In Mental Shambles

[Goldie]

The young girl didn't know how long she had been traveling, how long she had been running, but she had to keep going.  Something about her wasn't right, and hadn't been right every since she had beent taken from the village.  It seemed that the moment she had left, everything began to unravel and nothing seemed to make sense.

What was happening to her?  Why was the air heavy and hard to breathe in certain places, but in Connlaoth, her home, she felt normal?  At first she thought it was just another side effect of her illness, that her heart was simply taking another step towards failing completely.  She had faced death many times before when the attacks had reached their breaking points and only the help of her brothers had saved her.  Pain she could deal with.  Pain that felt like her heart was being squeezed by an invisible hand that encompased the organ and wanted to tear it from her chest.

But this wasn't pain....this was discomfort, uncertainty....fear....

Eirene was scared.  More scared than she had ever been in the face of what she knew to be danger.  At first it felt like something was trying to suffocate her by pulling the air away from her lungs and making her force herself to breathe, forcing herself to close her eyes in an attempt to calm her lungs which tried to work twice as hard.

At first she thought it was another symptom.....now she wasn't sure.

Tears streamed down her face as she fell to her knees in the middle of the path towards the castle, memories exploding in her mind.  She had run away from kacy....she had run in fear of the very air she breathed, in fear that the last people she would know before her heart gave out would be a woman she barely knew and a crazed beast who claimed he was her father....she wouldn't be around people who would care whether she lived or died....her family wouldn't know....she would be alone....alone....just thinking the word caused her heart to squeeze, sending a shockwave of pain through her chest and partway down her arms.

Images flashed on the inside of her eyelids as the tears fell softly down her palid cheeks.  She had run away....thinking that she had escaped from an unknown, uncared about death....but in running from worry, she had run face into a nightmare.  She didnt' know where she was until she found a village and learned she was in the village of Serendipity...the air was still heavy, ungodly heavy...and everytime she approached someone it felt as if their very aura was enough to smother her.  She had pushed her way through a crowd, and that was when she noticed something was dreadfully wrong....

Everytouch....everybrush....a shock flowed through her body....she coudln't make her way through without feeling every part of her explode with pins and needles....people noticed....they stared in bewilderment at the strange, crying, little girl who tried so desperately to get by, each shockwave pushing her foreward....

This wasn't a symptom...she told herself wildly as she raced into the surrounding woods.  This was magic....magic that should not be a part of her....she was from Connlaoth...neither of her brothers had any trace of it...no....they why did she?  Why?  Now she could never be accepted...she could never go home...not without the growing guilt that she was living a lie, that she had magic and was secretly endangering everyone who can in contact with her!  She couldn't do it...she couldn't force her evil upon them!

Wrapping her arms around her body protectively she stumbled on towards the palace gates.  Her light blonde hair was littered with leaves and branches from the forest, small scratches adorned her face and her clothes were torn and pulled.  SOmewhere along the road she had lost her shoes and now stumbled barefoot up to the palace gates where she banged weakly on the door.

"Please..." she cried, hoping that her small voice could be heard, "Please...please just let me in....I have to....I have to know...."  Once again she slid down to her knees and hit the door a few more times in silent despair.

[Anonymous]

Rizzen was sure he would have gone insane if he had to spend one more second in the infirmary. Apparently, the female Mordecai got her clock cleaned and two of the male ones were busy playing the two part act of 'I care more about her' and the ever famous 'my dick is bigger than yours'. He was glad there were no nurses in sight when he pushed himself out of bed and limped out the door. Hobbling around the corridors in his dressing robe and sleeping pants was highly preferable to listening in on more of that. He wondered just how long he could stay out before one of the nurses realized he was gone.

Since escaping from the infirmary hadn't been on his to-do list for the day, he had no idea what to do while roaming. He didn't have any quarters to visit in the palace and didn't feel like leaving the grounds. In the end, he just wandered the halls, looked at some of the paintings - mostly landscapes, fussed with his now unruly brown hair in an ornamental mirror and ignored any glances he got from the palace's usual occupants.

After the first hour he was bored stiff, annoyed at the constant sting in his leg and lost. He considered asking one of the servants where the infirmary was, but then realized that he might be heading right back to the little drama he'd escaped from. No infirmary, he just needed to find something to do that didn't involve moving for the time being. There had to be a library somewhere in the palace. Now to find a servant.

Rizzen limped down a particularly decorated hall that lead into a foyer and was dissapointed to find it empty. He thought he saw some dust along the frame of one of its paintings and leaned in closer to investigate. Dust indeed, and there was a bit of dirt tracked just beyond the door. Somewhere in the castle a terrible annoyed housekeeper had to be gearing up to order a maid to clean. If he waited long enough that servant would inevitably show up. Or he could just wait until someone was about to leave and bother them. He sat in a stiff chair with green upholstery and leaned his head against the back. Stiff as that chair was, it was a welcome change from the cottony softness of the infirmary beds.

He was just starting to doze off when he heard a thumping sound. A quick glance of the foyer revealed nothing. The thumping continued, even though he was awake. He waited, nothing and nobody made an appearance, but the thumping continued. Now being accompanied by another sound, if there'd been another person in the room he might have called it a whisper. There was still no one, but Rizzen now looked to the big door that lead into the foyer from what he assumed was outside the palace. If there was no one at the door he considered going back to the infirmary and casually mentioning the phenomenon. It might bring some peace and quiet back to the place.

