Maladies Most Unusual (COMPLETE)

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Eckhart flinched as the cat jumped back onto his shoulders, paws digging into his coat. "Ow, what gives?" he said angrily. The cat hissed back at him in return. "What's this thing's damage?" Eckhart asked nobody in particular. At Ewan's remark, his eyes lit up. "Oh yeah!" He pulled the book out from under his coat. The cat's eyes seemed to light up a bit. "Check this out Kino!"

Flipping to a random page, he handed the book to his friend. "Check out all these remedies! There are a tone of obscure ones in here, stuff I didn't even know. Who know you could cure measles with birch wood and shiitake mushrooms?"

[Alize]

"Kia's Court. We're heading to Kia's Court, about three days downstream. Nice pleasant cruise for us, eh?" Kino merrily chimed. "Thanks."

"Hmmm..."

Not noticing the cat's baleful gaze firmly affixed on her, Kino accepted the book and began to leaf through the pages, occasionally pausing when the mention of a particularly obscure or interesting reagent caught her eye. Behind her mask, she frowned.

"Eckhart, this book is a hoax. Measles are caused by an imbalance of phlegm and black bile, but shiitake only affects the blood. And there's no documented case of birch changing the..."

"Oh. Oh dear."

Kino paused. She had just flipped to a page detailing the third step of a complex brew to rouse the comatose. A tertiary ingredient had caught her eye. A sudden weight grew in the pit of her stomach and the hairs on her neck's nape bristled. The recipe asked for extract of gray fenshade.

Gray fenshade grew in the bleakest of marshes, unholy places where vile things walked. It was said to come from the tears of a mad god. It was rumored to corrode the very soul of the imbiber and draw them into a depraved insanity. Gray fenshade was the kind of plant that would land you in deep, deep trouble. Not trouble with the local constabulary - trouble with inquisitors and witch-finders and hunters of the damned.

Forcing her hands not to tremble, Kino Vanden lowered the book and looked her friend in the eye. That damn cat's gaze seemed to pierce through her. Any hint of the previous joviality in her voice was gone.

"Eckhart. Where did you find this?"

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Eckhart went red in the face. "I-I got it from the library... Why?" Pausing, he remembered how confused the librarian had been to see the book. "Well, actually, I'm not sure if it was supposed to be there in the first place. But don't worry, I'm sure it's not dangerous if we do the recipes correctly, right Ewan?" Looking back at Kino, Eckhart frowned. "What's got you so worried?"

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POV Switch

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Belladonna hissed at the boy. "Idiot! Did you not see what you did to that cow!" She jumped off the boys shoulder, determined to somehow communicate with the only smart human the entire boat. Scrambling onto Kino's shoulder, Belladonna meowed and touched the woman's mask with her good paw. Come on, talk to me. You seem fairly intelligent for somebody who isn't a cat."

[Alize]

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Kino returned the open book to Eckhart. She spoke in a hurried manner that was all business.

"The tertiary reagent that's dehydrated, a third of the way down the left page. The concentrate added in the fourth stage of brewing, halfway down. The strained extract added two moons following that."

She paused and caught her breath. "Tell me, Eckhart, do you know what any of those are? Do you know where they come from?"

As her friend pored over the tome, Kino swallowed. The blood was pounding in her temples. She closed her eyes and began a simple calming meditation exercise she had learned long ago, when she felt a light tapping on her mask. Belladonna mewed. The cat's gaze was flitting back and forth between Kino's eyes and the book with an eerie clarity of purpose. A thought occurred to her. It was unlikely, but Kino Vanden hadn't lived as long as she had by not covering all of her bases.

Reaching her arm around to scratch behind the cat's ear, she crouched down and addressed the dark-haired ragamuffin. Her gentle tone belied the gnawing at the pit of her stomach.

"Ewan, can you tell me exactly when this kitty started following you?"

[Whim]

"Yes..." Ewan replied to Eckhart with a sigh, turning to Kino. With a knitted brow he thought back. There was a stray he felt sorry for in town. "Um, I don't know... Maybe when we went from the library to the store. Or from the store to the farm. Why?

"And come on! You don't need to hide it from me!" He was of course much more interested in just what got Kino so riled. Why wasn't she telling him? The boy scrambled atop the crate to read over Eckhart's shoulder, blocking the young man's view. Social nicities like personal space had departed with much of his patience and education, after all.

