It Figures

[Volker]

Joseph had been drinking. Heavily. He'd gone to the port town to forget some of his worries, and drink away some of his anxiety. One glass of rum had turned into fruit juice mixed with rum, turned into a few bottles, turned into him waking up far away from the city on his back on the sand. It was the smell of the surf and the incoming tide tickling his toes that had awoken him. He shot straight up, brown eyes popping open. What the hell had happened? He groaned and flopped over onto his side. He only weighed about a hundred pounds soaking wet; drinking literal bottles was probably the worst idea. He never could help himself when it came to alcohol. The sweetened muscle relaxers did wonders for his crippled leg.

Speaking of, how the hell did he get so far down the beach?

He glanced around. Where was the port? Where were the boats? Fuck, where were the people? He swore and struggled to rise. He had a hell of a time getting balance on one bad leg and no traction. He slipped and fell, swearing and snarling. It was hot, the sea was starting to crawl closer, and he had no idea where he was. "Gods fucking dammit..." he snarled.

[Icy]

A few meters above the waters of the sea rose a figure with large, flapping wings with some sort of board strapped to their feet. Seeming to take an interest in something below the waves, they clutched tightly a makeshift spear with the skull of a marlin as its point, and suddenly, the person ceased floating.

Dropping down right into the crest of a large wave, their board smoothly and expertly threaded inside the wave as they sent their spear into the water with a quick thrust and a grunt. Still moving quickly along the wave, they let out a cheer when the spear was pulled out, now with two large, colorful fish impaled upon it, flipping about wildly in their ceaseless attempts to be freed. Seemingly satisfied with their work for the moment, the figure continued to ride the large wave down the coastline, until finally, they noticed something moving on the shore... a person?

Now choosing to ride the wave inland, the person weaved their board along the wave to more more quickly until finally reaching the shore. They slid their feet from the straps that held them to the board, setting down the spear with the fish still impaled atop it, and ran over to the very out of place man, dropping to their knees as they approached.

"Maikaʻi paha 'oe?" The person asked, in a voice that sounded more feminine than masculine. Surely, the way they looked wouldn't quite help Joseph discern their gender, either. With short, black hair with natural streaks of blonde throughout; black and earthy-red, textured tattoos that covered their face, chest, arms, and legs; their slim, nearly flat chest, and the skirt woven from the large leaves of trees that could be found throughout the island, they looked almost perfectly androgynous. "Mai mamao akuʻoe i ke kauhale! Nānā iāʻoe i nā ale?" The person watched Joseph with deep concern, looking over his body for any wounds, especially at the leg he'd been unable to stand on previously.

[Volker]

Joseph might have expected help coming from any other direction. Up or down the beach, maybe someone in the woods spotting him flailing around on the sand trying to get a bum leg to support him. He definitely didn't expect the ocean. He stared as he watched a figure in the waves spear fish....and then make for him with that same terrifying weapon. Joseph really didn't have anything to defend himself with. He bristled as the other man approached. Oh, he was sure it was a man. Until it spoke, anyway. Shedding the spear and dropping to his knees seemed to communicate some sense of emergency. Did it think he was hurt or something?Just his skull, really. His head was pounding from the hangover.

The gibberish wasn't helping. He slapped the other's hands away from his leg. "Get off me!" he snapped. "I can get up by myself. This is fucking permanent." he pointed at his brace, then planted his hands in the sand and made an effort to get up. He struggled to his feet and straightened up to his full...less than five foot height. Joseph was short, and the fact that he weighed less than most tuna catches made him look even smaller. "See? I'm fucking fine....weird beach beauty." He didn't know the other's name.

He tried to take a step, and slipped again. He slammed down hard on his back this time, wincing and groaning. "How the fuck am I able to do this drunk?" he demanded angrily at the sky.

[Icy]

Kaihe clutched their hands against their own chest as Joseph hit them away, a disappointed frown forming on the maha's lips. "Um... ʻO wau wale nō e ho'āʻo nei e kōkua..." Their voice trailed off before it was cleared. "Kaihe... help... ill... kanaka," They said with a small smile to try to reassure the man.

