“You’re a whore Hayate…that’s all you’ll ever be, to anyone…�
The quivering boy sat by the foot of the door, face down inbetween his curled up knees, head jerking with every sob that rose up from his throat. How long he had been sitting there in the darkness of his room he did not know, but all he knew was his body was aching, his loins sore and bruised, and every muscle and joint stiff from exertion. How could anyone have this much sex in one day and not die from it? Why did that other prostitute have to say that to him anyhow? Because he wanted to hurt Hayate, wanted him to be doing exactly what he was doing now alone in his room, spending his free time feeling miserable.
“Hayate!�
A woman’s shrill voice pulled him from his dark thoughts as she swung the door open in his room. “Have another client.�
Another client?
I just got done with the last one!
Hayate stood and wiped the tears from his eyes as a young girl fearfully walked into the room. She closed the door and peered at him with uncertain eyes. Hayate stepped back into the darkness of his room so she couldn’t see his red and blotchy face and she followed, tip-toeing towards him as if she was trying not to wake anyone.
“Are the walls…thin?� she asked.
“Huh?� Hayate looked up at the girl and sat down on his bed.
“I just…am embarrassed is all,� she said coming to stand in front of him. “My sister put me up to it, and I’m…I’ve never done this before.�
Hayate smiled as he looked at the girl. He brought up a hand to her dark skin and caressed her cheek softly. He could understand what she was feeling, what she was going through and he felt his tears start to fall again.
“Are you okay?� she asked taking a step towards him.
“I’m fine,� he said looking away, wiping his nose. “I’m new to this.�
“Oh.�
“I sort of know how you feel.�
The girl stared at him for some time and then moved to sit down on the bed next to him. She placed her hand gently on his knee and he was embarrassed to find himself jerking slightly by the gentle touch.
“I’m just a whore,� he said to her. “Everyone tells me that.�
“And my sister tells me I’m a prude.�
Hayate chuckled, then it caught on and soon both of them were laughing lightly.
“I’m not sure about this. Can we…talk for a while?�
“Talk?� Hayate said staring at her. His eyes then softened. “That would be nice…�
She smiled and soon the two of them were chatting for a good hour, finding that her time together was almost up.
Hayate turned to her just then and looked serious. “I won’t hurt you,� he said taking her hand and helping her onto her back. “I promise.� She nodded.
And soon the boy felt the memory vanish, replaced by a man who turned to face him. Hayate fell back a step and stared at a reflection of himself. But this Hayate was much different in some way that he could not grasp at first. It wasn’t a boy that was looking back at him, but the face of a man. Someone who had left childhood behind and was looking at the young more foolish Hayate with a gleam of interest in his eyes. Eyes that glowed with a savage inner fire.
“It’s time to grow up Hayate,� the man said to him.
Hayate stared at his reflection, eyes full of wariness and defeat. “No, I can’t! I don’t know how!�
“You must,� the reflection said and his image wavered on the distant horizon before him.
“Time to move ahead, Hayate. You have the strength to do so; you just don’t know it yet.
“You’re hanging on to something I’m tired of dealing with…
Dealing with? Why was he telling himself this? What did that mean?
“Time to let go of the past...
“You aren’t whore any longer.
“Become a man…�
Hayate froze in place as the image of the crying boy shattered into a million shards of bright amber stained glass, and the next thing he knew he was falling…
Hayate hurtled back to earth as reality struck. With a jolt he was sitting up, a hand coming to grasp the hair that blinded his eyes. With a slow movement he shoved the hair away from his face, breathing hard in the dim light of the room.
An unfamiliar room. Alone. Where was he? How did he get here?
The room came into focus with clear accuracy. This room was clean, the bench he lay on almost warm and inviting. For the first time in his life he felt his body relax even with a mountain of emotions weighing heavy on his shoulders. He picked at the robe on him, looked around him and at the sliding wooden door slightly ajar to his left. Had someone brought him here? Who?
Fai.
Of course! The healer. He recalled a tidbit of memory of that healer talking about some sort of place where Hayate could get better. But what sort of place was this? A spring. Yes he remembered now. What in the world was a hot spring anyway? A sort of…clinic?
He turned towards the door and dropped his feet to the floor, gingerly testing them to see if he could stand properly. He wobbled a little on his first attempt but was able to make his way to the door to peek outside to see where he was. Holy shit! He was right, Fai was there with him, looking like he was lounging around in a sort of natural pool. Hayate’s gaze drifted up and his breath caught in his throat at the sight he saw. Throwing the door open to get a better view Hayate stopped and stared at the wonder that was this hot spring.
White and pink petals floated down passed his face and the scent of clean fresh air greeted him as he mindlessly stepped down a few wooden stairs. He couldn’t rip his eyes away from what he was seeing. There was no way he could be alive. He must be dead, be dreaming again. A place like this just couldn't exist!
A garden filled with pink and white blossoming trees quivered in the warm breeze, and as far as his eyes could see there were small little pools of blue and pale green light scattered around a stone-laid walkway. Playful branches dipped teasingly into the pool nearby and he found himself unable to look away at the beautiful glistening water before him. A large fence was erected around these pools, and suddenly he realized there were other steamy baths on the other side of the wooden wall, as light danced through the tiny gaps in the fence.
Hayate took a timid step towards this unbelievable scene, a hand coming to touch the stinging mark on his neck. No, he was definitely alive, the pain in his body told him that much. Something pulled to him and he realized what it was as his gaze lingered on a pile of soft blue hair pulled up into a messy ponytail. The steam from the pool causing something in his chest to warm frightfully fast. Skin the color of chocolate honey…
Fai!
Hayate jumped back a step, tripped and came tumbling down in a heap of pain. The next sound that filled his ears felt so out of place. Several giggling girls rushed over to him, carrying heavy towels in their hands.
“Oh, the boy is awake,� one of them said kneeling down to help him sit up.
“Yes, yes off to the spring with you young lad.�
“Wait, but we must first wash him!�
“I agree sister.�
Sister?
Hayate blankly stared up at the sea of beautiful faces, feeling his skin turn a haughty shade of pink.
“No, um...I can wash myself…� He stumbled over his words.
“Nonsense!� one of the taller ones said helping him to stand. “Come on girls, usher him on over, let’s get him cleaned up so he can better!� She winked at Hayate.
“WAIT!� Hayate said throwing his hands in front of his legs as one of the ladies yanked his robe from his shivering body. “No, stop, wait--where’re you taking me?!�
Hayate glanced over to Fai and back towards the small shower stall they forced him to. They pushed him down onto a stool and the next thing he knew their hands were all over him, scrubbing gently at his weary body, their scent making him calm and relaxed again.
“Wow, this is nice…yes, I…I don’t mind,� he heard himself say as he closed his eyes, soft hands washing at his hair. “Hmm…�
“Now off to the healing spring with you!� one of them said spinning him around and walking away.
Then Hayate found himself alone. Well not really alone. The parade of lovely ladies had finished and he stood there scrubbed clean, his hair glistening with oil, a soft silken robe folded over him. His eyes were like green polished jade as he took a moment to soak everything in. He turned to look at Fai, the sudden horror of where they wanted him to go written all over his face. The confusion washing over him, the uncertain feelings that were threatening to come back again.
No, he couldn’t! He wasn’t!
Biting his lip, he turned his back to Fai and started away from the spring.
Like hell he was getting into the same hot spring as Fai! To hell with getting better…he just…wanted to find a place to be miserable, alone and die…
Just then he stumbled, his shoulder slamming into the wall nearby. Damn it, why was he so...weak? He felt his legs shake as they gave out underneath him and he fell to his knees with a cry.
