Up on the balcony overlooking the Club, the Melovingian was reclining easily into his plush chair. The Clones were each standing behind the chair and at attention, ready to do their master's bidding. And, last but not least, Radeon was in her own chair busily typing away on a computer.
"Have you found what I told you to find, Radeon...?" asked the Melovingian after taking a sip from his glass of wine.
"Yes, sir!" reported Radeon as she busily pecked at the keys of her bulletproof (bulletproof?) laptop. "I have spent several days breaking through the firewall and cracking the encrypted information, but I finally have it for you sir!"
She pressed a button and the list of information that the Melovingian requested printed out on a printer next to his chair. He nonchalantly reached out, snatched the paper, and took a glance at it.
The Melovingian snickered and put his glass of wine on the table in front of him. He stood up and held the paper up high, "I finally have it! A list of the Usergroups of SotE and their members! And with this information, I will create my own Usergroup, and I shall call it 'The Melovingian's Exiles'! Once this is done...it will be The One Usergroup to Rule Them All!!"
Radeon looked up from her laptop. "Sir, the green light scanner thingie as detected several personnel entering the Club. Oh...one of them is reading to be Nehru, sir."
The Melovingian glanced over his shoulder to peer over the balcony. "Oh, excellent. I did not think that she would accomplish her mission so quickly! Invite her up, Radeon."
"Will do, sir," replied Radeon.
"What a dump," remarked Morning, crossing her arms and making a disappointed face that only a spoiled, teenage Queen could make.
"You're just mad because it reminds you of your house," jived Nina.
"You wanna another card game duel, missy??" snarled Morning.
F-Zero stepped in between the two with his arms fully extended. "Ladies, ladies, control yourselves-"
"Shut up!" both of them shouted at the rocker, who clamped down on his ears with his hands.
Nehru shook her head and sighed to herself. "Please don't let this turn out like last time..."
Just then, a big neon sign appeared right in front of the group that read 'Welcome back, Nehru. The Melovingian is waiting.'
"Oh that is really neat! A nice touch!" commented Femme.
And just then, Dirk tried to walk into the Club.
The sign changed quickly to 'Assassins are not welcome here. Go away.'
And Dirk walked away with his head hanging down in shame.
"Let's go," said Nehru.
"Have a seat..." offered the Melovingian to Nehru and her group, gesturing to the same big couch as before.
In effort to put as much space as possibly between the two rivals, they sat down in the order of Morning, F-Zero, Femme, Nehru, Kelly, and Nina at the other end.
"Now then, I take it that you have found the MacGuffin, yes?" inquired the Melovingian as he made a circular motion with the hand that held his glass of wine.
"Not...exactly," admitted Nehru.
"Not...exactly?" repeated the Melovingian, who perked a suspicious eyebrow.
"The Drow don't have it," explained Nehru. "So now-"
"Are you sure the Drow don't have it?" The Melovingian asked. "Because I just recently came into the possession of some information that could help you eliminate them."
"They really don't-" started Nehru.
"Behold!" exclaimed the Melovingian as Clone A thrusted the Usergroup list forward. "I have the names! I think you should start with Darth Mod, who seems to be the leader of them. If he doesn't have it, just work your way down the line with Annoth, D-vad-"
"The Drow don't have the MacGuffin!" interjected Nehru.
"But-" started the Melovingian.
"Who's not the Frenchman? Huh? Who's not the Frenchman?" inquired Nehru in the same vain as the Mel himself last time around.
"Alright, alright, you're not the Frenchman," conceded the Melovingian. He rubbed his chin and spoke, "Hmm...so the Drow do not have the MacGuffin. I knew this all along..." Nehru gave him the look of 'Oh I know you just didn't!' as he continued regardless, "so that leaves me with only one option. We have will have to use the most powerful search device ever created! Radeon!"
"Yes, sir!" she reported enthusiastically.
The Melovingian smirked and took a sip from his wine. "Load Google."
"At once, sir!" replied Radeon as she began complying with his request.
"It may take her a moment to acquire a secure connection," explained the Melovingian. "You see, we're technically not supposed to have the Internet in the first place. But, even though you're not supposed to have something, does not mean that you can't get it." The Melovingian snickered and partook in another drink of his wine (<- why hasn't he run out of wine yet? maybe the same reason why guns never run out of bullets?).
"In the meantime, ask me anything you would like to know..." offered the Mel.
"Me first!" exclaimed Morning.
"Don't listen to her! Me first!" interjected Nina as she raised her hand up.
"Shut up! I said me first! I'm royalty!" argued Morning.
The Melovingian slowly perked an eyebrow as he asked at the same speed, "Who...ze hell are you two?"
"You don't know who I am??" both Nina and Morning burst out.
"They're nobodies, boss," said Clone A.
"Yeah, nobodies," agreed Clone B.
Morning and Nina alike both looked harassed, and Morning started out with, "Well, for your information I happen to be Morning, Queen of Serendipity!"
Then Nina, "And I'm-"
"Don't pay attention to her," interrupted Morning. "Just answer my question! Does Kadmus really like me as much as I like him?"
"He's your uncle, of course not," answered the Melovingian curtly.
"HE'S MY UNCLE??" Morning shouted in disbelief and shock. In a panic, she stood up from the couch, glanced around frantically, then jumped over the balcony and crashed down on the dance floor below.
"Cute," remarked the Melovingian. He glanced at Nina, "I certainly hope that you're not as...eccentric as she was."