Slowly, he got out of the chair, bracing himself on the arms to put less strain on his leg and limped to the door. Which was missing a peephole. He paused a moment to consider whether he should just go back to the infirmary and put the thought of the foyer being haunted into some nurse's head. There was one that would probably believe that horses were grown like corn if you told her with enough matter-of-fact seriousness in your voice. But, he was lost and he wanted to have something to keep him from making the story sound like a tall tale.

So he undid the latch and eased the door open.

If there had been someone at the door, Rizzen would have guessed it was a guardman or someone of importance to one of the sombody's in the palace. It was too early to judge the girl crouching there as someone not important, but it was easy the way she was huddled down on her knees, looking like she'd just just got finished running through a forest. Appearances weren't everything though. He would have gotten on his knees to talk to her but didn't want to go through standing up again.

"Can I help you?" he asked casually, raising an eyebrow.

[Goldie]

Eirene didn't know how long she rested, or even how long she had been banging on the door.  She had given up hope the moment she realized what was happening to her so there wasn't much that would kill her spirits at the moment.  In fact, she was surprised that she had somehow managed her way back to the castle and found some sort of enterance...she wasn't surprised, however, that no one seemed to be answering her call.  The palace was probably running around trying to right some horrible wrong that was going on in the village or something, they didn't have time to waste on little girls cowering in the doorway begging for help.

And who could blame them?  It wasn't as if she looked like anyone special.  She was young, barely 15 with hair the color of snow and eyes like amber, and ill with a weak heart.  Besides being from a fairly wealthy family in the village and having a brother in the service of the Matron, there was nothing at all interesting about her.

At least, that's what she would have said before...

But what could she claim to be now?  The moment she realized that magic tainted her blood was the moment she lost every nicety she thought she had owned...every title and deed to land, to family, to life...it was forfeit...she could have ran....oh yes she could have ran away, but that wouldn't have solved her problem.  Even in running she would be endangering anyone who crossed her path.  There was nothing left for her, nothing besides the smallest hint of redemption that rested in the palace...perhaps they would have a cure....perhaps she wasn't tainted and had just come in contact with some magically bred illness....and if not....well, it's better to die by choice at the hand of her kingdom than by herself, alone and forgotten.

Her mind had begun to wander and she barely noticed that her hand still smacked against the door, faintly, but enough to bring notice to someone walking by.  Not that she had been expecting anyone.  Weeks alone and fleeing in fear are enough to dash out any hope that a final tap would bring anyone.

She raised her hand and went to hit the door one last time....one futile last time and her hand did not hit wood but fell through where the door should have been and tapped against something else.  Eirene started as she realized that she had just hit someone's foot and slowly raised her eyes, blinking in surprised to see someone actually standing there, not just a lone foot created by her own imagination.  At the moment a freestanding foot would have made more sense.

With a jump she tried to raise herself to her feet only to find her legs shook terribly causing her to sink back down to her knees.  She tried to make the awkward movement look like she was positioning herself into a bowing position fitting for the Matron herself and at the moment, anyone who opened the door was good enough for her.

Raising her head again as he spoke she no longer knew how the reply.  She had been running from herself for what seemed like ages and here she was...faced with speaking about the dangerous feelings that she harbored inside...faced with telling of her possible magic....and she couldn't find the words.

"Please..." she settled with after a moments hesitation, "I need the Matron....I...I n...need help."  she wasn't actually expecting to meeting with the Matron herself....but it was all she could think to say.

[Anonymous]

She hit his foot. Rizzen added that to all the other aspects of her person and continued trying to figure out why she was here. That she was yet another villager with information about the explosion seemed likely until he began wondering why she would look so haggered when the explosion took place some time back. There had to be another reason. He abandoned the effort and continued to watch, looking for more hints.

She was weak as water, or nervous, since she couldn't quite get off her knees to stand and talk to him directly and stared up at him silently. Dumbstruck, or nervous, or even scared.

He tried to keep his eyes from looking directly into hers, instead focusing more on her eyebrows and waited to see if she was going to say anything. Was she expecting someone else to answer the door? Surely if someone was expecting her they would be waiting in the foyer. He would have seen them, or seen a sign of them, asked about the library and wondered why they seemed so eager to get him on his merry way.

There! He almost missed her first word, and leaned forward a little to catch the rest. The Matron? He hadn't been expecting that one, maybe the Matron was holding an open court today and this girl was desperate for an audience. Maybe it had already started and that's why the halls were so empty, all the members of the Matron's court were in her reception room and the servants were busy jockeying for the best place to spy on the proceedings.

"The Matron," he repeated the thought, his tone full of curiousity. "I don't know where she is, but I could help you find her, or anyone I know that could possibly help." Which, he assumed was noone, since he hadn't seen any familiar faces during his stay. He leaned into the doorframe and extended a hand down to her.

Hopefully, she wanted to hear something like that, and wasn't just trying to get him to go off on a wild goose chase to find the Matron.

[Goldie]

She didn't know what to expect from the guy standing before her, but his words were exactly what she needed to hear, true or no.  It seemed like a huge weight was taken off of her shoulders now that she at least knew she was going to have help finding the Matron or anyone else of consequence to help her!  Her amber eyes immediately lost some of their hopelessness.  For good or ill, she was here and all of her questions were about to be answered.  That much, was a blessing in itself.

It was hard, living with a secret that could possibly mean life or death for other people, as well as herself.  And it was nice to finally get some of the weight from her shoulders.  Running for so long in complete solitude in the forest gave her plenty of time to deliberate her fate and all of the repercussions they envoked.