What was she pointing at again? The third after the fourth of what? Oh there it was, "Isn't Fenshade used for werewolves? No that's nightshade. What's this recipe meant to do anyway?" He scanned the page.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Eckhart eyes scanned the page that Kino had been worried about. Alright, what do we have here..." This particular recipe was very complex, taking over three months of preparation to complete. "Let's see, water, fern root, cranberries, beeswax, rosemary, cranberries again- oh, really now?" Ewan had decided he also wanted to read what Kino had ponted out. He had also decided he'd do this by blocking Eckhart's view of the page with his head. He was about to tell Awan to move, but his blood froze when he heard the boy say "Fenshade'. "Oh fuck. That stuff is a heavily regulated substance, isn't it? Like, I know that only certain alchemists given a permit by the queen are allowed to work with it in Hyoite." Eckhart began to fiddle with his necklace. "It isn't, uh, illegal here... is it?"

[Alize]

"Illegal? Eckhart, let me tell you a story my old Master told me. Back when he was an apprentice, a colleague of his snagged some gray fenshade from this Essyran merchant. Real sketchy type character, right?"

Kino paused to scratch behind the stray's ears. She continued, watching the mangy feline out of the corner of her eye as she spoke.

"So, this would-be alchemist thinks he's a hotshot, and decides that he can concoct a rejuvenant solution with the fenshade. Locks himself in his room to work on it. Now, he ain't coming out to eat or nothing. Time goes by. By the third day, there's this horrible smell coming from the room. My old Master knocks, all concerned-like for his friend. No response, see? Now 'nother day passes, smell getting worse. Then all the apprentices start hearing this creepy laughing coming from the room. Finally, they bust the door down. The laughing is, like, this half-scream by now. The walk right into the room, and come face to face with the poor sonuvabitch, right in the middle of-"

Kino noticed that Ewan had stopped intruding on Eckhart's reading space, and was watching her, face rapt with fascination.

"Godsdamnit, Kino. Like, really."

"In the middle of something real bad."

The apothecary was almost too busy kicking herself for her conduct in front of the child to notice the golden glitter eminating from behind the cat's ear. Almost. The powdered banyan bark she had subtly rubbed into the stray's fur was shining brightly. And banyan powder only glittered in the presence of magic. Her paranoia vindicated, a surge of grim triumph pumped through her chest.

Ewan, Eckhart and the stray had yet to notice. Kino continued to talk, slowly bringing her hand up to massage the cat's flank.

"Th' point is, gray fenshade's serious shit. Maaajor liability. Not just to your health or legal standing, Ecks. I'm talking threat-to-your-immortal-soul type stuff, here..."

Her fingers probed the wrinkles of the cat's skin, kneading the loose flab like clay.

"And the recipe you're lookin' at, that also has Dante's Tear and Witherwisp in it..."

Kino's hand worked its way to the scruff on the nape of the cat's neck.

"But I'm sure..."

The apothecary made her move. Clenching Belladonna by a fold of loose skin, Kino whipped her arm in a smooth arc. Before the cat could react, it was dangling by its scruff and staring right into the opaque black lenses of a plague doctor's mask.

"That this little gal could tell y'all more about that book than I could."

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Belladonna's eyes widened as she dangled in front of the masked woman, hissing in surprise. After the initial shock however, she began to purr. "Thank the goddess, somebody finally figured it out." Sniffing the air, her newfound respect for the woman grew. "Is that banyan bark too? Goodness, you are clever." After a few moments of awkward struggling, she managed to wriggle out of Kino's grasp. After brushing up against the woman's legs, Belladonna meowed and ran over to the edge of the deck. She sat there, waiting. "Come on Kino, you've done well so far. Don't you want to see where I want to go?"

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POV Switch

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Eckhart would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit freaked out by all of this. "Dante's Tear? How the hell do I keep getting dragged into this dangerous shit?" As the cat scampered off, he turned to Ewan."I think we may have made a huge mistake with this book, kiddo." Rolling his eyes, he began to follow the cat to the edge of the boat. "Next thing you know somebody will try to kill us for it, or the book will come to like and try to hold our souls for ransom. Fuck my life."

