Spirits of the Earth

There were books, books, everywhere; and not a spot to spare. She had them piled so high that poor Averella had to stand on TWO stools to reach the top of them. And after she had procured exactly all that she had wished to use, she found herself dropping back within her chair and craning her neck up at the towering walls all around her as she sighed.

"I wonder if I over did it?" she said with a nervous twitch of a smile. "No matter, this library offers quite a selection and I thank you for your-" but she paused, blinking to the vacant spot beside her as she finished her sentence with a curious rise of her brows. "Help?"

There had been a library assistant beside her but a moment ago, and now, no one stood there, not even a shadow. She stood up curiously, glancing around, but it seemed almost the entire side of the library she had taken homage in for the past six hours was all but vacant.
"Hello?" but no one was there, and her voice simply echoed up towards the tall ceiling of the famous library in Uthlyn. Sighing, she frowned and shrugged it away, before dropping back into her seat and burying her nose deep within a few hefty sized books, that of which by now were scattered across the table as if a storm had come through.

ALl of her books varied in what they contained, but the predominant theme was information collected on ancient Essyrni. And a few of the pages she had open contained crude images, long since faded from time, of mummies and the processes there of. Her finger traced along the wordings, frowning when she realized a few portions of text were so worn and old, they were unable to be read. And she sighed, wilting as if defeated before closing the book and shaking her head. But then she noticed something out of the corner of her eye, a certain, red leahter bound book, worn well from age that had the title pressed into the leather reading: 'The Secrets of Ancient Essyrni.'

Her eyes went wide, her heart beginning to pound heavily within her chest, but as she reached out to take it, she flinched back adn craned her neck up. Right.. the tower of books that now weighed down upon it. How was she to get it easily? Go one book at a time?
She could't even count how many books were crammed ontop of it, and noticing this particular book near the bottom was shifted, somewhat farther out from the others and ..perhaps if she could just give it a little push...

and push she did, but the entire tower of books began to wave. Gasping, she tried to push back on it's opposing side, to get the tower to calm down in it's scary wavering, however, the precariously tall tower of books began to topple back the other way now, and before she knew it, she let out a scream and the first tower of books went down, crashing onto the table and into the other tower of books, which they too, fell over, clattering into a messy, dusty heap upon the table and floor all around her as if an angry sea of books came forth and crashed through that entire side of the library and onto the floors all around her so thick in a mess, it buried nearly all of her calf high boots in books!


Coughing as the dust began to settle, she blinked and peered around at the terrible mess.
"Oh dear.." she said, tucking back some of her black hair behind her ears. She took a light step, turned around and noticed not a single book remained stacked...
which meant.... oh! The red book was free. Stepping gingerly over the mess, she swam through the pile of books upon the table, while a single, dainty boot lifted up into the air behind her as she craned over that table. And there, afte rpushing book after open book aside, she let out an exclamation of elation.

"The book! I've found the book!" but the second she picked it up, she ended up scattering nad knocking over another round of books off the table, those of which now fell onto the floor in another loud series of clatters and paper shreds. She cringed to think of all of the ruined pages from this fiasco. But she got her book! Her book! And shrunk awy to her chair to begin to flip through the pages, only to realize as her face darted over to the table...
the notes she had been taking...

THey were buried under the sea of her newly created book mess! And as she was gasping, the head of hte library stepped into the room, his jaw slacked open as he stared in awe and utter, repulsive surprise.

"Dear god woman!" he shouted, his voice echoing angrily around her. Averella whirled aorund, gasping to see the man wiht such an angry red face, one that matched his red robes quite nicely, or so she thought. "How in Angsar's green earth did you manage to topple over all of these books!?"

Averella only stared at him, her lips falling open to reply, appearing much like an opened mouth fish, but then she quickly closed it as the man took another angered step forward.
"You!" he said, jabbing an angry finger into the air directed her way. "Start spitting out an explanation! And I'll want a name, for these books are expensive and you will be severly fined if a single one of these books has been ruined by this mis- en-devour!"

Averella shrunk back. "I..."


"Well!?" he said, his hackles rising, his hands clenching into fists. "Speak up, woman! This place is a catastrophe!"

"I..." and she looked around, completely horrified to see the extent of the mess she was swimming within. But what was there to say or explain? She just so desperately needed that book and it had been how many thousands of years that she had been collecting research to find a cure....

"WELL!?" the man barked, and she jumped out of her thoughts and nearly out of her skin, finding herself sweating beneath his glare. "Don't you have ANYTHING to say for yourself!?"

"Huh. Something isn't right, " , a large figure stuffed in a dark hooded robe that just BARELY fit him stood before a tower that hardly looked very evil. Clutched in his large , gloved hands (unfortunately his claws had torn through the fingertips because gloves aren't made for monsters!) was a map of Connlaoth with various scribbling and notes upon the parchment made by his previous captive about points of interest. He'd even circled the belltower of the church in red for him , presuming that this was the 'evil bird tower' that the monster had been ranting on about.

"Hell's fangs! That last librarian lied to me!" He snarled and , forgetting his temper (as monsters often do) he started to tear the map when something warm and wet dropped down on his hand. Urtok blinked his yellow eyes and glared at white splotch on his hand. It took his small,feeble mind a few seconds to identify the unwelcome substance. It was bird shit.

"Bloody bird! I'll murder ya!" The beast threw up his massive arms and roared his death threats to the heavens. The guilty pigeon, of course, was flying high well beyond his reach and completely oblivious.

Urtok started after it, pushing innocent folk aside roughly (because monsters don't have manners , you know) . One poor boy went flying and knocked into a barrel of fish, toppling the barrel over and sending the slippery contents spilling out onto the cobbles.  A stout noblewoman was crossing the road at such a time with a tall stack of packages in her arms (most likely containing the expensive new wardrobe she'd purchased) and the moment her heel stepped down onto the fish-covered street she gave a gasp and slipped , falling and losing her packages. She went tumbling into a baker man who was bending over his stone oven, smelling a freshly baked loaf of bread. The poor , unfortunate baker stumbled forward , his long beard dipping into the oven's flame's and catching alight! "FIRE! My beard's on fire!"

Urtok ignored all the chaos he'd caused and kept on after the meddlesome bird, determined to make it pay for the damage it had done to his pride. "Come down here and fight like a ...like a man" Well, he wasn't a man but he didn't want to give away his identity! Or the plan would be ruined!

The pigeon's flight took him to a grand and somewhat antique looking building. Urtok grimaced as the bloody thing landed on one of the windowsills on the third floor. "It's not over yet! I'll get you my pretty..." And with a sinister, baritone laugh, the bugbear pushed his way through a pair of doors he barely fit through and stepped into the largest book palace (he didn't realize these places were called libraries) and paused to gawk at everything in awe.

"Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow." He gasped and in a voice that echoed throughout the first floor. His voice was always loud because he was a monster! Monsters were not very quiet beings, you know! 

"SSSSSSH!"

Urtok directed his gaze across the way to a little old woman seated behind a desk. She had her nose buried in a book and she hadn't looked up once to see whom was making such a ruckus.  She looked a bit scholarly. Maybe SHE was the ONE!

"I need –"

"SSSSH!" The old woman silenced him again and set her book on the desk then pointed up at a sign above her. Urtok stared at it , but he couldn't make out the words. Sighing, he stomped over to the front desk , leaving a trail of mud and water from his dirty feet behind him. "Wise book woman," the bugbear began, " I need to reach the upper levels of this temple of reading..."

The old woman went back to reading her book , seeming to ignore him.
Impatient, annoyed, the bugbear slammed his fist down on the desk, causing the wood to crack under it's force. He raised his voice, bellowing, "I COMMAND YOU TO HELP ME!"

"SSSSH!"

"ARHGH ! You try my patience-"

Urtok couldn't quite place a claw on it , but his big pointy ears were twitching again which could only mean that something was most certainly not right. Because his ears ALWAYS were twitchy when something was about to be wrong or was already in the process of being so. Had his ears the former talent , he would have become a fortune teller and made a – well, fortune!

He suddenly turned away from the 'help desk' and wandered through the literary catacombs, weaving through one bookcase after another. He moved from one end of the room to the other , hardly noticing the reactions of the library's customers as he passed. Some froze and just stared. He was an enormous creature and though he thought his disguise was quite clever, it didn't hide his enormous hairy clawed feet. It didn't hide his stink either. Some people ran away, clutching their noses or gasping for breath and one woman passed out.
Reaching the other end of the expansive room, he moved along the wall until he found a stairwell leading up. He ascended to the second floor and then the third though as he stepped into the room of the third floor and spied the pigeon through one of the windows. With a gwaffah of triumph, the bugbear hurried over to the window and pulled it open . "Come to papa!" He gwffahed and ...he reached out to grab the thing but , predictably the pigeon sensed his approach and pecked his hand fiercly then took wing. "Yewoch!" Urtok drew his hand back and kissed his boo-boo then cursed the bird and promised revenge.

He was about to turn and go back down the stairs when he was assaulted! Urtok stood there with his jaw hanging open and his eyes bugging nearly out of their sockets as a tidal wave of books came crashing down around him. "HELP MEEEE!" He cried just as he was swallowed up by the chaos.

And when the dust settled he was buried underneath volumes upon volumes. He heard yelling above him and this was when he popped his monstrous head to the surface with a gasp.

"Don't just sit there gaping like a suffocating fish! You-" The man noticed the big , monstrous head of a creature from nightmares and his sentence ended in a "YEEEEEEEEEEEEARGH!" He  fled, screaming .

Urtok's enormous figure burst from mess and he loomed over a tiny human woman now who clutched a book in hand. "You caused these books to rain down on me?" He inquired in a voice that might have shook the walls and the ground beneath her. His golden eyes inspected her curiously. She was so tiny.  Seemed potentially bookish though one could never be too sure. 

Lady Averella appeared quite bookish indeed. With her long dark air pulled up, a pair of ancient and rusting reading spectacles now hanging off her nose, her expressions mousy, her eyes very large and almost her ENTIRE body covered in some form of clothing to hide her flesh; except her face (but the veil for that had been pushed bck and now rested, neatly pinned on the other side fher hat.)

It wasn't uncommon for Averella to wear such clothing, even in summer with the sun at it's hottest. She was wearing a high collared coat, the collar of which went up well past her neck and hugged at her cheeks, a dress that clung to her body in the middle from the tightly pulled laces int he back, but then came down in gossamer layers of alternating deep, mystically blues and blacks. Long sleeves adorned the coat and melted into bicep high black leather gloves, tall boots beneath were worn beneath her skirts well past her calves (not that one could see those, and only occasionally the sharp black heels could be seen as her skirts would brush about the ground).

Her dress also possessed a tightly knit bustle trailing down the back in black as well, also made of gossamer that was pinned onto her dress by a series of blue and black silk flowers designed in a small bouquet just above her rear, and the trailing train from the bustle had the most intricately embroidred design across it in a sparkling, midnight blue color that shimmered when it caught the light that fanned out across the back ed of her dress and would lightly scrape across the floor, but an extra foot behind her when she walked.. To top off her ensemble to hide her flesh (for she had to keep herself dressed this way, lest someone see her skin begin to decompose when the 'return to her mummy' process would begin), was her square little hat upon her head, which was now set of, skewed from the torrential down pour of books, as it remained, almost popping off from her hair from the once tightly secured pins. But even her hair, that was once neatly done up in a bun, was about ready to burst from it's pins, as a few wild wisps of bangs fell over her face as her green eyes widened at the beastly thing that rose out from the sea of books about the floor.

"Oh my goodness, aren't you ah, erm.. tall fellow," she said, clutching a gloved hand to her chest as she peered up at him, an uncertain pout upon her lips, those green eyes wide and doe like as she had to crane her neck to see, well, all of him. But then at his question, she rose a single finger, tapping her lower lip thoughtfully as she blinked and looked down at the mess upon the floor. She sighed.
"I suppose I did." And this made her disposition wilt a little as she sighed and hugged onto the red, leather book she was now clutching from earlier. She was all sad looking now, and pouty as she turned around and tried to think of where to even begin to start cleaning; for just like the floor, she was now covered in the dust from the books and wild paper shards that had flown and broken off from the pages of the fallen books from her- as he so graciously put it, 'rain of books'. 
But then after a moment of looking, she tucked back a curl of her black hair from her face and turned around, peering curiously at the massive being with clothing too small for him and large, furry feet.
"Oh, goodness, where are my manners. I am sorry you had become a casualty from my accident, though I suppose casualty is far too severe of a word," she then added with a nervous, closed mouth giggle. She then shuffled the book in her arm.
"I-I- never meant to have all of this happen, for you see I was trying to get this book," and she gestured to the one she was holding, "which could offer a lot of important information for me on my research but it was secured at the bottom of one of my stacks," and here she gestured one free gloved hand to the table, which only had a few short remains of those former stacks of books, "and when I went to reach for it, well.." and the light in her eyes began to fade as she looked around to the mess again and sighed. "This was the end result in it." And she took a moment to swipe more messy whisps of black hair from her face before she frowned and peered up at him curiously, book still hugged to her chest.

"Are you... alright?" She shuffled the large books weight so that she now propped it against her hip. "The books didn't harm you, did they?" she asked softly, her eyes large as she once again was craning her neck to take the beast in. Yes... wasn't he a curious fellow!

She did not run.

She did not scream.

She did not run away screaming.

The bugbear was bewildered! He stared at her with his large golden eyes , blinking several times with a look of sheer stupor on his ugly mug. She , of course, couldn't see his beastly visage because it was concealed within the shadows cast over it by the cloak's cowl that was drawn up over his head. He scratched his head and , shaking his head as well as the numbness from his mind he replied, "Hurt me? Er...no. I'm a bu- er I'm tougher than I look," He asked slowly, sounding every bit as unintelligent as he truly was.

He looked around the room at the mess, " Wouldn't it have been easier to just look at 'em on the shelf or something?"

Why wasn't she scared of him? Why did she not freeze in terror and be rendered speechless in his awesomely terrible presence!? He wasn't sure whether or not he should have felt insulted or...

Oh! Of course! His disguise! It must have fooled her like everyone else. She simply wasn't prejudiced towards big and tall folks! Yes, that had to be it.

"So, you can read?" A silly question. The answer should have been obvious to him! Sadly, it wasn't.

Averella, still with her neck craned, stared blinkingly up at the cloaked figure. Then blinked again at his question.
"Read?" she frowned and shuffled the weight of the book she was holding. It was awful heavy. "But of course." she said, giving a slow shake to her head. "Can you not?" It certainly would explain the expression on his face.

"I CAN SO!" Urtok lowered his head to her eye level and semi- roared in her face, hot and sticky globs of his saliva splattering against her face. He realized his behavior was not very appropriate for his disguise after the fact (afterall, he was TRYING to be human!) and coughed. He straightened back up to his full height and tried again in a voice that was not quite so deafening this time.

"Uh...I mean . I can. I'm not dumb. I'm REALLY smart. " He boasted, puffing out his chest and crossing his arms over his massive chest. "I could read every book here. No problem. Yeah. They don't call me Professor Pigeonstomper for nothin'."   

Averella cringed at the spit, ad her eyes widened as she froze at the roar. She wasn't quite sure what to make of this, but fear was definitely one element screaming inside her head. She felt her nostrils burning, her eyes nearly rolling back to faint, when suddenly the creature began to talk and...
curiously she blinked and looked over the beast with some skepticism.
"You're.. a professor?" she questioned with a tilt of her head, and a tucking back of her hair, and you know.. a nonchalant removal of a kerchief from her jacket which she used to wipe off the spit from her face. "What are your specialties to teach? You seem I'm looking for information on Ancient Essyrnian myths and legends and well.." as she began to talk, she recalled the creatures feet.. then looked up into his face, saw the hair and spittle hanging off of his jowls, saw the wild glow of his eyes and gasped and took a few steps back, only then realizing.. he might be a creature without mercy. So he could talk, his snarls spoke other wise, as did his gaze and her heart was beating quite heavily inside her chest that it felt like someone was whackin ga drum.

"What?" Urtok didn't quite comprehend her question at first. He had to pause and think about this. It took him a few minutes. And she waited, staring at him unblinking. It was kind of creepy, the bugbear thought. He cleared his throat, "I teach the Study of Rare Magical Creatures, of course. Monsters are my particular focus of interest. I'm actually writing a book about bugbears. It's quite an eye-opener. Seriously misunderstood creatures, bugbears are." He puffed out his chest some more, his ego increasing as he mentally patted himself on the back of concocting such a clever lie.   

He completely ignored the bit about her mention of Ancient Essyrni. What the troll's spit was that? Better to pretend he hadn't heard her than to admit he didn't know what she was talking about because that might blow his cover.

I am so smart that I even fool myself sometimes. His ego was about large enough to fill  three floors of this library by now!

He now noticed a change in her demeanor and grinned, exposing some rather large but impressively hygienic fangs. It was , at least, the one thing about himself that he cared enough to take care of. After all, what was an awesome monster without AWESOMElY white teeth that weren't broken or missing!? No one was afraid of a toothless bugbear! 

"What's the matter? "He took a step toward her, "There something on my face?" He chuckled, his belly shaking with his rich, deep laughter that caused the floor to tremor beneath her. 

Averella paled a little as she took a step back, only then finally seeming to catch onto the gist of what he was talking about. Bugbears... monsters... Yep, and he was one of them!
Gasping, she dropped her book, which landed on HIS foot (and it probably was going ot hurt too... that book was heavy!) before she turned away to make her escape, only to find herself stumbling over the sea of books still piled high all around her.

