continued the discussion, raising an eyebrow slightly as Minali winked at him. He was growing fond of Zurna's mother, especially when she stood up for him in situations like this. He grinned back at her and squeezed Zurna's hands as she fell back against him.
"Good." He reached for a fur, folding it up into a pillow, and slipped it behind Zurna's head. "There, we can both rest, and I will wake you in a couple of hours so that you don't lose too much of the day. How does that sound?"
Zurna grunted in agreement, already too tired to fight anymore. 'I would much rather sleep the whole day away. There is so much to do though. How will I get it done? I feel terrible. Maybe I am sick. What a wonderful day this will be'
She grimaced at the aching feeling that was setting into her entire body. Everything was beginning to hurt from the movement of every strand of hair down to her toenails. "Hate being sick," she huffed, curling up tighter in Kaven's arms.
Sleep came quick and heavy to her. Blessedly no dreams troubled her as she slumbered. The fever cooled some but no matter how many furs covering her, Zurna could not feel warm enough. Throughout the morning family members quietly came and went about their business. Even the twins were respectful of their sleeping aunt and went outside to play quietly.
"I know. But you'll be alright." Kaven bent over to kiss her forehead, smoothing her hair away from her face. "Now sleep, and I'll see you soon."
He stayed semi-awake for a long time that morning, dozing in and out of consciousness until the lines blurred, and he wasn't sure whether he was dreaming or not. He was grateful that they were left alone, allowed to sleep. Eventually he fell properly asleep, propped up against a tent prop, Zurna clasped firmly in his arms.
Climb back up through the layers of sleep back to reality was long and strenuous. Zurna came to slowly and groggily, not remembering who was holding her for a moment. "Ezra?" she moaned quietly before looking back and seeing Kaven.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Her limbs still felt heavy and weak but the fever was gone for now and only the cold seemed to be hanging on. "Are you still feeling sick? How is the leg? I should probably check on it," she decided without waiting for him to respond.
Kaven was called back to wakefulness by Zurna stirring in his arms, and the faint moan of a word. He frowned, unclear on what exactly she had said, but then she was moving and he forgot his confusion.
"Morning." He leaned forwards and kissed her head, pleased to wake up with her. He didn't bother arguing as she spoke, judging from her coherent words that her fever must be gone. "It feels alright, I think." He shrugged and unwrapped his arms from around her to let her move more freely. She wouldn't be happy until he'd let her check on his wound. He could feel that the skin was blistered underneath the bandages, but hopefully it had begun to heal.
"You can check, if you're sure you're up to it."
Eyes rolled in exasperation as Kaven questioned her capability. "A little sniffle is not going to kill me," she bit out, moving down to his leg. With a little difficult due to her hands feeling clumsy, Zurna removed the bandages and clinically examined the burn.
The skin was shiny pink and red as it bubbled up with hot blisters. Zurna growled under her breath as she ran gentle fingers over the surface of the skin. Moving slowly she instructed him to stay put as she wobbled her way over to the medicinal crate again. She pulled out a different jar and came over to liberally apply the thick salve to his leg, hoping it would cool the tender flesh.
"What shall I do for you now?" she asked, rewrapping his leg in new bandages. "I am at your beck and call for the rest of the day now."
Kaven sat quietly as Zurna treated his leg, gritting his teeth against the pain. The skin was still hot and raw and it burnt as she touched it. He sighed in relief when she was done and was wrapping his bandages, and leant his head back against the tent prop, eyes closed.
"Typical, that I get a slave for the day, on a day when both of us are too ill to enjoy it." He grinned evilly before continuing. "Otherwise I can think of quite a few things you could do for me..."
He sat up then and opened his eyes, holding out a hand to her. "But for now, how about a kiss?"
The young woman blinked uncomprehendingly at Kaven. "Why can't I do things for you now? I'm not broken you know," she heatedly defended. 'A kiss? Men!' Crawling back up to him and ignoring his hand, Zurna sat up on her knees beside him. Then, without putting much thought or feeling into it she kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Feel better now?"
A smile twitched at her lips as she remembered what she had called him the day before. "My hero, if that is all you will ask of me then my job is quite easy and losing is nothing to lament over." Zurna rested her back against the same support pole he was using and pressed closely against Kaven's side.
Kaven smiled as she kissed him, his eyes closing briefly again. He slipped an arm tight around her shoulders as she sat down beside him.