"Thank you." she murmered, an audible sigh exuding from her lips as she took his offered hand.  It took a little while to steady her feet as she stood up, clutching only his hand as a life line in order for her not to collapse like before.  Realizing what she was doing, she blushed deeply and let go, pretty confident that her legs wouldn't give out on her, at least not for a little while.

Maybe...on their search for the Matron she would be lucky enough to run into Tobrecan....he had said he joined the militia and it would be nice to see him before....well...before whatever was going to happen happened.  Even if she wasn't killed, Tobre would never accept her again if he found out she had magic....so it'd be nice...to see him before everything came out...of course he'd probably laugh at her at first....and then the scorn....he hated magic users....he even hated their older brother who left Connlaoth to persue music, even among magic users.  If she had magic?  There was no way that he would acknowledge her ever again...and more than likely he'd wield the sword that killed her in the end.

She sighed again.  There were too many ifs...too many questions that needed to be answered and would only be answered if she met with someone who could help....but who else could help besides the Matron herself?  If fact...now that she was here....who could help at all in this mess?

"Are you....in the military?" she asked haltingly, her emotions slowly coming back under control after her initial shock of being answered.  Perhaps he would know her brother....unlikely, but hey, crazier stuff had happened.

[Anonymous]

Lifting the girl to her feet didn't strain his leg as bad as he thought it would. Once she was on her feet, he kept his other hand on the doorframe and leaned into it a little after she let his hand go.

No hasty excuses. Maybe she really was here to see the Matron. There was the possibility that she didn't think so quickly on her feet - or hadn't figured out what to say if she wasn't just given directions to the Matron. Then again, she did seem to be somewhat relieved after he offered to help.

Then she asked if he was in the military and he grinned, giving one of the lapels on his dressing robe an inquisitive look. "When I'm not in the infirmary. Why? Thinking about joining once you find the Matron? Or are you trying to free someone from service?"

((Gah, I couldn't think of nothin' XD))

[Goldie]

Eirene didn't know whether to call it luck or not that she had found a way into the castle and was being led towards the Matron.  Luck, certainly if she was found clean of any ills, but could she call it luck if she was put to death?  She had resigned herself to it before, but now doubt was slowly inching its way forward in her mind.  Was this really what she wanted?

Well, the better question was, would the world want her.  If the answer was no, then she had no more reason to live.  But she couldn't despair, not now, not when she was so close.  Sooner or later her fate would be out of her hands and she would just have to ride along for the ride.

"What?" she asked startled at his inquiry, "No....no....I'm afraid I wouldn't last very long in the military."  She smiled ruefully and pressed her hand over her heart.  Just outside the palace doors she had had another attack, and it was still throbbing lightly underneath her skin, "In my condition I'd be more hinderance than anything."  It was true too.  If she had been enlisted or something she wouldn't have gotten ten minutes into training before she would have to be carted off to the infirmiry.  Ha!  that would be a funny sight.....her, a scrawny, sickly fifteen year old running around with a sword.  Oooo...how intimidating.

"No, I wouldn't join....but I was just thinking....my brother enlisted a little while ago and...well, it would be nice if I saw him before I," she stopped short.  She almost gave herself away!   If he was in the military he might not even hesitate to...to...strangle her or something just on the suspicion of magic!  "Well...before I leave." she finished lamely with a pause in the middle that could not be taken as anything but a quick change of thoughts.


((lol! That's ok!  Stupid muses! >_< ))

[Anonymous]

((Stupid indeed, stupid stupid and more stupid. + I'm very sorry for not posting in eight-billion years ^__^;; ))

He noted the hand on her chest and figured she had asthma or something else that made her believe she wasn't the fighting type. Rizzen had known several guardsmen that had some sort of issue keeping them chained to less exciting jobs and then there was that older captain who had minor heartattacks every other month or so. There was a pretty good sized pool for when he was going to die matter of fact... They were all men though, and men didn't like to realize that they had weaknesses. All of them were invincible and unstoppable. Women, however, most women he knew had a good sense of what they could or couldn't do.

He listened to her brother, wondered if he'd know the guy and took in the pause before she gave her reason for wanting to see him. She was starting to get comfortable speaking to him - so there had to be a reason behind that pause. Maybe something personal? Maybe that was why she had to see the Matron?

A little while ago? Depending on just how little a while ago it was, he might have been enjoying a fine stay at the infirmary. There was also the case that her brother had been far too ordinary to have made a lasting impression. The last thing he wanted to tell the girl was that he remembered 'What's his face' after a couple moments wondering if 'what's his face' was her brother or if he was one of the other legion of half-remembered guardsmen he'd known and lead. It would be better to lie and tell her that he'd never seen him. There was also the case that her brother was a ranking officer - which meant there'd be less a chance of him knowing him, but rather just knowing him. In any case he'd rather get skippy to asking before she started thinking that he was wondering if she was lying to him.

"There's a chance I might. What's his name and what does he look like?" he asked, studying her face and running her features by those of the guardsmen he knew.

[Goldie]

ooc: That's ok!  I know that I've taken years to post before ._.  can't hold grudges against you!  let alone myself!

IC:

It startled her, that he said he might know him.  She honestly hadn't expected anything at all.  After all, Connlaoth had a formidable force to reckon with, and she was sure that there were hundreds that the man had never even met.  Even if he had seen Tobrecan, it was more than likely that it was just that...that he had only seen him.  So many people passed by that she was still almost positive that he didn't know her brother...but hey..she could always try?  Right?

