So. What to do with You? [Probable M]

[DragonSong]

Never clearly knew their way around the campsite, despite the fact that it had really only been set up the day before; even more than some of the other circus members, they moved with a kind of quick, practiced ease through the tents and practice areas.

They reached a series of smaller food and drink stalls closer to the entrance to the fairgrounds and slowed their pace a bit, looking around. "Alright, so...whatcha want? Something quick and easy, something hot...?" They trailed off, glancing back over their shoulder at Rhyske as they spoke.

Most of the stalls were already up and running, though the fairgrounds wouldn't be open to patrons for another hour or so. It seemed that many of the performers and workers simply ate at the stalls before they began their day, as clusters of them were scattered around the area, most holding food and drink, laughing as they chattered amongst themselves. A few shot Rhyske and Never curious looks, but non approached them. 

[Paladienne]

Rhyske followed Never around the campsite, amazed that they seemed to know where everything was despite the newness of it all. Rhyske never would've been able to navigate it on his own without some kind of guide, so he was glad Never was with him. And being with them, Rhyske didn't dare allow himself to become distracted by all that there was to see. He was sure he'd have time to explore on his own at some point. After all, he couldn't always rely upon others to help him out.

"Uh," Rhyske stared around at the stalls, watching the people and seeing what was available. He really didn't know how to answer Never's question, because everything looked so good. But something caught his attention then, a stall serving small balls of cake that were bathed in a sweet-smelling syrup, and a bright smile bloomed on his face. He pointed, like a small child would, a bright grin lighting up his face. "That one!"

He didn't wait for Never to follow, instead dodging past them and toward the small group that surrounded the stall. He at least had enough manners to wait his turn, but then Rhyske remembered that he didn't have any coin with which to pay the vendor. More, he wasn't even sure if the food being given out to the circus performers and assistants was free, and he didn't want to embarrass himself, Never, or the vendor. He winced and stepped back out of line, looking slightly dejected. Rhyske returned to Never's side then, giving a small smile. "On second thought, I'm not really that hungry. I can wait until lunch."

[DragonSong]

"Kid." Never grinned, reached out as though to clap Rhyske's shoulder, then caught themselves and drew their hand back again. With a soft chuckle, they shook their head before cocking it to the side while they looked him up and down. "First of all, no one here should ever be going hungry. No matter the circumstances. Second, you're not gonna get anywhere around here if you're too afraid to make mistakes!"

Their smile softened and they nodded toward the vendors again. "You're worried about coin, right? You shouldn't be. Until everyone in the troupe starts to recognize your face, you'll be with me, or the Ringmaster, or maybe Elea and her husband, and as long as the vendors know you're with the troupe--and it's not working hours--they'll feed you for free."

Never moved toward the small crowd around the stall that Rhyske had been drawn to, eyes flicking over the freshly baked dough as the vendor balled it into servings before dousing it with the syrup. They gestured for Rhyske to follow, adding in a slightly lower tone, "But you could have figured that out yourself if you'd just asked. I know it's scary, and probably a hard idea to get used to, but little mistakes like that aren't life or death here. They just...help you learn. Worst that could have happened is you realize you can't pay, apologize, and move on, right?"

[Paladienne]

Rhyske blinked as Never talked, uncertain about them. They were definitely older than he was, and yet they weren't quite treating him like a kid, despite the moniker they had called Rhyske by. Rather, it was like Never was treating him like a little sibling, slipping easily into the role of a teacher and trying to guide Rhyske down the right path, the path Rhyske hadn't even thought to walk down because surviving was all he had ever done with his short life. He flushed, feeling his cheeks warm with embarrassment. He averted his gaze from Never and looked at the tops of his boots. Was he feeling ashamed? Perhaps a little. Rhyske hadn't ever really felt ashamed before in his life. He'd felt guilty, which wasn't quite the same thing in his book. It was a strange feeling to be admonished by someone who could be his older sibling when he hadn't even really asked for an older sibling.

Rhyske listened to what Never said about money, but he still wasn't convinced. Sure, it sounded great, and sounded like a good deal, but until he experienced it for himself, he wasn't going to believe it. Still, he didn't stop Never from going over to the stall and followed when he was indicated to. He glanced at Never's face, and like all the times before, he was unable to clearly get a read on their expression. It was like a strange shimmering veil was in front of their face, obscuring their features. But their tone of voice told him everything he needed to know what Never was trying to convey. He dropped his gaze again and thought about his response for a moment.