The large tome fell on his foot, crushing his big toe. Urtok's eyes nearly bulged from their sockets and his expression contorted with what appeared to be rage. And in his rage he threw back his head and...

he bawled great salty tears like an overgrown, ugly, hairy  and very stinky baby .

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"




ooc: I'm sorry but ... I HAD TO!

At his scream, she flinched because he was roaring out his hot breath onto her face like a stream of wicked storm winds (that were also wickedly smelly, stinking of his lunch. He must have had fish).

But she blinked a few times, blinking back her own tears (as created by said stinky breath) and frowned when she realized what had happened.
"OH! Goodness!" she said, and reached down hastily to retrieve the book. "I am so, sorry about that! Goodness, I bet that hurt!"

"Graaahahahaha! I got a boo-boo!" The bugbear continued to wail and spittle and tears continued to fly in every-which direction. He pointed down with a thick, grimy black claw at his smarting foot. The bruise was hardly visible through all that thick brown beastly (and stinky!)  hair.  "There! " He stopped crying for a moment and paused to wipe the sleeve of his robe across his snotty nose. He wiped a few tears from his eyes, looking about ready to burst into another crybaby monster episode.   

Averella found herself simply staring at the creature. She wasn't sure what to make of the thing and it's wails as her brows raised upwards in question.
"Looks like your fur got a little flattened,"s he admitted with a blink.

"It's still here!" came a voice from around them. Startled, Lady Averella turned around and gasped, backing up into the bugbear as she grasped a hand to her chest, her eyes going wide. There were about ten city guards staring at them.

"Take it down, dead or alive!" the head librarian shouted with a demanding point of his finger. "And the girl too! She's the one responsible for all of this mess! Take her in alive to be fined."

"Buh...?" Urtok's big pointy ears twitched and whenever his ears twitched, he knew something bad was about to happen! Aha! He could hear footsteps and smell the stinky man scent approaching fast. Sure enough , half a score of mean looking humans clad in iron or steel (he wasn't sure which!) came running in waving their puny little man-made weapons at him. Urtok stared at the city guards then down at the little woman next to him and guffawed. "Gwah ha hah hah! " He wiped the drools from his dark lips and took in a deep breath, shortly afterwards expelling a roar so fierce that it'd make a lion soil its drawers (hypothetically speaking, naturally since lions do not , in  fact, wear such things!) When he was finished, he stopped to wipe more saliva from his lips and then flashed the humans a monsterish grin, "Boo!"

More than half the guard did soil themselves and fled, dropping their weapons and fleeing at top speed whilst screaming like terrified little girls. Those that remained hardly looked so eager to attack the beast now.

"Cowards! What are you waiting for!? Kill that monster! "

"I'm a bugbear!" Urtok protested, deeply offended that a librarian (and he was convinced this man was a phony!) wouldn't be able to tell.

"Whatever! You're still going to die!"

"Nuh uh!" Urtok grabbed Averella and hoisted her up a few feet clear off the ground, "I'm leaving now and I'm stealing your book sorceress! Nyah nyah!" He pulled a face at them , rolling his eyes and sticking out his tongue. "See ya never again, losers! GWA HAHAHAHA!"

And, whether poor Averella wanted it to happen or not, she was slung over the monster's shoulder like a sack of potatoes as he charged right through the human blockade. He continued his way down the stairs and thundered through the first floor of the library, knocking people aside as he passed by. He heard a resounding "SSSSSSSSH!" from the obnoxious old woman from behind the help desk and bellowed in the loudest of louder voices he had ever so LOUDLY replied, "NO YOU!"

And then he was out the exit and stumbling into the city streets with the book lady still riding unwillingly on his broad , hairy and so very stinky shoulder.

 

Ok, if there ever was a time to scream, now was it, and as Lady Averella was thrown onto the monster's shoulder, she let out an ear splitting wail, continuing to scream over and over again as the beast not only barreled through the remaining guards as if they were bowling pins, but through every and any patron of the library in his path. She was still screaming as he rushed out the doors, barreling like a steam engine. But what else could she do? ANd her screams were like a siren, and soon, the guards outside were alerted and looked their way, and a mean looking fellow on an iron-clad horse pointed a sharp spear their way as he growled fiercely trough his braided beard.

"Men! That lady there! It looks like a monster attack! Seize and disarm him! Go!" and soon, a garrison of armored knights outside began to storm their way; about six of them in all, all armed with pointed spears aiming directly for the beast.

Urtok sincerely regretted not thinking to tie up or gag the book sorceress. For not only could she make books rained down from the sky but she could was also the sorceress of making ears metaphorically bleed. "Uragh! Scream more quietly, will you!? My poor ears are sensitive, you know!?"

That request, predictably, was utterly ignored. The screaming continued! The bugbear gave a short, irritated sigh. Damsels in Distress these days! No class! No sense of regal composure!

After taking several steps outside, the bugbear suddenly skidded to a halt. He eyed the man on the shiny steed, then the group of city guards moving in for what he assumed to be the kill. Now THIS was exciting!This was better than being back home! A REAL adventure! REAL ACTION!

And real boo-boos...

Oh wait....

Crap!

Urtok looked around for a means of escape. No options immediately presented themselves to him and so he did the only thing he could do. "NOBODY MOVE!" He snarled and , grabbing Averella by the back of her dress he lifted her high above his shoulder and held her aloft. "OR I'LL DROP HER! "

The guards looked at one another , all probably thinking "Ooooookaaaay. Annnd?"

"And...." Urtok continued as if he could read their minds which was pretty creepy (though completely not true) , "I'll stomp on her head. Squish! Like a grape."

A long silence passed between humans and monster and then one of the guards gasped and pointed at the hairy beast, "It speaks! "

Urtok wrinkled his nose and snorted with derision, "Of COURSE It- er I mean I do! So what? You only notice this NOW?"

"It speaks words!" Another guard who apparently was a tad bit duller than the rest gawked, pointing in awe.

"Uh...yeah. We've kind of established this already." Urtok replied, growing ever annoyed with all this unnecessary redundancy.

"Do you think it's using telepathy to communicate with us? "

"No no . Bugbears aren't telepathic. "

"Well how do you know that? How many bugbears have you met?"

"I read it in a book once."

"So you read it in a book?"

"Yeah."

"Just one?"

"Uh huh."

"And you believe what's in it? Because...?"

"Cause it's in a book. It must be true."

"Actually, " another guard interjected, "my da taught me that you gorra read lots o' books t' git th' facts straight-loik. "

"OH WHO BLOODY CARES HOW I'M ABLE TALK TO YOU STOOPEEDS! Back to the part where I'm threatening to squish a woman's head like a GRAPE!"  Urtok roared. "ATTACK ME ALREADY!"

"He makes a good point, you know. "

"Shall we kill him now?"

"Yes. Lets!"

The guard charged forward.

"Oh troll's-breath!" Urtok swore and hastily fled back inside the library.

Lady Averella had quieted down in her screams the moment the banter had begun over what to make of a bugbear. She wasn't sure what to make of this conversation herself, but gasped and clung onto the furry beast as he rushed back into the library.
She was getting dizzy nad sick, but wasn't too far gone not to notice, "Oh my gosh! Professor! Watch out for the..." but it was too late, they were already heading back towards her slippery pile of books.

"Huh? What is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!?!" On the last word that was actually meant to be 'it' , Urtok's foot somehow (I honestly don't know either) slipped on a book and he went sliding along across the floor (why wasn't it carpet!?) and did the most ungraceful ballerina twirl ever performed. His massive hairy arms pinwheeled as he slid so awkwardly about with Averella clinging to his back though now her arms were circling tightly around his neck, holding on for dear life!

"Woah! Woah ! Woah! " Urtok tried to balance himself as best he could , though whenever he'd put another foot down he'd slip on another book and go awkwardly spinning around the room. It was like watching the worst ice-skating routine known to man but certainly the best known to bugbears (since bugbears don't usually ice-skate let alone know what ice-skating is!) .Not that bugbears tended to care about such things!

At long last their awkward routine came to an end and Urtok landed on his rump with an unceremonious thud.

And who should arrive then just on time but the angry phony librarian and the silly guardsmen who hadn't soiled their drawers yet! "YOU! MONSTER!" The phony pointed directly at him. Utrok's ears twitched.

"Uh oh.  "

"Look at this calamity you've brought upon MY LIBRARY!"

Urtok looked around , "I don't see a ca-"

"SSSSSSH!" That was like...the biggest and scariest of SSSSHs. Ever.

Urtok clamed his mouth shut and suddenly looked a small as a creature as immense as he could be. (which wasn't really that small at all) 

"DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THESE VOLUMES ARE WORTH?!"

Urtok started to open his mouth , but he never had the chance to speak. "FIRST EDITIONS! Does that MEAN anything to YOU!?"

"Er..."

"I didn't think so! And for that, I'm afraid there can be no forgiveness for you. I regret to inform you that you will be sent to Library Prison where you shall spend the rest of your days working off your debts. Most likely for all eternity."

Urtok stared at the man, dumbfounded, " There's really such a thing?"

"No , of course not you moron.No, I have a much worse fate in store for you and your little 'book sorceress'."

The bugbear's ears twitched again  . He glanced up at Averellea. "Uh oh."

Reaching into the pocket of his expensive looking vest, the librarian pulled out a roll of parchment and handed it to the bugbear. "Read it."

Urtok accepted the paper and pulled it open..."What's this? "

"Your library fine."

"Troll's-breath!"

From where she was perched still against the bugbear's back, Averella blinked and peered from over his shoulder at the massive scroll, her eyes following it endlessly.
"I have to say, they are rather well prepared here, aren't they? I'd think it would take me half a moon to figure out how much all of those books were to cost, even if I knew what hte price was and oh! I see an error!" nad she pointed right to it with a gloved finger. "See, that isn't right. I never got a book on possoms. It was a book on costumes," she corrected. "Costumes From Ancient Essyrn, though I suppose the books might cost the same and oh, I do see you have it listed down here. But oh, good heavens, I didn't get this book out either. I don't even know what a bicycle is.."

The 'phony' librarian's face fell, "What? That's..." He reached forward and snatched the parchment out of Averella's hand , blushing furiously, "Sorry. Wrong one. " He rummaged around in his vest pocket and brought forth a second parchment and handed it to Averella, "There. THAT is your fine."

"It's not mine," Urtok started to protest but the angry phony librarian silenced him with a glare.

Silence for a moment, "So how much are they sockin' ya for?"

As Averella took the scroll, it kept unrolling itself, and kept going and going and going... snaking it's way onto the floor as Averella's eyes scanned over the thing in it's entirety.
"Goodness,"S he said when she got to the end, a dainty hand to her cheek. "There's an error, right here. You spelled Essyrn wrong. See? You put an 'i' instead of a 'y' and yes.. see that there?" ANd then to Urtok's question she glanced up from where her nose had been in the scroll bill, a smudge of ink at the tip of it.

"Oh, it's about five hundred thousand in gold."

"Oh. I see." Urtok replied ,matching the casualness of his "captive's " tone. It took a couple minutes for things to settle into his tiny but very awesome brain. Two minutes transpired and realization sunk in. The bugbear did a double take, "WHAT!?" He roared  , saliva hitting everyone within close range. The ground and walls shook in terror! (well, not really)

He snatched the parchment from Averella's hand and looked at himself. Stared at the funny symbols and snorted. "Five hundred thousand!? Are you serious? "

"Quite," the phony librarian replied . He pulled out a kerchief from his vest pocket and wiped the icky bugbear saliva from his face.

"How am I suppose to kidnap her properly if she's in DEBT to the library!? "

The librarian stared at him, " Perhaps you could assist her in paying the debt?"

Urtok paused to consider this, tugging on the long braided furry beard that hung from his chin, " ME? Why ? Oh. Uh..."

"You're a monster, yes? Surely you have treasure you've hoarded somewhere?"

Urtok blinked, "I'm supposed to have treasure?  Nobody told me that in Bugbear school..."The other bugbears had tricked him into thinking he needed to give it away to their random 'charities' . "Troll's breath...those hairy bas-"

"So I take it that you're broke?" The phony librarian frowned.

"Uh...no, no. See, I'm goin' on a quest. Yeah. To save a kingdom from...evil ...uh...monsters. And uh...if...I succeed...I'm gonna be rewarded. Yeah. Like ten times as much gold as this fee. By the queen!"

"....there is no queen. "

"The king?"

The librarian face-palmed. "Just arrest these clowns."

As the events were transpiring, or rather, the dialogue exchanged between the pair, Lady Averella politely added in, "Oh, it's a Grand Duke that rules these areas. They haven't had a proper ruling of a King in, landsakes goodness, ages..."s he said, thinking it over. "Yes, I believe there was a great war and.."
Then she gasped, noticing a few of the soldiers were now heading their way, sharp spears in hand.
"Goodness! But I hadn't meant to do anything to get arrested!" she cried out. Oh by the Gods of the Desert, weren't they in a bit of a pretty pickle?

ooc: Landsakes? What is she? A hick? lol....just doesn't seem like something someone from Ancient Essyrn would say . x3

ic:

Despite their protests they were whisked away by the city guard and tossed together in the local jail , locked away in a cell together.

"Are you sure we ought to leave the girl in there with that beast? " The first guard inquired.

"Maybe he'll eat her," The other guard laughed as the two of them walked away, "that'll be one less prisoner to worry about."

"Hahahaha! That's true!"

Urtok grabbed at the bars and shouted after them, "For your information, I don't eat hairless monkeys! "

He sighed and sat down on the cold stone floor, "So this is library prison? I knew it existed!" He sighed again and threw his massive hairy arms up in the air, "Well, this is a FINE mess you've gotten us into, book sorceress! I thought you wizardly types are supposed to have tons of money! I've never met a broke sorceress before. " He pouted and crossed his hairy arms over his massive chest. "Oh man, now what? I'm never gonna find the tower of evil and be able to rid my cave of those bloody pigeons. I can see it now...there will be bird shit and rodent crap everywhere!"

Averella blinked as she stared up at the large hairy beast.
"We do seem to be in a bit of a pickle now don't we?" SHe frowned and looked around, sighing before peering back up again. "Oh, I'm not a sorceress," she began to say, when the loud bark of laughter from the guards down the hall startled her. It seems they had started a card game. She frowned, then looked back up at him. "Now what do we do? I.. I can't be stuck in here, forever, or I'll.." she fidgeted, wringing her wrists together. "Oh dear, this isn't good, this isn't good at all."
What if they found out she was really just some living corpse? Things could get quite ugly indeed, and she feared for what they might do to her boney-body once it was discovered. Thankfully, for now, she wasn't in the stage yet for decomposing.... but that didn't mean the time would not be near.
"This isn't good. All of this trouble over a few books I need for research. And it's been thousands of years and I still have yet to find the answers I'm searching for. Oh, by the desert spirits, is this ever bad!" And she sunk into the corner and pouted.

"But you made the books rain. How can you do that if you're not a sorceress?"

Urtok blinked stupidly. Most of what she was saying sort of went over his head, however he caught the last part of her outburst and said curiously, " You're thousands of years old? What are you? An elf? But your ears aren't pointy....ohhhh. Are you a vampire? Cause that would be awesome. But I thought they were supposed to like...have a heart-attack in the sunlight or something."

Lady Averella grew quiet and blushed at his statement.
"Oh... I'm not either I just erm... look very good for my age." she said, tucking back her lips and averting his gaze. Things were getting too awkward here and she'd rather not reveal that she was a mummy and idly itched at her wrist. Oh no... she just hoped that wasn't the signal for the onset of her next phase of decomposing. And here she was, so many hundreds of miles from her sarcophagus!

Urtok was the dullest knife in the drawer, but he was still quite sharp enough to perceive her lie as she told it. He grinned toothily at her and shrugged, "Fine, don't tell me, but whatever you are it's probably not as scary or awesome as I am. "

He sighed, "Meh. That tailor lied to me! This disguise didn't work.  Might as well be rid of it," He lowered the cowl of his cloak, revealing a monsterish head that appeared to be a bizarre cross between a bear, a wolf, a demon. 

"So , what about this research of yours?   What are ya lookin' for? "

"Oh, um!" she looked around frantically, as if someone might be watching,t hen peered up curiously to the creature. She flinched a bit, even laughed nervously, "The thing of it is, it's um, just a little research into the ancient history of Essyrn and all...er.. have you ever been? It's really quite lovely. It has a vast desert and jungle, and even an area there made completely of glass. It's quite beautiful. I've been there once, but it's quite dangerous. I wouldn't suggest traveling alone. And then the cities.." she sighed dreamily. "The cities really are beautiful full of large sandstone buildings and glittering streets full of every color." And it was there, locked inside her cell, she began to miss her home, a home that all but vanished some millenia ago...
STaring at the floor, now crest fallen, she grew silent, when a ratty man with a long ratty, white beard and only one tooth and a hump on his back came waddling over to their cell, wiping away tears at his cheeks.

"That's a lovely story. I hope you get out of here someday to see your home again. It sounds beautiful."

Averella looked up at the man and was taken back.
"Oh, why, er.. thank you." ANd she flinched when the old man began to blow his nose. It sounded more like a trumpet than anything.

"Here, if you need a kerchief, you can borrow mine," he said mournfully, attempting to hand the soggy thing to her through the cell bars.  Averella grit her teeth.