"He's about this tall," she said, holding her hand above her head before realizing that it wasn't going to get anywhere near his height.  Even at full arms length, she only reached up to the man's forehead!  "Um...well, he's a little bit taller than you" she muttered, biting her lip with embarassment.  She forgot sometimes that she was only four foot tenish!  It made describing height a bit difficult, "He has brown hair, not like me, but his eyes are the same...or at least that's what I've been told.  Other than that....I don't think we look that much alike....taking after different parents and everything....he looks like my father."  She didn't really have to say that she looked like her mom.  That could pretty much be assumed.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, twiddling her thumbs thoughtfully, "I don't know why I would think you would know him....he only joined two or three months ago....he probably hasn't even left training...or he's on some small squardron somewhere dowing menial chores."  Or at least she hoped, and her hope showed in her voice.  She dind't want her brother to get injured fighting some magic user...

Ugh...magic....it always came up, didn't it?  Especially now that it was the one thing that kept her up at night.  It hadn't bothered her before...in fact she had found magic fascinating...but now...now that she might have to die because of it, it became something dangerous.

"Do you....do you know what they do to magic users?" she asked, not knowing the exact reason why she felt she needed to open up to this man, "Do they....do you...torture them?  Or...just kill them outright?  Or...if they can't help it...and they didn't ask for it....is there a cure?"  Yup...seal her fate right here and now.  But...maybe he would think she was asking for someone else....better make him think she was.

"not that I'm asking for any personal reason!" she added, not realizing that she was a terrible liar and that she spoke a little too fast and a little too high for it to be taken as normal, "I mean...hypothetically....if......I don't know....you touch people and they shock you....and then look at you as if you've taken something precious from them...." it was true...that's what those looks were.  It was as if she had stolen something from them...like a single touch had taken their very souls....

[Anonymous]

((Hurrah for the years of silence! Woohoos!))

A little taller than him, brown hair, reddish-gold eyes, looked nothing like the girl. Aside from the eyes he knew plenty of soliders that fit that description. It was a good thing she didn't say her brother had green or brown eyes... Eyes like that would have made an impression on him, so he was sure he hadn't met her brother.

Unless... it was one of those things that at the moment seems like it's going to last forever only to be promptly forgotten after a length of time. No, it would only have been a month or so ago, he'd remember it faintly if anything.

Only... it didn't seem like this girl wanted him to know her brother. Or didn't want her brother to be around for something.

A possible something came quickly. The punishment of magic users. He tapped a finger on the door to keep from trying to tie the brother into the punishment of magic users and wrap it all up with seeing the Matron. Her lie was as obvious as if she'd casually mentioned 'and yes, I'm fibbing' at the end of it. Actually, if she'd said that he might wonder if she was just yanking his chain or trying to distract him from the statement.

A things started clearing up now. Clearly if there was a way to cure magic users of their ailment, then the Matron of all people would know. She obviously had to care about the afflicted one... who didn't care about themselves after all? She wouldn't want someone that knew her brother bragging about how they bagged his sister either.

He tilted his head up and nibbled on his bottom lip. This was the first time he'd heard of a cure before... that was something Connlaoth would invest in - or should. It'd greatly lower the amount of people that'd have to die.

"I don't know anything about a cure..." he said, looking back at her, but trying to keep from looking at her too closely or have an accusing expression. Didn't want her to think she had to be scared of him. "But, magic users are usually executed. Unless they know something of use, then they're questioned first. Magic must be controlled, like any plague."

She'd probably still be a little scared now, rather she thought he suspected her or not. He was in no mood to run if she took off, so this one would be a freebie. Maybe she would escape to another country, if she was smart. It'd be one less innocent killed.

[Goldie]

Eirene couldn't supress the shiver that ran down her spine as he spoke.  She had already known the answer to her question before he answered, but she needed to hear it first hand.  After all, not everyone had to be like her brother believed.  The government might have had some sort of magic holding unit or something, and death wouldn't have to be an option.

Ha.  Fat chance at that.  Magic was a disease that spread and corrupted, corrupted and spread, and it seemed that no one was immune to it's grasp.  If she had only been born stronger....if she could have escaped Kacy when she flew off on her platform thing....if she hadn't woken in a strange town where everyone she bumped looked at her with a mixture of shock, fear, and anger.

What had she done?  She had never had that problem before when she only lived in Connlaoth!  It didn't happen with Kacy had touched her....what was different about that place?  About those people that made a ripple of sparks seem to run down her arm whenever she merely brushed against their clothing?

She hadn't realized that she had stopped walking, staring as if transfixed by the floor, completely lost in thought.  Her bottom lip was clamped between her teeth, a nervous habit she had picked up from Teague, but although she stood stock still, her mind was still racing.

She was a danger to everyone!  To this very man....but....

no....

He had helped her up!  He had touched her hand and she had felt nothing!  Did that mean that she was cured?

Now that she thought about it, the air was not as opressive as it had been in the other town.  She could breathe freely!  Perhaps it was only a figment of her imagination, perhaps nothing really happened and she was frightened over nothing!

"It's gone" she breathed, not caring anymore whether he knew or not! They couldn't kill her if she wasn't tainted!

"It's gone!" she said again suddenly, looking up at him, "You helped me up, at the door...you held my hand and I didn't feel anything!  And you didn't look at me like I had stolen part of your life away!  I'm home!" she fel tears of joy running down her pale cheeks, "Even the air here...I can feel the difference, it's not pressing down on me, threatening to smother me with every breath...."  She couldn't help but twirl once in place, a short trill of happiness erupting from her lips.  "I don't need a cure...I just need to be home...around normal people."  I don't have magic.