"I've made plenty of mistakes," Rhyske said finally, quietly, finally raising his gaze. "That's how I ended up here, after all. And ended up with a number of broken bones, cuts, bruises, and other injuries across my entire lifetime." He lifted his shoulders and shrugged. "It isn't like I'm not used to any of it."

[DragonSong]

Never's lips twitched, a hint of a frown, before their expression smoothed out again.

"I'm sure you have," they murmured softly. "Which is why I'm telling ya it's okay here. I know out in the world mistakes get you hurt, maybe worse--so it's hard to unlearn that caution. But if might do ya some good."

The crowd around them fluctuated slightly, shifting them toward the vendor, and they raised two fingers to indicate they wanted two plates. The man behind the cart grinned and nodded, holding up five fingers in return. Five minute wait.

"How old are you anyway, Rhyske?" Never asked abruptly, stepping to the side to let the gaggle of performers swarm the food cart.

[Paladienne]

"How old am I?" The question threw Rhyske for a moment. How was he supposed to answer that when he didn't even know the right answer for himself? Based on his physical looks, he seemed to be the same age as Addie, maybe a little older. But he had never counted the years, never had kept track of them, and hadn't bothered, since it had only been him and his mother, and she hadn't exactly been forthcoming about information about the day of his birth. "I... I don't know. Fifteen? Sixteen?" His shoulders lifted and fell in a shrug. "It's not important anyway. It doesn't matter how old I am, right?"

He looked up at Never, frowning slightly. "Why do you want to know, anyway? How old do you think I am?"

[DragonSong]

"Just makin' conversation, really," Never replied with a shrug. Smiling, they added, "I dunno, you look about that age. You met Addie, right? She doesn't get to spend time with many people around her age, you might be good for her."

They leaned back a bit more heavily on one heel and propped their fists on their hips. "I guess it's not all that important really, but it might change the Ringmaster's plans, depending. We've got jobs around here that he kinda sets an age limit for, y'know?"

They glanced sidelong at him and added with a soft glint to their eyes, "Also...well. I mean, you are a kid, really. You shouldn't have to be so uptight around here."

[Paladienne]

Rhyske looked up at Never with a suspicious expression for a minute, trying to decide if they were making fun of him or not. Figuring starting a fight over something that really wasn't important was foolish, he just blew out a breath and folded his arms over his chest, looking down at the tops of his boots.

"I mean... I don't know when I was born. Just that... one day I was in the world. And one day I began to understand things." He fell silent for a moment. "And then one day I was the one taking care of me and my mother. It wasn't like I actually got to be a kid, you know? I don't remember a moment when I wasn't trying to survive to the next day. When I was actually able to play and have friends."

Really, Rhyske didn't know what it was like to be a kid anyway. His childhood had been trying to survive from one place to the next, taking care of his mother, and trying to survive in a world that sought to end him. Even his mother had had moments where she'd tried to kill him, screaming incoherently as she tried to choke the life out of him. He'd survived that, barely, somehow. And though he could have left her, though he could have struck out on his own and survived, something kept him by her side. He didn't know what it was. Love, maybe. Obligation? He didn't know. Perhaps he was just afraid to be alone.

He sighed again and looked up at Never through the black bangs of his hair. "And I don't know what you mean about being uptight. I'm just... being me."

[DragonSong]

"See, that's the thing." Never cocked their head at him, eyes soft but mouth a tight line. "I don't think you are. I don't think you even know who you is, kiddo."

There was something in their voice that was almost...familiar. As though they were speaking from experience more than anything else. They kept their voice low so the bustling performers around them wouldn't overhear, but every word was crisp and clear. "I think you've spent your whole life surviving, and you never had the chance to figure out who you actually are. So you just had to be what everyone around you wanted you to be, for your own sake and for theirs."

"Hey, Nev! Soup's on!"

They turned to grin at the cake vendor, taking the offered portions with a wink and a chirped, "Thanks, Caz!"

