Wing Walker

[Anonymous]

He is nervous… She knew the moment he hesitated to hold her. Valeska was about to reprimand him for not heeding her order, but she knew this was not the time. Valeska waited patiently for his answer

Valerik?

She lifted her head and rose slightly, placing her weight on hands, and looked into Veguards eyes. Her own were surprised at first, then confused, until finally deciding on a calculating look.

Angry at…Valerik? But they’ve never met…is it because his death caused me pain? Or because Valeriks memory hinders my relationship with him…not THAT kind of relationship! Bad thoughts…wait…could he be…jealous? How could he be? He has yet to know such other basic emotions…though…you don’t really need much to be jealous of someone…but Veguard doesn’t love me…no it must be because my devotion causes me to be uneasy around him at times…

“It’s alright,� she gave a gentle smile. Valeska reached over to him, she stopped for a moment, but finally settled her hand on the side of his face and stroked his cheek. “They are your feelings now, as it is obvious I have no control over them. Your reasons, you may keep to yourself if you wish. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to change,� she grinned and winked at him. “No peeking,� she turned his head to the side and opened her pack.

[Anonymous]

As she shifted off of him, he looked away. She must be mad...She should be mad. He shouldn't have such horrible thoughts about her important person. Besides, it wasn't fair for him to hate someone he had never met...
Right?

He glanced up at her timidly, only to find she was staring into his eyes rather intensely. He couldn't fathom what might be going through her head at that time, though he could see that she did not seem angry with him. Strange...
His surprise was pure and complete when she so easily forgave him, a smile gracing her features. She truly harbored no ill feelings for him...
He was glad for the gentle touch along his face, but was still frowning lightly at his own feelings.
She was being so understanding...

He allowed his head to be turned away, but made no effort to sit up. "You do not wish to know the reason...?" He ventured, surprised she did not show more interest in why he would say he felt hatred and anger toward her Valerik. Perhaps she didn't care? Or maybe she already knew? Were either of those possibilities...possible?

Veguard had the feeling that this emotion would trouble him far longer than the last.

[Anonymous]

Valeska sighed. Oh dear, why can’t he just leave it be? She took off the dress and put on her other white shirt and blue pants, I’ll never were a dress in the woods again…

“No. If you wish to tell me I will listen, but I will not pry it out of you.� She turned to him after putting on her boots again, poking his cheek to get his attention. Valeska was now ready to move on, “what we should really be worrying about is how to avoid something like that� She nodded her head in the direction of the vines that had nearly killed her.

She thought for a moment. Well, even being so close to each other something happened…Veguard cannot be a few paces back. Oh!

Valeska turned to him. “Why don’t you go into your unipeg form and let me ride on your back? Then I’m not too far away and we can travel faster.�

[Anonymous]

Veguard sighed at her response. It wasn't so much that he wanted to explain himself, but rather...well...he wanted her to know why. But she obviously wasn't interested in listening unless he was interested in telling. But if she didn't ask, he didn't feel comfortable saying anything...
Oh to hell with it.

Poked in the cheek, Veguard turned to look at Valeska with a peculiarly blank face. He did not rise until she voiced her request, at which point he sat up and nodded. "Very well..."
Standing fully, he called upon his abilities and became what she asked, shifting to his unipeg form. He neighed quietly and bowed his head, pawing the ground slightly as he waited for her to mount.

And all the while he waited for this crummy feeling to leave his heart. But it persisted, unlike when he felt sorrow.
But perhaps that was because he now felt sorrow along with the remnants of his anger...

[Anonymous]

Gods he looks depressed...

Valeska sighed in frustration. What she had said was not exactly what she meant as usual. What made it worse was that she could tell it was bothering him. She put her hand on her face and pulled it down slowly until it fell from her chin. Valeska groaned and stepped loudly around Veguard until she was before him and kneeled down to see him.