"Your job will be easy, my princess." He kissed the side of her head and pulled her closer. "All I ask of you is that you are here, next to me... and bestow the occasional kiss upon my cheek, of course." He reached out for her hand with his free one, thumb tracing patterns onto the back of her hand.
"Being here with you is what makes me happy, no matter what we do."
Zurna smiled warmly and leaned over to hive him another peck on the cheek. "There," she said resting her head on his shoulder. "Why do you call me princess? I'm no princess. In fact, I'm the farthest things from it."
A cough stopped her from protesting further and instead caused her to release a displeased growl from deep in her throat. Settling back against him, she snuggled closer. "What did you write your sister? Better yet, what horrible things are you telling her about the heathen nomads of the north?" There was a teasing lilt in her nasally voice. Butm there was also true interest there as well. Zurna was dying to know what he truly thought of her, how he would describe her to his closest kin.
"Not to me, you're not." Kaven smiled indulgently as Zurna protested, ruffling her hair. "You are everything that a princess should be." He frowned in concern as she coughed and wrapped his other arm around her as she snuggled close.
"Oh yes. I told her all about the strange women up north, who are so beautiful but protest every compliment, so desirable but begrudge you every kiss, and so lovely to your pony but tease you at every turn." His tone reflected her teasing one as he replied, but softened when he next spoke.
"Would you like me to read you what I wrote?"
A weak chuckle sounded through the tent despite her efforts to squelch it. "Ah yes, how is dear Equi? You can't blame me though, out of the two of you he's the one that looks the least like a horse's ass," Zurna jested, gently elbowing Kaven in the side.
"If you wouldn't mind. I like listening to you. Your voice is soothing. Besides," she sat up straighter, "I have to verify that you haven't made any mistakes. It wouldn't do for your sister to think any more of us than is true. I would die if you gave her a good impression." Another kiss and a wink followed as the woman fell silent once more.
Kaven grinned. "You just wait. He may like you now, but if he hears you insulting me, he'll... probably still love you," he admitted. "But when you meet Sisi, you'll have a rival for his heart, she adores him he's her baby."
He laughed at her jest and pulled a sheet of parchment out of his pocket. It was covered on both sides with his neat handwriting, full of news about his travels. He turned it over to the second page, which still lay unfinished, and began to read, running his finger under the words as he did so. It was an automatic gesture, picked up from his mother when she taught him to read.
"... That was when we got lost. Can you imagine, Equi and I in the middle of fields of snow, white all around us, no idea where to go! We were hopeless. But salvation came in the form of a snow angel.
Well, not quite your traditional angel. Zurna is from a family of nomads that live here in Hyoite full-time - if you can believe that anyone does so! I know how you feel about the cold. She turned up out of nowhere and led us to her home, where she and her family took us in. They are the reason that I am still here to send this letter to you. But there is more than that. Sisi, I have fallen in love.
I know you will adore Zurna. She is beautiful, so striking looking that she takes your breath away. But she is lovely on the inside too. She is gracious and giving, and thinks nothing of sacrificing everything to look after someone else. She has finally driven the demons out of my heart and next to her I sleep peacefully, because she is there. She gives me hope for the future and puts life into my days. And perhaps most tellingly, Equi is already fond of her.
I will be staying here over the winter, hoping to convince her to fall in love with me as I have she..."
He stopped here, just before the letter cut off. A deep blush had spread over his face as he spoke. He held nothing back from his sister, having no secrets between them, but he couldn't help but be embarassed reading the letter out in front of its subject.
His soothing voice and heartfelt words froze Zurna in place. She all but melted against him as his words floated into her ears. 'I am beautiful to him even though I am plain. His demons are gone, but what of mine? He has already begun the fight with Ezra. Will he continue to shoulder the burden? Hope. Future. Love. I like the sound of those words. Convince me? Oh Kaven, I love you already, never doubt that.'
Tears slid down her pale cheeks as she listened to his praises of her virtues. The silence that followed startled her so that she jerked slightly and furiously brushed the moisture away as she sat up. "Well," she began, clearing her throat. "It's a start I suppose but you forgot something."
Leaning forward she hastily bumped her mouth against his own in a poor attempt at a kiss. "I lov-love to torment you." A soft giggle escaped her lips as she fell over from the laughter into his lap. Zurna stared up at him from where she was and smiled softly. "Is there more, or was that the end?"
Kaven smiled fondly as he felt Zurna pressing against him, her weight warm against his body. He was surprised to look down and see her tears, but his words were interrupted by hers.
