Being an actual person would be better, but it seemed in that respect both Perish and Ode were right out of luck, both seeming to have an identity crisis, though Ode's was probably worse, Perish actually had memories of being normal once upon a time.
It was really those memories of normality that were keeping Perish going most of the time, she had a taste of what it was like to be alive and she continued in light of maybe having more of an experience, more feelings of being alive.
Though Ode knew what it was like to be alive, he strangely enough didn't know what it was like to be someone, like Perish could only just remember, quite the irony really.
"People always find reasons to attack me," Perish said gloomily, "Not that they need much of one other than to say I'm evil, that tends to work for everyone."
Indeed, before she had mastered the ritual to conjure the armour, some people had taken it upon themselves to try and end the evil creature that was her, she was a perversion of life and magic, no place in this world would welcome her.
The armour was intimidating, she'd give Ode that much, it shied away the weak and provoked the strong on occasion, as well as providing her some measure of defence to let her perform her task.
The armour was what made her the ultimate tool of vengeance, hard to stop, harder to kill, a truly nerve-wracking idea of having someone like Perish hunting you down. Except of course she didn't hunt anyone any more, unless she was told to fairly forcefully.
The other fact being is that she didn't entirely know where south was either... Her natural sense of direction was a little numb, like the rest of her.
Yep, Ode was good at being confusing whilst making a bit of sense along the way; don't take the armour off, yes you should take the armour off, no don't ask a bard whether or not to take it off, but yes he'll tell you when to take it off. Lots of sense... Perish's head hurt a little with it going round in circles, trying desperately to understand so she wouldn't disappoint Ode, but it was incredibly hard.
She looked a little lost and sad as she went about figuring it out, somehow she was supposed to obey two mutually exclusive orders, but perhaps the best idea would probably be to drop the train of thought, maybe Ode would produce a clearer order for her later.
It was surprisingly comforting knowing she wasn't the only one confused, it often made her feel isolated when she couldn't understand something, less alive because it made sense to someone alive and not her.
He was right about one thing, it was confusing, acting a certain way in public sounded a little silly and made absolutely no sense whatsoever, it was mainly because she had no idea why she should care. People frowned upon things because they were unhappy with something, Perish couldn't understand the 'thing' that was making them unhappy, their reasons made no sense.
It was hard to explain, yet also there wasn't much to explain about it, when something didn't make sense it just plain didn't make sense, especially when it concerned humans.
She was a little happy that Ode was excited about something, even if she didn't understand what was so exciting, when someone else was happy that was a good thing, so in turn Perish could be happy.
Though the thought of watching people didn't sound all that interesting at first, she'd probably just have rocks thrown at her and people chasing after her with pitchforks and whatnot, quite depressing, but if Ode wanted them to watch people then so be it.
Ode did understand most of what she was going through in her un-life, she had a purpose but not a reason, she'd become a rather obsolete tool, though Ode didn't quite understand the magnitude of how far she'd fallen into this form, it was like trying to reshape a tool that kept reverting or 'regenerating' back to its original shape.
That was just it, she had been turned into something that was incredibly resistant to change, almost to the point of being frozen in time. Turned into something that couldn't really desire anything other than the purpose it had given itself at the time.
"But I don't desire anything strongly... I mean, I want to follow you but I'd stop if you told me to," Perish tried to explain, but she wasn't entirely sure how to properly say she'd lost her willpower to change.
She was what she was, living in a bottomless pit of her own making, falling to hell but never reaching it.
A clear order at last, Perish nodded at Ode, though she didn't know when they'd be out of Connlaoth, hoping Ode would tell her when. It did remind her of the clothes factor, she hadn't taken the armour off in such a long time she'd forgotten if she was wearing any or not, though she had a feeling she had put some on before donning her armour way back when. Though her clothes didn't regenerate like herself and her armour did...
Ode did seem determined to pull her out of this bottomless pit she'd thrown herself into, but somehow she just couldn't share in his determination, she barely even knew what determination was, let alone how to be 'determined'. Thing was, her transformation into what she was today didn't seem so much of a 'change' as it was a 'fall', or 'loss', she was unaware of how to change into something that had all the things she had lost.
It was a good feeling though, encouraging? Maybe? That Ode was so determined to help her out, speaking inspirational words full of life and energy, no one had ever done that before, ever.
She jumped in surprise as Ode suddenly started running off for the river ahead, making a trail of discarded possessions, Perish instantly moved into a light jog to try and keep up, worried about being left behind or forgotten. She came a few feet to the water's edge and looked around like a lost little lamb, not sure what to do now until Ode poked his head above the surface and spoke to her again.
Well it was official this time, lose the armour if she wanted to get in, and she saw no other option right now so she got to it.
With robotic efficiency, her hands simultaneously and systematically reached for pairs of clasps and undid them with remarkable speed, a series of clunks and clacks as her hands travelled directly from clasp to clasp all the way down her armour.
And with that her armour just basically fell apart off of her, collapsing messily on the ground around her, left only in the remnants of her white linen garments that blended in with her marble skin rather well. They were completely littered with huge rips and cuts, her left sleeve completely fell off along with some parts of her shirt, and a lot of her pants.
People usually had scars to tell a history of their battles, Perish had wrecked clothes for hers, and she'd been rather busy.
Ode hadn't said anything about clothes so she figured she'd leave them on until he said otherwise, slowly walking into the water a little nonchalantly, though it was a bit of a problem when she walked completely underwater, she looked up at the surface and attempted to swim.
Problem being was that she hadn't needed to swim in a very long time, she generally just walked everywhere, so she was a bit hopeless at swimming.
She did manage to reach the surface a little clumsily, limbs flailing in their inexperience.
The water in her immediate vicinity was getting very cold very quickly, like she was sucking the heat out of the very water, yet she didn't appear to be getting warmer.
"I've forgotten how to swim," Perish remarked as she fought to keep her head above water so she could still talk and listen, some soaked strands of her white hair was draped over her face partly, but it didn't seem to bother her, "Swimming was impossible in armour so I guess I forgot how..."
It had been thirty or so years...