"Erm, no thank you, but thanks anyways.."s eh said, with a small and nervous laugh as she inched away from the cooky man's cell.

"Deserts? " Urtok shook his head. No, he'd never seen one. He'd been in Connloath his whole life and for most of it, he'd only ever seen Hellvion. "Nawr. I've never been to this Essyrn before. "

The bugbear observed the exchange between the old man and Averella and then he held out a massive hand, "If she doesn't need it, I-"

"Get your own, you hairy lummox!" The old man spat and drew away as if repulsed by the idea of sharing with Urtok.

Urtok growled and stood up, his head nearly touching the ceiling. "Man, this place is boring! How long do we gotta stay here in library prison?" He whined. He looked down the hallway at the four guards seated around the table laughing and having a good time with their stupid card game and that didn't make him very upset. He found himself smiling a little. But then....

he heard a cooing noise behind him and spun around so suddenly. He pushed Averella out of the way and stomped over to the back wall of the cell. At eye level, perched in the tiny barred window sat a pigeon staring back at them.

"Mocking me, are ya!? Think you've won , do you? RAAAAAARHGH!" He threw himself at the stone wall and it broke, collapsing under his immense weight.

"Hey!" The ratty old man cried after the bugbear , "Take me with you!"

The bugbear tumbled out into the daylight and out onto the street. The pigeon, of course, flew away.

"Don't think this is over!" Urtok snarled and shook his fist skyward.

The people on the streets all froze and stared at the monster who was no longer so cleverly disguised. One man pointed at him and gasped , "It's hideous!" One woman fainted straight away.

Urtok looked around , blinking, "Oh...hey. Hi. How ya doin'? Nice day , huh? I like your uh....streets. Very clean."

The people stared a little more . Then there was panicking and screaming.

Urtok guffawed and slapped his large belly. "Gwa hahahaha! Humans."

The guards inside the prison were already out of their seats , running towards Averella's cell, "Damn beast ! He's escaped..."

And perhaps, if Averella had a mind to, she was also nowhere to be found. 

Lady Averella's eyes went wide as the round tower of Copenhagen as Urtok bashed the wall clean over, and all over a little tweeting whistle from a bird. Once the dust had settled, she shielded her eyes from the light and peered out. ANd outside there was utter chaos. But at the sounds of the guards she jumped clean otu of her skin, whirling around as the guards now opened the cell door.

"After him!" they shouted, and one man remained behidn pointing his blade at the girl.
"And you, girly, you are NOT going anywhere." and she held up her hands in surrender, finding herself cornered against the wall while the other three men were unsheathing their weapons and racing towards Urtok.

"Be still, foul beast!" one of the men shouted and swung his blade at his arm. "We will take you down, monster or not! Connlaothian soldiers do not fall prey to foul beasts but foul beasts fall prey to US! Now kneel, you scallop! Kneel before us or face the consequences!"

Urtok watched the little man threaten him ,brandishing a sword that, to Urtok, looked more like a knife he'd use to spread butter over toast. Mmmm. He rather liked toast. He started to drool a bit over the thought. A nice hot slice of toast with a little butter and Mrs. Jenning's fresh home-made Strawberry Jam. So yummy! He rubbed his belly and licked his lips , daydreaming about all the wonderful foods Mrs. Jennings always made for him (so he'd leave her be and let her famous jams for everyone else in Languish!) . But a sharp prod from a sword blade in the belly made Urtok's attention snap back to the obnoxious little human poking him.

"Scallop? Are you blind? I'm a bugbear! DUR!" He reached forward and smacked the blade away. It went flying high and free, spinning like a propeller towards a woman with a very tall wig that resembled a beehive.

Lady Driscoll was feeling quite fabulous today in her brand new wig. A certain Duke had utterly ruined the last several ones she had and they were quite difficult to replace, but these hair pieces of hers were worth every piece of gold she had paid for them! Why, everyone on the street stopped to stare in awe! (more like in horror or amusement) She knew they envied her because it was such a fine wig! Oh! She couldn't wait to show Lady Virleena!How jealous she would be!

It was quite a tragedy and if Lady Driscoll had been looking both ways before crossing the street as she should have, she might have seen the flying sword spinning her way. Unfortunately, she did not and her beautiful hair paid the price! The blade sliced through the top, of her wig, taking it clean off and Lady Driscoll screamed as the spinning sword continued on its way.

Urtok ignored all of this and looked over at Averella, " Hey! That's MY book sorceress! Give her BACK!" He shoved his way through the men, knocking only one and not pausing to watch all three of them fall over one another like line of dominoes. He grabbed Averella against her will (probably) and slung her over his hairy shoulder like a sack of potatoes again.

And off he ran !

Lady Averella flinchedas the man's blade pointed at her.
"Now, now, there's a good guard. Just keep that pointed blade right where it is and we can be friends, hrm? I won't cause any trouble, see? I'm just as obliging as any other old-" but as the lady was rambling up a storm and finding  every and any excuse to sat to this guard s he would not gut her, the guard was knocked aside and Averella, suddenly plucked up within Urtok's clutches.

By now you'd think she'd have gotten used to this, but as the man ran, he had her upside down, nd her hair was coming undone and fluttered down in black, streaming waves and her skirts having come down clean over her head, revealing her tall boots and silken undergarments as she began to scream.

"Put me down! Put me down right now!"s he shouted, and as she fought against her skirts, trying to get them down when they were up and she upside down, other guards raced onto the scene, cross bows at the ready, and soon bolts and arrows were sailing their way, and it was just at that moment she had finally gotten her own skirts off of her head when she noticed the arrows and her face contorted into pure horror as she screamed...a nd screamed and screamed and screamed.

"Run, Professor! Run before the men turn us into pincushions!"she shrieked. The last thing she needed was to be full of arrows and to be leaking sand! Then everyone would know her secret.a nd that HORRIFIED her!

"Woman! Calm down and make up your MIND And for the love of an orc's hairy sack , will ya quit kickin' me?!" Urtok snarled back at her as he thundered down the street with soldiers running after them. Out of the corner of his eye, Urtok saw the arrows streak by his vision, felt the rush of air pass him by a narrow margin.

He grinned like a madbeast and cackled, "GWRAHAHAHAHA! You idiots couldn't hit a giant's backside if your lives depended on EEEEEEEEEEET!"

An arrow found it's mark. Right in left butt cheek. Hot tears streaked in the bugbear's eyes as he turned the corner.

As Urtok 'GWRAHAHAHAHA!ed!', Averella let out an ear shattering shriek. He had nearly dropped her and she was being thrown around like a rag doll. And his antics only halted when one of the arrows sank into his butt. She had a good view of that now, still draped over his shoulder as she gasped, placing two gloved hands about her cheeks.
"There's an arrow in your butt!"

OOC: Way to point out the obvious XD

"Buh?" Urtok glanced over his shoulder and down after hearing Averella's declaration , "Troll's breath! There IS an arrow in my butt!" He started to tear up, but he kept himself from crying again. He was a big boy now! A big , tough bugbear boy. Crying was not allowed. No crying. NO! He started to cry.

He sharply turned down another street and into a narrow alley (which hardly accommodated his massive girth )  , knocking over trash bins and the occasional bum. The guards weren't far behind and one of them shot a second arrow into the other cheek of his hairy, aching rump.

"YEOWCH!"

He noticed a peculiar thing up ahead to his left, some ways before the end of the alley. There was a door and a wooden sign cut out in the shape of cauldron and painted quite artfully. The sign read: "The Gigianson's Sisters's Scrumptious Cheese Wheels and Practical Potions ". The bugbear squinted at it , unable to make out the words. What compelled him to stop suddenly and pull open that door to the curiously named shop, not even Urtok knew!

As he stumbled through the door, he heard a little bell chime above him. The room was dimly lit with various floating candles and the room smelt quite strongly of cheese and...Urtok sniffed. Rat feces? He looked around, wooden shelves lined the room stuffed with bottles of all different colors and sizes, there were also cheese wheels of as varying a selection. A few mice scurried across his path as he stepped fully into the shop.

"Shut the door please," an old, shaky voice rasped from the far corner of the room where the OLDEST and possibly the UGLIEST old woman he'd ever seen in his life sat behind a desk, hunched over an enormous book with a quill in hand , writing something. She was a tall, very skinny and bony old thing. She had a huge, long nose tipped with a wart and yellowed, spotted skin. Her long, frizzy hair was black with streaks  of grey running through it. However, perhaps the UGLIEST thing about her was her one eye, the other eye was missing and replaced by a gaping dark empty socket.

Urtok did as he was told and when he did (and he didn't know this yet) the door vanished!

"Oh boy, Addison! Customers!" Another old woman declared merrily and clapped her hands with equal enthusiasm as she hopped out of her rocking chair nestled beside the desk where the first woman sat furiously scribbling away. She was....about as ugly as the first woman , but looked a little more like an ordinary old woman. She was shorter, and much rounder with rosy cheeks and short, curly white hair.

"Probably just a couple of beggars again, Ethel. " The other old woman rasped, not bothering to look up from her writing.

ooc: I don't know where I'm going with this so uh...have fun lol.

Averella, who was still perched precariously upon the professor's back, blinked curiously as they stepped inside the Cheese and Potion shop. She probably appeared dwarfed as she was half buried in his fur.  And from her place upon his shoulders, she peered around and noticed the rats and mice on the floor, and the dust and cobwebs collecting on the wares.

She lifted up a delicate hands to her lips and commented, "My, what a dreary place." But no sooner did she speak did her bones begin to ache a little, and she felt herself paling and nearly ready to faint. No, no.. she had better not be decomposing! This would not do! But then recompsing herself, she noticed something most curious in the corner-

a large, smoldering cauldron, so she asked the only thing she could logically think of when she said, "So, is this a magic shop?"
Perhaps that's why her own pair of old bones were aching.

"Magic shop !? In Connlaoth?! N-no, no! Of course not,  dearie! We're not witches or anything silly like that! We're herbalists! Every potion is specially made from nicely crushed plants and flowers that we pick ourselves,  " Ethel exclaimed a bit too loudly and then followed up her statements by cackling nervously.

"Aw, " such news caused Urtok's spirits to deflate. His large, pointy ears drooped a bit with his disappointment, "I was hoping they were magical. Because that would've been awesome. Especially if there was an awesome potion you had because then I could like drink it and be even more awesome. I'm not sure if that's possible though because I am pretty awesome already... "

Addison looked up from her writing then , setting her quill down she left her desk and hobbled over to stand before the bugbear. She reached up with her bony hand toward her face and plucked out her eye.

"WOW! That's cool! Teach me how to do it!" The bugbear clapped his hands excitedly as if he'd just seen the best magic trick in his short life.

"A bugbear? Hrm. It's been a long time since I've seen one. You are seeking a potion, yes? "

"Well, not exactly . See, me and this vampire book sorceress escaped from library prison because she was too cheap to pay five hundred thousand gold for ruining a crap ton of books. So now we have a bunch of guys in shiny outfits trying to poke me with their sharp sticks. " He turned around and stuck out his rear, "They also shot me in the butt. Twice. I didn't even do anything to deserve it.  "

The hags looked at the arrows protruding from the monster's hairy rump then at each other. Addison popped her eye back into its appropriate socket and turned to her sister, " Hrm. We might be able to be of some assistance with your uh...interesting problem."

Urtok straightened up and turned around to face them, "Really? Great! Wait...how?"

"We're low on some ingredients . Particularly from bugbears. If you wouldn't mind parting with a few minor things-"

"Very minor. You'll hardly miss them at all." Ethel interrupted with a giggle.

"Oh. Okay. What would that be?" Urtok inquired.

Addison shot a murderous glare at her older sister then smiled at Urtok, " Oh, you know. Some hair, maybe a fang or two, some nail clippings, toe jam, dandruff, mucus, eyelashes, earwax,  a gallon of your lifeblood, one of your kidneys...you know, small and unimportant things like that."

"My kidneys?" Urtok frowned, "What's that?"

"Nothing you need, dearie." Ethel assured. "And in exchange, we'll give one free potion of your choosing. It's quite a steal! "

"It is. You're practically getting it for free." Addison added.

Urtok looked up at Averella, "Okay. She'll do it."

ooc: lol.  Pausing for reactions . Feel free to control the hag sisters though because I'm just making things up as I go!

"Um..." Averella began to say, hoping to interjection some thought on the matter as the two old hags were asking the professor about giving up his parts. "Um, yes, excuse me?" But it seemed the conversation carried on, and her large green eyes simply blinked, a frown upon her lips as she adjusted herself from where she was still thrown over the bugbear's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "You know a liver is rather important.." she tried to say, and then at the blood comment, "Goodness, that is quite a lot of blood." Especially considering, she no longer had any. But then when at long last the conversation did get to her, she found herself blinking again.

"Me?" she said, her lips falling open as she simply stared at the group. "I don't even think I possess half of the items they request and well, further more I'd rather us be going, and professor, if you could put me down, I am very capable of walking now..." she said, peering over her shoulder, "Oh dear.. where did the door go?" It seemed to all but have melted away.

"Oh..." the one sister held her eye up to examine Averella. "Is she the vampire book sorceress you speak of?"

Averella cringed as the eye was brought towards her, and noted the boney fingers around it and the goop and spider dangling off the eye. It reminded her too much of her own decomposition, and she shuffled uneasily about upon the professor's shoulder.

"I am not, that is to say, what you think I am," Averella began. "Now, professor, if you would so kindly place me down.."

And Addison's grin grew wicked as she took Averella's hand and gave it a sniff.

"Ah, she smells ripe as a corpse," the old croon cackled.

"A corpse?" her sister piped up.

"Yes, good heaven's, a very, very ancient corpse."

Averella's lips quivered before her mouth gaped open. SHe yanked her hand away, growing silent as she squirmed ontop of the bugbear's shoulder.

"We,.. should.. probably get going now..' Averella tried to warn him, seeing the darkened looks upon the two old hags. "I don't think they're offering to us what you think they're offering to us-"

"Oh, but we are," Addison pressed."

"Indeed," Ethel agreed, and as Addison stepped forward, she gestured to a large bone cage hanging from the ceiling, and then a cauldron brewing below it.

"If you'd deposit the lady intot he bone cage, we can take her off of your shoulders," Addison chuckled.

"Yes, and give you two potions for it," Ethel pressed with a purr.

"Yes, for we are quite interested in what she has to offer to us."

"Yes, ancient bones, withered heart.."

"Tongue of dust!" the second sister cackled,a dn soon, the pair of them were laughing and moving closer and closer towards the bugbear and Averella, cornering them against the side of their shop where the door had once been.

"So how's about it? A few helpful potions for a woman who has caused you misery," Addison pressed.

"Yes, think of all of the book fines you will be leaving behind!" Ethel reminded, and both sisters gave a sinister grin and dark eyed look at the pair.

"Corpse? " Urtok sniffed , taking in Averella's scent. He wrinkled his nose, " Naw. I think she smells fine. Though she might need a shower. Smells a little earthy. "

The bugbear's ears started twitching even before Averella suggested leaving, but when Urtok turned around , he noticed the door was no longer there. "Uh oh." 

He turned back around and regarded the "bone cage" that the hags wanted to stuff his book sorceress into with a frown, " I don't know..."

They offered him not one, but TWO whole potions for her. It WAS a tempting offer and all they wanted from her was her heart and other organs that she probably didn't need. As long as she had her brain , she'd still be fine. Right? But wait...what? They wanted....what?

"Woah...woah...woah! Time out, Ettle and Addice-or whatever you're called. Uh...lemme get this straight. You want me to trade her for two potions ....so you cut out her heart?" He didn't wait for them to answer, "Okay. You can have her."
And without further urging, he did exactly as the wicked old hags desired and plucked poor Averella shoulders then stuffed her into the cage and shut the door himself. He even locked the cage with the key he was handed and didn't pay much mind to Averella's protests.

His end of the bargain complete, the bugbear spun around to face the hags. He clapped his hands together, "Alright. I'll be taking those two potions about now."

Ooc: Terrible. xD

Averella let out a gasp once he began to parade her on over to the bone cage, and was attempting to reason with him when she was stuffed into the cage with an 'ooomf!' Barely managing to fit with her puffy skirts, she threw herself at the cage door, just as Urtok locked her in it.
"Wait!" she said, reaching out to him with desperation sparkling in her green eyes, but he had his back turned to her as she wilted through a pout.

THe eyes of the two sister's, however, were positively sparkling.

"Bone of darkness, bone of snake, trap the woman inside before it's too late," Ethel chanted and the lock was replaced with an iron snake's mouth, wicked with blood colored jewels spakrling within the recessses of it's eyes.

"And tough of hide, tough of skin, tuft of hair and tough with sin, before us there's a monster to beat, and for him, two potions to keep!" Addison chanted, but the last parts the two joined in together,a nd Ethel, now iwth a bottle containing an orange lizard in hand, uncorked it and tossd it into the cauldron, it light up in a puff of bright smoke..
that of which caused Averella to cough.

"Can you please try not to do that again?" Averella inquired with a pout. "I do believe I might be allergi.. ACHOO! To.. to.. to smoke." she said, sniffling.

Ooc : lol I've no idea what I'm doing...

Ic:

The hag sisters now joined hands and danced around the cage of bones, continuing their peculiar rhyming in a sing-song chant, "Eye of ancient, spleen of goat, turn the fool into a stoat!" Addison removed her eye and tossed it splashing down into the bubbling cauldron. Icky goop, spider and all. Ethel cackled gleefully and tossed in a bloody slab of meat that probably WAS a goat's spleen.