She expression was somewhere between annoyed, ashamed, and bashful. Yes, it was hard to make out. She began by stroking Veguards muzzle and sighed again. “Look, I didn’t mean that. I’m not very good at saying what I mean…I haven’t been since that day really. So…you must have a little more patience with me.�

Valeska moved a strand of his mane and looked into his eyes. “It’s not like I don’t want to know why you’re angry with Valerik, I do, believe me, there is nothing I am more curious about at this moment. But…,� she looked away, “I didn’t want to make you tell me. I thought it made you uncomfortable and that I would make things worse with further questioning. It is exactly like when you ask me a question and then pull back because you think I’m uncomfortable ok?�

“So let me try again, since it seems you really do want me ask. Why are you angry with Valerik? And be honest, I won’t be mad, I could never be mad at you.�

[Anonymous]

Veguard blinked his large horse eyes at her as she knelt to at the same level as his bowed head. He cold not tell exactly what sort of face she was making, and so wasn't entirely sure what to expect.
He nickered softly as she stroked his impossibly soft muzzle, always enjoying a bit of attention like that, especially in his animal form.
He felt bad after she finished speaking. He hadn't meant to make her feel that way...
But she had more to say.

Her words finally reassurred him, and he felt better even though all she had done was asked and assurred him that she wouldn't be mad. He gently nudged her face, rubbing his velvety nose along her cheek.
Thank you Valeska...
Now, to figure out how to word his anger...
I don't know exactly how to say it but...It just...he is dead and yet he holds more sway over your life than if he had been alive. You cannot find happiness because of him. You are lost because of your great grief over loosing him. I wanted to blame him for all of that, for all of your pain now, but I understand that I must be wrong. And that is because...because I cannot...
He sighed, closing his large amber orbs.
Because I cannot feel and do not understand love.

[Anonymous]

Valeska blushed when Veguard touched her cheek. Well, that reaction may have confused the hell out of him, but at least he feels better…

She closed her eyes after hearing his answer. A soft smile came to her lips, and when she opened her eyes they were sad, as it was often her expression. “That may not be true…you’re not supposed to truly feel sadness or anger, who is to say something wonderful like love is beyond your reach now? As for Valerik, well…you may be surprised to learn that I was almost completely obedient to him, so it is not so different. Deep down I am still a dragon, and so was he. The male is the dominant one, that’s just how I think, almost to the point that if I didn’t love him, I’d simply be his possession.�

She now looked skyward. “But if you wish to blame someone for my pain, since Valerik was not the man I knew when…I killed him…there are really only two people left.�

Valeska stroked his muzzle again before getting up. “Perhaps…you should…ask of my old life, maybe then you’d understand a bit better.� She smirked and looked him in the eyes again, “that’s an invitation.�

Then she walked to his side and realized something, “um…Veguard?� Valeska looked in his direction, embarrassment blatant in her voice, “I can’t leap as high as I am tall…can you bend down, or kneel or something?"

[Anonymous]

The thought of being able to love, surprisingly enough, scared Veguard. What would happen to him if his heart truly did feel that some day? He was not even meant to have this sorrow or anger, and now love?? What if...
What if he truly did cease to exist from all of this...?
Wait...his possession?? That was a surprise...he couldn't see Valeska being so obedient to anyone, let alone referring to herself as one step above a 'possession'. And for some reason...it truly bothered him to hear her say that.
He did not say anything though, for he was not a dragon, and so could not understand.

Two people to blame...? His muzzle was stroked and then she stood, and he lifted his head to follow. Another surprise came when she openly told him he could ask about her old life.
That was unlike her...
Thank you, Lady Valeska...
He then turned his head to blink at her, noticing the embarrassment in her voice. He nickered lightly, his version of chuckle, and then knelt fully.
Better? He joked, eyes sparkling as he practically laid on the earth and waited for her to mount.