[Whim]

Ewan sat in rapture by Kino's story. Was that one of the ingredients the Erlking had him use? He hadn't recalled anything daemonic. The way Kino talked, not to mention her accent, suggested she ran in much seedier circles. It was all very interesting up until she copped out at the end. The boy heaved a sigh as she censored the best part, "Well what did he do exactly?

"And any magic worth doings gonna be dangerous! You've just to protect yourself properly," Ewan took on a haughty tone. Despite the incident with the cow he did conquer death! "I mean I could've put a damping -- dampering -- hex on the cow to make the spell go real slow speed could correct it!  mean we cook with fire right?"

The boy's eyes darted back to Kino as she held up the mangy feline, "How do you figure? Oh! You reckon the owner turned into a cat!?" He leaned forward to inspect Belladonna.

The cat impatiently paced from port to starboard at the influx of attention. Something was up. The feline hopped up on a crate beside Eckhart and rubbed her head again his side with stilted affection. And then she nipped a gold bauble from his pack and dashed toward the edge of the ship, jingling it in the air triumphantly.

[Alize]

How th'fuck am I supposed to answer that, wondered Kino.

Well you see Ewan, sometimes grown-ups have... friends, that are really big and really far away. And when those friends are really really big and really really scary and really really far from here, grown-ups make things called pentagramic evocation circles. They're like doorways, you see. Well, they're really pictures that act like doorways, you curious little scamp. But they're not pictures made from ink or chalk, oh-no-no. The bestest pentagramic evocation circles are made from people-parts. Soooo... my Master's old friend was standing smack-dab in the middle of the biggest, bestest, most complicated-est circle you ever saw, made from all his own different people-parts. Now isn't that just so silly?

Kino swallowed to stop herself from laughing.

I. Am. A. Horrible. Person.

"Well Ewan, you see, um... BAD CAT!"

Shiny bauble clamped tightly in her mouth, Belladonna had propelled herself over the edge of the barge. Surfacing a moment later, the black stray began to paddle purposefully towards the shore.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Leaning on the railing, Eckhart looked at the scenery pass by. "At least Kino is back," he thought, trying to cheer himself up. "I suppose that will make things a bit easier, she always seems know what to do." Suddenly, Eckhart felt something lightly touch his backpack. Turning around he saw the cat running off with the gold earring he had acquired from the obnoxious dragon he'd ran into about a month ago. "Hey you mangy shit, give that back!" Moving to give chase, he saw the cat jump off the boat and begin to give swim to shore. "No! I still need to get that thing appraised, I can't loose it! It's probably worth more than my entire house!" Running to where the captain stood at the wheel, Eckhart spoke to him in a panicked voice. "Please sir, you need to to stop and let me off here!" The captain was about to say something snide, but Eckhart cut him off by shoving his entire money pouch into his hand. Shrugging, the captain pointed to the the small lifeboat hanging off the side of the ship. "You can take that."

Nodding in thanks, Eckhart cut the small rowboat off the hull of the larger vessel with his scalpel and jumped in. He was followed by Ewan and Kino, and the three began to make their way to shore.

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POV Switch

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Upon reaching the shore, Belladonna looked back at the water. "Good, they're following me. Really, humans and their trinkets." Belladonna would wait for them to landfall before making herself visible to them, running into the brush in the direction of her old home...

[Whim]

Belladona wasn't a very fast swimmer. The trio had no trouble catching up to the furry black head cresting waters. Judging by her glower the cat wasn't enjoying the prank or whatever this was meant to be.

Ewan lazed against the stern as Kino and Eckhart rowed, imagining himself a prince in a pleasure barge. It was a perk of being so little. The boy briefly wondered if he should take an oar on account of Kino's rasping, but waited until they were almost ashore to offer. "Need some help? I'm tougher than I look you know."

The trio (perhaps quartet) found themselves a few miles down-stream from where they began. The sun was low in the sky and to the north they could see thin wisps of smoke rising from village chimneys. It was a charming place minus locals looking to pelt you with fruit. To the suit there was a dense forest. At the treeline Belladona sat on her haunches, surly and damp, tail flicking to-and-fro.

"You mentioned you had some theory about her, Kino? So what do you reckon she really is?"