When Joseph rose, so did Kaihe, who nearly dwarfed the man, being more than nine inches taller than him. When he spoke more words to the maha, they looked visibly confused, knowing only the very basics of the trader's tongue. "Come.. village? F-Foods. Rest... he wawae," They pointed to Joseph's lame leg. Expecting that he'd come along, Kaihe hurried back over to where their spear and surfboard were, lifting the former into the air so the dying fish wouldn't fall off while the latter was held under the maha's arm.

Hurrying back over to Joseph, Kaihe stepped close to Joseph's side, offering their own body in case Joseph needed something to grab onto for support. "Is... there," Kaihe pointed the tip of their spear toward the south along the shoreline, indicating that was where the village they spoke of was. While they were by no means aggressive, Kaihe didn't seem to want to take 'no' for an answer from the seemingly injured man, and the language barrier certainly didn't help the situation.

[Volker]

Joseph sat up again and made an effort to get up, trying to maintain some sort of dignity. As the other man walked close to him he shakingly took a step, then had to grab ahold of Kaihe's hips and elbow to stay upright. He couldn't get any traction on the sand, and the more pressure he put on his leg the more it wanted to slid out from under him. He straightened himself, supporting his light weight on Kaihe, and listened to him. His trade tongue was broken. Very broken. But from what he could surmise Kaihe wanted to bring him to a village. "Food and water sounds like a deal. So what, you want to do this behind a tree? No one on the beach." he smirked up at Kaihe. "I don't have any money. So eh..." he made vague gestures that he hoped would communicate what he was willing to pay with.

He sighed and gave up on communication. "Yeah. There." he gestured similarly, indicating he was willing to go. He supposed he'd pay back the other later. He wanted some fried fish, a little beer to nurse away the headache, and maybe a little water. He'd see how the day would play out. "So what, you were fishing on a....what is that?"he pointed at the board Kaihe was carrying.

[Icy]

Seeing that Joseph was having quite a bit of trouble walking, Kaihe closed their eyes and shook their head. Tossing the board further onto the shore so it wouldn't be swept away by the tide, they held the spear out for Joseph to carry instead. Then, Kaihe knelt down and attempted to lift Joseph in their arms, bridal-style, ignoring any complaining that the short man might have dealt out to them.

In bare feet, Kaihe was more easily able to walk across the soft sand than Joseph, and as they began to walk carrying the man, they made better distance than if they were going at Joseph's pace.

Cocking an eyebrow at Joseph's strange gestures, Kaihe replied, "Do... at village. Ma-... Many foods," They nodded. Kaihe's attention now being brought to the board, they replied, "Alaia. Many fun," Their wings shuffled a bit as a warm smile was brought to their face.

"How... here?" The maha asked, motioning with a small tilt of her head to the beach. "Boat.. dead?" They made a crunching noise to emulate the sound of a sinking ship.

[Volker]

Joseph took the spear gingerly, but wasn't expecting to be picked up. "Whoa! Fuck!" he almost dropped the weapon in a frantic bid to grab around Kaihe's neck. "I don't need to be fucking carried...just...put me down and Ill walk." he insisted, though he wasn't in any shape to do so. Repeatedly falling down on his bad leg would just cause more pain later when he tried to relax. "Do at village?" he  raised an eyebrow. "Well to be honest I do prefer a bed and sand gets fucking everywhere. I'll take that deal then."

Kaihe was asking him if he were shipwrecked. Joseph laughed at the idea. "No, no." he shook his head. How to communicate it? "I got drunk. Wandered off." He gestured like he was drinking out of a bottle, then swayed slightly to convey dizziness. "Drinking? Get it?" He gestured dismissively down the beach and settled into Kaihe's arms. It was definitely a more comfortable way to travel, he had to admit.

"I need to get off this damn island. Hey. Do you know a way off. Out there?"he pointed at the sea. "Where land?"

[Icy]

"Bed... good!" Kaihe nodded with a chuckle, even though they were probably talking about two different subjects. "Oh. Drink," They made a glug, glug sound with their throat. "Drink... village. By niu. Okolehao." Judging by their nodding head, it all made sense to Kaihe.