Shoving one of the snacks into Rhyske's hands, Never turned and started leading him back through the maze of vendors toward the Big Top. Speaking softly again, they murmured, "Take it from someone who's been there, kid--this is a really good place to figure out exactly who you are."

[Paladienne]

Rhyske stared at Never for a long while, before his cheeks flushed and he looked down at the food in his hands. They looked good. They smelled sweet and fresh, and there was still steam lifting off the surface of the cakes from the dark syrup that had been drizzled atop them. He took a tentative bite and chewed, swallowing quickly as the heat burned the roof of his mouth and his tongue. They were delicious! Rhyske blew on the cakes as he followed Never toward the Big Top, his eyes darting around to the different vendors, taking in all the sights. Most were food vendors, selling their treats to the circus performers or workers, but there were a few setting up gaming booths and tables, and setting out their prizes, arranging them in certain configurations that meant nothing to Rhyske but clearly meant something to the owners of those stands.

Never sounded so sure of themself, speaking their words with unfathomable certainty. Rhyske himself wasn't so sure. He'd been alive for a number of years, exactly how many he didn't know because he didn't keep count, and his experiences had shown him exactly what he could and couldn't do. There were things he simply wasn't capable of, and it wasn't because he was too young or too inexperienced or too weak. He just simply wasn't able to do anything about what he wasn't able to do. And he accepted that. But so long as he was alive, so long as he kept learning about his boundaries and what he could and couldn't bend, break, or cross, then Rhyske felt his existence was worth something, even if no one else valued him. And really, he'd never come across anyone who valued him. At least, not beyond seeing him as a way to advance their own agenda or to see what kind of work they could get out of him without needing to split any kind of reward with him.

Of course, it wasn't like Rhyske himself was a saint. He used people just as much as he was used. But he did his best not to exploit those weaker than himself, and he did his best not to steal from those who didn't have enough to eat.
Now, though, he didn't have to worry about any of that. So...

Maybe Never was right.

That didn't mean Rhyske believed him, though. After all, he'd only been part of this circus for a day, and this was his first real day of work. Things could change. The veil of promises could very quickly be ripped out from before his eyes and the truth could rear its ugly head.

Rhyske shook his head and took another bite of the cake, chewing slowly so all the flavors of the food washed over his tongue. There was no point in worry about what could be until it was right in front of his face. No sense in worrying about what hadn't happened yet. When it did happen, he'd deal with it then, but right now, Rhyske decided to focus on stuffing his face with the food Never had been nice enough to get him.

"Does anyone ever really figure out who they really are?" Rhyske asked Never once he'd swallowed his latest and last bite. He licked the syrup from his fingers and jogged to keep up with the other's longer legs. ...Did they really have longer legs? Rhyske wasn't sure, but he definitely had to lengthen his own stride to keep up. "I mean, no one's the same today as they were yesterday."

[DragonSong]

Never snorted quietly, pausing a moment to let him catch up before continuing on their way toward the Big Top. "Kid, you have no idea," they muttered under their breath.

They reached the open entrance to the Big Top quickly enough, exchanging nods and smiles and a few shouted greetings with the vendors and other performers as the circus finished up most of their morning preparations. Once they'd reached the massive tent they slowed a bit, taking a quick look around the dimmer interior, before nodding to themselves and beckoning for Rhyske to come with them inside.

A little over a dozen performers milled about inside the tent itself, warming up, chatting, cleaning and arranging the clusters of seats and stands so that they were ready for the show that evening. For a moment, Adelaide could be seen dusting chalk over her palms and the soles of her feet, then she backed up a few paces before running forward and springing into a graceful front handspring. Elea and Myst were with a group of other musicians, seemingly tuning and warming up their instruments while they chattered and laughed among themselves.

The Ringmaster stood in the center of the organized chaos, calling orders and jokes in equal measure, pausing every so often to talk with a circus member who approached with a question or update, then returning to crafting witchlights between his palms and sending them out to bob around the top of the tent or examining props and set pieces to make sure everything was in working order.

"Ah, Rhyske!" Viserian called before he'd even turned to look at them, though when he did there was a smile on his face. Despite the hectic manner he'd been darting around the tent, taking care of things, he was still dressed impeccably: there wasn't so much as a speck of dust on his neatly tailored coat. "Excellent, you're here. I trust you had a pleasant night?" Without actually waiting for him to respond, he looked to Never and dipped his head to them slightly. "Thanks for bringing him here. You both get something to eat?"

