Long Fall Short Stop. (Devious)

[Anonymous]

Sleeping in a high tree in the woods seemed like such a good idea at the time, so high animals couldn't get to you, and you could enjoy a nice smooth slightly chilled breeze at higher altitudes. Nothing to disturb his slumber, and for once one of his ideas didn't backfire. Of course, that was the illusion of assumption for something was about to awake Ira.

A small brown furry creature strolled its way onto the branch it's small black eyes took in the strange furless beast laying on his territory, blocking it's entry into it's stash of nuts gathered through the forest. Now, to say the least this squirrel was very pissed. How dare this fur less animal take it's food for itself? Just climb up, and take all the food it worked for! The squirrel's tail spiked up in the air as it's hind legs sprung from the tree bark it's agile body landing square in the center of Ira's face.

At first Ira just felt something warm on his face, which by itself would of freaked him out, but he was still half-asleep. What fully got his attention was the squirrel digging it's claws into his face quite rapidly tearing at his face. Ira quickly stood waving his arms as he shouted in a muffled voice, "AHHHHHH! GET OFF OF ME! WHATEVER YOU ARE!"

His feet stumbled over one another as the squirrel relinquished it's claws from Ira's scratched cheeks, and it just kind of stared at him for a moment, before turning tail into a knot-hole in the tree. Ira laughed as he looked at the squirrel, "TAKE THAT YOU BUSHY-TAILED RAT!"

Then he noticed the branch was over there, and he wasn't on it, a quick glance down, before gravity took effect his body barreling down from the sky. He was screaming at this point as he fell, "LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

There was a loud crackling sound of leaves, and broken twigs as his body landed imprinted firmly on a posion ivy bush, then into the dirt. Anybody who would of saw the fall had to believe this man was dead, but in about ten seconds he sat back up risen from the dead without a scratch on him. Yet, still flithy, and soon to be very itchy.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't a particularly bad day out at all. The sun was nearing it's highest point in the day but the evergreen shade of the trees kept the undergrowth cool. Zen had already been out most of the morning, enjoying a shady morning walk amongst the dew laden trees, and was on her way back to do some serious gardening. Her tomatoes were coming in nicely and she found it hard to believe that it was already time for a few of them to come in.

As she walked and thought about her juicy red tomatoes she was surprised, and totally caught off guard, by a man falling from up high. She had heard that song that was circulating about the towns about it raining men but she didn't know it was based on truth! The man had fallen into a poison ivy patch below and she thought he was good as dead when he popped back up as if unhurt. Obviously startled, Zen watched the man for a good long moment, wondering how it was that he could fall from such a great height and still be able to get back up.

"You better get out of that patch otherwise you'll just make it worse."

She wasn't really sure why she said it; it more or less seemed to be the first thing on her mind next to how he was feeling. At the moment she figured he was fine, after all he had gotten back up, but there was probably a broken bone or two that he was yet unaware of; with an untreated poison ivy rash and a broken arm and being left alone in the woods, it would make for a miserable time. She was feeling hospitable so she was more than willing to take him back to her tiny hut and patch him up...for perhaps an nominal fee.

[Anonymous]

He stopped for a moment as the itchy hit him, he started scratching at his arms as he danced away from the bush  frailing about the bush as the toxin invaded his skin. His ears heard a voice as he looked up at the woman. "No, I'm fine it won't do any harm," he said as his eye twitched slighty reacting to the toxin. "Seriously, I should be okk... I'll take a lot more, then this... Damn it's so itchy... Gotta scratch!"

Already, he was starting to break out he might be allergic to the stuff. He just kind of stood there as he leaned up a tree to scratch his back as he got a better look at this stranger full of advice. " Awww... That feels good.... See I just lost a fight over a tree with a squirrel.. Pesky little buggers.. I was just enjoying a nice nap in a tree.. Since last time I set-up camp I got trampled over by Buffalo... Well, that was quite sometime ago the most recent was being taken away by a giant hawk almost got ate, that day." Ira said as he let out another sigh of relief, " I guess I'm rambling... I'm so sorry.. I haven't even got your name."

He shook his mid-section a little as he tried to scratch a rather brother-some part of his rear. His nostrils flared a bit as he caught a whiff of his odor  "I smell worst, then a wet dog," Ira said with a bit of distain in his voice. "I could really go for a bath, or possibly a waterfall shower... Oh how rude of me... Asking for your name without giving mine.. I'm Ira by the by.."

[Anonymous]

Zen watched him dance about, ranting and raving about a tree squirrel, and she had to say that she wasn't impressed. It didn't really make sense to her as to why the poison ivy would've gotten on his back and other covered areas but the simple fact of the matter was that he had made contact with it and he'd have to undergo some sort of treatment if he didn't want it to blister. She sighed to herself as her mother hen instinct kicked in; if she didn't get him back to her hut where she could effectively help him, it'd get worse, and at the rate that the allergy was taking hold, it wouldn't be long before he'd be totally miserable.

"Zenamara," she replied shortly, holding out a hand to him. "Come on, scratching it is only going to make it worse. Let me get you back to my hut where I can treat it."

As she held her arm extended out to him, she took notice of the leaves. They had the same shape and coloring of poison ivy but there was something odd nagging at the back of her mind. She hadn't remembered there being a bush there; when she first started living here she had made it her point to know where all the dangerous, poisonous, and generally unpleasant plants liked to live. When she got back home she'd have to remember to check her map to be sure.

A woman of few words and many actions, she grabbed his wrist, impatient to get home. "Worry about your smell and your itches later. My hut is only a few feet from here and the sooner we get there the sooner I promise you'll feel better."

[Anonymous]

There wasn't much aruging with this woman as saw has she grabbed his arm, he was really to itchy to resist. He did open his mouth to mention he was a bit danger prone, but since the swelling of his tongue stopped him from pronuacing anything too meaningful, "Bl...ah... Dang.... Pro..onmogess....umahayqsha..."

Catching the rather plump tongue in his gaze he just rolled his eyes giving up on what he was going to say. So, all he could really do was to look around in the sky watching out for any hidden dangers, that might want to in-vain make a snack out of him. Wasn't to worry about his own safety, it was just this woman in front of him. He didn't want her to get hurt being around him, but again there wasn't much he could do unable to talk, and she was quite a strong woman. Also, a bit scary for a instant he was reminded of his ex-wife. She was a bit plump as well, and a strong as a bucking ox.

Suddenly, a scene of dodging flung plates, and pottery popped into his head. Thank god she had terrible aim, Ira thought to himself. The allergy made him look quite strange like a puffy over-sized child his cheeks was starting to swell as well giving him a rather pudgy look.