"Of course not," responded Nina. "As I was saying, I am Nina the Lady Dread. All I want to know is whether or not Makaris is playing pimp at night."
"Not only that, he's selling those 'pictures' you and him took together," answered the Melovingian equally curtly.
"I'LL KILL HIM!!" Nina shouted in anger and shock. In a rage, she stood up from the couch, glanced around frantically, then jumped over the balcony and crashed down on the dance floor below.
Nehru blinked.
The Melovingian shook his head.
Femme went 'Oooo...'
Kelly scratched her head.
"You sure do know a lot, dude," remarked F-Zero.
"That's my business," replied the Melovingian with a smirk.
And it was just then that Nehru sparked an idea in her head. "Ok Mel, you know a lot, hmm? Can you tell me what a Nightmare is? I was attacked by one who called himself Hitcaller when I was looking for the Drow."
The Melovingian spit out his wine in surprise. "Hitcaller!? Ze Hitcaller!?"
"You know him?" Nehru asked.
"No," replied the Melovingian with a chuckle. "I have no idea who you're talking about."
"But you said-!"
"Radeon!" called out the Melovingian. "Almost finished?"
Nehru made a frustrated face.
"It..." started Radeon as she continued to type dramatically on her laptop. "...seems that there is a problem. I can't find Google anywhere!"
The Melovingian could have painted a house with all of the colorful French language that came out of his mouth. "Not again! It seems now that we will have to resort to the next best thing..."
"And that is? Huh? Huh? What?" inquired a curious Kelly.
The Melovingian took a business card out from his pocket and gave it to Clone B, who walked over to Nehru and presented it to her. "Go and talk to Charon, a subordinate of mine. She'll be able to find you the information you need about the MacGuffin. You should find her in her restaurant in Connlaoth...now move along and get me my MacGuffin!"
"Good idea, sir!" encouraged Radeon, who seemed rather enthused.
Nehru took the card and said to herself, "Here we go then..."
"We're going on an adventure! Isn't that great, Nehru!" exclaimed an excited Femme. "I want you to save me from a horde of bad guys! Those situations are tons of fun and great for ratings too!"
Nehru glanced at the Melovingian. "You wanna keep her?" She gestured at Femme.
The Melovingian scratched his chin, "She looks like she'd make an interesting pet... Certainly."
"Thanks, I owe you one," replied Nehru as she and F-Zero and Kelly got up and started down the stairs.
"Ooo!" moaned Femme. "You're selling me to your boss? What an interesting plot twist! Oh! Then this whole establishment could get assaulted by the forces of darkness and then you'd have to come back here in a hurry and rescue me from the blazing fire and Ooo... Ok! I'll be waiting for you!"
As the three were going down the stairs, F-Zero commented, "That's one psycho chick."
"I guess all Love Interests suffer the same kind of stuff," remarked Nehru.
"What a sorry lifestyle," was Kelly's input.
Then the three exited the Club, and started towards Connlaoth (and now that this is SotE version 9, they can finally use that map!!).
Post-Post Tidbit: - Tips from Femme for other Prospective Love Interests
Femme: Alright girls, here's a few quick pointers to help you and your hero have a more meaningful relationship together! Ooo...here we go!
1) Make sure you keep that waistline thin and that bosom big! There are plenty of great dietary supplements available that are excellent replacements for things as fatty as food! And remember the bust size rule: Bigger is better! But don't forget that nice shape and roundness also play a key factor in having those perfect, make-men-drop-to-their-knees-and-twitch-uncontrollably breasts!
2) Make sure you get into plenty of trouble! This helps keep your relationship with your hero from becoming stagnant. Remember! A hero is a high maintenance boyfriend, and they actually like all of the adventures they have! So, whenever you see a switch that says 'Do not press', press it! And let's not forget those villians either! They work tirelessly to create havoc for our heroes to resolve! So make their job a little easier on them, and just tie yourself up and deliver yourself to their evil stronghold! They'll thank you for it later for sparing them the stress of trying to capture you!
3) Fashion! Fashion! Fashion! Old school princess dresses are still alright, but kinda stale. Try to think outside the box for this new age of heroes and villains and stories! When designing your outfit, remember to have elements that tell a little about yourself, but don't be too liberal. As we all know, even in this new age, heroes are still little boys at heart, and feel intimidated by a woman they might perceive as too independent!
4) Try to pick up a common little everyday talent and then perform really well at it! This seemingly little detail builds your character tremendously, and can also tie in very well with storyline and plot! Singing is a very popular choice for beginners! Dancing, sewing, and other more advanced skills are tricky, but don't give up!
5) Always, ALWAYS, remember to have your neat little keepsake! Whether it's a pendant, a ribbon, an instrument, a picture, a musicbox, whatever you like, always have a little keepsake! And always remember to keep its secret, hidden, ultra-bad-guy-annihilating-power charged at all times! You never know when you might need it!
6) Last but not least! Remember to have a shiny and sparkling personality! This comes in several different flavors, such as:
-The Quiet/Shy Girl: Always a choice that makes the audience go 'Awww!'
-The Spunky Girl: She's always full of spirit! Everybody likes a spunky girl!
-The Slightly Rebellious Girl: But not too rebellious! Remember, little boys at heart! These types are great for getting into lots of trouble!
-The Princess: A classic! Always a good choice!
No matter what flavor you are, remember to keep that personality shiny and sparkly! I recommend waxing it once a week for a lasting shine!
Alright ladies, do your best at being that Love Interest!
-Femme, with love~~~