Remembering her composure, she wiped the tears from her eyes, "I'm sorry for wasting your time." she murmured, a flush rising to her cheeks as she realized the hilarity ofher actions.  She had just acted like a child of 6 in front of a man from the army.  How he must be laughing at her!

[Anonymous]

Just a moment ago, Rizzen would have assumed that either she, or alternatively someone she knew and loved, was a magic user. Now she was crying, dancing around and claiming that 'it' was gone.

She was missing something, that was obvious.

He was far from laughing, though he figured once a nurse chased him back down and tied him into his bed he'd see some humor in it. Maybe. Right now he justed watched her, trying not to let his jaw fall open and his eyes pop out of his head. The jaw was behaving, he wasn't sure about his eyes. They had yet to hit true pop status, but he could feel them straining to get there.

Now what?

Maybe she should see the Matron... who knew what type of chaos would be unleashed if common folk started thinking they could use magic?

First he had to compose himself though. He wasn't going to get anywhere staring at her like she was a freak. A little shocked wonderment seemed alright, considering the sudden shift in her personality, but he didn't want it to look like his brain took a sudden holiday.

"Don't be sorry," he said, unballing his fists and blinking once to chase away his eyes' urge to pop. "If something made you feel like you'd developed magic and now you feel normal, it's not something to be shrugged aside so lightly."

[Goldie]

In an instant everything that had made her worries and fears disappear disintegrated, her smile faltered as the seriousness of his words bit deep into her heart.  How could she have believed that it was suddenly gone?  That the darkness pressing down upon her could magically be lifted as if nothing had happened and she was suddenly free?  How long had she been in Serendipity?  How long had she been kept there by Kacy and the man who claimed to be her father....and.....could their magic have rubbed off on her?  Like an epidemic, could it spread?

Ah!  Of course nothing could be as easy as just waking up and finding that whatever magic had tainted her had simply disappeared....no....nothing could be that simple.  And here she was, standing with a soldier, having just spilled her deepest secret...it was his duty to turn her in....possibly to kill her on the spot.  She was a threat to the entire community, not matter that she did not feel the oppressive weight upon her small form.

As if on cue, her heart beat painfully in her chest, the wound that had been granted to her at birth sent waves of pain through her torso until she felt her knees turn to jello.  With the hand that was not clutching her chest, Eirene leaned against the wall, panting softly until the spasm passed.  At least that was something farmiliar....at least she still had her humanity....pain was something with which she could deal....this new fear was far worse than any sickness....

"You...." she panted, looking up at him through her blonde tresses that swept across her face, "Do you really think it will come back?" her voice was hardly louder than a mouse and it wavered as the pain receeded to a dull throb in her chest, allowing her to stand on her own again, slowly.

"I don't want to hurt anyone...even if....even if it means..." she couldn't say it.  Not now that the shadow of hope restored her will to survive, "Please, take me to the Matron and I'll subject myself to whatever fate decides." She paused, her amber eyes dull with the full resignation of her fate.  For what else could it be?

"But...please...if you see him...I would ask that my brother does not know of this....it would....it would kill him."  After all, he'd be losing the only family he acknowledged...after Teague had left Eirene had become Tobre's world...this would be a shattering blow, and she would prefer he did not know.  She did not want to live to see the hatred and betrayal in his eyes.

[Anonymous]

Excellent work... now she was going to die of shock. How much would it have hurt him to play dumb and act like she had been cured. Was it a big stretch to believe in the healing properties of good, clean, Connlaothian air?

Yes.

There was no way he could pull off being excited over her cure, just saying the words 'healing Connlaothian air' would probably make his head explode. Better she die of shock than think she caused someone's head to explode.

Scratch that, she might die of shock if she saw his head explode. Then there'd be two corpses, the investigation to discover why there were two bodies in the castle foyer would be brutal and if the cheif investigator found out why they were dead their head would explode, or they'd die of complete mortification.

In the end it would piss the palace's housekeeper off beyond measuring. He could almost hear the foyer thanking him...

Not that the foyer's gratitude was keeping her from presumably dying of shock. Where were the nurses when they were needed? He was a soldier, not a healer, the most he could do for was try not to smother her and resist the urge to ask her if she was alright. What he did do was look reasonably surprised and put what he hoped was a supporting hand on her shoulder so she wouldn't fall down.

Whatever was happening to her seemed to pass soon enough, since she began speaking. She was out of breath, but didn't sound like she was about to hack up some vital organ, he did have to lean forward a little to hear her though. He didn't take his hand off her shoulder immediately once she got her feet back underneath her.

Magic user or not, the girl was still human. She wasn't going to keep trusting him if he started treating her like she was a leper. He'd outgrown his fear of thinking magic contagious after meeting Captain Tearshed, if it was he'd have been gleefully toasting his fellow magic users ages ago.

He shrugged at her question. Maybe it was like the tide, waxing and waning from some sort of trigger. Or maybe the palace had an aura of pure air that would heal any magic users that didn't want their power and nobody made the connection until... ugh Rizzen dropped the thought before he got a headache.

Not that seeing the hope drain out of her eyes when she'd been estatic just moments before was making him feel any better. At least he didn't have a headache keeping the warm fuzzy bastardization company. If anything he could redeem himself a little by agreeing to her request. It wasn't the first time he made that promise - which as far as he knew he hadn't broken.

