Either he really did wear his emotions on his sleeveâ€"he'd been told before that he did; he never was good at hiding what he feltâ€"or Mina was simply amazingly in tuned to him and all his quirks, just as he liked to think he was in tuned to her. Whatever the case, Mina read him expertly, an amazing feat with his emotions fluctuating wildly, but the meat of it was easy enough to see: he was relieved when she finally came back to him...he hadn't wanted to be alone, not yet, and there had been some repressed anxiety gnawing away at him all the while she was gone.
It was stupid...Mina would be fine, and it was safe here, too. But the stress was still there, coiled up in a tight, controlled knot, throbbing still beneath the surface like a dull ache that wouldn't let up even as he tried to ignore it. Everything was still there, still achingly fresh...but as long as he kept his mind occupied, kept distracted, kept his mind on the here and now and took it a step a a time, he could put off facing those memories just a little longer.
Just a little longer...until the night came and his mind was left unguarded. Or until the next trigger brought it all crashing back down on him. He knew he'd have to confront the reality of what had happened eventually, but he just wasn't ready...confronting an opponent was one thing, but grappling with an enemy that preyed upon his very spirit, where wounds cut deeper than flesh...he just wanted to deny anything had ever happened and leave it at that. Gods, but he didn't think he could even tell Mina about...about everything, about...he'd...he'd held out, hadn't he? He hadn't given anything away had he? Shit, he couldn't remember what he'd said, all he could remember was...no, he had to stop thinking. They'd get Vai back before...before anything happened and end it, and then everything would be fine again. Vai...Gods...and Mina...no! Don't think about it. Just don't think about it.
One step at a time.
Nakaris drew a deep breath and, slowly, offered a tired smile. It was a small one, just the slightest curving of lips, but it was his first in, truly, a long time. Even if it was tinged with loss, it was genuine and...and grateful, grateful on so many levels, and that sense of gratitude, and of fulfillment even in the face of great pain, could only grow.
He watched in amazement as, when he took the offered breeches thankfully and begin to change, she moved without his saying anything to block him from view. He wouldn't have said a word either, for what little remained of his broken pride demanded that he hide his discomfort, that he was acting stupidly, that none of this was a big deal at all and he shouldn't care, especially not when there was worse brewing; what had happened to him shouldn't matter, for he bore no real injuries...he was just being weak...it was nothing...absolutely nothing. But no matter what his pride demanded of him, Mina understood him, and she thought no less of him for it. She understood...and that little gesture seemed to speak volumes to him.
And quite despite himself, he found himself dressing a bit slower than he might have normally. That he was still exhausted and felt ill might be one reason, or that it was just hard to pull cloth over wet skin, but, truly, he didn't mind her watching, and he watched her about as much as she did him. Whereas before he had felt awkward, even nervous and vulnerable in nothing but his skin so soon after everything, with Mina just as bare as he, it was easy to forget. It wasn't quite a sexual feeling, just a feeling of...calm, and warmth, that they were there together, finally after so long, with no boundaries between them. That everything would turn out all right, even now when things seemed so dark that he could no longer see the way, if there even had been a path to follow to begin with. He couldn't quite explain it, but he wouldn't need to.
"I love you, too..." he returned softly, meeting her eyes and bringing one hand tentatively, but gently, to the side of her face. The sight of so many new scars etched into her body and that bloody jewel embedded within her pained him, because he knew all too well what they signified, but he said not a word about them. There would be a time for talk and conquering inner demons later, though, and just as he was far from ready to face his own, he didn't want to tread on sensitive ground with her.
His own body was decorated with scars that were usually hidden beneath his clothes, old cuts and gashes from old fights and wars, and some that were self inflicted. There were no scars from the tortures applied to him, though, for he had been healed between each session. He had no evidence for what he'd endured, but...none of that mattered.
All he wanted now was to just be with her. Scars, pain, and all, there wasn't a woman he loved more, a woman any more beautiful than the one before him now.
Unfortunately he was still very much in pain and weak from blood loss, and they were also not alone. Fortunately, though, the man was a doctor, even though Nakaris couldn't help but feel wary of him...
But, that was just how he was...it was difficult to trust anymore. Though there was at least one person he trusted enough to lay his very life in her hands.
With Mina's back still blocking them from the man's sight, he allowed himself to be bold, to lean forward and press his lips lightly against hers with his fingers still softly brushing her face. It was a gentle kiss, light and chaste but no less affectionate for it, and his lips did linger a little after. Everything was going to be okay...they were together now, and everything was going to turn out fine. They'd get Vai back...they' all be together again...
As long as he had that, he knew he could pull though. They could pull through...