"Fool? What are you two babbling about? Just hurry up already and- " Urtok began to say, but then he stopped talking and his mouth hung open as he watched EVERYTHING grow larger around him until he felt so small that – well, at least he was slightly larger than the rat that scurried by him. 

Wait a moment. Something wasn't right! He knew it too because his ears were twitching again.

Urtok noticed a shadow fall over him. He looked up and he squeaked!
Wait. Squeaked? That wasn't right! Bugbears didn't make such pathetic noises!
A large black shroud fell over him and the world was dark, smothering him. He crawled on hands and knees through the black maze for what seemed like forever. He probably would have been at it for hours (because the fool was going in circles!) until Ethel plucked Urtok's clothing off of him with a cackle then seized Urtok the STOAT by the tail and held him aloft.

Urtok panicked! How come he was one of the few things that were SMALL in this room!? He thrashed about wildly in the air and tried to bite and scratch at the GIANT witch but his struggles ceased when she held him over the boiling brew. It wasn't the heat from the scalding concoction that made his heart leap up into his throat though.

In the reflection of the brew, he saw himself. Not as a bugbear, but as a bloody STOAT!

The book sorceress was RIGHT! These witches a rotten sort! They hadn't honored their promise to him at all! They were rotten cheats! LIARS! Thieves! Oh! They were going to pay!

"And now for the finishing touch! Ehehehehehe! In you go, my pretty!" Ethel cackled and released her hold on Urtok's tail.

And down he fell....to meet with his blistering doom!

OOC: I still have no idea what to post XD
buuuuuuuuut, forcing myself to post something anyway!
<3
--------------

Lady Averella's eyes went as wide as saucers the moment the spell took hold. The once furry bugbear now shrunk to less than half it's size, and became increasingly smaller until she could barely see it, so it was almost too late when the old women cackled and tried to cast the poor professor into their broiling stew. It was only then things were beginning to surface in her mind the severity of their situation as she cried out, throwing herself against the bone cage, which knocked it into a nearby shelf, and toppled over a few contents from it.

Glass jars full of eyes and toads and flies and leeches all went tumbling down, splashing into the cauldron and making it rumble and shake and spew out growing, coughing plumes of smoke. Averella's mouth fell open, and before she knew it-
The entire shop exploded.



As the dust settled, Averella found her breath, and was soon coughing from all of the dust. her hair and dress were a mess, but she found herself no longer hanging up within her cage, but now on the ground within her bone cage, and the mess about her quite the sight to see. And after a moment of not seeing any other life-like activities, she began to wonder what had become of hte old ladies.. and of the stoat.

"P...professor?" she asked meekly through another cough.



OOC: WHen all else fails, just blow things up? >_>

Wild desperation gripping him , Urtok the stoat (the very AWESOME stoat, by the way) threw out his four furry little legs, bracing them against the 'walls' of the cauldron and halting his plunge into the bubbling brew that looked like scalding mucus and smelled like a thousand sweaty old people stuffed into one room without any kind of ventilation system.

Then things were falling down on him. An enormous eyeball knocked him into the boiling snot ! He thought he was DOOMED but then...

The cauldron exploded like a volcano, sending him sailing through the air, covered in icky , sticky green goop! He hit one of the cheese wheels on a shelf and stuck there.

Hearing the book sorceress calling for him, he hastily extracted himself from the cheese wheel and tumbled to the dusty floor. " Here!" He called out to her but he was so small and she might not have seen him , let alone understood what he was saying! "Troll's-breath!" He cursed his ill luck. "I'm never dealing with creepy women that rhyme again! I always thought people who rhyme were kinda shifty- woah!"

He felt quite terribly odd all of a sudden and , suddenly, the world was shrinking (or , more likely , he was getting taller!) . When it stopped,he stood there looking around. Had he turned back to his old self?

"Why is it so cold all of a sudden?" Urtok complained and then caught a glimpse of the most hideous of creatures he'd ever seen in the mirror; a human man . A very naked one. And he screamed like a girl. " ARGH! What is THAT THING!? Kill it with fire, sorceress!  "  He punched the mirror with his  little hairless fist and broke the glass. But where he, as a bugbear, wouldn't have felt the stinging pain of glass seeing how incredibly wimpy and hairless he was...

"OH! This is SO not awesome!" Urtok sobbed.

And the arrows were still protruding from his rear.

Ooc: All of this seems perfectly legit.

At the sight of the naked man, Lady Averella's jaw dropped open.
"Goodness!" and she ducked her head, hiding her eyes behind her gloved hands as her cheeks turned pink. "Professor, I do think you are naked! Might I suggest you find some clothes?"

And that's when a dusty-faced, burnt haired witch of a woman threw herself at Averella's cage, growling in her face. Averella's once hated cheeks paled as she cowered, unable to tell which witch this was.

"You worthless towel," the witch seethed, smoking coming out of her mouth along with her words, as she threw open the bone cage and grabbed onto Averella's wrist. "Now that our potion is useless, you are coming with me!" And before the woman knew what was going on, she was dragged away, nearly falling down a staircase that was well hidden behind the shop's front desk.

"What!? Where are we going!?" Averella asked, trying to fight the grip, but somehow the old woman was strong.

"To tear out your bones, ancient one," the woman hissed. "And to lick off the flesh from them."

"Oh.." Averella said, but then blinked. "What!?" She tried to fight the pull more dramatically now, throwing herself back onto the steps, which only aggravated the witch, who gave a painful pull before successfully dragging Averella into the bowels of her shop.

"Please! I need my bones!" she protested, but the woman seemed not to hear her, as she slammed the door close to the basement, throwing a wooden bolt before it, sealing it shut. Averella threw herself at it, but the witch grabbed her by the hair.

"There is no use fighting us girl, you are mine."

Urtok looked down at his hairless, pale , smooth-skinned body. He was a fairly handsome creature in this state by general human standards. He was tall, broad, muscular but by bugbear standards? Puny, hairless, UNSIGHTLY! He screamed like a terrified school-girl, "My HAIR! " He felt his face desperately...feeling the small, pathetic patch of man-scruff that fiercely guarded his square jaw. He opened his mouth, felt his teeth. No fangs! What replaced them were sad, flat little man teeth! He felt the luxurious dark mane on his head, but it wasn't quite as impressive as what he'd once had! And he had no horns either!  This hair was smooth and thick by human standards but quite thin and sad by his! He felt his small, rounded ears and nose.

"No, no, no! All wrong! This is SO not awesome! This is...disastrous! Horrifying! I can't believe this!Those creepy old hags STOLE my HAIR!" 
He was so upset that he was completely ignoring Averella even as she was being stolen away by Ethel.

He went on raving about how UNAWESOME his situation was until he noticed how quiet it was and looked up, "Sorceress? " He blinked and looked around the ruined shop. Aside from a rat that scurried across his path, he was alone. "Great! She was probably scared of my hideous transformation and ran away. NOW what will I do?!"

He growled and , quite foolishly, yanked the two arrows from his posterior.
And screamed like a little girl again, baby-man tears streaming down his face.

It was so not awesome.

He then, curiously, made his way over to Addison's desk and went through her things. "Maybe there's a cure here somewhere for this disease I have..." He muttered to himself, grabbing random bottles and glaring at the labels hopelessly. "It's no use! " He moaned dramatically and threw a potion at one of the cheese wheels which simultaneously burst into flames upon impact. "I can't read any of this without her! How will I know which one will make me awesome again!?"   

It was only then that he noticed the conspicuous stairway leading down to a floor level beneath the ground right behind Addison's chair, "Sweet. A hidden treasure room!" Urtok forgot his woes temporarily and stumbled down the stairs, giddy as a child in a candy store. "I wonder what kind of awesome treasures are down here. Maybe an ancient sword made of gold or magical underwear that cleans my butt so that I don't have to! Speaking of my butt...argh...it hurts even more than usual. It must be because I have no hair. " He paused at the door at the bottom of the stairs and knocked on it a few times, "Hello? Any monsters guarding treasure in there? "

No answer. He grabbed the door knob and twisted it but it held fast.

"Curses! It's locked!" He grinned, "Hah! Not a problem. I can take this door easy. " He took a couple steps back and charged at it bodily, ramming his shoulder into it like he normally would and expecting it to yield to his superior strength!

The result , however, was not at all what he expected nor was it pretty. He hit the door as hard as he could, but it remained where it was and he felt pain in his shoulder. Since when had he become SO feeble!?

Oh wait...now he remembered! Stupid man-disease! Stupid potions and rhyming hags!

"I...think I might have...broken something..." He winced.

He thought he heard voices then on the other side of the door. He pressed his little, round and flat ear against it and listened.

"Attack this door until you rot, " Addison crowed.

Let you in, we will not!" Ethel cackled gleefully.

The rhyming was followed by more, even louder cackling.
Troll's-breath were they ANNOYING!

Urtok snarled and pounded on the door with his fist, "GAH!  Open this door right now! I'm going to punch you both in your dumb , hair-stealing faces you thieving witches!"

OOC: baby-man tears streaming down his face.... looooool

---------------

Averella let out a shriek once her hair was grabbed, and a ripping crack against her backside made her realize...
'Oh no!' she thought 'I'm starting to decompose!'
It always happened from the inside out. Organs began to wither first, then flesh and muscle, too. The bugs always made her uncomfortable, especially the ticking wriggling bite of maggots. Thankfully, it always started out small, but it was definitely beginning now. BUt why NOW of all times!? And for the briefest moment, she was too shocked to fight back, that was, until she heard the professor's voice.

"Professor!"s he shouted, tearing herself away from the two old hags and throwing herself at the door. "I'm inside here! THe women want to tear out my bones!" and that made her quite frightened indeed as she desperately attempted to move the wooden bolt, when one of the old women came her way, latching onto her wrist and yanking her from the door.

"P-PROFESSOR!" she screamed, but it might have been drowned out by the old women's cackles as they strapped her down onto a rock table, limbs spread out into the shapes of stars. And a glint from the corner had her gasping when she noticed Addison with a knife.

"P-... Professor!" she screamed, her heart nearly in her throat when the dagger came down, right into her wrist, drawing heaps of sifting sands instead of blood. Addison removed the dagger with a gasp.

"She does not bleed!" And her eyes twinkled at that, before she slammed the knife once again into her wrist and cut down, down down, until a large gaping wound was left wide open in her arm, exposing her precious bones, and it appeared asi f the two old hags lips were glistening as much as their lips.

"It is true," Ethel purred. "She is an ancient one. With ancient bones."

"And I bet ancient teeth."

"Ancient eyes..."

"And a very ancient curse.." that of which made Addison pause in thought as she observed Averella, who was now laying there, crying upon the table. She then moved to point the knife directly at Averella's throat. "I demand you tell us about your curse girl. Who preserved you and from what era are you from?"

But Averella was too frightened to answer, and Ethel interrupted her thoughts with a laugh.

"What does it matter? He will be pleased!"

"To think, we can offer him a true, immortal bride!"

"He?" Averella swallowed the knot within her throat. "Bride?"

And the dark look the old witches were giving her terrified her to her bones.

"And if he does not want her..." Addison began, licking her lips.

"We can eat her bones," Ethel said, finishing her thoughts.

Ooc: I know. The image is hilariously burned into my mind.
Ic:
"Okay. Alright. I didn't want to have to use this but..." he took a deep breath, " Open the door PLEASE." He waited. Waited.  And glared at the door that STILL wouldn't open. " Oh come on! Whoever told me 'please' was a magic word was full ogre dung!" He grabbed the door knob with both hands and pulled with all of his weak man might. It did not budge. He scowled and put his hands on his hips,"So you're gonna play it like that huh? Well, I'll show YOU! Here comes the thunder! HIYAH!" He kicked the door high with his foot then tried to karate chop it, roundhouse kick, head butt, punch, belly bounce, threw several potions that exploded , several rats and a cheese wheel...
Nothing worked.
"It's no use! Troll's-breath!"
And it was like magic. He felt his body growing larger, stronger , harrier . And he was elated! "Hah! The potion wore off ! Your evil plans have failed! " He knocked the door down with a single mighty bugbear punch (FALCON PUNCH!) !

He burst into the room and saw the hags had HIS sorceress. "Stop what you're doing, you wicked witches! The lady is not on the menu and she's not getting married because she has WAY more important things to be doing that serve my er...quest! Yeah. "

"Ethel!" Addison hissed,  " I thought you said you bought a bugbear proof door!"

Ethel blushed, " What can I say? The coven gave me a discount? And besides, how was I supposed to know he was going to turn back?"

"Oh! YOU and your bloody bargains! Why can't you get anything RIGHT!?"

"Look who is talking! You're the dummy who ruined our sign! It's little wonder why we have so few customers these days!"

"Hmph! If I made a mistake, then why didn't you fix it!?"

"Why is it that every time YOU make a mistake, I have to clean it up!?"

"Because you're the eldest."

"WHAT!? That doesn't even make sense."

"What?"

"What I just said."

"What?"

"What?"

Urtok's sight shifted back and forth throughout the argument, but while the witches were preoccupied he edged over to towards the rock table and freed Averella of her bindings. "It's kind of sad that you let yourself get kidnapped by a couple old ladies. Just saying."

Ooc: Was not sure if you were going anywhere in particular with this SO I pause so you can stop him IF you wanted or something. xD Otherwise I'm just winging it. 

"Oh, thank you, Professor! I'd be lost if it weren't for you! They wanted to eat my bones!" she said, seeming not to hear his remark about it being sad she was caught, captured and bond by two old ladies in their cheese cellar. But then as she was stepping off the stone bed, the two witches spun around and nearly jumped two feet.

"The bug bear has our ancient one!"

"The one who bleeds of sand!"

"Do not let her get away!"

"Yes, after him we must!"

Averella's eyes went wide.
"I think that's our cue to run!" and she gave a tug on his arm and bolted from the door, just as Ethel cackled and pulled out a small vial from her sleeve.

"I've got a plan, Addison. The spare potion."

"You've got a spare potion?"

"Yes! But of course! Do you think I was born last century?"

"But of course not, we are not that young." The two old croons cackled.

"Yes, the potion to turn that wretched flea-infested menace back into a more mortal form. Though is this the potion of man, or the potion of mouse? Hrmm.."
As Ethel was trying to read the label, Addison gave a start.

"They're getting away! Throw the potion, Ethel! Do it now! Lest they fly the coop!"

Cawing like a crow, Ethel made haste after the pair, potion in hand, ready to throw the thing directly at the bugbear's stupid head, though when she did, Averella spun around with a gasp.
"LOOK OUT!"

"Of course you would, silly human girl. " Urtok declared proudly, "Everyone always is lost without ME." Could his head get any bigger? He pulled free the last of her restraints and wrinkled his nose, "I thought only ogres ate bones. Disgusting habit, if you ask me. " Which she hadn't , but he gave his opinion anyway!

"She's not yours, dummies. She's MINE! I found her first!" Urtok stuck his tongue out them, an immensely mature gesture.

The crones started to blabber on about unimportant things that hardly made sense to him. Urtok stuck a claw inside one of his large, pointy ears and picked a glob of earwax free and flicked it at Ethel.

When Averella told him to run and pulled his arm, he didn't budge. " Oh come on! What are they gonna do? They're a couple of old- TROLL'S BREATH!" He ducked , narrowly avoiding the potion that was thrown at his head. "WHAT the heck was THAT fo-"

He felt himself shrinking again. And then he was hairless and weak again. "OH OGRE's BALLS! " He was human again! Why!? Now he'd lost his confidence and ran after Averella. "Hey! Wait for me!"  Nakedly so.

Averella gripped onto her skirts, lifting them high above her boots as she bolted towards the door. But as she turned around and noticed the bugbear was no longer a bugbear but a naked human, she gasped and didn't watch where she was running- and smashed clean into the wall beside the door.

"Now they'll be ours!" the women cackled together, rushing after BOTH 'humans'.

"My hideousness is that distracting, huh? " Urtok frowned, watching the poor book sorceress smash right into the wall. "Er. By the way, you totally missed the door by like...a lot." He opened it for her, thankful that a human's shape was at least similar to that of a bugbear's. Then, he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her through the door.

Up the steps they ran with the witches cackling following their every step. But when Urtok turned his head to glance back over his shoulder to see if the creepy old hags were in hot pursuit, he saw no one there.
~
Though the witches had rushed to the stairs, they certainly didn't rush up them! Addison led the way, her knees creaking more loudly than the stairs did under her weight. Her ascent was slow, painful. "Remind me why didn't we have the coven install an elevator again? "

"Discount on stairs!" Ethel blushed.

"Ugh!"

~

Urtok through the store, searching for the exit door. Unfortunately, that had conveniently vanished. " Great! Those creepy old hags magicked the door away! How are we gonna get out now?" He proceeded to go over to one of the shelves and look through the potions for something that might make a door appear. In his clumsy haste, he knocked over a green vial which shattered when it hit the floor, the lime-colored liquid dousing a poor rat and turning it into a chicken. 

At the crashing of items, Averella found herself careful of what she touched, cringing before picking up a few bottles to more carefully push them aside than her bugbear companion was being. But being as this method was taking forever, and she heard the old hags getting closer and close, she began to get more hasty, and knocked over a vial herself, and a small centipede began to grow larger and larger.

