Kisa stretched out her arms and rustled her hair in the grass, perfectly at ease on the ground; growing up on a poor farmyard estate had its perks, after all. The stars were so round and bright she felt as though she could pluck them from the sky just by reaching out her hand, as if they were the overripe fruits from some great dark tree. The steady rain beyond the greenhouse offered a pleasing lullaby, and it was a lush, lazy smile she turned to Cyrus with, matching her shining eyes perfectly. The whole evening slowed to this one moment in time: Kisa, spread out across the ground with her hair tumbling over her bare shoulders, looking up at a man she fearfully found herself falling in love with. She wished he would come closer -- wished she could pull him down to her level, pull him against herself, in fact, and satisfy this strangely vibrant burning in her body, and -- Kisa shook her head, terrified at these unbidden thoughts running through her mind, and laid a trembling hand over her heart. It was pounding.
If he were farther away, maybe Kisa could have withstood the feelings gushing through her body, but Cyrus was too close, dangerously close, and she could see all too well that his feelings mirrored hers exactly. Overcome by sudden brashness, she leaned forward to breathe her next words closer to his neck: "Oh, to hell with chivalry, Cyrus," she murmured, eyes wide with shock at what she just said but also sparkling with the wicked knowledge that she knew exactly what she was doing. "We don't need chivalry right--"
Kisa's breath caught and her eyes closed in scarcely-concealed desire as his fingers finally brushed her skin, trailing down her flushing cheek towards her chin, and she could only wish they would continue the progression downwards -- but instead, a thousand times better, she felt the sweet touch of his mouth on hers. A soft moan escaped her throat as finally all the powerful emotions that had been building throughout the night were given physical form. There was only a moment's hesitation, when Kisa wondered what her mother would think should she see her, but then undeniable need flooded her body and she pressed herself tightly against Cyrus, moulding her limbs to his, surrendering herself to him, with as much enthusiasm as he did her. Only her second kiss in a lifetime, Kisa did not have the time to think whether she was doing it right -- there was no time to think at all, but only to revel in this sensation and hope it lasted forever.
It did not. With a gasp, as if coming up for air after a long time spent underwater, Kisa realized in a flash what was happening -- what would happen, if she did not stop her foolishness immediately. She jerked away from his body as if stung, and although every ounce of feeling in her cried out for her to return to Cyrus's arms she kept rigidly away. "I -- I understand," she choked out, her voice throbbing with tears and desire. "It is not men's place to resist temptation. The fault is mine and I -- oh, Cyrus," she cried, "I adore you just as much, but I know not what--" Her voice broke into sobs and, leaping to her feet, Kisa threw the pillow down towards Cyrus and ran blindly into the rain. What am I doing? What is going on? How has everything become so complicated? "I am so sorry!" she cried over her shoulder. So, so sorry. She knew he must think her a harlot.
Burning with shame and blinded by tears, Kisa ran into the pouring rain and as soon as Cyrus was out of sight collapsed into the mud, wracked by sobs. "Oh, Fates, what have I done," she moaned, her hair limp and hanging in wet, dripping curls around her face, her gown ruined and clinging to her body. "What have I done!" How could she, a graceless slut, love a man of such impeccable honour that he would find more willpower to resist than she? "I've ruined everything..." Unable to think of anything else, she did not care that she was slouched in plain sight of the manor, where, when the ball ended, if she still remained she would be seen by every noble of importance in Serendipity. And Kisa did not think she would ever leave here.
I deserve this mud and rain, she thought savagely. After everything you've been taught -- and you did that? He could never love her. Not after what just happened.