Once Joseph had gotten comfortable in Kaihe's arms, the Yoreiq hugged him close to their chest, giving him an eyeful of the intricate, textured tattoos that adorned the maha's small breasts. "Off... off... uhm... boat?" Kaihe blinked. "Big land.. far, very! Yoreiqi Islands, erm... close. Ah! Boat-kanaka close, make village. Learn trader by boat-kanaka. Kaihe... learn!" Kaihe smiled brightly as they went on a bit of a tangent.

Soon, they were coming up on Kaihe's village. Within eyesight of the village with shoddily made docks and boats that sat in the water, the maha's home seemed to be in a state of disrepair. Several of the huts on stilts appeared to have collapsed from a somewhat recent storm, with children picking up small debris while a few able-bodied adults, both male, female, and in between, salvaged usable materials from the remains to begin building anew. It was an even more primitive village than Ainu and plenty times smaller, bearing a population size of only about thirty in all.

"ʻO nā mea a pau! Pono mākou e kōkua i kēia kanaka, uaʻehaʻo ia!" Kaihe called out as they entered the village, drawing the attention of nearly everybody there. Very quickly, a group formed around Joseph and Kaihe, with people of all ages and genders asking questions, tugging at Joseph's clothing, with some even bringing medical supplies. Kaihe quickly dismissed the crowd with a few lighthearted jokes and requests in their own tongue before handing off her spear to a child and finally bringing Joseph to a secluded hut, where he was set down very carefully on a bed made of leaves. There's no way it was very comfortable, but there was a decent amount of cushioning that'd make it bearable.

After Kaihe let him down, they fell to the floor on their rear, stretching out their arms. "Ah... big, but small," They explained, essentially calling Joseph heavy after he'd been carried for so long.

[Volker]

Joseph sighed and nodded. They seemed to have gotten the general jist of what had happened to Joseph. Kaihe seemed to be communicating quite well despite not knowing the trade tongue, and he was nice. Joseph resolved to try and not take his headache out on the other man, at least for a little while. He owed him. He could have been slipping and sliding on that beach for hours trying to reach solid soil, and by then his leg would have hurt so much it was doubtful he could have gotten back to the town before dark.

"You...learned the trade tongue...by the trader in your village?"Joseph tried to puzzle out. "I eh, good on you." He patted the strong arms holding him. He felt calm by the time they reached the village, but he despised being stared at and picked at like a zoo animal. In fact, while his temper was volatile there were very few things that could send him from complete calm to punching in the space of a few seconds. Included in that was pawing at him and staring like he was an oddity. He shoved away the hands picking at him and made swipes at a few of the more offending ones. "Get the fuck off of me!"he snarled at them. "Get. The. Fuck. Off!"

He liked the hut but was still fuming a little by the time he was set down. Nevermind. It hadn't been too bad...he just...hated being stared at. He ran a hand through his short, dark hair and raked it down. It had a tendency to stick up and had sand in it. He tried to clean himself up a bit. He raised an eyebrow at Kaihe. What the hell did big but small mean? He shrugged and pulled his shirt off. "So what's your poison?" he asked, coming over to Kaihe and sitting in his lap. "Fancy a girl from the village? A guy? I can imitate pretty much anyone."

[Icy]

Kaihe reassured the villagers that Joseph was only feeling cranky before he was brought into the hut. Now that they were alone, with villagers sometimes bringing in medicine, food, and drink as offerings to their new guest, Kaihe tried to communicate a bit better as the man sat in their lap. "G-...Girl? Guy?" They asked. "No. Kaihe," They pointed toward themself. "Kaihe, maha. Not guy, not girl. Am... fisher, hunter, picker, cloth-er. Do lots at village!" They smiled.

"What you? N-...Name?" The maha asked with a small tilt of their head. The language barrier was strong, but Kaihe seemed genuinely interested to learn more about Joseph. Lifting the roasted leg of some bird to their mouth, it was then held in front of Joseph's for him to take a bite.