"Sir, yes, sir." Never smiled crookedly and gave him a jaunty little mock salute. Their eyes flickered around the tent before lighting on a middle aged woman with gently pointed ears and an eye patch who was juggling a set of brightly painted pins--the same woman Viserian raised a hand and beckoned with a call of, "Dorothea! Could I borrow you a moment?"

"Sure, boss!" The woman tossed her last pin, caught it neatly under an arm, and strode toward them, looking around at the group curiously. "Whatcha need?"

"Have you met our newest talent?" The Ringmaster gestured toward Rhyske. Never took that as their cue to leave, starting to back away subtly, but not before they gave Rhyske a light, affectionate nudge with their shoulder as they passed.

To Rhyske, Viserian added, "This here is Dorothea, one of our best sleight-of-hand performers. Been here almost as long as I have."

Dorothea snorted. "Well that's a bald-faced lie," she chuckled. "No one's done anything long as you have, Vis."

The Ringmaster smirked. "I did say almost."

[Paladienne]

Rhyske blinked, looking between Viserian and the woman, Dorothea. He felt the nudge against his shoulder from Never, and gave them a quick nod and a soft thanks. Although, if he had to admit it, he thought he'd be more comfortable if Never stuck around. But it wasn't Never's job to babysit him, only take him from point A to point B, and now that he'd been delivered to Viserian as ordered, Never's job was complete. But he still didn't know exactly what Viserian wanted him to do, or why he'd had Never bring Rhyske here.

Looking up at Dorothea, Rhyske wondered if he offered his hand, would it come back with all his fingers attached to the end of it. He didn't know why Viserian had brought her over, except for the fact that she was the best at slight of hand, which was something that Rhyske himself was good at. Was he supposed to become her apprentice or something? Was Viserian going to suggest that Dorothea teach him?

Well, there was one way to find out, really.

"Hi," Rhsyke said, lifting his hand in a little wave as he gave Dorothea a small smile. "I guess, I'm the new talent. I'm Rhyske. It's nice to meet you."

[DragonSong]

Dorothea grinned at him crookedly and returned his wave by reaching out to take his hand and give it a firm shake. "Nice to meet ya too, lad." She looked to Viserian, quirking an eyebrow. "Lemme guess: you expect me to teach him?"

The Ringmaster shrugged and grinned. "If you're both amiable to the idea. You know me, Thea, I'm not gonna force anyone into anything. But, I don't expect you'll actually have to teach him all that much. He seems like he knows more than just the basics, you just have to show him how to use it to wow the crowd."

"Really?" Dorothea looked Rhyske up and down, considering. She bent to place her juggling pins on the ground, eyes skin on the young man. "Hmm... Well, let's start with you tellin' me what you can do then. How about--"

Someone screamed, and all attention under the Big Top suddenly wrenched around toward the high-wire.

"ADDIE!"



Adelaide had never really liked working the tightrope all that much. She preferred the trapeze, which really was a very different skill set. But Da has asked her to give it a try after her warm-ups that morning, and she supposed it wasn't the worst idea. She could walk the thing fine, but anything much more advanced than that was about a fifty-fifty shot--if she could even learn one or two tricks before they moved locations again, she might be able to work a new angle into her act.

Besides, it wasn't that high. Not really. As high as the trapeze, and she did that every night. Plus she had the net; sure, she might end up with some bruises, but there were plenty of healers in the troupe that she could go to about that.

Brushing her hair back behind her ear with one hand and gripping the railing of her platform with the other, she glanced down and swallowed thickly. Alright, even if she did screw up, it's not like there was anyone here who would laugh at her. Snake, who'd recovered enough to sit in on morning practice, might tease her a bit, but she knew he always meant well. Not a big enough crowd for her to worry about really anything else, right?

Taking a deep breath, she stepped out onto the wire, bottom lip clamped firmly between her teeth. She just had to do it. One cartwheel, that's all she was going for today. No second guess, Addie, just go for it.

Her eyes flicked down again as she raised her arms, back arching in a graceful curve. She started to pitch herself forward, and the moment she did she thought she saw...