"Well, I suppose I will need to include that part." He smiled and lifted a thumb, wiping away her tears gently. "That is something the two of you will be able to bond over, although Sisi's torment takes the form of practical jokes and teasing... yours is much more enjoyable."
He leant over and gave her forehead a butterfly-light kiss as she collasped into his lap. "That's pretty much it. I still need to finish it... the hardest part of writing a letter." He took her by the shoulders, gently pulling her back upright.
"Maybe you can help inspire me." He took her head in his hands, and leaned forwards to kiss her on the lips, soft but passionate.
Zurna kissed back for a moment before gently pushing him away. "Sorry, there's this thing called air and I need it," she giggled, pointing to her red nose. "Although I don't know how I can be much inspiration to you. Just end the letter with how you miss her and love her. A sister always wants to know that her big brother hasn't forgotten her no matter how far away he is."
She rested her head on his shoulder though and looked at the letter in his lap. Her fingers traced over the smooth paper, memorizing the way it felt beneath her fingers. "You know if you teach me to write I'm going to have to teach you how we make our maps. Since we don't use words to convey dangers."
Kaven laughed and kissed the end of Zurna's nose, his lips tender on her sore skin.
"You inspire me to write more about how wonderful and lovely you are. I will write something like that, but I need to explain that I'll be staying here with you over the winter... so a bit of extra complimenting might be in order I suppose." He was a little worried that Sisi would be upset about his failure to return home for winter, but it wasn't to be helped.
"That would be nice. I'd love to find out how you make them." He shrugged off the worry and smiled, placing his hand over hers on the letter. " Perhaps I can start teaching you this evening, whilst we're both recuperating."
The woman scowled at the idea of more complimenting but kept her comments to herself. 'Like he needs to add anymore. How much is left to compliment? Surely he has said it all by now. Right? I give up. I've never understood men, ever.'
His hand was warm against the clammy skin of her own. It made her feel dirty and want to pull away from him. 'Why do I ever get to thinking that we could be together? Because I'm a fool.'
Sighing she pulled her hands into her lap and snuggled down deeper into the furs. "Then whatever shall we do now Kaven? My compliments cannot be so numerous that it would take you all day to write them."
((*Sneaks back in sheepishly* xP))
Kaven laughed as he released Zurna's hand from his own, and tucked the letter away into a pocket. "Of course they are... I'm sure I could write an epic poem about your accomplishments - if I were at all skilled with words!"
He smiled and rearranged the furs about her. "Perhaps tomorrow, if you are feeling better, we could visit Hyoite to send the letter on its way? Sisi goes into town every month to check for post from me, and she's had to wait a woefully long time."
"In the meantime, why don't you tell me a little about Hyoite? Seeing as I managed to completely miss it when I got lost in the snow. I still don't know very much about what it's really like here."
"Then it is a good thing you are no wordsmith, for I very much doubt your family would like what you would have to say about me. No amount of flowery words could hide the truth of my barbaric nature from them forever," she chuckled dryly.
For a moment her eyes closed in thought before she released a mighty sigh. "Hyoite. Not sure what you would want to know, not a very interesting place in my opinion. Carvans come through there in the summer and if you're lucky you can sell your liquor and skins there. It's one of the few stationary settlements you'll find on the tundra. A bunch of misfits, we sionadyaki are mostly of foreign blood. Many come here to hide, few ever leave, like Sonia. She fled and became one of us. She will never go back, no matter how much she squawks on the contrary."
Zurna kept the part about mail traveling all the way to Hyoite and back was very rare. She did not want to upset Kaven when he seemed so excited to share news with his family. 'Like I'm even news worth sharing.' She hummed softly as a thought began to invade her mind and take over.
"Kaven? Maybe after we go to town would you like to take a small detour? There's a place not far from Hyoite that's really pretty. Since you keep saying you want to see the beauty of my lands I thought you might like it too. We don't have to though. It will be quite a long day once we get there and then to come back as well. I up to you I guess," she mumbled at the end, burying her head under the furs.
"It all sounds so simple." Kaven smiled at Zurna's description of Hyoite, picturing the quiet settlement. "In a way, I suppose, it's not so dissimilar to La'marri.... but a lot colder of course!" Quietly he considered his journeying - from one sleepy village to another - and soon, back to the first. It didn't seem to add up to much in the grand scheme of things.
"Still, at least I found you," he murmured, hardly aware that he was speaking aloud. As he spoke he was recalled to the present by Zurna's question, and thought over it for a second before answering.
"A detour? Why not." He smiled and kissed her temple. "I would like to see this mysterious place of yours!"