[Alize]

Ewan dangled from a low-hanging branch, merrily swinging himself back and forth like a ragamuffin-sized pendulum. Kino glowered at him from behind her mask as she tried to massage the soreness out of her arms. Like seriously, to hell with rowing.

"A theory, eh? Nothing as solid as that. But our little friend here's magic. That much's certain. Take a look at that spot behind her ear." The banyan bark hadn't been entirely washed away by Belladonna's river-plunge, and subtle sparkles were barely discernible in the setting sunlight.

"So, ask yr'selves, why would a magic cat - or at least something cat-shaped - be following you two around? Now I'm just gonna assume that you two picked up little Felicia here at around the same time..."

Caught by a pair of quizzical looks, Kino paused.

"C'mon, the thing needs a name. She's Felicia for now. No arguments. And I'm assuming that Fellie started following you two at around the same time you picked up the book. So we've got a magic critter following a magic book."

Kino paused to yawn, then continued. "Magic isn't my thing, but maybe we're looking at an imp or a sprite or a familiar or something. Summoned 'an bound to the book, y'see. Your guesses are as good as mine, really."

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Upon hearing Kino's suspicions, Eckhart nodded. "That would make sense. I once read a book about binding rituals like that, they kinda create these weird symbiotic relationships between the things being bound together. Like, when a wizard gets hungry, his familiar will get hungry too- stuff like that." Scratching his head, he gave the cat a confused look. "But doesn't Ryvvyll's Law state that binding an intelligent being to an inanimate object will grant the object an intelligence of it's own?"

"Please tell me the book isn't going to start talking to me. I don't think I could deal with that."

Eckhart slowly approached the cat, gently outstretching his hand. "It's alright Felicia, we won't hurt you. I'd just like my-" he began before the cat ran off again, this time heading deeper into the forest. Cursing, Eckhart began to run through the woods after her.

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POV Switch
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"Felicia?" Belladonna thought angrily. While impressed that Kino had been able to guess her true nature, she was not happy with the name the woman had given her. "I'm a cat, not a tavern wench!"

Belladonna turned and ran when the older boy asked for his trinket back. She wasn't finished with it, not yet. After about seven minutes she reached it- an abandoned cottage in the middle of the forest. The door had been barred up, and what was once a well kept garden was now a overgrown mess. Belladonna waited until she knew the travelers could see her before entering the building through a shattered window. "Home sweet home..."

[Whim]

Ewan screwed up his face; his swinging slowed to a halt. It should have been obvious the cat was a familiar; she was acting awful funny. How did he miss it? Of course they both missed something obvious too so the score was even. The boy lept from the tree in a flurry of crunching leaves, pulling a large grimoire from his pack. His own spell book was ratty and dog-eared, and filled with misplaced sketches, "Well someone wrote the book. Maybe she's just got an owner?

"Hey wait!" he took off in pursuit of Eckhart and the cat. Ewan's little legs couldn't carry him quite so far as the older boy; he was just about able to keep pace with Kino whose affliction no doubt slowed her. "You don't got to run we're following you!"

The chase took them deep into what was not so much a forest but a coniferous swamp, nourished by the ebb and flow of the river. It was dark and wet and trees blocked out most of the sunlight, but the mud and pine needles made the earth soft like a fine carpet. Their journey ended at a ramshackle cottage, nestled in the bough of a dead tree. It was impossible to tell where the little hut ended and the tree began. The plot was encircled by a rotted picket fence and an overgrown garden. The only sign of life was a crooked scarecrow, positioned by the gate as if he were a doorman.

Eckhart was waiting at the gate.

"Whoa! Its... well I bet it used to be pretty," the smaller boy peered up at the house. "Fellicia's" yellow-green eyes were just visible through the window. He reached out to open the gate, giving the scare-crow a grin, "This must be the place. Looks abandoned. Except for the witch inside, I guess, but we kind of were invited..."

[Alize]

"Then let's not keep this "witch" waiting, eh?"

Kino jovially patted the scarecrow twice on the shoulder before tapping the decrepit gate with the tip of a boot. It swung inwards with a silence starkly at odds with the patina of rust on its worn-out hinges.