Wait. Who was that?

A stranger, someone she didn't recognize, cloaked and sort of lurking in the shadows under the tent. But that--that was impossible. Wasn't it? No one but the troupe should be here, why on earth--

He was gone.

As she tried to fully process what she'd Seen, her hands fell to the rope, gripping as she followed through with the momentum and kicked her legs up to complete the cartwheel.

The rope snapped.



It was Addie who screamed, who drew everyone's attention as she plummeted from the broken tightrope toward the safety net stretched out below it.

It was the Ringmaster who shouted her name, already running as her body hit the net and it gave way.

Adelaide hit the ground with a sort of sickening finality and a CRACK that almost seemed to echo, even in the tent.

[Paladienne]

The scream rang in Rhyske's ears.

Addie's name, being yelled over and over and over again.

It really wasn't being screamed over and over again, just echoing inside his ears. Addie...! Addie...! Addie...!

Rhyske didn't see what actually had happened. One minute, he was talking with Dorothea and Viserian, and the next, Viserian was bolting toward the other end of the big tent, and Dorothea was frozen to her spot, and Rhyske was confused as all hell. And then, seconds later, he saw her. Addie. She was falling, falling far too fast for anyone to stop, far too fast to be caught. He saw a snapped swinging rope. He saw a flurry of activity as the tent burst into movement so chaotic Rhyske felt that he was a rock standing in a turbulent sea, the waves crashing around him without him even noticing. And then...

And then...

He saw Addie's body hit the floor with bone-breaking force. He saw her crumple like a dropped towel, her body almost crunching in on itself as she landed. It was like watching a dream - everything was happening so slow, with so much clarity, that Rhyske thought he actually saw Addie's body crumple in on itself when she hit the ground, that he thought he saw her bones shattering with the impact, almost accordion-like as she fell flat to the floor. Then his view of her was cut off as a crowd formed around her and Viserian.

But, somehow, he could see Addie's blood pooling on the ground beneath her.

His body was moving before he'd even told it to. He didn't even register picking up speed until he was running, his hearts hammering in his chest. He felt cold all over, as if he'd taken a bath in icy river water. She couldn't be dead. She couldn't be dead! She couldn't!

"Addie!" Rhyske cried, though his voice was drowned out by all the other voices crying and screaming and asking questions. "Add-!"

His shoulder hit something hard and he spun to one side, his entire world suddenly upending from the force of the contact. His eyes turned upwards even as his backside hit the floor, and he stared at the tall man dressed entirely in black that had stepped into his path. The man looked down at him, his black eyes staring at Rhyske through long black hair. He stood with his hands in his pants pockets, completely nonchalant, as if Rhyske meant nothing to him. As if the impact had meant nothing to him. Rhyske stared at that pale face and those black, black, soulless eyes, and a shiver ran through him.

Then the crowd shifted, moving like a wave on the ocean, and Rhyske's view of the man. Rhyske pushed himself to his feet, but by the time he was able to look around for the man, he'd vanished. Sucking in deep breath, Rhyske took an uncertain step backwards and scanned the crowd, looking for the man he'd run into. Where had he gone? Who was he? Sure, Rhyske didn't know everyone in the circus, but he was certain if the man had been someone important, Viserian would've introduced him. Wouldn't he?

Rhyske shook his head. It didn't matter. What mattered was his friend.

Pushing the thought and the matter of the strange man out of his mind, Rhyske pushed his way through the crowd until he was at the front, staring down at the body of Addie and of the Ringmaster, bent over her, his hands hovering over her broken frame. Rhyske knelt by Addie's head on the other side of Viserian, and his hands curled into fists against his knees.

"Addie..." Rhyske whispered. "Addie, hold on... please..."

[DragonSong]

She was breathing. Barely, but she was breathing.

"The healers, get the healers!"

"Oh gods, Addie..."

"What happened?!"

"Did anyone see--?"

"Back up, give them room!"

Viserian didn't seem to notice the chaos around them as he knelt over his daughter's body, hands hovering just over her chest, eyes shut tight and jaw clenched in tense concentration. A faint, pulsing lavender glow spilled from his palms and washed over the girl's body.