Zurna adjusted her position against him again, until she deemed it perfect. "At least?" she huffed. "You would have died without me. Poor Equi, he would have been so traumatized. But, I'm glad I found you." She paused to stare up at him with a gentle smile. "Tormenting the dead is no fun after all."
Giggling, the young woman closed her eyes and sighed. "Can we stay like this all day? I don't want to move." Movement of the tent flap warned Zurna of her mother's return. The old woman placed her hands on her hips and stared at the pair.
"Go back to sleep you too. You can talk all day tomorrow. Today is for resting. And don't you dare protest Z," she chided, cutting the girl off before she could start. "I have heard all of your arguments before now. Now, I'm going back out and if you aren't asleep by the time I get back I will make you take some more cough medicine."
"Yes, mother," Zurna grumbled out, closing her eyes once more and pretending to be asleep already. The moment her mother left though, her eyes were back open again as if nothing had happened. "Mm, do you want to bring Equi tomorrow? It would be an awfully long day for him in the cold."
"Yes, tormenting my poor frozen self would have just made you mean, I think." Kaven laughed and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "And you wouldn't have found such an ally in Equi, I don't think."
He nodded respectfully at Minali as she entered, listening quietly to the conversation between mother and daughter. As they were left alone again, he pulled another fur onto their pile, tucking it over himself and Zurna.
"Your mother's right, you know," He petted her hair gently. "You should rest, and get some sleep. Especially if we are leaving early. But, as regards to Equi... I'm not sure. I'll see how he is in the morning. He won't want to be left alone whilst we're out all day, I don't think."
The young woman frowned grumpily at the coddling and pulled one of the blankets up over her head like a hood. It was all more for show than actual displeasure though. She was quite tired and knew she needed the rest if she wanted to surprise him tomorrow. It would take all the energy she had just to convince her mother to let them go to begin with.
"You're no fun," she declared between a pair of small mewling yawns. Zurna cuddled close to Kaven, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest as she closed her eyes in preparation for true sleep. "Don't stay up too late she," she murmured before a very soft "I love you," and then silence she plunged into the deepest of sleeps where no dreams could plague her.
Kaven smiled as he awoke, blinking in the dim half-light. It was still before dawn, but the embers of the fire were clinging determinedly to life and cast dancing shadows around the tent. The light was falling over Zurna's face, still resting on his chest, and it gave him a sense of contentedness to know that, whatever troubles their sleep had brought them, they had ended up cocooned together again.
At least to his mind, sleep had not brought with it the usual terror. Most of his dreams - and long, winding dreams they seemed too - had been comfortable: a sleepy afternoon where he had walked with Zurna hand-in-hand, through a wood that felt only vaguely familiar. Only for a short while, directly after midnight, had he been plagued by a vision of mountains and swirling mist and for the first time, the dark stones of a ruin. It was this last image that he pondered as he readjusted their furs, throwing an extra layer over their entwined legs.
"Morning, sunshine," he murmured, reaching down to kiss that pale forehead. It was a shame to awaken such a beautiful sleeper, but they had a long day ahead of them.
She grumbled under her breath, stirring to snuggle closer into the warm chest of her companion. "Shh, I can almost go back to dreaming," Zurna muttered, pressing her ear close above where his heart beat deep within, enjoying its lulling rhythm as she fought her way back into the fog of peaceful sleep.
The kiss to her forehead made her smile though and she clung tighter to him for it. "Go back to sleep," she whispered once more, attempting the very thing and knowing she would not be allowed to. For now though the morning was still and cold. She was going to enjoy it with him while she could, before she would be made to endure on foot.
"Come on, there'll be time enough for sleeping later," Kaven smiled as he gently shook Zurna's shoulder. "And you'll appreciate it all the more after a long day out." He stretched out his arms, the cool morning air sending goosebumps rushing along his skin and setting the fine ends on point. Quickly he ducked his arms back under the soft covers and back around her comfortable body, wriggling close. "Although I must admit that staying under here is a nicer prospect than going outside into this frozen wilderness that you call home," he gently teased.
He let a moment or two go by without saying anything more, during which his eyelids began to grow heavy again, and he felt the soft comfort of sleep begin to wash over his mind. Blinking rapidly to fight the onslaught of drowsiness, he yawned and sat up, carefully extricating his arms from around Zurna.
"But no, we really must get up," he insisted. "Lots to do today - including your detour, remember? Then we can come back to bed... and I can dream about you again."