"I'll do my best to help you find Her Ladyship, or at the least, try to find someone that knows where she's hiding," he smiled, looking out of the corner of an eye to see if any someones were around. None that he could see, she was stuck with him for the time being. He offered her his hand, in case she still felt faint from... whatever happened to her earlier and reailized he'd do a crummy job keeping her brother from learning what happened to her if he didn't know their names. "You should probably tell my your brother's name, and his rank if you know it. Your own wouldn't hurt either, I can't be expected to keep him in the dark if I don't know whose name to keep out of whose ear."

[Goldie]

Eirene did not notice his supporting hand until after it's weight left her shoulder.  Immediately she was reminded of her older brothers, always ready to keep her safe and protect her from an illness in which they had no control.  If it had not been for them, she was sure that she would have been dead long ago, but here she was, barely fifteen, and she was alive.

For now.  Things were not looking too promising.

But maybe, just maybe, she was only overreacting.  There was always the posibility that they were giving her weird looks because they knew that she was from Connlaoth...and the shocks?  Well, maybe it was their magic and not hers.  Maybe all Connlaothian's felt the opressive weight of any city that was not their native land.  She could be overreacting....could be....she just had to push aside what it was she felt when she woke up in that strange village, not knowing where she was, and realizing how hard it was for her to breathe.

Oh god...this was going to tax her to the limits of her strength.  How could anyone walk into death without so much as thinking about finding a way out of that fate?  She could just turn around...walk away and never return....she could go into hiding, find others...there were bound to be others....

No.

No, she couldn't do that.  She had come this far and wasn't about to endanger the rest of her people with whatever ailment Serendipity had bestowed upon her.  She was in it for the long run, and she had better push aside all fearful thoughts if she planned to get through this.

"Thank you." she muttered when he took the supporting hand away, "They've gotten worse..." she murmured half to herself, her one hand still lightly resting over her heart as the dull throb beneath continued.  She knew that another spell would not be far behind, and just hoped that the pain would flare again after all of this was done...she had to be more careful....the way things were going the pain could escalate beyond what her body could take.  Again.  That was how she ended up in this situation in the first place.  If she hadn't had a spell that knocked her unconscious, she would never have been taken away and she would still be at home...waiting for her brothers to return from their adventuring...

"Oh..." she looked up realizing that he had asked her a question, "His name....it's Tobrecan.  He hasn't been here terribly long, but I can't say anything about where he is in training, or if he's already out in the field.  I...I haven't been home in a while so I have not heard any news." she wince again as another sharp pain raced through her chest, this time it was quick and jarring instead.  She hoped that the spasms were only getting worse because of her long trek and malnutrition...

"And I am Eirene." she added, looking at the offered hand and slowly shook her head, her cheeks flushed with the effort it took to continue.  "No..I'll be alright. " she told him, her free arm brushing against the wall in the most non-obtrusive way she could muster.  If she needed something to grab onto she would much rather cling to the wall instead of leaning on someone whom she hardly knew.  It just seemed...awkward.  And she didn't like being viewed as weak, not matter how firmly she fit its description.

"It's not the worst its been, I can walk on my own." she paused again, "Thank you" added Eirene in hushed tones, "Thank you for helping me.  I'm sure this is not something outlined in your list of duties..."

[Anonymous]

"Not really, at this moment my only real duty is to lie in bed and heal up.  As you can see, I'm not doing too well with that one, so no one will really be shocked if I help you."  He considered saying that four eyes were better than two, then remembered that there were far more eyes either looking for him or that would be curious if they came upon a wounded solider and an unknown girl leaning against the wall.  They would be found before they found anyone.

Or at least they should be.  

A familiar angry voice just outside the front door let him know that they were indeed going to be found before they went to find anyone.  It wasn't the person he would have wanted to see, but at least she knew more people within the castle proper than he did.  Though he was sure Eirene heard the voice, he looked towards the door.  "Eirene," he whispered. "Do not tell this woman anything you've told me.  You're only here to see the Matron."

The door swung open shortly after and a woman with chesnut hair wearing cream and blue clothing popular in the city stormed in, a man with shaggy black hair in a military uniform so close behind her that he nearly clipped the back of her heels.

The woman stopped short, her eyes wide and lip curling up.  At least until her follower plowed into her, which almost knocked her over.  She plodded forward a few steps to catch her balance and turned to the man with one fist raised.  Apparently thought better of it and turned back to Rizzen and Eirene, her lip curling again.  The soldier just leered at them and hooked his thumbs around the pistols at his waist.

"Rizzen... care to explain why you're bothering this girl instead of letting that gimp leg heal."  She crossed her arms and tapped one booted foot on the ground.

[Goldie]

ooc: gyah!  it's so hard to get back into character after months and months O_o  if this is particularly sucky...well...I'm sorry XD  not to mention I finished playing Silent Hill for the first time last night so all that's running through my mind is, "Cheryl!" and me thinking, "Who CARES?  Get out of the freaking town!"

ic:

A small smile hinted at the corners of her lips at his comment.  His predicament was something that she could relate to completely, having always been forced to take things slowly lest her heart give out.  Having been told to rest and then escaping through the back window to sit out underneath the cherry trees was something of a regular occurance when she was at home.  Eventually her brothers had stopped trying to convince her to stay inside and took to sitting next to her in the sunlight.

Eirene was concentrating so much on staying on her feet, that she had not heared the other voice and started when Rizzen spoke to her.  Only then could she discern the voices coming from the other hallway.