It wasn't healing magic, unfortunately that had never been one of the Ringmaster's gifts, but it should keep her on this side of the Veil, lock her in a sort of stasis until...until...

Viserian put one hand firmly over his mouth, eyes locked on Adelaide's face as the magic settled over her like a second skin and the faint, jerky rise and fall of her chest stilled, a choking breath caught in her throat. That was alright, that was what was supposed to happen, she wasn't dead, she wasn't dead...

The crowd that had gathered around them was quiet now, every one of them either staring at Addie or her father, horror and grief and panic etched on their faces.

Not a single one of them had ever seen the Ringmaster weep before.

Slowly, out of the crowd, a lanky, angled figure moved forward, then knelt beside Viserian, grasping his shoulder tightly. "They can still help her," Snake whispered, his voice a low rasp. He wasn't--he couldn't look at her, couldn't see her like this. "You've got her frozen, right? The healers can still help..."

Viserian nodded slowly, eyes still on his daughter's face. He hardly seemed to notice the presence of the others around him, attention entirely fixated on Addie.

Then, abruptly, his head jerked up and his eyes snapped to Rhyske's, as though he'd been looking for him, waiting for him. "You," he whispered roughly, almost desperately. "You. I need--"

The healers arrived before he could finish. Elea had run to fetch them, and she was panting as she raced into the tent behind two women and a man, all of whom wore a badge with an embroidered feverfew leaf stitched onto their clothing. The young woman was clearly sobbing, though she managed to keep the sound muffled against her husband's shoulder as Myst suddenly appeared at her side and drew her into his chest, pressing his cheek to her hair with his eyes tight shut.

Whatever Viserian had been going to say to the young elf was forgotten as the healers ordered the crowd back, one of the women and the man kneeling to either side of Addie's body while the other woman ordered that someone bring a stretcher, saying something about Viserian's stasis spell allowing them to move Addie to the healers' tent.

In the sudden flurry of movement, the crowd began to break up, just about everyone wanting to help but no one sure how.

"Kid." A pale hand clamped down on Rhyske's shoulder. Snake loomed over him, expression ragged, and jerked his head to the entrance of the tent. "C'mon. We're gonna take a walk, okay?"

[Paladienne]

"B-but... but Addie..." Rhyske didn't look toward Snake when the man loomed over him, his gaze still on Addie - or at least her hidden form behind the healers and the Ringmaster. He couldn't see her, but he couldn't get the image of her broken and bloody on the ground out of his head. He couldn't stop seeing her broken bones, the light fading from her eyes, the way her mouth was slightly open, as if still in the midst of her scream. Finally, Rhyske slowly turned his head toward Snake, uncertain of his own expression. Was it shock? Fear? He didn't know. He didn't know what he himself was feeling in that moment. He couldn't process it. "Is she...?"

He couldn't finish his sentence.

Rhyske was no stranger to death. He'd seen it plenty growing up. Whether it was the beggar beside him starving, the orphan freezing in the cold, or someone who was the victim of an unfortunate fate, Rhyske had seen death. But it had never affected him. It had never bothered him, because he'd had no attachment to those people. They were just nameless faces in the crowd, people he'd climbed over just so he could survive. So his mother could survive. They didn't mean anything.

But Addie... Addie was known to him. He knew her. Not very well - they couldn't even really call themselves friends, after all, although they had spent a good deal of time together since his arrival here - but she wasn't a nameless face. She was Addie.

His vision blurred as he stared at Snake's face, the pale man's visage wobbling as the tears rose and began to fall. Rhyske lifted his fingers to his face as if he couldn't quite believe he was crying, staring at Snake as if the man had all the answers he was looking for. Rhyske didn't know what to say to Snake to get the man to talk. Really, all he could do was let the man steer him out of the big tent and away from the crowd.

His feet felt leaden. His hearts felt heavy, beating strangely within his chest. His skin was both cold and hot. Rhyske wrapped his arms around himself and let his head fall forward, using his hair as a shield to keep anyone from seeing his face. But he knew Snake could feel the shaking of his shoulders, could feel the tenseness of his body, and he knew that sooner or later, the silence between them would be broken. Rhyske just didn't know when that would happen.

So he plodded along quietly, allowing Snake to direct him wherever the man wanted him to go, and Rhyske was blind to the rest of the world, seeing the path under his boots but nothing else.

