Brother Edwidge

[frog]

content warnings include: religious forced child adoption; self-harm

__________________QUICK STATS
Name Brother Edwidge
Age 32
Gender Cis male (... maybe? He has never had the chance to experiment or think deeply about it; he would balk at the idea of letting himself even try)
Species Human
Ethnicity Connlaothian
Height 5'7"
Occupation Brother of the church
Residence A monastery in [province to come]

__________________IN-DEPTH STUFF

Physical Description

• Sandy-colored hair, styled in a bowl cut
  
• Doesn't quite wear a full beard, but instead keeps it to trim stubble
  
• Light green eyes
  
• Broad shouldered, big-armed, and soft-bellied; strong, but not particularly muscular, given his life has been spent in service to the church's needs, rather than at a trade or in the military
  
• Light-skinned, will tan after he burns; freckled face
  
• Typically wears the modest robes of a brother of Ansgar's church

(image SFW, spoiler'd for size)

Spoiler

[close]

picrew by meimrr

Personality

• He is Tired™
  
• Specifically, he is tired of living in a war zone, tired of doubting his faith, tired of being viewed warily, and tired of feeling frayed all around the edges. Ed feels that he is on the precipice of a major personal crisis, and as a result, he has been more tense, terse, and sharp-tongued than usual.
  
• Generally, Ed has done everything he does in life in accordance with Ansgar's faith. He believes in free speech; he believes in hating sin, but loving sinners who repent. He has a great deal of sympathy for people who, like him, struggle to resist temptations inherent to their nature. He has often tried to be there as a mentor and guiding voice for other mages within the church.
  
• He has always felt a need to prove himself, especially as a mage in Connlaoth, and this has often lead him to making almost obsequious choices. (Which he has, occasionally, regretted—in an effort to be seen as equal and accepted, he was very willing, in his youth, to act beneath his dignity.)
  
• Ed has always been self-deprecating and self-loathing, evidenced by his sense of humor and bitter offhand comments over the years. Others may say he is too hard on himself; he believes that he is not hard enough.
  
• Keywords: mixed feelings; internal conflicts; crises of faith; reaching for goodness and falling short; closing your eyes to realizations you're not ready to have
  
• Tarot reading: Eight of swords; Judgment; The Hanged Man; Eight of cups

Magic/Abilities

• Edwidge is the son of a mage, and turned out to be a mage himself. His inherent elemental magic revolves around water.
  
• As a brother of the church, Ed will swear up and down that he has not used his magic since childhood, at a time when he was too young to fully comprehend the gravity of how awful it was. Since his teenage years, at least, he has not called upon his power, despite constant temptation to indulge. (It would be fun to plot out whether this is true; perhaps there have been small indulgences on very crucial occasions?)
  
• Regardless, Ed fully believes that his magic is something ungodly. He sees the existence of magic within him, and his desire to use it, as a hurdle he will spend the rest of his life overcoming. This contributes at least partially to self-deprecating, self-loathing bitterness. He has wished, on more than one occasion, that his mother had been more devout than to break the law to have him. Ed often feels as though his piety is an attempt to make amends not only for his own existence, but for the transgressions of his parents. However, he also sees his struggle as something sacred, and—though not a great soldier—sees the victories in his own private war as blessings from Ansgar. 
  
• Content warning: self harm.
  Spoiler

  When Ed struggles against using his magic, he burns himself. He does this as a reminder that magic is a force that can only cause pain.

  [close]

Relationships

• I will list specific ones
  
• when he has them
  
• until then:
  
• Members of the church; Connlaothians; mages; civil war characters
  
• His bio family?

History

• Content warning: religious forced child adoption.
  Spoiler

  As an infant, Ed was taken from his mage parents by the Connlaothian church. When he developed magic, he was not returned to his family, but instead kept. (I am leaving it open to plotting as to whether any of his family might be around, or perhaps searching for him.)

  [close]
• As he grew up, Ed struggled to control his magic. His early childhood was a sequence of mistakes, repentance, and forgiveness—and, likely, a great deal of disappointment from the religious adults around him, whose approval he strove to attain.
  
• When the civil war in Connlaoth started, Ed was already an adult and quite set in his belief that using magic was heresy. It is likely, in these years, that he cooperated with the church. However, as the years have passed, he has begun to question the foundation around which he has built his life. Whether he remains in favor of the status quo or begins to sympathize with rebellion is yet to be seen.
  
• (While Ed can't participate in major events that have already happened, I'd love to fill out his history with civil war things that would have affected him directly.)

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