Neither of the boys bounded past her towards the cottage, so Kino shrugged, shook the loamy swamp-peat off her boots and stepped past the gate onto a lichen-encrusted cobblestone. Then onto another, and another. Taking great care to only tread on the stones that "Felicia" had bounded over, lest she trip a hex or a ward or some other manner of arcane deathtrap, she made her way towards the cottage proper.

The structure's interior was disappointingly devoid of the bile-filled cauldrons and skull piles which Kino had envisioned. A moldy bed took up one corner of the ramshackle room; a shelf of moth-eaten books filled another. A soot-caked, stone fireplace was embedded into the far wall, and the center of the chamber was dominated by an empty table with a lone chair. The musk of mildew was nigh-on overpowering.

The black stray was perched neatly atop the table, features emblazoned with a look that couldn't be described as anything other than "moody." It regarded each of the trio in turn, scrunched its face into something that half-resembled a wink, then jerked its head towards the fireplace. Eckhart's bauble sailed in a clean arc towards the hearth.

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Eckhart gingerly followed Kino into the cottage, a determined look on his face. As somebody who had grown up with nothing of value, having something stolen from bothered him a lot more than it would normally. "Stupid cat. Why does this bullshit always happen to me?"

The house was a mess. Cobwebs hung from he ceiling and Eckhart could hear mice under the floorboards. "It doesn't look like anybody's lived here in years. If the cat is a familiar, than whoever she belonged to doesn't live here." The cat was sitting on a table in the middle of the room glowering at them. Upon seeing Eckhart, it threw the earring out of it's mouth into the fireplace. Without thinking, Eckhart ran to catch it.

And then the chalk circle in front of the fireplace lit up, right as Eckhart stepped in it. Eckhart felt a brief *WOOSH* of magic, and then everything was still. After a pause, he snatched the earring out of the fireplace and pocketed it. Turning around, he grimaced at Kino and Ewan. "Alright, lets get out of-"

"Not so fast, tuna fish." said the cat. Eckhart stopped mid sentence and stared at it. "Quit gawking at me you dipshit. Give me permission to speak to the others, I want to talk to them too." Eckhart swallowed nervously. "Dammit, I knew something like this would happen..." "Oh, um, ok..." Eckhart said, feeling very confused. "I guess you can talk to them."

"No!" said the cat. "It needs to be a definitive yes! Saying "I guess" has no power behind it." Eckhart looked at his companions apologetically before stating "You may speak to them." The cat nodded in appreciation before continuing.

"Alright, so," the cat said, jumping off the table. "First off my name is Belladonna, not Felicia. That name is awful, never call me that. Walking to the fireplace, Belladonna pushed on a tile with her nose, causing a trapdoor to open in front of her. "Come on you nimrods, there's a lot I need to explain." she meowed before jumping down into the room below...

[Whim]

"Nothing. Good. At. All." Ewan was busy browsing the books and assorted nicknacks, which lay behind a curtain of cobwebs. There was a decades old copy of Encyclopedia Serenia, a book of bedtime stories, a book of bedtime stories, and a particularly dog-eared bodice-ripper. Nothing to suggest the occupant was anything other than a lonely shut-in. Then came a flash of light and whoosh of stale air. The boy whirled and then noticed the chalk markings for the first time. He shriked a warning, but by then the cat was yowling at Eckhart, and then she was talking. Ewan gave a sour look as she fled down the fireplace, "Why didn't you do a ! And what's a talking cat going to do to us anyway, Felicia?"

The little sorcerer stepped forward to inspect Eckhart, steering clear of the crude magic circle. It had something to do with conjuration and possession and binding.  "Guess it wasn't a trap. What did she do? Did she take over your body? Or wait. Is she your familiar now? Or are you her's?" Whatever the answer to that question Eckhart felt suddenly damp and uncomfortable. The scent of fresh water, dead mice, and mildew flooded his brain. It was as if he suddenly had a new appendage. The older boy seemed alright, all things considered.

The boy scrambled to the hearth, peering with interesting down the narrow, dark passage behind it. Then he began to hum... a stalk of phosphorescent mushroom bloomed from his palm. "Come on, yeah? We'd be dead if she wanted it!"