[DragonSong]

Snake swallowed thickly at the stammered, unfinished question, closing his eyes for a moment and shaking his head--not in answer, almost in denial.

"Just...c'mon," the contortionist muttered softly, his hand on Rhyske's shoulder moving so he had an arm wrapped around the teenager's shoulders instead as he steered him away from the chaos surrounding Addie and her father, back toward the entrance of the tent.

A few of the others seemed to have realized what he had--that crowding around and wailing wasn't going to do anyone any good. Those who could help were doing so, and those that couldn't began to drift away. Never alone, they walked in pairs or small groups, most clinging to each other, some crying quietly while others seemed to be trapped in a state of shock.

Snake ignored them, leading Rhyske out of the Big Top and back through the grounds, curving around the personal tents and into the trees that surrounded their campsite, where he finally stopped. He was shaking slightly, though he didn't realize it, and lifted one hand to drag down over his face.

"She's not dead," he finally managed to rasp out, voice even rougher than normal, red-gold eyes over bright. He dropped his gaze down to Rhyske and swallowed again. His hand had slipped back to rest lightly on the boy's shoulder, almost as though he didn't quite know what else to do with it.

He shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, kid, I don't... I don't know what to do."

His back fetched up against the rough bark of a tree and it was only then that he realized he'd sort of slumped backward, his body just refusing to hold him upright anymore. Snake tipped his head back, eyes closed and jaw tight, one hand curled into a fist by his side while the other still rested lightly, hesitantly on Rhsyke's shoulder.

Without thinking he pulled the kid in against his side, the same "big brother" instincts that had so endeared him to Addie--and she to him--rising up despite his apparent lack of attention to it. Arm around Rhyske's shoulders again in a sort of half-hug, he forced himself not to just sink down onto the grass and break down.

Vaguely, Snake realized that he'd brought the kid out here as much for his own sake as for Rhsyke's. The newcomer needed guidance, and he needed someone counting on him so he didn't just fall apart. "I don't know what to do," he repeated quietly, staring blindly up through the branches above them.

[Paladienne]

Rhsyke didn't seem to be aware of Snake's sudden disappearance at his side. Rather, the boy was staring off into some distance, tears still breaking in his eyes and trailing down his face. By the time he realized Snake was no longer beside him, Snake had grabbed hold of his shoulder and had pulled him against him, and he felt the man shaking as he cried. Together they sank down and sat in the grass and Rhyske just listened to Snake cry.

It was like Rhyske's mind was blank. Like he couldn't form a thought at all. He couldn't think, couldn't do more than sit there beside Snake, in the comfort of the man's embrace, and stare. He couldn't even respond to Snake's whimpered words, because he couldn't even seem to form his own. What could he possibly say to Snake? It wasn't like Rhsyke had the answers. He didn't know what to do, either. He'd barely been at the circus for forty-eight hours, and he'd only just begun to learn what he was supposed to do here. And now, in that short span, he was adrift again, lost amid the turbulent sea of emotions that filled the air and the circus. He couldn't make sense of his own feelings. Addie had been so nice to him, even when she'd been acting like a little brat, and had made him feel welcome. She'd been his first friend, aside from Snake. His only friend, aside from Snake.

And now... now she was gone. Or would be gone.

What could the healers do for her, really? What could they do for her except keep her comfortable and ease her passing? Rhyske wasn't stupid. He knew what those kinds of injuries meant. What the loss of that much blood meant. The fact that Addie was barely hanging on by a thread was a testament to her determination, but even if she came back from this, somehow, by a miracle, she'd never be the same. Would she even still be Addie? What if she survived but couldn't talk? Couldn't communicate? What if she no longer had the use of her legs? Her arms? Her entire body? What if she was just stuck? What if she really wasn't even Addie anymore?

Rhyske closed his eyes and buried his face against Snake's shoulder.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd been held like this. Sure, the circumstances weren't the best, and he supposed thinking weird thoughts during times like this were normal. Were they? He didn't know. Didn't much care. Snake's arm was around him, hugging him and comforting him as much as holding on tight to him for the man's own need and comfort. That was the only thing that mattered. Right? Again, Rhyske didn't know. And what did it matter, anyway? There was a miasma of sorrow hanging over the entire area, and Rhyske was sure there were plenty of other people seeking comfort in whatever way they could, with whomever they could. He doubted anyone would sleep tonight. He doubted anyone would do anything until they knew for sure which way Addie would go.