Gods...if she couldn't tell anything other than wanting to see the matron to anyone else...what would have happened had she stumbled upon another man?  Would they have refused to help her find the matron?  Would they have killed her on the spot just because she thought that magic might be the malady that afflicted her?

Silently she sent a prayer of thanks to whoever was listening for having her meet him at the door.  At least now she had a chance, even if it was slim.  But hope could change shape and size and, like water, could squeeze into the tiniest crack, eroding away the rocks that held it in place until even the smallest glimpse could fill an empty soul.

Nodding, to let him know that she understood, she had no time to ponder who the voice might be as a formidable looking woman burst through the door, a soldier hard on her heels.  Eirene's heart went cold as the woman's gaze swept over her.  The soldier behind them had his hands close to his pistols.

The color drained from Eirene's face as she glanced at the guns.  He looked as if he would use them in an instant if he so chose, and she realized that she wouldn't have needed Rizzen's promptings to keep her mouth shut.  As much as she said she would accept her fate, no one wanted to die, and she felt as if one slip of the tongue would be enough to seal her fate before even meeting with the Matron.

"He's helping me." Eirene interjected, unsure if it was her place to speak.  After all, she was no noble, and even though her family had always been well off, her clothes were dirty and torn from her flight.  She could only imagine the image she gave: a scrawny girl with a beesnest in her snowy hair, no shoes, leaning against the wall with amber eyes reflecting the pain that was still pulsing in her chest.

"I...I'm here to see the Matron."  Gods....she just hoped that they wouldn't ask too many questions.  How much would she be able to conceal?

[Anonymous]

((So... I nearly died trying not to laugh at your train of thought XD which would doubtlessly wind up having this room full of people on computers stare at me in general wtfness.  I had to re-read this thread a couple times before I made that last post.))

There really was no need for Rizzen to say anything, not only would it be redundant, it might make Fahmida suspicious.  He could only hope Eirene's stammer wouldn't seem too obvious.  Fahmida was used to people stammering nervously around her and Captain Tearshed was far too busy staring at Eirene.

"I'll take her," he said, not a moment after hearing that she was here to see the Matron.  "The Matron won't be to keen on a visitor of hers being escorted by a sergeant - and she'll get there faster."

That got him a glare from Fahmida, a sergeant herself and none to impressed by the blatant rank, paper, scissors stunt.  While Rizzen was just a sergeant, she was also a Dragoon, which in her mind gave her full right to challenge that statement.  "Like hell she will!  You aren't fit to escort your shadow!  I'll take her to the Lady Maverikko."

Tearshed just smirked.  "With a detour while you change into your uniform Zelmire?"

"Ass," Fahmida growled, turning back to Eirene and Rizzen.  "Miss, I'll escort you to see the Lady Maverikko.  Rizzen, you'll see yourself back to the infirmary."

Usually Rizzen wouldn't waste his breath trying to get Fahmida to back down from her word, but leaving Eirene alone with her didn't seem like the best course of action.  "I'd be happy to hop back to my bed, if I were through asking Miss Eirene about the gang that waylaid her party while she was traveling here."

Tearshed's eyebrows perked.  Fahmida crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes.  "She can tell me en route."

"Sergeant Fahmida," Rizzen said softly.  "Surely you can see how exhausted the poor girl is.  Why not save her the trouble of telling the whole story over and let me accompany you.  I shouldn't slow you down too much," As long as Fahmida let's Eirene set the pace, shouldn't be a problem.  Fahmida knows how to escort someone. "-and it'll be good exercise for my leg.  The doctor mentioned something about stretching it out."

Fahmida tapped a finger against her arm, looked at Eirene, at Rizzen, back at Eirene and back at Rizzen.  "Stretch it on the way back to the infirmary.  She can tell me any more details and we'll figure out the whole story once she's through with her meeting."

"No," Tearshed walked up to Rizzen and clapped a hand on his shoulder.  "That'll take too long.  Malik, you'll hop along after Zelmire and once you've gotten the whole story you'll hop back to the sick bay and tell me so I can take care of these toughs."  The grin that followed his order was all for Fahmida, who visibly bristled with annoyance at her inability to overturn his order.  

"Yes sir," Rizzen said crisply.  As much as he was tempted to begin feeding Eirene questions about her ambush, he felt it better to wait until Fahmida began walking.  If Eirene began telling him anything she came up with in the few minutes after hearing she'd been under attack he'd roll along with it.

[Goldie]

ooc: sorry if this is a little disjointed O_o  It took me a good 2 hours to write because the phone kept on ringing.  "Music at Gretna this is Katie speaking!"  "Music at Gretna, how can I help you?"  "Music at Gretna I hate you all!"


ic:

Nothing could have prepared her for the two other guards, and she could feel herself blanche at their words.  Never in her life had she felt so...so what?  She couldn't even find the word...but she had never had anyone fight over who would accompany her where.

Silently she hoped that Rizzen would win.  Or Malik...she wasn't quite sure which to call him, if ever she would have the need...Unlike those other two, he seemed to legitimately want to help her.  After all, he was hiding the biggest secret she had ever held in her entire life.  What would happen once they found out that this scrawny girl feared that she might have magic?  Shoot her on the spot?  Or perhaps they wouldn't even let her see the matron, but drag her off for questioning and then kill her?

She shuddered at the thought.

Death at the hand of the Matron was one thing, but death simply by speculation was something else.