Her eyes went wide, her mouth gaping open. She grabbed onto Urtok's arm and gave a tug.
"P..p...professor!" she stammered, the shadow of the beast now looming over them as it grew larger and larger, about ready to bust out of the place. "I think we.... should go back down stairs!"
and she let out a shriek, jumping in fear to get away from the wriggling, writhing long gangily (and HUGE) legs of the MONSTER sized centipede that now was smashing into shelf after shelf withint he room.

Potions began to fall at their feet, popping in broken glass bits as Averella gasped and danced over the puffs of smoke.
"P-professor!" she shouted, as one let loose a cage of poisonous, hissing snakes; all of which were quick to hiss and rise up, spreading out their hoods as they bared their teeth at the mummy girl.

Ooc: What is it with our threads and giant bugs? Seriously. IF you put one in the only sane thread we have...I will never forgive you.

Ic:

"Not now! I'm incredibly busy destroying potentially hazardous material thank you!" Urtok shook Averalla's touch off but she kept on nagging him so he spun around on her so suddenly, "What!?" He exclaimed in exasperation.
He noted the shadow looming over him and looked up...

And screamed. Like a man-girl. ( I imagine it to be something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPG4NVk_JEY)

He was prepared to agree about going back downstairs when he saw Addison reaching the top. She grinned wickedly at him and reached down into her robe for something, then pulled out a wand.

"Uh....I don't think going downstairs is an option! Why don't you cast a spell or something!? Surely, you must know something from all those books you were reading!"

He saw the snakes and grabbed one of the big cheese wheels on display which weighed a LOT more than he imagined a wheel of cheese really should. "Alright, I have an idea! " With all the puny strength he could summon in his tiny, naked man-body, he threw the cheese at the display window which shattered on impact.

"Let's get the hell outta here!" He grabbed Averella's hand and made a run for it!

Glass shards fell around them in sharp, tinkling rain. Thankfully, Averella wore many layers to her clothing and avoidedgetting cut as she clung to Urtok's hand and was pulled away.
"But I-I don't know any magic," she admitted through a frown. "Where should we go now?" she inquired, a worried pout set to her lips as they rushed along. Then she gasped, spotting some familiar guards at the end of the road. Gasping, she pointed them out.

"Professor, be careful! There are guards!"

Ooc: she's so good at stating the obvious XD
Also phone posts be short and special Bl

Ooc: np. Not feeling well enough to really care.

Ic:

Urtok winced and plucked a glass shard that was sticking out of his rear. "Yeowch!" He shook his head at her question, "Well, I don't know about YOU , but I don't think I wanna stay here and have my bones munched on or made into cheese. So anywhere that's far away from weird old rhyming hags that scam people with potions is fine by me..."

Then she pointed out the guards. The very same that were trying to kill him earlier.
They recognized Averella but not the naked man standing next to her.

"Good God, man!" One guard gasped and covered his eyes, "Put some clothes on!"

"Guh. Woman! RUN! NOW!" Urtok exclaimed and   pulled her along, climbing out.

They were moving towards the guards , but he thought being in library prison was much better than being groped and prodded by creepy old women for body parts. Gross!

"B-b-but, but.. Professor!" she called out as she was dragged along. "The guards.." and her eyes went large as she braced herself for the inevitable capture, but instead, the guards all got out of their way, shaking their head at the naked man and woman beside him before realizing...

"Hey wait.. wasn't that woman?" And then they were quickly pursuing the two down the road.

When Averella opened her eyes, she was surprised to see the road ahead of them was clear.
"Oh... they did not capture us?" But peering over her shoulder confirmed the opposite as she gasped and clung onto her skirts.
"Professor! We need to run faster! I think they're gaining on us!"
And ironically, the old hags were keeping up, just a few feet behind the group of armed guards as they ran all through the 'mean streets' of Uthlyn.

"They'll catch up to us if we don't watch ourselves, Professor!" Averella called out to him. "Do you have some sort of plan? Perhaps a diversion? Or do you own some sort of horse or carriage we could use to get ourselves out of here?"

Because despite there being guards and ugly old women, they still had the large bug to contend with who broke through the old hag's shop and was now terrorizing the people int he streets, which was enough to get the guards distraction to drop pursuit.

If the giant insect wasn't so terrifying, she could have kissed it.
"Look, professor!" she siad with a laugh. "They've give up chase!"
But as soon as the guards disappeared, she spotted the two old women and made a face. "Oh, scarab entrails! Those old women are back! And it appears as if they're still after us!"
What more could they do but run?

Urtok glanced back over his shoulder to see if what the book sorceress was saying was remotely true because, in all honesty, it sounded pretty ridiculous! Seeing the old hags not so far behind them he cried out over the sound of their rushing footsteps, "What!? They're old women and I'm awesome! How does that even work!?"

Now the guards we're falling the hags, creating a trouble train behind them. And very much to Urtok's horror, his awesomeness was losing steam and the pursuit was gaining. He pumped his skinny hairless man-legs as hard as he could. A pigeon flew overhead and crapped on him. "BLOODY BIRDS! " With his free hand he wiped it from his shoulder to the best of his ability. Gross! It smeared on his hairless baby-man skin.

"Plan? " Tok echoed, "What plan? Isn't it obvious that the plan is to get the hell away from those weirdos!?"

The more the vampire book-nerd sorcress went on, the more annoyed he got. Way to make him not feel as awesome as he really was, Averella. Way to go. "Hey! C'mon now! Who do I look like to you? Prince Charming? Carriages are for losers! Now move those legs faster, skinny!"

The guards broke the chase, distracted by the mini Godzilla-sized centipede.

Urtok gave a whoop, Wahoo!"

But the hags were still chasing him, "Ogre's sagging bal-"

And somehow all that running had brought them before the Library of Evil again. The fake librarian who tried to arrest them saw them and pointed. "YOU! Get back here and pay your library fee!"

"Hahahahaha! No way!" Urtok turned and ran in a different direction.

"You know, it would be a tremendous help if you could step out of your phony damsel in distress mode right now and do something awesome. " He told Averella.

Averella continued to stumble behind him, her heart thumping heavily inside her chest.
"What do you mean? I can't think of a single thing I might be able to do to help!" she called back, feeling horrid that she was so useless to him;a nd to this situation as she pouted. "But I think we're on the right path. Just keeping running!"

Though as they did, Averella was beginning to get dizzy from all of the running in zig-zags through the maze-like alley ways.
"We need to do something to throw them off our trail!"
And that's when they rounded the bend and she saw a pile of hay near a stable full of horses- One pile was even connected into a cart, and without hesitation, she yanked onto Urtok's hand and leaped into the hay stack- dragging with her the hairless, man-turned bug bear in tow.

Breathing heavily, she turned to face him.
"Are you alright?" she asked,t hen stilled suddenly at the sounds of the old hags approaching and held her breath and listened.

Urtok too held his breath and waited for the danger to pass before he spoke.

"Okay!?" He exclaimed in his higher-pitched baby-man voice. He slapped his hairless, smooth hands over his mouth . That was a little bit too loud, but fortunately his outburst didn't immediately alert the hags to their location.

"Okay!? Of course not!" He hissed at her more quietly at her, "Look at me! I'm short, ugly, I have no hair, no fangs, no awesome muscles. I'm a skinny, pink, hairless, weak, man-baby! And another thing, this hay is scratching my...bits! Let me tell you something, lady, it's not a very comfortable feeling either. No, it's not. There's also bird poo on my shoulder.So not awesome! "

Averella blinked at his outburst.
"That is something that is most curious. How did you manage to transform into a human, anyway?" she asked simply, eyes large in curiosity. She hadn't quite put two and two together that the potions from the old hags had done it; or, rather, at least in that moment, her mind was too much in a whirl for her to remember that fact!

"Obviously, those creepy old hags were jealous of my awesomeness and stole it from me! " Urtok half-whined. And then he had an afterthought, "Orrr it might have been a side-affect of one of those dozens of potions I helped myself to before we left their shop." He frowned at her, "Don't give me that look! I was hungry!"

He narrowed his eyes at her, "And what about you? Those hags keep calling you 'Ancient One' and wanna eat your bones and stuff. You told me you weren't a vampire! What's older than a vampire? A ghost? You're a little too solid to be one of those though."

Averella blinked and went quiet at his questioning.
"Well, you see it's a very complicated situation to explain," she began. "But really, now isn't the time to worry about that.." she said, her mind ina  frenzy. "How many of those potions did you eat!?" She said, sweating over the possibilities that could still be brewing within him, but then at the silence out side of the cart, she blinked and lifted her head.
"Do you hear that?" Still, it was silent. She smirked. "Come on, I think the coast is clear." And she peered out through the hay stack, only to gasp again as she clung onto Urtok.

Her eyes were wide in fright and fear,a nd most of the cart was enveloped in it's shadow, as the MASSIVE insect from earlier was standing just a few feet away from the cart, munching away on some guard. And a moment later, it's helmet clattered to the ground as Averella let out a scream.

It seemed the bug didn't take too kindly to the noise as it suddenly wriggled all of it's legs (from where it was perched up right from it's position on munching on the guard but a moment ago) before turning around and lunging it's body towards the hay stack and cart...
and the mule that it was attached too took one look behind it from where it had been lazily munching on some hay, and let out a bray and suddenly took off, hauling the cart bumpily behind it as it tore down the street.

"Well, you see it's a very complicated situation to explain," Averella began. "But really, now isn't the time to worry about that.."

Urtok shrugged, "Fine. If you're insecure about the lack of your awesomeness, who am I question it? I can't blame you, really. If I weren't a bugbear, I wouldn't want to talk about myself either."

When Averella asked him how many potions he'd eaten, he shrugged, "I don't know. Uh...nine? Eleven? I kinda lost count after the fifth one." For some reason, he didn't seem nearly as concerned about it as she was. "It's not like anything worse can possibly happen to me. I'm already human!"

"Do you hear that?"

Urtok strained his ear to listen, "Uh. No." He looked at her as though she'd gone mad.

"Come on, I think the coast is clear."

Of course, as luck would have it, she was wrong. The giant centipede had wandered their way and it might not have noticed the stupid girl hadn't screamed at the sight of it.

"Don't look this way. Don't look this way. "

The creature turned towards them and started to charge.

"Aw, ogre's sack! W-woah!"

The cart lurched forward and Urtok held onto the cart for dear life as it went careening away down the street.

Poor Lady Driscoll was crossing the street and was saved at the last minute by her quick-thinking (though not usually ) husband. He pushed her out of the street just in time, but knocked her wig off in the process. She screamed as her bald head was exposed and slapped the man for embarassing her!

The wayward wig went flying high and smacked Urtok in the face. He shook his head and it fell away free. " I have no idea how to stop this thing!" He shouted above the made clopping of hooves. "Wait. I think I saw a farmer do this one!" Slowly, he made his way to the front of the cart and climbed into the driver's seat. He seized the reigns and gave a sharp tug, "Woaaaah, boy! Woaaah!" The cart slowed and Urtok  puffed out his chest proudly, " Am  I awesome or what?"

Averella was clinging to his side, eyes wide with fright as she was breathing heavily. But her eyes weren't just wide from their possible Death By A Centipede.... but because right before them was the guards!

"Um.. professor?" she said, giving his arm a light shake. "You might want to get this mule started again..."
Lest the pair wish to be tossed into the bowels of a prison for the second time, today!

"Oh give me a break!" Urtok sighed at the sight of the approaching men in steel. He glanced back over his shoulder at the giant bug and then at Averella. "Uh...you might want to hold onto something. Really tight. Could get kinda ...er...well, you might fall off if you don't. "

He didn't wait for her to take the hint. If she wanted to live, she'd heed his advice quickly!

"Okay...so now how did the farmers get their horses to move?" He snapped up the reigns, "Move!" The donkey didn't budge. It stood there, staring forward stupidly. Urtok reached forward and smacked the silly beast on the hiney, "I said, MOVE!"

The donkey brayed and shot forward and barreled on towards the guards. They leaped out of the way just in time as the cart and the centipede rushed past.

"This is getting ridiculous! When will it stop chasing us!?" Urtok shouted , not really sure how much longer this chase could go on through Uthlyn. "I hope you've got some ideas, lady, because you'd think with as many books as you read that you'd be able to come up with some sort of plan instead of expecting me to think of everything! I know I'm smart , but geniuses like me get tired of thinking , you know!"

Averella didn't need to be told twice when she clung onto Urtok's arm as the cart lurched forward, and again,t hey were being chased by just about everyone in town. And by now, most of the hay was blowing away.

"Professor, I don't know what's causing the giant insect to make chase, but what if we were to change it back to it's normal size?" she suggested, noting the three old hag's cheese shop coming into view. "Just turn the cart that way!" she said, pointing over his shoulder. "And maybe we can use one of the potions too-" But then she gasped as she fell over, smashing into the side of the cart as it went THE OTHER way, and Averella had to cling onto her hair pins, lest they fall out.
"Pr-professor! I meant.. I meant.. the other way!"s he said, knuckles white as she clung to the edges of the cart and peered back in horror as the shop became smaller and smaller behind them in the road.

"Oh gee, I dunno. Maybe it's thinking to itself...'Mmmm mmm! Look at those tasty , weak, hairless ,and ugly little humans! I think I'll eat those two! It's not like anyone will miss them because one of them didn't pay her library fee!' " 

He shook his head when she told him to turn the cart around , "Are you nuts!? Go back there!? And how will we even know what potion to use!? What? You think those things are conveniently labeled, 'Insect shrinking potion' , do you? Or maybe we should just grab a whole bunch and throw them at the beast and hope one of them will blow it up or something!"

He sighed and turned the cart back around anyway, "If we die for this, I'm haunting you FOREVER!"

He brought the cart to a stop before the hag's shop and hopped out of the cart, "Come on! It's right behind us! Clock's ticking!" He ran inside without waiting for her.

"Return to us , we knew you would!" Ethel crowed.

" Hand over the girl and we'll give you something good!" Addison held up a potion that was labeled 'Bug-zapper' for him to see.

"Stop doing that!" Urtok growled and then glanced back over his shoulder, "Yeah well, we could all just sit here and wait for the bug to come and kill us. I mean, I'm not gonna be a dummy and make a trade with you guys again and get screwed again. I'm much too awesome to fall for that. "

More panicked than her usual humbled state, Averella did the unthinkable, and suddenly lunged forward to snatch the vial from Addison's fingers, and the moment the bug came their way, the three witches all crowed; and down the vial smashed at the insects feet, and a poof of red smoke blew up intot heir faces...
and a moment later, the bug was nothing more than a huge, charred mess.

Coughing, Averella waved her hand to wave away the smoke, her hair, now half ruined and strewn about her head in unruly curls, bobbed about as Averella looked from the charred body of the massive centipede, to Urtok.

"Well, that takes care of that-"

"And this takes care of this!" Ethel hissed, as she lunged forward and grabbed Averella by her wrist, slapping on some golden bracelet inlayed with a skull and two black jewels for eyes.
"Now you are ours."

"And this bracelet.." Addison cooed, "Will ensure you never leave this city, again!"
And the three sisters cackled together with glee.

"Get your hands offa my book sorceress or else I'll-" Urtok looked around desperately for some kind of weapon to use against the hags. He grabbed a small vial of purple liquid potion and held it up for them to see.

The witches gasped in unison.

"NO! "

"You wouldn't!"

"Ethel! I told you not to put THAT out in the open!"

Ethel appeared as if she'd suddenly been slapped, " Why are you blaming me!? It's Betty's fault!"

The new witch, Betty , whom was the youngest but ugliest of the three protested, " I only just arrived here after a two year absence! Don't you try to pin this mistake on me!"

Urtok coughed, "Ahem . Excuse me..."

"Why not? You've always been the one to not put things back in their rightful places." Ethel accused.

"That's kind of true," Addison nodded in agreement.

"And you're the one who usually makes me put things away and doesn't bother telling me where you want it! I just grouped it together with all the other potions of that nature." Betty snapped.

"Also true, "Addison agreed.

"Uh...hello? Guy with the scary potion here."

"Shut up and pick a side, Addison!" Ethel snarled.

"LADIES!" Urtok shouted and the witches turned to look at him, " Yeah. So I'm about to throw this potion at your ugly faces. I suggest you let go of my friend or I'm gonna use this and according to this bottle...it only works on witches so..." He started to throw it.

The witches screamed and pleaded with him not to do it. They were already ugly. They didn't wish to be any uglier!

While the witches were all in a panic, Averella cringed as she turned to the witch holding her hostage-
"Sorry about this.." before she stepped on her foot.
The witch let out a howl and Averella clung onto her skirts and made a run for it.
"Come on, Professor! Let's get out of here!"

"Haha! Nice one!" Urtok cheered and then moved to follow after her hastily though not before tossing the potion back over his shoulder. A chorus of "Noooooooooooo!" 's followed behind them.

As they were leaving the shop, they encountered the guards or - well, at least what was left of them. "There they are, men! Get them!"

Urtok hopped into the cart. Surprisingly, the mule was still waiting for them. He gestured for Averella to speed things up, " Hurry up , while we're young!"

"Is that.. "she panted. "Supposed to be some sort of a joke?" Averella said as she leaped into the back of the thing. "Professor, you must realize, I'm over three thousand years old!"
And then once the guards were gaining on the, she gasped and turned back around. "So.. where's those things to get this cart started. The reins, now was it? Come on, give them a snap and let's go!"

Since it wasn't in Urtok's nature to admit that he didn't know something, the bugbear-turned-man nodded, " Of course it was, " and at her exclamation of her age he shrugged his shoulders. After about the count of ten, he lost track.