[Anonymous]

She nodded, “thank you.� Valeska placed a hand just behind his wing and swung her right leg over. Adding a little spring from her remaining foot on the ground, and she was on. She looked around a bit, as if expecting something around her to have changed.

“Ready.� Then she searched her memories. It took a minute but she remembered how to ride a horse soon enough. She didn’t really need reigns anyway, she could just tell Veguard which way to go. Besides even if she did need them, Valeska could never bring herself to put such a thing on him.

[Anonymous]

Once she stated that she was ready, Veguard stood as slowly as he could. But he sort of had to get enough thrust to get to his feet, so it was still a jolty ride. Once standing again, Veguard began to slowly trot down the path.
He waited a moment before asking the much anticipated question.
W-would you mind...telling me more about yourself now, Lady Valeska...?
He was tentative, even though she had given him permission not minutes earlier. He just didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

Well, it'd be a way to pass the time.

[Anonymous]

She did not mind the sudden movement as she had ridden before. Her gaze wandered again. She was not afraid of heights, that would make it a little difficult for flying after all, but she did notice how different it looked from her new eye level. Valeska held on with her legs as she had been taught, she rested her hands just before his wings, causing her to lean forward a bit.

Though, it did just occur to her that riding Veguard all day would make her sore. Wait…that was not the best word to use… neither was really…She blushed and covered the right side of her face again

Valeska blinked, and then an awkward smile came. That was quick.

“Well…what do you want to know? I’ve lived for a bit more than 5000 years after all, pick something.�

[Anonymous]

Veguard nickered again, realizing that he had been pretty vague the first time he had asked. Well, he did have a specific time frame in mind...
Well...how about the time you spent with Valerik. Um, if that is alright. I want to know more about him, about your relationship. I want to understand you both better.
He hoped she wouldn't mind speaking about it.

(And...my brain hurts really bad...lol)

[Anonymous]

Hmm…he seems to be very curious about Valerik, I wonder why…Well…were to start…

Valeska looked to the sky again, a small smirk on her lips. “We met when I was about 3000 years old, both of us were chosen to observe humanity. I had not known him really before then. He was Lord Valerik, that’s all, as I’m sure I was just Lady Valeska to him. Valerik was a water dragon, and about 500 years older than I. He and I spent a year perfecting our human forms, so that the humans would not be too suspicious. We were given orders just to watch them, but Valerik quickly grew bored. In my opinion as well, it was a poor way of study, you cannot simply watch something and hope to understand it.�

“So we began to live among them. He was…such a child. I’m beginning to wonder if all men are like that. Everything sparked that mans interest, even if he didn’t know a thing about it. Valerik often interrupted me to show me something new he learned. He was also a fool, always laughing, and hardly ever knew what was going on, and he always acted so proud about it! He had a talent for making me blush as well.�

“At first we pretended to be brother and sister, but as the years went by we noticed our affections would call for another guise. And so we were married, in human terms. Dragons have no such concept, though when we mate we keep the same mate, some animals chose others.�

She sighed, her eyes held sadness, but she smiled. Valeska had never spoken of this before, no one to confide in really. Then she blushed a little, realizing she had not exactly answered his question. “Or am I being too vague? Is there something more you wish to know?�

[Anonymous]

Veguard listened silently to Valeska's story. He could tell how fond she was of this Valerik, and he really did feel bad for all the horrible thoughts he had earlier. Valeska and Valerik really were...
...in love.
Would he ever understand such a strong emotion??

No, no, that was good, Lady Valeska
He was silent for a moment as he pondered what he had been told.
...He sounds like he was a nice man, a good person.

(Yuuuuuck! Crappy post!!)

[Anonymous]

Valeska sighed, “yes…he was…� She was a little happy that he didn’t ask her to go further. The memories were still strong, for more reasons than one. It was still a little painful to think about.