[Volker]

Oh boy. Well maybe Kaihe wasn't getting what Joseph was trying to communicate as well as he thought. Oh well, he'd offered payment up front and that was what was important to him. Kaihe thought when he talked about sex he was talking about his own gender. Joseph shook his head. "Not what I was talking about but Ill take it. Joseph. And I can be whatever I want to be. Normal mode's male though." he said.

The roast bird leg definitely caught his attention. Okay, cute. He could deal with sitting in someone's lap and being fed meat. He took a big bite of the bird leg and swallowed it. He might as well have been a piranha for how he ate. He smirked at Kaihe and put his mouth around the end of the drumstick. A little twist, and he pulled all of the meat off of the bone with one smooth jerk of his head. He chewed it up, spat out the cartilage, then looked for the rest of the food. He stuffed fruit into his mouth like it was going out of style, eating like a man who'd been starved to death. Fuck, who would have thought after such a bad hangover he'd be so hungry?

When he was finished he tossed the spiny head of a pineapple over one shoulder and leaned into Kaihe. "Alright, your turn." he grinned in a predatory fashion, tapping Kaihe's nose. "Just trust me on this one." his hands dived between Kaihe's legs.

[Icy]

"G-...G... Go-seph. A'ole..." They said as though it was a curse word. "Gjjooseph. Jo-seph!" Finally, Kaihe figured out how to pronounce 'J' sounds! They watched with amusement as Joseph sucked the meat straight off of the bone, a low, "Ooh," releasing from them. Then, the look seemed to become more concerned as the man began to eat like they'd never eaten before. "Kali, kali!" The maha said, taking hold of Joseph's hands to slow them from moving so quickly from the food to his mouth.

Once he was finished eating, Kaihe tilted their head. "Kaihe-!!," They replied simply enough, until a hand was felt in between their legs. "Oh..." A deep blush spilled over Kaihe's cheeks. Despite the eagerness of Joseph's hands, they wouldn't actually find anything between Kaihe's legs, or at least not the parts that he was probably expecting. In short, Kaihe had the body of a female. "Not expect... this happen very quick," They let out a soft chuckle, the maha's hands traveling to the small breasts that sat on their chest, massaging them lightly.

[Volker]

"Hey, hey!" Joseph batted at Kaihe's hands as they tried to get him to slow down. He was hungry, dammit. He wasn't about to slow down just because someone grabbed at him and told him to. If anything he wolfed everything down a little faster. He was a stubborn man, at best. He wanted his food and he'd get it. Besides, he wasn't a rich man and this was apparently free. He would take what he would get. Not only that, but these people clearly knew how to cook. He wiped his mouth and blinked when he griped Kaihe and found...not what he was expecting from such a muscular creature.

"Girl eh?" he cocked an eyebrow. "Guess we freaks have something in common." A blush spread across Kaihe's cheeks and Joseph shrugged. "It's just...payback. You saved me from scrambling up the beach like an idiot and dying of dehydration. So...it's a quid pro quo. I don't have anything else to give you. I hate owing people." He really felt like he was failing to explain this very well at all.

[Icy]

"Pay...back," They repeated his word with a confused look. It was rolled around in Kaihe's mind as they bit their lip lightly. "Not owe. Joseph... guest! Nngh... Kaihe... confuse." The concept of owing something was foreign to Kaihe. The only things their village ever owed was a tax of food and clothes, but never something like sex! "Jo-seph, not owe Kaihe. Not," They stressed, scooting away from the man.

Rising to their feet, Kaihe rested their hands on their hips and looked down at the man. "Jo-seph rest. Feel good at morn-ing. Very much sun, drink," They muttered, implying that they felt Joseph must have had a heatstroke to feel that he owed Kaihe. Unless stopped, the maha made their way toward the door made of strung together leaves to let Joseph rest.