Urtok narrowed his eyes at the woman when she told him what to do. "Woah, lady! Back off! No one tells ME what to do! I'm a bugbear!" And then , quite hastily he jerked the reins, "Giddyap!" He exclaimed the magic (in his mind) word that farmer Smith back in Languish always used to say to get his horses moving.

The donkey brayed and bolted forward, leaving their pursuers far behind.  "You know, "Urtok shouted to the woman over his shoulder, " I have a feeling that after this mess, we're not gonna be very welcome in Uthlyn anymore!"

When it came to stating the incredibly obvious, Averella was not the only one gifted. 

At such a revelation, Averella's face became crestfallen. She grew quiet, the rumbling of.the cart and the chaos of the chase lost upon her. Pressing her lips together, she looked down at her gloved arms where it always seemed to itch and make her paranoid... For the itching meant decomposition, and she wasn't quite prepared to turn back into a lifeless, rotten old mummy just yet.

But without being able to return to this city.... How would she ever find more books in her endless search for a cure?

Urtok was quiet for awhile, focusing on driving that cart (something he was still not quite used to ) and listening to the sound of the hasty clip-clopping of hooves when a thought occurred to him, "Although,I guess we could get back in there if we had awesomely clever disguises. I'm not a spy or anything, but I'm pretty good with disguises. " He boasted.

When she didn't respond, he glanced back over his shoulder, "What's wrong? "

Sighing dejectedly, Averella lifted her gaze, and instead of lamenting, she was struck with fear at the sight before them, for one of the old witches was riding a broom!
"Proffessor, watch out!" And the girl ducked just in time to avoid the old hag.as she soared over head.

Ooc: witches on flying broom sticks! Why not?  "C'est Halloween!"

((Pffft. They're witches! OFC they must have broomsticks!))

"Gah!" Urtok gasped and ...failed to duck in time. The broom-riding hag knocked into his puny human body (which really was puny by his standards but not so much a human's) and sent him flying off the cart and down face first on the dirt road. Right into a puddle of mud.

The witch, Addison, cackled as she continued on, flying circles around the man. "In the mud your face is planted,"

Another witch on a broom zoomed by overhead with a gleeful cackle, " Your painful death shall soon be granted! EHEHEHEHEHE!" She brought her broom around so that she hovered over the cart and then produced a wand, " Say your prayers, foul beast!"

"Ethel, rhyming on a broom you have ceased! You can't do that , to say the least !"

Ethel paused and looked back over her shoulder at her sister,"Oops..."

There was a bubble-like 'pop' sound and the image of Ethel seemed to blow up like a balloon and was simply gone. The broom was still there but below it there sat a black cat. "Mew."

Urtok lifted his head from the mud puddle and wiped the muck from his nose and eyes, "And I thought Languish was weird." 

With the 'professor' taken out, Averella gasped as she panicked, fumbling to grab a hold of the side of the cart as it kept on rolling, heading straight for a stone wall! Gasping, Averella snatched up the reins and gave the fiercest pull she could, and just in time she was able to hault the wagon from smashing to bits.


With large eyes, she stared in disbelief for a good long while as she caught her panicked breath before sitting up suddenly to turn and observe the witcheshoovering near Urtok. Scrambling to get out of.the cart, her boot got caught on the reins and Averella spun around, losing her balance before catching herself on the side of the cart. After steadying herself, she frantically worked to get the reins off her boot.

Ooc: posts on cell phones are hard ;o;

"Wait. Why are you guys trying to kill me?" Urtok complained, "I'm not the one who owes like thousands of gold to the library!"

Addison slipped her own gnarled wand from her robes and pointed it at the bugbear and crowed , " Abra Kadabra, blippity blue! Turn this creature into goo!"

A  flash of bright green energy snaked forth from her wand and , wisely, Urtok rolled out of the way. The spell hit the Ethel cat and left a pile of green slime.

Urtok looked over at what used to be Ethel and frowned, "Sucks to be her."

Addison hissed at her mismark and turned to Urtok and pointed her wand directly at his face.
"YOU!" she began, hefting onto her skirts as she stormed his way, black heels clicking against the cobblestone. "You are the one we're after for now! You seek to protect the ancient one where she is obviously ours. Once you are out of the way, we'll claim our girl and be rid of you for good!"

Averella gasped once she saw the display, her lips remaining hanging open at the horror that was displayed, and as Addison was lifting up her wand and beginning to mutter another spell to turn the bug bear into something quite dead, Averella lifted up a near by clay jar and smashed it over the back of her head. Addison's eyes went cross and forward she landed , directly onto her face and went still.

Averella's eyes were wide at what she had done as she dropped her gloved hands with a gasp.
"I'm so sorry about that!" she said, trying to apologize to the poor unconscious witch as she drew the ends of her gloved fingers to her lips, as if she were about to chew on the tips of them due to all of the nerves shaking her body.

Urtok's eyes bugged out and he stumbled back and away from the angry hag, "Now just a moment here. You're the ones who tried to trick me to begin with! You weren't gonna give me two potions. You were trying to make me into rat stew and steal the book sorceress from me! And I need her because I'm too lazy- er I mean busy saving the world to chronicle my own awesome adventures. So, you're the bad one!" He pointed an accusing finger at her. "You should be ashamed and let me go because you need to seriously rethink your not so awesome life. "

He shrunk back when Addison lifted the wand and pointed it at him again, " No! I'm too young to be reduced to a puddle of puke!"

Crash! Something shattered over Addison's cranium and the witch crumpled to the cobbles in a heap. Urtok relaxed when he saw Averella standing there with a broken clay pot in her hands. He gasped, "Oh that was ....AWESOME! " Clearly, he was impressed which was rare for someone like him. The bugbear turned man clapped his hands together, "I'll hold her up and you do it again! "

Averella stared back at.Urtok and blinked.
"You can't.be.serious! Besides," she said, dropping her.arms. "I think it would be prudent for us to.run!" They still had the town guard after them, after all!
"And need I remind you, professor, that we need to find you.some clothes!"
And as if it.were.on cue, she noticed a tailor shop. Grabbing onto Urtok's hand, she gave a pull.
"Look, professor! It's perfect! A tailor's!  Come on!" And she dragged him inside the tailor shop, and as she.began to explain the situation to the tailor, he gave both of.them a once over before doing a double take on Urtok before fainting.

"Ummm..." Averella began to say as she drew a.gloved hand to her lips. "That wasn't expected." And she turned to Urtok. "Now what?"

Urtok stared right back at her, " Well, yeah. Of course I am! What? You don't think it would be awesome?"

Oh. She mentioned the town guards now. Right. Urtok's expression shifted to a grimace, "We need a distraction- woah!" She grabbed him and pulled along to a tailor's, "What do we need to go there for?"

Inside, Urtok waved at the man and ....he feinted. Urtok looked about as bewildered as Averella did. He shrugged, "I dunno. I guess the sight of me was too -" He only now realized why they had come to this place. "Wait ...you want me to wear clothes? Pffft. Clothes are for humans..." He laughed and then walked by a full body mirror and saw himself. He stumbled back and screamed like a girl, " Why am I still that hideous thing!?" He pointed at his reflection .

Averella, who had to keep her gloved hands mostly hiding her eyes (mostly, so she could still walk, and she was a lady, after all, so it was most unbecoming of her if she did not try to hide her eyes away), peered out through a crack between her fingers as she frowned.

"Yes, you are still a human, Professor," she reminded him glumly, and her eyes went a little south before she snapped her fingers closed. "And at least while you are looking human, you ought to hide the indecencies." If he knew what she meant! "It's hardly proper for a man or lady human to go without clothes!" She should know! She was such a human herself! (if even a slightly more dead version at times). And as if to remind her of her plight, her arm grew a bit itchy. Decomposing was really a rash sometimes!

"Indecency? " He frowned and whirled around to face her, staring at her curiously as she hid her eyes, "I know what that means." He really didn't, but he was too awesome to admit it. " I don't get it. Why ? I never wore clothes before and no one had a problem, but then again. I was much better looking as a bugbear. This hairless pinkish white skin is so ...." He poked his chest and grabbed at his hair which was quite thick for a human, "And what is this? It's like it's not even trying to grow hair!" He sighed, "You're right. I look horrible and it needs to be covered so no one has to suffer. Including me. Hm...but what should I wear? "

He walked over to a mannequin that was about Averella's size and inspected a dress that looked quite audacious. Pink  , poofy and with so many ruffles and that it looked like it could choke a man, "This? Hm...people actually wear that? "

Averella kept peeking through her fingers, and when he approached a dress, she gasped and stumbled over towards it.
"Y-yes, but those are girl's clothes," she said, lowering her hands and placing them ontop of his so he wouldn't consider trying it on. (Who knew, he might!) and she looked up at him with a pout and gestured towards a rack behind them.
"See those suits? Things like that are more gentlemanly," she stated, before looking back at him with wide eyes. And then her eyes looked down again and she snapped them away, pressing her lips together. He was quite an impressive man, considering he wasn't really a man, but really! how unlady like of her to keep looking at his impressive muscles and hair! The very thought made her cheeks heat pink.

"Let us get you into something more appropriate," she said, and took him by the arm and lead him towards the men's clothing section.

OOC: loool

"Girl's...right, right. I knew that. " He coughed and tried to force his most 'honest' look but only made himself look all the more idiotic. "So, you wear that stuff? Huh..." He walked around the mannequin , "Looks kinda. I dunno. Inconvenient. I mean if you had to run away from angry librarians in this..." He laughed and then cleared his throat.

He stared at her hand on top of his. Woah lady. Like WOAH. Was she trying to seduce him or something? Well, he was pretty awesome so he really couldn't blame people for being so attracted to him. He would be attracted to himself to if...

He turned his gaze back over his shoulder towards the suits that she was gesturing to. "They don't look very...heroic. I don't see any swords or armor. If I'm on a quest, I have to look the part right or I'm not very credible. "

Urtok hugged himself when she looked at him, "Gah! Don't look at it! " He whined like a little kid who still had not gotten past his insecurities. 

His attention went back to the men's clothing. There was quite a selection and he'd never worn clothes before. He picked up a pair of trousers and tried to pull it over his head, "How does this even ...work? I can't see!" He gasped, his face stuck halfway down one of the pant legs.

Averella's face went completely red at his statement.
"I-" but her lips only moved after that, no words able to spill out. Then fluttering her lashes, her eyes refocused, her mind came back and suddenly her hands were closing over her lips as she fought back a laugh.

"P-Professor!" she said, her form beginning to shake. "That.. that's... those are pants!" She said, unable to hold back another giggle as she moved swiftly to his side and helped him by tugging the pants off his head. She held them up and cleared her throat.
"These.." she said, tugging them open.. "Go on your legs.." she said.. looking down, but not TOO far down, before she looked awy and held out the pants to him to try again.

"And I'm afraid," she added, with a sigh. "This is not the sort of place that sells armor..."

Urtok held the pants upright and then held them nearer to his waist, comparing the shape. "Hah! So they are. I also knew that. I just was...making sure you knew. It was a test to make sure those hags hadn't scrambled your brains. It seems your memory is still working well." He steppe into the pants one leg at a time and buttoned them then let go of the waist.

"There we -"

The waist was a little too big and the pants fell to floor.

"...don't go. Too big. Need something tighter. But I'm not gonna wear something that makes my butt look huge, okay? " He found a pair of white trousers and managed to pull them on. "How do humans wear these anyway? My bits are all...itching like crazy. This material is scratching my....and crushing woah..." He fit into the pants but they were a little too tight. He modeled for her, hobbling like he had a stick right up his...

"How is this now?"

Averella was trying her best to keep up with him, suggesting a pair of pants here or there, and trying to remind him just how he ought to wear them. But once he got the last pair of pants on with no problems in tow, she found herself almost going cross eyed as she stared at him.. and stared and stared.

"Y-you you.. um... um.. need a.. a shirt.." she said, backing away as she stuttered over her words. But when her hands failed to plant on something to give her weight, she suddenly leaned into nothing when she thought there ws something, and with a scream, she fell over into a pile of her own skirts upon the floor.

"Oh man, you mean there's MORE!? We're never getting out of here, are we?" Urtok was on the verge of freaking out here, but all he had to do is remind himself that in order to be awesome, you couldn't lose your cool. He clapped his hands together, "Shirt. Got it. " He narrowed his eyes and put on a serious game face.

He started scanning for potential shirts to match the gray trousers he'd selected when he noticed her giving him weird looks and suddenly forgetting how to walk. "Uh...." Normally, Urtok hardly paid much attention to these things because humans were weird and almost impossible for him to try to even understand but she was his book sorceress, he thought, and he should probably make sure that the witches really had not scrambled her brains.

When she collapsed sitting atop a pile of skirts, he nodded, "Well, I guess if you need to take a breather while I figure this out here. "  He turned his attention back to the shirt hunt and finally found something he thought might have been acceptable , "How about his bad boy?" He held up a blue vest with mock silver buttons and a long-sleeved white shirt beneath it. " It's the color of a frozen troll sac. Well, the top shirt thing is kinda  anyway."

What an attractive description!

"Um.." Averella said, simply staring and not sure what to say to that. "I'm sure it'll look very nice. Just put it on, we haven't got much time. Don't forget the guards are after us!"

"Okay, okay. " He pulled the shirt over his his head and struggled with the buttons, missing one and making the rest of the job crooked. He pulled the vest over that and buttoned it even worse than the shirt. "There. Done." He said proudly, admiring himself . Damn did he make human clothes look awesome!

He still didn't like being stuck in a puny , hairless man -baby body though!

"Um.." Averella blinked at his patch work, horribly uneven attempt at buttoning up his clothes. She drew her gloved hands to her lips before moving forward and pointing out, "I think you've missed a few spots with the button. In fact, you might want to try that again.." She said, clearing her throat and then gesturing towards a mannequin that displayed the 'correct' way his shirt ought to look. "See how the buttons align here? Your shirt should do the same."

Urtok looked down at his crooked button job and then at the mannequin. He looked back to himself and then at the mannequin again. "Really? Looks the same to me." He shrugged and unbuttoned the shirt and tried it again.

The second try was even worse than the first. "Why are these things so complicated? Why does it even matter anyway? It's on, isn't it? "

"Oh dear.." Averella said. Realizing he would need some help, she stepped forward.
"Here, hold still. I believe I should be able to fix that for you."
Though even she almost messed it up, had to rebutton the first try, before finally getting it properly closed.
"There!" she said, smiling triumphantly, her eyes shining. "Nice and neat and ready for us to.." and there she paused to realized, as she released a soft, smiling sigh ad scratched nervously at the back o fher head. "You're all ready for us to run from the guards more appropriately now."
And what an awkward phrase that was!
But then she paused to realize with a gasp.. "Oh! You're feet!" as she pointed down at his poor, bare toes. They were probably freezing!

"It's fine," Urtok protested but he stood still and let her rebutton his shirt for him. He looked down at her work and then lifted his eyes to look at her with a look in his eyes that seemed to say , "Oh."  Now he realized what she meant and he opened his mouth to say something, closed it, opened it again, closed it again and then shook his head and blushed sheepishly because he couldn't find the words to argue against her. She was right and made him look like a fool. "Er. Thanks."

Then she mentioned the guards and Urtok frowned, "But running away isn't heroic. It's cowardly. I need -"

She distracted him with another exclamation. He looked down at his feet and wiggled his toes. "Aside from not having claws or a lot of hair, what's wrong with them?" He looked over at her, looking confused.

Blinking, she peered up at Urtok.
"But you could get sick! Or you could step on something that could cut them!" She furrowed her brow and tapped a finger to her lip as she thought.
"No, we'll have to see what we can do about that. But I'm not familiar with this city. I don't know where we ought to look to find a shoe maker..."
And just as she was thinking it over, her eyes fell upon the passed out tailor's feet.

Oh! She shouldn't be thinking about it! But hse was...
and she was curious if the tailor's size was anywhere close to Urtok's..
But no! How unlady like that would be! So she snapped her mouth shut and simply sighed.

"Yes.. we ought to find a shoe maker's shop." And then she opened her coin purse and began to fish around for some money to leave here for Urtok's clothes. Once she found enough coin, she bent over the tailor's fallen form and placed a few coins ontop of his chest.

"There." She adjusted her hair that had fallen into her face and released a breath. "That ought to pay for your clothes." And she glanced over at him. "But we should go quickly if we want to be discrete about getting you some boots." Lest she remind him again about the guards.

He stared at her, looking unsure. He really knew nothing about being human , "Really?" But when he considered it, he supposed that her claims made sense . Humans were pretty hairless and weak. AND ugly.

He rubbed his goatee-clad chin thoughtfully, "A shoemaker? Shoes...ohhhh. Right. I need shoes. Boots. Gotcha." He nodded and then looked over at the unconscious tailor. "Think I could take his?" He went over to the poor man and tugged one boot off the tailor's foot. He tried putting the shoe on but ," Nope. Too small." He  set the boot down next to the tailor and then wrinkled his nose at Averella when he saw her dropping coins on the man.

"If you had coins, why the heck didn't you pay your library fee?" He studied her coinpurse with a frown. Admittedly, it did look a little too puny to hold much in it. He shrugged at her though. Man, was she weird!

"So...where do we find a shoemaker?" He inquired as the left the tailor. He looked around and then pointed at a sign shaped like a shoe across the street. "Hey, what about that place?" 