“Umm…Veguard? Can I ask you a question? …I mean…besides the one where I just asked you if I could ask…" Valeska shook her head, “ forget that last part.� Why was asking a simple question so hard? She suspected it was the same reason she felt nervous around him. And now I sound like a total idiot, stellar job. I suppose you’ll follow it up with a stutter, because you’re a nervous wreck…and now I’m insane because I’m talking to myself…better than another voice though…

[Anonymous]

Veguard was instantly relieved that he hadn't asked Valeska any further questions. She was so emotional...
She really had felt strongly for Valerik...

Veguard pricked his ears as Lady Valeska spoke again. He nickered, a soft laugh, at her rambling.
Yes, of course you can. What is it?
He waited patiently for her to ask him. He honestly couldn't fathom what she might want to ask...

(erg, another crap post...)

[Anonymous]

He’s nickering again…strange word. He’s done that a few times now, I wonder what it means. Valeska couldn’t really apply what little knowledge of horses she had to Veguard. He wasn’t exactly a normal horse in the first place, and anyway, his reasons for doing that are not likely the same as an ordinary equine. Then, she didn’t consider him to be normal at all.

“Well…� she looked at the sky, “you remember last night when I asked you what you were like before we met? You told me you couldn’t really remember. I was just wondering…doesn’t that…bother you?� It does now that you pointed it out stupid…damn… “I’m sorry, I suppose only a being that has such an accurate and vivid memory would be so concerned that a part may be missing.� Idiot, why are your lips still moving? You’re making it worse! Valeska looked to the ground, a little ashamed. In saying this she was reminded that he was not exactly a true being, and shouldn’t be worrying about such things. He shouldn’t have emotions ether, he’s even more cursed than I in some ways. “Sorry.�

[Anonymous]

Veguard was surprised by her question. Where had that come from? He had already pretty much forgotten about that particular conversation. In any case, he didn't mind answering.
It's alright, you don't have to appologize Lady Valeska. No, it does not bother me so much. Those memories would interfere with my ability to help you. They are unneccesary for me to have now.
It was a strange, sad thing for a creature to say. He truly did not feel those memories were necessary any longer...

[Anonymous]

Valeska looked up, resting her gaze on the back of his head as he spoke. Her deep blue eyes were again full of pity and sorrow though he would not see it. Unnecessary…is that what he thinks…then I…She shook her head, that can’t be right! Then those others he helped…then I would be…Can he not think for himself!?! Must his purpose be the only thing behind his thoughts!?!  For some reason unknown to her Valeska felt despair and anger when she reached that conclusion. Though was quite intense, none of it showed on the outside, she appeared clam as she was a moment before.

It faded as quickly as it came though, as she then realized it he could not be at fault. He was a guide, not a person. Valeska felt sad again. …why does that matter so much? Why does the fact bother me? I feel…something for him…damn…why couldn’t I stay cold like before… Valeska’s emotions were only to be given away by her eyes, for they were again sad and guilty.

“I see.� That was all she could manage. It was quiet and withdrawn, she didn’t want her voice to betray her. She didn’t want him to know how much it troubled her. Valeska absentmindedly reached her right hand forward and began to play a bit with the red tipped curly mane in front of her. Real yet not real…here to help others and is never helped in return…what a…sad existence… She didn’t notice her tears until one began to trail down her cheek. She hastily wiped them away before Veguard could notice.

[Anonymous]

Veguard continued to walk along calmly, hearing little from Valeska during that time. Unfortunately for her, his being in his natural form made him all the more accutely aware of her thoughts and feelings. Her quiet response was the first clue to her true feelings, and without thinking, Veguard opened up his mind to her once again, feeling out the reason behind her sad voice.

He was surprised by the sudden sorrow he found there.

Without realizing at first he had broken that rule again, Veguard nickered in worry, and then shifted forms without warning.
Valeska was now resting in a human Veguard's arms, a look of worry on his face as he stared down at her watery eyes.
"Lady Valeska, are you alright? What is wrong? Why are you sad?"
He truly did not fathom that his answer could be the reason for her sadness.