Her head jerked when Rizzen lied about gangs.  She prayed that the other guards were focused on him enough that they missed the sudden movement, and set her mind to do some quick thinking.

The best thing to do would be tell as much as the truth as possible....add small details when she needed, and keep things simple.  Anything outlandish would not only draw unneeded attention, but it would be a clear indicator that she was lying to them.  Best say little and make it sound convincing than say a lot and play the fool.  Things were turning out in a way she would never have predicted.  Now all she needed was her brother to come prancing around the corner to see his younger sister, disheveled and tear stained, being escorted by two soldier's towards the Matron.  He wasn't stupid.  He'd figure it out.  She just prayed he wouldn't show up.

The gang....she'd best start somewhere in the middle.  Rizzen made it sound as if she had already told him some of the story...it would be obvious if she started at the beginning....

Reluctant she told herself silently.  Be reluctant to say a word.  Say little, be quiet...act as intimidated as you feel.

They started walking, and with a glance up at Rizzen, began her story.

"After I tried to get away....they came back." she made her voice small, aided by the weakness her illness presented.  It had been weeks...months...since she had last taken the medication to keep it steady.  Now, she wished that she had thought to keep some with her at all times as her heart ached fiercely in her chest.  Was this what her mother had felt her entire life before she died in childbirth?  Leaving her only daughter with her curse and her two sons to help their younger sister survive.

"I ran into the woods...I....I had hoped that they wouldn't find me..." truth enough.  She had run into the woods, but Kacy had been too fast and caught up with her new friend the instant she disappeared.  They had sat there until the bear-man appeared...her heart had sent her head spinning then, and she awoke on a flying platform....the shock caused her to lose her balance...falling off and fainting in mid fall....only to wake and find the very air around her smothering....

"I...climbed a tree." close enough.  Adding a flying platform into this story definitely would not help the situation.  She paused, looked down at her hands in what she hoped was shy apprehension.

"...they found me...I lost my balance and..." her voice was a whisper, a note of terror echoing in her voice that she had not purposefully included.  The very thought of that fall, of waking to find she was flying...it turned her blood cold and added a depth to the story she was telling.  Half-truths though they were, she was still lying through her teeth.

"...the next thing I remember, I was alone.  I didn't know where I was..." Her heart lurched painfully in her chest causing her to sway, all color draining out of her face as her eyes went in and out of focus.  She couldn't let the pain control her...not now....not when the Matron might be only two steps away.  She needed to keep her eyes focused, awake...she needed to stay awake.  Her body was screaming for her to let go, pleading that she had pushed it too far and she needed to let everything shut down in order to catch up.

Breathe Eirene....Breathe! her brother's voice echoed in her head as her vision dimmed, and she fought against the pain, pushing it away until the lights came back into focus and her mind stopped spinning enough for her to remember where she was.

"Please." she begged, looking at both Rizzen and the new woman, "Please, I need to see the Matron now."  She didn't know how much longer she would be able to fight the threatening darkness, and she wanted to tell the Matron everything before letting it consume her.  If she didn't do it now, today, she would surely lose her nerve...

[Anonymous]

((*extends hand* I have been an ultra bad girl for letting this poor thread sit around.  My wrist then, for your whipping pleasure!))

Rizzen noticed Eirene's head jerk when he mentioned she'd been waylaid by a gang and decided it was a good thing neither of the other guards knew her.  For all they knew, just hearing the word so soon after the ambush was traumatizing.  It could have been much worse, she could have been the type whose thoughts slid down the back of their neck and flowed out of their mouths.

This girl, though, she was a natural.  If Tearshed was going to be her escort she wouldn't have had to worry about him unless she outright said something like 'oh by the way I'm here because I think I'm a mage'.  Fahmida though, she was too angry at Tearshed and himself to really pay close attention to the girl's story.

At least Rizzen hoped she was.  She was already going into slow burn mode as they began walking, crossing her arms and tossing her hair back like she wanted to whip someone with it.  As always, she wore that tear-your-throat-out scowl that was probably frozen on her face.  If she had any other expressions that didn't fall into the person watching them getting hurt shortly after, Rizzen never saw them.

He couldn't watch her too long.  Watching her face for signs that she was onto their deception was out.  Eirene was talking to him, so he would watch her.

And try not to smirk when she was able to come up with something.  Rizzen nodded a few times as she explained and was about to ask a question when she got to the part about waking up alone when he saw her eyes lose focus and her face pale.  There was no way that was part of the act.  A quick glance over at Fahmida showed the other sergeant looking at Eirene with an eyebrow raised.

Then came the outburst.  Rizzen put a hand on her shoulder, in case she was about to drop.  Fahmida hissed something, probably a curse, under her breath.  "She should be in the infirmary," she said louder.

"I'll stay here with her.  Go find the Matron, just let her know one of her visitors is about to drop and can't make it wherever she is."  Rizzen was half tempted to wave his hand toward the open hall.

Fahmida didn't look pleased with the order, but she didn't argue.  "Stay here or limp her back to the infirmary with you," she snapped before taking off down the hall.

"Just hang on for a little while," Rizzen said, glaring at a few people: a maid, someone's secretary and well.. someone that peeked their heads around the corner to see what the racket was about.  Why couldn't anyone that would know something be curious?  Of course, Rizzen wouldn't know who would know the day to day tasks of the Matron, but so far they'd encountered exactly no one that was in any way important.

((AAaaaaahhh, sorry it kinda sucks a bit.  Matron will poofle in eventually, just didn't want her to appear just now, it'd be too genie-ish. @_@))