Averella stared stupidly up at the giant shoe of a sign before her gaping lips curled up into a smile.
"That's it, Professor!" she said, snatching onto his arm. "Come on! Before we get spotted!" And she yanked the bug-bear turned human all the way down alley and into the shop, the bell ringing as the door open and closed behind them. Glancing around, it didn't appear as if anybody was home as Averella stepped forward towards the desk to clear her throat.

"H... hello?"

And a moment later, a man with a rat-shaped, mop of a head of hair sprung up, glasses half hanging from his large nose, and large brown eyes peering up at the pair of them with mild interest.
"May I help you?"

Averella let out a gasp, and suddenly found herself clinging onto Urtok. Her chest was beating heavily within her chest, as her chest heaved with exaggerated gasps.
"We.. um.. er.." she began to say, and the 'shoe-keep' looked down. He spotted Averella's tiny boots, and then.. Urtok's bare feet.

"Hrmm.." he said, adjusting his spectacles as he stepped around from behind the desk.

"We.. he.. erm, needs a pair of shoes!" Averella finally choked out as the man approached, and he, being a tall thing, blinked and looked up at her and informed her, "Well, I can see that." An then he gestured for Urtok to sit in a leather chair.

"Here, let us get you some measurements to see what can be done."

And becuase her brains were scattered, she nodded her head rigidly and took a seat in the chair.

The shoemaker just stared at her, clearing his throat and peering over at Urtok before he sighed and pointed to a bench beside her. After all, it appeared as if Averella was clinging to that leather chair for dear life. If her gloves were not worn, one could see her knuckles turning white!

Urtok watched Averella curiously. Even HE could tell that something wasn't right. He shrugged and walked over to the bench and sat down beside the woman-vampire-book sorceress. "Uh..." He wasn't quite sure how to bring it up since he didn't want her thinking he was one of those types of worriysome weaklings. He wanted to be all awesome and heroic like in the stories! Still, he frowned as his eyes noted how tightly she was gripping her seat, "Are you okay?"

He shrugged his shoulders, " I dunno. You kinda look like you've seen a ghost or something."

The shoemaker brought his measuring tools and proceeded to calculate the size of the bugbear's feet. "Ansgar! I can't say that I've ever made shoes quite this large. I hope you have enough coin to cover for the cost. "

Urtok blushed, "Uh...well, I don't really have any money. "

The shoemaker pointed to the door, "Then there's the door. Use it."

Urtok crossed his arms, "Well, of course I'm going to use the door. Have to use it to leave, you know." 

It was then Averella jumped up in her chair.
"I have a spot of coin!" she said, picking up her coin purse which, her hands fumbled over as it fell out from her clutches, and landed onthe floor, coins spilling everywhere.

Urtok looked at her and frowned,shaking his head he stood up and went to pick up the coins. Humans were so weird. Or maybe it was just Averella. Nah. They were all pretty weird. As he picked them up, he tried counting them but ended up losing track. Counting was hard and not awesome, you know!

He handed the coins to Averella when he was done, "Yeah. I guess you really didn't have enough to give to the librarian. "He looked over his shoulder at the shoemaker, "So , how many of these things you want for shoes? "

The shoemaker flashed him a number with his fingers and it was easy for Utok to count that low. He tossed the coins to the man who disappeared behind the counter and went to work.

Urtok turned back to the distressed woman, " You're acting kinda ...strange . Are you hungry or something?"

Averella peered up at Urtok with her large eyes. Fear still clung to them,a nd she closed her gaping lips once she realized she was gaping and turned away, tucking some hair back away from her face as she did so.

"It's just that..." she began to say, and her voice lowered once she was certain they were out of ear shot of the shoemaker. "I've never been chased by the city guards before." And really, she hadn't mean to do what she was accused of! Was there no salvation for an 'accident'? And the more she thought over it, the more she wrung her hands.

"Pfffff! Hahahahaha!" Urtok threw back his head and laughed for a good ten seconds and then looked down at her, grinning, "You're kidding me, right? That's what's eating you? " He waved a hand at her dismissively, "That's nothing. I get chased by guards all the time and half the time I didn't even do anything to make them mad."

It took a minute for him to realize that saying that might have made him sound like a bad guy and he was much too awesome for that! He shook his head, " I mean, you know. Bugbear. " He shrugged and stroked his little man goatee, " So you didn't pay your library fee .Big deal. It's not the end of the world and you're not gonna get caught so nothing to worry about. "

((He's an expert at consoling people!))   

Averella stared at the bug-bear and was not in the least bit comforted. Shifting her weight from where she sat, she sighed and leaned back into the chair, peering over curiously at the shoemaker from across the way.
"I wonder how long this is going to take.."
And more importantly, what sort of action ought they to take, next?

Urtok shrugged, "I dunno.  Are we in a hurry? " If Averella had known better, she would have realized that he was asking her a serious question. Judging by her actions up to this point , she probably thought he had a bad sense of humor.

"A few hours if you want something decent." The shoemaker replied.

"What are we going to do until then? "Urtok rubbed his growling stomach, " Come to think of it, I am kinda hungry."

Averella thought over what he said carefully.
"I'd say we could venture into the market, but that might be too dangerous."
And after she promptly declined the idea she proposed, her own stomach gave a sudden growl.

Hearing her stomach protest, Urtok stared down at it and then looked back up at the human and smirked, "You sure you don't want to go? I'm not so sure that I think your friend there agrees with you." He grinned at her.

Then his stomach growled and he laughed, "I guess that makes two of us. " He stood up from his seat and turned to her, "Come on, we'll just go get a bite to eat and come back . It won't take long. It'll be fine!"

((sure it will >> ))

Gasping, Averella hopped to her feet and clung onto his arm.
"Oh, but you can't be serious!" And when the shoemaker turned to look at the pair skeptically, Averella cleared her throat and lowered her face and leaned in closer to Urtok, "What I mean to say is.."s he said, tucking back some of her hair. "Is we'd.. we'd have to be.. careful." And with that, she sighed and gave him a pouty look.
Really, how else would they ever get around town now!?
Though... as her stomach growled again, she knew they had little choice on the matter. It seemed their stomach's were made up!

Urtok scratched the patch of hair on his chin that hardly qualified as a beard, " Okay, well, do you want me to go alone then? Totally not bringing you anything if you don't go though."

He had a thought then , "Uh...should we be talking in front of this guy ? He's kind of an eyewitness. He might tell someone. "

The shoemaker was still listening but simply shook his head, writing Urtok off as a simpleton.

((So nice. lol))

Averella pouted and frowned and whimpered and wrung her hands over this as she looked from Urtok, then to the shoemaker, and then back to him.

"Fine, but we ought to be quick!" she said, then moved towards the door, but not before gasping and turning back around to pick up her coin purse. The'yd need money for food, after all!

((Sorry for the delay. I just didn't want to write yet another market scene since we're doing something similar in Little Bits and Pieces. LOL))

"Don't worry. We'll be back before you know it. " Urtok assured her as they headed out the door. The walk to the market without shoes was probably not the most pleasant of experiences. Though the street cobbles were surprisingly smooth , there were sharp bits of glass from broken bottles , nails and other things on the ground that made poor Urtok gasp and wince every few steps. "Ow! Gah! Oh! Graw! Yeowch! " The bugbear-turned man protested , "Human feet are so not awesome!"

They arrived at the market which had now calmed considerably. Urtok could smell food everywhere but he looked a little unsure of which stall he should approach. "So how do we do this? You're the human expert here." 

"Well," she began thoughtfully. "We simply approach a vendor of our choice, then once we've made a selection, we pay for what we'd like and well.. enjoy." And at the idea, her nose wrinkled a little before she looked down to her coin purse. "Though I am getting low on funds, we'll have to be a bit frugal with our choices. Hrm.." and she glanced around trying to consider just where to start. There was hanging whole-'fried' chickens, soups of all kinds, and breads in all colors. And all of it smelled divine.
"Oh, dear, I'm afraid I'm not sure if I could make a choice. I see some curry over there, and some red-bean soup, but the bread smells heavenly."

Urtok stared at her and wrinkled his nose with confusion , "You mean you have to ask people for stuff and pay them?" Well, she had to pay for his shoes too. He laughed, "Why not just beat them up and take their stuff? " He pointed to an elderly man selling fish and other edible aquatic life: clams, crabs, lobster. "He looks like an easy target. I'll hold him and then you punch!" He smashed his fist into the palm of his hand and chuckled. Yes, he thought that was a pretty awesome idea. "And then we take what we need."

"Erm..." Lady Averella's face fell at his idea as she timidly placed a hand upon his shoulder. "I'm afraid it doesn't work that way here, Urtok. Besides, harming another person isn't very nice." And she gave him a patronizing look.

Urtok's expression was one of disappointment and bewilderment. Where he came from, that's what people- er monsters did. He scratched his little man goatee, still frowning. "Nice? Who cares about being nice so long as you get what you want?" Urtok really didn't think there was any problem with this. "But you're saying that humans don't approve of that kind of behavior? Fascinating.  Well, "he crossed his arms over his chest, "fine. Then show me how it's supposed to work, Mrs. Smarty-Pants ."

Averella gave Urtok a trying smile.
"It really is.not so dificult," she tried to.explain with a sigh and smile as she shook her head.."You simply ask politely and pay. See? It's simple." And she demonstrated by smoothing back her dark hair and approaching the baker.
"Excuse me, but might I inquire of the price of this bread?" And as the fat baker woman explained the prices, Averella most politely smiled along. Nodding here or there before presenting the baker with the correct coin. As she purchased a hefty loaf of.bread. once it was secured, she approached Urtok, beaming.

"See? It's not a.very difficult concept at.all!" She told him smilingly as she offered him the loaf of bread. "Care for some honey-wheat bread? It smells divine and I bet tastes just as heavenly."

Urtok watched her and wrinkled his nose. That seemed like an awful lot of work for just getting a loaf of bread. It didn't seem very awesomely exciting either. He shook his head at her , "You're SO weird. " He accepted the bread and proceeded stuffing his face with it and only when he'd devoured about three quarters of it did he even think to share it.

Sharing was one of those human concepts he remembered learning back in Languish. He thought it was pretty stupid, but some humans were very offended by a lack of sharing. "Oh. Uh...did you want some of this too?" He held out the mostly eaten loaf to her.

Averella was taken back by his manners, and at his offer as well as she shook her head at the half slobbered half eatenloaf of bread.
"If you are so hungry, go ahead and finish the loaf yourself. I can purchase another."

He stared at her for a moment and then shrugged. Oh well! More for him! He stuffed the remainder of the loaf into his greedy gullet. However, when he was finished he burped and patted his stomach which growled its dissatisfaction. Urtok turned to her with a sheepish grin on his face, " So, how many more loaves can you afford ?"

At his 'healthy' appetite and belch, Averella found herself making a face before peering down into her money pouch with a bit of a frown.
"Well, quite a lot if we want to empty my purse, but I'm afraid only one or two more loaves will have to suffice if we don't want to find ourselves without pennies." And at that, she judged him once over with a gaze, curious to know if he was really, truly that hungry. But then again, he might have 'looked' like a human, but a human he surely was not!

Urtok's expression wilted at her mention of being low on funds to appease his ever-hungry stomach, "So, how do you get more money? Maybe we should find some quests. I'd recommend saving some noble's daughter. Nobles are usually loaded with gold.  Or we could go fight a dragon and take his treasure!" He scratched his chin thoughtfully, "Or we could become thieves and steal what we needed."

"Er, that's not quite how I make money," Averella began, blinking and uncertain quite how to deal with explaining this to Urtok. "You see, because I am quite familiar with antiquities due to my age, I tend to find a lot of rare items that I can sell. Usually that money lasts me for a while but it seems our unfortunate circumstance has brought me nearer towards the end of my money pouch. Though, I'm not sure what sort of things we can sell.. I'd have to go through my inventory first or we'd have to find a place that we could explore to see if I couldn't find some interesting things to sell."
And the more she thought it over and tapped her lip, the more she realized, "So I suppose, one could say, it is sort of like a quest, though much less dangerous than needing to find terrifying dragons to slay."

And as she poked her nose into her money pouch to count what was left, she sighed and appeared crestfallen at the results.
"We can buy about two more loaves, but then we ought to ration the rest. I'd hate to run out of money and be stranded."

Especially in such a prudent country as Connlaoth! To think, they are afraid of magics here! Thankfully, no one could guess the poor girl was a cursed girl, though the familiar itch of her decomposition began to tickle the back of her throat, but for now,s he tried to ignore it. Maybe she was just getting a cold?

Urtok stared at her like she was crazy for a few moment. Wasn't the first time he'd done so and certainly wasn't the last time either. He shook his head and frowned, "Rare items? How do you know when something is rare? " He waved a hand dismissively, " No money is a real problem. We don't want to be poor. Being poor is for losers. " He held up a hand , "Wait here and watch how it's done, book sorceress."

And then , puffed up with confidence the bugbear turned man marched over to a fruit vendor and announced, " I am a hero whom has come to this town in search of a quest. Humble ....merchant guy, surrender your much needed errands to me and I shall happily do them for a modest fee." The fruit vendor stared at him as though he'd completely lost his mind and then laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

Urtok folded his arms across his chest and scowled at the humored vendor, " I really don't see what's so funny! "

Averella cupped a hand over her lips to witness such a feat.
"Oh dear."
Approaching her 'friend', she hooked her arm around his and tried to guide him away from the poor fruit vendor as she explained to the man, "I'm dreadfully sorry for my friend. You see he was hoping to find a way to gain money by odd jobs. There's no harm in it, though I'm sure even someone like you might be able to see the good use you could have for such a sturdy man. Or even one of your friends?"
She might as well try to humor them and try to get this awkward situation to perhaps benefit them. Or you know, end up having the fruit vendor just laugh some more.
"I'm sure he or I could offer a multitude of useful services," and at that idea, she gave a confident grin. Who knew! Perhaps making money this way wouldn't be so bad! THen she wouldn't have to dig for more antiquities or sell any of her own!

The fruit vendor looked over his shoulder at Urtok, his bushy grey brows furrowing. "I don't know, " he said slowly , his frown deepening, " the lad seems a bit touched in the head. Does he - or either of you have any particular set of skills? "

"Hey! What are you guys talking about over there!?" Urtok looked their way , a look of suspicion on his face.

"Well, my friend here has great strength, so any laborious activities you should find yourself needing a strong pair of legs and good back, I'm sure he would be more than happy to oblige!" She said, enthusiastically. Though myself, as you can see, I am far more petite, though I have a wealth of knowledge, so should you  need your taxes reviewed or handled, or even your library straightened up, I might be your girl!" And she smiled, finding herself having a lot of fun trying to sell the services of herself and her companion, though to be honest, she had no idea what such things might truly entail

"Well, alright, " the merchant sighed, "I've been needing some help with collecting a fee from a client of mine. I suppose if you and your companion are capable of persuading the man to honor his debt then I could could pay you a quarter of what he owes me. If you think that might be something to your-"

"We'll do it!" Urtok volunteered them without knowing the details, but he was confident that they (well, he anyway) could do anything. "So, where is this guy? I'll kick his ass!" He punched his fist into his hand and grinned.

The merchant looked nervous, "No, no. You misunderstand. I don't want to resort to violence. I just ...want you to convince him to pay me. "

Urtok looked disappointed , "What kind of quest is that?"

"Oh! How splendid!" Averella exclaimed, seeming not to hear her companion's woes. "We'd be delighted to help. THough um.." she nervously tucked back some of her hair as she inquired, "Just where ought we to begin? I mean.. what sort of debt does he owe, who is he and where do you think we could find such a person?"


The merchant hesitated before clearing his throat.
"Templeton Thurston. And er.. you can normally find him at the library. But he's a shrewd man. He takes care of the library fines there."
And Averella's mouth dropped at what he revealed.

"The.. the.... the librarian?"

The merchant sighed "Well, one of them. Stingy bastards."

Urtok laughed, "The library!? Are you serious?" He nearly fell over , shaking with laughter. But then he saw Averella's expression and sobered. "So, I take it this is kind of not a good thing? What kinda money are we talking about here?"

"He borrowed eleven gold from me, "the merchant explained, "with the promised that he would pay it back with interest in about a year's time. Two years have come and gone with him promising me he'll pay soon and...well, he doesn't. I've been looking for people to help persuade him to pay since he's not afraid of me." 

Urtok whistled, "That's a lot. But isn't that the same guy who wanted to throw is in library prison? "

The merchant stared at the bugbear as though he were absolutely mad, "The what?" 

"What my friend means to say is.. we're not exactly on a friendly basis with the librarian," she said regretfully.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean to say is, that we might not be able to help you out."

"Unless," Urtok interjected, "we wear a clever disguise. Oh...we could disguise ourselves as pirates or city guards. We could go undercover and spy on him to find out where he hides his treasure and then seize it! HAH!"

The merchant sunk down in defeat, " Pity. I guess I'll ask someone else then."

"No!" Urtok declared, " A quest is set before us and we cannot turn from it! Don't worry little man. We'll get your money back for you or we are not awesome!"

"Pirates? Stealing? Urtok, I don't think that's a wise idea.." she began to protest, but the tall, bugbear-turned-man didn't seem to be listening. "Though a disguise might work.."s he thought, but honestly! This just wasn't a good idea!

Urtok frowned at Averella , "You don't like my idea? What's wrong with it?" He folded his arms over his chest. Sighing heavily, he supposed he'd ask for her opinion even if he had a feeling that it wasn't going to be very awesome,  " Okay. Fine. What would you have us do then?" 