Finally, Rhyske opened his eyes and shifted slightly away from Snake. He didn't shrug the man's arm off his shoulder, but rather shifted so he was sitting against the tree himself, rather than sitting against Snake. The position was a familiar one for Rhyske, but under different circumstances. The person with their arm around his shoulder at that time had been his mother. And it had been raining. And he had been trying to find them shelter from a quickly forming rainstorm. Two different instances, two different meanings behind the hold, but Rhyske was sure the feelings shared between the two moments were similar.

He picked a blade of grass and held it between both his thumbs. Then he brought his thumbs and the blade of grass between them to his lips and blew, creating a high-pitched warbling noise. He wasn't sure why he was doing this, but it was something he remembered someone teaching him to do when he was unsure about his path and which direction he should go. When he couldn't think of anything else to do or say. Over and over, Rhyske blew air through the small hole his thumbs created, making the blade of grass vibrate and fill the air with the warbling notes.

Then he lowered his hands slightly, and he stared at the sky. "She'll be okay." he said, his voice barely higher than a whisper. "She'll be just fine. She's got the Ringmaster with her, and all the healers. And anyone else who can help. They'll help her. They'll fix her."

If he said it enough, maybe it would come true. Rhyske had never prayed before, had never believed in gods or anything of a higher power, but he found that he was more inclined to do so now than he ever had been before.

[DragonSong]

"Alright, kid." Snake tightened his arm around the boy's shoulders slightly when Rhyske turned his face into his shoulder. "I've got ya. It's--it's okay."

It wasn't, but that was what he was supposed to say, right?

He sighed quietly and let his arm drop a bit when the boy leaned forward to pluck a blade of grass, still keeping a comforting weight around his shoulders but not holding him quite so tightly anymore. He dragged his other hand down his face again, hopefully obscuring the few tears he hadn't been able to keep back.

Despite himself, despite everything, a tiny smile twitched at one corner of his lips when he heard Rhyske blow that warbling note along the blade of grass. The sound seemed to hang in the air around them, heavier than it should be, though that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

Snake just listened while the boy spoke. "Yeah," he murmured a few moments after Rhyske went silent again. "Yeah, they will. It'll...all be fine."

More silence.

He wasn't actually entirely sure how long he just sat there, his arm now loosely around Rhyske's side, still holding the kid against him in a strange and rather useless attempt at protection--as though it was going to make any difference.

"...Think you're ready to head back?" he finally asked into the deafening quiet. "You, ah...should you tell your mother? We won't have a show tonight, we might close the grounds entirely..."

[Paladienne]

Rhyske wasn't sure what to say to Snake as the man spoke, or as the man hugged him, or as they just sat there in silence. His eyes shifted to the pale hand that was loosely wrapped around his side, studying the way Snake's fingers were slightly curled, the way his thumb just kinda hung there, not doing anything. He studied the way the man's arm curled just slightly around the elbow, not quite tense but not quite relaxed, either. Rhyske figured there was some significance in the hold, but it was lost on him. He'd never really been held since he'd been able to walk on his own. His mother hadn't really given him that sort of affection once he'd been able to take care of himself. Of course, she'd deteriorated rapidly as he'd grown, so he supposed her lack of affection stemmed from that. Not that it really mattered. She'd given him enough to get him to this point, and now it was his turn to repay it.

"Huh?" Rhyske asked absently, having heard Snake's voice but not comprehending the words that had been said. "Oh, yeah, I guess."

The words were meant to answer both of Snake's questions. He doubted that his mother would really care one way or another. It depended on what state she was in. If she was lucid, she might actually have an opinion. If she was insensate, then it really wouldn't matter what Rhyske told her, because it would simply fall on deaf ears.

After a minute, Rhyske pushed himself to his feet and rose, dropping the blade of grass back to the earth. He watched it flutter down, and then land upon the ground, nestling its way between its surviving siblings. He scrubbed at his face and then turned his attention to the sky, taking a deep breath.

"Yeah, let's go back."