***

The cramped passage way spiraled into the earth. The tunnel was pitch black and formed of damp earth. It opened up into a rough-hewn basement in the hollow of the tree. Old, petrified roots descended from the ceiling like pillars. The edges of the chamber were lined with shelves and work-benches. One shelf was stocked with jars of pickled pixies and other tiny creatures - were they moving? Another table was laden with long, desiccated tentacles from a river kraken.

At the center of it all was a circular slab of stone covered in chalk dust. Belladonna sat in the center, tail flicking side-to-side as she waited.

[Alize]

Kino swerved her head to avoid a low-hanging, calcified tree root as the trio filed into the decrepit cellar. Belladonna stood up, arched her back, and thrice flicked her tail back and forth in impatience. Three pairs of eyes on her, the familiar met the gaze of each of the humans in turn before clearing her throat in a dramatic manner.

"Ahem. Ah-hah-ha-hem. Now listen up. I'm sure the three of you are nitwits are wondering-"

"Why a familiar who's bound to a tome with the recipe for Fithvael's Fantastic Flea Finisher can't stop scratching herself? I was wondering about that, I'll admit."

Kino knew that she was playing with fire by goading the cat, but the alchemist was never one to stand slack-jawed and passive as fate unfurled around her. For better or worse, she would take the unknown by the horns, on her terms.

"Also, why are we here?"

[Eckhart_Von_Musel]

Belladonna's good eye twitched a bit at Kino's remark. "How dare you talk back to me. I wouldn't even let another cat treat me that way." "One of these days, us cats will overthrow you two legged freaks. You'll be sorry."

Tail lashing angrily, she stood up and scampered to the messy, reagent covered desk in the back of the room. A crumpled witches hat was lying on the floor underneath. Pushing aside moldy fungi and decayed rabbit feet, she found the candle she was looking for. While she wasn't too happy with the human she'd gotten as her new partner, Belladonna was glad to finally have her cantrips back. Touching her nose to the candle's wick, she caused it to spring to life. Reacting to this, the other candles in the room lit up immediately. Turning back to see that Eckhart had finally made his way into the room, she jumped off the desk and back onto the chalk circle.

"Alright, now if you're done interrupting me," she began, giving the masked woman a dirty look. "I'll tell you why you're here."

"How long has it been?"

"Her name was Vanya. She was only eighteen when she found me and took me in." Looking sadly at the dusty old hat, she continued. "When she first bound me to her, we were so exited. So... stupid. We were going to cure the world together, she told me." Looking back at the humans, Belladonna let out a quiet chuckle. "For a few years, all we did was experiment with reagents, trying to find new cures for illnesses. We... never had much luck. When he showed up, offered to give us the remedies we wanted..." Belladonna's voice trailed off before she continued, fur bristling with anger. "Well, how were we supposed to say no?"

"Why didn't I say something?"

"This... being. It never gave us a name, but he told us that he sympathized with us. Wanted to see us succeed. Vanya and I were young and foolish, so we believed him." Belladonna took a look at the hat once more. "We ended up calling him "The Giftgiver". My girl signed a paper in blood, and she suddenly knew a whole bunch of cures that we never would've thought of. They'll apparently only work if the person mixing the ingredients knows what it will create, so we were making remedies that literally nobody else could. We never stopped to think about what happened until Vanya had that accursed dream..."

"I failed."

"Some witches, before they pass on, will receive a dream the day before. Call it fate throwing them a bone. In Vanya's dream, saw the Giftgiver taking her away, and leaving me behind. When she realized what she had done, who she had made a bargain with, she became obsessed with atonement. She knew the Giftgiver was probably watching her, so she had me write down all of the most useful remedies we discovered and leave them in the library for somebody to find, in hopes that somebody else would make good use of them." Belladonna stopped talking for a few seconds, before quietly continuing. "When I got back from the library, she was already gone."

"Why couldn't it have taken me too?"

Looking at Eckhart and Ewan, Belladonna's tone of voice became very harsh. "Imagine my surprise when, after four years, you two idiots pick up the book and start misusing it. Now, because you two are stupid, I'm going to have to follow you to make sure you don't fuck up again." Now looking solely at the fishy smelling boy, Belladonna's eyes narrowed. "You'd better not think that because we're bound together it means you can treat me like a pet either. You're not Vanya, and you never will be."

Looking at Kino, Belladonna meowed snidely. "I can tell you've wanted to say something for a while. Spit it out, Beaky."