"Well, I don't know,"s he began thoughtfully as she shrugged. "Perhaps we can find a way to hide our faces? Or um, deliver the man a letter. Yes! That's it!" And her eyes sparkled excitedly. "We could send him a letter! That would make this all a lot easier and then we can give him a deadline and tell him to bring the funds right here. Now... let's see.. to find a place that's got some paper and ink.."

Urtok scoffed, "Lame!"  He shook his head, "A letter? Seriously? You think a letter is going to make him honor his agreement any more than asking him or threatening bodily injury to his person? Hah! Besides, writing is for losers. " Of course, he was only saying these things because he couldn't read or write , but of course he couldn't! He was a bugbear and he was much too awesome for that!

However, he was somewhat curious to know if her methods would actually work. " Okay, so you're going to write him a letter. How is it going to be delivered then? Or should I ask WHO is going to deliver that letter? "

Averella frowned when he brought up a few good points.
"Well, I'm not sure. Though if someone gave me a letter I know I'd try to honor it." Blinkingly, she thought over a solution when he mentioned someone actually had to DELIVER it and she thought it over before going 'Ah ha!" and turned to the vendor. "Why, I'm sure He could supply us with a solution for this."

And the vendor only stared at the pair as if they were joking.

"Never mind, I retract this offer! You two couldn't get the librarian to pay his fees if you tried. Nobody can!" and sulkily, he went back to his wares.

"Oh dear.. I wonder what we could have said that upset him?"

Urtok wrinkled his nose at the woman and shrugged, "I dunno. I think his quest is kind of lame anyways. It's got no blood or fighting dragons or evil guys with big swords and dark armor or damsels or sweet treasure."

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Although, I think I know a way to make him pay. Why don't I deliver the letter? He won't recognize me. "Of course not because before then he'd been a bugbear. " I can be pretty persuasive. Just let me try one time. I'm sure I can make him see the light.  " And by persuasive , he meant to kick the phony librarian's ....*ahem* .

Averella stared at the man as if he had gone mad before her mouth fell open into a wide smile.
"But of course! That's brilliant, Urtok, simply brilliant! When he had met you before, you were stilla  beast!" And with eyes still dazzling, she hooked arms with him. "That means we can even forgo the letter and you simply approach him in a personable manner and request the money." Smiling, she turned back to the vendor. "We should have no problems with this now!"

And the vendor now stared at the pair of them as if they were crazy. And he wasn't too far off the mark, too!

The vendor looked uncertain but he was eager to be rid of these two lunatics as soon as possible. Maybe he'd just pack up and flee to somewhere they could not find them while they went on their mad little quest. Yes, yes. He liked this plan very much! Decision made, he cleared his throat and nodded with a forced and pleasant smile on his face, " I agree. Well, you better get going before the library closes, you two. He's not easy to find after closing time. I wish you both the best of luck and I should be here when you get back." Hahahahaha....not likely!

Quite pleased with his plan and even more pleased that both Averella and the vendor seemed to agree with it , Urtok felt his ego soar. "Alright! Time to go pay this Templeton a visit!"

And then he turned to Averella, "So, uh...where's the library again?"

The vendor smacked a hand over his face and sighed.

Averella gave a delicate point int he right direction.
"Just over there." And shaking her head, she smiled at the vendor and waved goodbye as the pair began their journey, and as they did, she contemplated this plan of action out loud.

"So this, Templeton Thurston, of the library. I hope he's not the same man we encountered. Perhaps there is more than one librarian..." Though she doubted it. "But now remember, once we get to the library, I can not go in with you. He would recognize me right away and then we'd end up in library prison." If there was such a thing!

Still shoeless, Urtok walked beside her, wincing once when he stepped on a small piece of glass. " More than one librarian? Is that even allowed? " He stopped suddenly in his tracks and lifted his smarting foot , "Ow." With a grimace, he plucked the small glass shard free of the sole and shook his head at her next comment, " No problem. I'll find him and persuade him to pay with fancy words and if that doesn't work, I'll beat the stuffing out of him." He grinned.

Averella gasped and took him by the arm.
"Here, take a seat. You've hurt your foot. See? This is why I said we needed to get you some shoe. Well, come on then. Perhaps the shoemaker might be finished with them? We might as well check it out. Come on." ANd before he'd have a chance to listen to her first command of 'sit' she was already taking him by the wrist and guiding him towards the shoe shop.

"Where am I going to-?" Urtok looked around and spied a barrel that looked like it might hold his weight. Might. With a sigh, he moved over to it and took a seat upon it as instructed. He shrugged his shoulders , "Nah. It doesn't hurt that- OWOWOWOWOW! Look! Don't touch it!" He whined pathetically as Averella moved to inspect his small but painful injury. "I'm fine I- " But all of his protests were to go ignored as she snatched his wrist and dragged him along.

The little bell above the door rang once as the door opened and once more as it closed. The old shoemaker looked up from putting the finishing touches on Urtok's new boots behind the counter, "Ah, there you are. I was wondering where you two had run off to! Your timing couldn't have been better. Now, just give me a moment here and I'll fetch some laces. "

Behind them the door opened and the bell rang twice.

"Templeton, sir! Your shoes will be ready in a moment after I'm finished with these customers here."

"Take your time. " The man whom had entered behind Urtok and Averella replied.The newcomer who stepped in was, of all people, the phony librarian from earlier. "Pardon me-" The man started to say as he squeezed past Urtok to move further into the room, but when his eyes fell on Averella he gasped and pointed at her furiously with his eyes narrowed in accusation, "YOU! "

Urtok looked at him and then Averella, "Uh...do you guys know each other?"

Ignoring the bugbear turned man, Templeton Thurston went on irately, "This is all YOUR fault! No thanks to you and that...hairy thing ,I'm out of a job!"

"Ouch. That sucks. I guess you're gonna have to look for a new job then, right? "

Templeton whirled around to face Urtok, seething, "And just WHO are you?"

"Uh...well, I'm totally not with her. I'm just some guy here to  buy shoes! "

"...then why are you holding hands?"

Urtok made a ridiculous face, "Pfffft. What? We're not holding hands."

They both looked down; Templeton pointed, "Yes you are."

Urtok reclaimed his hand hastily and turned on Averella, "How dare you try to hold my hand without my permission!"

(( I'm sorry...lol))

Well, this was awkward! Averella made a face at the scene before her got worse and worse (though thankfully she knew enough to put two and two together that Urtok forgot who Templeton was, and that TEmpleton hadn't known Urtok had transformed.)

"Urtok..." she said, placing a hand gently upon his shoulder as she whispered into his ear. "This is him. The man with the fines... and also the man who wanted to throw us in jail at the library..."
She just hoped that explaining this to him would make the bug-bear human more tactful in his phrases before she turned around to the angered former librarian witha  form as he jabbed a finger towards her face.

"Stay right here. I'm going to call the guards on you!"

Urtok wrinkled his nose as Averella whispered in his ear. His eyes widened at the realization that this was their phony librarian and their quest objective at the same time! He gasped, "Ohhhhh."

And then Templeton was talking about having Averella arrested. Urtok wasn't going to complain at first except, well, she was his book sorceress and he still needed her for a quest he'd mostly forgotten about until now!

"Wait!" He snatched Templeton by the arm, "Actually, um...we were looking for you! " Before Templeton could protest, Urtok shoved the letter Averella had written into his hand , "Read that. It's important. "

Templeton gave an incredulous glare before tearing the crumpled letter from ontop of his chest and glanced down at it.
"What!? Marcus wants his money? And he sent you to deliver it? I just lost my job!" and he angrily crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it onto the ground. "He will get no payment and you- " he jammed a finger at Averella again. "Will pay severely for my losses!" and he turned after yanking his hand from Urtok's grip, and proceeded to storm out of the place.

Averella lifted a hand delicately to her lips. "Oh dear.."

Urtok looked at Averella and shrugged, "I told you that we should just beat him up and rob him but you wanted to write a letter. "

"Here are your boots, sir." The shoemaker announced and brought Urtok's new pair of boots to him.

"My feet aren't that big."Urtok protested. However, when he put them on..."Huh. I guess they are that big."

"So it's a fit then?"

Urtok nodded and then looked at Averella, " So, what now? If we hurry, we might be able to catch him and beat the crap out of him before he tattles on us ." 

Averella kept a hand to her lips and nodded at Urtok's suggestion, not even seeming to realize the shoe exchanged had even happened.
"Yes, we ought to hurry after him. Though I'm beginning to wonder if we would not have better luck looking elsewhere for a job." And she frowned deeply as she stepped outside of the door, and as luck would have it, Templeton was no where in sight.

Averella wilted.
"Seems he's already thrown us off his trail."

"THERE THEY ARE, GUARDS! SEIZE THEM!"
Whirling around, Averella's eyes went large as two humongous guards came lumbering their way.


"Oh.. oh dear.. It hink it's best that we... run!" and she gave a tug to Urtok's arm as she took off down the street.

Urtok groaned the moment she seized his arm and pulled him along. While he could have resisted her, there was a small part of him that was still convinced that she was a vampire and would suck his brains from his nostrils if he didn't go along with what she said," Not again. More running? Seriously, you know, " Urtok panted as he ran beside Averella, "this would have been so much easier if you'd just taken my suggestion!" Or, he thought, if she had just been a good citizen and paid her library fee! "Being human is so not awesome! " He whined and rubbed his stomach, " And SOOOO I'm hungry! If I don't get something to eat soon, I'm going to die!" He wailed dramatically.

And it was truly a miracle that they managed to lose the guards after what seemed like hours of running (actually, it was more like five, maybe ten minutes tops but counting is for losers as far as Urtok is concerned!) . Urtok leaned his back against an alley wall, panting heavily and sweating like a pig. "I think ....we...should...abandon...this ...quest. It's...not...worth...it. " He took a few moments to catch his breath and then turned to her and inquired, "So, do you wanna become pirates now?"   

Averella was panting right along side him. Though she wasn't sweating like a pig. Glancing over at him,s he simply blinked at his request.
"Pirates?" What was he going on about now? She shook her head. "I agree. Let's not worry about helping that man. We're already in enough trouble as it is with the library, I'd hate to anger those men even more."
And she paused to remember, with an even deeper, poutier pout, that she would not be able to return to do more research.

Urtok studied her pouting expression and usually he didn't really care to ask such things but for whatever reason (maybe he was that bored?) he asked, "Er. What's with that look? You kind of look like you just ate something that tastes gross. Like carrots."

Blinkingly, she peered over at Urtok, her eyes almost doe like in the moment before she shook her head.
"I'm just saddened. I had really hoped to get some research done while here in Uthlyn. The library here had some really extensive knowledge on the history I've been looking into.. but seems I've lost my chance there."

And another grimace spread across her features, but for an entirely different reason, and for a moment, the woman had to hold onto a nearby building for support lest she collapse.
Oh no...
Peering down at one gloved hand- she could feel it. Was it coming on early? This was hard to know but it was definitely the same sensation she had before.

Painful, tingly, her insides lightly spasming as her organs were beginning to die. She cupped a hand over her lips. Oh by the Gods! Was it truly time for her to die again?

It was never any fun to turn back into a mummy, and an itch to her leg confirmed, as she gasped and felt some skin fall away beneath her skirts.  Yes.. yes it was time. And she couldn't fight it. She never could, and she cupped a hand over her mouth to hide her expression.

"I... I need to sit down."

Or more importantly, she'd have to get to her coffin, quick!

"Research? " His face scrunched up with disgust, but he shook his head. Smarty types couldn't help themselves and their gross ways had their uses anyway. Like reading for him so he didn't have to bother to learn. He had far more important things to be doing, you know!

He looked around for a place to sit, saw a lonely crate across the way and pulled it over to her. "Take a load off." He gestured to it and then crossed his arms, "So, what kind of stuff were you trying to figure out?"

" You know,there are always other places with books. Book shops, or even other libraries. Uthlyn isn't the only place where you can learn something."  Although to be able to get into the library would be...convenient.

Averella took the offered seat and wilted through a sigh.
"Oh, it's not that. I know there are other libraries. I've been to countless ones of them- book stores too, of all kinds. But I've always had trouble doing research here." She sighed and cast her gaze down towards the ground. "I just don't know what to do anymore. This research is very important."

Though in all honesty, it seemed as far away as a dream. She had always been chasing a cure for her curse. It was almost as if she ought to give up. It had been over 2000 years, after all...

Urtok frowned, " So, you're certain what you need is in that library? " He had no idea how they would manage to get on Templeton's good side in order to help Averella gain access again. "Maybe we can ....try talking to Templeton? Somehow. " Thought the man claimed to have lost his job . "Maybe if we helped him get his job back, he could find a way to uh...erase your debt?"

Averella lifted her eyes to Urtok and blinked curiously at him.
"Oh, but such an idea- who knows how to accomplish such a feat." She shook her head and wilted some more. "Surely not I. I do not think the library would even welcome me back and well.." she sighed again, shaking her head. "Oh... I just wish I knew of any other method in accomplishing my research.."
Though in all honesty, the fact she had been doing this for 2000 years would deter most...

Giving a scratch to her arm, she winced as she began to realize...
"We.. we should probably get out of the streets. I.. I do not feel well."
It was half a lie- but half truth- for right now she felt her very insides beginning to rot-
and the skin of her right arm!

Urtok shrugged, " Well, I don't know. Maybe there's some kind of really valuable book we could find for them that'd make up for the damage you've done? " He scratched his chin thoughtfully, "Although it's pretty hard to believe any book would be that expensive."

He gave her such a puzzled and bemused look when she confessed to feeling ill, "What's the matter? Afraid you're gonna puke or something?" He shook his head, "It's totally fine with it. I had a troll sneeze on me once and I'm telling you, it's probably way more disgusting than anything that comes out of your pretty little mouth.   " He wrinkled his nose. Had he just used the word "pretty" in reference to a human? Oh damn. He'd been in this human body too long then!

With a sigh he offered her his hand, "Okay. Fine, but I have no idea where to go.  I mean, everywhere we go , we just seem to get into even more trouble than before. We're like magnets for it! "

"Yes.. magnets.." she said, feeling woozy as she clutched onto her belly. "But just going anywhere.. anywhere would be fine."

She knew the spell wouldn't last long, but if she kept herself more delicately tended to as she began to decompose, then the results were more.. refined and delicate themselves (if one could call turning into a mummified corpse, 'delicate'). She draped a hand across her face, her vision becoming temporarily blurred when suddenly she stepped into a beam supporting a shop keeps tent,and with a cry of alarm, the pole fell and collapsed the shop-a nd the wares, all in one garbled, jingling CRASH!

The crash was enough to jerk her back into reality, only enough time that she became faint and began to fall towards the ground.

He let her fall. Just stood there and watched her and as the poor mummy woman lie there face down in the cobbles, Urtok shook his head . "She's probably had too much sunlight. Totally a vampire."

Urtok watched it all and when the angry merchant came to him, demanding to know who had knocked down his tent, the bugbear turned man shrugged and simply said, " Probably fairies. They're always ruining lives."

"You think you're funny , do you mister funny man!?" The merchant raged.

"What? I was serious."

"Fairies..."The angered merchant muttered viciously under his breath as he walked away to clean up the mess.

Urtok returned his attention to Averella now  He nudged her prone figure with the toe of his new boot, "Wake up!"

Averella lay there unmoving, even after his boot gave her a tap. But moment later, her eyes came fluttering open as she groaned. She still felt weak as she shivered no the ground, and found herself trembling, in spite of herself before peering up at Urtok. This spell was definitely coming on far too early.

"Help... help me to my feet, Urtok. My legs.. they feel so weak."

Frowning , the bugbear turned man crouched down in front of her and helped her into an upright sitting position. He frowned,  "Vampires . So high maintenance. "  He poked her nose with a finger, "Just so we're clear on this, just because we're friendly it doesn't mean that I am gonna let you suck my blood. "

Still dizzy, Averella peered up at the man curiously.
"Suck... your blood?" She gave a curious blink, still not certain what he meant or where that came from, despite the fact he had just mentioned her being a vampire. But her mummification spell was just too over bearing, and those little details he spoke, she just hadnt' the energy to follow it through.

"No! Gross! Are you deaf or something ? I said you can't do that!"

But then he noticed that she kept looking more feeble by the moment.  With a sigh he reached grabbed one of her arms and helped pull her up to stand on her feet.

"You look like a troll ate you and shit you out. Is there something I could do to help?" But she totally owed him for helping or else the effort was pointless. .

Averella still felt dizzy, this spell lasting longer than most
"I... I just need to.. to sit down somewhere. Perhaps in the shade?"

OOC: lol totally does not make her sound less like a vampire 8D

That statement only made Urtok fully convinced that she was a vampire. In denial. The younger vampires tended to be overly emotional and unable to accept the fact that they weren't mortal anymore. Urtok imagined he'd never be that way if a vampire bit him. He would be excited. Who wouldn't want to live forever and get a sweet castle and have super powers and every piss themselves at the sight of your awesomeness?

But he did like eating garlic....

Nah. Being a vampire would suck. Pun intended. Ho ho ho!

Urtok stepped closer , positioning himself over her so that his puny human man-baby form cast an unimpressive shadow over her. " There's your shade. "He was patting himself on the back over how incredibly smart and generous he was.

(ooc: I forgot how amusing this thread was. xD Totally not a vampire.)