[Volker]

Finally something clicked, but the other didn't seem to get it. Joseph sighed. "Guest yeah. But a guest who's got nothing to help you with." he pointed out. He really didn't like getting dumped on his rear end on the floor of a hut either. He rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not still drunk." he protested. "But fine. If you think of anything. I still think I owe you and it's going to bother me if I fuck off without paying you back somehow. I can't do manual labor unless you want to see me pissed off, you don't want me to fuck you, so what do you want?" Somehow he got the idea this entire conversation was a little over Kaihe's head.

Well fine, he'd take room and board. He downed as much water as the villagers would give him, stuffed himself until he couldn't bear to look at any more food, and collapsed to sleep on the bed of leaves. He'd figure out what Kaihe wanted in the morning.

[Icy]

Kaihe couldn't understand what he was saying, but he sounded angry, so the maha simply left the hut with their head down, disappointed that they had apparently done something wrong. Hopefully, they would figure that out in the morning...

An hour before the sun rose, the leafy door of the guest hut was spread apart for Kaihe to enter. "Jo-seph... wake-up-time," They whispered, lightly shaking the man's shoulder. That day, Kaihe was a bit more modest, wearing an itchy-looking brown sash that crossed over their right breast, with a different leaf skirt and of course, no shoes. Their hair looked a bit messy, like they hadn't yet done it.

Expecting the man to be angry for no reason like Kaihe usually felt he did, they attempted to assuage his annoyance with an offering of island fruits like pineapple and drinks served in the shells of coconuts. "Food! Yum," They rubbed their belly to convince him to eat... not that he'd likely need any convincing, judging by how he reacted to food the previous day.

[Volker]

Joseph woke up to being shaken. He didn't react well. He wasn't used to being woken up like that, and he was in a strange place that he didn't recognize. He changed, quickly. In the time that it took for him to sit up and whip around, he had shifted. A large black panther was in Joseph's place, ears pinned down, lips raised and showing off yellowed canines. Joseph barely had enough time to pull his claws back when he recognized Kaihe. He sat up properly, flicking his ears up and curling his tail around himself. He licked his large, black paw and swept it up over his face. Well, that was embarrassing.

He shifted back, slowly shedding the form of the big cat. "Sorry." he mumbled and took one of the drinks. "Not eh...not used to people waking me up." He looked sheepishly at Kaihe. "Thought of something I can do to repay you yet?"

[Icy]

"AH!" The maha yelped as the panther appeared before them, their arms raised in a cross-shape to try to stave off the imminent doom that was before them. When Kaihe wasn't murdered after a few moments, they lowered their arms and shakily backed away from the man on their rear. They spoke fearfully in Yoraiq before rising to their feet and dusting themself off.

"N-...Not," They spoke in a trembling voice. "No re-pay. Not... owe." Looking down at their feet, they rubbed their hands together and spoke uncertainly. "Not... know do, Joseph. Much far for big land, day for go Ainu. Or meet boat-kanaka, take Joseph. What want?"

[Volker]

Joseph smirked and folded his arms over his chest, getting to his feet. Finally they were getting somewhere. He still needed to learn what a boat-kanaka was. He wasnt sure if he wanted to leave the little vil.age yet. It was so nice here. Free food, beautiful weather, even if it did look like they got hit by the occasional tropical storm. He traced a finger down Kaihes chest. "I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere." Joseph said. "This place is gorgeous. You have enough fresh fruit to feed people for years. People seem happy. So...what's with the boat idea? Do you want to leave?"

Joseph picked up a mango and peeled it with his teeth, biting into the soft fruit with gusto.

[Icy]

Kaihe's eyes closed tightly as Joseph led his finger down Kaihe's chest, the texture of the tattoos plain against his skin as it traced over them. Blushing a bit, Kaihe shook their head. "No want to leave... uhm, not very. Boat-kanaka at water, stay for while. There is..." Kaihe looked down at her fingers, very slowly counting them, before moving to their toes, then back to their fingers, and finally their toes again. "Is forty boat-kanaka at water by village. Have biiiig boat," Kaihe stressed, stretching their arms out wide. "Boat-kanaka take Joseph home if Joseph want!" The maha smiled.

"So... meet boat-kanaka? Is good people. Teach Kaihe trader!" They nodded.