Zurna almost allowed herself to ignore him and completely doze off when she caught the tail-end of what he was saying. Suddenly she was wide awake and squawking. "What?! Dream about me? What is this? Am I not woman enough for you to enjoy during the day? You would rather dream about me than enjoy me in the flesh?"
Her hand struck her breast as she fell away from him. "Oh how my heart dies as the very thought. I am more sought after in dreams than in life. Such heartbreak!" She was not able to keep up her act long though before she was laughing at her own antics, giving away that it was all in jest.
Kaven watched this little display, the corners of his mouth twitching as he tried not to laugh at Zurna's antics. "Absolutely, that is what I am saying!" he exclaimed in return. "In dreams you torment me much less with teasing and recriminations... you are gentle and docile and never mock me when I try to be sweet to you!"
He caught at her hands and stood up, pulling her with him. "And yet you are so delightfully enchanting when you do so that I cannot bear to be apart from you in a minute, whether it be in dreams or in person." Letting go of her hands, he kissed the tip of his finger and pressed it to her forehead before stepping back. Shivering in the cold air, he bent to retrieve his tunic and slipped it over his head, pulling the cords to close the fabric tightly over his undershirt for warmth. As he did so he looked back to Zurna, mocking up an injured expression.
"Don't you want to know about my dream?"
A brow raised in response, as Zurna listened to him talk. Once he had released her and she was on her feet, her arms crossed over her chest making it known that Kaven was about to get himself a world of attitude for his remarks.
"Why should I ask when it would only make jealous? For the woman you dream of is obviously not me. Way to insult a girl," she called over her shoulder as she threw on some layers on her way out the door. Her haughty attitude outwardly remained as she made her ways to where Equi was housed. At least somebody would be pleased to see her as she was, she mused, trying not to smile.
Personally, she felt fine despite a niggling sense that she should possibly be offended and curious. For Zurna though it was more of an act than anything. She was for all extents and purposes, content.
"Women," Kaven muttered as he stared after Zurna, face wearing a somewhat confounded expression. "Utterly mad, all of them." He rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself as the tent flaps swung to and fro with the momentum caused by her leaving, reminding him of her haughty walk out of there. He continued dressing, with rather more care than she had, and in rather more layers too, as he told himself that he was still not accustomed to the bitter cold. Eventually he picked up his bag and quickly checked inside, before following in Zurna's footsteps.
Outside was just as frigid as he had anticipated, the dim streaks of light in the sky a steely grey. Tiny, soft flakes of snow danced around him lazily, taking their time to reach the ground. Swatting them away from his face, he began the short walk across the camp, playfully stepping exactly on Zurna's footprints so that the pair of them would leave only one trail.
Inside the livestock tent, Equi's ears had perked up as he heard Zurna's approach, and her arrival inside the tent brought a snort of greeting. The little pony had still been half-asleep, but the prospect of petting and company quickly brought him to his feet in the straw. He strained against the rope harness that held him fastened, nose stretching towards Zurna in a plea for attention.
"Good morning, Equi!" the woman greeted the horse cheerily. "Want to go on an adventure today?" She reached up to rub his ears and pat his neck in a soothing motion as she buried her face against him.
Zurna hummed softly, enjoying the smell of his warm body against her cheek. "I know, I want to sleep in too but your master is a big bully and dragged me out of bed to venture out in the cold. Can you believe that? Neither can I. Think we should stage a rebellion and just go back to sleep?"
Equi snuffled against Zurna's chest in response to her question, his ears flicking back and forth as she spoke. One hoof scrabbled at the ground restlessly.
"A rebellion, eh?" Kaven entered the tent then, pushing the flaps aside with a gentle hand to approach silently. He smirked to hear the end of Zurna's speech, and shook his head as he stepped up to her side and patted Equi's neck. "So you recruit my own pony to help you work against me, do you? I'd like to think that he'd never betray me in such a way - but alas, you spoil him with pets and loving, so I think he would follow you in whatever scheme you thought up."
She continued to love on the pony even as Kaven entered the tent and called her out on her plan. "Nay, there you are wrong tyrant. I pay my conspirator's in something far more substantial than affection. The leader's affections though are only a bonus perk of being so adorable."
Nuzzling back at Equi, Zurna spoke in a baby voice to the pony, reaffirming her statement into his soft ears. "Yes, you are. Yes you are! And such tasty meals you get for all your hard and smart work, helping me rebel against the nasty tyrant that would see us up and slaving at such a horrible hour in the morning."