"They're always screaming in the books," he muttered sullenly. "Jack? Are we okay? Are we going to be okay now? Or does this just change everything for the worst?"

"What does wh..." Fletch stared, confused again, then shook his head to clear his mind. The man truly didn't know much. It explained everything, though, that was for certain. "I dunno. I mean, I know you can whisper. Just...do that? Or hold a hand over your mouth? Scream into the pillow? I'll be there, it's not like I can't stop you and tell you." His eye flashed hungrily at being told that he was wanted, and for a moment he sat up a little straighter, but by the next sentence out of Theo's pretty mouth, he'd deflated again. 

"Well...do what feels right," he replied. "I'll be here when you want to. Doesn't have to be everything all at once, either. Slow's got its own merits."

Fletcher's touch caused him to raise his gaze, his uncertainty and vulnerability crystal clear in his hazel eyes. He leaned in for as long as it was there before settling back into his spot and allowing Fletcher his space.

"What does stress relief have to do with any of this?" He asked innocently. Theo sighed and shook his head. "Again I know you won't. I DO listen. I just...how are we to be intimate in a house with so many people? I can't hear anything," he pouted. "It's so easy to get caught. It's so easy for me to make a sound without realizing. I want this. I want you more than you could ever know. I just am struggling with my own worthiness."

Fletcher listened intently to every concern, still holding Theo's hands firmly in his own. When the man trailed off into his usual doubts and shrinking, though, Fletch chuckled quietly. He reached up and brushed a thumb tenderly across the nobleman's cheek. "You know, of the two of us, you seem like you need the stress relief a little more," he smiled. "So tell me this, then. You're in this house, right. Say, some day, it all goes your way. Your shit dad is dead. Mum, too. You run the place. You have complete freedom to come and go as you please. You've been trapped there your whole life, and you've got all that time to make up for and the whole world to see. Would you stay here because it's dangerous out there? I don't think you would."

Fletcher shifted, settling back against the wall and making damned sure he wasn't seen as any sort of threat. "You can take it at your own pace, love. I won't push. But don't tell me you're going to let fear get in the way of something good. You won't know the answers to everything you've said unless you try it."

He looked absolutely miserable as Fletcher muddled through putting the puzzle pieces together and coming to the correct conclusion. He knew he was an oddity. Hell his own father had tried to gift him with a whoring experience once he was of age and instead Theo had quietly spent the evening discussing with the women how they liked their jobs and how a pleasure house was run taking into the pros and cons of working in one versus on the streets as an independent. But to be his age and still be a virgin with nothing but romance stories to guide him in his desires was doing him no favors.

When he spoke it was in a voice still full of dejection and shame. "I do very, very much desire you. I desire everything with you. But I'm afraid of the pain. I'm afraid of being terrible. I'm terrified of being caught especially during my...first time. Or what if you hate it? Or worse what if I hate it? You promised to stay but what if you keep your word and you're miserable because we don't do things? Or we both enjoy it but I'm still not enough to satisfy you because you're...used to a very active private life?

"There's so many things and I've been trying not to make it your problem and to sort through it myself because it's all so stupid and silly and has very little to do with you. Just ignore me it's fine. I'm being unnecessarily annoying I know."

Fletcher squinted. He cocked his head like a dog trying to understand a new word. After a moment of that, he withdrew a hand and scratched his chin. "Never," he said. "Like never as in...oh. Ohhhhh." Elbow up on his knee again and chin balanced between his thumb and forefinger, he continued to process what he'd just heard. "That...yeah. No. Mmhm. That, erm...yeah. No. Everything makes so much sense now. I just didn't..."

He rubbed at the bridge of his nose and then dropped his hand and returned his attention to Theo. He was relieved. Strangely relieved. And much of the tension had left his face as a result of it. "I thought you just didn't have any interest. I thought, I don't know. I don't know what I thought. Certainly didn't think it was this, I can tell you that much."

Fletch took up Theo's other hand again. "I don't think I've ever been with a virgin. Maybe once, when I was fourteen or fifteen, and I didn't know it. But not where I've been aware of it. So in a way...I don't really know what I'm doing either, love. Which is maybe the least comforting thing I could tell you, honestly, but there you have it."

He squinted again as he worked his way up to a question. "So...so you do want to? You're just, what...is it scary? Is it the pain thing? Or...I mean...if it's just that you're worried you'll disappoint, I can assure you you won't. Really. I can promise you that."

Theo stopped his hands in Fletcher's grip but still squirmed a bit before finally giving up an answering. "I've never slept with anyone before, man or woman. I've never done any of this before beyond kissing. Last night...it was a first. I know you said you don't compare lovers and it's all so silly but I am...afraid and I don't know what I'm doing and no you won't leave but I don't know if I'll be enough and I don't want you resenting me or feeling trapped by me."

Fletch grimaced at the sight of the blood. "Stop that," he muttered. He leaned forward and grasped both of Theo's hands in his own. "Embarrassed? What's there to be embarrassed by?"

"No," he replied sternly, crossing his legs and sitting up straighter across from him. "You said you won't leave. I believe you. I asked you to come back if you have to. I believe you will. I listen to you and I don't understand where you come from saying I don't. I repeat that I believe you. I repeat that I don't need you to demonstrate your truth, that saying it is enough for me."

He lowered his head and picked at his cuticles until his fingers began to bleed and yet still kept picking out of anxiety. "I lack self-worth. This you know. I fight very hard with it to allow your praise to drown it out but it isn't something that will suddenly fix itself overnight. You're not the first person to offer praise. You just will be the first to not hurt me with it. And on top of that I am..."

Theo rolled his neck side to side and shifted his seated position in discomfort. "I'm embarrassed," he admitted while staring at Fletcher's jaw instead of his eyes.

Fletch grunted, and for a long time that was his only response. Then he rolled from Theo's embrace and sat up and leaned against the wall, arm up on one knee, regarding the man carefully. "And you think one too many times and I'll leave. Is that it?" he asked. He sighed and shook his head and scratched at his stubble. "And no matter what I tell you, you won't really believe it, right? Because when do you ever listen to what I tell you? But I'll say it anyway: you haven't even scratched the damned surface with anything you've done. You're the best thing that's happened to me, Theo. And I just told you this earlier today: you'll know it if you fuck up. You'll see it coming. This isn't that. Anyways, is this what it's going to be? The same conversation again and again because what I'm telling you doesn't sound like the lies you tell yourself?"